Emergency Food Test

HungLikeJesus • May 23, 2011 3:46 pm
I have a bag of Cheetos that I keep in my car in case I ever get stranded in a snow bank. I've had them for five years and decided today that it's time to give them a try.

It says on the bag "Guaranteed Fresh until July 11." I don't know if that means July 2011, or July 11th (2006).


I plan to eat three of them. I will then wait 60 seconds before injecting myself with the antidote.
BigV • May 23, 2011 4:00 pm
His post is thirteen minutes old.


...



can we panic now?
HungLikeJesus • May 23, 2011 4:18 pm
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2] I could only eat one. They smelled like poison.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2]Then my arm was paralyzed and I couldn't give myself the antidote.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2]I tried to dial 0118-999-881-999, but I couldn't remember the last four digits.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2]Then I got better.[/FONT][/COLOR]
Trilby • May 23, 2011 4:29 pm
at least you didn't turn into a Newt!
Nirvana • May 23, 2011 4:54 pm
Brianna;736011 wrote:
at least you didn't turn into a Newt!


Yah then you's have to run for president! :eyebrow:
wolf • May 23, 2011 6:38 pm
You have to rotate your emergency Cheetos.

That's my excuse, anyway.
Pico and ME • May 23, 2011 6:45 pm
I couldn't keep a bag of emergency cheetos in my car.
HungLikeJesus • May 23, 2011 6:46 pm
I'll have to mark that on my calendar:
+ Check spare tire
+ Check flashlight batteries
+ Rotate Cheetos
Pico and ME • May 23, 2011 6:49 pm
I would rotate the cheetos daily.
BigV • May 23, 2011 6:55 pm
When did the food in this thread change from Cheerios to Cheetos?
HungLikeJesus • May 23, 2011 6:56 pm
After eating the five-year old Cheeto this afternoon I may be out of the Cheetos mood for a few days.
HungLikeJesus • May 23, 2011 6:57 pm
Cheerios? Well,those would be easier to rotate (considering that they're round).
BigV • May 23, 2011 7:01 pm
"donut seeds"... which dwellar-spawn coined that term?
wolf • May 23, 2011 7:13 pm
I can't eat Cheetos in the car.

Leather, you know. Can't get Cheedle on the leather.
lookout123 • May 23, 2011 7:38 pm
HungLikeJesus;736007 wrote:
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2] I could only eat one. They smelled like poison.[/FONT][/COLOR]


They're Cheetos. They're supposed to smell like that. If that didn't smell like poison you might notice they taste like something worse.
wolf • May 23, 2011 7:40 pm
Stale Cheetos are frighteningly chewy.
infinite monkey • May 24, 2011 11:16 am
HungLikeJesus;736007 wrote:
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2] I could only eat one. They smelled like poison.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2]Then my arm was paralyzed and I couldn't give myself the antidote.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2]I tried to dial 0118-999-881-999, but I couldn't remember the last four digits.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=#000000][FONT=MS Shell Dlg 2]Then I got better.[/FONT][/COLOR]


It did something funny to your font.
Sundae • May 24, 2011 11:35 am
Dad tried to have an emergency Mars Bar in the car in the snowy weather over the last December/ January.
Unfortunately, although Mum does not generally like Mars Bars, she likes them when they are really cold.
That idea did not last.

I told him to get some Kendal Mint Cake.
Mum objected. Why? Because she can't stand it.
THAT'S THE POINT!
I will have to get some for him and sneak it in. Then again he never took my advice about having a bag of cat litter in the car (great to stop wheels spinning if you get stuck) so I don't think he was really taking it seriously after all. That or he thought I might pilfer the litter when I run out of funds halfway through the month....
HungLikeJesus • May 24, 2011 12:05 pm
The whole number* should have been "0118 999 881 999 119 725 3," so I guess I was missing more than just the last four digits.

* The new emergency telephone number
Trilby • May 24, 2011 1:29 pm
I just ran to my local UDF for a gallon of milk...and, for some reason, I bought a bag of Cheetos.


It's pretty much your fault.
HungLikeJesus • May 24, 2011 2:06 pm
Did you get the extra crunchy?
infinite monkey • May 24, 2011 2:07 pm
[FONT="Franklin Gothic Medium"]I don't think so.[/FONT]
HungLikeJesus • May 24, 2011 2:34 pm
Are you making font of me?
BigV • May 24, 2011 3:08 pm
you made font of yourself first, we just watched.
Spexxvet • May 24, 2011 3:48 pm
And laughed surreptitiously.
BigV • May 24, 2011 3:56 pm
are you sure that wasn't meant to be seriftiously?
Pete Zicato • May 24, 2011 4:00 pm
BigV;736376 wrote:
are you sure that wasn't meant to be seriftiously?


Clever.
Trilby • May 25, 2011 7:23 am
(they were crunchy)
monster • May 25, 2011 7:45 pm
When do we do the Emergency Fuck Test?
HungLikeJesus • May 25, 2011 8:06 pm
Has it been five years already?
BigV • May 25, 2011 8:14 pm
Assume the position.
TheMercenary • May 25, 2011 10:24 pm
My Cheetos are shaped like Jesus, so I am safe.
Glinda • May 26, 2011 2:49 am
Excellent thread - testing the shelf life of car rations.

I've had an "emergency" stash of 9 or 11 Quaker chewy granola bars (or whatthefuckever) in my truck for at least a year now, probably more like two.

Should I.....?







:eek: I'm afraid!!
casimendocina • May 26, 2011 9:13 am
Go on....
Lola Bunny • May 29, 2011 4:56 pm
Glinda;736842 wrote:
Excellent thread - testing the shelf life of car rations.

I've had an "emergency" stash of 9 or 11 Quaker chewy granola bars (or whatthefuckever) in my truck for at least a year now, probably more like two.

Should I.....?

:eek: I'm afraid!!


Offer one to a hobo and watch him eat it. If he doesn't keel over, then they're safe. :D
morethanpretty • May 29, 2011 7:06 pm
HungLikeJesus;736303 wrote:
The whole number* should have been "0118 999 881 999 119 725 3," so I guess I was missing more than just the last four digits.

* The new emergency telephone number


There is a handy jingle to help you remember that number. Don't forget the number isn't the only thing to change. There are nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers.

[COLOR="LemonChiffon"]Am I wrong or am I the first post of 3 pages that actually seems to get this joke? Dwellers, you are disappoint.[/COLOR]
HungLikeJesus • May 29, 2011 9:46 pm
Thanks MTP. I thought maybe nobody knew that the number had changed.

I can't get the number out of my head - except for the last seven digits.
morethanpretty • May 29, 2011 9:55 pm
Its easy!