Throw rotten fruit at my face.

Bitter tears of shame and remorse streak my filthy cheeks, culminating in a puddle mixed with my own drool and snot, as I blubber incoherent repentence with a hoarse, cracked voice which eventually trails off into mournful wailing, as the last of the disgusted onlookers shuffle away disinterestedly. Hypocrite. No more shall polite society welcome me to its warm bosom, to suckle on the teats of fellowship. Outcast. Tossed aside with yesterday's rubbish. My life is forfeit.

How's your landlord?

:f211:

Vatican flag for excessive self-flagellation.

filthy stinking hypocrite! Take THAT, you crumb bum.

Griff;732420 wrote:

:f211:

Vatican flag for excessive self-flagellation.

Clever bastard:-p

I'm out of fruit. There's a huge pile of shit in the corner of this sandbox though. Can I throw that?

lookout123;732429 wrote:

I'm out of fruit. There's a huge pile of shit in the corner of this sandbox though. Can I throw that?

If you wish. It's Australian in origin, though, think boomerang.....

I thought you said if we were gonna leave, we should just -- leave -?

oh for the love of...

Take that silly sign down and go to your room!

There are people in third world countries who would be happy to have that rotten fruit.

Think of the children.

Flint;732417 wrote:

Bitter tears of shame and remorse streak my filthy cheeks, culminating in a puddle mixed with my own drool and snot, as I blubber incoherent repentence with a hoarse, cracked voice which eventually trails off into mournful wailing, as the last of the disgusted onlookers shuffle away disinterestedly. Hypocrite. No more shall polite society welcome me to its warm bosom, to suckle on the teats of fellowship. Outcast. Tossed aside with yesterday's rubbish. My life is forfeit.

I really want you to write my obit.

Well, not right NOW. When the time comes!

Flint;732417 wrote:

Bitter tears of shame and remorse streak my filthy cheeks, culminating in a puddle mixed with my own drool and snot, as I blubber incoherent repentence with a hoarse, cracked voice which eventually trails off into mournful wailing, as the last of the disgusted onlookers shuffle away disinterestedly. Hypocrite. No more shall polite society welcome me to its warm bosom, to suckle on the teats of fellowship. Outcast. Tossed aside with yesterday's rubbish. My life is forfeit.

To feel shame, you'd have to care. That means.... could it be?.....

Hey, everybody, Flint CARES!

Let's celebrate by knocking him down and stepping on his fingers!

Yeeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaa!

infinite monkey;732480 wrote:

I really want you to write my obit.

Well, not right NOW. When the time comes!

Have we set a date?

footfootfoot;732486 wrote:

Have we set a date?

She prolly wants to surprise us!

footfootfoot;732486 wrote:

Have we set a date?

You know about that story, don't you? Well, for those who don't:

I was telling my family I want a party for my funeral. Open bar. Open mike. Let people get up and say anything they want (humor preferred, of course.)

My older brother says "now that we have it all planned, let's set a date!"

Great minds joke alike.

What date did you decide on? I need to rent a tux.

Don't all you aristo-cats own your own tux?

Yehbut usually they pay someone else to wear it for them.

infinite monkey;732670 wrote:

Don't all you aristo-cats own your own tux?

No, that's Tucks

Whoa. I don't know if you'd want to rent THAT!

infinite monkey;732670 wrote:

Don't all you aristo-cats own your own tux?

No, I'm a desert aristocat. We usually wear shorts to everything but this is a special occasion so I really want to look sharp.

Even in death, I'm special.

*preens*

But I knew that.

lookout123 wrote:

No, I'm a desert aristocat. We usually wear shorts to everything but this is a special occasion so I really want to look sharp.

That's how you know a true aristocrat, he just wears his yacht and resort wear everywhere, because he doesn't have to put on a tux for you or anyone else! Like Richard Branson.

Dr C, one of my psych profs, said that same thing. He said if you have enough money you don't need to dress to impress, you don't have to care!

Yeah, it's known as Fuck You money.
When you have enough to simply say Fuck You to the world.

A word on behalf of Sir Richard though. He does have a sense of propriety and scrubs up quite well.
As in this picture from the Times 100 event.

About the original topic: Can we just spit on your soul, instead?

Yes, I forgot to mention that.

Sir Branson always wears the appropriate thing.

When kite surfing he wears a naked lady.

She looks like she just leapt from the water onto his back.

Of all the stunts I've seen Branson pull, the most amazing to me was when he held a tea party on the top of a hot air balloon. Supported only by a thin layer of silk fabric underneath him.

Undertoad;732785 wrote:

Sir Branson always wears the appropriate thing.

When kite surfing he wears a naked lady.

What a douche!

(sorry, couldn't resist the pun because there is no way she's not getting water in her hoo-hoo)

infinite monkey;732679 wrote:

Whoa. I don't know if you'd want to rent THAT!

Sure you do! Exactly the same way you rent beer. Use it once and then flush it away.

BigV;732797 wrote:

Sure you do! Exactly the same way you rent women. Use it once and then flush it away.

FTFY.


:bolt: