Foreplay, lets talk about it
Is it really necessary? What turns you on? I just tweaked my wifes toe bad when she started bugging me, I'm busy. I think she wants it.
Lets share please.
Just set the ashtray on her stomach, she'll know.:p
I'll just say yes, it's necessary, and leave it at that. :D
ladies love the courvosier.
Give her two aspirin and a glass of water.
Handing over my paycheck is the best foreplay!!
no need for all that crap. just say you want it and get the clothes off. foreplay's best when it's thrown in the middle.
NO WAY! 4play is the best bit! there is no main without the entree, or at least a pre-dinner drink is called for.
I read in trusty cleo that men can climax within 2 minits of being aroused, whereas it taken women 6 times that amount of time! think about it guys.. it has to be fair.
Foreplay, schmooreplay. The best sex is spontaneous. In an elevator.
And..... It's even better with a partner.
Originally posted by staceyv
no need for all that crap. just say you want it and get the clothes off. foreplay's best when it's thrown in the middle.
:confused: Then that would be "middelplay". ;)
Anyway, when done "properly", foreplay starts WAYYY before anyone disrobes or hits the bedroom. ;)
I'll leave you intellectual folk to figure that one out. *grins*
Isn't foreplay getting the other person in the mood?
Therefore, it starts when you first set eyes on them. "The Look" (hereby TM by me) gets the ball rolling in the right direction.
Originally posted by headsplice
Isn't foreplay getting the other person in the mood?
Yup!
Therefore, it starts when you first set eyes on them. "The Look" (hereby TM by me) gets the ball rolling in the right direction.
While I agree with "The Look"(tm), getting a person in the mood doesn't always require the other person to even be in sight. In other words, foreplay isn't just physical.
Years ago, I remember hearing a woman say that foreplay includes the anticipation of what's to come (no pun intended). She mentioned how some people respond to their partners calling them during the day (at work, at home, etc.), to "talk them up". This way, for the rest of the day, they are distracted by the thought of meeting up later on and...well you know. ;) Or, the partner sends something to their S.O., like flowers or balloons with a sexy note (plus, you'll be the envy of everyone at the office..hehe). Then, you have to really build it up: perhaps a romantic dinner, either at home or at your favorite place. Of course, dinner at home...closer to the bedroom. Then, you can..um..incorporate dessert into the physical foreplay. ;)
Of course, this isn't for everyone. If not, then you can always go to
AskMen.com
for a man's POV on physical foreplay (I actually found it to be a bit humorous, because it was so..."manly" written).
LOL, or you could go the route of "mind control":
TeleHypnosis ProThat askmen.com article was pretty interesting, and funny in places. Kind of like foreplay, I guess.
In talking about communication during foreplay, it mentioned asking your partner, "What are you thinking right now?" or "What would you like me to do?" How do you deal with always getting the same response, when the response is "I'm just thinking about what I can do for you", or "I want you to do whatever you like"?
I don't actually say it, of course, but what generally occurs to me at that point is, Hey, I've been telling you all of my secret fantasies and what turns me on for years, what I like, etc., and getting zero from you - it's like you either don't have any imagination when it comes to sex, or you're embarassed about having one.
She's not a prude, by any means, but when it comes to actually verbalizing her desires and intimate needs, it's like pulling teeth to get two words out of her.
All work and no play makes Tom a dull partner, be it 4, middle, or after play.
By the way, 4play doesn't necessarily mean beating around the bush, does it?
getting the clothes off IS foreplay. just saying you want it can be enough to get the ball(s) rolling.
No wonder you have problems with relationships.
Originally posted by wolf
No wonder you have problems with relationships.
Heh! ;)
I mean, taking off the clothes is fine and dandy...when you want that quickie, but what about the things that lead UP to that point?
"Slow and steady wins the race." Amen. :D
I like getting it, so I best like giving it......
my question is...why do women let us guys just roam in the dark about this (no pun intended)?
I asked my finace, when she seemed like she wanted more, what DOES she want me to do, she showed me and it's been better since....
YAY!
Later!
wolf, my problems in my relationship have nothing to do with sex! i think it's actually great for arsen that he doesn't have to jump through hoops to get laid. i mean, yeah, there's a place for foreplay, but what's wrong with him saying "i'm horny" and me saying "bang me now"?? our best foreplay is actually when i say no and i won't let him touch me and he has to chase me all over the house and talk me into it. he loves that, seriously...i just don't think it's necassary to make out for 20 minutes, have oral sex for 20 minutes and then get around to it. if it works out that way, sure, that's great, but it's not necessary, that's all i'm saying.
Cajun Foreplay...
"Hey, honey - you awake?!!"
I read in trusty cleo that men can climax within 2 minits of being aroused
pffttt!! I could beat that.
Originally posted by staceyv
wolf, my problems in my relationship have nothing to do with sex! i think it's actually great for arsen that he doesn't have to jump through hoops to get laid. i mean, yeah, there's a place for foreplay, but what's wrong with him saying "i'm horny" and me saying "bang me now"?? our best foreplay is actually when i say no and i won't let him touch me and he has to chase me all over the house and talk me into it. he loves that, seriously...i just don't think it's necassary to make out for 20 minutes, have oral sex for 20 minutes and then get around to it. if it works out that way, sure, that's great, but it's not necessary, that's all i'm saying.
Sure it's not necessary, but it does tend to bring variety into the mix. Now wait, I see somewhat of a contridiction here. You said that it's great that Arsen doesn't have to jump through hoops to have sex with you...and yet, you play the game of saying no, avoid his touch, and have him chase you around the house and talk you into it. :confused: :confused:
At time it's just a 'get those panties off, were going to town girl!' and I think me and my finace have a great roll then....
I mean when it's time and I fell like just getting her on her hands & knees for a good fuck, well she enjoys that as much as I do.
At other times though, she wants to go through the whole, you go down on me I'll go down on you thing and then get to it....either way, business is getting taken care of
ladysyc- i do both. sometimes i'm like "okay, let's go" and sometimes i make him work for it. variety, you know?
My favorite thing is to call up Dagney and tell her, "Saddle up the stove, hot mama, we're ridin the range tonight!" That seems to be sufficient.
Brian
Nobody eat at Brian's house.
is all well enough to get it going!
:doit:
Well enough for somebody who has balls.:D
I guess for those who are 'testicularly challeneged' some 'lip' work would due......:p :censored:
Hey I've got a blackbelt in tongue fu, and that has come in handy during the foreplay sessions. I can usually get a woman off at least 2 or 3 times before insertion. Then then I give her the best 3 minutes of her life. ;)
Seriously though my wife is strange. She is new at the sex thing and she was complaining because she was in pain. She said I was too big down there and she was too small and then complained I was taking too long to finish. How many women complain because their man's unit is too big and he's taking too long?
Now that I'm gone, my wife keeps calling me up on the phone telling me she's horny. Man that sucks. When she finally starts getting into it, I have to go and won't see her for a year!
She said I was too big down there and she was too small
*cough* unlikely. Not because one doubts your claims, but because procreation requires happy loving with a wide variety. Google for "vaginismus". Affects 2% of women.
I'd be happy if I had to worry about the foreplay or not issue, so those of you with the 'problem,' rejoice!
And good for you for not having to worry about it.....:confused: :violin:
She said I was too big down there and she was too small
I experienced this once with a boyfriend, and the guy wasn't terribly large--it was that he was too LONG. Basically kept bumping into my cervix, and I can tell you that hurts like a mofo. Try just slightly less deep penetration, and I bet the complaints stop immediately. ;)
"She said I was too big down there and she was too small and then complained I was taking too long to finish."
One of my friends divorced with her husband only because the sexual life with him was a nightmare. She had a lot of pain having sex with him. She visited a few doctors, but nothing was wrong. He was too big for her. Also, he didn’t want to admit it is a problem, and be gentle.
Actually I told her, "the more you do it, the less it hurts and the better it feels, so let's do lots of it" but she didn't buy it. She's new at it. I think things will be better if she just practices. But that's tough when you're 9,000 miles away for each other.
"the more you do it, the less it hurts and the better it feels, so let's do lots of it"
That's wrong:) I mean, that doesn't help as you think. If she has no medical reasons to have a pain during the sex, BOTH of you have to work on the problem trying different positions etc.
[COLOR=indigo]She can practice with a "toy", starting with small ones and moving to larger width, if that's the issue, or longer length, etc. My gyno recommended this for me. That way, when you get back together, it won't hurt, and she isn't as .. um.. tense.[/COLOR]
that's why i firmly believe in having sex before marriage- to make sure you're compatible in bed and you like it with that person. you have to take a car for a test drive before you buy it!
Originally posted by Radar
Actually I told her, "the more you do it, the less it hurts and the better it feels, so let's do lots of it" but she didn't buy it. She's new at it. I think things will be better if she just practices. But that's tough when you're 9,000 miles away for each other.
it might have something to do with her level of comfort during sex. which is completely different to being turned on. A woman can be really really turned on, with hours of foreplay and still be "tight" or "clenched up" internally because they might not feel comfortable for any reason (ppl can be like this and not even know that its happening)eg
with their body
with the sex
performance anxiety
with you (yes, even though your married)
nervous about the penetration
it may have only hurt once and the anticipation of it hurting again makes the internal walls tense up.
this can cause real pain, usually it starts off ok and starts hurting about 3 mins into the actual act, after that you would pay for him to stop!
the best thing for this can be just spending time not only trying to turn your wife on, but also trying to make her relax and feel safe and comfortable as well, and if you think it hurts her STOP, eventually she will mould to you and become much more comfortable and things will be better for both of you.
Technique is another possibility. There was one girl that I dated that loved a kind of side-to-side action during the act. Stirring the pot, so to speak. In my naivete, I figured every girl would like the same thing. Not so. The next girlfriend found pot-stirring painful, and wondered what the hell I was trying to do. She tried to tell me it was because I was too big, but that's just silly.
Reminds me of a throw-a-hot-dog-down-a-hallway moment I had in college. Intense makeout session, increasingly awesome foreplay, couldn't stand it anymore had to have it now.....then she's like, "are you in?"
As if. You coulda fit a Buick in there.
that's why i firmly believe in having sex before marriage- to make sure you're compatible in bed and you like it with that person. you have to take a car for a test drive before you buy it!
I used the test drive analogy with her, but she didn't get it. Her culture wouldn't allow it. And technique isn't the problem. I've got a lot of moves but she is very restrictive to one position. I try to back off a bit so I don't hurt her, but it's like that commercial where the boy asks the owl, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" and the owl licks it three times and then crunches it. I try to use half of it, but after awhile I can't take it anymore and start drilling for oil.
I've had a similar problem in the past with American girls, but in that case I wasn't "hurting" them so much, but I kept hitting something that would knock loose their period. I've had some girls say they weren't due for their period for another week or two but they started bleeding. I don't know if it's the shape, the length, etc. but it's been a pattern.
I think with my wife it was just that she was slightly nervous, new to sex, and eager to please, so she was tense. I've tried to get her to open up (not just physically) and relax. She just needs some practice and training.
I'm a giver. Even though it might take years of practice, I'm willing to do what it takes to help her train to be the chef in the kitchen and whore in the bedroom I've always wanted. ;)
LOL @ "throw-a-hot-dog-down-a-hallway moment"
That reminds me of my first time having sex. I was 17 and she was 15 but she had been around the block...hell she had been around the town. I swear I almost tripped and fell into it.
"I've had some girls say they weren't due for their period for another week or two but they started bleeding. I don't know if it's the shape, the length, etc. but it's been a pattern."
Well,you must be really big:)
I don't think so. I think I'm about average. I'm certainly not porn star material.
Well,if girls started bleeding after sex, that means you ARE big:) Or they were virgin:)
Or they lied ... avoidance without bruising the sensitive male ego.
I don't think so. Women can find another reason to avoide the sex
without bruising the sensitive male ego.:)
Even more,some women don't tell they have a pain untill it's too painful.
Lore sums it up nicely for me.
Originally posted by Sun_Sparkz
NO WAY! 4play is the best bit! there is no main without the entree, or at least a pre-dinner drink is called for.
I read in trusty cleo that men can climax within 2 minits of being aroused, whereas it taken women 6 times that amount of time! think about it guys.. it has to be fair.
I've heard this in various forms for years, but the Kinsey Institute report on Sexual Behavior in the Human Female disagrees. According to the Kinsey Institute, during masturbation women do not take longer ( ~2 minutes) than men do to reach climax. The difference is that A) men are sufficiently aroused to climax by the time that they start having sex and B) women are more easily distracted during sex.
Wasn't Kinsey in some of their conclusions due to bad data, though? I seem to remember hearing their conclusion on average length of the male member was most likely too high, but no one is willing to do that kind of study anymore, so it can't be disproven.
Originally posted by headsplice
Wasn't Kinsey in some of their conclusions due to bad data, though? I seem to remember hearing their conclusion on average length of the male member was most likely too high, but no one is willing to do that kind of study anymore, so it can't be disproven.
I did a brief check on Google, and didn't find anything on that. On the contray, I found
this on Wikipedia:
The only reliable penis-size studies commonly quoted in the literature are the Kinsey study, the UCSF study, and an Italian study, none of which even attempted to correlate size with race.
and
this somewhere else.
Kinsey found out the hard way that his detractors were numerous. Shortly after the Report was released, the National Research Council contracted the American Statistical Association to examine Kinsey's findings in detail. This study of Kinsey's methods took 6 years to complete, and by the time it was finished, much of the financial support for Kinsey's research had been lost. However, the ASA concluded that Kinsey had done some of the best work ever in his field.
Anyway, I feel that I have learned
a lot from the portion of that book that I have read so far.
As an extension of my previous post, one thing that the Kinsey Report mentions occasionally is that women are not psychologically stimulated nearly so easily as men are.
Apparently several 'moral conservative religious' groups have made it their goal to refute the data in the Kinsey reports.
Originally posted by Torrere
As an extension of my previous post ....
Is it just me, or does anyone else think this is funny in the context?:confused:
Originally posted by limey
Is it just me, or does anyone else think this is funny in the context?:confused:
this wasn't bad either:
Kinsey found out the hard way
Reminds me of a throw-a-hot-dog-down-a-hallway moment I had in college. Intense makeout session, increasingly awesome foreplay, couldn't stand it anymore had to have it now.....then she's like, "are you in?"
I have to ask, out of morbid curiosity what the hell you did? What do you say to that?
She can practice with a "toy", starting with small ones and moving to larger width, if that's the issue, or longer length, etc. My gyno recommended this for me. That way, when you get back together, it won't hurt, and she isn't as .. um.. tense.
That's good advice (speaking from experience here). The biggest problem is it becomes circular - she gets tense about it and can't stay in the mood, as soon as it comes time she gets tense, literally. Defusing that is bloody hard a takes time and patience.
re:hotdog/hallway.
I don't really remember what I said. I think we both kind of had a moment of blinding clarity that was kind of embarrassing for both of us. Sometimes you're just physically incompatible, and there's nothing wrong with either of you. But we stayed friends, and still had the occasional fling -- just no actual intercourse.
in my opinion i think foreplay is great. It gets ya in the mood ya know?
I guess everyone is different...but when me and my bf umm...yea...well we like to foreplay a lil bit....it spices things up :D
Originally posted by qtpatootie14
in my opinion i think foreplay is great. It gets ya in the mood ya know?
I guess everyone is different...but when me and my bf umm...yea...well we like to foreplay a lil bit....it spices things up :D
Good move, never race with a cold motor.
:)
Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Good move, never race with a cold motor.
:)
EXACTALLY!! You NEVER want to race with a cold motor...hehe
Where's the fun when u do that?? :)
Foreplay is abso-friggin-loutely required. And it's got to be good foreplay. None of that half-ass, indifferent, let's get to the main event stuff...
Sidhe
you're saying that you never like to just be taken? thrown over the arm of the couch and hammered? or tossed up on the kitchen table, your clothes torn off, and hair pulled?
or would that qualify as foreplay?
time and a place. variety is the spice of life
Well, now, that would depend on my mood. Sometimes straight-up jungle-fucking (for those who remember Stephanie Hodge) is a good thing, but for the most part, my excitement threshhold is too high for that to do it for me *shrug*. I guess I'm high-maintenence that way.
Sidhe
Originally posted by lumberjim
you're saying that you never like to just be taken? thrown over the arm of the couch and hammered? or tossed up on the kitchen table, your clothes torn off, and hair pulled?
or would that qualify as foreplay?
As sexy as hell as that all sounds, some of us aren't so...um..er...athletically inclined, if you will, to have porn-like sex, but what we
ARE able to do, does the job just fine, thanks! :D
throwing over the arm of the couch, hammering, throwing onto the table, ripping clothes off....UGH.....far to time consuming..
Morning sex..ya roll over, your both half naked and ya go to town....
:doit:
Later :rattat:
Originally posted by phillybilly
throwing over the arm of the couch, hammering, throwing onto the table, ripping clothes off....UGH.....far to time consuming..
Hrm...what was that movie with Michael Douglas where he bent his wife over the backend of the couch, lifted her skirt, ripped off her panties, and proceeded to jackhammer her from behind..was that Fatal Attraction?
Clothes were off, and the deed was done in less than 2 minutes tops (IIRC). :D
My second favourite subject!
Foreplay can be better than sex. Like so many things in this life - the build-up exceeds the event. Why do you think phrases like 'the thrill of the chase' enter our vernacular - it applies to foreplay too, and there is nothing more thrilling or exciting than Anticipation, and yes it deserves a capital 'A'. Which is not to detract from sex itself, because it is my best hobby and if I could do it all day every day I would. Someone said earlier that foreplay starts way before actual touching and I can't agree more. I also love the 'throw-me-against-the-wall-and-take-me-now' sex - but of course this is preceeded by foreplay of the non-physical kind, so those who deny the importance of foreplay should look a little closer at its definition.
Originally posted by Catwoman
I also love the 'throw-me-against-the-wall-and-take-me-now' sex - but of course this is preceeded by foreplay of the non-physical kind, so those who deny the importance of foreplay should look a little closer at its definition.
What type of non-physical foreplay are you talking about with the "throw-me-against-the-wall-and-take-me-now" sex?
I'm curious from a practical point of view. The guy is in the mood, his partner is watching "American Idol," he goes over to her and starts ripping her clothes off? Is that how it works?
It seems to me that if one person is in a state of being in the mood, and the other person is in the state of being oblivious and doing something else, there has to be a period of time that one has to change the other's state. Or is the "taking me now" the only time needed to get the other person in the right frame of mind?
Originally posted by ladysycamore
Hrm...what was that movie with Michael Douglas where he bent his wife over the backend of the couch, lifted her skirt, ripped off her panties, and proceeded to jackhammer her from behind..was that Fatal Attraction?
Clothes were off, and the deed was done in less than 2 minutes tops (IIRC). :D
I don't THINK she was his wife... anyway, she was played by Jeanne Tripplehorn. :yum:
I can't comment for other women, but 'oblivious' or 'not in the mood' for me are extremely transient states of mind and can be quickly transformed into 'very interested' or 'most definitely in the mood' by a simple look or touch... of course this depends on the partner - if you have a natural unhindered raw attraction to them you're generally on heat all the time anyway, so doesn't take much. For the more 'long-term' relationships, I agree it's all too easy to be distracted by serial bouts of trash-TV-watching-and-other-avoidance-tactics, but if you know what turns a partner on quickly, a 'red button' if you like, there's no reason why foreplay can't be fast and to the point, with no 'messin' around'.
Originally posted by Catwoman
I can't comment for other women, but 'oblivious' or 'not in the mood' for me are extremely transient states of mind and can be quickly transformed into 'very interested' or 'most definitely in the mood' by a simple look or touch... of course this depends on the partner - if you have a natural unhindered raw attraction to them you're generally on heat all the time anyway, so doesn't take much. For the more 'long-term' relationships, I agree it's all too easy to be distracted by serial bouts of trash-TV-watching-and-other-avoidance-tactics, but if you know what turns a partner on quickly, a 'red button' if you like, there's no reason why foreplay can't be fast and to the point, with no 'messin' around'.
Yeah, what she said!!
And yes, foreplay involves all the work done BEFORE sex. Anyone can just have sex (or just fucking for fucking's sake).
Man, I have *got* to check in on this thread more often...