DIY Parent Medicine

clone but still an idea, maybe...

Kisses, for example. make everything better.

My parents gave my sister and me "dream charms" to ward off nightmares. they were actually big pearly buttons, but they worked. We clasped them or put them under our pillows and didn't have any more bad dreams.

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probably one of the two sound parenting ideas they had :rolleyes:

Can't do big buttons now, choking hazard. :rolleyes:

Rub some dirt in it and get back in the game.

Nothing worked for me re nightmares.
Although Limey can attest that I'm fine once woken up.

Mum used to be able to calm my night-fears though.
I hear her voice even now when I'm working myself up into a state (aka two o'clock in the morning thoughts).
"Sssh now, it's okay. Can you do anything about it right now? I mean right this minute? No. So we'll deal with it in the morning. If you lie still and rest it will give you strength."

As a Teaching Assistant my magic bag held bubbles, wet-wipes, patterned tissues (because even a snotty child wants to wipe their nose on a puppy) a whistle and mini-binoculars.
My priorities were different than those of a parent, but the kit worked for the role.

Sundae ... get your mom to record how she soothes you from a nightmare.

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

I'm fixin' to give you something to cry about.

xoxoxoBruce;902155 wrote:

Can't do big buttons now, choking hazard. :rolleyes:

Too big to be choking hazard. at least 1" diameter. Plus you just can't sell them for child use if they're small enough to be a choking hazard, there's no laws about what parents do with them, plus such remedies only really work with kids who are big enough that choking hazards are no longer an issue.

But C+ for effort, anyway.

I was joking about it, taking the politically correct position.
However, when the kid chokes, or even tells the wrong person about the button, and child protective services hauls your whole brood off to foster homes, you'll learn a little more about American laws governing what parents can and can not do. My bet is you'll be both surprised and unhappy. :eyebrow:

Strictly speaking, they consider anything that can fit inside the mouth at all to be a choking hazard. Needs a 3" diameter, minimum.

My mom used to tell me that I had accidentally gotten onto the "bad dream side" of my pillow, and just flip it over and everything would be fine again.

I used to make up cautionary stories about a foolish kid named Dwayne who makes really horrible choices and ends up dying. Used to do it for years. It was really fun, and it worked well too. Great for teaching them what not to do.

Now "Dwayne" is a sort of safe word that they can work into a phone conversation with us so we know they need us to come pick them up or extract them from a situation or something. Hope they never need to use it.

I hope they never meet a real person named Dwayne, because they will have prejudices against the moron.

The question is, who did you know named Dwayne, growing up?

I never even knew anyone named Dwayne! I think there was a character on a Cosby show spinoff about the daughter going to college, but that's the only Dwayne I know of.

glatt;902329 wrote:

I used to make up cautionary stories about a foolish kid named Dwayne who makes really horrible choices and ends up dying. Used to do it for years. It was really fun, and it worked well too. Great for teaching them what not to do.

Now "Dwayne" is a sort of safe word that they can work into a phone conversation with us so we know they need us to come pick them up or extract them from a situation or something. Hope they never need to use it.

I hope they never meet a real person named Dwayne, because they will have prejudices against the moron.

An old friend (who has since passed away) told a story about how he was telling his boys to stop jumping on the bed...one of his sons said "Oh great, here we go, he probably knows someone who died doing this." Funny folks...

I know a Dwayne. Everyone calls him Dewey. He is a bit goofusy.

infinite monkey;902348 wrote:

I know a Dwayne.... He is a bit goofusy.

I know! Right?

Something about a guy named Dwayne. He takes on that role to fit the name.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!

Clodfobble;902322 wrote:

Strictly speaking, they consider anything that can fit inside the mouth at all to be a choking hazard. Needs a 3" diameter, minimum.

My mom used to tell me that I had accidentally gotten onto the "bad dream side" of my pillow, and just flip it over and everything would be fine again.

I didn't grow up here, though, maybe Brits have smaller mouths? ;)

:eek:

I guess I grew up pretty different. When I had nightmares as a child, my parents gave me a pistol that shot suction tipped darts. I can still remember shooting into my closet sometimes to get the creepy crawlies.

Like Dwayne Johnson?

Sort of off topic but they don't prescribe Paregoric anymore it seems. When my kids were small we used to give it to them for tummy upsets or rub it on their gums for teething. Worked great!

Going to school we were allowed three cuts a year without a doctors note. The guys living off campus circumvented that by sending a roommate to the school nurse with a tale of diarrhea. She unfailingly responded with a dispensation and a large bottle of Paregoric. We ended up with a shelf-load of full bottles because as students in Boston we had 99 directions, but down wasn't one of them. ;)