End of the World Skilz
you got any? What would you like to learn? I'm talking about survival, subsistence, self-reliance, jack/jill-of-all-trade, life skills.
I have very few. I can cook, but my cooking skills with open fires are limited. I can/could crochet a blanket or (possibly) garments out of fabric scraps. I can teach basic English and reading. I can take care of children and babies.
I'd like to learn how to grow food, especially hydroponically. Make candles.
I can move well through rough country, track animals (never killed one), choose good campsites, make campfires, find water.
I can kludge repairs to vehicles and McGyver stuff.
I cannot hunt, farm, or grow food.
I will outlast civilisation as long as my stash of tinned food lasts. About two weeks. Then I starve.
I can build, grow, kill stuff, raise critters, cut wood, but there are no guarantees in the survival game...
I can make paper from old paper, leaves, rags.
I can write porn. That's a life skill, innit?
I'm pretty much golden, I can do just about everything I'd need to do to survive. I could use a brush up on my evasion techniques vis a vis electronic surveillance, but the obvious analog stuff I'm good with.
But let's say you went camping and you forgot your sleeping bag and you had to share a sleeping bag with the person you went camping with and the next morning you awoke to find...
I can write porn. That's a life skill, innit?
But let's say you went camping and you forgot your sleeping bag and you had to share a sleeping bag with the person you went camping with and the next morning you awoke to find...
One pornographer is enough, Foot3.
Well, I wasn't really counting that as a survival skill, per se...
and I take it you don't fancy going camping with me either?
But let's say you went camping and you forgot your sleeping bag and you had to share a sleeping bag with the person you went camping with and the next morning you awoke to find...
Sheldon? :bolt:
I don't know. I haven't tried to catch a fish with string and a bent paper clip.Would it work? Would I remember to even carry string and paper clip with me against the day?
I hope someone would be worried about me if I did. lol
Yes, I would love to learn those things. REAL survival skills.
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I'm actually going after more general, practical, sustainable skills, than apocalyptic survival strategies. Like a trade or a craft. Woodworking, sewing, food preservation--foxfire skills.
Well I can fish , hunt , do some basic Black smith stuff , ive made wine and beer , dont Mind sleeping in a tent , canoe, kyack , Build and tend Many different fires ( yes there IS a difference ) , cut weld and fab steel , Do the grunt work in a garden , survive in Hot , cold and wet weather , shoot , swear , and be generly happy in fucked up situations , take controll in Worse that fucked up conditions and deal with the problem ( generly)
That enough ?
it's plenty. "enuf" is for you to decide.
I can rob from the rich and give to the poor.
I can hide and avoid confrontation
It's the most important survival skill. (In a country with 300 million people.)
True. There are plenty of people with the power to kill and and steal. People who can actually do stuff need to survive the so-called survivalists.
I can make a decent cup of tea. Which is all that matters, really.
I have vast fat reserves.
And I'm willing to blow anyone who feeds me. In a survival of the fittest way I mean, not any general waiting staff.
Oh and I know Wolf.
So as long as I'm Stateside when the sky falls I think I'm covered.
Originally Posted by Rose Tyler
Bad Wolf
I have the basics for growing food, raising cattle and harvesting/kiling it.
Same with fishing, in need of a refresh about hunting.
Not very good about starting a fire without matches/lighter but I've done it a few times.
I know how to cook even on open fires.
I've a correct knowledge of non-powered tools.
I've a fair knowledge about first aid and CPR and had to put it in practice.
Not bad at forecasting weather in my area, usually correct 7 times out of 10.
I can sew but not well. No knitting or other similar knowledge.
Fair knowledge about blades, bows, crossbows(prefered) and firearms (use, storage, maintenance).
And I'm willing to blow anyone who feeds me. In a survival of the fittest way I mean, not any general waiting staff.
I don't do that but I'm told that I'm fairly good at lovemaking.
Nice to know there will be others that will suffer once we're all 6-feet under. Well, if they ever bother themselves with the burying...
I can take control in a situation and organize others. I will lead as two kings
I'm hazy about the two Kings thing.
I know Two Princes...
This one wants to give me flowers, this one wants to talk for hours.
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nsfw lyrics
If you ply me with enough whiskey, I can play saloon-style ragtime piano.
Anyone here know how to make a piano from scratch?
Anyone here know how to make a piano from scratch?
If you have enough scratch, you can just buy a piano. :D
No end-of-the-world skillz needed here. When the modern drugs go, so do I.
I don't think about it too much as I consider an end-of-civilization scenario possible, but highly unlikely.
If you ply me with enough whiskey, I can play saloon-style ragtime piano.
Anyone here know how to make a piano from scratch?
I could cast the iron frame and make most all of the parts, I'd need plans or an example of the action, and I don't think I could easily make the machine to draw the wire, we'd have to get that store bought.
Maple Leaf Rag, Gladiolus, and Magnetic Rag are on your set list right?
It depends on what form the End is, but in some of them, pianos will be available. Not the electric kind, not even the tiny ones, as we need to preserve batteries at all costs.
I can turn wine into water.
I will let smooth have my piano, but only if he agrees to play selections from
this on demand.
I can turn wine into water.
Filtered?
I don't have many survival skills. I don't even have many regular skills. That's why I don't have a fancy special professional type job. But the hubs can do just about anything when it comes to survival stuff. I guess I can sew and cook.
I can turn wine into water.
I can turn a gray sky blue
I can make it rain whenever I want it to
I can build a castle from a single grain of sand
I can make ship sail - on dry land.
But my life is incomplete and I'm so blue
'Cause I can't get next to you
I can skin and joint hares, rabbits, fowl.
I can knit, or sew if I have to.
I can sound the alarm on a horn made of horn.
I could probably cook on a open fire - 'specially if it was the right sort of fire made by ZippyT!
Of course, my success or failure in an "end of the world" scenario all depends on what kind of "end of the world" you're talking about.
Have hundreds of cities been blown to smithereens? Did a huge firestorm overrun the continent? Massive global floods? Or is it just general madness and mayhem in the streets? Do I still have my house/land, or did someone come take it from me and now I'm out in the woods with just the clothes on my back?
I'd most likely fail at being a lone survivalist dropped into a desolate land, but if the "end of the world" is more of a global governmental/crazy weather type crisis, I think I'd do fine.
Without any trouble at all, I'd have plenty of food (I'm very big on gardening, and pretty darned good at it, to boot) - I've got fruit trees, berry bushes, big vegetable gardens, a greenhouse, and enough chickens/eggs to keep me fed. I've got a well on my property (but I'd have to reopen it and cobble together a pump of some sort), and a shotgun (note to self: stock up on ammo).
I've got plenty of non-power tools, wood, chicken-wire fencing and t-bar poles, hammers, nails, screws, staples/staple gun, wire, saws, and so on. Got a nice wood-burning fireplace, and an outdoor fire pit.
I'd have to rig up some kind of windmill thingie for power (maybe I should go shopping for lots of batteries too, just in case!), I know how to sew and knit and make candles (but would need to stock up on the fixins), I can build shit (poorly, but wtf), and semi-sorta repair broken things with my l3e+ MacGyver skills (I surprise myself sometimes with my creative solutions), and if I absolutely had to, I could hunt and dress deer, rabbits, and so forth.
Plus, I've got a piano. So I'm all set. :D
I'm moving to Glinda's house.
I'm moving to Limey's!
Nothing against you, Galinda, but Limey is closer to me.
Despite my self-deprecation, I do have some end of the world skills:
I am pretty solitary by nature.
I have a good sense of humour. I am well read.
I do not suck off friend's partners/ husbands. I am used to not having sex.
I am not squeamish about what I eat and I'm actually a pretty good vegetarian cook - although this does require access to a well stocked spice cabinet. In that absence I can eat very bland food without complaint.
(Did anyone notice me back-pedalling furiously so Limey will let me into her household? No? Good, I'm being sneaky enough then).
I'm moving to Glinda's house.
Yeah no shit !!
Let's car pool.
i'm well versed in weapons and have a nice little arsenal. i plan to just rob my neighbors and enslave them!
Ok, you guys, I'm game.* Head for SW Washington and bring sleeping bags!
* [SIZE="1"]Mwahhahahaa. My ingenious plan to get a little help around this place is working like a charm. *rubs hands together* Now to implement an end to the world... [/SIZE]
Ok, you guys, I'm game.* Head for SW Washington and bring sleeping bags!
I knew there was a catch...
What, you can't build me a bed? Screw it, I'm not hoofing it all the way up to Glinda's if I'm not even going to have a bed. Next you're going to tell me the post-apocalyptic plumbing won't work...
Trained EMT so nasty injuries don't faze me
Work well with little sleep for extended periods
Good negotiator of stressful situations
Big, strong dude so I can handle myself and smack a bitch around when words stop working
Decent amount of outdoors knowledge like building fires, shelter, cooking, decent shot, etc.
Weaknesses:
Don't own a firearm
Can't sew worth a damn
I snore
Bullet
We Need a wilderness Doc , strong young dude ,
but the snoring DUDE !! NOT TACTICAL !!!
end-of-world skills.
srsly, who can't apply heat to food where necessaryZ? Who can't bury seeds in soil and water?
Teaching English? To whom and why?
... I am not squeamish about what I eat ...
The Donner Party
[COLOR="RoyalBlue"]
People[/COLOR]
People,
People who eat people,
Are the luckiest people in the world
We're carnivores, needing other carnivores
While letting a survivor's pride
Satisfy all the hunger inside
Acting more like cannibals than animals
Cannibals,
Are very special people
They're the luckiest people in the world
With one person, one very tasty person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you were hungry now you're full
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person who eats people
People who eat people
Are the luckiest people in the world ...
but the snoring DUDE !! NOT TACTICAL !!!
:D
What, you can't build me a bed? Screw it, I'm not hoofing it all the way up to Glinda's if I'm not even going to have a bed. Next you're going to tell me the post-apocalyptic plumbing won't work...
Well, I
could make you a nice feather bed, but then I'd have nekkid chickens. Trust me, nobody wants that.
As for post-apocalyptic plumbing, I've got my eye on a nice little porta potty at a nearby construction site... :p:
I can bark orders.
I can bark.
I can assemble things. I have great eye/hand coordination.
I'm mean.
Anything but cookery or cleanery or knittery.
Bullet
We Need a wilderness Doc , strong young dude ,
but the snoring DUDE !! NOT TACTICAL !!!
If I sleep on my stomach I'm cool, but yeah otherwise I'll be drawing every zombie in a mile radius. Sorry man
We'll glue a tennis ball to your back.
Bullitt!
The end of the world does not necessarily mean zombies!
It might simply be a case of every surviving man's sperm being sterilised.
In which case you'd still be of value to Shel.
Although if the only survivors were you and Matt Damon- no offense - you might go to bed cold.
But can you V-Jazzle me?
I don't know what this means!?!?
I'll give you a lickle clue.
V = vagina
Jazzle = jewels + sparkles + frazzle
It's not a good clue though, it refers to decorating your fur and is nothing to do with adding diamonds up the baby-chute.
In fact it's about having tawdry things added to your muff in the hope you will be considered a classy bird.
But let's face it, if you haven't convinced them you are classy by the time thay catch sight of your hoo-ha, then you have pretty much lucked out.
In the end times (snicker, she said end times) it STILL won't mean a thing if it ain't got that SCHWIIIINGGGGG.
Accessories sold separately. ;)
I can hunt, fish, and identify edible plants in my environment. I know how to grow some fruits and veggies. I know how to find and purify water. I have reasonable self defense capabilities. I have reasonable (or not so reasonable depending on perception) stockpiles of food, water, weapons, ammo, means to cook, grow more food and my house is reasonably defensible from all but a large scale assault.
genital jewelry as a survival skill? run that by me again, please (so I can make to exploit it)
Bullitt!
The end of the world does not necessarily mean zombies!
It might simply be a case of every surviving man's sperm being sterilised.
In which case you'd still be of value to Shel.
Although if the only survivors were you and Matt Damon- no offense - you might go to bed cold.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Children of Men was a good movie though
Also wtf@ Bedazzling your crotch. Pass.
Have you no genital pride?
V = vagina
Jazzle = jewels + sparkles + frazzle
.
Don't put Frazzles in your Vagina! :eek: If you want a bacon-flavored snatch, use real bacon. Frazzles will fizz unpleasantly, give you man a sandpaper experience, then leave a smeggy sludge. You'll need a shop vac.
...Frazzles will fizz unpleasantly, give you man a sandpaper experience, then leave a smeggy sludge. You'll need a shop vac.
How do you know this, Monster :eyebrow: ?
Yeah, there was a lot of detailed info in that post...
Uncanny knowledge is her end-of-the-world skill.
mmmm bacon-flavored snatch
I did once have an unpleasant experience with a marshmallow that strayed too far from the fold...
I did once have an unpleasant experience with a marshmallow that strayed too far into the fold...
FIFY!
Reclassify that as "ability to securely store emergency food supplies" and you've got another end of teh wurld skill.
^ politicians need to employ you
mmmm bacon-flavored snatch
I'm already licking my chops ;)
bacon's one thing, but chops? that's perverse.
If the world ends next Tuesday, I'm set.
Surely the only skill required to end the world is the ability to press a big, red button?
You also have to have an evil laugh ... and don't call me Shirley.
^ politicians need to employ you
Them thar is fightin words!