what do you regret??
Is there anything that you regret doing in your past??? COME ON!!! Let it ALL out!!
I hurt an ex-girlfriend of mine very badly, and she did absolutely nothing to deserve it. I haven't spoken to her in 7 years and have no idea where she is now, but if I could apologize to her for what I did, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
i regret not following my dream to be a ballerina.
oh, and i wish i'd have joined the cellar sooner so that i could have a higher post count than bruce in less than 5 years.
and one more thing. I regret not thinking of this thread idea first.
thanks patootie, now i 'm all depressed. :(
Yeah LJ, getting a little slow on the draw in your old age.
I regret about a 100 different things I've done in my life, but I wouldn't be who I am having not done them...I've made most of them right, guess I'm a learn by doing kind of guy.
That said, learn from the past but don't dwell on it too much, it after all doesn't even exist anymore.
I would like to apologize for my odd behavior over the past couple of months here on Cellar.
One of my biggest weaknesses as a human being is that I hold grudges longer than I should. Another is that I employ scorched earth tactics more than I should. I've been angry towards the board as a whole, when in reality, I was angry at a few people in particular.
Again, my apologies.
Thank you.
Originally posted by sycamore
I would like to apologize for my odd behavior over the past couple of months here on Cellar.
One of my biggest weaknesses as a human being is that I hold grudges longer than I should. Another is that I employ scorched earth tactics more than I should. I've been angry towards the board as a whole, when in reality, I was angry at a few people in particular.
Again, my apologies.
Thank you.
so .......what are you gonna do about it? are you entertaining making peace with those few people and coming back home?
1. I skipped going to MU Journalism School and partied for 20 years instead.
2. I was a major drunk for 25 years.
3. Sex with my psychotic cousin when I was 17.
4. Causing unwarranted emotional harm to a couple of very fine young women in my youth.
5. Marrying my first wife.
6. A few different passes I've made at women (mostly comes under the heading of being a drunk, though)
7. Answering this question in public.
(edited to correct what made me look like I'd never had a math class in my life).
Originally posted by lumberjim
so .......what are you gonna do about it? are you entertaining making peace with those few people and coming back home?
I've already made peace with those particular people in my mind. I hold no anger towards them.
As far as "coming back home":
--I never really left.
--The Manifestos will remain at the Bosque.
Originally posted by Elspode
Sex with my psychotic cousin when I was 17.
Thank you for further cementing Missouri's shady reputation. :)
She lived in Kansas at that time...does that help?
It was the drugs. I swear. And it isn't like we reproduced or anything.
Yeah but was she hot?
I've apologized to Syc, and he was cool about it, so one more lesson learned. Maybe we need an Apology thread? Course we'd need a Fuck You thread then too.
Anyone heard from OnyxCougar or StaceyV? I hope they didn't kill each other.
Is there anything that you regret doing in your past
Yes, I regret doing my past.
If I knew then, what I know now, I'd be rich and pretty.;)
oh, and i wish i'd have joined the cellar sooner so that i could have a higher post count than bruce in less than 5 years.
You've got to get over the post count thing. Better yet, I'll sell you 3000 for a quarter. No, 25 cents, US money, I'll even finance it.
Originally posted by sycamore
I hurt an ex-girlfriend of mine very badly, and she did absolutely nothing to deserve it. I haven't spoken to her in 7 years and have no idea where she is now, but if I could apologize to her for what I did, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Aww...that would be a good idea, huh?? We all make mistakes...and we learn from them..well some of us!!
One of my mistakes that I regret is telling my bf that i didnt love him anymore....which wasnt true!! I loved him with all my heart (and still do) when i told him that I didnt love him anymore. The reason i told him that was because i was mad at him....i cant quite excatly remember why i was mad at him, but i was....so i wanted to make him even more madder and pissed off...so thinking that telling him i didnt love him anymore would do the job..well it didnt...it just made things worse. I hurt him really bad, and he had no idea why i was telling him this.....but things finally got better. I learned to never tell someone anything that you dont mean...because words are very hurtful.
Originally posted by lumberjim
i regret not following my dream to be a ballerina.
oh, and i wish i'd have joined the cellar sooner so that i could have a higher post count than bruce in less than 5 years.
and one more thing. I regret not thinking of this thread idea first.
thanks patootie, now i 'm all depressed. :(
Sowwy :( I just thought it would be an interesting thing to see what people regret in their lives. See what kinds of mistakes people has made...
Ignore him, qt, he can't start ALL the interestng threads!
I'm not sure I've ever done anything I truly regret. I mean yeah, in retrospect some stuff was stupid, but it seemed like a good idea at the time and it got me here.
As far as stuff I regret not doing... well, I really really shoulda put the moves on this one girl in college. But I chickened out.
Now, if you were to ask about things that I don't actually regret .... but thinks that I wonder what would have happened if I had done differently. Well. That would be a very very very long list.
Originally posted by qtpatootie14
Sowwy
ick.
take that back
Originally posted by Elspode
She lived in Kansas at that time...does that help?
It could have been worse...she could have been from Arkansas.
i regret running off to get married to some idiot sailor when i was 18 instead of going to college. i regret the fact that i didn't appreciate my grandmother enough when i was growing up and i regret lying to her and getting high every day in high school.
i regret cutting my hair.
i regret buying the P.O.D. cd and the first Nickelback cd.
i regret selling my drumset.
i regret most of the men i've slept with.
i regret agreeing to marry that illegal brazilian guy for money, before i knew all of the immigration laws. (thank god, it didn't fall through).
i regret being careless and having to get an abortion 5 years ago,.
i regret spending 2 1/2 years of my life with a guy that i never loved as much as he loved me. what a waste of time.
i regret all of that advil i took while going out drinking, because it's probably the cause of my porous intestinal lining and food allergies.
i regret the 1/2 gallon of raspberry chocolate swirl ice cream.
i really regret having sex with the bass player from my old band, because it caused the band to break up and caused him to start drinking again after 7 years of sobriety.
i regret leaving all of that stuff in texas when i left my ex-husband. my high school yearbooks, baby pictures, etc etc.
i regret giving my rottweiler to my old high school friend and then getting into a fight with her, because now i can't see my dog.
i TOTALLY regret that homemade porno flick i made for my ex-boyfriend that he made copies of and passed around to his friends. i heard that they were showing it at after hours parties...i've since died my hair black and stopped going out to the same places. small island- you know? i regret signing up for the CMEP right after OC,
this is getting depressing. i'm gonna stop now.
Maybe it's time for me to regret having an utterly and completely boring life.
I regret not smoking more pot in high school and college.
Originally posted by sycamore
I regret not smoking more pot in high school and college.
Y'know. There's always time to catch up. :)
Too paranoid to do it now...it'd be my luck that I'd smoke a bowl, then be involved in some accident at work.
I also regret not getting to make love to my ex-fiance. That probably would have been a pretty good lay, but she just wouldn't put out.
I regret not being nicer to Stacey in the past because now I have almost no shot at seeing the homemade porno.
Stacey, what was the name of the band?
Died, what color was it originally?
I regret now not reading the original do you smoke thread because now I have no clue when I'm talking to someone if they're at big pot head or not.
<--never/not currently/will never be a pothead
Originally posted by sycamore
Too paranoid to do it now...it'd be my luck that I'd smoke a bowl, then be involved in some accident at work.
I also regret not getting to make love to my ex-fiance. That probably would have been a pretty good lay, but she just wouldn't put out.
You're fucking kidding right? You were engaged and you didn't bang her?!?!?!?!?!?
I regret being talked into trading my Credence Clearwater album to my brother for his Jackson Five album sometime like in 1972. Still bugs me. But I learned from the experience.
Originally posted by warch
I regret being talked into trading my Credence Clearwater album to my brother for his Jackson Five album sometime like in 1972. Still bugs me. But I learned from the experience.
Why? Both are great.
Originally posted by blue58
You're fucking kidding right? You were engaged and you didn't bang her?!?!?!?!?!?
[COLOR=indigo]Hey hey hey. Me and my third husband NEVER had sex. Ever. Not once. Not even to consummate the marriage. It happens.[/COLOR]
Originally posted by blue58
I regret not being nicer to Stacey in the past because now I have almost no shot at seeing the homemade porno.
Stacey, what was the name of the band?
Died, what color was it originally?
I regret now not reading the original do you smoke thread because now I have no clue when I'm talking to someone if they're at big pot head or not.
i haven't smoked weed since i was 16 years old. well, i tried twice when i was 21 and both times i had major anxiety attacks, so i am 100% weed free.
my band's name was red#40.
i had platinum blonde hair from age 21-age 27.
no, you have no chance at seeing the video, unless you live in newport and you go to after hours parties.:rolleyes:
Okay...who's up for a road trip to Rhode Island? ;)
They say it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done.
I'm still trying to write that book idea I had while in Vegas. Then maybe I wouldn't regret flushing a couple of grams of good coke and some LSD down the greyhound bus station bathroom.
Originally posted by JeepNGeorge
They say it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done.
well, this opens up a whole 'nother realm of possibilities.
I regret not getting it on with 2 chicks.
I regret not having a 9" schwanze. ( if only it was a little shorter, I could lead a normal life . No more blood transfusions before sex...sigh)
I regret not getting it on with THREE chicks.
yeah. ok, that's all of em
I'm SO up for the road trip.
What color we're you born with Stacey?
OC: That pretty much left me speechless.
I gotta go now, because it's starting to thunder and lightning out, this may be the big one.
We will have live streaming footage of rain and dark skies in just a minute for you blue.
i was born bald, had blonde hair from age 1 1/2 - age 6, and by age 8 i had a deep brown with auburn highlights. i went blonde at age 21....
What I regret the most........I regret giving up my dreams for a girl. I promised myself a long, long time ago that I would never let a girl come between me and my dream. But it happened, I feel.... and I feel hard. I got married 3 days after my 18th Birthday. I've been married for 10 years and she decides that she wants to be on her own. During that 10 years, I slowly gave up my dream (career goal) because I decided that I wanted a family and just as we start to plan the family....just as we are going to start the baby machine....she up and leaves. Why, I really don't know. But now, I'm stuck with no dream, no family and no wife. I feel like I've lost everything.
So, in short, I regret falling in love....but I hope I can again....someday.....if she doesn't take the heart in the divorce.
(Sorry, having a bad night)
Sorry to hear that, Homer. If you don't mind me asking, what is/was your dream?
Originally posted by homerjackson
What I regret the most........I regret giving up my dreams for a girl. I promised myself a long, long time ago that I would never let a girl come between me and my dream. But it happened, I feel.... and I feel hard. I got married 3 days after my 18th Birthday. I've been married for 10 years and she decides that she wants to be on her own. During that 10 years, I slowly gave up my dream (career goal) because I decided that I wanted a family and just as we start to plan the family....just as we are going to start the baby machine....she up and leaves. Why, I really don't know. But now, I'm stuck with no dream, no family and no wife. I feel like I've lost everything.
So, in short, I regret falling in love....but I hope I can again....someday.....if she doesn't take the heart in the divorce.
(Sorry, having a bad night)
One thing not to regret, you didn't start the baby machine and then break up. Outside of pro-sports, most dreams can be pursued at 28 at least as effectively as 18. You know more now, get after it!
That's a good question.
Let me start with was, what was my dream. Every since I was 10 years old, I wanted to work in the movies. I loved, and still love movies. I wanted to write/direct/produce/act. I started to write while I was in high school and I performed in every play. That is how I meet my wife, we were in a play together. I even when to college on a drama scholarship.
Now, here's the funny part of all this. I met Wilford Brimley while I was going to film school (to make a long story short, my brother-n-law introduced me) and Wilford told me that to get in to filmmaking I should forget school and just get in. Work 18 hr days for little to no money. I thought long and hard about it and decide that, with a wife and someday children, I couldn't do it. Family was more important. So I gave it up. Do I regret it? No. I think I did the right thing at the time.
So what is my dream now? I don't know. I still have the dream of having a family (the white picket fence and the whole works) but part of me says "screw that, it will never happen" and I should find a new dream because this dating crap sucks. I've only ever dated one girl in my life. I don't know how the game works and I hate playing games. I've already tried to date and got shot down so I know I'm not good at it. Plus, the field has changed. Now, not only do I have to compete with other guys, but I also have to compete with girls for girls. What kind of shit is this.
So I'm working on another dream, something I should do with my life, because I've always believed that I would change the world somehow, even if it's my own personal world. People have been telling me for years that I'm funny and I should do stand up. I don't know if I have the confidence to do it anymore, to get up in front of a crowd. Hell, I can't even confront a girl and take her to the movies, buy her dinner, how the hell am I going to make people laugh.
Well, sorry for prolonging the answer to your question. As you can see, I've been feeling pretty sucky the last couple of days.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by lumberjim
ick.
take that back [/QUOTE
Ok then...i'm not sorry...;)
Originally posted by homerjackson
What I regret the most........I regret giving up my dreams for a girl. I promised myself a long, long time ago that I would never let a girl come between me and my dream. But it happened, I feel.... and I feel hard. I got married 3 days after my 18th Birthday. I've been married for 10 years and she decides that she wants to be on her own. During that 10 years, I slowly gave up my dream (career goal) because I decided that I wanted a family and just as we start to plan the family....just as we are going to start the baby machine....she up and leaves. Why, I really don't know. But now, I'm stuck with no dream, no family and no wife. I feel like I've lost everything.
So, in short, I regret falling in love....but I hope I can again....someday.....if she doesn't take the heart in the divorce.
(Sorry, having a bad night)
:( That story makes me sad......I could just picture myself in that situation.....something I would probably never get over...
HJ,
here is my own divorce thread in case it helps any
I was in a similar situation to your own. About six months after she left, I am happier than ever.
Dating, it turns out, is easier than you think and simpler than you think. There is minor protocol to learn, true, but you soon realize that in the end we're all just human beings, getting along as best we can, seeing whether we get along with each other. That's all it is. And I'll wager your odds are fine; you're just seeing things now through the horrible post-breakup lens. It gets much better... and then it again has the chance of being awesomely wonderful.
Life is ups and downs and you need the downs to appreciate the ups.
Undertoad, I have a question that I hope is not too painful, because I know it's painful for me.
How did you deal with the fact that your wife will someday be with someone else. That is what is killing me right now. Although my wife sucked at being a wife and I wont miss that, but I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that somebody else is going to hold her, somebody else is going to love her, somebody else is going to see her in those nice little bra and panty sets that I bought for you from Victoria Secrets. And Damn, that hurts.
I know that I need to get over it and move on and that is the hardest thing for me to do. It's only been a month, I hope your right and five months from now I will be back to my old, old self.
I think someone in the D thread pointed out something that was really true about it. You lived with her for so long and so closely bonded that she became a part of you. Your emotions were intertwined, your decisions were made jointly, etc. so when you imagine her with another guy, it's like it's incomprehensible.
But eventually you will think of her as her and you as you.
It helped me to see that the first decision my ex made on her own was obviously a terrible decision - pathetically wrong in almost every way.
There's one for the "would you rather" thread. I got full disclosure of what was going on in her life. I got full disclosure that when she went on vacation on her own, she hooked up with one of the staffers and had hot monkey sex for days in a row. I knew the guy's name and their plans together. I knew when they broke up. I know when she dated again and what happened on the first few dates. She told me everything.
Well, many people get NO information at all. What would you rather? I'm pretty sure that I prefer it my way. It's dramatic, it makes a good story, and it helps to see and understand what happened and even to get over it all.
Then again, I have never ever been the jealous sort.
Originally posted by homerjackson
I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that somebody else is going to hold her, somebody else is going to love her, somebody else is going to see her in those nice little bra and panty sets that I bought for you from Victoria Secrets. And Damn, that hurts.
I know that I need to get over it and move on and that is the hardest thing for me to do. It's only been a month, I hope your right and five months from now I will be back to my old, old self.
I know everyone is different....but I am the type of person who could NEVER imagine my boyfriend with another girl...he is my bf right now....but eventually he will be my husband...in due time....but we have shared so much together, experienced alot together, and just spent so much time together that even having the thought of him spending his time with some other girl, cuddling together and everything else just makes me cringe inside. I hope it never happens to me....and I am extremely sorry for the ones who have to go through this.....i could only imagine...
Originally posted by homerjackson
Well, sorry for prolonging the answer to your question. As you can see, I've been feeling pretty sucky the last couple of days.
No man, it's completely cool.
You're only 3 months older than I am...you're young with no kids and have (hopefully) a long life ahead of you. If you still have that dream, then by all means, go for it.
As far as dating...I'm not sure whether you live in a big city or small town, but...don't push the issue. If you try to push the issue, you'll probably wind up becoming something you're not and settling for second-best. Fuck that. First things first...take care of you. Then, look around...flirt, look in the weekly papers, go to a few nice bars or hangouts where the ladies flock. Have fun with it...you may get that house with the picket fence yet.
Good luck, man...feel free to vent here anytime.
Originally posted by homerjackson
Undertoad, I have a question that I hope is not too painful, because I know it's painful for me.
How did you deal with the fact that your wife will someday be with someone else.
The surest cure for this is to go be with someone else yourself. Ladies, you can cover your eyes if you wish, but this needs to be said:
Nothing makes you feel better about being dumped and someone else hosing your previous love than going out and getting another lovely lady all hot for your stuff, making her go "yeeha". Really. Once you find out that many parts are interchangeable, then the rest suddenly becomes much easier.
I know it sounds stupid, but it isn't. You get so wired into the person you are with that you can't imagine them with anyone else nor yourself with someone else, but trust me...go out, have some cheap sex with new people, gain some equilibrium, *then* start worrying about a relationship.
For the love of God, DO NOT immediately hook into another serious relationship without a couple of practice laps around the track first.
Originally posted by homerjackson
It's only been a month, I hope your right and five months from now I will be back to my old, old self.
Don't think so. Your old self was half a couple and your older self was a high school kid. Right now it's all you can think about when you aren't distracted by something that needs immediate attention. That will pass slowly.
Elspode is right in that hot monkey sex will make it pass faster, but your bound to think about it when your mind wanders. Even though you'll think of it, you'll be less bitter in time.
Last week one of my ex-girlfriends, that I really and truely loved, emailed me she had gotten married. She had been living with this guy for 2 years, we had communicated almost every day and I would visit them at least once a month, but that email tied my stomach in a knot for 2 days. Once you love them you always care. For women it seems when they're done with you, they're as cold and heartless as possible. I present in evidence
this poem by sun sparkz called "Dear Brother" as an example of a stake through the heart. As justified as it may be, it's cold, very cold. And I'd even say typical, although I'll probably take heat for it.
Welcome to the Cellar, Homer. You've found the best place to air you're problem because there's a lot of people who've felt your pain.
;)
In some circumstances, I agree women are able to move on a lot quicker because -
1) Its a LOT easier for a woman to go out and pick up a replacement. (sorry but it its true)
2) We can be very bitchy and easily remind ourselves daily of all the crappy things that our man used to do. Where as guys tend to be a bit more sentimental and remember the good things when they are sulking. where as women tend to think of the bad things when we are sulking.
3) (IMO) we tend to be a bit more domestically independant.
_________________
with reference to my poem, yes it is very cold, it reflects a hatred of an action that i will never forget, or forgive. However, it was written as the title states for my late brother, and should not be taken as evidence in a matter where romantic relationships are the case. With romantic relationships i dont think i could be so "cold" in discarding my feelings. it really all depends on what the other party has done to bring the situation to its current state.
I could not harbour feelings like that portrayed in my poem for someone just because our relationship had ended. It would have to go a lot deeper than that.
I appreciate your words and the poem. And your right, women can be cold. My wife, for example, did not care to keep in touch with anybody. I still communicate with three of my friends from high school almost on a weekly basis. I also keep in contact with people we have met along the way. She could care less. Although I don't think I want to know what she does from here on out, I am curious because I care. I doubt, very highly, that she will ever contact me.
It's kind of funny, but since she moved out, a song by Garth Brooks called "What she doing now" (I think that's the title) popped in my head. I haven't heard that song for years. Of course, "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth also pops in, and I'm not really a fan of Garth. (Sorry Garth, if you read this)
Right now, I don't care if I get monkey sex (but it couldn't hurt) I would just like the pain to go away (song call "Love takes Time" by Mariah Carey pops in head......Why I have no idea....) I wish that I could find a girl, not so much for a relationship, but for friendship. I lost three people the day she left, my wife, my love, and my best friend. The hardest part about this break up is losing my best friend because I have nobody to turn to, nobody to share stupid stuff, like I would share with her this: Hey, that guy in the new movie Punisher is the same guy from Deep Blue Sea....and she would say....that is cool, now I want to see Punisher...(We loved stupid Shark movies) Just stuff like that. I know it sounds stupid and I know that I'm sounding like a baby that needs to grow up, but that is how I'm feeling. I really have nobody to talk to, joke with, laugh with or anything...and that is tough for me to deal with right now.
And Elspode, I agree totally with what you are saying, I couldn't get into a relationship right now. That would not be fair for me or the next girl. But the part about getting a few laps around the track....easier said than done. I will have to start a thread and get some help with that, since it's been 13 years (dated for 2 1/2 years and married for 10 1/2 years) since I've been in the situation and my confidence is shot.
And, again, sorry for the babbling and I appreciate you letting me get this off my chest, it really does help to talk (write) it out....and it's much cheaper than a shrink.
Originally posted by Sun_Sparkz
1) Its a LOT easier for a woman to go out and pick up a replacement. (sorry but it its true)
Not after age 35 it isn't.*
[SIZE=1]*may vary from culture to culture[/size]
yeah true, i am only speaking from an early twenties point of view.
Originally posted by Undertoad
Not after age 35 it isn't.*
[SIZE=1]*may vary from culture to culture[/size]
Two words: beer goggles
Hey, you’re making progress. You’ve identified the main source of your discomfort. After 10 years, even if you were getting laid every night, that’s not all that much time to fill. The real problem is nobody to talk to about things you wouldn’t actually call someone to have a conversation about. Posting, knowing someone will read it, even if they don’t respond, helps some. But the real solution is to put yourself in situations where there are people around to talk to. Organizations, clubs and groups can give you that if they’re not couple oriented. If you want a song to put in your head:
If you wake up and don't want to smile,
If it takes just a little while,
Open your eyes and look at the day,
You'll see things in a different way.
Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.
Why not think about times to come,
And not about the things that you've done,
If your life was bad to you,
Just think what tomorrow will do.
Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.
All I want is to see you smile,
If it takes just a little while,
I know you don't believe that it's true,
I never meant any harm to you.
Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.
Don't you look back,
Don't you look back.
We’ll be here, so y’all come back now.
Sparkz, your poem may not be indicative of your feelings but it is a perfect description of many, many women I've seen leaving relationships. A damn good poem too.
:D
I didn't even think about the Fleetwood Mac Song. I will dig it up out of my collection and check it out. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.
You guys have been great. It helps, tremedously, to vent. And your right, I need time. I'm on a rollarcoaster ride that I never know will end, but you guys have help me get back to a high part and out of the low.
I don't have the confidence to date and I want to prove to myself that I can. I've already messed up twice in the last month because I got into much of a hurry. I think I will take sometime to find the real me and see what I'm going to do with my life.
On a high note, I went out yesterday and bought a Guitar. I've always wanted to learn, but never had the money or time, now I have both. What prompted me to get the guitar was I heard one our "our" songs (actually more mine than ours. I don't think she ever care about it) and I thought to myself.."I want to learn to play that song." I hope that I can share it with someone new because it is really beautiful. The problem right now with the song is that it is coming true, which is painful. To explain it, let me give you the words:
if anyone had passed me by......and hadn't say hello
if anyone had acted like.....but never meant before
it wouldn't make no difference....it wouldn't make me blue
if it was anyone but you
and if anyone had looked away....when I caught their eye
if anyone had seen me wave....and let it go right by
it wouldn't make no difference....I wouldn't come unglued
if it was anyone but you
if it was anyone...except the one...that I had loved and counted
on...to stand beside me til the end
and if I was any fool....except the fool...who gave his heart and soul to you...I wouldn't be so devistated...just seeing you again.
cause if anyone....had touch my hand...and gently said I do
promised me forever....and then it been untrue
I might have understood it.....that's something anyone might do
if it was anyone but you.
I said I might have understood it....that's something anyone might do
if it was anyone but you.
It's a beautiful song and I tear up anytime I hear now because It is sooooooooo true.
Thanks all
Is it wrong not to have regrets?
I can't think of a single one true regret.
you know, elf, i was thinking the same thing.
life is choices. in some cases you obviously make the wrong move. so you regret it. BUT. you learned from your error, you changed a little bit. now, who you are includes all of your wrong choices. if you made the right move EVERY time, you'd probably be an insufferable asshole.
good point. dont regret it. forget it!
Back in 1991, a buddy with an inside track to registering domain names asked me if I wanted to register anything.
I regret not thinking about that a little more before replying no.
Get over it & move on.
That's my theory and I'm sticking with it.
Thats a good theory elf...but some people cannot just get up and move on.....and I am one of them...I admit it...I am the biggest baby when it comes time for me to move on.....I have experienced it many many times....
If my boyfriend and I were to break up and someone would to tell me to move on.....I couldnt....it is just to painful...
I don't get it.
There's not a damned thing you can do about the past. Nothing in this world can ever let you go back and change something already done.
And if there's nothing you can do about it, why should you be miserable? Using your example: If there is nothing that can be done to mend the relationship, why should you feel badly that it's over? Why should you spend precious time in your life mulling over something that is gone? I don't mean go out and find another boyfriend as soon as possible, rather, LIVE your life as you see fit.
[cheesiness]
What's that saying?
Don't cry because it's gone. . . . smile because it happened.
[/cheesiness]
yanno?
[SIZE=1]*edited for appropriate bracketage[/SIZE]
in 1999 my wife and i were in escrow on a house here in orange county. It was a 3 bed, 2 bath on a quarter acre for 323k. We were contingent on an our condo selling, and it fell through. We could have done some heroic hoop jumping and still bought the house, but we let it go, and figured we would just buy later.
Today, you can't get into that zip code for under $750,00 and that same house resold this past summer for over a million.
-sm
but what's the house you DID buy worth in comparison to what you paid?
Originally posted by smoothmoniker
...We could have done some heroic hoop jumping and still bought the house, but we let it go, and figured we would just buy later.
I would say you made the correct decision. Choosing not to put an enormous financial strain on your marriage was the right thing to do. Hey, it could just as easily have backfired and financial pressure just ruins relationships.
Hopefully, your wife feels the same but...
Originally posted by elf
[B]I don't get it.
And if there's nothing you can do about it, why should you be miserable? Using your example: If there is nothing that can be done to mend the relationship, why should you feel badly that it's over? Why should you spend precious time in your life mulling over something that is gone? I don't mean go out and find another boyfriend as soon as possible, rather, LIVE your life as you see fit.
I wouldnt quite exactly put myself in a state of misery....I would never live my life being miserable...there are way far more things that I would rather be doing than sitting and worrying about stuff.....ok, I would worry, but i wouldnt stay miserable...
But...I would still have a hard time getting over something like my bf and I breaking up.....thats really something hard to get over..especially with him and I...and yes, I would eventually move on..
Originally posted by homerjackson
Right now, I don't care if I get monkey sex (but it couldn't hurt) I would just like the pain to go away (song call "Love takes Time" by Mariah Carey pops in head......Why I have no idea....)
Chorus:
Love takes time
To heal then you're hurting so much
Couldn't see that I was blind
To let you go
I can't escape the pain
Inside
'Cause love takes time
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna be here
Alone
I can only say this:
"This too shall pass". And don't let anyone rush you into feeling different. Hell, it's going to take a while because you had so much time and emotions wrapped into this relationship. So you feel as bad as you need to for as long as you need to. In other woods, don't dwell, but
DO acknowledge.
:)
Originally posted by lumberjim
you know, elf, i was thinking the same thing.
life is choices. in some cases you obviously make the wrong move. so you regret it. BUT. you learned from your error, you changed a little bit. now, who you are includes all of your wrong choices. if you made the right move EVERY time, you'd probably be an insufferable asshole.
good point. dont regret it. forget it!
Interesting. How can one forget a regret when something reminds you of it everyday?
For instance, I've been overweight practically my whole life. I acknowledge that was totally my fault (my horrible eating habits). Being overweight for as long as I have has contributed to my diabetes and to my kidney failure. Having to live with the results of my negligence hasn't been easy (as you may have read here). I don't "dwell" and beat myself up over it, but I do acknowledge it. I can't pretend that it didn't happen, because it did and I'm living with the results. So basically my regrets are my bad eating habits, my smoking, my not exercising to get more healthier.
You say that now who you are includes all of your wrong choices. Well, if that is the case, I want to trade "me" in for a newer model.
*don't worry folks, I see my shrink this Thursday. This just hit home a bit too hard...*
In other words, don't dwell, but DO acknowledge.
:)
Excellent advice. I got over a painful break-up by saying to myself "This is the most painful thing I have ever experienced, but I
will get over it". Over and over and over and over and over ..... again. 'Til I did.
Originally posted by elf
I don't get it.
There's not a damned thing you can do about the past. Nothing in this world can ever let you go back and change something already done.
I don't know if you meant that regarding relationships, or just things in general, but either way, it's easier said than done with many people.
I agree that one shouldn't wallow in misery about things, but sometimes, it's just hard to let go of the past.
I know this all too well: I would
LOVE to go back to the way things used to be with me (at least a little bit), but I know that I can't, and that makes me
angry sometimes (and I'm dealing with that with the help of a psychiatrist that specializes in chronic illnesses...I have kidney failure). What he has helped me with is that having certain feelings of anger, etc. is ok, and that to try to feel otherwise when you honestly don't is only counterproductive. Of course, anyone who is clinically depressed may need to seek professional advice/couseling.
The point is that I don't "dwell", but I'm not going to ignore how I feel, and pretend that the choices that I made in the past didn't contribute to the way I am today (and yes, I'm totally regretting making those choices).
It's good that you are able to keep the past in the past and move on, but realize that there are those of us who need a bit more time to get to that point. :)
Originally posted by elf
I don't get it.
There's not a damned thing you can do about the past. Nothing in this world can ever let you go back and change something already done.
No, but you sure as hell can get even.:D
[COLOR=indigo]I was listening to this on my mp3 disc in the car, and remembered my pain as recently as last May. I was suicidal, and I hadn't even married the guy. Thought you minght find the lyrics something you can identify with. Get the mp3. Really.[/COLOR]
Fire, smoke, bad joke
That's what my life's been turned into
Hurt, cry, pray to die
That's all that I've got left to do
Without you
Everytime someone speaks your name
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
Guilt, shame, I'm to blame
For all the pain I put you through
Cold, stoned, mind blown
There's nothin' left for me to lose
Without you
Everytime someone speaks your name
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
Time goes by
Still, I'm
Without you
Everytime someone speaks your name
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you
Everytime someone speaks your name
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
Without you, oh without you
~~Lonestar