100 Movies to Miss Before You Die
1) Battleship.
Really, a movie based on that GAME? I'm making a movie about Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Here's the trailer: you see a black screen, and hear munching sounds. The sounds grow louder. All of a sudden, the face of a hippo appears, almost grinning as he masticates. The voiceover says:
"In a world where food is scarce and chaos rules, hungry hippos fight with man in a life and death race for dominance."
Movie poster tagline: The Food Chain Just Got Serious.
Still working on it, though. I also have some ideas for Twister (not the tornado kind, that movie sucked enough in its own right) and Scrabble (In a world where words matter and letters are scarce...)
I enjoyed this line from a review of Battleship.
"With eyes closed, the movie uncannily resembles a giant baby playing with pots and pans. "
2. Titanic
Never watched it. Have no intention of ever watching. *shugs* I know the ending :p
I liked a bit of an interview about Battleship. They were trying to figure out the plot, as there really isn't a credible threat to the modern US Navy. Therefore, aliens!
Not to mention the fact that we don't have battleships anymore; I guess the titular vessel is the alien ship.
Meet the Fockers.
I'll never get those two hours back and *yes* I am still bitter about it.
1) Battleship
2) Titanic
3) Meet the Fockers
4) Eat Pray Love
5. Crash...yeah I know it's supposed to be something special, but it just sounds dul as fuck to me
6. Boxing Helena - the plot just sounds like movieland trying to wrastle with insecure gender roles and play out a fantasy of a helpless woman, who starts out feisty and then falls for her captor. I read the plot and it disgusted me.
[eta] worse even than i thought: according to wiki, the woman at first (helpless, after an accident now with no legs, and then no arms) emasculates her captor (and mutilator) with taunts and a sharp tongue, then softens and falls for him.
I have to be objective and put them all on the list, but I gotta say...Crash is awesome, imho.
1) Battleship
2) Titanic
3) Meet the Fockers
4) Eat Pray Love
5) Crash *
6) Boxing Helena
*thread initiator objection noted
;)
1) Battleship
2) Titanic
3) Meet the Fockers
4) Eat Pray Love
5) Crash *
6) Boxing Helena
7-14) Harry Potter and The Whatever's Anything
15-17) Lord of the Rings ad nauseam
I have to be objective and put them all on the list, but I gotta say...Crash is awesome, imho.
Oh, plus I love the acting. Thandie Newton, Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock does a good job in this one, Michael Pena...I could go on and on, but especially Terrence Howard who has a little somethin' somethin' je ne sais quoi that makes my belly do flips. :p:
ok. That slightly changes my view. Maybe I (pre)judged too quickly on Crash. You're the first person who's really raved it to me. And having seen some of your previous movielikes that makes it at least worth a shot.
Please remove Crash :p
I love the LotR - so I cannot agree there, but
Showgirls
Kill Bill (I think there were a couple)
Eyes Wide Shut (I wish mine were, at least I could have napped)
Twilight Series
:)
If you really want me to remove Crash I will but it's OK if it's on the list...I was going to come back and try to get you to watch it. It was one of those I got cheap and hadn't seen and was like "Best Picture...whut?" and I watched it and loved it. I watched it again the very next day. And again a couple weeks later. It's about racism but it really looks at it from so many points of view it really made me think. Let me know if you watch it if you like it or not. I'd offer to lend it but I lent it to the 'rents and they haven't watched it. I think I scared them off with my insistence on them seeing 127 Hours.
edit: I just saw there was another
Crash made in 1996, with James Spader and Holly Hunter. This is NOT the one I've seen, but it's probably why I was never interested in the
2004 Crash...completely different kind of movie for sure.
classic: I know, but you know how I feel about movies about little kids running around in otherworlds...just not my cup o' tea. ;)
1) Battleship
2) Titanic
3) Meet the Fockers
4) Eat Pray Love
5) Crash *
6) Boxing Helena
7-14) Harry Potter and The Whatever's Anything
15-17) Lord of the Rings ad nauseam
18) Showgirls
19) Kill Bill
20) Eyes Wide Shut
21) Twilight
22) Interview With a Wampire
Dinosaurus!
Like the plague, no one's really in serious danger of accidentally seeing this one these days. But, just like the plague, it is best avoided.
It's not because it was a movie made in the 60s, which produced monster special effects that look lower than lo-fi and entirely laughable these days. It's because it was just so bad on all fronts... acting, script, plot... okay, the wide scenery and establishing shots were nice but that's about it.
1) Battleship
2) Titanic
3) Meet the Fockers
4) Eat Pray Love
5) Crash *
6) Boxing Helena
7-14) Harry Potter and The Whatever's Anything
15-17) Lord of the Rings ad nauseam
18) Showgirls
19) Kill Bill
20) Eyes Wide Shut
21) Twilight
22) Interview With a Wampire
23) Dinosaurus!
Ahhh....different Crash.
I was thinking of the Spader one.
Mixed Nuts, with Steve Martin.
Saw it in the theater. It's the only movie I ever walked out of because it was so bad. I walked out of another movie too, but they were having projector problems.
Seriously. It's terrible. And I LIKE Steve Martin.
Ahhh....different Crash.
I was thinking of the Spader one.
Yeah, isn't that weird? So you DO need to see the other one. I think you'd like it.
Mixed Nuts, with Steve Martin.
Saw it in the theater. It's the only movie I ever walked out of because it was so bad. I walked out of another movie too, but they were having projector problems.
Seriously. It's terrible. And I LIKE Steve Martin.
I'll stick it in Crash space 5.
1) Battleship
2) Titanic
3) Meet the Fockers
4) Eat Pray Love
5) Mixed Nuts
6) Boxing Helena
7-14) Harry Potter and The Whatever's Anything
15-17) Lord of the Rings ad nauseam
18) Showgirls
19) Kill Bill
20) Eyes Wide Shut
21) Twilight
22) Interview With a Wampire
23) Dinosaurus!
I loved Interview with a Wampire. was the first movie that I really liked Cruise in.
Incidentally, have any of youse seen boxing Helena? is it as horrible as I think it might be?
The entire Need for Speed, car race movie genre.
I think I saw Wampire (chuckles) but I don't remember it.
1) Battleship
2) Titanic
3) Meet the Fockers
4) Eat Pray Love
5) Mixed Nuts
6) Boxing Helena
7-14) Harry Potter and The Whatever's Anything
15-17) Lord of the Rings ad nauseam
18) Showgirls
19) Kill Bill
20) Eyes Wide Shut
21) Twilight
22) Interview With a Wampire
23) Dinosaurus!
24) Need for Speed
I won't be here tomorrow and will be leaving here soon so if someone wants to add the new entries it's okey-dokey with me.
Staff retreat, actually. But it's going to be a blast.
How much you want to bet I get the Office Clown award? :lol:
Dunder Mifflin has nothing on us!
I loved Interview with a Wampire. was the first movie that I really liked Cruise in.
Incidentally, have any of youse seen boxing Helena? is it as horrible as I think it might be?
I haven't. I could be wrong but it doesn't sound all that good to me either.
sidenote: anyone remember Elaine on Seinfeld hating, I mean HATING the English Patient? Too funny!
[Elaine and Peterman are watching "The English Patient". Elaine is about to freak out of boredom]
Elaine Benes: [quietly] No. I can't do this any more. I can't. It's too long.
Elaine Benes: [yells] Quit telling your stupid story about the stupid desert, and just die already! DIE!
J. Peterman: [surprised] Elaine, you don't like the movie?
Elaine Benes: [shouts] I hate it!
[the audience shushes Elaine]
Elaine Benes: [shouts back] Oh, go to hell!
I've not seen it, but it's going on the list!
1) Battleship
2) Titanic
3) Meet the Fockers
4) Eat Pray Love
5) Mixed Nuts
6) Boxing Helena
7-14) Harry Potter and The Whatever's Anything
15-17) Lord of the Rings ad nauseam
18) Showgirls
19) Kill Bill
20) Eyes Wide Shut
21) Twilight
22) Interview With a Wampire
23) Dinosaurus!
24) Need for Speed
25) The English Patient
I thought Boxing Helena was okay.
It's a verbal film predominently and explores the psychology of relationships and control.
Epic Movie.
Absolutely the worst film I have ever seen in my life.
And it's not even one of those films that you can laugh at for being bad. It's just too bad even for that.
It was like three years ago I saw it and I am still filled with rage whenever I think of it.
Any sequel numbered three or higher. Twos are often bad, bot not every time.
Fantasia 2000. Just watch the original, twice. And maybe the bit with the flamingos with a yo-yo.
Honourable mention: Battlefield Earth. So appallingly, cringingly, cornily terrible, it transcends mere badness and becomes awesome.
The Human Centipede
Now of course, I'm saying that without having seen this particular masterwork of ridiculousness, but I have it on good authority that the suckage level is unsurpassable.
This is difficult, because the movies here must be so bad and without redeeming social value that they aren't comically entertaining. You know, like Santa Claus versus the Martians or The Stuff. I seriously loved The Stuff.
I thought we were supposed to say movies which we were choosing never to see anyway, as opposed to ones we've seen and which are so bad they should never be watched by anybody.
I'm doing it right, then. Thanks.
The Human Centipede
Watched it out of curiousity. And because I wanted to test my gag reflex. It was grim, but palateable, if you get what I mean. Nasty but watchable. When I saw it was on a satellite channel I even Sky+d it and watched it again.
I thought we were supposed to say movies which we were choosing never to see anyway, as opposed to ones we've seen and which are so bad they should never be watched by anybody.
Ah. Now I thought the opposite. Because how can you really judge before you watch it? Unless you are Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells writing into the Mail?
Accept YMMV.
I was being Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells :p
I thought you were Angry of Manchester.
[YOUTUBE]RnW8dmJ0Fl4[/YOUTUBE]
No rules. Warning others of movies to miss is a valuable service.
Hobo with a Shotgun
Saw it. Really only suitable for Rutger Hauer fanboys/girls with a Pokemon gotta-catch-em-all obsession.
I think the saturation controls were stuck on "acid trip" during the production of this film.
Head.
And I REALLY love the Monkees.
Pirates of the Carribean 4. We both fell asleep
Divergent. Saw it tonight and wish I'd seen monster's warning about the book in time, because the movie really bites the big one. It's bad on every level, including the fact that it wastes 2 1/2 hours of your life. Do. Not. Bother.
Eta: oops. It was wolf's warning.
Man of Steel
Saving Mr. Banks
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234817/?ref_=fn_tt_tt_1
"The Strangeness"
Made by friends in college. VERY low budget. The "monster" was made to look like a giant vagina. lol
I used to work for them at the software company they founded.
Ironically, they won an Academy Award for their software.
I have a copy of the movie that they gave me. :D
"American Hustle" Smell that? Yeah, "American Hustle" smells. Bad.
Really bad.
The story line wasn't real biblical which I expected... actually hoped. The special effects were good, but that's to be expected in the age of CGI. At 2:18 run time, it was too long... way too long.
Doesn't sound that bad, you say... what's the problem, you ask?
Glad you asked, Russell Fucking Crowe! That cocksucker has never enunciated a word in his life. I couldn't understand one word he was saying for 2 hours and 18 minutes. OK, I don't hear well, but in a theater with good sound, and new hearing aids, I should be able to get some of it. MY partner in crime said she could get about half of his mumblings.
Now this is a dark, moody, sort of noir feeling movie and the conversations hardly light and bubbly. so some low talking is expected.
BUT, we were mumbling along when Crowe, in a wet cave with the same mood, has a conversation with Anthony Hopkins. Both speaking at the same level, in the same tone, but I could understand every fucking word from Hopkins.
Ok, Hopkins is classically trained, and an exceptional actor, but I could understand most of what the other actors were saying. No, it's Crowe, he sucks.
I enjoyed Crowe in the Insider, but mostly I don't care for the guy.
The story line wasn't real biblical which I expected... actually hoped.
Yeah, the pastor at our church told the congregation that it was "something interesting that can prompt useful discussions, but inaccurate on many points." I'm baffled how such a movie could get made--they were never going to get a large portion of the secular population to see it regardless, but then they alienate the majority of the religious population as well? There's a model for Christian pandering in filmmaking, and this ain't it. I don't know how much they spent on it, but I bet it loses a ton of money.
I find Crowe easy enough to watch, but, he's a low-talker.
And he mumbles, too, which compounds the low-talking.
...they were never going to get a large portion of the secular population to see it regardless, but then they alienate the majority of the religious population as well?
The seculars may want to tee Noah's allies, the things made of rocks.
The religious conservatives might see it, but only to be knowledgeable in their edification of the masses, not because they're addicted to popcorn.;)
100 movies to miss:
Glengarry Glen Ross
Year of Living Dangerously
To Live And Die In L.A.
The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak
The seculars may want to tee Noah's allies, the things made of rocks.
The religious conservatives might see it, but only to be knowledgeable in their edification of the masses, not because they're addicted to popcorn.;)
...tee Noah's allies... tee? WTF was I thinking? Obviously nothing. :lol2:
2. Titanic
Never watched it. Have no intention of ever watching. *shugs* I know the ending :p
Was recently aboard the Queen Mary... entertaining a Steampunk convention. Got buffet breakfast out of the deal. Included, mind you, on a ship of that vintage and style, drinking a big glass of ice water. Water. With ice in it. On an old liner.
Unsettling, really.
... what's the problem, you ask?
Glad you asked, Russell Fucking Crowe! That cocksucker has never enunciated a word in his life. . .
BUT, we were mumbling along when Crowe, in a wet cave with the same mood, has a conversation with Anthony Hopkins. Both speaking at the same level, in the same tone, but I could understand every fucking word from Hopkins.
Ok, Hopkins is classically trained, and an exceptional actor, but I could understand most of what the other actors were saying. No, it's Crowe, he sucks.
HIs diction was much better in
Master & Commander.Was recently aboard the Queen Mary... entertaining a Steampunk convention.
Please tell the story.
Not much to say; it was rather shortfused to begin with. Couple of very literary fans with some novels to their credit wanted to do a Cthulhu-related dramatic presentation for the brunch crowd and their regular cast couldn't make the gig that day, so these fellows cast around and found the wife and me to play robed and hooded acolytes. We started with a selection of well-filked Cthulhu cult hymns and a sing-along... let's just say Ein Feste Burg got really perverted. The drama involved a soap bubble machine as an invocation of Yog-Sothoth -- "I [devotee of Cthulhu] declare a schism!!" And those daisy-wand bubble wands to make more bubbles, one for each hooded acolyte -- a good thing, because the center-stage bubble machine failed to work. It don't go so good even when you've filled up its solution reservoir according to directions, if you stumble and spill most of it getting it up to the lectern ten seconds before you start the show.
I hung out stage left, plied my bubble wand, chanted cultishly, wagged my head like a Muppet a lot. When they got round to the "Ia! Ias!" of ritual import, I weighed in with "Ia! Ia! You betcha!" and got a laugh.
We were there a couple-three hours total, what with everything. Admired lots of steampunk outfits -- figure late Victorian and Edwardian, gone Jules Verne on a modest dose of acid -- but didn't put foot in the huckster room at all.
Another to miss:
Big Kahuna
Not much to say; it was rather shortfused to begin with. Couple of very literary fans with some novels to their credit wanted to do a Cthulhu-related dramatic presentation for the brunch crowd and their regular cast couldn't make the gig that day, so these fellows cast around and found the wife and me to play robed and hooded acolytes. We started with a selection of well-filked Cthulhu cult hymns and a sing-along... let's just say Ein Feste Burg got really perverted. The drama involved a soap bubble machine as an invocation of Yog-Sothoth -- "I [devotee of Cthulhu] declare a schism!!" And those daisy-wand bubble wands to make more bubbles, one for each hooded acolyte -- a good thing, because the center-stage bubble machine failed to work. It don't go so good even when you've filled up its solution reservoir according to directions, if you stumble and spill most of it getting it up to the lectern ten seconds before you start the show.
I hung out stage left, plied my bubble wand, chanted cultishly, wagged my head like a Muppet a lot. When they got round to the "Ia! Ias!" of ritual import, I weighed in with "Ia! Ia! You betcha!" and got a laugh.
We were there a couple-three hours total, what with everything. Admired lots of steampunk outfits -- figure late Victorian and Edwardian, gone Jules Verne on a modest dose of acid -- but didn't put foot in the huckster room at all.
Sounds like fun, but I wouldn't have been able to resist the hucksters...
I haven't even heard of it.
Was it a horrible one?
I bought it because it was supposed to be great. It had a great mystery to it throughout, but the end was such a let down. it made me hate the movie. who knows what happened. even if what i think happened actually did, it was the most anticlimactic ending. I sold the blu ray right away
*puts fingers in ears* la da da dee da daaaaa
I looked up that movie and it got good reviews at Rotten Tomatoes, so I went to the video store and got it. I'll let you know what I think after I watch it. I love love love scary suspense.
In ONLY my opinion, the rotten tomatoes rating is what surprised me, CLEARLY i think i missed something, lol. Yeah, let me know
OK, crossflix. Thank you! I loved it. I thought it was very well done. As to the ending (without giving anything away) I liked it. I have a great ability for suspension of disbelief, to a point and if there's a purpose or an outcome I desire. This movie did a great job in pulling me slowly into the suspense. Yet I found myself envisioning this outcome or that outcome. As you know, I was looking too far ahead. I liked the ending, I can't imagine it any other way. Or, I can imagine it, and that's the beauty of it. ;)
Thanks for the recommendation.
Welcome to The Cellar. Do you have any more movie gems to share? :)
Has anyone seen In Fear?
EEK!!! The trailer was bad enough.
inifinite monkey, Im glad you liked it and that I was able to give you a successful recommendation:)
Sweeney Todd with Helana Bonham Carter. I still can't believe it took me over one hour to realize it was a musical. badbadbad
Sweeney Todd with Helana Bonham Carter. I still can't believe it took me over one hour to realize it was a musical. badbadbad
So do i understand correctly that because of the late realization, you thought it was a bad movie? No judgement, just clarification.
bad, as in I was miserable and depressed watching it.
i bought Sweeney Todd a while ago, but it has remained unopened. Don't remember any of the movie. All i remember was that i was surprised to hear Johnny Depp sing
I watched in fear last night and it was ok. Not my genre.
Also the boyfriend plays Fitz on SHIELD
Funny
Iain De Caestecker. I like that lad. He's a really good actor. I so wish that BBC hadn't dropped Fades after the first series - he was awesome in that.
I'll have to see that. I like the awkward tension/denial between him and Simmons in SHIELD.
Iron Eagle 1-4
You Don't Mess With The Zohan
Cool World
Netflix or someone should totally do a second series of fades - though it would be difficult to get the cast now as they've all moved onto other stuff.
The one short series they did was brilliant - and whilst it more or less concluded that part of the story it ended with the suggestion of where it might go next.
The best thing about it, aside from the spooky shit, was the friendship between the two lead characters, both teenage lads. It was one of the best written friendships I've seen on tv.
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters
I'd read somewehere this was not as bad as it might sound, I was mislead.
The Purge. The characters are too stupid for you to suspend belief.
Pamela, I enjoyed Don't Mess With The Zohan.