You might be a hillbilly if...

Griff • Mar 7, 2013 8:25 pm
...you have 4 hens and 10 chicks in the house and a baited weasel trap out in the coop.
jimhelm • Mar 7, 2013 8:34 pm
livestock alone does not the HilBilly make.

You're far too cultured and cerebral. you FENCE forchrissakes.

who does that? snobs, that's who.

If anything You're a Hill-Biffy.<<<< user title alert>>>
Sheldonrs • Mar 7, 2013 8:39 pm
jimhelm;855835 wrote:
...If anything You're a Hill-Biffy.<<<< user title alert>>>


Or a HillWilliam.
Griff • Mar 7, 2013 8:40 pm
Why I outta!








change my loser title
footfootfoot • Mar 7, 2013 8:55 pm
jimhelm;855835 wrote:
livestock alone does not the HilBilly make.

You're far too cultured and cerebral. you FENCE forchrissakes.

who does that? snobs, that's who.

If anything You're a Hill-Biffy.<<<< user title alert>>>


If he still drank, he'd probably be making single malt in his refractory still...
Clodfobble • Mar 7, 2013 9:41 pm
If you catch the weasel, take pictures. I want to see what a weasel trap looks like.
Griff • Mar 7, 2013 10:02 pm
roger that... and that
monster • Mar 7, 2013 11:34 pm
you want to roger the weasel?
Griff • Mar 8, 2013 6:05 am
That really wouldn't be a good,... fit.
ZenGum • Mar 8, 2013 7:56 am
Hey, what do you think Pop Goes The Weasel is about?
infinite monkey • Mar 8, 2013 8:25 am
Pope Goestheweasel

He's a candidate. From Germany.

I used to work with a woman who would kid about her 'hillbilly heritage.' But she said she wasn't really a hillbilly...she was more of a Sport Billy.

It tickled my funny bone. Not like sports like baseball and stuff. Like a fun recreational hillbilly. ;)
Griff • Mar 8, 2013 8:37 am
recreational hillbilly- great identifier
ZenGum • Mar 8, 2013 9:01 am
Like a sports hillility behicle.
Griff • Mar 8, 2013 7:39 pm
No progress in the department of weasel acquisition, maybe we need a new mission statement.
footfootfoot • Mar 8, 2013 8:52 pm
[FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="Sienna"][SIZE="7"]"Weasels. We want to be your Mustelid."[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT="Garamond"][SIZE="1"]Paid for by the campaign to eviscerate negative weasel stereotypes and then cache them for eating later.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Gravdigr • Mar 9, 2013 11:13 am
jimhelm;855835 wrote:
livestock alone does not the HilBilly make.


Griff;855832 wrote:
...you have 4 hens and 10 chicks [COLOR="Red"]in the house[/COLOR] and a baited weasel trap out in the coop.


"in the house" just might be the tipping point.

:lol2:

Oh, and, fuck weasels.
Griff • Mar 9, 2013 12:25 pm
So when I put the hens in the house I freed the rooster who was with them so he wouldn't be alone. He and another rooster killed each other.:eek:
Gravdigr • Mar 9, 2013 12:46 pm
Griff;856093 wrote:
So when I put the hens in the house I freed the rooster who was with them so he wouldn't be alone. He and another rooster killed each other.:eek:


In the house???

:lol2: No shit?[COLOR="LemonChiffon"]...[/COLOR]:lol2:
Gravdigr • Mar 9, 2013 12:47 pm
I'm sorry...but that's funny.
Griff • Mar 9, 2013 12:55 pm
Nah, they were outside. Lots of blood.
Gravdigr • Mar 9, 2013 1:12 pm
Well, that takes some of the humor out of the situation.

Some, but, not all.

I really wanted to visualize a feathers-flying, full-on cock fight inside the confines of Grifftopia.
Gravdigr • Mar 9, 2013 1:16 pm
Sooo...you, the family, the hens...what'd y'all do to pass the time?

Watch TV? Poker? Have a wake for the roosters?
Griff • Mar 9, 2013 1:22 pm
I'm building a door. Later it will be Game of Thrones via Netflix, which is sure to make for some uncomfortable moments what with teenage daughters... maybe make some Cornell bbq just to keep the hens focused.
jimhelm • Mar 10, 2013 5:24 pm
Sorry about your cocks griff. That blows.

*cough*
infinite monkey • Mar 11, 2013 1:30 pm
I love that Griff has Wild Kingdom going on in and around his house!
footfootfoot • Mar 11, 2013 1:43 pm
Gravdigr;856118 wrote:
Well, that takes some of the humor out of the situation.

Some, but, not all.

I really wanted to visualize a feathers-flying, full-on cock fight inside the confines of Grifftopia.


Oh yeah. Then wait until Pete comes home and lie motionless, face down amidst the blood and gore.

Good times, good times.
footfootfoot • Mar 11, 2013 1:43 pm
jimhelm;856293 wrote:
Sorry about your cocks griff. That blows.

*cough*


Two beer penalty, your cooler. :mad:
BigV • Mar 12, 2013 6:48 pm
Griff;856093 wrote:
So when I put the hens in the house I freed the rooster who was with them so he wouldn't be alone. He and another rooster killed each other.:eek:

[COLOR="Red"]THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!![/COLOR]

Here's why:

[YOUTUBE]CprQ295dxVw[/YOUTUBE]


Jake Thackray &#8211; The Bantam Cock

It was a grand upstanding bantam cock,
So brisk and stiff and spry,
With springy step and jaunty plume
And a purposeful look in his eye,
In his little black blinking eye, he had.

I took him to the coop and introduced him
To my seventeen wide-eyed hens.
He tupped and he tupped as a hero tups
And he bowed from the waist to them all, and then
He upped and he tupped 'em all again, he did.

And then upon the peace of me ducks and me geese
He rudely did intrude.
With glazed eyes and open mouths
They bore it all with fortitude
And a little bit of gratitude, they did.

He jumped my giggling guinea fowl
And forced his attentions upon
My twenty hysterical turkeys and
A visiting migrant swan.
But the bantam thundered on, he did.

He ravished my fan-tailed pigeons and
Me lily-white columbines,
And while I was locking up the budgerigar
He jumped my parrot from behind;
She was sitting on me shoulder at the time.

And all of a sudden with a gasp and a gulp
He clapped his hands to his head,
Fell flat on his back with his toes in the air.
My bantam cock lay dead
And the vultures circled overhead, they did.

What a champion brute; what a noble cock;
What a way to live and to die.
I was diggin' him a grave to save his bones
From the hungry buzzards in the sky
When the bantam opened up a sly little eye.

He gave me a grin and a terrible wink,
The way that rapists do.
He said, 'You see them big daft buggers up there?
They'll be down in a minute or two;
They'll be down in a minute or two.'

toranokaze • Mar 31, 2013 3:30 am
Gravdigr;856078 wrote:
Oh, and, fuck weasels.


Well if you are fucking weasels that absolutely gets you into the hillbilly club.
IamSam • Mar 31, 2013 4:00 am
What about a mountain girl with too many bills who clubs prairie dogs?
Sundae • Mar 31, 2013 7:21 am
Sport Billy.
I came late to this thread and am still laughing.
That's the badly dubbed boy with a handbag, right?

It's up there with Wattoo Wattoo, Superbird and Mumfie as "TV programmes only Cherry has ever watched." Yes, I know I can look them up on t'internet, but it's not the same as sharing them with a real person, right? Oops, I've just denied the whole reason for the Cellar...

I think the prob is that I went home from school for lunch for many years. I lived (still live) so close it was cheaper and easier than taking packed lunch. In the Winter we could even have a hot meal. Steven remembers this but I can only remember sandwiches. Still, he was four years younger than me and the baby of the family (not to mention a fussy eater) so he may have had special treatment once I went on to the Floyd...

Kids' TV was only on at certain times of day (TV was only on a certain times of day!) and things weren't repeated ad nauseum. Well I say that, but the only episode of Fingerbobs anyone can ever recall is the one with the crow and the pebbles... And the only Bagpuss episode was the Marvellous Mechanical Mouse Mill "making chocolate biscuits out of breadcrumbs and butterbeans", so they may as well have saved their money. I do a mean impression of Charlie-Mouse.

I hated Rainbow days. Everyone else I talk to (of my vintage) loved it, but they watched it when they were 3-4, not 11-12!

PS - Jasper Carrot made it across The Pond?
The word amazeballs was invented for such an occurrence.
Flint • Mar 31, 2013 7:32 pm
Griff;855832 wrote:
...you have 4 hens and 10 chicks in the house and a baited weasel trap out in the coop.
Total tail-post; but I assume you meet the above stated condition? lol
richlevy • Mar 31, 2013 7:36 pm
You can't resist hunting a deer in a parking lot.

Arcangelo Bianco Jr., 40, spotted the deer and chased it around the store’s parking lot before firing several rounds from a handgun, CBS reports. After the deer was killed, he bagged it and brought it to a meat processor.


“He got out of his car and chased the deer down through the parking lot, and I believe even across Route 22,” Patrick Dougherty, the Indiana County District Attorney, told CBS about Bianco’s hot pursuit of the 10-point buck.


And the Wal-Mart deer was apparently a beauty. “It was the nicest buck I’ve seen taken in Indiana County in a couple of years,” Lucas added.
Griff • Mar 31, 2013 8:54 pm
Flint;859062 wrote:
Total tail-post; but I assume you meet the above stated condition? lol


Well, I did meet those criteria. :) All clear now.