Dumber than a box of rocks
Jim's story
here had me looking for phrases meaning "not too bright". Most of the ones I ran across I hear in my head with a country drawl.
So how many phrases can we come up with?
I'll start -
He's a few bricks shy of a load.
Slower than a wet weekend.
Two snags short of a barbie.
One beer short of a six pack.
sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
The lights are on but nobody's home
Not firing on all cylinders
A few french fries short of a happy meal
thick as two short planks
dumb as a bag of hammers
elevator doesn't go to the top floor/penthouse
time to coin some:
A Dolphin short of a Meme
Enjoys an alternate thought process
---
oh wait, I remembered (a not very nice) one I heard over here... Rides the Short Bus.
Mouth-breather.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
I heard this one from a French Canadian :
Not a 100 Watts lightbulb
One taco short of a combination plate
Sharp as a marble
(I remember the first time I heard "not the sharpest tool in the shed" from my ex's funny and smart cousin referring to a friend of a younger smart but doofy cousin. I laughed my arse off.)
Coined:
His WiFi doesn't quite reach his modem
sharp as a bowling ball (Foghorn Leghorn)
An intellect rivalled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait
If he had 2 brains, 1 would be lonely
sharp as a bowling ball (Foghorn Leghorn)
That boy's got a mind like a steel trap. Rusty, that is.
--Mr Leghorn
One spanner short of a toolkit.
and an oldie but still in regular currency (so to speak...):
Not a full shilling.
In college we said "as smart as roadkill."
.... Rides the Short Bus.
there was a long one?
If IQ was 2 points higher, they'd be a carrot
He's only got two synapses, connected by a spirochete and he's just been put on penicillin.
oh wait, I remembered (a not very nice) one I heard over here... Rides the Short Bus.
We said this one a lot as kids. Back when my dad was still insisting there was nothing wrong with Minifob, I laughed and informed him, "Dad, in the mornings he literally rides the short bus to school."
[size=1]Except then later in the year, too many kids had joined the program and they had to switch them to a long bus. So now he's fine! :)[/size]
Hanging out where the buses don't run
Has one wheel in the gutter
The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead
Lights are on but nobody's home
Smart as bait
His brother was an only child
His cord doesn’t quite reach the outlet
His cheese done slipped off his cracker
His brother was an only child
lmao
[size=1]Except then later in the year, too many kids had joined the program and they had to switch them to a long bus. So now he's fine! :)[/size]
awesome! :lol:
Has Delusions of Adequacy
Has an IQ the same as her dress size...
So dense light bends around him
Room Temperature IQ
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Strong like bear, smart like tractor
the average IQ in the tdcj is 85. sooooo, i had coined the phrase while on hiatus - eeeeeiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhttttttyyyyyyyyy-fiiiiiiiiive. and just shake my head most times. other times i would just look on in a blank stare wondering how someone could be so dumb.
ya know, I was thinking room temps in celcius....
ya know, I was thinking room temps in celcius....
ya know...i can be rather dumb sometimes....i'm smart, but stupid at the same time! :D
Cookie generator wins again!
"That boy's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver."
- Foghorn Leghorn
ya know...i can be rather dumb sometimes....i'm smart, but stupid at the same time! :D
but never as low as room temperature..... ;) I was just pointing out that I never thought about fahrenheight. because I'm a dick.
ya know...i can be rather dumb sometimes....i'm smart, but stupid at the same time! :D
but never as low as room temperature..... ;) I was just pointing out that I never thought about fahrenheight. because I'm a dick.
No, you're both wrong I'm the dummest dick.
dummer than a dick in a blonde factory?
IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Sharp as a bag of wet leather.
Smart like bull, strong like chicken.
About two chromosomes short of a chimp.
Not exactly Mr. Wizard.
AC body, DC brain.
You look in his eyes, you can see the inside of his skull.
Body by Play-do, brain by Mattel.
The priest left him under too long at his christening.
A mind like a steel sieve.
When God was handing out brains, he was last in line
Running on empty
coining a retro one: his 45s play at 33
his 78s play at 45
his victrola has a blunt needle
his cuneiforms are blurry
his story teller has a sore throat
His big bang was just a whimper
retro winning!
His movies are all on Betamax
His rotary dial needs oiling
He's a nibble short of a full byte.
Duller than a bag of wet mice.
~F. Leghorn
Duller than a froe.
Thick as a brick. ~J. Tull
Dumber than shit.
he's like yesterday's coffee -- a little weak in the bean
Read this in Reader's Digest last night:
While he was not as dumb as an ox, he was not any smarter either.
--James Thurber (the barber) ;)
He's so dumb...
(how dumb is he?)
He's so dumb, he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if there were directions on the toe saying "tip up".
He's so dumb, he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were printed on the heel.
No, you're both wrong I'm the dummest dick.
wait a minute! a 3 foot dick?!?!?!?! :eek:
He's so dumb, he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were printed on the heel.
u r teh lol.
hahahahahaha
Thicker than an apostrophe in Molasse's
Thicker than an apostrophe in Molasse's
I vote you go to bed now.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh
(it was good, wasn't it?)????????????