The 35 dumbest things said on the internet

Pete Zicato • Jan 25, 2013 10:39 am
I don't know if they're really the dumbest. But they are definitely dumb.

And these people are allowed to drive and vote.


http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/dumbest-things-ever-said-on-the-internet
Chocolatl • Jan 25, 2013 12:16 pm
Pete Zicato;850008 wrote:
And these people are allowed to drive and vote.


And procreate.
BigV • Jan 25, 2013 12:43 pm
but not that fetus. to be fair, the fetus refrained from comment.
footfootfoot • Jan 25, 2013 1:23 pm
Exactly 0% of water is celery.

I suspect a lot of that stuff is people being dumb sounding for comedic effect. Maybe I mean I hope...
DanaC • Jan 25, 2013 2:28 pm
Hahahahahaha


Love the temperature taking

'Those are rectal thermometers...'
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 25, 2013 2:41 pm
And they didn't even touch on politics... except Ben Franklin. :rolleyes:
Sundae • Jan 25, 2013 4:17 pm
They're all in English (and I'll hazard American English from some of the clues).

So there's probably dumber things out there. Every language that has access to the internet has internet dumb-arses (appalling grammar but I think you get me).
As do those who don't have internet, but we don't get to judge them.
ZenGum • Jan 25, 2013 7:01 pm
Well that explains the recent weather.
toranokaze • Jan 25, 2013 11:16 pm
I have an theory that people can act extra stupid at times.
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 25, 2013 11:17 pm
I have a theory they ain't all acting. :rolleyes:
Nirvana • Jan 25, 2013 11:46 pm
I am shocked they only listed 35

I did like the 'ovary' act :D
ZenGum • Jan 26, 2013 12:46 am
footfootfoot;850022 wrote:
Exactly 0% of water is celery.

I suspect a lot of that stuff is people being dumb sounding for comedic effect. Maybe I mean I hope...


Hang on ... some water is celery, isn't it? Celery is (I dunno, say...) 80% water. That water, the stuff that makes up the celery, kind of "is" celery.

The way water is in celery is not the way water is in a bottle - not topologically inside it, but metaphysically as one of its constituents.

Some water is celery, but not much. Thankfully.
Trilby • Jan 26, 2013 8:11 am
the whole water/celery thing reminds me of that riddle about the cucumber being 90% water or whatever and no body could answer it but tw did. He got it right. I forget the riddle....he never did get his prize, though. Just as well, I wouldn't be able to stand all his typing away whilst I was doing the deed.
Trilby • Jan 26, 2013 8:14 am
the riddle was something like this:

On a sunny morning, a greengrocer places 200 kilograms of cucumbers in cases in front of his shop. At that moment, the cucumbers are 99% water. In the afternoon, it turns out that it is the hottest day of the year, and as a result, the cucumbers dry out a little bit. At the end of the day, the greengrocer has not sold a single cucumber, and the cucumbers are only 98% water. How many kilograms of cucumbers has the greengrocer left at the end of the day?
footfootfoot • Jan 26, 2013 10:27 am
ZenGum;850147 wrote:
Hang on ... some water is celery, isn't it? Celery is (I dunno, say...) 80% water. That water, the stuff that makes up the celery, kind of "is" celery.

The way water is in celery is not the way water is in a bottle - not topologically inside it, but metaphysically as one of its constituents.

Some water is celery, but not much. Thankfully.

Water takes the SHAPE of the given container, not water BECOMES part of the given container.
Trilby;850172 wrote:
the riddle was something like this:

On a sunny morning, a greengrocer places 200 kilograms of cucumbers in cases in front of his shop. At that moment, the cucumbers are 99% water. In the afternoon, it turns out that it is the hottest day of the year, and as a result, the cucumbers dry out a little bit. At the end of the day, the greengrocer has not sold a single cucumber, and the cucumbers are only 98% water. How many kilograms of cucumbers has the greengrocer left at the end of the day?

http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?p=203110&highlight=cucumbers+water+99%25#post203110
toranokaze • Jan 26, 2013 9:40 pm
ZenGum;850147 wrote:
Hang on ... some water is celery, isn't it? Celery is (I dunno, say...) 80% water. That water, the stuff that makes up the celery, kind of "is" celery.

The way water is in celery is not the way water is in a bottle - not topologically inside it, but metaphysically as one of its constituents.

Some water is celery, but not much. Thankfully.


In the same way cars have doors, but a car isn't a door or house is made of wood, wood are made from trees but trees are not houses.
Crimson Ghost • Jan 26, 2013 10:41 pm
And houses are just places for our stuff.

BTW, I got shoes on, but I ain't walking.
ZenGum • Jan 27, 2013 6:53 am
footfootfoot;850195 wrote:
Water takes the SHAPE of the given container, not water BECOMES part of the given container.

http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?p=203110&highlight=cucumbers+water+99%25#post203110


That's the in-a-bottle relationship. The metaphysical constituent relationship is different. The water does become part of the celery.


toranokaze;850281 wrote:
In the same way cars have doors, but a car isn't a door or house is made of wood, wood are made from trees but trees are not houses.


Cars "have" doors. Celery "partly is" water. These relations are different.

You can have a bottle without water, a car without doors, a house without wood, but you cannot have celery completely without water.
DanaC • Jan 27, 2013 6:55 am
Celery is partly made of water. As are humans. A percentage of the world's water is in celery. A percentage in humans.
Trilby • Jan 27, 2013 9:18 am
DanaC;850309 wrote:
Celery is partly made of water. As are humans. A percentage of the world's water is in celery. A percentage in humans.


and pretty soon we'll be fighting over it. (water)
Sundae • Jan 27, 2013 9:23 am
I love the Cellar.
Clodfobble • Jan 27, 2013 9:37 am
ZenGum wrote:
Cars "have" doors. Celery "partly is" water. These relations are different.

You can have a bottle without water, a car without doors, a house without wood, but you cannot have celery completely without water.


Similarly, you could ask, what percentage of the world's oxygen is water?
ZenGum • Jan 27, 2013 6:08 pm
So, what percentage of the world's oxygen is celery?
footfootfoot • Jan 27, 2013 7:40 pm
ZenGum;850308 wrote:
That's the in-a-bottle relationship. The metaphysical constituent relationship is different. The water does become part of the celery.




Cars "have" doors. Celery "partly is" water. These relations are different.

You can have a bottle without water, a car without doors, a house without wood, but you cannot have celery completely without water.


The water resides within the celery's cell walls, it is not in solution and can be removed, for example:

If a grocer had a box with 100 pounds of celery that was 99% water and the next day the celery had lost so much water it was only 98% water how many blowjobs would the former Brianna have given for the correct answer.

IOW I reject your celery water conflation.
footfootfoot • Jan 27, 2013 7:41 pm
ZenGum;850377 wrote:
So, what percentage of the world's oxygen is celery?


42
toranokaze • Jan 30, 2013 8:47 pm
ZenGum;850308 wrote:
That's the in-a-bottle relationship. The metaphysical constituent relationship is different. The water does become part of the celery.




Cars "have" doors. Celery "partly is" water. These relations are different.

You can have a bottle without water, a car without doors, a house without wood, but you cannot have celery completely without water.


There exits desiccated powered celery.
Powered celery is celery
There is no water in powered celery.
Therefore celery can exists without water.
ZenGum • Jan 30, 2013 10:17 pm
Would you say that mummified people are still people?

Powdered celery is a product derived from dead celery, but it is not in esse celery. Celery is a living thing, for starters.
BigV • Jan 30, 2013 10:39 pm
is it still living when I'm eating it?

if it's not, is it no longer celery?
footfootfoot • Jan 31, 2013 12:07 pm
A maple tree is a tree, sawn into boards it is no longer a tree but it is now maple boards. Still maple, just not a tree.
glatt • Jan 31, 2013 12:12 pm
When I eat bacon, I digest it, and it becomes one with my body. Am I bacon?
footfootfoot • Jan 31, 2013 12:15 pm
yes. now jump into that frying pan.
BigV • Jan 31, 2013 12:19 pm
glatt;850905 wrote:
When I eat bacon, I digest it, and it becomes one with my body. Am I bacon?


did you just tell me:

[ATTACH]42653[/ATTACH]

... wait. wrong animal; wrong poster. nevermind.
Chocolatl • Jan 31, 2013 1:20 pm
If you eat the celery in your Bloody Mary while you sit in first class waiting for a plane to take off from a treadmill...
DanaC • Jan 31, 2013 2:54 pm
Chocolatl;850918 wrote:
If you eat the celery in your Bloody Mary while you sit in first class waiting for a plane to take off from a treadmill...


Let me stop you right there...
BigV • Jan 31, 2013 10:23 pm
Chocolatl;850918 wrote:
If you eat the celery in your Bloody Mary while you sit in first class waiting for a plane to take off from a treadmill...


don't you have a tiny-toothed titty-tiger to be complaining about?!?! You don't? Are you sure she's not just on the other side of the tree?
Chocolatl • Feb 1, 2013 8:46 am
Huh???
glatt • Feb 1, 2013 9:11 am
I think you weren't around for the whole squirrel vs. hunter debate. It was worse than the plane on a treadmill one.
Chocolatl • Feb 1, 2013 9:18 am
Oh, geeze. I'll be glad I missed that one, then. :)
glatt • Feb 1, 2013 9:47 am
sorry

:D
footfootfoot • Feb 1, 2013 12:10 pm
Worse? Surely you mean better. I think we need a new thread and a poll

:bolt:
Chocolatl • Feb 1, 2013 12:41 pm
[ATTACH]42664[/ATTACH]

If a shark swims clockwise around a squirrel holding celery, how much of the Earth's water is contained inside the passengers on the plane?

Show all your work.
glatt • Feb 1, 2013 12:44 pm
Holy Cellar memes, Batman!
footfootfoot • Feb 1, 2013 2:02 pm
Please tell me you are not doing that while Beans is asleep and you should be resting.
Aliantha • Feb 4, 2013 8:34 pm
I just read all those dumb things and now I feel much better about myself. :) I think I'll go check my BP, and then eat some celery. Will that then mean that the level of water in me is higher, or am I just part celery then? Hmmm...I'm so confused now.