Another new euphemism

limey • Oct 11, 2013 5:15 pm
I was musing aloud the other day that alcohol free beer should have another name. If'n you weren't expecting it to taste like beer some brands would actually taste OK. And the name has to be appealing, so that the designated driver enjoys placing their order for a drink. A friend, listening to me, piped up "You mean like A Big Dick?". Exactly.
Who doesn't want to stride into a bar and confidently say "mine's a Big Dick!"?
It works for all genders, all situations. Try ordering a Big Dick in this thread tonight and you'll see what I mean!


Sent by thought transference
jimhelm • Oct 11, 2013 8:40 pm
So, you're going with Big Dick?

We don't even get to come up with names?

What if you want a double? I'd like a double big dick?
limegreenc • Oct 11, 2013 9:24 pm
no...you want an African big dick
jimhelm • Oct 11, 2013 9:33 pm
No I don't!

Near Beer is no good? Failed Ale maybe? Sassparilla? O'Doules? Malk?

Anyway, do you actually drink it? I don't know anyone else who does. If I am the DD, I would be drinking Coke or water or coffee or tea, I reckon. How is it? Are there different kinds of tastes, like real beer? Is there a bitter hippy kind, and a smooth lager kind?
Sundae • Oct 12, 2013 6:22 am
Brand naming. I likey.
I'd suggest Courage if'n if hadn't already been taken, because it takes courage to order a non-alcoholic drink of everyone else is drinking.

How about Punnish? That spelling?
Clodfobble • Oct 12, 2013 7:16 am
The fact that no one drinks non-alcoholic beer just confirms my belief that everyone secretly knows beer tastes like ass, and they only drink it for the buzz and the social acceptance. You get neither with the fake beers, so no one drinks them, even though the flavor can't be that hard to mock up.
fargon • Oct 12, 2013 7:33 am
I drink fake beer. And like it.
glatt • Oct 12, 2013 8:29 am
Beer sometimes tastes really good. Depends on my mood. One thing though, this fad of ordering pale ales makes no sense at all. I think people are just able to remember that pale ale is a kind of beer, so they order it. It can't be because they like the taste. Pale ales are horrible. Lagers are where it's at. Even a pilsner is better than a pale ale.

Really though, I'm happiest with a red wine.
lumberjim • Oct 12, 2013 8:58 am
glatt, you get used to that bitterness, and it becomes rather refreshing. I used to hate the citrus taste of an IPA, but now, I actually prefer them.

I used to like sweet beers, like Tripel Ales and Lagers.... but now... I really like the HOPS. You have to train your tongue. there are beers that bridge the gap....like....

If you have some extra $$, try Duvel. it's $13 for a 4 pack... but it is the champagne of beers. dry and slightly fruity... crisp.... thin and quenchy.... it's really really good.

Image

BEER ADVOCATE'S OPINION

[B]Todd[/B]


Colorado

4.85/5 rDev [COLOR=#006600]+13.6%[/COLOR]
look: 5 | smell: 4.5 | taste: 5 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 5

Presentation: 33cl custom shorty with a bulbed neck. Best before date: 03/2003. Serve chilled.

Appearance: Cloudy (from escaped yeast) and pale. A grande creamy, chunk head adorns the top and sticks with great stay. The colour and head are perfection incarnate.

Smell: Delicate spice, pepper and clean malt sweetness.

Taste: Smooth and extremely creamy on the palate. A lively carbonation creates a light mouthfeel and crispness. Upfront flavours are bitter and sweet, with a lean on the sweet; distinct fruity malt esters, bold spiciness and rind-like twang that mellows and balances. Finishes slightly grain/dry with some residual spice and dextrin notes.

Notes: Deceivingly seductive and powerful. It lurs you with mesmerizing eye candy, then as the absolute refresher, then whacks the shite out of you with an 8.5% abv club. It's not called the "Devil" for nothing.

One of the best beers on the face of the Earth. Bow down to this god of beers.

Serving type: bottle

12-06-2000 21:21:53 | More by Todd


[B]Jason[/B]


Massachusetts

4.68/5 rDev [COLOR=#006600]+9.6%[/COLOR]
look: 5 | smell: 4.5 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 5 | overall: 5

330 ml stubby brown bottle with a best before date of 09 2006. Quick tips on how to pour the beer as well as “Bottle Conditioned” on the label.

Appearance: A perfect amount of foamy head from a trained pour into the appropriate Duvel glass, the lace clings to the glass in patchy clumps. The clarity is great as the pouring went well and the yeast stayed in the glass. Very pale in colour, some would confuse this with a lager as far as the light golden hue.

Smell: Hints of apple skin (juicy fruit), clean alcohol and a slight yeast bite in the aroma.

Taste & Mouthfeel: Clean pale malt flavour throughout. Three big flashes of yeast, hop bitterness and alcohol hit the palate. Big cleansing crispness makes you want an other sip. A tad juicy in the middle, with a big warming alcohol landing middle to end. Mild medicinal phenols peak in the middle and nearly vanish as the alcohol takes over.

Notes: A top shelf brew, this one does it for me and then some. Pretty much sex in a bottle and the devil told me to drink it. Duvel is close to dry champagne but so much more. Between the bitterness and the sheer crispness, this beer is what I expect from the Belgian strong pale ale style.

Serving type: bottle

12-09-2003 03:59:57 | More by Jason


Lamplighter • Oct 12, 2013 9:16 am
If you ordered " Duvel " in a Montana bar, you'd likely get Moose Drool.
Gravdigr • Oct 12, 2013 2:16 pm
limegreenc;879935 wrote:
no...you want an African big dick


No, no, no...You want to ask for A Big Black Dick.

Barfly: I'd like A Big Black Dick, please.
Bartender: Yeah, well, who wouldn't?
Sundae • Oct 12, 2013 2:32 pm
The Firkin chain of pubs used to stock an amusingly named range of beer.
Firkin Dogbolter being one of one of the tamer ones.

Occasionally a punter would already have suveyed what we had on the pumps but would try to embarrass us by asking for one of the fruitier names that they knew perfectly well we wouldn't have - being a freehouse.

I can't remember any of the others, but I do remember my response to that one. "No, but I do have hia cock in a jar." Nonsensical but immediate and on the spot.
And made it clear to said customer that the majority of barmaids had heard the lot.

I think that's why Ben mostly employed student nurses.
Funny how the ones with big tits seemed to get the most shifts though.
Carruthers • Oct 12, 2013 4:05 pm
I remember seeing a newspaper headline about the latest complaint from the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA): It simply said: 'The Gripes of Froth'.

Barmaid! A pint of Stench & Dredge's Old Peculier, if you please.
monster • Oct 12, 2013 9:18 pm
0Beach bang. 'Cause it's fucking close to water.

I drink low alcohol beer. It's fine. Now the regular stuff tastes funny. It's just what you get used to. Why do I drink it? So I can drink more :D I drink at home, though, so no DD required. But beest is on kid taxi duty ;) Tonight is a midnight pick-up for the freshman. I've still had little enough to drive, but by midnight (a) I'll be asleep and (b) I won't be driving any more. I'm too knackered anyway. I did the early morning shift and to the party.
BigV • Oct 16, 2013 3:19 pm
Carruthers;880024 wrote:
I remember seeing a newspaper headline about the latest complaint from the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA): It simply said: 'The Gripes of Froth'.

Barmaid! A pint of Stench & Dredge's Old Peculier, if you please.



Hey! I've been there, the Old Pequliar. It's pretty nice, though I don't remember them having Stench & Dredge's on tap. I'll make a note for next time.
Carruthers • Oct 16, 2013 3:57 pm
If they don't stock Stench & Dredges, then you might be in luck with....

Theakston's Old Peculier.
DanaC • Oct 16, 2013 4:15 pm
Bloody hell, that'll put hairs on your chest.

I remember trying to like it when I was younger, because of its reputation. Nah.
cellarolson • Oct 17, 2013 12:32 pm
they drink quite a lot of it in Germany.
limey • Oct 21, 2013 1:49 pm
I like Old Peculiar too. Thanks for picking this up and running with it in my absence. Yesterday I had two pints of Nuts (can't remember the brewery) and a pint of Jarl. Now I'm home I'll be back on the Big Dick!
DanaC • Oct 21, 2013 2:29 pm
Ohhh there's nothing like a having a Big Dick waiting for you when you get home.
fargon • Oct 21, 2013 2:55 pm
You gurlz R nasty.
DanaC • Oct 21, 2013 3:01 pm
And that's before we've even mentioned the Fox's Cock or the Bishop's Finger!
lumberjim • Oct 25, 2013 5:06 am
what do you call the relationship between you and the ex's new wife/husband/ S.O.?.....
DanaC • Oct 25, 2013 5:54 am
Insignificant Other?
monster • Oct 25, 2013 8:16 am
awkward?
A Duel?

Relay Race
lumberjim • Oct 25, 2013 9:12 am
Her next victim?
That poor guy?
Funny, but not indicative.

Her/His Husband/wife 2.0?, 3.0, etc.
lumberjim • Oct 25, 2013 9:13 am
Actually, it's probably best not to refer to them much at all anyway.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 25, 2013 11:17 am
Soon the boys will be grown and she won't have to. :thumb:
sexobon • Oct 25, 2013 2:15 pm
lumberjim;881467 wrote:
what do you call the relationship between you and the ex's new wife/husband/ S.O.?.....

Regifted.

The person - Secondhand [[SIZE="1"]insert name here[/SIZE]].
orthodoc • Oct 26, 2013 1:37 am
sexobon;881507 wrote:
Regifted.


Ooh. Win.
richlevy • Oct 26, 2013 9:50 am
limey;879886 wrote:
I was musing aloud the other day that alcohol free beer should have another name. If'n you weren't expecting it to taste like beer some brands would actually taste OK. And the name has to be appealing, so that the designated driver enjoys placing their order for a drink. A friend, listening to me, piped up "You mean like A Big Dick?".
Sorry, I pretty much intend to own the copyright.:D:blush:

But not to Biggus Dickus

[YOUTUBE]jow34DFZ18k[/YOUTUBE]
Sundae • Oct 26, 2013 4:55 pm
Took a picture of a pie for you today. M&S not Waitrose, aalthough I'm sure it's lovely.
Carruthers • Oct 27, 2013 4:17 pm
I was watching yet another repeat of 'Flog it!' two or three evenings ago and an elderly, but very sharp, lady pitched up with some silver ware to dispose of. Her name was Mrs Theakston and she was a member of the brewing family of the same name. She explained that the beer took its name from the 'Peculier Court of Masham' (Yorkshire) which was an ecclesiastical court that enabled the parish to govern its own affairs, independent of the rest of the diocese.

Now, that was worth waiting for, wasn't it?
DanaC • Oct 27, 2013 4:18 pm
I did not know that. Though it makes perfect sense now you say it.