Misfortune Cookies
They ought to exist.
it is too late for happiness
Your unlucky numbers are any numbers ending in 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, all multiple of 2
Someone close to you will die before you have a chance to ask them
You have heart of fruitfly
Winning lottery number is W
Good Futures are all behind you
Happy endings out of stock
I know you can do better
(^see, that's probably my best one)
Ha! I didn't even think to search, I was just getting slightly irritated by the latest apparent facebook fad of sharing your fortune...... Ann Arborites eat way too much Chinese food methinks.
I still think we can do better.
"you will die alone and poorly dressed" .....bring it! If I died well dressed it would be because I'd been a veg for long enough that nursing home volunteers were choosing my outfits......
your posterior does not look big, it looks hippopotamus.
erectile disfunction is foretold for you
your enema will be strong and numerous
your nude pictures await your discovery on the internet
This is your last fortune cookie ever!
we saw you make slitty eye sign behind waiter back
You so stupid, you think cookie know better than you.
You right.
you just ate that cookie, didn't you?
"You will die like a dog for no good reason."
Not mine, but Hemingway's. But it seems appropriate here.
Your gender will be defined for you
Your gender role is pre-determined
Your egg roll is pre-despermined
They DO exist!
Yes, yes, they do. And they're sold in 5 pound bags. Their store is about 15 minutes from my house.
Tsue Chong Fortune Cookie & Noodle FactoryYou're ugly and your mother dresses you funny
Cook who make cream sauce is masturbator
employees don't wash hands after using potty
You suck
My dog was named Mein. He was Chow
The thing your mother warned you about will happen.
Your worries are right - your genitals are mis-shapen.
The one you depend on the most will abandon you.
You are right to fear the stairs.
You waste of cheap cookie.
Is this a new genre: insult cookies?
Sounds like a marketing plan.
Yes, that was mouse dung. Too bad you ate this cookie last.
Me chinese, me play joke....etc.
Meet me in the ladies' room
My kitty, Mao, say meow
Round eyes will be shot at 9pm
When they write your obituary, they will spell your name wrong.
Help! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!
You will fart loudly during the benediction prayer.
I think this piece of paper is mostly filler
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All your graffiti will be painted over.
Empty fortune cookies are far more disturbing.
Surely no more disturbing than those filled with cockroaches?
You will not get any Valentines Day cards this year.
Oh wait, that's not misfortune, or even ironic (sorry Alanis).
Just reality :sniff:
