Guess my job
As suggested in the "What makes you happy today" thread. Posts quoted for usefulness:
Having the kind of job where I can go have a nap for an hour and spend the rest of the day reading the newspapers, drinking coffee and watching funny videos on Youtube.
What's a GM? That's obviously a "no". I just happen to be very good at picking employers. Maximum outcome for minimal effort is one of my many mottos. And I have currently reached a level where I can get away with doing about, oh, two hours of work a day? Maybe half an hour, if it is a very good day, probably closer to four on a bad one, but I get much more of the former than the latter.
Other benefits include minimal oversight, as I only normally see my boss about once a week. Oh, and free coffee, because I'm just special like that.
Cotillion works in the insurance business, as a broker, is my guess ...
Alas, no.
However, guessing my career could be a fun game. I could describe an average day, in terms not too obvious to give it away, and see what people come up with.
So, here it goes.
I get up sometime between 6:30 and 7:30am, though strictly speaking I could sleep in until around 8am. I send a couple of texts, check my work email account and have a shower, get dressed and have breakfast at the cafe across the road (unless they are out of paper coffee cups, which they sometimes are, because I like to take my coffee back to my apartment with me).
I check my emails once every couple of hours or so, while reading the papers, a book or surfing aimlessly online. Sometimes I do exercises in my flat, or have a nap to help pass the time. I may have to answer a couple of phone calls or reply to my emails, but that is about it.
Sometime late in the evening, I make a couple of phone calls, carry out some checks, fill in some paperwork and go to bed.
Assuming nothing goes horribly wrong, that is pretty much every day for me.
Does it matter if you are male or female?
Nope, not at all. There were female applicants for the post in question.
You're an importer-exporter.
ELAINE: (incredulity) Art Vandelay? This is my boyfriend?
GEORGE: That's your boyfriend.
ELAINE: What does he do?
GEORGE: He's an importer.
ELAINE: Just imports? No exports?
GEORGE: (getting irritated) He's an importer-exporter. Okay?
ELAINE: Okay. So, I'm dating Art Vandelay. What is the problem we're discussing?
GEORGE: (thoughtful) Yes. Yes.
ELAINE: (sighs) Yi-yi-yi.
Elaine and George go into another bout of deep thought.
ELAINE: Ah! (explaining, with hand gestures) How 'bout this? How about, he's
thinking of quitting the exporting, and just focussing in on the importing. And
this is causing a problem, because, why not do both?
Building superintendant
No, but closer than insurance broker.
You're an importer-exporter.
If only. Then I could have a sweet gig "mixing up" export licences.
Do you ever meet people face to face? If you also occasionally meet people face to face, you are some sort of staffing agency job filler.
Baby sitter for the comatose
You're an importer-exporter.
And YOU want to be my latex salesman?!?
Software troubleshooter for a company designing custom systems ...
Government or private sector?
You're the one who changes the things on railroad tracks that make the train curve off onto another track.
Or a train engineer, or caboose guy?
Caboose sounds like something to do with booty...?
I'm sure a caboose guy is not a job description in Britain.
At least not one that is paid.
You don't see a caboose much anymore;technology has made them obsolete.
You might know them as brake vans (according to wiki).
When I was a kid we always waved to the train driver and the caboose guy. The drivers will, most often, still wave back.
I'd love to convert an old caboose into a guest room or something.
He's a hit man for the mob.
sooooooooo obvious.
or he sells vicodin online.
Tiger and I read a book today that ended in the family having their holiday (vacation) in a double decker bus. He was SO taken with the idea that I suggested to Mum he might want to watch Summer Holiday with (dad's favourite) Sir Cliff Richard.
It was my childhood dream to tour Europe in a converted double decker bus. As per the above film.
She's just a devil woman, with evil on her mind. Beware the devil woman, she's gonna GETCHA!
Well after all, Carrie doesn't live here any more
And from what I remember, she had the room on the second floor.
There's a reasonable chanche she was abducted and killed.
But what can you do, eh?
It was my childhood dream to tour Europe in a converted double decker bus. As per the above film.
We camped one site over from a converted red double decker bus when my family was camping across Europe. I think it was outside Rome. Anyway, it seemed so incredibly cool! It was a decent sized group, like maybe ten or fifteen people, but they had so much room! I wanted to ditch my family and jump on that bus.
You don't see a caboose much anymore;technology has made them obsolete.
You might know them as brake vans (according to wiki).
When I was a kid we always waved to the train driver and the caboose guy. The drivers will, most often, still wave back.
I'd love to convert an old caboose into a guest room or something.
My friend's father did that way back in the 60s or 70s, in the Poconos. Had the caboose moved there and set on a length of track. My friend's brother lives there now.
There was not much privacy.
I picture one behind my house (my new log home) set back into the woods a bit, where guests could stay if they wanted. My nieces would love it.
I'm dreamy today.
A guess for Cotillion... if you have to "run some checks" in the evening, I'm thinking system backups. Some form of sysadmin/IT support like UT said.
Edit: an earlier post made by Cotillion before the job-guessing game started:
"Mindlessly forwarding on pseudo-poignant statements" is, however. And you'll find it is the same people who used to send email forwards, back in the day (the day before we built a ceremonial bonfire and then threw all the forwaders we could find on top of it, like Odin demanded).
Oh yeah. Definitely a computer guy.
Tester for a waterbed manufacturer?
I picture one behind my house (my new log home) set back into the woods a bit, where guests could stay if they wanted. My nieces would love it.
I'm dreamy today.
Box Car Children!!!!
My favorite!
Kids' favorites always seem to involve absent parents or dead parents. Especially popular when the parents come back at the end and praise the kids for being so independent and resourceful.
I must have had a Boxcar Children book or two, because I remember them, vaguely.
Remember when the Bobbsey Twins got their Own Little Railroad? I was fascinated. This might be the reason for my love of trains now.
Anyway, yeah, I still want to guess Cotillion's job! I'm just passing the time, waiting on some yays or nays on the previous guesses.
:)
Cotillion, do you occasionally have to travel to distant cities and kill people?
I'd love to convert an old caboose into a guest room or something.
There is one for sale down the road from me IM shall I inquire for you? ;)
Cotillion, do you masturbate while on the clock?
There is one for sale down the road from me IM shall I inquire for you? ;)
Oh I wish. I have no money and no land. I'll let you know after I win the lottery tonight. :)
Cotillion, do you masturbate while on the clock?
Cotillion, do you like Gladiator movies?
Kids' favorites always seem to involve absent parents or dead parents. Especially popular when the parents come back at the end and praise the kids for being so independent and resourceful.
This is the case with almost all classic children's literature. At least one parent is absent.
One of the marked exceptions is the
Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. But the family lived a pioneer lifestyle, so it was still a time of great upheaval.
I hadn't thought of that. Pippi Longstocking also comes to mind:
Pippi lives in a small Swedish village, sharing the house she styles "Villa Villekulla" with her monkey, Mr. Nilsson, and her horse ("Lilla gubben", "little buddy", in the books, in adaptations usually referred to as "Old Man" or Alfonzo) but no adults or relatives. She befriends the two children living next door: Tommy and Annika Settergren. The three have many adventures. Tommy and Annika's mother, Mrs. Settergren, often disapproves of Pippi's manners and lack of education, but eventually comes to appreciate that Pippi would never put Tommy and Annika in danger, and that Pippi values her friendship with the pair above almost anything in her life. Pippi's two main possessions are a suitcase full of gold coins (which she used to buy her horse) and a large chest of drawers containing various small treasures.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pippi_LongstockingI know!!!!! Cotillion is Pippi Longstocking!!!!!!!
What a great username that would have been. Rats!
I vote inter tube spam merchant.
Could your job be described as "slangin"?
My favourite of the kids without parents around type books as a kid, was
Homecoming. Followed by
Dicey's Song Even now I get a lump in my throat at the second title, though Homecoming was the best of the two.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homecoming_(novel)
Was published when I was 11, and I think I read it when I was 12.
Heh. I hadn;t realised there were more in the series. I fell off after Dicey's Song.
One of my favorites as an adolescent was The Talisman. And yep, kid's mom is dying of cancer so he has to go out into this crazy fantasy world and save her by himself.
Then again, I also loved a lot of Dean Koontz, and his were never about kids.
Three of my favorite books when I was nine were, Watership Down, The Blue Knight, and Mouthful of Flesh - which I found in the road one day.
My favorite was a Wrinkle in Time. Read it in 4th grade and it freaked me out so much I had to read it again.
You loved Watership Down at none years old?!
Wow. I couldn't get into it until I was an adult.
Hard to play "What's my line?" with a mute.
His boss found this thread and now he has a ton of work to do.
A bunch of system administration
Sumbitches need some administerin' up in heah.
You know this clinches it. System Admins are lazy sumbitches who don't return to a thread even if it's about them.
He's on the corner.
Slangin'.
bulletin board poster baiter, semi-pro division?
More likely he got whacked.
I told you he was a mob guy.
Geez.
Maybe he was struck by lightning?
([SIZE="2"][SIZE="1"]Oh, no, wait, that's postillion ...[/SIZE][/SIZE]:facepalm: )
He never was real, was he?
Shhh. Don't tell the kids!
Maybe he was struck by lightning?
([SIZE="2"][SIZE="1"]Oh, no, wait, that's postillion ...[/SIZE][/SIZE]:facepalm: )
snort