I have named your stairs

If you don't have any in your home, tough.

From the entrance level, stairs that go up shall be named thusly:

1: Potato
2: Duck
3: Musketeer
4: Skin
5: Alive
6: Sex
7: Down
8: Snowman
9: Cat
10: Der
11: Legs
12: Eggs
13: monster

...And stairs that go down.....

1: Day
2: Laxative
3: Imelda
4: Tune
5: Vwls
6: T9
7: Reflex
8: Infinite
9: No
10: Boris
11: Oneteen
12: Poodles
13: Hand Basket

If you have 14+ stairs in any one flight, you are weird and live in a lighthouse and all remaining stairs are called Bob. Except for that one.

You've solved my problem before I recognized it.

This checks out. I know a guy who used to work in this field.

Griff;1055431 wrote:

You've solved my problem before I recognized it.

You don't wait for a cut before buying a bandaid, good to have this information in your bug-out bag. :thumb:

That's a much better stairs naming scheme than mine which bears only a slight resemblance to yours:

1: Potato
2: Potato
3: Potato
4:
5: Potato
6: Potato
7: Potato
More...

sexobon;1055466 wrote:

That's a much better stairs naming scheme than mine which bears only a slight resemblance to yours:

1: Potato
2: Potato
3: Potato
4:
5: Potato
6: Potato
7: Potato
More...

Jeez. I think I spent too much time on reddit; I tried to upvote this.


:facepalm:

footfootfoot;1055469 wrote:

Jeez. I think I spent too much time on reddit; I tried to upvote this.


:facepalm:

your stairs are special:

1) Potatoetoetoe
2) DuckDuckGoose
3) Foot
4) Skinskinskinskin
5) ToesToesToes
6)
7) DownDownGetOnDown
8) Snowwoman
9) Miaownoevil
10) DerDerDer
11) LegLegLeg
12) FuckFuckFuck
13) Be Afraid

How can stairs be more than one syllable?

Well, some of our stairs were not built by expert craftspeople such as yourself. Some identify as more than one syllable. Some are old. Some are so good one needs to linger on them or the memory of them lingers. Some dream of a life in politics. Some are in rooms that create echoes. And some are in The Southern States of the USA, where nothing has only one syllable.

monster;1055573 wrote:

And some are in The Southern States of the USA, where nothing has only one syllable.

Ayup.

...for those folks, I have renamed your Stayers.

monster;1055573 wrote:

Well, some of our stairs were not built by expert craftspeople such as yourself. Some identify as more than one syllable. Some are old. Some are so good one needs to linger on them or the memory of them lingers. Some dream of a life in politics. Some are in rooms that create echoes. And some are in The Southern States of the USA, where nothing has only one syllable.

Clodfobble;1055574 wrote:

Ayup.

Y'all need to work up a stand-up routine.

But did you hear the tragic story of the lighthouse keeper who ran up the stairs too fast and screwed himself into the ceiling? ;)

(Posting from a stair free zone BTW).

WTF is all this about?


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Stares.

limey;1055595 wrote:

WTF is all this about?


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I haven't a clue!

Let's change the subject before it escalates.

limey;1055595 wrote:

WTF is all this about?


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It's crazy talk.

If I didn't know monster was a sane person, I'd think she was a crazy one.


And unless I see a picture of monster's stairs with those names painted on them, I will continue to think that it's just the result of a new strain of weed and an idle mind.

I don't name inanimate things. I'll name a plant, but that's about the extent of it.

Some folks name their cars. I find it pedantic. In not opposed to giving a car a title..... Something that starts with 'the'... The Road Beast, or The Sloth.... as it keeps things general enough so as not to be anthropomorphistic. Once you call a car Sylvester or Beula, you'll deal with guilt when you trade him or her in.

But yeah. This is just bullshit talk.

Don't worry.

Those are the names of YOUR stairs, not mine. If I told you THEIR names I'd have to kill you like a hobo on 9/11

beest named the "blue raspberry" Honda Fit Buxton (some Magic Roundabout reference...). Now that's Hebe's car and she referred to it as Buxton the other day, which made me smile. :)

The first car I really drove regularly was my Nana's red Renault 5 -very popular in the UK in the late 80s. I stole someone's joke (?maybe Ben Elton) to name it Clitoris.

My best friend in high school named her car Bertha, but that was because it actually talked to her in a chiding woman's voice. Like instead of a warning ding, it would say "right door is open," or "key is in the ignition." It had several other 1970s pseudo-luxuries that were hilarious for two teens in the nineties.

From the Ministry Of Silly Walks we bring you: The Ministry of Silly Thoughts!