Bad Manners
Talking with food in your mouth
Chewing with your mouth open
Elbows on the table during dinner
Pointing
Interrupting a conversation
Talking about money -stock market excluded
Talking about your charity -other than inviting other to a benefit you are hosting or a project you are undertaking
Assuming religious beliefs in conversation
Taking a phone call in the middle of a conversation
Ditto texts
Turning on the TV without checking with other in the room
Ditto changing channel
No eye contact in conversation
and this:
[YOUTUBE]F6fQnTyEniM[/YOUTUBE]
feel free to add :)
texting at table and other tech interfacing when in human company
Pointing I'm not sure about.
If asked where the pharmacy is in the store, I will point as well as direct verbally (if there is a queue I cannot leave my till).
Pointing may mean something different to you.
Treating people differently according to their (perceived) social status.
What she said.
I would add: Treating people differently according to their (perceived) intelligence.
And:
Ignoring people.
whatever
I deal with bad manners all damn day. Guys walk into my office talking... like they begin before they actually enter the room.... and you can't see if there's someone at my desk, or if I'm on the phone...
And this one fucker.... he always uses my stapler... which I keep to my left... and just leaves it out in the middle of the desk when he's done...
I think I'll go punch him in the kidney right now, unprovoked.
I was in the book store yesterday and there was a guy with a big round belly. I had a strong urge to rub his belly for luck, but not everyone has good manners so I wasn't sure how he would react.
He might have french kissed you.
I consider it quite rude for people to shoot at me just because I'm walking around their country carrying two weapons and around 360 rounds of ammo on my person. Oh, and Jim I'd love to come up and take care of that stapler guy. Is your stapler purple by chance?
Eating while being waited on at the desk.
Eating while walking (unless you're at, like, the county fair...sit down for a second and eat.)
Really, any eating I have to witness or listen to. It's gross.
Spitting on the sidewalk (why do I want to walk through your goo?)
Not holding the door for someone close behind you.
Not participating in the bob and weave of passing someone who is walking the same path as you but in the opposite direction. Oh, yeah, I don't get out of their way when they play that superiority game. They make no move to move, I make no move to move. If we bump, I wait to see their reaction. If it's accusatory, I have words for them. Have some respect and be aware that others live on the planet and in reality are NOT beneath you, not by a long shot.
Leaving Wendy's and turning the impossible left turn, but taking up the left and right lanes to do it, so no one can make a right. This holds for intersections and such, too. Oblivious and stupid? Or rude and uncaring? Both, probably.
Ignoring people.
Interesting idea, seeing as the most polite way to deal with unpleasant, irritating and rude behaviour is usually to ignore it. :)
The Cellar would be untenable if some people didn't have the ability to ignore others :2cents:
Refusal to wait in line/queue -pushing to the front. Especially the people who do this when there is very clearly a line
Being stinky in public. Some people can't help it/have medical problems, I know, but really, it can't be as many as I've encountered over the last few days. Did Santa stop giving out deodorant and soap?
Ignoring people.
Only Gravdigr can fully explain what he means, but to me, I thought he meant someone totally ignoring someone else asking you a question is rude. If someone is not being unpleasant, has irritating and rude behavior, then it's rude to ignore him/her. Well, just my interpretation.
I consider it quite rude for people to shoot at me just because I'm walking around their country carrying two weapons and around 360 rounds of ammo on my person. Oh, and Jim I'd love to come up and take care of that stapler guy. Is your stapler purple by chance?
I agree. That is extremely rude. :p:
Salespeople who answer the phone while you are right in front of them interacting on a purchase.
Buh bye. You will NOT get my business.
Oh, and Jim I'd love to come up and take care of that stapler guy. Is your stapler purple by chance?
I got a few peeps as well ... Is there a group discount?
You pay for the gas, I'll take the heat. I can blame it all on PTSD.
whatever
And this one fucker.... he always uses my stapler... which I keep to my left... and just leaves it out in the middle of the desk when he's done...
I think I'll go punch him in the kidney right now, unprovoked.
Take all the staples out of that stapler and use it as a desk ornament until "fucker" makes a habit of going elsewhere and hide another stapler for your use. Not as permanent as a kidney punch... ;)
Refusal to wait in line/queue -pushing to the front. Especially the people who do this when there is very clearly a line
Being stinky in public. Some people can't help it/have medical problems, I know, but really, it can't be as many as I've encountered over the last few days. Did Santa stop giving out deodorant and soap?
I thought you did not shop at Wal Mat? :eyebrow:
I thought you did not shop at Wal Mat? :eyebrow:
Why would you think that?
Orphaning AND ignoring.
-
Pointing
Pointing I'm not sure about.
If asked where the pharmacy is in the store, I will point as well as direct verbally (if there is a queue I cannot leave my till).
Pointing may mean something different to you.
Ignoring people.
I'm with Grav. It hurts :(
Eating while walking (unless you're at, like, the county fair...sit down for a second and eat.)
Nanny considered this rude too. It came to me via her and Mum.
I'm less strict about it now, but I do still suffer some discomfort if circumstances require me to eat on the move (including nowhere to sit and/ or time constraints). Our family exception is at the seaside, which I guess has the same flavour as a county fair.
Chips (fries), ice cream, hot dog, donuts in a bag etc.
Sorry you feel ignored Sundae. I didn't feel that there was anything to add. Would it not be kind of crazy if everybody replied to every post even when they had nothing to say?
I like crazy.
Although I am genuinely interested in how pointing can be rude.
I was just brought up that it was, and so to me it is. Here's an example
http://cellar.org/showthread.php?p=783382#post783382
http://www.essortment.com/social-etiquette-36808.html
For future reference, perhaps it would be more polite to ask specifically if further clarification is required, then one would not feel ignored if one did not get an answer to the question one did not actually ask :)
Like "Hey guys my 3 year tormenter/thief/crazy fuckhead may be lurking right outside my house right now and all I have is a big knife but i'll try to kill him before he kills me" being met by "I had a chocolate hamburger for christmas and boy was it great" which is followed by thirteen pages about the fucking chocolate hamburger like "OMG I LOVE YOU FOR LOVING THE CHOCOLATE HAMBURGER YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND I AM PUTTING YOU IN THE HALL OF FAME NOW CAN I FUCK YOU AND WE'RE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR LETTING US ALL KNOW ABOUT THE AMAZING CHOCOLATE HAMBURGER AND DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN MAKE HAMBURGERS FROM DEER MEAT IF YOU ADD PERSTOTINATUSITES, WHICH DEGRADE THE DEER INTO COW AND HERE IS A PICTURE OF A NAIL I FOUND ON THE GROUND IT'S REALLY AMAZING BECAUSE I THINK IT'S FROM 1998 WHICH IS REALLY RARE IN A NAIL..."
That kind of thing.
Except you, monster, you were kind enough to give a crap. :lol:
I was? Must be slipping...... as you were.......
I know.
I never worried it would permeate the rest of the place, so all is good, as you are.
85% of all lightbulbs fail when they are sprayed with pepper spray.
You mean like that?
We have gone cross threaded.
Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the THREADS.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon
Bad manners is when your child is at a restaurant with you and is being a shithead and you don't either leave or at least stop the child from it's disruptive, inappropriate behaviour.
Or when you are at the grocery store and your baby is crying because its tired/hungry/sick and you really need to get a few things and some old biddy body behind you is huffing and tsking because you cant stop your baby crying.
;)
...Although I am genuinely interested in how pointing can be rude.
Pointing, the child said "Hahahaha, look at that hunchback!"
[Size=1]Pointing...that's a strange name for a child...[/Size]
Or when you are at the grocery store and your baby is crying because its tired/hungry/sick and you really need to get a few things and some old biddy body behind you is huffing and tsking because you cant stop your baby crying.
;)
Nah, not just whining. That's not so bad. Most parents wouldn't go out to a place like that with a child who's just going to complain the whole time anyway. I'm talking about parents who take their kids to al la carte restaurants which are meant for adults (imo generally) and let them run around and do kiddy type things which, while they might be cute to the parents, can be seriously dangerous for wait staff, and seriously annoying to other diners. Particularly the ones who were considerate enough to get a baby sitter for their own sproglettes. ;)
... Pointing ...
:mock:
...Treating people differently according to their (perceived) intelligence. ...
:wstupid:
...Really, any eating I have to witness or listen to. ...
:corn:
I was in the book store yesterday and there was a guy with a big round belly. I had a strong urge to rub his belly for luck, but not everyone has good manners so I wasn't sure how he would react.
When you are pregnant, total strangers actually do come up and do this. It is fucking annoying.
That's why you need a taser.
When you are pregnant, total strangers actually do come up and do this. It is fucking annoying.
When work colleagues are pregnant they think you
want to touch the distended egg sac and feel it move.
No!
I never caressed you when you worked next to me, why would I want to now?
And then, because you are childless and have definite political views and talk about gender issues and deplore homophobia you are suddenly the
unnatural one in the group!
That's why you need a taser.
there are safer, more humane ways to induce labor you know.
In all the time I've been pregnant, which would be close to 30 months of my life, I don't think a stranger ever touched my belly, and even close friends and family asked first or waited for an invitation.
Maybe I send off a 'don't touch me' vibe irl too.
Merkins are more invasive than Brits in this field, I've found. I guess Aussies probably have a different norm too. No-one ever asked to touch my belly in the UK, never mind try to do so without asking.
Nah, not just whining. That's not so bad. Most parents wouldn't go out to a place like that with a child who's just going to complain the whole time anyway. I'm talking about parents who take their kids to al la carte restaurants which are meant for adults (imo generally) and let them run around and do kiddy type things which, while they might be cute to the parents, can be seriously dangerous for wait staff, and seriously annoying to other diners. Particularly the ones who were considerate enough to get a baby sitter for their own sproglettes. ;)
I knew what you meant, luvly.
I am waaaaaay too uptight with the kids at restaurants that I didnt take them when they were younger.
Actually, Im pretty strict on them in public as a rule. I dont think other people should have to hear them fighting, bitching, whining or being otherwise annoying.
Im more tolerant of other peoples kids than mine, but I swear squealing kids do my head in. I will walk out rather than put up with a squealing kid.
I pinched Addison under the bicep one day because he thought squealing in public was fun, soon changed that squeal to a squalk and when people looked they didnt know what had happened :) he stopped pretty quickly.
Yeah, squealing gives me the shits too. lol
I can deal with children from four upwards now.
I think I probably could before, but I found them harder to tune out.
Still fret about childer running amok - but now it's omreo worry that they'll come a cropper, rather than keeping my fingers crossed they'll trip up a waiter with a sizzling plate and get what they deserve.
It's the wordless wailing and repetition (usually associated with the Terrible Twos) and the randomn shrieks of those younger that still afflict me. Urgh. SHUT UP!
Mum says she and Dad didn't sit together in Mass for about four years thanks to me and my sister. One of them was always stationed close to the exit in case there was trouble. It was usually with me, squirming and talking and wriggling and crying when I wasn't allowed my own way. I was Godless even then it seems.
But chops to them for not wanting to drown out other people's communion with God.
... omreo ...
Keyboard trouble :eyebrow: ?
oreo. They might crush them if they trip.
Talking about money -stock market excluded
wow... no talking about money? your not jewish are you...
seriously? price shifts? legal tax loopholes? extra profit sources? ways to save? ways for building credit ratings? heroic stories about how you got the bank manager to do his or her job?
you actually have a social convention against exchanging some of the most useful information any household need in order to make a saving?
i mean, i understand now why so many of my conversations when i lived in canada and the US made people feel uncomfortable, this does explain a lot...
but still seems really really redicules.
wait... so we exchange financial information with each other while avoiding it with others because they behave all uncomfortable... omg we really do have a conspirecy! why didn't i notice that?
I think it's more contextual than that. Rather than a blanket rule.
Also, I don't know, but I suspect that this maybe slightly different in Britain.
@ Monster: have you noticed any difference in the way money is spoken about?
i mean, i understand now why so many of my conversations when i lived in canada and the US made people feel uncomfortable, this does explain a lot...
Dude, she's a Brit expat.
There are some conversations that do cross lines though, like bragging on screwing the rest of the population by hiding your mother's assets so she could go on the dole, to reference one "conversation" I sat through. There are folks so fascinated by money that it alters there every human interaction because they're always looking for an angle. Good advice is appreciated but a very rare commodity.
Keyboard trouble :eyebrow: ?
"more" or "more a"
Well translated there, sir!
I struggled to work it out myself.
here's a piece of contextual manners which most people here might not be able to relate to, and that is the required piece conversation that has to happen whenever two middle eastern immigrants from different countries interact in a 3rd country.
where are you from? [insert country]
o, and you? [insert country]
o its ok its just politics!
yea, [insert conflict between countries] is all the politician's fault!
ofcourse, its all the politicans! the people want peace!
I am pro peace too! always protested against the wars!
me too! my [insert far away relative] was in the resistence!
yea we're ok its just the politicans!
so... how much is the taxi fair to go downtown?
There are folks so fascinated by money that it alters there every human interaction because they're always looking for an angle.
And that's why you don't talk to people in "network sales" or pyramid schemes... Ever. Not an Hello, nothing. If they are occuping the space in front of you in the supermarket and won't move to the side, you grunt loudly with a threatening tone.
trac, how much do you earn?
trac, how much do you earn?
absolutely nothing. for the last 18 months i was a male housewife throughout what turned out to be a way to long immigratoin process in canada and couldn't legally work, and before it got done - two weeks ago - my wife throw me out [of the country] with nothing. not even 2.75CAD for the bus to reach the airport. i had to go manchild mode and ask my mother to help with the tickets. now i am starting here from scretch. the only financial advice i can give is how to minimize expanses.
how about you?
Don't be so rude. You're kind of bitter.... See why it's just best not discussed? No, maybe you won't....
- - -
Next on my list, sniffing in public -and I can let a delicate sniff to avoid a drip pass, but the whole suck-it-back-up-for-later-chewing-purposes, for fuck's sake go to the bathroom and get rid of that gloop. in private. ugh.
absolutely nothing. for the last 18 months i was a male housewife throughout what turned out to be a way to long immigratoin process in canada and couldn't legally work, and before it got done - two weeks ago - my wife throw me out [of the country] with nothing. not even 2.75CAD for the bus to reach the airport. i had to go manchild mode and ask my mother to help with the tickets. now i am starting here from scretch. the only financial advice i can give is how to minimize expanses.
how about you?
Ohhh, harsh! When my ex (Yank) and I split, he left the country too. I was PISSED. I had put a lot of time and money into getting him resident status and he was only 8 months away. He wouldnt stay until that time came.
Money wise he was ok, he didnt earn for 3 years and I supported him, when it came time for him to bolt off home to mummy, he had just started earning - so he cashed in all this earnings and took that with him.
Havent had a cent from him since :)
I have no problems talking about money, but I wont bring the topic up first.
Don't be so rude. You're kind of bitter.... See why it's just best not discussed? No, maybe you won't....
.
To be fair, from what Trace says discussing wages and stuff isn't considered rude in Israel. And he is communicating in a second language. Some of the subtleties of what specifically can be said about money before it becomes rude may not be apparent.
to be fair, I'm demonstrating how what's rude for one is not necessarily rude for another and vice versa.
absolutely nothing. for the last 18 months i was a male housewife throughout what turned out to be a way to long immigratoin process in canada and couldn't legally work, and before it got done - two weeks ago - my wife throw me out [of the country] with nothing. not even 2.75CAD for the bus to reach the airport. i had to go manchild mode and ask my mother to help with the tickets. now i am starting here from scretch. the only financial advice i can give is how to minimize expanses.
how about you?
That sounds like a really terrible situation traceur. I hope you get back on your feet quickly.
I don't know if these people are just plainly not polite or it's simply not rude for Vietnamese people to:
1. Ask for your age.
2. Ask for you weight and/or call you fat. Sometimes you'd get a bonus with a description. example: Lola, your face is as round as a full moon!
3. Ask how much you make....yeah, seriously. Then that person will comment how rich or poor you are. :neutral:
4. Ask how much your blouse, purse, shoes, whatever you have that that person is interested in knowing the price. Then he/she will say how rich you are if it's a costly piece of item. Well, costly or not is relative. And no, he/she isn't really interested in buying the inquired item. They just want to know how much you put out for your stuffs. :rolleyes:
Is it okay for Americans to ask if a person is married or not or in a relationship or not? Just wondering because Vietnamese people will straight out ask this too.
By the way, Traceur, sorry about your situation, man. I hope things will get better for you soon.
thanks people, monster - good job.
I don't know if these people are just plainly not polite or it's simply not rude for Vietnamese people to:
1. Ask for your age.
2. Ask for you weight and/or call you fat. Sometimes you'd get a bonus with a description. example: Lola, your face is as round as a full moon!
3. Ask how much you make....yeah, seriously. Then that person will comment how rich or poor you are. :neutral:
4. Ask how much your blouse, purse, shoes, whatever you have that that person is interested in knowing the price. Then he/she will say how rich you are if it's a costly piece of item. Well, costly or not is relative. And no, he/she isn't really interested in buying the inquired item. They just want to know how much you put out for your stuffs. :rolleyes:
Is it okay for Americans to ask if a person is married or not or in a relationship or not? Just wondering because Vietnamese people will straight out ask this too.
all the rules above pretty much apply to israel..
however something i noticed in canada & the US - no concept of.. "firgoon"... best defined as the social requirement to give compliments all around whenever there's a good reason.
so basically yes you can ask nearly anything, but you also need to say nice things when there is something nice to say, and not doing so is considered very rude & anti-social. in canada & the US it felt like the norm.
so when we do talk about finances, if someone tells you their heroic story of how they got their credit card company to giveup some of what accumilated from hidden interest rates, and you don't give a pet on the back, your an asshole.
same situation in the UK and i guess the guy whose telling the story is the asshole.
Yeah, we don't typically like for people other than ourselves to be successful with finances.
Yeah, we don't typically like for people other than ourselves to be successful with finances.
bingo. rude to ask and rude to divulge because you're generally trying to point out how much better off you are /or how much worse off you are (and it's not your fault) and they should feel sorry for you. You would never start a discussion about it if you expected people to be pretty much the same as yourself.
bingo. rude to ask and rude to divulge because you're generally trying to point out how much better off you are /or how much worse off you are (and it's not your fault) and they should feel sorry for you. You would never start a discussion about it if you expected people to be pretty much the same as yourself.
see the view here is that its information. ofcourse its ego related, but what you are showing off is the same thing you are showing off by sharing maintanance techniques and recipies.
...people that call me "Babe" when Im assisting them at work.
In all the time I've been pregnant, which would be close to 30 months of my life, I don't think a stranger ever touched my belly, and even close friends and family asked first or waited for an invitation.
Maybe I send off a 'don't touch me' vibe irl too.
I've seen your frowny look. I'd respect you. :D
Re: pointing. Someone else must believe that also. Employees at Trader Joe's and ALDI's (same company) are not allowed to point in order to tell you where something is. If they can't describe it, they walk you there.
It's fairly common for people over here to say something like, 'I'm lost, can you point me in the right direction'. Not many men ever do, but it happens once in a while.
I think pointing to show someone where something is in order to help them out is one thing. Pointing and laughing at someone who's just fallen over is another. That's what I'd call rude.
eta: I do love shows like funniest home videos with all those people falling over and stuff, but they're putting it out there, so obviously they must think it's funny too. I do also laugh sometimes when the kids stack it or even other people, but I never point. ;) That would be rude. lol
apearently not answering IMs straight away might bad manners.
i always thought there's a mutual understanding that people are doing stuff and will go on and off the conversation organically. but now i am finding that this is cause for complaint...
I think that's a whole new thread right there. Internet Manners. lol
I know if I'm talking to someone in IM and they just stop answering in the middle of the convo I get a bit annoyed and wonder why they couldn't at least say they had to go or something.
The only thing I liken it to is when you're at a party and you're talking to one person, but then someone comes over and totally interrupts the convo and you're not really part of the new one so you go somewhere else.
Wait, what, where?
omg I thought at first you meant ME. I was like "now what'd I do...yeah, sounds like me though." :lol:
Instant messages, you mean? I hope?
Sorry, sometimes people call me IM. I like to be called 'infi' for short. ;)
Nope. Instant Message. :)
How many times do I have to tell you, it's not all about you!?? ;)
Since when? :lol:
Does it count that I laugh at myself quite often? As I said, I'm a goof. ;)
I reckon if you can't laugh at yourself when you do something stupid, you really don't have a right to laugh at others when they do the same. ;)
I think that's a whole new thread right there. Internet Manners. lol
I know if I'm talking to someone in IM and they just stop answering in the middle of the convo I get a bit annoyed and wonder why they couldn't at least say they had to go or something.
The only thing I liken it to is when you're at a party and you're talking to one person, but then someone comes over and totally interrupts the convo and you're not really part of the new one so you go somewhere else.
well in real life some talks are the sort of ones you might sit down with or face each other and some are the ones your going to still want to walk around and do your think while you talk...
with IMs you have a history log - interuptions don't make you loose the conversation or where you are in it. so the only question is what the conversation demands.
emotional things can be more immidate and need the attention, but sometimes, aspecialy with intelectual conversations or when its practical matters that aren't immidate, having it casual increases the time people will think about their response. and some conversations are just naturally casual...
Only if both parties agree whether it's emotional or intellectual.
Re: pointing. Someone else must believe that also. Employees at Trader Joe's and ALDI's (same company) are not allowed to point in order to tell you where something is. If they can't describe it, they walk you there.
When I worked at ASDA (owned by Walmart) we had to walk customers to what they wanted. It's possible this was something to do with pointing. It was a pain in the arse, because the last section people walked through before they got to the tills was my section. And the thing they couldn't find was generally in the far corner of the LARGE store (eggs mostly - right against the back wall far left). We had targets on getting out stock and time away from your section was time wasted. Oh the pressure of retail!
Pointing AT someone, I get is rude. Pointing
out someone (when asked who they are for a legitimate reason) I will do with one finger and a cocked hand. When giving directions I will commit my whole arm, right down to the tip of the extended finger. Like a statue. It gives people confidence in the directions ;)
I feel I am now closer to the mystery of pointing being rude.
In this country we point with our noses.
Pointing AT someone, I get is rude. Pointing out someone (when asked who they are for a legitimate reason) I will do with one finger and a cocked hand. When giving directions I will commit my whole arm, right down to the tip of the extended finger. Like a statue. It gives people confidence in the directions ;)
I feel I am now closer to the mystery of pointing being rude.
I'm with Sundae. I don't point to people, but I may point to directions. I've been reading through these posts and unlike Sundae, I am no closer to the mystery of pointing being rude. Pointing in space to show direction is rude? That I still don't understand why. However, I understand that
Americans find using the finger to point for any reasons is rude. I will definitely keep that in mind from now on.
Nah, I need pointing. Left,right, east, west mean nothing to me.
They don't need to walk me to my item. I didn't ask them for a date, ffs, I just want to know where they keep the Mr Bubble. :lol:
You could always do the politician hand instead, using the hand/arm gesture of pointing but curling the index finger down so only the knuckle is actually pointing in the direction you mean.
...or the Colombian lip point.