Pies That Make You Angry

Trilby • Oct 24, 2010 11:29 am
Peach.

always too mushy.
Flint • Oct 24, 2010 5:24 pm
Pecan.

Minimal involvement of pecans; filled with unidentified goo.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 24, 2010 5:32 pm
Mud.

Such a disappointment.
Cloud • Oct 24, 2010 5:36 pm
nursery rhyme pies. full of live birds and plums and shit. and mincemeat! which doesn't have any meat! and gelid citrus pies with fake topping.

oooh, didn't know I was so full of pie angst!
SteveDallas • Oct 24, 2010 5:44 pm
I have nothing against any particular kind of pie, but I absolutely loathe meringue. (When I was a kid, Grandma Dallas would make two lemon pies and only put meringue on one of them.)
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 24, 2010 5:44 pm
Good mincemeat has meat, not green tomatoes.
gvidas • Oct 24, 2010 5:49 pm
""homemade" apple pie that is, in fact, mass-produced with that crust that tastes like buttered cardboard and those fake-tasting apples. I'm looking at you, Perkins.
bluecuracao • Oct 24, 2010 8:17 pm
Pies that don't exist. One of our local pubs has a chalkboard behind the bar listing apple and cherry pie, a la mode if you like. But whenever I've asked for a slice, they are always 86'd.
HungLikeJesus • Oct 24, 2010 9:47 pm
The Pie that's boycotting the Cellar.
Gravdigr • Oct 25, 2010 3:04 am
SteveDallas;690180 wrote:
I have nothing against any particular kind of pie, but I absolutely loathe meringue. (When I was a kid, Grandma Dallas would make two lemon pies and only put meringue on one of them.)


Grandma's rock!
Gravdigr • Oct 25, 2010 3:08 am
I've always found pumpkin pie to be rather smarmy.
casimendocina • Oct 25, 2010 3:43 am
Apricot pie made with dried apricots is a jip.
monster • Oct 25, 2010 8:53 am
pumpkin pie. wtf is that all about. pumpkins are for carving, not eating. yuck.
Spexxvet • Oct 25, 2010 8:59 am
Shepherd's pie. Very skimpy on the shepherds.
Shawnee123 • Oct 25, 2010 8:59 am
My cheesburger pie makes me angry: angry with LOVE.

Other than that, apple pie is the only pie I like. I'll eat the occasional pumpkin but it doesn't really do it for me. Oh, and weird pies like chocolate mousse pies are good. French silk ice cream pie.

Cherry pie pisses me off. It looks like it should taste good, but I hate cherries. All that wonderful pie crust, ruined! My brother is convinced this makes me anti-american.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 25, 2010 9:01 am
Pumpkin is good eating. Pumpkin baked, stewed, or stuffed, and pumpkin bread, pancakes, or muffins, are sweet.

I had a pumpkin pie but I dropped it, so now it's...




... squash. :haha:
glatt • Oct 25, 2010 9:24 am
pumpkin soup. yum...
Undertoad • Oct 25, 2010 9:28 am
Tomato pie always makes me angry that it isn't pizza.
casimendocina • Oct 25, 2010 9:34 am
monster;690271 wrote:
pumpkin pie. wtf is that all about. .


Same for pumpkin scones.
Shawnee123 • Oct 25, 2010 9:36 am
Rutabaga pie? Seriously? What's next, brussels sprouts pie? Pea pie? Celery Pie?
monster • Oct 25, 2010 9:38 am
brussel sprout and velveeta cobbler :yum:
glatt • Oct 25, 2010 9:56 am
Shawnee123;690296 wrote:
brussels sprouts pie?


Oh shit, you just dredged up a memory.

Spinach pie with brussel sprouts. It was in the regular rotation when I was a kid. (Which means we probably had it like 4 times total.) Yuck.

Looking back, I can only imagine the recipe was that you take a frozen pie shell, dump a bag of frozen brussel sprouts in it. Mix up some eggs in a bowl, and maybe throw a little cheese in too, and then dump a box of frozen spinach in as well. Pour this mixture over the brussel sprouts in the crust, and bake.
Cloud • Oct 25, 2010 11:03 am
(makes face) my childhood bane was creamed spinach. No pie, but still yucky.
Glinda • Oct 25, 2010 2:39 pm
Gravdigr;690245 wrote:
Grandma's rock!


I'm confused. Are you complaining that your Grandma's rock pie makes you angry?
Urbane Guerrilla • Oct 26, 2010 1:58 am
I don't understand either Monster or Shawnee here.

Or any necessity to loathe meringue. It ain't but egg whites, air, sugar and cream of tartar. I can't find an atrocity there no matter how hard I beat it. Wonder how Steve feels about soufflés.

Well, de gustibus... but the sole upside to this is there's all the more for me.

It is true one should not skimp on the pecans in pecan pie filling. But the dark Karo-syrup based goo is part of the charm. And it keeps the pecans on your fork.

I am of the opinion -- de gustibus etcetera -- that regular piecrust has no business in a Key lime pie, though: crumb crust, either graham or gingersnap, both of which are made the same way, cracker or cookie augmented with 1/4 cup sugar and stirred together with melted butter.
Urbane Guerrilla • Oct 26, 2010 2:02 am
Cloud;690317 wrote:
(makes face) my childhood bane was creamed spinach. No pie, but still yucky.


Creamed spinach would bake into a nice savory tart. Cheese on top, of course. And season the creaming to advantage -- little touch of Spike(tm) maybe.

Spinach quiche, anyone? Not yucky, but has crust and a decent chance of changing the minds of the spinach haters. Likewise, adding chopped spinach to quiche Lorraine.
Shawnee123 • Oct 26, 2010 8:11 am
I do like quiche.

Years ago there were a couple stupid books out: one about real women not pumping gas and the other about real men not eating quiche.

But now we know that UG likes quiche, and UG is a real man, so it only follows that some real men do eat quiche. :lol:

[COLOR="Silver"]Many are named Steve and have track lighting, too.[/COLOR]
Pete Zicato • Oct 26, 2010 1:22 pm
Rhubarb/strawberry. I'm angry 'cause it's so delicious and I can't have it.
monster • Oct 26, 2010 10:21 pm
Is de gustibus what happens when you eat bean pie then take public transport? That would make me angry if I were sat behind you....
Shawnee123 • Oct 27, 2010 8:52 am
Bwaaaaahaaaaa!
SamIam • Oct 27, 2010 2:32 pm
Cow pies. I have yet to see one that included a single cow.
Shawnee123 • Oct 27, 2010 2:36 pm
haggis!
monster • Oct 27, 2010 5:16 pm
haggis is not a pie.

hip Pies make me angry with their stinky-arsed rag-diapered offspring and body odor.
Pete Zicato • Oct 27, 2010 5:23 pm
SamIam;690853 wrote:
Cow pies. I have yet to see one that included a single cow.

Cows are too expensive to use a whole one to make a single pie. Cow pies are just made from certain parts of the cow.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 28, 2010 1:47 am
That's a load of shit.
Shawnee123 • Oct 28, 2010 8:28 am
yipeee-i-ay, Cow Patty!

[YOUTUBE]OpapdB-bCFI[/YOUTUBE]
footfootfoot • Oct 28, 2010 9:20 am
SamIam;690853 wrote:
Cow pies. I have yet to see one that included a single cow.

I expect you'll be bitterly disappointed when you discover that cottage cheese does not contain any cottages. I know I was.
Shawnee123 • Oct 28, 2010 9:33 am
You're shittin' me.

I guess French Fries aren't french at all, either. :(
Shawnee123 • Oct 28, 2010 9:34 am
monster;690893 wrote:
haggis is not a pie.



Well, wait until Taco Bell's new Haggis Chalupa Grande comes out. It's one step away from being a pie.
monster • Oct 28, 2010 10:31 am
Shawnee123;691004 wrote:
Well, wait until Taco Bell's new Haggis Chalupa Grande comes out. It's one step away from being a pie.


:lol:

You've been double-dipping at Starbucks this morning, haven't you?
Shawnee123 • Oct 28, 2010 10:32 am
If by "double-dipping at Starbucks" you mean "slowly going completely and irretrievably insane" then yes, yes I have been double dipping at Starbucks.
monster • Oct 28, 2010 10:51 am
I was thinking more along the over-caffeinating lines, but whatevas.....
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 28, 2010 2:59 pm
Only angry 'cause I ain't got one. :blush:
One Philadelphia bakery dreamed up this ultimate fall dessert: pumpkin and apple pies baked in chocolate and vanilla cake, fused together and surrounded by buttercream icing.

This oversize creation weighs in at a whopping 15 pounds and measures more than a foot tall. And at 1,800 calories a slice, it's not for the faint of heart.

The Flying Monkey, located in Philadelphia’s famous Reading Terminal Market, bakes this dessert-lover’s fantasy from scratch over the course of two days. It starts with the pies, which it par-bakes. The half-cooked pumpkin pie is dipped into chocolate cake batter and baked. The apple pie and vanilla cake get the same treatment and are baked on top of the chocolate cake. Its massive size means that it spends hours in the oven. Homemade buttercream is then — literally — the icing on the entire cake.
Trilby • Oct 28, 2010 6:41 pm
"What's for desert? Three deserts!"
Pico and ME • Oct 28, 2010 7:08 pm
LOOK at all that icing....makes my teeth hurt.
Urbane Guerrilla • Oct 30, 2010 2:38 am
Shawnee123;690460 wrote:
I do like quiche.

Years ago there were a couple stupid books out: one about real women not pumping gas and the other about real men not eating quiche.

But now we know that UG likes quiche, and UG is a real man, so it only follows that some real men do eat quiche. :lol:


Yay, Shawnee! Today you're making sense. (You're probably prettier than me, too.)

I remember that pair of literary abortions. I'd growl to anyone who'd listen that real men didn't let smartass morons dictate their diet.

Lorraine may be the quiche más macho.

Pumping gas is a given.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 30, 2010 12:17 pm
Oh, these look good. Inside out apple pies. :yum:

http://www.tinyurbankitchen.com/2010/10/inside-out-apple-pies.html
wolf • Oct 30, 2010 2:54 pm
Mince, definitely mince. It's not a proper pie if it's got meat in it. I don't even know what's in mincemeat, nor do I wish to. Science Fiction films of the Fifties and Sixties have taught me a lot, most importantly, that there are some things man was not meant to know.

Shepard's Pie is clearly the result of some freaky British word usage. No flaky pastry crust there, it's not pie.

And before somebody points it out, potpie is a compound word, not having any fruity pie-like qualities, rather like monkeyfucking doesn't actually involve either monkeys or fucking.
Sundae • Oct 30, 2010 3:39 pm
Red sky at night, shepherds delight.
Red sky in the morning, shepherds warning.
Minced meat and mashed potato, shepherds pie.

Hope that clears it up for you.

I am angry at mincemeat (note no gap) pies.
They are Christmas fodder and therefore already in the shops.
Any gathering offering "refreeshments" held after about... oh, tomorrow - will have these and pretty much nothing else.

Not that I turn up to events just because free food is offered of course.
Okay, I do.
And I don't want mince-sodding-pies.
Especially NOT homemade - bleurgh! I'm sure you are a lovely person but you are NOT a pastry chef! And I'm not a great fan of pastry even when it's done well (Pieminister Pies excepted, because then it is done VERY well))

I've no doubt I'll be subjected to these at school over the next two months.
No. I don't like.
Sausage rolls, okay.
Peanuts at a far push.
Mince pies - stuff them where the wassailers don't go.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 30, 2010 6:20 pm
Mincemeat. Minced meat. There is a difference.;)
monster • Oct 30, 2010 7:56 pm
Mince pies rock, especially homemade with homemade mincemeat. I hated them as a kid, though..... and Mr Kipling's mince pies make me angry -that pastry is for pants.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 30, 2010 8:01 pm
The suet helps them slide down easier, after a big turkey day dinner. :yum:
sad_winslow • Oct 30, 2010 11:26 pm
The only pie that pisses me off is the pumpkin one that I tried to make a week ago and the crust burned.

I've got another one in the oven right now and i'm trying again with a better crust, waiting to see if the sonofabitch is going to mess up again. hopefully not, and then i'll have my first successful pie :D

never been much of a baker, but it's pretty fun. I've made tolerably good bread a couple times, and I've also got some cookie bars in the oven right now.

EDIT: Yeah, ok, this pie is pissing me off too. the crust isn't burnt yet but it's taking like 2x longer than it should to cook properly in the middle, and my oven thermometer says it's the right temp in there and everything. argh. grrr.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 31, 2010 2:23 am
Good luck, wet pies are tricky to get the center done without burning the fringe. How about wrapping some foil around the edge?
ZenGum • Oct 31, 2010 3:12 am
Har-pies make me angry. I work with one.

Christmas mince pies here are done with minced fruit.

I am regretfully tolerant that the Cellar Pie is still absent. I hope she comes back soon.
Urbane Guerrilla • Nov 2, 2010 12:58 pm
"Mincemeat" pie is become an etymological appendix to the pie itself -- a trace of what once was. Well, there's an old-school mince-pie recipe in The Most Recent Recipe Thread, which you'll need to scoop out of ancient times now unless somebody Bumps it.

Pie for me does not have to be a sweet dessert. I'm plenty happy with it being savory, gravied, and pastry crusted as an entrée. It's very medieval...
sad_winslow • Nov 7, 2010 3:53 pm
xoxoxoBruce;691695 wrote:
Good luck, wet pies are tricky to get the center done without burning the fringe. How about wrapping some foil around the edge?


actually i changed crusts and it worked out great. :D it still took like twice as long to cook as it should have, but it ended up being good in the end, so I'll take what I can get.

I was told that sweet potato pie, for some reason, cooks better than pumpkin, while tasting almost identical. i may have to give it a shot next.
xoxoxoBruce • Nov 7, 2010 7:04 pm
One of my foremen at Boeing, owned a rib joint in North Philly. Southern style ribs with all the fixin's, and sweet potato pie that would knock your socks off. :yum:
wolf • Nov 7, 2010 8:11 pm
Sweet potato pie tastes yummily like sweet potatoes. Pumpkin Pie tastes of awfulness with cinnamon, cloves, and allspice added to cover the taste. Just because they're both orange doesn't make them taste the same.

(Yes, I am extremely prejudiced against pumpkin pies. Not to the point of being angry, though, which is why I hadn't mentioned them before. Coconut cream makes me angry because it's a pie and I can't eat any of it)
footfootfoot • Nov 7, 2010 8:21 pm
Please don't say "with all the fixin's"
wolf • Nov 7, 2010 8:47 pm
footfootfoot;693208 wrote:
Please don't say "with all the fixin's"


Despite a personal tendency to drop terminal Gs, no, I wouldn't dare say that.
xoxoxoBruce • Nov 8, 2010 12:20 am
footfootfoot;693208 wrote:
Please don't say "with all the fixin's"


And why not, pray tell?
Aliantha • Nov 8, 2010 4:50 am
pumkin pie is a savoury over here.
Sundae • Nov 8, 2010 5:53 am
Savoury doesn't mean the same in America.
It means full of flavour.
Trilby • Nov 8, 2010 6:23 am
Urbane Guerrilla;692210 wrote:
I am very medieval...


UG is funny.
Urbane Guerrilla • Nov 9, 2010 2:26 pm
sad_winslow;693180 wrote:
I was told that sweet potato pie, for some reason, cooks better than pumpkin, while tasting almost identical. i may have to give it a shot next.


If you like pumpkin pie, you'll like sweet potato -- they use pretty much the same spice mix and the texture is the same. You can tell the difference, but you'll still like it.
Urbane Guerrilla • Nov 9, 2010 2:28 pm
Brianna;693258 wrote:
UG is funny.


Hey, I do know one end of a sword from the other. And how to spell Pennsic. Need to brush up on dancing a bransle, though. Been too long.
Urbane Guerrilla • Nov 9, 2010 2:31 pm
Shawnee123;691004 wrote:
Well, wait until Taco Bell's new Haggis Chalupa Grande comes out. It's one step away from being a pie.


Hoch-aye yai yai yai, canta y no llores -- noo that's fusion cooking!
sad_winslow • Nov 14, 2010 6:33 pm
Yeah, I have to disagree with Wolf that really, if you like pumpkin pie you'll probably like sweet potato pie and vice versa. Texturally nearly identical, spice mix is the same, and a flavor that's subtly different but really, very similar.

I think if you tell someone who is used to a grudgingly-purchased-at-the-store-once-a-year pumpkin pie that your sweet potato pie is really pumpkin, they won't notice, and will in fact think that your pie is the best thing on earth and no store pies compare.

I may have to make another one today. Frozen crust and pumpkin mix in a can and hell, that's fine by me. Still beats pre-cooked for some reason.
Trilby • Dec 2, 2010 9:02 am
Indignant Pie - doesn't make me angry at all - it's, actually, pretty damn funny.
kerosene • Dec 2, 2010 9:29 pm
Pecan pies make me angry. Probably just because I hate pecans. they leave my mouth feeling like I just chewed up an eraser. They just sit on the top of the pie staring at me like they are something I want to actually eat.
monster • Dec 2, 2010 9:34 pm
napPies. kid at hockey tonight had a seriously stinky diaper/nappy. Game was too exciting for the mom to take her away and change it. Gag.
Shawnee123 • Dec 2, 2010 9:39 pm
kerosene;697998 wrote:
Pecan pies make me angry. Probably just because I hate pecans. they leave my mouth feeling like I just chewed up an eraser. They just sit on the top of the pie staring at me like they are something I want to actually eat.


Haggis!

I know! You almost feel obligated, but you just can't bring yourself to rise to the occasion of eating one of those S.O.B.s!
kerosene • Dec 2, 2010 9:49 pm
What always gets me is how everyone around me gushes about it. Pecans suck, guys.
Shawnee123 • Dec 2, 2010 9:55 pm
Then there's the pronunciation. Is it pee-kahn? PEE-can? I dropped out of phonetics class in college so that's the best I can do.

Question for all:

How do you pronounce pecan? I use closer to the former than the latter.
monster • Dec 2, 2010 10:04 pm
I love pecans. But not once they've been ruined by being mde into a pie.
Shawnee123 • Dec 2, 2010 10:06 pm
How do you pronounce 'pecan'?
kerosene • Dec 2, 2010 10:12 pm
pees-in-a-can
Clodfobble • Dec 2, 2010 11:23 pm
Puh-KAHN. And they get soggy in a pie, and are therefore no good. Toasted, however, like with brown sugar on top of baked apples and sweet potatoes... well that's a whole different story. Toasted pecans are awesome.
monster • Dec 2, 2010 11:35 pm
Pick-ahn. But that's how the Michigandans taught me.... I think Brits say Peek'n, but they don't eat them much.
Lamplighter • Dec 3, 2010 1:13 am
It seems like I remember a pecan tree along some Texas highway with a sign saying it was the
original soft- or paper-shell tree, from which all of today's commercial trees are descended.

If so, maybe best pronunciation is with a heavy Texan-twang. ;)
glatt • Dec 3, 2010 9:28 am
Pea-cans are yummy. Pea-can pie is too.

I was collecting them off the ground in a park over thanksgiving weekend. The nuts were in a hard shell, and are a pain to get the meat out. Didn't know there was a paper shell variety.
Sundae • Dec 3, 2010 11:03 am
Any nuts in a pie make me angry.
Get your nuts out of my pie!
Shawnee123 • Dec 3, 2010 11:12 am
Sundae Girl;698113 wrote:
Any nuts in a pie make me angry.
Get your nuts out of my pie!


:lol:

Seriously. Listen to the girl!
kerosene • Dec 3, 2010 1:30 pm
Not even almonds?
Sundae • Dec 3, 2010 1:31 pm
I am not Cherry Bakewell. Not even almonds.
wolf • Dec 3, 2010 10:53 pm
Shawnee123;698016 wrote:
Then there's the pronunciation. Is it pee-kahn? PEE-can? I dropped out of phonetics class in college so that's the best I can do.

Question for all:

How do you pronounce pecan? I use closer to the former than the latter.


All depends on where you are in relation to the Mason-Dixon Line. How you feel about NASCAR may factor into the answer, as well.
Urbane Guerrilla • Dec 6, 2010 12:17 am
I say it that way myself.

Somebody who can't like pecans -- jeez, that's hopeless. I'm very fond of pecan pie. I pronounce it with a short A, though, not a broad A.
Juniper • Dec 6, 2010 1:51 am
Pee-kahn. I love 'em. And almonds. But I can't stand walnuts unless they're inside something that hides the bitterness; sort of a metaphor there, but it's almost two a.m. and I can't think of what for.

I just made a pumpkin pie today. Didn't make me angry at all; it turned out perfect! I've been craving one ever since I didn't make one for Thanksgiving. I made carrot cake instead. That was good too.

I love pie. But I absolutely HATE making pie crust. Don't know why; it seems like a simple enough process, but I really prefer just unrolling it out of a box.

Okay wait, there is a pie that makes me angry. Raspberry/blackberry pie, with all those little annoying crunchy seeds. Blech. And Coconut. I hate coconut.
Griff • Dec 6, 2010 7:20 am
Pee-kahn but as conscious push back to the regional flat a.
Trilby • Dec 13, 2010 1:23 pm
Enough with the pecans!!

Currently, currant pie is making me -- well, no so much angry --as miffed.