Cellar Fantasy football 2016
2016cellarff.league.fantasy.nfl.com
Draft day is August 28th
please check in here if you're returning, and set up your pre draft rankings on nfl.com
If any new folks want to join, request an invite here, and if you currently have a team, but don't want to do it this year, let me know asap so I can replace you.
Are You Ready for Some Football?
The glatt house just had its draft and at first I was all conflicted that I got Tom Brady. I mean, I dislike him, but he does rack up the points. Then I looked more closely and realized/remembered that the cheater is suspended for the first four games. Dick.
I'll do it this year if you need teams
I can't this year. Sorry.
it's on your fucket list?
syc, you want her spot? promise not to disappear half way through the season again?
I didn't disappear last time...you forget to update a week or two and you're suddenly all MIA and shit...
Try a week or 10. I'll put you in, but you start on report and work your way off. ;)
not sure if your email is still what I have in my gmail, but I sent an invite.
I guess you could just log in and claim the empty spot. pw is whalepenis
I'm in and I already forget what to do. Do I have to participate in a draft or does it just happen?
Yeh, too much weed and age has affected my memory.
If you just let it happen you'll end up with a bunch of NE Cheatriots.
Just learn from history and select all former Eagles players. They will all kick ass this year.
Ey look, Christmas came early! I got Cam Newton, Russell Wilson, JJ Watt and Zack Ertz. Just what I wanted!
I also got a box full of RBs with one leg! But if you add up all the legs... nah, still ain't got shit!
What did you get?
A cheater who is sitting out half the season.
Looks like I got a whole lotta nuttin'. Did you guys actively draft or did it just happen like for me?
I got the last pick. I think I get that every year. My grade is a C.
Who the fuck are these guys I got? I got Dez, at least. I always hate my team at first
Last place before we even start.
It says I'm going to finish just above you...I think I have a pretty good team though.
Word. Up. Suck. It. Bitches.
The only part where it's wrong is where it suggests that I trade away one of my good quarterbacks to "upgrade at other spots." Uh, no, I took them because I wanted them, not because I wanted to trade them away for someone who makes 1/4 the fantasy points.
In all seriousness, can anyone explain to me why the general advice is always to put an RB in the flex position? That shit is insane. Quarterbacks get more points than anyone. I am genuinely baffled as to why you're not supposed to put a QB in the flex position.
In our league, the qb scores more. Standard leagues are weighted to RB
Word. Up. Suck. It. Bitches.
The only part where it's wrong is where it suggests that I trade away one of my good quarterbacks to "upgrade at other spots." Uh, no, I took them because I wanted them, not because I wanted to trade them away for someone who makes 1/4 the fantasy points.
LOL
Yeah, uh. Anybody have any quarterbacks they want to trade away? I could use two.
In our league, the qb scores more. Standard leagues are weighted to RB
Why are we nonstandard? I'm perfectly happy being nonstandard, I'm just curious.
I like higher scoring games. It's been like that for 4 or 5 years now. We also have more players than the standard league.
My team as currently constructed might be pretty bad.
My team completely sucks. I want a mulligan.
As an Irishman. I can honestly tell you you don't want a Mulligan. A Jefferson or a Jackson would be better. /race
I'm dumb and getting dumber. When is our first game?
THIS THURSDAY!!! 8:30 EST
Broncos v Panthers
Soooooooo close! Great game Glatt!
Who are the Merriam Teasippers? I'm up against them this week.
And we will defeat you and eat your soul...with gravy.
My soul will give you diarrhea.
Burn!
Toad on the other hand will boil.
Guru says glatt will trounce me. We shall see.....
Slowly getting back into the real world. I haven't checked fantasy since Sunday. I must have won last week?
Gotta check my team and make sure everyone is active.
I have RB Chris Ivory and he went out of action last week with an emergency hospitalization. He had gone to the ER. After two days, he left the hospital; he's still rehabbing but figures he will surely be back next week.
His injury went listed as "undisclosed".
In the NFL, every little thing is disclosed, and there's no way he would be hospitalized without league officials knowing all about it. Everything game-related is fully detailed and annouced. There were no hints from anywhere, so there was wild speculation in Jaguar fan forums about what it could possibly be.
Had to be something that was A) a true medical emergency, B) required two days of hospitalization, C) would be fine after a few days of rehab and D) would be too personal to reveal.
They decided that the most likely ailment was a
testicular torsion.
And that's why I like being in fantasy football. I find out things like this.
And now, I have to speculate on the condition of my running back's balls.Now YOU'RE speculating about the condition of his balls
That's quite generous of them, assuming a genital and not a mental or substance problem.
He's out this week
That's what she said.
Team set to auto-pilot, weekend away. Please don't get hurt at practice dudes.
Chris Ivory says he's ready to go.
His balls must be OK
Ivory is playing, but is given limited snaps and he's not getting much done.
Maybe his balls aren't 100%
I need 17.7 points to win ... I have one player playing.
Mark Ingram Saints RB. Odds are not in my favor, but it should be fun to watch anyway.
I lost to griff. Was supposed to win. The goats went offffff.
The Goats we didn't expect to go off went off.
Everyone checking for late scratches? Apparently Chris Ivory's balls went through full workouts this week, but I still don't trust them.
Anyone want a lightly used Josh Gordon? Maybe after re-hab and possibly another suspension?
(as the entire league looks over their receiver corps)
uh..... nahhhh... i think... i think we're good... maybe the Raiders?
I'd like a reliable RB & maybe a WR. Anyone got some extras?
Everyone checking for late scratches? Apparently Chris Ivory's balls went through full workouts this week, but I still don't trust them.
I have Chris ivorys balls in my other league. They are still twisted I guess.
Wait, who was scratching Chris Ivory's balls?
Tony scratched them. I played them. I wish i had listened to Tony
I'm going to scratch his balls until they produce.
I'd like a reliable RB & maybe a WR. Anyone got some extras?
Ha! The things you say.
I came in here to poke LJ about how, with my 120-point lead, there was no need for him to wait until Monday to bow in deference to me... but then I realized that he has three players left to play tonight, and one of them is Eli Manning, so actually I'll shut my mouth and wait patiently to see what happens.
I will probably lose in all 3 leagues this week. It's ok. Cowboys beat the 2 teams I hate the most in back to back weeks. I'm happy
You'll have a win next week too, Capabaras - as of right now, my QBs are all out, with a bye, a concussion protocol, and a bad thumb. And I'm last on waivers so there are no good options.
You'll have a win next week too, Capabaras - as of right now, my QBs are all out, with a bye, a concussion protocol, and a bad thumb. And I'm last on waivers so there are no good options.
I'd like a reliable RB & maybe a WR. Anyone got some extras?
I'm 2-2 in both my leagues...I'm overall pleased with both teams. Though I think half my starting lineup in my other league is a potential injury scratch.
I think I'm screwed. Missed that my QB was not playing or something. That might hurt a bit. lol
Yeah I had to do some drop/adds and shuffle the lineup but it looks ok.
Whoops ... my defense is on a Bye as well - lol.
Happy Birthday Jim.
What in the hell???? How is that even possible, Jim?
my whole team came up mediocre, and you had a couple guys go off. I exceeded my projection, but you crushed yours with 2 slots tied behind your back.
I'm having a rough go of it this season so far. don't even care. Cowboys are 1st place in the division at 4-1.
So do you guys use a d20 system, or do you prefer the 3d6 spread?
You'll be gratified to know, Flint, that I am on a 5-game winning streak this year, despite not watching a single minute of a single football game in about a decade. Not even the Super Bowls.
It's 3D6 to determine the success of a pass, over a simple table lookup and there is usually a 1d4 saving throw for the covering player depending on their DEX and INT.
yabbut. If your WR has dex over 80, you get the REF roll and a chance of PI
fags
The best fantasy football. Too bad it's the wrong football, but there's really nothing in the world like this game.
You'll be gratified to know, Flint, that I am on a 5-game winning streak this year, despite not watching a single minute of a single football game in about a decade. Not even the Super Bowls.
I saw this a minute ago...what the hell is this fuckery?! :)
Leads the league. She's like the Vikings
non-fantasy football observation from a fan of my home team, Seattle Seahawks.
The Seahawks have the number one ranked defense (fourth year in a row, wooT!). The Atlanta Falcons, who we play here on Sunday have the number one ranked offense. Top offense vs top defense. The pleasant symmetry continues on other side of the ball for both teams, ranked 27th, respectively.
What do you think? When Atlanta has the ball, it's power against power. When Seattle has the ball it's weakness against ineptitude. Or something. The intangibles that I believe are in Seattle's favor, it's a home game for us. Century Link Field is *notoriously* loud, earthquake-level loud. Advantage-Seattle. And the weather is supposed to be pretty shitty, rainy and very, very windy. I would think that favors the defense, which of course, they both must play.
It promises to be an exciting game.
Exciting? Like 9 to 6 exciting? Zzzzzzzz
17-0 at the half, Seattle leading. Atlanta's offense: 86 yards.
GO HAWKS!
yeah, I was dead wrong on that one. not a snoozer at all. you just never know
Many congrats to the Ruff Riders for breaking my winning streak.
[size=1]Vengeance will be mine.[/size]
Thanks for the beat down Forktards!
Sorry Griff. Didn't know it happened till just now. Been a little distracted.
If anyone likes the look of Chris Ivory's balls, they can be snatched on the bench right now.
You're saying you scratched them?
I was just scratching them every week, now I've decided they will never produce anything and I've left them dangling.
You cut them off, you mean. You've castrated them.
Yup, I'm tired of them in my face. I don't think he's got anything left in the sack.
Just remembered there is football. I was frantically switching players around right up to the deadline. 75% of my team has byes this week. Oh well.
I was looking at that, just before you got to it. Noticed that you had 86.10 points on the board from Thursday and were expected to lose :D nice save
Man, it's a nailbiter here against Carmen's Hot Wife, but I think CHW's going to pull ahead to win. Broncos defense is good, but I doubt they're good enough to maintain a lead when CHW's got three players left to finish.
I love it how you've come along with this, clobble. From your first season where you picked players with goofy names, to 9-2 and making all the right roster moves each week.
This week, the Ruff Riders and I face off for the division lead. I was ready to give up on the season after an abysmal start, but have battled back. Also rooting for the Goats to keep the Toads at bey.
Its getting interesting
I'm trying to keep it interesting after a terrible start.
I still haven't watched a single game since we started this. Caught about 5 minutes of the Redskins/Cowboys as my uncle was watching it on DVR during Thanksgiving. I told him I had a Redskins guy on my fantasy team right now, but I couldn't remember who it was. It's nothing but data. I love data.
Weeks like this, it doesn't even seem fair though. I mean, Kirk Cousins got me 114 points and his team didn't even win? That's poorly-balanced mechanics.
regular season winner: Clodfobble's Capybaras
nice work.
You've earned a Bye this week, along with Amanda's Chasers
here's the Championship playoff bracket:
[ATTACH]58761[/ATTACH]
There ARE games for those of you that missed the playoffs. see the consolation bracket
REMINDER:
The Championship is split over weeks 16&17 of the regular season. So, the total of two games head to head.
Toads, you won't have to worry about that. You're going down, broseph.
I expect I will actually! The collapse was legendary this year, 3 losses in a row and I only squeeked by, 9 points over to get a W out of the last game against the Riders.
there's some trash talk for ya
rather unsatisfying season
always need a top WR to win this thing
but but my team just got going! :(
I just need 5.6 points from Mitchell. Or the Ravens D to give up more points. I want the Ravens to win, but they're just about fucked at this point.
Dammit. Just as I said that, the pats turn the ball over twice in 14 seconds. Now I need 11
I'm glad the Ravens lost but will not reference that other team.
Shit balls. 7.5 points. Good game toads.
there was never any doubt
Good season. This one was fun! Good luck to all who remain.
*chuckles* I got a bye in the consolation bracket? That's fantastic...
You'll be gratified to know, Flint, that I am on a 5-game winning streak this year, despite not watching a single minute of a single football game in about a decade. Not even the Super Bowls.
Awesome! This proves that football is dumb.
No... This proves that you have a very small penis.
boom was the sound of the explosives detonating
FINALS my team RALLIED to get back! 6th seed exceeding all odds and expectations! It's AWN Capybaras!
Amanda was hoping Cam would implode.... Good game Ute. Now we have to root for you to go all the way so we can say we lost to the best
I do not require your rooting. I am ready.
Down to the wire!
UT 3 points ahead, with his Ravens defense yet to play vs. my kicker and wide receiver. Website predicts 16.6 total for me and 9 for him, which, when you factor in his 3-point lead and the general unreliability of the prediction algorithm, means everyone's fingertips are going to be bloody after this nail-biter.
(Maybe I should have a side career as a color commentator. That metaphor is downright visceral.)
One thing is sure, Russell Wilson kicked Drew Brees' ass this week, utterly and completely. Excellent game, Toads!
No hang on it's a two-week outcome this one
Two weeks? TWO WEEKS?!!!
Okay. Sounds good.
My best receiver went on IR. His replacement only gets about 2-3 catches a game these days. Gonna take a miracle.
My team will all be sitting the last week to avoid injury...
My bench is a little bit beaten up.
But I've entirely re-jiggered the team. Let's do this
Football players trade money for health.
That's a long season of abuse.
I always think of hockey as the tough guy sport but somehow they manage 82 games a year and Jaromír Jágr plays at 44 years of age...
Two weeks? TWO WEEKS?!!!
Yes but you do have to set your team for the second week
...unless you want those gimp RBs to play
Crap, they were both just "limited practice" last time I checked. Problem is I only have one RB that isn't gimped, and nobody in the free agent pool comes close. Oh well, I went with the gimp that the popup window said was most likely to play. Drew Brees will make them all irrelevant.
And so he did. Congrats CF, excellent year!
Thanks! Same to everyone else!
[ATTACH]59016[/ATTACH]
Congrats, Clobble!
You won the Golden Crab Claw, the trophy that looks like a pill, and not one but two Product Placement awards!