Gourds Don't Kill People

Gravdigr • Jan 23, 2013 1:26 pm
Sorry. Had to be done. :D

And besides, gourds don't kill people. Go ahead, find me an instance of a gourd killing someone.

I dare ya.
BigV • Jan 23, 2013 1:28 pm
what do you think about durian?
Chocolatl • Jan 23, 2013 1:38 pm
I'm pretty sure just the smell of durian is lethal.
Gravdigr • Jan 23, 2013 1:39 pm
I'm thinking about going to the store after laundry, and then lunch.

Ima be durian a lot of things today...wait, you said durian, I thought you said doing. Hang on a sec, I gotta go learn what durian is.
Gravdigr • Jan 23, 2013 1:43 pm
This quote from the durian Wikipedia entry tells me all I need to know:

The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust, and has been described variously as almonds, rotten onions, turpentine, raw sewage, and gym socks.


Pass. :headshake

Although it does look deadly enough.
Gravdigr • Jan 23, 2013 1:44 pm
Or were you talking about the band Durian Durian?

This thread is about gourd control.
Trilby • Jan 23, 2013 2:02 pm
I am both a gourd owner and enthusiast. Gourds, in the right hands, can be made into marvelous soups and stews, compliment other dishes or be hollowed out to make a spectacular thanksgiving table center piece. The tradition of gourds in this country is much longer and much prouder than any gun tradition. Gourds, unless catapulted, hurt NO ONE sir, and I expect better from you.

Sincerely,
Pumpkin Eater
glatt • Jan 23, 2013 2:11 pm
whatever you do, don't do a Google image search for: gourd papua new guinea

They may not have ever killed anyone, but they can take an eye out.
BigV • Jan 23, 2013 2:17 pm
http://www.yearofthedurian.com/2012/12/news-of-durian-death-in-sarawak.html

http://www.malaysiandigest.com/news/36-local2/180751-baby-killed-by-durian-parents-accept-death-as-fate.html

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/12/7/sarawak/12423803&sec=sarawak
Trilby • Jan 23, 2013 2:28 pm
I just googled a pic of a durian and if the spikes and the fetid smell of the pulp is not enough to put you off you kind of deserve to die.

spikes on plants and animals are a warning from nature. They say STOP, go away. Also the same can be said for Western males who spike themselves. Usually not a good candidate for a date.
Chocolatl • Jan 23, 2013 2:41 pm
Good thing durian and drop bears aren't indigenous to the same area. I'd be afraid to ever walk outside.
Trilby • Jan 23, 2013 2:43 pm
:lol:

seriously, did you see that fruit? It's saying "I"m worse than tequila" right there on the label.
BigV • Jan 23, 2013 3:02 pm
I've had durian and I love it. A little goes a long way though. To be fair, I've had tequila too. Como to think of it, a little tequila goes a long way too.
ZenGum • Jan 23, 2013 6:25 pm
I've heard durian described as like eating custard while sitting on a pit toilet.


There is a band called Totally Gourdgeous whose instruments are made out of gourds.

http://www.myspace.com/totallygourdgeous
BigV • Jan 23, 2013 6:59 pm
ZenGum;849804 wrote:
I've heard durian described as like eating custard while sitting on a pit toilet.


There is a band called Totally Gourdgeous whose instruments are made out of gourds.

http://www.myspace.com/totallygourdgeous


I've had durian and I've sat on a pit toilet. Until now, those ideas never shared a breath, much less a simultaneous experience. Now pit toilet are ruined for me. Thanks. :eyebrow:
toranokaze • Jan 24, 2013 1:06 am
http://www.wilton.com/idea/Pumpkin-Man-Cupcake

The pumpkin god has spoken
Happy Monkey • Jan 24, 2013 1:18 pm
https://www.google.com/search?q=punkin+chunkin
Gravdigr • Jan 24, 2013 5:39 pm
ZenGum;849804 wrote:
I've heard durian described as like eating custard while sitting on a pit toilet.


BigV;849811 wrote:
I've had durian and I've sat on a pit toilet. Until now, those ideas never shared a breath, much less a simultaneous experience. Now pit toilet are ruined for me. Thanks. :eyebrow:


I have never eaten anything whilst sitting on any type of toilet.

On the other hand...I have uneaten some things whilst sitting on a toilet.:vomitblu:
BigV • Jan 24, 2013 7:15 pm
dunno where you are relative to Lexington, but they appear to have an asian grocery there, and that's what you need to get durian in these/those parts.

you go get one. sit on a chair in the kitchen and have some durian. close your eyes as you're having a bite, breathe deeply as you eat a piece of that creamy flesh.

then come back here and tell me how far off you find ZenGum's description.
ZenGum • Jan 24, 2013 7:54 pm
*Disclaimer*

I have not eaten durian. The "custard-on-the-toilet" phrase was used (independently) by two people I know who have.

I also know durian is banned from many hotels and forms of public transport in S.E. Asia.


ETA: Of course, if you want a really good durian, you want one that's already been eaten and shat out by an elephant.
http://www.soshiok.com/article/13783
BigV • Jan 24, 2013 11:02 pm
kopi luwak of the gods!

omg.

edited to add the omg and to say I just now read the article. kopi luwak indeed. It beggars the imagination to think of one of those durians anywhere in any gastrointestinal tract. They are uncomfortable to hold in my hand, much less manipulate peristallically. I call bullshit. so to speak.
ZenGum • Jan 24, 2013 11:29 pm
1. Find some weird, rare and preferably gross substance.
2. Charge $1,000 a kilo
3. Start a rumour about it being an aphrodisiac.

Ka-ching, baby.
toranokaze • Jan 25, 2013 9:06 pm
ZenGum;849937 wrote:
1. Find some weird, rare and preferably gross substance.
2. Charge $1,000 a kilo
3. Start a rumour about it being an aphrodisiac.

Ka-ching, baby.


The rare pit of the carrion flower can be consumed to great aphrodisiactic effects now on sale for 1 dollar a gram
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrion_flower
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 25, 2013 9:16 pm
aph·ro·di·si·ac
noun \ˌa-frə-ˈdē-zē-ˌak, -ˈdi-zē-\

Definition of APHRODISIAC
1: an agent (as a food or drug) that arouses or is held to arouse sexual desire

2: something that excites


To be clear, this doesn't ehance performance, just desire. What guy needs that?

OK, is this a roofie... or maybe one of those, "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms".
Gravdigr • Feb 9, 2013 6:51 pm
Excuse me, Miss? Does this cloth smell like chloroform?
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