What is YOUR favorite expletive?

This video is pretty damn funny, but is NOT safe for work (or for Mormons [size=1]*cough*[/size]) , at least not without headphones. Lots of naughty words. Here's the story behind the clip.

So, what is YOUR favorite expletive? I've always been partial to "Fuck" myself, but "Shit" has a very special place in my heart, too. And "Damn" is so damned reliable. Not to mention "Ass-insert noun here"... hmm... swear words are like my children, it feels wrong to pick a favorite. They're all wonderful in their own way.

You're right. There are a number of handy ones that apply to various sitiations. However, I usually find myself chaining them together, rather than just using one. Like four or five of them. :D I'll leave the specifics or variations as an exercise to the reader.

Quzah.

Originally posted by quzah
You're right. There are a number of handy ones that apply to various sitiations. However, I usually find myself chaining them together, rather than just using one. Like four or five of them. :D I'll leave the specifics or variations as an exercise to the reader.

Yes, combos are definitely the preferred delivery method. Multiple profanities with random nouns and adjectives added to taste:

"Christ on a cracker, this fuckweed is a slowass."

The "fuckweed" bit I picked up from my wife. She's such a bad influence. [size=1]*cough*[/size] Hi honey!

DUMBASS! Hands down.

I stopped saying goddamnit years ago out of respect for anyone within range, but it's still the first thing that pops into my head when I get REALLY pissed.

Pokeyfuck! when I'm driving.

I had a friend in high school that could string togethor so many cuss words in one sentence it was hilarious.

I grew up in the US Navy so I by nature am one foul mouthed son of a bitch. Not in public tho, again its a respect others thing. Plus it's just dumb sounding when you don't do it right. Take it from a pro.

...swear words are like my children, it feels wrong to pick a favorite.

Then I have twins: asspirate and assclown.

Yes Fuckweed is mine, Fuckstick is another one I use on occasion. I have a strange habit of combining the first swear word that pops in my head with the first non swear word to pop into my head. The result is some strange combos and often times a "what the fuck" look from my husband.

Any swear word that comes out of Janeane Garofolo's mouth is hilarious. She has the unique ability to make even words that aren't swear words sound like they are.

But personally, the phrase that I find most satisfying in most circumstances is "Fuck me!" Or, if extraordinarily provoked, "Fuck me blind!"

Originally posted by hot_pastrami
I've always been partial to "Fuck" myself, but.....

If I could just take this line out of context for a moment, .....I'd like to take this line out of context.

"Fuck" is definitely my favorite, but I've been a big fan of "fucking idiot" lately. Like this...

That Jimbo...what a fucking idiot.

1. Fuck(ing,er,head)
2. Balls
3. Bloody hell

[COLOR=indigo]I like "Fuck me Runnin'!!"[/COLOR]

Well there's expletives and then there's name-calling. My favorite name to call someone (who, trust me, richly deserves it) is "DumbFuck" - I got that from the Godfather when I was 11 or so)

When I, proverbially speaking, stub my toe, its hard to beat a carefully and slowly encunciated: Son-Of-A BITCH!.

But I carry around an entire duffel bag of expletives and sometimes have trouble deciding :-)

OC your fuck me runnin saying reminded me of something my mom always says. She says "fuck me purple" when she makes a mistake or injures her self in some way.
A few times I have thought about bringing up the gross factor with that saying but often times she is mad and so I choose to say nothing.

for events:FUHHHHHHHK
for persons, generally inaudible yet heartfelt: Fuck you, you fuckin fuck.

Don't you have to add an "eh" to the end of that in Minnesota, warchie?

Perth tends to use "fucktard" alot when he is driving. ("Get out of my way, fucktard!") I find the fuck combinations kind of funny. Once in a while a good "fuckity fuck" is in order.

Shit lips
shit back
cunt eyes
dumb cunt
cocksmoker
tool ( as in "you fucken tool" )

[QUOTE]
[B]Perth tends to use "fucktard" alot when he is driving.

Maybe this should be a seperate thread.But how do you respond when the going gets tough?Everybody is so quick with their finger.But to me that shows such a lack of originality or imagination.If I'm pissed enough,what I do is show my hand pushing up and down towards my groin as if to suggest....uh,never mind.

"Fucktard", as in "That guy just ran the light! What a fucktard!" has been a recent favorite.

Edit: On seeing Cases' post after having posted my own, I have to agree that this term works really well when behind the wheel and not in many other situations for some reason.

I've been getting a lot of milage out of "fuckwit," lately.

"Fuckin' A" is a clear fave.

and "Shitstorm" tends to be a real attention getter. You don't hear it a lot so it's nicely effective in the right context.

This is fun. It's like that questionnaire at the end of "Inside the Actor's Studio" on Bravo.

Used to be shit. Since I had kids, it is now dagnabbit. Yes, it's true, I curse like Yosemite Sam. ;)

All seriousness aside, you'd be surprised at how well this substitute works. There are times when you just have to say something or you'll explode. Dagnabbit, particularly if you stretch out the first syllable, works for me.

i like to insert "fucking" into the middle of a two or more syllable word. ex: i forgot to add the gra-fuckin-tuity to the check, what a great new year's fuckin eve, i have to work, etc.
but "shit" is just so versatile, i guess it's my favorite...shit can be a verb, noun, adjective, and more. it can stand alone or be combined with any number of words. it can replace a word you can't remember, it can be good, it can be bad. it's the shit.

Good point, the fucking "insertion" so to speak. Old friend of mine used to say "A T and fucking T", which for some reason I found totally hilarious.

It's, like, subtle. Plus it changes the meaning. If you say "I got a fucking Sony TV" it would seem like you were unhappy to get it. But you could say "I got myself a Sony Fuckin' TV" and by that you'd mean it was the greatest thing ever.

Originally posted by dar512
Used to be shit. Since I had kids, it is now dagnabbit. Yes, it's true, I curse like Yosemite Sam. ;)

Personally I'm a fan of Donald Duck's rantings. You just knew he was cursing up a blue streak. He's my hero.

Quzah.

Originally posted by quzah

Personally I'm a fan of Donald Duck's rantings. You just knew he was cursing up a blue streak. He's my hero.

Quzah.

The purpose of expletives, is to convey attitude or feeling. Donald did it best.:)

Varying degrees of agitation call for varying degrees of profanity.

In a minimum expletive situation, I tend to use "goddamn".

A more harsh situation brings out the usage of "son of a bitch".

Trying times cause me to say "shit".

Real traumatic occurances require me to invoke "fuck" in all of its permutations, up to and incluiding "motherfucker" and "fuck me running, goddamn son of a bitch shit!"

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

FUCKSHITDAMNPISSHELL

I have a friend who uses that same string, only with 'snotwhorebooger' thrown in.

My father, who i consider to be the authority on cussing, had a favorite:

usually bellowed in a red faced fit of rage, or agony after thumping his thumb with a hammer:

"Shit, Piss and Corruption!!"

That's actually rather eloquent, and makes you stop and think. Now I feel like I'm not cursing creatively enough.

Originally posted by lumberjim
My father, who i consider to be the authority on cussing, had a favorite:

usually bellowed in a red faced fit of rage, or agony after thumping his thumb with a hammer:

"Shit, Piss and Corruption!!"

That used to be pretty common, years ago. Another was "shitty-ass rat fuck piss damn bitch".

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
That used to be pretty common, years ago. Another was "shitty-ass rat fuck piss damn bitch".

sounds like a doo-wop song


i suspect that my dad's phrase came out of his time wrenching tanks in the army. probably dropped one of those 4' crescent wrenches on his toe

When I get really cussing mad, my cuss words tend to not make sense. I'll string them together, but incoherently, e.g. "fuckin shit-ass piece of fuck" is popular right now.

The cuss word for when I'm really not cussing is "fuckity-fuck fuck fuck"

Just remembered my wife says shitfingers when she gets real ticked, no idea where that came from.

Warch is from Minnesota? Wherebouts Warch? I'm about 45 minutes from the border, nice freezing, sleet, hail mush crap we're getting today, eh, hoser?

Originally posted by lumberjim
My father, who i consider to be the authority on cussing, had a favorite:

usually bellowed in a red faced fit of rage, or agony after thumping his thumb with a hammer:

"Shit, Piss and Corruption!!"

So the red-faced thing is genetic, eh?

[size=1]*cough*[/size]

yeah, baby, yeah!


i didnt have to follow that link to know which picture it was.

i am the mighty whitey. fear me

I just spent the fucking day in the Twin Cities, driving around in the fuckin slush shit. Fucking Rights Boys. :)

[mumble]Sasafrasarigarassa...[/mumble]

Early on when I was teaching in an elementary school I let a "shit" pop out. Let me rephrase...I let the word "shit" pop out. Not too loud. I dropped a box full of stuff or something. I just remember two wide-eyed girls in earshot- 9 year olds. I just put my finger to my mouth like a shhhhh with a wink, and they cracked up. Its hard to retrain your mouth to be G rated.

'Jesus tap dancing Christ AND 'What in blue fuck are you doing!'


The first, Thank yout o Eric Cartman, our good little piggy from South Park


The second I could have SWORN I heard someplace, but a friend of mine said his grandfather used to say it all the time when he was a kid and his grandpop was pissed off.....


Oh, ass goblin was a REAL close third.....

Originally posted by Brigliadore
OC your fuck me runnin saying reminded me of something my mom always says. She says "fuck me purple" when she makes a mistake or injures her self in some way.

Ahahahaha! The image that I got from that....LOL!!

Oh, this is a great thread. I honestly don't know if I have a favorite, but here are a few of my choice "cussin' out" words/phrases:

1) MotherFUCK! (said mostly out of sheer frustration)
2) Goddamn or goddamnit! (or, as in "da hood": GOTdamn!, as in "You must be out yo' GOTdamned mind!")
3) Shiiiiit! (pronounced like, "sheeeeeiiit")

I suppose those are my top 3. You have to actually hear me say #'s 2 and 3 to get the full effect. ;)

Combos:

1) Motherfuckingotdamn!
2) (inserting in the middle of a phrase): "Oh gotdamned well!" ~another one that's better when heard~

Here's one made up by a good friend of mine. She said she gets what she calls the "fuckshits" when she hurts herself. For instance, she banged her hand up against a car door, and immediately she starts muttering, "fuckshitfuckshitfuckshit!"

Funny ones:
Assfuck, assmunch, asshat (thanks Cellar!), assface.

Words that I use when around folks you know do not swear (like my entire family), or when you're just not sure:

1) Fudgebucket!
2) Dang!
3) son-of-a-baby! (any word with "b" will do)
4) Dangnabbit!
5) shoot!
6) shucks!
7) freakin' (as in "big freakin' deal!")

Originally posted by warch
Early on when I was teaching in an elementary school I let a "shit" pop out. Let me rephrase...I let the word "shit" pop out. Not too loud. I dropped a box full of stuff or something. I just remember two wide-eyed girls in earshot- 9 year olds. I just put my finger to my mouth like a shhhhh with a wink, and they cracked up. Its hard to retrain your mouth to be G rated.

Oh man. This reminded me of a time when I was about 12 years old. My friends and I were playing in the neighborhood, and for the life of me, I can't remember what happened to make me say this, but I came out of my face with, "Shit!" I immediately regretted it, and my hands shot up to my mouth. There were two older girls (twins, who were notorious for starting trouble) who heard me, and they decided that they were going to tell my father. I was practically begging them not to, as they proceded to march to my house around the other side of the block. Bear in mind, the majority of my friends grew up like I did: you just.did.not.swear/cuss, even out of earshot of grownups (and when we did, we would do that cup-your-hand-beside-your-mouth gesture and whisper, like we had a secret or something). Well, the twins approached my house JUST as my Dad was coming home from the grocery store. They quickly told him what happened, and they were just waiting for me to get the beat-down in front of the whole neighborhood. Instead, my Dad calmly asked me if it was true...I said yes (scared out of my mind!), and then he said, "Ok, well just don't do it again". (with the unspoken statement, "Or else the next time, you won't get so lucky"). Goddamn, I was happy as all hell that those whores didn't get their way! LMAO! :D

I've had the phrase "Christ on a cracker" appear in my inventory recently, but I don't know where it came from. There's also "Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket," but I knw where I picked that up.... damn astronauts. [size=1]*cough*[/size]

"Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ on a Crutch!!"

"Come Hell, high water, Hitler, or the Second Coming of Christ I'm still going to do this." (I actually stole that one from slang. It was so good, it has become part of my verbal repetoire. And "monkeyfucking around". Stole that one too ...)

"Sucks moosecock" is original me.

"Christ on a crutch" - yes, my roommate used to say that almost every morning interspersed with "bloody shit balls" when she couldn't find something she needed or some other minor irritatin surfaced. She was okay the rest of the day, but mornings were hell. Must have had something to do with blood sugar. I used to tell her that when she got married her husband was in for a hell of a shock - thinking she was demure and proper and then morning would come.....

"Sucks moosecock" is original me.

something you'd like to tell us about, wolf?

I didn't want to shock you by letting you know that I may, at some time in my life, have used such phrases as "afro-engineering."

So I went for the moose reference.

Originally posted by wolf
I didn't want to shock you by letting you know that I may, at some time in my life, have used such phrases as "afro-engineering."

So I went for the moose reference.

:haha: Afro-engineering!

These
look pretty engineered. :D

Those are scary.

Some of the original "African Engineering"

And those are quite beautiful and mysterious.

Funny story.

Many years ago, I worked for a company that designed rail/shipping computer systems. One of our clients was very concerned about customers using expletives as passwords, so they requested that we come up with a method of preventing certain words from being used as a password.

I don't think anyone took the project very seriously, so instead of parsing for 'bad words', someone created a table of any of the 'seven dirty words' and their derivatives, including combinations, that could fit into 8 characters and created a searchable table.

I wasn't there for the project, but I stumbled across the table doing maintenance. It had somewhere around two hundred entries.

Once in a while, I would look it up and refer to it if the situation warranted it.:censored:

P.S. No, I didn't save a f***g copy.

Not really an expeletive, but some people would say it when really pissed....

'rat shit..bat shit..dirty old twat..sixty-nine assholes tied in a knot...hurray....LIZARD SHIT.....FUCK!!


you would get a little louder toward the end, that is why I capitalized...


Yeah it worked for me:blunt:


but when all else fails, this never does.....:finger:

Later!

Originally posted by warch
for persons, generally inaudible yet heartfelt: Fuck you, you fuckin fuck.

Late to the conversation, But I always liked this variation:

Fuck you, you fuckin' fuckin' fuck fuck fuckball fuck.

Is that a lot of repetition? Yeah. But say it out loud, and thank me later. :)

Any of these would do.....

Here's a reference.

jerkstore
crap
shitforbrains
grassfucker
son of an infidel

horseshit. my absolute fave.

i get lazy and pronounce it "horshit."

I got bored, so I made this Random Expletive Insult Generator. Not safe for work, and definitely not safe for the tender of heart.

I quickly made the word lists based on my own extensive profanity collection, and some of the contributions here... and although I didn't spend the time to fill out the lists completely, there are still over 4.5 trillion unique insults that this thing can generate. Yowza.

If anybody has any fun suggestions for this thing, let me know.

unbelievable. you'll make "cool site of the day" if you're not careful.

the randomizer seems to favor the word "reprehensible"....but, i am really impressed with your ability. It's a good thing that you use your powers for good, and not evil.

That is truly astounding. Dildo-fungus has just become my new favorite word.

"you unimaginable, crappy cock-licker. "


yeah. I bookmarked it.

How much traffic can your server bear Alan?

Originally posted by Griff
How much traffic can your server bear Alan?

My site is hosted with a big hosting company (DreamHost), so the server can handle a huge load, but I do have bandwidth limitations to consider if you were thinking of Slashdotting or Farking the link... plus, it's still a work-in-progress at the moment.

From the "coincidence" department"

From Yahoo News
Cuss Words of the Stars Revealed!
Fri Mar 19, 4:35 PM ET
By Kimberly Potts

Seven-second delays, canceled TV appearances and a general crackdown on risqu content has been the name of the game for U.S. television since Janet Jackson (news) introduced her boob to the world during the Super Bowl.

But in the U.K., a controversial commercial is taking things in the opposite direction. The new Channel 4 ad, originally filmed to play in theaters, features a slew of TV stars--some British but most Yanks from such U.S. series as Scrubs, The O.C. and The Sopranos--answering the question, "What is your favorite expletive?"

And the answers...well, they'd make George Carlin proud.

A sampling:

The O.C.'s Adam Brody, Mischa Barton (news) and Peter Gallagher (news) all agree on the F-bomb.
So do The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn DiScala and Six Feet Under's Lauren Ambrose (news).
So do The Naked Chef Jamie Oliver and The Osbournes' Ozzy, Sharon and Jack.
So do Nip/Tuck star Julian McMahon (news) and The West Wing's John Spencer (news).
And then there's Scrubs funny guy Zach Braff (news). His favorite expletive is actually a string of naughty words that, for the sake of retaining our PG-13 vibe, we can only translate as "#@*&!, !*&@#$%%%, *&%#@, %$@**&%-licking %$#@@^&&!"

In short, Braff covered most of Carlin's infamous "seven words you can't say on television" and may have even thrown in a couple George forgot about.

The 90-second clip--which also features West Wing-ers Bradley Whitford (news) and Richard Schiff (news), The Sopranos' Drea de Matteo and Aida Turturro (news), Six Feet Under's Peter Krause (news) and Mathew St. Patrick (news), Scrubs stars Sarah Chalke (news) and Judy Reyes (news) and British TV host and comedian Graham Norton--is composed entirely of celebs uttering curse words, including %$@#!, ^%#$@ and, of course, %@#@#$.

If the ad, or "advert" as it's called in Britspeak, seems like one big excuse to show a bunch of TV stars being potty mouths, that's because showing a bunch of TV stars being potty mouths is exactly the point.

Channel 4 execs originally intended to showcase the ad in movie cinemas, accompanying Quentin Tarantino (news)'s Kill Bill: Vol. 2. But the Cinema Advertising Association (CAA), which oversees the "standards of cinema advertising" in England, rejected the spot, and Channel 4 began broadcasting it instead on FilmFour, the network's independent film channel.

"We can understand...why the CAA felt they had to turn it down. It does contain the highest number of expletives ever featured in an ad as far as we're aware," Channel 4 marketing honcho Bill Griffin told the Yorkshire Post. "We're delighted to be able to play it out on the FilmFour channel and confident hat it will be received by subscribers in the spirit in which it was intended."

Another spokesperson for Channel 4, which broadcasts British series as well as American-made shows like Friends, Sex and the City and Without a Trace, told the newspaper that the network had so far received "diddly squat" in the way of viewer complaints. But a U.K. media watchdog group leader is attacking the ad.

"I think this ad is disgraceful. Channel 4 should grow up; they are using it to generate controversy and publicity for a minority film channel," Mediawatch-uk director John Beyer told the Post. "This obscene language causes great offense and is calculated to cause controversy."

Duh. An ad created just to cause controversy? Consider this a story created just to give you an excuse to watch the controversial ad. Just point your browser to www.channel4.com/ads/index1.html and don't tell the FCC

I am truly disappointed. At one time bravotv.com had a list of everybody's answer's to the Pivot questionnaire from Inside The Actor's Studio, but that seems to have been taken down.

The above article reminded me of it.

Originally posted by hot_pastrami
IIf anybody has any fun suggestions for this thing, let me know.

Actually, I heard an excellent expletive used as a term of endearment at work, and I think that your generator is the perfect place for its use. How about adding the term "cunt blister"?