Kenneth Schmitz: 1944-2010

My (step)dad, Ken Schmitz, passed away just after midnight this morning. He had lung cancer surgery in July and never recovered from the complications that arose after surgery.

My mother and father were only married 2 years, but my mom and Ken were married 29 years in August...they got married when I was 5. He was an alcoholic...he could be mentally abusive...he smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day...he was short-tempered and stubborn at times.

He was also my dad. My father has never really ever stepped up to the plate...we currently haven't spoken in 16 years. Ken raised a child that wasn't his...he never tried to push me into anything, and encouraged me to do whatever it was I wanted to do. And he was always there for me when I needed him. He wasn't the affectionate type, but I always knew that he loved me as if I was his own flesh and blood.

We fought like cats and dogs when I was younger, but as we got older, we got along well. We didn't really talk a lot--Ken really wasn't a man of a lot of words--but we had a very good relationship, probably since I became an adult.

He wasn't my father, but he was definitely my dad. I love you, Dad...you're in a much better place now. Rest in peace...

Oh I am so sorry Sycamore. My condolences to you and to your Mum.

Syc, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Hugs to you, your mom, your brother.

My sympathies, Syc.

Sorry man. He sounded like a good guy with regular guy issues. My condolences.

Syc, what a lovely post.
Your affection for the real man who raised you is very touching.

A Father (as in the job, not in the DNA) does not have to be a perfect man. In fact I think it would be very hard to find a parent who was. But he earned your love and respect and I mourn his passing on your behalf.

Much love.

I'm sorry about your Dad but glad you had him in your life.

That's a tough hit man.

The world is a little bit worse because a good person has left it. Condolences sir.

That was a very nice tribute, sycamore.

May he live forever in your heart! Peace to you and your family.

Sorry for your loss, glad you were able to be there for him and your mom.

I'm so sorry, Syc. Peace be with you.

Sorry to hear the sad news, Syc. All the best to you.

A lovely tribute to your true dad, Syc. Hugs to you and your family.

Thank you all for your kind words. :)

It's so weird now. He was in the hospital basically the last 3 months of his life, and we almost lost him several times...he got Last Rites 5 times. So we were already prepared for his death more or less...now we find ourselves--for lack of a better word--bored. Our lives--well, more my mom's and brother's--were fairly structured around being at the hospital regularly. Now they're trying to get back to some sort of a "normal" life, and it's pretty weird.

If any of you happen to be in the St. Louis area, my dad's wake will be at Kutis City Chapel, 2906 Gravois, on Thurs. Nov. 4th from 3-9pm. The funeral is tentatively set for 10am Fri. Nov. 5th at Kutis, with burial to follow at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery.

You'll have done some of your grieving already, Syc. And, as you say, you've all been so busy looking after your Dad. It will be odd, or empty, or calm, and strange. It may be that once the wake and funeral are passed your feelings will catch up with you again?
My thoughts are with you.

Schmitz, Kenneth W. Fortified with the Sacraments of Holy Mother Church, Sat., Oct. 30, 2010. Beloved husband of Cindy Schmitz (nee Broyles); dear father of Michelle Varnum, Lisa Schmitz (Scott Williams), Terry Blastenbrei and Timothy Schmitz; loving grandfather of Jennifer (Dino) Easter, Danielle Carson, Ashley Williams and Papa to Kennedy Kotraba-Schmitz; dear brother of Clara Mitzi (Rich) Hornick and the late Wayne (survived by Joan) Schmitz; our dear great-grandfather of 2, brother-in-law, uncle, cousin and friend. Services: Funeral from KUTIS CITY CHAPEL, 2906 Gravois, Fri., Nov. 5, 10am. Interment JB National Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, contributions to the American Lung Association greatly appreciated by the family. Visitation Thurs., 3-9pm.

Instead of "Fortified with the Sacraments of Holy Mother Church," I probably would have went with, "Was sick of this crap and decided to go have some fun." :)