Apr 11th, 2017: Orchidaceae

xoxoxoBruce • Apr 11, 2017 12:21 am

The Orchidaceae are a diverse and widespread family of flowering plants, with blooms that are often colorful and often
fragrant, commonly known as the orchid family.

Along with the Asteraceae, they are one of the two largest families of flowering plants. The Orchidaceae have about 28,000 currently accepted species, distributed in about 763 genera. The determination of which family is larger is still under debate, because verified data on the members of such enormous families are continually in flux.

Regardless, the number of orchid species nearly equals the number of bony fishes and is more than twice the number of bird species, and about four times the number of mammal species. The family also encompasses about 6–11% of all seed plants. The largest genera are Bulbophyllum (2,000 species), Epidendrum (1,500 species), Dendrobium (1,400 species) and Pleurothallis (1,000 species).

Orchids are easily distinguished from other plants, as they share some very evident, shared derived characteristics, or "apomorphies". Among these are: bilateral symmetry of the flower (zygomorphism), many resupinate flowers, a nearly always highly modified petal (labellum), fused stamens and carpels, and extremely small seeds.

What Really Happened.

Henry, I’m tired of trekking through these swamps and jungles, classifying plants.
I say, Nigel, look at this strange flower.
An Orchid… I miss my wife.
Nigel what about this one?
A damn Orchid… I want to go home.
Look at this strange flower, Nigel.
It's a fucking Orchid… Pack up, we’re leaving.

link

Clodfobble • Apr 11, 2017 12:51 am

I think they're aliens, practicing their Earth aesthetics before they choose their final form.

Snakeadelic • Apr 11, 2017 9:06 am

quoting: "distributed in about 763 genera"

One of those genera, seriously, is Dracula. 118 species' worth, in fact, and you've got a D. simia in the lineup. That'd be the monkey orchid. The genus is, in fact, named for the literary character despite being exclusively New World (North, Central, & South America) plant. Many are dark red to black and have assorted fang-like projections on the blooms.

That's most of my orchid knowledge condensed right there. :) Guess I like my life sciences a little friskier than the floral side.

footfootfoot • Apr 11, 2017 10:07 am

The NYBG has an annual orchid show, I've been several times and sat through a few fascinating talks about orchids. One of the things the docent said about orchids is that they are spread out world wide despite requiring exactingly specific conditions in which to germinate. As such, each orchid produces about a hijillion seeds (think about vanilla bean pods and all those tiny flecks. Those are seeds)

The docent said something like, if 1% of orchid seeds germinated the earth would be buried in orchids 100 feet deep. Something crazy like that. My depth may be off, but whatever it was, I remember it was way above our heads.

xoxoxoBruce • Apr 11, 2017 10:11 am

You're probably not off. With 4 times the number of mammal species, and a shitload of each species, making gadzillion seeds.

BigV • Apr 11, 2017 10:32 am

"OMG! How many is a Brazilian?"

Diaphone Jim • Apr 11, 2017 2:53 pm

Those are neat. Gives pareidolia a good name.

I find the use of the "o" word in surgery disturbing.

xoxoxoBruce • Apr 11, 2017 2:57 pm

Do you mean The Orchid House Surgery?

Flint • Apr 11, 2017 4:04 pm

Clodfobble;986563 wrote:
I think they're aliens, practicing their Earth aesthetics before they choose their final form.

BigV • Apr 11, 2017 10:41 pm

Diaphone Jim;986615 wrote:
Those are neat. Gives pareidolia a good name.

I find the use of the "o" word in surgery disturbing.

Avoid Dead Ringers.

spoiler alert at the link.

footfootfoot • Apr 13, 2017 11:00 am

Dead Ringers is a great film. If you go for Horror as metaphor - Cronenberg's specialty.

I just remembered an orchid that resembles a certain type of bee hovering over a stalk of grass. The male bee sees the orchid and thinks it is a receptive female bee. The male then fucks the orchid and gets pollen all over his junk, he then goes on an orchid-fucking rampage, pollinating as he does.

That might be the only example I would recognize as evidence of there being a god who created everything. Or at least those bees and orchids.