humor in a nutshell

long time ago, I read somewhere that the funniest phrase is "Baby shampoo" if it is used instead of hello or other form of greeting

try it sometime, it might just work.

Baby shampoo.


nope. I think your information is incorrect.

That's because you forgot, rinse & repeat.:)

What the hell have you been reading?

Nothing that promises no tears could possibly be funny.

Originally posted by blue58
What the hell have you been reading?

some website on angelfire would be my guess.

(hell, everybody knows that "whale penis" is actually the funniest phrase if used as a greeting.)

but if you add the words 'in bed' to any phrase you get from a fortune cookie, it will automatically becomes hilarious.

Just so happens I had Thai food at lunch today, and kept a couple of fortune cookies until now. Let's test the theory:

'Good things come to those who wait. Be patient.' (in bed)

'You have natural grace and great consideration of others.' (in bed)

05-14-25-32-35 21 (in bed)

Works for me

Magic time is created when unconventional person comes.

(I have that on the wall in my cube)

"Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought."

I got this in a cookie when I was younger, and have tried to live my life by it.

Help, I'm trapped in a cookie factory.
We used "Under the sheets" instead of "in bed", back in the day.

I have three fortunes taped to my monitor from various times in the last 6 years or so:

"You are never bitter, deceptive, or petty."

"You love Chinese food."

"Pink will be your lucky color."

Oh Christ, I just noticed Clod's post count and register date, we have another LJ on board!

And she looks way better too, normal sized (and colored) head and all.

Happy Monkey...great fortune!

No way, his average is 12-and-a-third a day, while mine is a mere 3-and-some-change. I cannot claim to rival the postiness that is lumberjim.

And xoxoBruce, wolf, and Undertoad all surpass me in the average department as well, to name a few. So nyeah. :p

there's something you should know about blue58, clodfobble:

Originally posted by Clodfobble
I have three fortunes taped to my monitor from various times in the last 6 years or so:

"You are never bitter, deceptive, or petty."

"You love Chinese food."

"Pink will be your lucky color."

lucky color?! does anyone else have a"lucky color" I feel like I'm missing out. I've heard of lucky numbers, lucky socks, even lucky underwear, but lucky colors? how would that work?

What, you couldn't find a REAL picture of my big hairy ass?

Wish I had time to draw silly little pictures, and if I did they'd probably actually be good ;-)

yeah, well ......i'm at work.....shitty graphics program, drawn with a mouse, you get the point, right? etc....

i wasn't going to mention your hairy ass, but since you seem to be so proud of it......oh, nevermind.
......Packers fans. I mean, what do they pack anyway?

oh, nevermind, i found it:

Originally posted by lumberjim
lucky color?! does anyone else have a"lucky color" I feel like I'm missing out. I've heard of lucky numbers, lucky socks, even lucky underwear, but lucky colors? how would that work?

Colors resonate to certain energy frequencies, just like mystickal quartz crystals.

Some colors have a higher energy vibration, and therefore attract more luck radicals.

Other colors repel luck radicals.

As an example, consider the energy radiation of the color green. It repels luck radicals and this is why the Philadelphia Eagles can't win a SuperBowl if was handed to them on a silver platter.

Blue attracts luck radicals. Patriots, Rams, Cowboys, Broncos ... all of these teams have won the SuperBowl. Sometimes addition of colors which attract luck radicals can balance out or overpower the aggregate negative of luck radicals. Addition of Yellow to the Packers uniforms allowed them to storm to victory.

Blue+Yellow= Green....Wtf?

Originally posted by lumberjim
oh, nevermind, i found it:

*falling out of chair* Dayyyyummmmm!! :haha: