A Modest Proposal...

It has been brought to my attention that The Cellar is *only* in 18th place on Google hits for the phrase "Whale Penis". This is sad. In a community of fine minds and sick bastards, both living in peace and harmony, the fact that such an important niche is filled by some other web presence is intolerable, and must be changed.

Therefore, I would like to challenge all Cellarites to come up with an original, informative item on whale penises and post it here in this thread (or in another, if UT feels that this is too big of a waste of purpose for Cellar Comments and Suggestions).

I'd like to start this effort out by posting the following:

http://www.passiononline.co.uk/shop/product_info.php?cPath=69&products_id=1590

My favorite part about this is the picture, which clearly states below "click to enlarge".

Edit Addendum: You'll note that I said 'original' item...clearly, I didn't mean for this to apply to me, because it would infer the expenditure of some sort of effort...

Why on Earth would you *need* to enlarge a whale penis?

In a community of [COLOR=darkred]fine minds[/COLOR] and sick bastards

Speak for yourself, buddy. :3eye:

TAGLINE!!!!

"a community of fine minds and sick bastards"

Originally posted by Elspode

I'd like to start this effort out by posting the following:

http://www.passiononline.co.uk/shop/product_info.php?cPath=69&products_id=1590

Access denied

Proxy server = callisto
Time & Date = 1076146761; Sat Feb 7 10:39:21 2004
Client address = 172.16.20.197
Client group = RMA-all
URL = http://www.passiononline.co.uk/shop/product_info.php?cPath
Target class = porn


Yeah thank you! Now I'm classified over here!!!

Hey, you're only risking your life over there, Pi...why should you enjoy any of the freedoms you're sworn to protect?

In case you were wondering, it was a latex dildo alleged to resemble a whale penis.

I will endeavor to warn you about possible webfilterable content in the future, though.

It's hard to guess what will be caught by a filter.

I have several totally innocuous sites that I visit regularly that get blocked by our office netnanny ... and others that I have a hard time believing get though.

I think at least one of them gets blocked because the site author uses correct grammar, long words, and low-key colors.

imagine the plight of the poor whale
with a 12 foot penis and no hands
in jerking off they're destined to fail
no wonder they beach themselves on dry land

It isn't working... we've moved DOWN, and now we're 19th!

but you're now 7th for "the cellar"

Eh, I'd go with "a community of sick minds and fine bastards."

Now we're down to 20th...come on you bastards, help make the whale penis campaign a success!

Does it take something more than just constant repetition of whale penis in a variety of contexts to get advanced in the list?

What's the actual secret of success here?

Google explained.

Hmmm...we might need to rethink this. UT, you should consider buying the words to advertise Cellar on Google.

It said down the bottom that you can't buy a higher page rank ... but I guess the door is open for outright bribery ...

That's already done.

Originally posted by sycamore
Google explained.

Hmmm...we might need to rethink this. UT, you should consider buying the words to advertise Cellar on Google.

The PayPal tip jar is a the bottom of the home page.:)

Wolf, you can't buy a higher rank, but you can buy AdWords.

In order to get us ranked higher, you'd have to link to the whale penis thread from lots of other popular sites.

We're back up to #19.

I wonder if, how many people choose the Cellar link, from a whale penis search, would matter in the ranking?

A Modest Proposal . . .

Darn. I thought this thread was going to be about eating children. Yum.

Originally posted by sycamore
We're back up to #19.

Dude...don't you sleep?

I added a link to the Cellar for "whale penis" on my own web page.

Originally posted by Elspode
Dude...don't you sleep?

I didn't Sunday night...just couldn't fall asleep. It made for an interesting Monday at work.

#2!!!

Google's complex, automated methods make human tampering with our results extremely difficult.

[color=indigo]LIES![/color]

Behold, the orca whale penis.

http://www.furcen.org/~zetatoys/orca.html

Wow, if mine was ceramic I'd weigh 38 pounds.;)

If you look closely at the 'ground' around the orca peepee, it appears someone has been too free with their willy.

Originally posted by mrnoodle
If you look closely at the 'ground' around the orca peepee, it appears someone has been too free with their willy.

ya know, white whale penis jokes aside, i don't understand how so many at least semi-intelligent people can latch onto a whale penis trend and just ride it, ride it, ride it.

Because once you've ridden the whale penis, you'll never go back, honey.

Ah, Jeez...and I thought the comment in Syc's late Whale Penis thread was disturbing...now, I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep.

Too excited?;)

Originally posted by wolf
Because once you've ridden the whale penis, you'll never go back, honey.

i cant decide whether to laugh out loud, get the vapors, or demand to know where i can find one of those.

In light of wolf's comment can we merge this with the 'pain threshold' thread and continue cellar's tradition of top class informative political discussion?

Originally posted by darclauz


i cant decide whether to laugh out loud, get the vapors, or demand to know where i can find one of those.

All three, just reverse the order.:D

Where there's Whale Penis.....


There's usually a little Whale Tail :)

As long as we're talking about whale tails...

Look more like wail tails.