Sundae?

Wondering how your mum's chemo is going?

Thank for asking.

Mum is having trouble sleeping, but is generally tired.
Below is are two (very slightly) edited emails from her.

She started losing her her on Boxing Day, and had her head shaved about a week after, rather than have it go in a patchy fashion.
It also meant the wig could be fitted properly.

Typical Mum, most of her emails are about the four other people she knows who are going through the mill (cancer, cancer, cancer leukemia.)
She's avoided the nausea so far, which I am very pleased about.
She doesn't deal with vomiting quite as badly as I do - being all tidy and efficient like my sister - but no-one really enjoys driving the porcelain truck after all. And nausea without even the spurious relief of vomiting as in some ways even worse.

I think she's doing okay, as opposed to just putting a brave face on things.
I tend to know when she's doing that.
Have wanted to beg, borrow or - okay, maybe not steal - a ticket to get down to see her.
But in truth that's probably more my needs than hers, so I've held off.

Anything in quote boxes is Mum.

16 January:

Maureen came for lunch today and thanked you for her card. I spoke to P [male friend] in the week for ages, then D his wife] took over the phone. He is well and off his fortified milk now and eating better. He said you are a treasure and thanks you for his latest card. D says he feels a fraud now having us both send cards to him as he is not ill. I hope that did come from him and not her.....I will probably stop sending them now. Perhaps one more to warn him. I address him as Baldy 1 and sign out Baldy 2.

15 January:

Saw my gorgeous oncologist today. He is pleased with me.
He was wanting to put me on another chemo drug for my 4th, 5th and 6th sessions. Told me it would make me more tired and I might lose my finger nails!!!
Started typing all the info on to his computer to produce a letter for me and one for my GP when he suddenly stopped.
He said “I keep forgetting how old you are. You look so young. This is not suitable for anyone over 65”.
So I am back on Fec 75 and feeling good about myself after his comments.
Fecking chemo.

I seem to have one dreadful night then one good night’s sleep. Forgot to ask Dr.E after he was praising me. He put me right off.
D reckons it is the chemo causing it.

Some wonderful news in the last hour. J [one of "the girls"] was at The Churchill today to see a team of oncologists. It was make or break for her really. They were not very hopeful last time they met up.
BUT they have found a bone marrow donor in Germany. She has to have chest Xrays next week then a stay [in Stoke Mandeville Hospital] for a week of tests, then two lots of chemo then by March will have a bone marrow transplant. She really thought it was her last Christmas as she is so ill.

I told her “us girls” must make a weekend trip to a German Beer Festival in the summer to celebrate. Better than going to London for a day.

So how often does she have to go? And is the sleeplessness all the time? The nausea meds they give with chemo thee days are very good. But that could be what is affecting her sleep. Some anti-nausea drugs are steroids which can lead to wakefulness. Did she tell the docs about the difficulty sleeping? If not, she should -bodies need sleep to heal and they might be able to do something simple to help. Best wishes to her

The dates were messed about a little by the Christmas/ New Year period, but it seems to be once a month.

She can sleep sometimes. In fact I'll often get an email in celebration of the fact. But like me, she's always had issues sleeping - and Dad snores. Well before all of this began, she'd spend nights on the sofa or up in the dining room (on the futon.) Since Dad has had more falls she doesn't like to be out of the room as much. But she's a worrier, and it may be as much mental as physical. I will pass on what you've said about steroids though.

Talked to Mum last night. She said she'd been intending to bring up the sleeping issues with the oncologist, but was disarmed by his compliment and handsomeness!

I suggested she wrote her concerns down next time because he won't get any less handsome (dirty girl!)
Weirdly, she said, "I don't think you'd find him handsome. Too short for you." So it appears I am sizeist. After we finished the call I couldn't hold back a big belly laugh. I was picturing Peter Dinklage on a little ladder examining my Mum's boobs.

So it turns out I really am sizeist. And inappropriate.

I'm glad to hear she's doing well. I've heard about NHS cuts and wondered about the level of care in Britain. Pundits here in the US seem to believe national health care leads to hospitals resembling Somali refugee camps.

She sounds like a fighter. I never had a chance to really speak with her, but please pass along my best wishes.