What do you do when??
Someone you once knew wants nothing to do with you and you have dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married...
If hubby is bigger than you or has a CCL, take a loooong vacation - out of town ! :eek:
Sorry for being so flippant...
My first reaction is that it's a situation beyond your control
so you'll need to accept it and strike a new course in your life.
You avoid her like the lying bitch she is?
The brain of Clod speaks the truth.
Hire an AIDS infested gigolo to hit on her at a bar?
If she wants nothing to do with you, it shouldn't matter whether she's married or not, leave her alone and chalk it up to experience. If you can't respect that, consider that if she is indeed married; but, not legally separated, her husband may [in some states] sue you for alienation of affection if you pursue the relationship. Don't be a chump.
Learn from this relationship. If you "dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married", then you missed a lot of hints and/or had your eyes closed.
"Future behavior is predicted by past behavior"
Thank you Dr Phil.
Now, we can guess what she would do if she were with JBK.
Learn from this relationship. If you "dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married", then you missed a lot of hints and/or had your eyes closed.
Sorry, none of it makes sense: "someone I once knew" and "doesn't want anything to do with me" and "dedicated a lot of time" and "just found out she's married" reeks of big giant stalker to me.
She may not be a lying bitch after all...sounds like she either didn't have a clue or has by now gotten a restraining order.:neutral:
I've been a lot of bad words when crazy stalkers don't get what they want from me.
Hey JBK,
I have been in similar situations before, and for me, the key factor is "...wants nothing to do with you...". [SIZE="4"]Heed this.[/SIZE] More important that her marital status, more important than how much time you've put into the relationship, you should not be where you're not welcome, and most especially when it comes to a woman's heart.
I understand (to the very limited extent you've shared here) how difficult and painful this revelation can be. And how unpleasant the consistent advice you've heard to this point can be. But you should move on. You might get called back later, but you're being shut out now. Take charge of your own feet and tell them to carry your heart off to safer better places.
Oh for crying out loud.
Yeah, poor guy is probably just a misunderstood man in love. Boo the hoo.
WHEN did you know her, jb?
WHEN and HOW did you figure she wanted nothing to do with you?
WHEN and in WHAT WAYS have you invested time in this obsession, I mean, relationship?
WHEN and HOW did you find out she was married?
The Wise Blowhard will always give good advice, having been a crazed stalker himself, I'm guessing (educated guess based on experience...some of y'all know exactly what I mean.) :lol:
I considered that explanation, Shaw, but was giving the benefit of the doubt.
JB - if you really want help with this situation, you have to provide more background.
The Wise Blowhard
User title.
Yeah, I know. I just proposed what I thought when I originally read the post, before the woman was some cheating lying whore...but the advice from the president of the Alan Alda School for Sensitive Men (thanks j! you wrote that, if you're reading) put me right over the edge on the subject.
Perhaps Jb just didn't explain it well. That many of us had the letter A already firmly planted on the woman's person didn't sit well with me.
The stalker types? Maybe you don't know how effed up that can make your life, but I do. It's a scary thing, feeling constantly violated and unsafe.
OK, off the soapbox.
[SIZE="4"]NOBODY[/SIZE] expects the [COLOR="Red"]Shawnee Inquisition!![/COLOR]
JBK, I strongly caution you to consider carefully what you share. Some folks here have already made up their minds and anything you offer will only be used to cudgel you into pulp so that you fit more easily into their iron boxes
[SIZE="4"]NOBODY[/SIZE] expects the [COLOR="Red"]Shawnee Inquisition!![/COLOR]
Her main weapon is humor ... humor and sarcasm. Her two main weapons....
Her main weapon is humor ... humor and sarcasm. Her two main weapons....
Don't forget my ability to see through people who are full of shit.
Mr Understanding Compassion never fooled me for a second. I imagine I'm not at all alone in that assessment.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to return to my iron box. That's where I keep the honest, forthright, and not full of BS people I like (and you know what? I don't always get along with all of them either, but honesty goes all the way with me.)
Now go lacquer something with a coat of deep understanding of human nature that only you can provide, Mr V.
Her main weapon is humor ... humor and sarcasm. Her two main weapons....
Death is my bread and danger is my butter. No, wait. Danger is my bread and death is my butter...no. Death and danger are my various breads and butters.[/paraphrase from What's Up Tiger Lily]
It's Cake or Death? Bread and Butter doesn't even come into it
it was just a hypothetical question... really I knew her since high school we dated for like 6 months and nothing ever really materialized, she accused me of being in a cult and "did" get a restraining order... that wasn't necessary... and then 5 years later when the restraining order was up I called her to tell her sorry and that she was not going to hear from me for a reallllllllllly long time and that's when I found out she was getting married...
Now I think you're just pulling our collective leg. ;)
and then 5 years later when the restraining order was up I called her to tell her sorry and that she was not going to hear from me for a reallllllllllly long time
And yet you're asking what you should
do, as if you ought to do anything further here. You don't. Only stalkers and psychopaths call to let you know they're not going to call again. Leave this poor girl the fuck alone.
what ever dude... we have mutual friends.. and that's what I'm concerned with I'm not the type that just leaves friends in the dark...
what ever dude... we have mutual friends.. and that's what I'm concerned with I'm not the type that just leaves friends in the dark...when I could be there too, in the dark, scaring the fuck out of them...
:lol:
monster you reminded me of this Emo Phillips bit:
Houses make strange noises at night like creak, groan and "Emo, I'm going to kill you." ...So I remembered what my mother told me, "Whenever you feel afraid just whistle a happy tune... [whistling] ...then I felt a hand around my throat and a voice said, "Thanks. I thought I'd never find you in the dark."
what ever dude... we have mutual friends.. and that's what I'm concerned with I'm not the type that just leaves friends in the dark...
Maybe I'm just weird but I would have seen a restraining order and almost 2,000 days of no contact as signals that we weren't friends.
Someone you once knew wants nothing to do with you and you have dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married...
Can you elaborate on what you think your possible courses of action might be here? It seems pretty obvious that "respect her wishes, and leave her alone" is the correct choice. I can't think of any others. There aren't any others.
Hopefully it doesn't really matter. If she has half a brain, she's already filing for another restraining order right this minute.
Well... I was getting mix signals from the begging.. the restraining order was
was because she thought I was involved in some sort of cult, which was not true, unless I was brain washed.. therefore I have kept my distance from the begging.. and I think I was brain washed... so now I'm left with nothing but doubt and it's just difficult to not think what could have been...
Uh dude- Do you have a cat or hamster or something else in your life to think about other than some girl from 5+ years ago that thought so little of you as to get a restraining order to keep you away from her?
WTF are you thinking about. Let it go. Look forward. You can't go back anyway. What was will never be. Its in the past - LEAVE IT THERE>
Trust Me I'm over it... the whole situation just rattles my mind sometimes.. to me it's like a mystery that I must solve and the only clue I have is her....
OK, noone is actually buying any of this story, right? Right?
At the same time I don't want to have anything to do with her... I dunno
this is what it amounts to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b4QXey_m5cOK, noone is actually buying any of this story, right? Right?
Right.
I get a mari****o vibe from this nutter.
Trust Me I'm over it... the whole situation just rattles my mind sometimes.. to me it's like a mystery that I must solve and the only clue I have is her....
No, you're not over it. You just admitted that you aren't over it--in the same breath. There is no mystery. There is nothing to solve. You freaked this girl out so bad (for whatever reason) that she has taken drastic measures to avoid ALL CONTACT with you.
Well... I was getting mix signals from the begging.. the restraining order was
was because she thought I was involved in some sort of cult, which was not true, unless I was brain washed.. therefore I have kept my distance from the begging.. and I think I was brain washed... so now I'm left with nothing but doubt and it's just difficult to not think what could have been...
There are no mixed signals. These are CLEAR SIGNALS. There should be NO DOUBT, there is NOTHING that "could have" or will EVER, EVER, EVER, in a MILLION YEARS, "be" between you and this person. EVER.
If I was this girl I would be buying a gun. THAT IS HOW FUCKING CRAZY YOU SOUND.
Imagine going before a judge and asking for a restraining order because you think your "friend" is in a cult. Think you'd be walking away with one? Good for 5 YEARS?
Yeah, no.
So I guess I should get a restraining order myself against the people who started the whole mess then.. hmm Rockefeller Construction. Trust me there is more to this than just a bunch of mixed up rules I have no intention of ever talking to her again until I get married then I am going to invite her on a double date to the ballet.
I think I need to get a restraining order
Wot everyone else said, with a firm slap up the back of the head for emphasis.
Leave past-woman alone. Never contact. Maybe you need some counselling, or psychotherapy, if you really were brainwashed in a cult.
Or go find some other chick and bang her into the middle of next week, if that will take your mind off things.
OK yall win.. I have no choice but to completely forget about her..
ONE LAST TIME
Goodbye Annette...
M I C
(See you in five years)
K E Y
(Why? Because there's a restraining order)
M O U S E
M I C
(See you in five years)
K E Y
(Why? Because there's a restraining order)
M O U S E
That was LOL :D
Wait, did you say Annette??? This changes everything. I know her. She is hot, and she was just playing hard to get. keep trying! You'll win her over yet.
It would seem that there are many unforgettable Annettes out there.
Annette Andajar, I think.
She's a lepidopterologist.
So JBK's behaviour is an example of the butterfly effect, then.
:facepalm:
Wait, did you say Annette??? This changes everything. I know her. She is hot, and she was just playing hard to get. keep trying! You'll win her over yet.
:headshake Naughty naughty, ZenGum. I fear JBK will take your advice for real ...
Zen needs a spanky spanky.
I'm ordering tickets to Badelaide, Baustralia, as I type.
Oh, that seems stalkish. :unsure:
M I C
(See you in five years)
K E Y
(Why? Because there's a restraining order)
M O U S E
Crap, I just read that more thoroughly. Need new keyboard.
You can spank me with your old one, then. :D