The Landshark Thread

http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=7734

Post your landshark interpretation here! I'll start with the original landshark.

[Scene: Interior. A New York apartment. There is a knock at the door.]
Woman: [speaking through closed door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: Who?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.
Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.
Woman: Candygram, my foot! You get out of here before I call the police! You're the shark, and you know it!
Voice: Wait. I-I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
Woman: A dolphin? Well... Okay. [opens door]
[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, as Jaws attack music plays.]

I loved landshark. i have no idea what you want me to write though.

Well, that beer chart, for instance, pointed to Landshark beer for parrotheads, and google images is chockful of interesting pictures. Or you could write a poem. Or draw one. Or knap one!

I thought I wasn't supposed to drink and post

Rules were meant to be broken.

Land ..... Dolphin

I'm not 100% sure I 'get' furries.

Maybe the Scottish Squirrel

Hark! Hark!
Is that the landshark?
Knocking on my door is he wanting more
Flesh?

The peephole doesn't help people
Distinguish between dolphin and shark
Is it a harmless mammal
Or a fish knocking on doors in the dark?

Don't! Stop!
Don't open that door!
And don't go into that basement
It's full of monsters galore. At least FOUR!

And also don't move to Amityville.

I have always depended on the cleverness of strangers. :eyebrow:

Oh wait, that must be somewhere else. :rolleyes:

No shark snark. I am disappoint.

Come on, all the cool kids are doing it. I am, and I AM the cool kid.

You coulda been a contender. You coulda been somebody, instead of a bum-sitter, which is what you are, let's face it. (Get it? Huh? Waterfront? Shark?)

I won't be here all week, but eat something!

footfootfoot;851857 wrote:

I'm not 100% sure I 'get' furries.

It saves a paper bag. ;)

What is not to get it is having sex as an animal

Having sex with an animal?

Wait, if I squirell things away does that makes me Michelle Gomez?

War Hero Landshark

Infi, that was obviously photoshopped.

Infi, OMG that's reem!
Not serious enough for a tattoo, but I'd like it on some post-its.

I had to google reem:

;)

saying this automatically gives others permission to belt you round the face with a shovel.

reem = shovel round the face.

Reem is a slang word first used by Joey Essex on The Only Way Is Essex (TOWIE). It is basically an alternative word for cool

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=reem

Sundae;852349 wrote:

Infi, OMG that's reem!
Not serious enough for a tattoo, but I'd like it on some post-its.

That would be a cool tattoo, even though I am anti tattoo (for me) that would be fun for a few hours.

footfootfoot;852360 wrote:

That would be a cool tattoo, even though I am anti tattoo (for me) that would be fun for a few hours.

Good to know I'm not alone.

"What does your tatto mean to you?"

"It's symoblic of my love of humanity and my penchant for speaking Chinese without even realizing it. It also illustrates the futility mankind feels as top of the foodchain, and represents how close we are to failing in our role. And it looks cool. I'm expressing my individuality...just like everyone else."

Meh. My tattoo is a berry. Which is a word associated with my name for all my life. And a symbol of summer in this country. I was made up when I got it and I caught sight of it in the bathroom just yesterday and remembered how much I still love it.

Each to their own, and I'm certainly not being pissy. But I got the tramp stamp I'd wanted since I was 17, and it is still making me happy far longer than any of my relationships did.

But this is from a "lady" who dry-heaved outside the entrance to Glasgow Queen Street (station.) I can hardly claim to be classy.

Landshark says no.

Nah, poor translation.
Landshark says Yes, Yes, Yes - get me one now!

I speak Landshark you know.
Because I was born in England.

And I'm reem.