The 2004 1st annual Whale Penis Awards

Similar to the compliment thread, but with a wholesome dash of whale penis, and insult thread thrown in, this thread is all about the Whale Penis Awards, or WPA's. In the spirit of the Oscars and all of the other BS award shows out there, You may nominate anyone for a Whale Penis Award in any category you see below, or make one up your owndamnself.


Most Insightful WPA


Best Debator WPA


Best Thread WPA


Best Comedic Poster WPA


Best Dramatic Poster WPA


Best Flame Thrower WPA


Best Grammar WPA


Best Spelling WPA


Biggest Looney WPA


Most Annoying WPA


Most Ignorable WPA

I'd like to nominate myself for Most Annoying because of thread ideas like this one that i know are a bad idea, but do anyway.

I nominate hot_pastrami. He always makes me laugh.

Originally posted by lumberjim
I'd like to nominate myself for Most Annoying because of thread ideas like this one that i know are a bad idea, but do anyway.

I'd like to second that. Perhaps someone would care to third? Can a motion be "thirded?" Somebody else second it so I can try thirding it.

[size=1]*cough*[/size]

When someone tells me I'm funny (e.g. "He always makes me laugh"), I am immediately incapable of uttering anything humorous. It's my kryptonite. Weep for me.

I nominate the original Whale Penis thread.

Most Insightful WPA - lady sycamore/ undertoad tie


Best Comedic Poster WPA- lumberjim


Best Dramatic Poster WPA- myself


Best Flame Thrower WPA- lumberjim


Best Grammar WPA- griff


Best Spelling WPA- griff


Most Annoying WPA-wolf




i coudn't think of anyone for the other categories. maybe if i have a lot of spare time, i'll go through some old threads and revise my answers. LJ might win for best thread starter, too. it's easy to put LJ in a lot of categories, because he posts A LOT. i thought of him for most looney, too.

Originally posted by hot_pastrami

I'd like to second that. Perhaps someone would care to third? Can a motion be "thirded?" Somebody else second it so I can try thirding it.

[size=1]*cough*[/size]

When someone tells me I'm funny (e.g. "He always makes me laugh"), I am immediately incapable of uttering anything humorous. It's my kryptonite. Weep for me.

HP you should stop smoking. You've been coughing an awful lot lately. :)

Elspode

Originally posted by dar512


HP you should stop smoking. You've been coughing an awful lot lately. :)

[size=4][color=red]ding ding ding! we have a winner![/size][/color]

you caught him, dar512!

I bet Alan that he couldn't post *cough* 35 times in a row without getting called on it. I figured wolf or bruce would catch him.

this was his 33rd cough...took you long enough!
damn, i was sure i'd lost!

i just won $1! i plan to spend it on cheese

HP was getting concerned that he was starting to come off as a very sarcastic person, so I'd like it noted for the record that it was because of this bet, and he remains the fine upstanding, even keeled, nonsarcastic *cough* person he has always been. I'm just a bad influence.

[size=1]edit-spelling[/size]

Originally posted by lumberjim
i just won $1! i plan to spend it on cheese

Shouldn't you share with dar? He won it for you. I'd say you owe him at least a quarter.

Originally posted by SteveDallas

Shouldn't you share with dar? He won it for you. I'd say you owe him at least a quarter.

that would imply duplicity. I only shared the existence of the bet with jinx, and alan only with brigliadore.

I noticed the coughing. I thought maybe he had a persistent hairball.

Most Insightful WPA:
warch

Best Debator WPA:
radar

Best Thread WPA:
unselected

Best Comedic Poster WPA:
happy monkey

Best Dramatic Poster WPA
staceyv's husband

Best Flame Thrower WPA
wolf (for her poignancy)

Best Grammar WPA
I wouldn't know it if I saw it

Best Spelling WPA
perth

Biggest Looney WPA
me

Most Annoying WPA
lumberjim (sorry, man...just couldn't fit you in anywhere else :) )

Most Ignorable WPA
unselected

Originally posted by lumberjim


that would imply duplicity. I only shared the existence of the bet with jinx, and alan only with brigliadore.

And I'm a little pissed about that, I would have caught on WAY before 33 coughs. I think a lot of people must not read HP's posts or something.

Originally posted by lumberjim
this was his 33rd cough...took you long enough!
damn, i was sure i'd lost!

Poor Alan, so close.

Originally posted by jinx


And I'm a little pissed about that, I would have caught on WAY before 33 coughs. I think a lot of people must not read HP's posts or something.

Well, so many people have so many different mannerisms, who cares much? Haven't you noticed my over-use of smilies? :beer: :cool: :band: :typing: :worried:

Originally posted by case
Best Comedic Poster WPA:
happy monkey

:king: [SIZE=1](It's a Burger King crown)[/SIZE]

Most Insightful WPA- UT even though he's completely wrong on foreign policy :)

Best Debator WPA- tw when he's not drowning you in text

Best Thread WPA- we had an old one on property rights and thermal imaging... can't find her

Best Comedic Poster WPA- the new and improved qazah

Best Dramatic Poster WPA staceyv most drama per post

Best Flame Thrower WPA- Radar

Biggest Heart WPA- Bruce

Most Dangerous Woman WPA- Wolf

Hardest Hitting WPA- OC

Most Rural WPA- slang

Best Caveman WPA- Ogg

Most Musical Pagan WPA- Elspode

Least Annoying Democrat- warch but Syc is trying

Originally posted by jinx


And I'm a little pissed about that, I would have caught on WAY before 33 coughs. I think a lot of people must not read HP's posts or something.

I believe you would have, but I also know that you'd have been chicken to call him on it. I bet a few others like case are out there.

And I'm a little pissed about that, I would have caught on WAY before 33 coughs. I think a lot of people must not read HP's posts or something.

Personally, I assumed he was sick and was looking for sympathy. Or perhaps he was just "keepin' it real," giving his online persona a cold whenever he had one. Such things can be important to people--though obviously they have never watched Dave Chappelle's "When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong" or they would know the consequences of their actions.

And as far as the WPA nominations go... Though I haven't been around long enough to be reasonably considered for them this year, I hereby vow that I will summarily sweep next year's Best Grammar and Best Spelling awards.

I noticed him hacking and coughing, but I read it as just his usual pattern of posting-speech. It's what he does.

Back in the day (way before your time, jimmy me lad, I used to sign all my posts "'nuff said."

No reason, I just did.

EDIT TO ADD: Oh, and I thought it was a sly reference to the "turn your head and cough" part of the exam ....

case:

Most Annoying WPA
lumberjim (sorry, man...just couldn't fit you in anywhere else :) )

you didn;t have to fit me in.....

it's the semi colons, isn;t it?

Originally posted by lumberjim



I believe you would have, but I also know that you'd have been chicken to call him on it. I bet a few others like case are out there.

Nobody calls me chicken, Lumberjim, NOBODY. :D

Originally posted by wolf
I noticed him hacking and coughing, but I read it as just his usual pattern of posting-speech. It's what he does.

Back in the day (way before your time, jimmy me lad, I used to sign all my posts "'nuff said."

No reason, I just did.

that's what got me thinking abooot the bet, eh? cougar always purple, bruce always smilies....quazah always signed "quazah'


and i had noticed his *cough* s before....usually well used and appropriate, so i thought ....i wonder how long it would take people to catch on to it if he ALWAYS did it?

33 posts.

for my next trick, i will attempt to find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

Originally posted by case


Nobody calls me chicken, Lumberjim, NOBODY. :D

i was calling jinx chicken, case. i was saying there are more like you that noticed, but said nothing about it.


but, i will file "chicken" in your hot button file for future use. thanx

for my next trick, i will attempt to find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

3

I can't *wait* to see the trophy...

OH GODDAMIT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!

Originally posted by lumberjim



[size=4][color=red]ding ding ding! we have a winner![/size][/color]

you caught him, dar512!

I'd like to thank the academy, the director and all the little people ....

Originally posted by lumberjim



i was calling jinx chicken, case. i was saying there are more like you that noticed, but said nothing about it.


but, i will file "chicken" in your hot button file for future use. thanx

I am so glad I gave you the most annoying award. :)

Really, though, don't tell me you didn't get the movie reference there.

johnny dangerously......now i do

Originally posted by Griff
Least Annoying Democrat- warch but Syc is trying

Who the hell are you calling a Democrat, you asshole? :)

thank you?:)

I nominate Griff and Co. for a special WPA academy recognition for excellence in merging logs and ideology.

Originally posted by warch
thank you?:)

...merging logs and ideology.

My life in a bumper sticker.... or a tagli...

pm me for my address so you can send me my prize.

this'll work too.

Originally posted by case
Really, though, don't tell me you didn't get the movie reference there.

I thought it was Back to the Future III.

Originally posted by sycamore
Who the hell are you calling a Democrat, you asshole? :)

Watch out syc, the last time I ended up in one of those discussions, I got a stern warning and my thread was litter panned by an overzealous moderator. Whatever you do, don't mock-threaten to shoot him. Across an ocean.

Then the thread will mysteriously disappear a day or so later...

Fortunately, the moderator of this board has not begun deleting threads due to "negativity"...yet.

Originally posted by Elspode


I thought it was Back to the Future III.

Actually, it was the second one.

Originally posted by sycamore
Fortunately, the moderator of this board has not begun deleting threads due to "negativity"...yet.

UT knows that we hate each other already. And that we take personal responsibility for our actions. Not likely.

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Elspode


I thought it was Back to the Future III.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actually, it was the second one.

Dude, it was all three of them. That was the whole point.

ah, ya see? i was thinking of joe piscopo in Johnny Dangerously.

"don;t hang me on a hook. no one hangs me on a hook. My mom hung me on a hook once....once."

Specifically, I believe Marty only used that phrase ("Nobody calls me chicken {insert name here}, Nobody!") one time, and that was in BttF2, when he said it to Needles. Variations on the phrase appeared in all three ("Nobody calls me yellow"). I could be wrong. But I doubt it. I have a 2-year-old who loves those movies. If you've ever been parent to a 2-year-old who loves a certain movie, you know what I mean. :)

Originally posted by perth
Specifically, I believe Marty only used that phrase ("Nobody calls me chicken {insert name here}, Nobody!") one time, and that was in BttF2, when he said it to Needles. Variations on the phrase appeared in all three ("Nobody calls me yellow"). I could be wrong. But I doubt it. I have a 2-year-old who loves those movies. If you've ever been parent to a 2-year-old who loves a certain movie, you know what I mean. :)

You are correct. Thank Jamey for that.

Originally posted by case


Best Debator WPA:
radar

seconded