Cellar Fantasy Football 2015

2015cellarff.league.fantasy.nfl.com

Draft day is August 23rd

please check in here if you're returning, and set up your pre draft rankings on nfl.com

If any new folks want to join, request an invite here, and if you currently have a team, but don't want to do it this year, let me know asap so I can replace you.

Are You Ready for Some Football?????!!!

check

I'm in again.

I'm on board. This whole week is absolute shit for me though, remind me again to fix my draft next Monday.

lumberjim;935264 wrote:

If any new folks want to join, request an invite here,

Pretty sure the Goats vaginitus has cleared up, I hereby request a slot if available.

Join Here: http://fantasy.nfl.com/registration/privateleaguejoin?leagueId=445717
League ID: 445717
League Password: whalepenis

I'll do it again ... What do I need to do EXACTLY? I have a TON of shit going on in multiple arenas of my life. This will hopefully be a pleasant distraction from the suck that is the rest of my life.

Just log in again. your team awaits

Done

2 days to the draft. You all ready?

Draft will happen overnight. Check your team in the morning. Good luck this year, e'erbody.

thanky hoping for a competitive season!

it's on like tony orlando and dawn

Yeah. If I do nothing, the computer picks a team for me, right?

Yup

So despite the projections I think Goats are gonna crush. Rothlesberger and Shady McCoy should put some up. Flacco should be good as well. I'm sitting on Joe Randle if anybody is light at RB and wants to give up a WR.

I decided to take over the Eagles from Blue Curacao. I actually don't believe that I asked for Ryan Matthews at RB. The automatic draft picked him for me. Obviously I was hoping for DeMarco. It doesn't matter. Chip's offense is going to put up numbers and I will only lose the bye week and to the Ruff Riders who have DeMarco.

Undertoad;936915 wrote:

I decided to take over the Eagles from Blue Curacao. I actually don't believe that I asked for Ryan Matthews at RB. The automatic draft picked him for me. Obviously I was hoping for DeMarco. It doesn't matter. Chip's offense is going to put up numbers and I will only lose the bye week and to the Ruff Riders who have DeMarco.

[ATTACH]53131[/ATTACH]

I beg to differ

Griff;936907 wrote:

So despite the projections I think Goats are gonna crush. Rothlesberger and Shady McCoy should put some up. Flacco should be good as well. I'm sitting on Joe Randle if anybody is light at RB and wants to give up a WR.

I'll give you Anquan Boldin or Mike Wallace for him?

lumberjim;936960 wrote:

I beg to differ

go right ahead and depend on the advice of the NFL Fantasy gurus

they are always correct in these types of matters

I'm just saying, your eggs are all in one suspect basket.

It's true, just like the Eagles, the fate of my team this year rests on one man's tattered ACL

lumberjim;936961 wrote:

I'll give you Anquan Boldin or Mike Wallace for him?

Thinking on it... Boldin would be the guy.

Ok, I've proposed that trade. You just need to accept. Look for an alert symbol.

Done deal.

Ok. Good luck with him. I never liked that guy. I'm thinking Randle will edge McFadden for the starting role. I just hope he can behave himself off the field this year.

Yeah it looks like Randle has the nod. Boldin is a dick but will run up the score once in a while.

I need everything. Who's got what?

We start tonight Class. Set your lineup.

Getting a lot of Patriot propaganda on the bacefook, protest too much much?

http://espn.go.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/13533995/split-nfl-new-england-patriots-apart

Griff;938493 wrote:

Getting a lot of Patriot propaganda on the bacefook, protest too much much?

Yeah, me too.

woot!

Go Helmets!

Swapping dog murderer in for rapist...

you gotta do what you gotta do. In the other league I'm in, the other players have firmly rejected the cheater, so I picked him up.

My team is mostly Eagles. (That has not worked out so far.) If the game on Sunday is postponed due to hurricane warnings, how will my points be distributed?

My team sucks, I could play every player and still not come close to beating anyone. I'll be the rag doll everyone gets to beat up this year.

I think it goes without saying that we all appreciate it, classic. Thanks for taking one for the team. :D

Undertoad;940488 wrote:

My team is mostly Eagles. (That has not worked out so far.) If the game on Sunday is postponed due to hurricane warnings, how will my points be distributed?

if your team is too yellow to play in a little rain, you get nothing.

Vick with the key block. Should get points for that

All I saw was the over-time period. The Steelers desperately need a kicker.

NFL.COM wrote:

Two undefeated teams meet in Week 5 as 1st-place The Helmets (4-0, 868.40) goes up against 3rd-place Goats (4-0, 824.20). According to recent projections, it could be up for grabs, with The Helmets favored to win by 9.70 points.
Neither team will see action tonight. All of the other matchups around the league crank up tonight.
The Helmets has a noticeable advantage at the RB position, where Joseph Randle and T.J. Yeldon are projected to outscore Darren McFadden and Darren Sproles, 32.10 - 19.80. The Helmets has six players (including Brandon Weeden and Russell Wilson) facing a top-10-ranked defense this week. Goats has two starters (Darren McFadden and Joe Flacco) going up against a top-10 defense and two (Anquan Boldin and Keenan Allen) against a defense ranked in the bottom 10.
The Helmets made one pickup since Tuesday, adding Christine Michael (3.10 projected points) while dropping Lance Dunbar (0.00 projected points). They've also made some changes to their lineup, starting Travis Benjamin (11.90 projected points) and T.J. Yeldon (16.40 projected points) while benching Cole Beasley (14.60 projected points). They might be interested in picking up the Kansas City Chiefs DEF (15.80 projected points) to start over the Dallas Cowboys DEF (6.60 projected points).
Meanwhile, Goats made one pickup, adding Gary Barnidge (13.70 projected points) while dropping Darrius Heyward-Bey (7.60 projected points). They've also made some lineup changes, starting Darren McFadden (3.90 projected points) and Martavis Bryant (13.10 projected points) while benching Eric Ebron (15.60 projected points), Karlos Williams (11.30 projected points), and Brandon Marshall (bye). They might want to think about picking up DeAndre Levy (22.70 projected points) to start over Lawrence Timmons (17.90 projected points).
CHECK BACK ON FRIDAY FOR A MATCHUP UPDATE

good luck pappy

I probably should have taken into account that Andre Johnson would go off against his old team. He had been almost as washed up as Roddy white.... 25 pts and counting.... On my bench. Cock.

Big bench days are the worst. Most of my bench is broken though. Are you ready to rumble?!!!!!!!!!!

Whose ass am I kicking this weak? lol

rough start, eh?

I just did a Chip Kelly and swapped about 5 players from my starting roster. I dumped the starters & players on IR. I got a shot this week, damnit!

That's how we roll!

WTF? The damn thing didn't register my new defensive team nor player. I lost because of it. Good Job Griffster.

I've got three guys left to get 3pts to catch Jim. Strange outcome considering the numbers he's been putting up.

I did the worst job I've done all year.... So many points on my bench. Over thought it I think.

classicman;941661 wrote:

WTF? The damn thing didn't register my new defensive team nor player. I lost because of it. Good Job Griffster.

You have to put the new signed players into starting slots. It doesn't automatically put them into the place of the player you released when you signed them. If I had noticed, I would have told you.

Well it put the three other new players in those/their slots automatically...

I think you could still sign and start the steelers defense and win the match up

I guess, but that seems like a dick move though - especially since I didn't think of it.

Plus, it's the steelers. Bad karma right there. ;)

And thanks for having ethics.

I struggled with telling you, since you're playing my girlfriend... But.... I had to be honest. You made a mistake not starting your d. You could correct it. I don't think it's a dick move.

You went with your heart, I think. Weeden is kind of like my Vick situation, he has a lot of weapons the regular qb knows how to use. As a fan you want to believe he can just step up...

Thanks Infi.

Yeh, I hear ya Jim, but this is just for fun and its not that I'm winning anything this year with my team anyway. I made some major changes and we'll see what happens going forward.

I'm 4-1 in both my leagues. Pretty sure I'll be 4-2 in both on Tuesday. Dallas and the Rams have a bye. My running back situation is grim.

Ha, look at mine. I got "didn't participate & questionable" or "bye" from which to choose

My injury report is slowly turning around. I'll have to avoid looking at the fantasy for the rest of the day so I can enjoy the tivo later...

Holy shit, practically my entire team is on a Bye this week.

But right now I'm second in the league! This has never happened before. I'm not going to lie, you guys have made this important to me over the years because you are important to me, and I genuinely want to win.

Resistance is futile

I won a game. My season is now complete.

See, set those expectations low enough... :)

I had a nice run for six weeks getting very lucky with replacements for injuries but I do believe my duct tape lineup win streak is about to end. I took a few fliers this week hoping to catch a bit of luck, but I think Ruff Riders are going to put up serious points.

I think it would be nice to have a second q-back who actually gets to play, let alone a third in a line of 'good.'

That's what I get for missing the draft, I suppose. I got saddled with Brady which gave me a giant "haaahahahhaaaaaaaa" when he was allowed to play but I have no one else.

3-4 q-backs on a team seems a bit much. But hey, I'm hanging in there despite a shit team and no reliable comp time (by hanging in I mean I'm not in last place like I expected...so I'll take it.) :fingerx:

I just let the computer choose my team for me. Only the one QB, but many of my other players are pretty good for their position, and I'm winning more than I'm losing, so it's a strategy that seems to work.

What will you do for his bye week?

Lose, I'm assuming.

#ZING

Oh snap!

:lol:

You guys suck. ;)

glatt;942840 wrote:

I just let the computer choose my team for me. Only the one QB, but many of my other players are pretty good for their position, and I'm winning more than I'm losing, so it's a strategy that seems to work.

So I'm an idiot. I somehow forgot the second QB I had. I have Cousins and Cam Newton. Bye weeks are still a pain because it still leaves a slot open with only two guys.

you guys DO know that you can sign free agents throughout the year to fill in on bye weeks, right? and if a starter gets hurt, the backup is usually available. In our league, you have 2 slots that will accept a QB, and QBs score more than any other player, so you really should have 2 GOOD qbs and a 3rd to fill in. try to make sure that both your qb's arent on bye at the same week.

I'm facing The Farting Toads this week...and he's favored by 40+. Fuck it. I'm going Cowboy up, and will defeat him. I will exceed projections by 20%. Oh yes, I will. Ooorah

lumberjim;942869 wrote:

you guys DO know that you can sign free agents throughout the year to fill in on bye weeks, right? and if a starter gets hurt, the backup is usually available. In our league, you have 2 slots that will accept a QB, and QBs score more than any other player, so you really should have 2 GOOD qbs and a 3rd to fill in. try to make sure that both your qb's arent on bye at the same week.

or even offer a trade from a depth position...

I'm gonna bet on some cowboy mojo this week. I'll lose my bet though.

They've ranked several of my players too high, including def Luke Kuechly who is playing the Eagles and if he has a good game my Eagles players don't. Of course there's a good chance that Bradford throws him an INT in the endzone after going 90 yards with the ball, so both make good numbers...

TRASH TALKING: UR DOIN IT RONG

The Eagles are six games in, the team is 3 and 3 and has looked terrible. But during this period, Bradford has been shaking off the cobwebs of years of inactivity. The o-line has had a little time to figure out how this is going to come together. And until a few short moments during the last two games, there hasn't been that weird Chip Kelly speed game offense. It just wasn't showing up. They ran plays quick, but not lightning quick.

My theory is, Kelly is still crazy like a fox. He's going to kick this team into another gear yet.

The Monday Night game. Third quarter. The offense started to find itself; and then they ran a series of plays, where they first misdirected left and ran corner right, then misdirected right and ran corner left. And I'm like - aha. These plays are not designed to gain yardage. These plays are designed to make the other team's defense sprint hard for 20 seconds, then get 20 seconds rest, then sprint hard for another 20 seconds. Do that at the beginning of a drive, in the third quarter when everyone's a little tired. Then get the second and third play off so fast, the defense can't make substitutions. Then run in Sproles and let him crank off a 25 yard gain, because nobody is interested in sprinting after him.

So I think Bradford is going to start cranking out some big numbers. And I think his TE Ertz is the right target to start getting some of these catches.

The Eagles will go 13 and 3 and win the Super Bowl. I will win every week from here on out except for the Eagles' BYE week and I will win the cellar15 League Champion trophy.






howzat

lumberjim;942869 wrote:

you guys DO know that you can sign free agents throughout the year to fill in on bye weeks, right? and if a starter gets hurt, the backup is usually available. In our league, you have 2 slots that will accept a QB, and QBs score more than any other player, so you really should have 2 GOOD qbs and a 3rd to fill in. try to make sure that both your qb's arent on bye at the same week.

Gotta have a dream. ;)

If the offense finds itself Darren Sproles loses all fantasy value, correct?

Big lead for glatt as of last night.

headline: Colin Kaepernick: San Francisco 49ers Quarterback Hits Trainer in Face With Errant Pass During Game

Kaepernick looked terrible. He seems to be getting worse. I'd have benched him at half time last night.

I may have a qb to trade. :)

I've got 3 QB's, but no idea how to trade.

As for the draft, I thought we all auto drafted! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu no wonder some of you actually have TEAMS. Cock!

Well, with only Carson Palmer to play I am up by 39 pts. I'm NOT feeling it.
Go P-Zone817, you can do it.

I'll trade Alex Smith if anyone is interested.

classicman;943328 wrote:

Well, with only Carson Palmer to play I am up by 39 pts. I'm NOT feeling it.
Go P-Zone817, you can do it.

[youtube]ceAHvIZIdVo&start=15[/youtube]

This is Carmen Pizzo (P-Zone) all the way on the left in the last scene, or center at 15sec.

classicman;943329 wrote:

I'll trade Alex Smith if anyone is interested.

Go to "my team" and click "trading block" that will give you a field to edit your proposed trades, I think.

classicman;943329 wrote:

I'll trade Alex Smith if anyone is interested.

What are you looking for in return, classic? another QB? Stafford and Smith have a bye week 9. AND Lynch and Tate that week too.

<<--- No idea what he is doing.

I know not of what you speak. What is this?

I thought I'd say I was willing to talk if someone wanted to make an offer.

Set your lineups!

Oh, it's down to the wire! Me vs. Carmen's Hot Wife (I don't even know who this is...)

I'm down by just 1.3 points, and we both have one player left to play tonight! On CHW's side, a middling but solidly reliable quarterback. On my side... a tight end who might not even see field time.

Some might say my loss is inevitable. But I choose to believe, dammit.

[COLOR=White]_____[/COLOR]I must break you.
[COLOR=White]___ ______[/COLOR]\

She will crush your team with her unusually powerful Vagina
[COLOR=White]______ _ _ _[/COLOR]/

And look again, clob, He has Phillip Rivers. Your Tight End is an elite player in his role, but Rivers is a QB1. You never know what will happen.... He could get nicked and come out early, or the Bears might smell his menstruations and shut him down... Thing is, if Rivers stays in, every point Gates gets will come on passes thrown to him by your opponent.... TL;DNR: You're probably gonna lose this one. Sorry.

Oh, dude, I know. No way a TE beats a QB. When I say I believe, I mean with wavy jazz hands and sparkles in the air.

As crap as my team has been doing this year, I'm still in first place in my division. I've done a horrid job prognosticating... Guys that should kill it, based on the match up, are either getting injured or just shitting the bed.... Very much like the Cowboys' season. Here's hoping we both make the playoffs and get our heads out of our asses in time to finish respectably.

I was just thinking back, I know for sure I was pregnant the very first time I attempted this with you guys. Was it the first kid (2005) or the second (2007)? Is it possible this is really the eleventh year of the Cellar fantasy football league? Even if it's only the ninth, Christ Almighty...

I love it when a plan comes together

That's quite a run.


The injuries seem over the top this year. I'm scraping for replacements every week.

Last week I just gave up. Too many players with byes. Not sure how that happened, but I wasn't going to give up half my team of good players so I can switch in replacements and hope nobody grabs my good players while they are available.

But at least with last week out of the way I can get back on track again this week.

Wow - EXACTLY what Griff & glatt just said. I mailed it in last week.
This week, however, looks like all the preceding - hopeless due to lack of talent.

It's upset week for Mr. Griff as this is the point in the season where I turn things around. His QB will just be handing off to my RB, against the worst run defense in the lig. And the Eagles are playing Miami, and Bradford should get 4 TDs out of this and blah blah blah blah

Williams was a monster last week. I'm just trying to play the qb who'll actually be under center at this point. Looks like Jones.

Ute, the Iggles are gonna run run run this week. Sam will have less than 200 yards passing. Unless they commit turn overs early and have to play from behind.

yeah but still

Griff;945458 wrote:

I'm just trying to play the qb who'll actually be under center at this point. Looks like Jones.

o mi god

wut a dam mess i made outa this game

~ and yet you are on track to win it ~

Its completely up in the air.

~ alrighty then ~

When you leave as many points on the bench as on the field, you don't really expect to win.

Damn, it was down to less than four points. Good game, Chasers!

Tooth and nail with Classic!

Whew. I'm all alone third from worst

Only one more week of regulation... Playoffs begin in week 14. My division is mired in a 4 way tie at 6-6, so this week is really a playoff game. Griff is a lock, glatt is too... Everything else will be decided this week. Make sure your team is set up by Thursday!

Also, I could teach Roger Goodell a thing or two about managing league parity....

Bravo. Now do something about the officiating...

Troop! Get a running back suited up, yours is in street clothes.

[youtube]s2R2sH2ScBM[/youtube]

Well, yes!

Congrats, Griff. You've won the regular season trophy and hold the first seed and a bye this week. Glatt will also rest his team.

The 4th seed Helmets will have a rematch of week 13s game against The Grossly Incandescent. 3rd seeded Austin Capybaras face the 5th seed Chasers.

Consolation round matches P-zone against the Toads and Troop v. Forktard.

Good luck e'erybodeh!

I think this is the first time in ten years that I have been in the playoffs. I am legitimately excited.

Congrats all!

ETA - Oh wait I just read that I'm somehow in the playoffs????
How the heck did that happen? My team has sucked all year.

I realized that there are 2 teams on Bye for the consolation bracket as well. Carmen's Hot Wife and the River rats will play the winners of this week's consolation bracket games next week.

Clodfobble;947868 wrote:

I think this is the first time in ten years that I have been in the playoffs. I am legitimately excited.

You're my 4th favorite! Go Capybaras!

If you think I'm paying hundreds for tickets, and buying $10 beers, to make you guys richer, you're nuts.

Solid win for Capybaras. Congrats!

Thankfully the Steelers have turned things around even as the Goats pull up lame, so football still matters. :)

OMG I'm in the playoffs! All the credit goes to our Lord and Savior, obviously. (Because all the other teams are in league with Satan.)

Excellent season, Griff! :thumbsup:

I knew I shoulda drafted Tebow my Hindu gods are weak.

Ruff Riders vs. Capybaras in the final! This NFL week and next combined score. Good luck to both of you! I wish you could both win.

They will both win, you're all winners.

Rest assured, even if I get second place, I will still tell everyone IRL that I won, because none of them will know any better.

Nice play, I may choose that route as well.

For Shame

:P

Clodfobble;949301 wrote:

Rest assured, even if I get second place, I will still tell everyone IRL that I won, because none of them will know any better.

Looks like you are going to easily win this one. No need to make stuff up.

I could mention that I was traveling and didn't have a chance to follow the news about my suspended player (thanks a lot, Odell) and my injured players. But I'm not going to mention that. It would look like I'm making excuses.

I made similar fauX pas due to apathy.

I blame everything on the Steelers coming out flat after two big games. They wear the fox paws not me.

glatt wrote:

Looks like you are going to easily win this one. No need to make stuff up.

I could mention that I was traveling and didn't have a chance to follow the news about my suspended player (thanks a lot, Odell) and my injured players. But I'm not going to mention that. It would look like I'm making excuses.

It's the added score of two games though, right? So you could still come back with a strong showing next week. I admit though, I nearly forgot to set my lineup as well. It's not really fair to have important games on the weekend after Christmas. They should consider the fantasy players--er, ah, I mean the real players' families, yeah...

Clodfobble;949866 wrote:

It's the added score of two games though, right?

If that's the case, then you are really paying more attention than I am and deserve to win this one.

Only because LJ mentioned it in this thread, I wouldn't know otherwise. I did find a place on the NFL site that seemed to confirm we've been a league since the 2009 season, though.

I won the game, to my surprise, but not by enough.

Congratulations, Clodfobble, 2015 league champion!
[ATTACH]54755[/ATTACH]

[SIZE="7"][COLOR="DarkRed"]Woo![/COLOR][/SIZE]

Nice job! Congrats!

well done

i believe the players in this lig have upped their game significantly in the last two years

and i believe next year it will be ON

I couldn't find the clip I wanted (a guy calling in falsetto "Oh Lordy, it's on!" from a different scene,) so this one will have to do:

[YOUTUBE]AoX5Nwznlko[/YOUTUBE]

WAIT HERE IT IS:

[YOUTUBE]W-_Ql0fN0bA[/YOUTUBE]

Oh it's on... grumble grumble



:) Congrats!

It was a good season, Griff. You had more points than anyone, overall, just unlucky distribution between games.

Griff was ranked #1 and had the best record at 11-2. Playoffs can be wacky though, especially when the injuries pop up at the end of the season.

*cough*

When is the draft? I looked but couldn't find it. Also, I'm up against TROOP for the first game, which I think is zippyt, right?

I think Jim needs to set it up.

It would be next weekend if he follows the same schedule as last year.

Clodfobble;950552 wrote:

It was a good season, Griff. You had more points than anyone, overall, just unlucky distribution between games.

Gerrymandering in fantasy football now?!?!

Things have gone too far, TOO FAR I SAY!