Abuse (Lets Deal With it)

JBKlyde • Feb 18, 2012 1:26 pm
Well to be honest I don't trust myself around women that is why I don't even try to find a girl friend. When I was a kid I was subject to abuse from my dad and I credit myself to liberating my mother from the strong hold of my fathers abuse. The Irony now everyone thinks I'm some monster tor-wards women because of some of the ridiculousness I've verbally done on the net. While yes I have crossed the line, NO I don't think I'm an abuser. However I don't think I even know how to have a relationship so I'm just gonna stay single till I find a woman who is stronger than me who can keep me in check an keep me in love.

qcc??
__________________
Sundae • Feb 18, 2012 2:23 pm
Quid pro quo
JBKlyde • Feb 18, 2012 2:49 pm
fefe fi fofo fefe fi fo fo, I don't know no fefe.
Undertoad • Feb 18, 2012 3:40 pm
Did you ever get therapy specifically for the abuse?
JBKlyde • Feb 18, 2012 3:51 pm
Yes, I did when my parents got divorced my mom sent me to a therapist.
Undertoad • Feb 18, 2012 6:40 pm
That's good! Do you feel it was helpful?
JBKlyde • Feb 18, 2012 7:19 pm
The only thing that I got out of it was that "the grass wasn't any greener on the other side".
sexobon • Feb 18, 2012 9:21 pm
Are you saying that you were no better off after your parents got divorced?
JBKlyde • Feb 19, 2012 11:04 am
I dunno they separated when I was 15 and I was free as a 'wild child' I got away with things I would have never gotten away with if my dad was around..
sexobon • Feb 19, 2012 7:52 pm
What caused that situation to eventually change?
JBKlyde • Feb 19, 2012 8:37 pm
My Dad went back to school and studied construction engineering and left my mom and us to fend for ourselves.. she kept the house and went broke.. he stayed away and now he works as an engineer.. The older we got the more ridiculous it got but when I flunked out of college It was a very humbling experience and I realized that family was more important than money so now I just unconditional forgive them both.

Where's My 2 dollars??
sexobon • Feb 19, 2012 9:13 pm
JBKlyde;796559 wrote:
... Where's My 2 dollars??

Here's your tip:
A
Better
Understanding
Serves
Everyone
JBKlyde • Feb 20, 2012 3:12 pm
Fear
Love
Anger
Sad
Happy

all other emotions can be derived from that.
sexobon • Feb 20, 2012 3:44 pm
Which is jealously/envy derived from?
infinite monkey • Feb 20, 2012 4:26 pm
Fear.
sexobon • Feb 20, 2012 4:50 pm
I can be envious of what someone else has attained or achieved while being happy for them and their accomplishment without fear entering into it because it's a matter of respect.

Which is respect derived from?
JBKlyde • Feb 20, 2012 5:15 pm
I don't know enough about emotions to get to into it. I learned that association from a recovered alcoholic.
classicman • Feb 20, 2012 5:42 pm
IM wrote:
Jesus H MOther of Gob...amazing

FTW!

bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
it • Feb 26, 2012 6:55 am
your already not a truly abusive person for one simply reason: you are able to recognize your own potentially hurtful behaviors, which means you can see it from the other side's point of view.

now its not that i am the master of experience, far from it, but i am pretty sure most people deal with all of the same crap - feeling jealous, feeling under-appreciated & un-admired, times where the relationship serves as more stress then a haven, anger, annoyance, self sacrifice tied with resentment & selfishness tied with guilt, etc... just to name a few. regardless, all the crap that drives people towards abuse is there in... well, humans.

so i think the question is: how good are you at taking care of your own crap before you let it hurt the people you love?
JBKlyde • Feb 26, 2012 5:47 pm
so i think the question is: how good are you at taking care of your own crap before you let it hurt the people you love?

horrible
it • Feb 26, 2012 11:10 pm
JBKlyde;797879 wrote:
so i think the question is: how good are you at taking care of your own crap before you let it hurt the people you love?

horrible


so figure out what psychological tools are you missing to deal with it on your own turf, build them, and go back to the game.