Men over 40 should stare at large breasts for 10 minutes a day

Undertoad • Jul 28, 2010 11:39 am
http://www.themedguru.com/20091206/newsfeature/stare-boobs-longer-life-study-86131320.html

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.
...
Weatherby explained the concept stating, "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthy."

"Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

In addition, she also recommended that men over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes.
Shawnee123 • Jul 28, 2010 12:18 pm
What if they're assmen, or leg guys? ;)
squirell nutkin • Jul 28, 2010 12:50 pm
Shawnee123;673242 wrote:
What if they're assmen, or leg guys? ;)


They're S.O.L., I guess. But I'm not a doctor so I wouldn't really know.
Shawnee123 • Jul 28, 2010 12:52 pm
Well, that "doctor" is an anti-assite, and I for one take great umbrage. She must have bigguns, and needs some attention. And what about lesbians? Do they need to stare at OTHER large breasts, or can they be helped by staring at their own?

What happens to me if I look at giant peni every day?

Oooh, get your PhD quick, we're going to do this study! :)
Getgo • Jul 28, 2010 4:08 pm
Men of any age really!

http://standardmadness.com/columns/10-reasons-why-staring-at-your-cleavage-is-scientifically-justified
BigV • Jul 28, 2010 6:41 pm
And what about lesbians? Do they need to stare at OTHER large breasts, or can they be helped by staring at their own?
Depends, are they onanists?
monster • Jul 28, 2010 7:20 pm
BigV;673311 wrote:
Depends, are they onanists?


If they need Depends, I'd definitely say they'd need to look at someone else's -theirs are probably tucked into the wasteband.....
HungLikeJesus • Jul 28, 2010 8:28 pm
Here's the problem with the study:

Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.


Who amongst us could truly refrain?
sad_winslow • Jul 29, 2010 5:06 am
Wellll, maybe it's just to help guys not feel so bad about having to get yearly anal probes at that age. It's only fair, right?
Shawnee123 • Jul 29, 2010 8:37 am
But we have to have our breasts smashed between hard plates so y'all got something to look at.

I'm waiting on word from the grants people to see if I get funding to ascertain the effect of staring at large penises every day.

If I don't get the money I will ask for volunteers for an unofficial study. No, you don't need to apply, and you don't, oh, and you...seriously? Are you kidding with that thing? :lol:
Sundae • Jul 29, 2010 8:42 am
I'll be in your control group Shawnee.
I managed nearly four years without gazing at ANY penises, so I may as well put my ability to good medical use.
Shawnee123 • Jul 29, 2010 8:49 am
Me too, but do you think that we may no longer be able to tell the difference between the larger penises, and the...ahem, shall we say girth-challenged penises? I do like the idea that we have not been inundated with penis, one right after the other, as they all started to look pretty much the same after a while (or so I vaguely recall.) Now I expect some sort of personality to be attached to a penis, otherwise it's all like meh.
Trilby • Jul 29, 2010 8:55 am
I,too, bravely volunteer my expertise in the matter.

Strawberry Queens, UNITE!
ZenGum • Jul 29, 2010 8:57 am
Killjoy alert:

[COLOR="LemonChiffon"]So, being that kinda guy, I moseyed over to Google Scholar and entered "Karen Weatherby". The first three hits mentioned the story and for a moment I wondered if holy crap is this real? Following the links however, reveals that this story has been academically denied for at least nine years.

Walker, JH and Le, Q (2001) Rural health and IT: a critical disclosure analysis perspective. In: The 6th National Rural Health Conference, 4-7 March 2001, Canberra, Australia.[/COLOR]
Sundae • Jul 29, 2010 8:57 am
I can't judge a penis by just looking though.
I go by fit.
Shawnee123 • Jul 29, 2010 8:57 am
Only Strawberry Queens for this study! Sheldon, you in? ;)
ZenGum • Jul 29, 2010 8:58 am
Brianna;673371 wrote:
I,too, bravely volunteer my expertise in the matter.

Strawberry Queens, UNITE!


Strawberry Queens? Is that like when your cherry grows back?
Shawnee123 • Jul 29, 2010 8:59 am
Sundae Girl;673374 wrote:
I can't judge a penis by just looking though.
I go by fit.


Then there's the old "width vs length" preference. Sigh, this is going to be WAY less scientific than I'd hoped. :yelsick:
Sundae • Jul 29, 2010 8:59 am
Strawberry Queens? Is that like when your cherry grows back?

It's a festival thing.
I get in because of my tramp stamp.
Shawnee123 • Jul 29, 2010 9:00 am
You all crack me up! :lol:
squirell nutkin • Jul 29, 2010 11:05 am
Here is a simple staring chart I devised to help clarify thigns:

Staring at breasts
(D cup) 10 min
(C cup) 15 min
(B cup) 20 min
(A cup) 25 min
(Bee stings) 30 min
(DD and above) 5 minutes
SteveDallas • Jul 29, 2010 2:09 pm
Does "staring at breasts" mean real ones in person? Are photos acceptable?
Clodfobble • Jul 29, 2010 3:59 pm
The key is getting sexually aroused, so I would assume that anything and everything that accomplishes that for you would be acceptable.

Yes, even that. Ya sicko.
xoxoxoBruce • Jul 29, 2010 4:28 pm
squirell nutkin;673408 wrote:
Here is a simple staring chart I devised to help clarify thigns:

Staring at breasts
(D cup) 10 min
(C cup) 15 min
(B cup) 20 min
(A cup) 25 min
(Bee stings) 30 min
(DD and above) 5 minutes

False chart.
This relies on the incorrect assumption that bigger is better.
Everyone's chart should be based according to their personal preferences.
wolf • Jul 29, 2010 5:22 pm
Before you run out and get prescriptions for breast-staring from your PCP, I'm afraid to inform you that Snopes says nope.
xoxoxoBruce • Jul 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Aw that ain't Snopes, that's just About.com, what do they know.
Besides, just because there isn't a genuine medical study doesn't mean it's not true.
And the placebo effect, any Doctor will verify the placebo effect.

I not only believe, and wholeheartedly endorse, the practice, I believe the time values are too low and it should be practiced at every opportunity.:cool:
Gravdigr • Jul 29, 2010 5:56 pm
Shawnee123;673364 wrote:
I'm waiting on word from the grants people to see if I get funding to ascertain the effect of staring at large penises every day.

If I don't get the money I will ask for volunteers for an unofficial study. No, you don't need to apply, and you don't, oh, and you...seriously? Are you kidding with that thing? :lol:


Shawnee123;673369 wrote:
Me too, but do you think that we may no longer be able to tell the difference between the larger penises, and the...ahem, shall we say [I]girth-challenged[/I] penises?...Now I expect some sort of personality to be attached to a penis, otherwise it's all like meh.


Shawnee123;673377 wrote:
Then there's the old "width vs length" preference. Sigh, this is going to be WAY less scientific than I'd hoped. :yelsick:


I thought you were going for length. I thought 'Damn, I'm out.'

But then you said girth, and BAM! I'm back in!

Cuzz I can fill a tuna can.:cool:

Oh, and you should go by weight.
BigV • Jul 29, 2010 6:13 pm
"It's all about the dowas."

And xoB was right, but too narrow when he touted the placebo effect. Not just any Doctor, but all the men that are not doctors will tout it as well.
squirell nutkin • Jul 29, 2010 9:14 pm
xoxoxoBruce;673437 wrote:
False chart.
This relies on the incorrect assumption that bigger is better.
Everyone's chart should be based according to their personal preferences.

This is not about personal preferences, it is about medicine. A lot of times we don't like the taste of the medicine that is good for us. This is about health, dammit!

gratify your personal breast desires on your own time!;)
wolf • Jul 30, 2010 2:26 pm
xoxoxoBruce;673452 wrote:
Aw that ain't Snopes, that's just About.com, what do they know.


I fixeded it, so it is Snopes now, and it says the same thing about.com did, but with more authority.

Now, as it happens, I'm willing, in the interests of science only, to offer to have my breastsesses stared at to test the hypothesis.
BrianR • Jul 30, 2010 3:26 pm
Let's start with pix. Bruce can fill us in on the difference between a picture and real life.
spudcon • Jul 30, 2010 7:33 pm
I'll volunteer to stare at breasts all day.
As for the penis study, if a penis needs personality, I can paint a smiley face on mine, but only for one on one observation by 1 woman at a time. Sorry Sheldon, Women only.
xoxoxoBruce • Jul 31, 2010 12:15 am
wolf;673581 wrote:
I fixeded it, so it is Snopes now, and it says the same thing about.com did, but with more authority.

They are saying the same thing, there is no study, but that doesn't make it untrue.
I stand by my previous position. :blush:
Griff • Jul 31, 2010 9:22 am
Time to take your medicine.
Spexxvet • Jul 31, 2010 11:03 am
Sundae Girl;673366 wrote:
I'll be in your control group Shawnee.
I managed nearly four years without gazing at ANY penises, so I may as well put my ability to good medical use.


Blindfold sex, you naughty girl?
Spexxvet • Jul 31, 2010 11:03 am
wolf;673581 wrote:
...Now, as it happens, I'm willing, in the interests of science only, to offer to have my breastsesses stared at to test the hypothesis.


Skin to win!
blue • Jul 31, 2010 5:05 pm
wolf;673581 wrote:
offer to have my breastsesses stared at to test the hypothesis.


bring it!
Gravdigr • Jul 31, 2010 5:59 pm
My eyes are bugged and ready!!
Shawnee123 • Aug 1, 2010 10:11 am
spudcon;673617 wrote:
I'll volunteer to stare at breasts all day.
As for the penis study, if a penis needs personality, I can paint a smiley face on mine, but only for one on one observation by 1 woman at a time. Sorry Sheldon, Women only.


That right there IS personality. I lol'd! :)