Help Me Find a New Career
Although of course joke submissions are welcome, I'm slightly serious here.
If I were to be in a position to completely change careers, and do anything I want, what might you suggest I do? Given everything you know, or think you know, about me, what can you see me happily employed doing?
My mind wanders down the path of Park Ranger from time to time (see what I did there?) but is it feasible?
I really might make a move in the future. Help me figure out what to be when I grow up!
Poo flinger in the local monkey house
NEW career, spexx, not the same old career. ;)
Well, contemplating a completely new career, a change in direction, is exhilarating. You can reflect on what values drive you, what goals those values might engender, and then what interests/directions you could go to fulfill some of those goals and be true to those values. You mention Park Ranger as something that floats across your mind ... do you value the environment? Preservation of wilderness? An outdoor life? Ecology? Animal welfare?
If I'm way off the mark, you do know what's 'on the mark'. I'm sorry I don't know you well and can't be very accurate in what I suggest, but it's an energizing thing to contemplate (bit of an oxymoron: energizing contemplation :p:).
So ... what core values would you want to live out in a new career?
Librarian - You could still help the college yout's, but you'd be exposed to more of the ones who are trying to learn, rather than the ones scrounging for money. On the other hand, I can see you perhaps being a little too raucous and off-color for your presumably stodgy coworkers.
Speaking for many of us dwellars, I'm sure there are quite a few of us who'd be more than delighted to offer you a new position. The question is, how would you be able to choose? I'm guessing the lesser of many evils.
Seriously, despite your lotsa posting, we really don't know too much about you.
Would you like to be a Forest Ranger? a Long Shorewoman? I bet you might like to own a diner. Or be a movie theater usherette. Continuity checker for feature films.
Or...
Check this shiznit out, homegrrrrl: Buckeye Brewski in da house!
https://brewmagic.com/brew-magic-v350ms-system
[YOUTUBE]SD8DIyVHbC8[/YOUTUBE]
Catering. You could be a party planner and caterer
caterwauling. You could be in charge of wauling all the caterers.
I think you're emminently suited to hand out parenting advice.
Writer of satire. You'd be great!
The world always needs folks who specialize in scrotums.
I mean, you can go many different directions with that kind of knowledge.
H.mmmmm....I do like the librarian idea but in Ohio they have really gutted the funding and librarians are now exposed to all sorts of incredibly rude and demanding and obnoxious behavior PLUS sometimes the students have sex in the stacks...so there's that.
I think I know a little about infini...she likes smart, dedicated people, people who want to manage the work and not the people. How about research assist? Or assist with a book? Would you like to work alone or with others but with major caveats such as the Others must be Decent and Well Educated and Not Fuck Around with Others' Lives?
I once thought working at the museum would be cool until I met a woman who worked there and she said all the same old bullshit goes on there, too.
How about erotic phone solicitor?
Infi, you should write for SNL.
IM, you work at a college. Walk down the hall and take some interest and personality tests.
A single byte of data is not a full meal, but many years ago that's what I did. It's how I got into programming.
Whichever path you choose to do, be sure to use the talent you have
with words/ideas and spur-of-the-moment associations... a la
thisAw shucks, thanks Lamp, but I'm thinking it's not really a marketable skill. :)
How about erotic phone solicitor?
We're always looking for talent!
Pam
Park Ranger. I like that idea. I would love to do that too, if I were younger and tougher.
I know you can hold your own against woodland creatures and your nose against nasty bathrooms. Nasty bathrooms can't be worse than nasty coworkers.
Don't throw things in the pit-potty.
They are very hard to retrieve.
Park Ranger. I like that idea. I would love to do that too, if I were younger and tougher.
I know you can hold your own against woodland creatures and your nose against nasty bathrooms. Nasty bathrooms can't be worse than nasty coworkers.
Ain't that the truth?
Sigh...I look around with different ideas, different programs available at schools...I'm completely and hopelessly lost.
If I thought it would really happen I'd ask Gawd for a sign... :o
Heh.
Tha's true, lamplighter. Not impossible, but heroically difficult.
This one time, at band camp (not really band camp, scout camp actually, but band camp sounds funnier) a nighttime trip to the kybo resulted in one of the scout's maglites being dropped into the pit.
Shit.
No, really. Shit.
Ironically, the light had tumbled as it dropped and landed vertically, shining straight up. You know how you're not supposed to shine a light directly in your eyes? That's true for all your eyes. Anyhow, this pit was pretty full, and the mound onto which it stuck was high, high enough to tempt us to fashion a rigid wire noose for an emergency extraction. One of the other dads got that shitty assignment, and the light was rescued.
Now I know it's not worth it.
I've asked the Uni for a sign before with the caveat that it be really freakin' obvious as I am a dark crayon and you know what? I've always gotten one (answer, that is) and you will, too. Just ask for it to be OBVIOUS as sometimes the Universe is too subtle for me. :)
Every time I ask for a sign someone runs into my car. :(
There's my sign: shut up and like it.
Every time I ask for a sign someone runs into my car. :(
There's my sign: shut up and like it.
No....I respectfully disagree. I think there is
another message there...
keep asking and if you get run into again, we'll have a serious pow wow about you becoming some sort of mechanic... :driving:
Tell me how weird either of these things sound:
Heavy equipment operator
Medical coding
I like both of them for you because you can kind of be in your own world with both those jobs. I'd imagine you'd have little interaction with people as a medical coder and those people are in need in this area. SCC has (or used to have) an AS in Medical Records.
I think you'd have fun operating a wrecking ball
That would be fun as hell!
I can actually see you being really good as a site manager for a general contractor. Telling the tile guys that being late is unacceptable, and they'll be finishing after dark without overtime pay, and having them tip their hats and meekly reply, "ma'am."
Wow, I'm a big wimp in real life. If backed into a corner I'm fierce as hell, but for most stuff I'm a big giant doormat. ;)
Don't tell foot and ut I might lose my position with the jamaicans, mon.
Hey, can I get a job as a doormat?
Every time I ask for a sign someone runs into my car. :(
There's my sign: shut up and like it.
wrong!
get a job at a Body Shop!
here's a sign for you
[ATTACH]39588[/ATTACH]
I no know whut it mean......
You could probably sign junkies in to rehab pretty good.
I have no doubt that you'd manage business casual much better than I am, at least.
Check your state's employment assistance office's listings for jobs. My experience of Pennsylvania's are that they are unusual, sometimes in niche markets or businesses seeking to develop new markets. It's not all sales and heavy lifting kinds of jobs, either.
While he's doing some sort of driving job now, sycamore used to work as a long-term temp in a number of different office contexts. All kinds of experience, lots of flexibility, and usually full-time hours. Worth a shot. I had put out feelers to a company specializing in nut-wrangling temps just before I got my tender for hire from the rehab.
Hmm, you might make a fair domestic servant. Though, you are getting rather old
I think she'll need to be domesticated some, first.
Hmm, you might make a fair domestic servant. Though, you are getting rather old
Being a maid has a really limited lifespan. Butlers, however, seem to retain their positions well into their dotage, if Masterpiece Theater is art imitating life.
There should be more female butlers.
This could be the opportunity you are looking for.
Maids mature into housekeepers, from where they boss about the new maids.
Which may make your experience in student finance useful.
I think you'd have fun operating a wrecking ball
I know that in PA at least they pay female crane operators especially well because they need females to make equality quotas, plus they train you.
I'm still considering heavy equipment operation, and forestry.
Also up for consideration: dog groomer, lobster boat inspector, chicken sexer.
Actually really only dog groomer or lobster boat inspector. I'd settle for chicken boat inspector.
I ran into an old cow orker on Saturday: she retired before I left my last job. She was telling me about a woman who was nearing fifty and went to HC (a college that centers around agriculture and forestry, and stuffs) and now lives on an island off of Maine, and works in a restaurant and the govt employs her to inspect lobster boats too.
Yeah, I could do that. Would just need a warm body to go with me for those cold Maine winter nights. ;)
Medical coding is still on my list too.
For the inevitable, I mean, um...er IN CASE OF dislocation of my job. ;)
You could totally be a lobster boat inspector.
"Yup, that's a lobster boat."
"How do you know that's a chicken boat?"
"It's got wings, doesn't it?"
Hahahahahah! I was telling my family this story on Easter sunday...my sis in law was like...what are you looking for? "Rubber band around claw? Check!"
Then we got into people trying to let un-rubber banded lobster to be accepted. I was like "NO! You let one claw get through..."
There was more to it, but we laughed a lot. Then my mom decided I'd be better suited for inspecting chicken boats since I don't eat crustaceans. I could drive around farms on a golf cart: Chicken? Check! Another chicken...check.
You probably had to be there. ;)
I'm about ready to get my CDL. I could be all about hauling the gravel.
I almost got my CDL so I could work at the wastewater treatment plant.
I took at look at the test booklet and decided to bag it. There is so much big truck technical crap that I didn't want to learn, plus finding a truck to learn on.
Instead I will be a truck driver of men's souls...
CDL?
I drove a tractor one summer. Does that count? Cute little Farmall Cub. At the time, I thought it was a real tractor.
There is so much big truck technical crap that I didn't want to learn, plus finding a truck to learn on.
Just rent a Class-A RV for a few days, same diff. ;)
CDL?
I drove a tractor one summer. Does that count? Cute little Farmall Cub. At the time, I thought it was a real tractor.
In HS and college, at the produce farm, I was able to run the forklift up a just wide enough ramp, make a 90 degree turn (with no wiggle room) into a freezer, retrieve a giant crate of corn. Lower enough to get it back through the door, then back down the ramp, move over to the giant crate in the market, get under that door, raise the crate, tell customers to back up for five fucking seconds this corn didn't come out of the field at any different time the other corn did it was just sitting in the freezer...slowly tilt the crate so that the new corn was dumped (read:placed ever so gently) onto the giant customer crate so they could keep pawing over the corn.
I knew of at least two guys who wrecked the forklift and broke the ramp.
I also drove the box van (like picture only it was really old, stick shift, holes in the floor) to a grocery in town to deliver loads of 5 dozen ear bags of corn. Tight squeeze. The grocery guy thought I was the most awesome chick on earth, as another couple guys tore corners off the roof of the market trying to get back there.
I'm goooooooooooooooooooooood.
Clearly you are in the wrong job. You were appreciated as a driver.
I was 17-21 years old!
You are not the only one with a plethora of diverse experience, Mr Artisan. ;)
I'm lousy with experience over here! :lol:
I'm reading this
In HS and college, at the produce farm, I was able to run the forklift up a just wide enough ramp, make a 90 degree turn (with no wiggle room) into a freezer, retrieve a giant crate of corn. Lower enough to get it back through the door, then back down the ramp, move over to the giant crate in the market, get under that door, raise the crate, tell customers to back up for five fucking seconds this corn didn't come out of the field at any different time the other corn did it was just sitting in the freezer...slowly tilt the crate so that the new corn was dumped (read:placed ever so gently) onto the giant customer crate so they could keep pawing over the corn.
I'm thinking this.
Sounds like a class 2 rating to me.
This ad for Alpaca ranching was in the sidebar on the weather page.
http://www.alpacainfo.com/#
Have to say, yeah, sounds like driving and stuff is your bag.
Driving was fun 25 years ago. Now, not so much. I'm as jaded with driving as I am with people. ;)
I really like Edward Forklifthands, there, though.
Actually though, my dad ran heavy equipment for years, and I've been on big old dozers and stuff with him. I really do have a knack for it, and good mechanical skills, and good eye-hand coordination. And no one can talk to you easily.
It's true that the roads are more crowded than they were 25 years ago. Too many people!
Actually though, my dad ran heavy equipment for years, and I've been on big old dozers and stuff with him. I really do have a knack for it, and good mechanical skills, and good eye-hand coordination. And no one can talk to you easily.
What?
Its loud dude! I hadn't thought of that advantage.
[COLOR="White"]sonofabitch[/COLOR]
Seriously, downunda the mining industry have got with the plot and are now quite happy to have females driving the enormous trucks and operating the giant digger machines. Could you see yourself doing that?
Or logistics clerk in a shipping company. Warehouse picker/packer. Mechanical bull wrangler. Shopping trolley wheel aligner.
I could see myself doing that! Think the Flashdance Welder girl without the flash, without the dance, and without the welding. I could weld though. It's just really big soldering.
And I (no, really, I do) have warehouse experience. A temp job at Honda soon after college. I really enjoyed it, I was fast at finding the parts, I loved the physical nature of the job.
I am already wrangling all the bull I can handle, and I am way too in tune with the plight of shopping trolleys to be able to put aside my anger at those who won't push their carts together and therefore excacerbate the wheel alignment issue. I can be really mean. (NO, you say, NOT YOU??????) ;)
Keep the ideas coming!
(Something potentially GOOD happened here yesterday so I have hope again. Yet still I am ready for a new journey if need be.)
Can you rollerskate? An old cow orker of mine used to own a Snap-on truck and he said the people who picked parts and tools at the warehouse were on skates. The warehouse was acres apparently and it was how everyone got around. It was a requirement, according to him. Someone should maybe google that to see if it's true. I'm suddenly getting this gullible me vibe.
Our inventory guy has been sharpening knives for friends and family. He invested in a $600 sharpener, and just signed up a grocery store to do their knives periodically. I think he gets $5 per knife. He made $300 one Sunday by doing it from the back of his pickup truck in a friends development. He didn't even have a sign up. The neighbors called each other, and they came out to watch and get theirs done.
it could turn into a real job.
That would be an awesome gig.
Can you rollerskate? An old cow orker of mine used to own a Snap-on truck and he said the people who picked parts and tools at the warehouse were on skates. The warehouse was acres apparently and it was how everyone got around. It was a requirement, according to him. Someone should maybe google that to see if it's true. I'm suddenly getting this gullible me vibe.
This is a great skill, and would lend itself to moon-lighting jobs.
The drive-in hamburger joints in Bend and PDX still have their car hops on skates.
That would be an awesome gig.
It so would.
His pocket knife is crazy sharp, too. hair splitting sharp.
Our inventory guy has been sharpening knives for friends and family. He invested in a $600 sharpener, and just signed up a grocery store to do their knives periodically. I think he gets $5 per knife. He made $300 one Sunday by doing it from the back of his pickup truck in a friends development. He didn't even have a sign up. The neighbors called each other, and they came out to watch and get theirs done.
it could turn into a real job.
There's a guy around here who does that. He loves his semi-nomadic life, driving around in his panel truck loaded with tools. He'll also refurbish knives completely.
I could join Fox Force Five
Mia: It was show about a team of female secret agents called "Fox Force Five."
Vincent:What?
Mia: "Fox Force Five." Fox, as in we're a bunch of foxy chicks. Force, as in we're a force to be reckoned with. Five, as in there's one..two ...three..four..five of us. There was a blonde one, Sommerset O'Neal from that show "Baton Rouge, she was the leader. A Japanese one, a black one, a French one and a brunette one, me. We all had special skills. Sommerset had a photographic memory, the Japanese fox was a kung fu master, the black girl was a demolition expert, the French fox' specialty was sex...
Vincent: What was your specialty?
Mia: Knives. The character I played,Raven McCoy, her background was she was raised by circus performers. So she grew up doing a knife act. According to the show, she was the deadliest woman in the world with a knife. But because she grew up in a circus, she was also something of an acrobat. She could do illusions, she was a trapeze artist -- when you're keeping the world safe from evil, you never know when being a trapeze artist's gonna come in handy. And she knew a zillion old jokes her grandfather, an old vaudevillian, taught her. If we would have gotten picked up, they would have worked in a gimmick where every episode I would have told a joke.
Or you could join the Shitmen and fight crime in the sewers.
I would LOVE to join The Shitmen.
We need to work on a theme song.
I would LOVE to join The Shitmen.
We need to work on a theme song.
I dunno. I think it would sound like crap. :D
Oh must you poo-poo our ideas? ;)
*luvz Pete* :)
Oh must you poo-poo our ideas? ;)
I guess urine a different place about this.
Seriously IM, this has your name all over it:
The BJCP
The three primary purposes of the BJCP (Beer Judge Certification Program) are
Promote beer literacy
Promote the appreciation of real beer
Recognize beer tasting and evaluation skills
http://www.bjcp.org/course/introduction.php
Introduction
This is an on-line class for beer appreciation and preparation for the BJCP Exam. To get the most from this class YOU MUST DRINK BEER. This is best taught in a LIVE class where you can get LIVE feedback!!!! But there is a demand from those that are remote from all of us Beer Nuts and this is an attempt to provide this service.
One of the most important aspects of these classes is the evaluation of beer. In order to do this you MUST buy and evaluate beer from the classic/commercial style recommendations. If you are not willing or are unable to do this there is little point in continuing. To get the most out of this class it is important to evaluate all of the beers, even those that you don't like, or think that you won't like. When I teach my live class these are the beers that are most often the most appreciated. This is the activity that will inform you the most of the wide world of beer. Thus I encourage you to buy a bottle of each and every beer style we discuss for evaluation.
Once you try the beers you don't like you don't need to go back to them. You can specialize in your own favorite.
I can think of two other words that start with b and j. And I happen to be a qualified judge. There is no fee for the certificate, (in fact, meals are included) and you can take the test as often as once per morning.
Yo, I got me a PhD dude! :lol:
BJMD
Beer is NOT a joking matter, you two.
Do I need to separate you? [COLOR="LemonChiffon"]I've got a bucket of cold water right here...[/COLOR]