It does. And will.
But you don't. You will take this thing and spit in its face and stomp on its attempts to hurt you. The battle is long, but my money's on you.
It's so hard, I know. My divorce felt like a death and not just of him. It impacts EVERYTHING. I can still feel what that dark fog felt like. I wish you sunshine soon.
I sympathise. Ever since my folks passed last summer, I've been slogging through all manner of fuckery trying to get all their accounts/memberships/etc., settled, closed, paid, reimbursed, renamed, re-addressed, and any other frickity-frickin' stupid thing you can think of (and a million more you wouldn't come up with).
Living in the aftermath does officially suck.
Word to the wise: do everything you possibly can right now to get your shit lined up and prepared for whomever follows you. Handling the minutiae of someone else's life is never easy (fuck bureaucracy and red tape!), but the more you can do now, the better. :(
{{monster}}
that is all.
Yes. It does. But you will get through it. But fuckit, it certainly sucks right now. X
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Sorry monster
You're right, it really sucks.
and crash...... this is so stupid. I loved the movie Ghost (who didn't). Unchained Melody was one of the songs at our wedding. That neato priest I found on Youtube singing Every body hurts carried on autoplaying in the background into two contestants singing the same song I had never heard of before but the lyrics caught my attention.
It's from the musical of Ghost (didn't even know there was one). This is how I feel. I keep finding things of his and deal with them like he was still here. Because. I don't know. It's not like I haven't thrown stuff of his away. but most is still here
[YOUTUBE]VHQ0FmUtS0E[/YOUTUBE]
Sorry, buddy. The shock is wearing off. The permanace sets in. I can't offer any useful advice because I haven't gone through what you're going through. Wish I could, glad I can't.
Only thing I can say is sorry. Wish I could offer a hug....
and crash...... I keep finding things of his and deal with them like he was still here. Because. I don't know. It's not like I haven't thrown stuff of his away. but most is still here
Keep the stuff you want to keep. Get rid of the stuff you want to get rid of. If you have any doubts keep it for now. It's a long, l-o-o-o-ng process, I'm afraid. When we'd just lost my brother there were all sorts of things we just couldn't imagine getting rid of because well, just because (and we didn't even live with him and his stuff at the time). As time passed we have begun to feel we can let some of it go, but some still stays. Is used. Or just looked at now and again.
Hugs to you xxx
It sucks HARD. Like smashing your face into a solid slab of concrete. It's that immovable. My advice is, learn to enjoy having your face smashed into a solid slab of concrete. It's not working for me, but I don't have any better ideas.
Keep the stuff you want to keep. Get rid of the stuff you want to get rid of. If you have any doubts keep it for now. It's a long, l-o-o-o-ng process, I'm afraid. When we'd just lost my brother there were all sorts of things we just couldn't imagine getting rid of because well, just because (and we didn't even live with him and his stuff at the time). As time passed we have begun to feel we can let some of it go, but some still stays. Is used. Or just looked at now and again.
Hugs to you xxx
Yeah, I'm just doing it as I can be bothered/the mood takes me. But I occasionally find myself just dealing with things as if he'll use them again rather than deciding whether I want to toss it now or leave it for another day.
I miss him.
... But I occasionally find myself just dealing with things as if he'll use them again rather than deciding whether I want to toss it now or leave it for another day.
But that's fine. You can't keep on making big decisions about this stuff all the time. Just putting things away without deciding anything is also good.
I miss him.
Yes. x
Oh Monster. I am so sorry to hear this. Virtual hugs sent your way.
The fates are cruel.
The fates are cruel.
They are and savagely so.
Easy for me to say, I know, but try not to second guess your decisions about things like this. What you need to be doing, is what you are doing at any given moment. Sometimes that means not making a decision and that's ok too. It takes what it takes.
Be kind to yourself hon.
OK, I'm sure this is TMI and way too maudlin, but I need to tell someone, I'mm'a hope it's like telling about the monster under the bed...
I knew there would be dreams. But I thought they would be dreams about him still being here and alive and then I'd wake and be disappointed. but they are not.
They're just realistic flashbacks of the whole horrible thing. So much so that I avoid going to bed in the hope I'll get too little sleep to reach dream phase.
I know, don't worry, I'll deal with it. That's how much I used to get anyway, but I had been getting a little better..... it's just a relapse. I do get some sleep. I'm off to bed RFN. and it's um ....well not midnight yet.
I hope those ones fade soon. Was last night ok?
Sorry, monster. I've been in the conscious/subconscious desire-to-avoid-sleep boat before myself. I hope it gets better soon.
That's awful, Monster. Do you have some old home movies or old letters you could go through before you go to bed? Seems like it would be somewhat better to remember the good times.