He Killed A Rabid Mountain Lion With A Skillet

Gravdigr • May 31, 2012 6:32 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived":

Rabid mountain lion in attack mode no match for Chino Valley man and his frying pan

[SIZE="1"]Ok, he's "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived", second only to "That Guy Who Killed A Grizzly Bear With His Bare Hands And A Stick".[/SIZE]
jimhelm • May 31, 2012 6:43 pm
Arnold is sheepish about his heroics, saying Apollo is his baby and he didn't want him to die.

"It was the adrenaline," he said. "I'm not a badass or anything."
footfootfoot • May 31, 2012 7:06 pm
Then we chopped it into pieces with a meat cleaver and danced about on its grave singing "Hallelujah"
Rhianne • May 31, 2012 7:34 pm
It was only trying to be friendly.
classicman • Jun 1, 2012 12:35 am
now add a little Marsala glaze with wild mushrooms & chives ...
BigV • Jun 1, 2012 1:10 am
a 14 inch cast iron skillet is a big ass skillet. I have a 13 incher and I can barely lift it. mostly because the handle's too short, and I don't have any mountain lions to motivate me.
glatt • Jun 1, 2012 8:39 am
See, now, I was debating this about 20 years ago with some friends to pass the time during a boring day at work. I said that if you were trapped in a cage with a mountain lion, and all you had was a baseball bat, you could kill the lion. They thought the lion would win every time. I acknowledged that it wouldn't be easy, and that you would have to connect on the first swing, but that it was possible. I feel vindicated.

I wonder where those guys are now?
infinite monkey • Jun 1, 2012 8:55 am
This is a great story.

I was thinking, glatt, hopefully it's a big cage. A circus cage would work, but a big pet crate cage...you wouldn't be able to swing!
glatt • Jun 1, 2012 9:38 am
Oh, absolutely. The cage size was a big part of the discussion until we agreed it was the same size as the room we were all sitting in. About 40 feet by 40 feet. We decided the mountain lion would be avoiding you and you would have to hunt the lion in the room.
infinite monkey • Jun 1, 2012 9:40 am
See, that's great. I just imagine that conversation...fun!
jimhelm • Jun 1, 2012 10:28 am
glatt;813573 wrote:
See, now, I was debating this about 20 years ago with some friends to pass the time during a boring day at work. I said that if you were trapped in a cage with a mountain lion, and all you had was a baseball bat, you could kill the lion. They thought the lion would win every time. I acknowledged that it wouldn't be easy, and that you would have to connect on the first swing, but that it was possible. I feel vindicated.

I wonder where those guys are now?


huh. When I was 20 ish, we were camping, and we found some black bear spoor near camp. That night, when we started getting scared, I got my 24 oz claw hammer (same one I built that deck with) and put it near my sleeping bag. My friends thought I was nuts because I said if a bear attacked, me I would be caving it's head in instead of trying to outrun it.
infinite monkey • Jun 1, 2012 10:36 am
Outrun a bear? Are you MAD?

Bear safety.


A bear that stands on its hind feet is usually just trying to get a better look and smell by sniffing the air. This is not an aggressive posture in of itself. It simply means that the bear is unsure of what is in front of him, but still could drop on all fours and charge.

A bear that swings its head from side to side, or turns sideways from you, is expressing a reluctance to charge and is looking for a way out of the situation.

If a bear looks you in the eyes directly and has its ears back, it’s warning that you are too close and feels threatened. A bear may also make barking, woofing or moaning sounds to indicate this.

If a bear "pops" its jaws, it is very agitated and most often will charge. Charges are often a test to resolve a situation and are often "bluff charges" where the bear stops short of you, veers off and runs right past you. A bear might bluff charge many times before leaving. A bear may also bluff charge a few times and then come at you at a different angle.

A bear that does charge, and knocks you down, is attempting to remove a threat. The bear will use as much force as it believes is necessary to remove that threat.

A bear can instantly reach speeds of 30 to 35 miles per hour in a matter of a split second. Never try to outrun a bear, it will only make matters worse


http://www.udap.com/safety.htm

(The More You Know)

I went rugged camping with friends (almost in the UP) and we tied the food in a tree and had a can of bear mace in the middle of camp.
jimhelm • Jun 1, 2012 11:45 am
I learned this later:

You don't have to outrun the bear. You only have to outrun your friends. The same is true of Zombies.
infinite monkey • Jun 1, 2012 12:06 pm
jimhelm;813589 wrote:
I learned this later:

You don't have to outrun the bear. You only have to outrun your friends. The same is true of Zombies.


Well it's easy to outrun zombies! :D
Gravdigr • Jun 1, 2012 2:14 pm
infinite monkey;813591 wrote:
Well it's easy to outrun zombies! :D


No, no...those are the old and busted zombies (think Night of the Living Dead).

We got these new hotness zombies now-a-days (think 28 Days Later). These fuckers are fast.
Ibby • Jun 1, 2012 2:36 pm
Thats an important debate, though, Grav. The ones in 28 Days Later aren't dead - so are they zombies? Same with the zombie vampire things in I Am Legend. I can't think of many other examples of fast zombies outside video games.
I'm thinking of actually starting a thread with a poll. IS IT A ZOMBIE IF IT ISN'T UNDEAD?
Spexxvet • Jun 1, 2012 2:43 pm
Obviously frying pans need to be outlawed. How many more poor, defenseless rabid mountain lions have to die? ;)
Spexxvet • Jun 1, 2012 2:44 pm
Ibram;813614 wrote:
Thats an important debate, though, Grav. The ones in 28 Days Later aren't dead - so are they zombies? Same with the zombie vampire things in I Am Legend. I can't think of many other examples of fast zombies outside video games.
I'm thinking of actually starting a thread with a poll. IS IT A ZOMBIE IF IT ISN'T UNDEAD?


The ones on Walking Dead seem to be fast only when they are in packs. Singly, they're slow M-Fers.
infinite monkey • Jun 1, 2012 2:57 pm
Yeah, I was on that whole Night of the Living and Dawn of the Dead thing.

I never thought zombies would be subject to advances due to technology. Even zombies are sacred no more. :(
Lamplighter • Jun 1, 2012 6:26 pm
Mother Nature Network
June 1, 2012

10 tips for surviving a zombie outbreak
First, you get that creepy-crawly feeling running down your spine.
Crouched low in the shadows, you shift your ax from one hand to the other.
You think you’re alone, but your instincts are telling you otherwise.

Then it happens — screaming out from darkness comes the biggest,
baddest, ugliest walking dead you’ve ever seen. Should you attack?
Should you run? Or should you call in reinforcements?

These are good questions to ask when dealing with a zombie outbreak.
And we have a list of tips that will keep you on your toes
— and alive – during a zombie outbreak.
Sundae • Jun 2, 2012 7:01 am
Gravdigr;813610 wrote:
We got these new hotness zombies now-a-days (think 28 Days Later). These fuckers are fast.

Aren't they though?!
I'd be tempted to become Infected just so I could run like that.
Even with Robert Carlyle as bait I couldn't manage it otherwise.
wolf • Jun 2, 2012 1:08 pm
Never underestimate the power of a good skillet. Kill a mountain lion and fry up some steaks after. Always keep your pan properly seasoned!
Sundae • Jun 2, 2012 1:10 pm
You can kill a bear with a skillet too.
At least if she's really a Native American boinking your father.

Or so says John Irving.
Trilby • Jun 2, 2012 1:19 pm
Tsk tsk - all this violence!

I'm going to start a support group for the Undead. They really seem
to need one. Last few weeks have been a real pr nightmare
for zombies (ie. Face-eating guy in Miami-zomibe in Maryland
and the Canuck pron star who recently ate another dude's torso....)
jimhelm • Jun 2, 2012 2:00 pm
[YOUTUBE]Ci9dCZEF6Mw[/YOUTUBE]
jimhelm • Jun 2, 2012 2:02 pm
oooh! topical!

[YOUTUBE]POtndU2h8yI&start=28[/YOUTUBE]
Gravdigr • Jun 2, 2012 3:21 pm
Ibram;813614 wrote:
...The ones in 28 Days Later aren't dead - so are they zombies?...


Yes, they are not zombies. Good point. That wacky bunch in "28 Days Later" was all virused up or something, and while some movies do get their zombies from/through a disease or some such, they do usually die before becoming too troublesome.
classicman • Jun 3, 2012 12:42 am
Fear not people, the Center or Disease Control has spoken.
wolf • Jun 3, 2012 1:24 am
No, really, they have ...

It started as a joke, and, as it turns out, includes a lot of really good pandemic preparedness information.
Gravdigr • Jun 3, 2012 1:57 pm
I got curious, and...yep.

[COLOR="Red"]*[/COLOR]Rule 34 applies.


[COLOR="Red"]*[/COLOR] - Link [COLOR="Red"]NSFW[/COLOR]
ZenGum • Jun 4, 2012 8:08 am
A few weeks back I was BSing with a mate and we wondered how many hits google would get for Midget Zombie Porn.

936,000, if you're wondering.

"Midget Zombie Porn" narrows it to 19,500.

In both cases the first offering is a youtube clip of "gay interacial midget zombie porn".


There you go.
TheMercenary • Jun 5, 2012 8:46 pm
Gravdigr;813529 wrote:
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived":

Rabid mountain lion in attack mode no match for Chino Valley man and his frying pan

[SIZE="1"]Ok, he's "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived", second only to "That Guy Who Killed A Grizzly Bear With His Bare Hands And A Stick".[/SIZE]


:thumb:
Gravdigr • Jan 10, 2014 5:02 pm
Learned everything he knows from Grandma:

[ATTACH]46456[/ATTACH]

Nancy Wake was a badass.