Porn for God

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Via New Scientist.

Johnathon Keats reasoned that God hasn't done any creating for around 14 billion years, which is probably why He is so cranky and tends to smote people so much. And, being the One True God, it's gonna be hard to fix him up with a suitable partner. So, Keats resorted to Divine Porn to try to help the Big Fella out.

But what would turn God on? How about memories of the last act of creation? So Keats got some pics from the LHC at CERN, where they have reproduced conditions just after the big bang (by smashing lead ions into each other at a gazillion miles an hour), and laid them out on a votive altar with candles and incense and stuff.

So, if the above picture reminds you of the warm fuzzy afterglow of the last time you had a cosmic orgasm, you might well be the almighty.

More interview at the link.

now that you mention it - Yaweh does seem overly fond of smiting people.

Just read GOOD BOOK (David Plotz) and the One True God doesn't come off looking so swell in it. Not only does God smite, He does so arbitrarily - most times just on a whim!

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There hasn't been a smiting is thousands of years.

xoxoxoBruce;694075 wrote:

There hasn't been a smiting is thousands of years.

you ARE familiar with my life, right?

It's just one big SMITE, all the time.

Don't get all high and smitey on us...

Brianna;694090 wrote:

you ARE familiar with my life, right?

It's just one big SMITE, all the time.

Bah, you're blaming the wrong source for you troubles.

Brianna;694090 wrote:

you ARE familiar with my life, right?

It's just one big SMITE, all the time.

You think that's bad...I was just cockblocked by a six year old.:mad2:

Ah Bri, that solves a mystery for me then.
The Old Testament God was verily fond of smiting, handing out punishments for people born in the wrong place, who mocked bald men, who went home the wrong way etc. But he seems to have been pretty quiet recently.

Now I know what he's been doing - giving you cancer and a craving for liquor, and cockblocking Grav via a 6 year old boy.
He does work in mysterious ways after all.
And Satan had to learn his sneakiness from somewhere...

Sundae Girl;694165 wrote:

He does work in mysterious ways after all.
And Satan had to learn his sneakiness from somewhere...

I think that is an excellent point!

and, yeah, the cancer smite was a dick move. Even for Him.

So, you're not smitten with smiting then?

Sundae Girl;694165 wrote:

...cockblocking Grav via a 6 year old boy.

Well, it was her granDAUGHTER that was doing the blocking. But, blocked is blocked...:sniff:

GILFing?

Grandma IamF? Damn, I guess so.


ETA: Does that say something about my age, that I hadn't thought that I was having sex (great sex) with a grandma?

Nothing wrong with hot Grandmas.
I've met some that were a lot hotter than their offspring.

Wot Bruce sed.

In fairness to God, it was a REALLY big bang.