Clodfobble FAQ's

The earth orbits the sun only because Clodfobble told the sun to stand still.

That's not even a question, let alone a frequently asked one.


Here's one I get at least 2-3 times a week, often by more than one person within a single grocery trip:

You've got a great little helper there, doncha?

Answer: No, I don't. I've got a chihuahua on espresso, who makes grocery shopping damn near impossible. It stopped being cute years ago, I assure you.

How about a recipe then?

:lol: @ clod.

spudcon wrote:

How about a recipe then?

Take your pick.

Clodfobble;671854 wrote:

Here's one I get at least 2-3 times a week, often by more than one person within a single grocery trip:

This violates a principle I've been working on formulating for a while: the Principle Of Least Human Interaction.

Essentially: there's very little up-side to me saying something like that to you. And there's a lot of potential down-side (as you've demonstrated).

So why should I say it? More to the point why do so many people feel compelled to say it?

SteveDallas;671992 wrote:

This violates a principle I've been working on formulating for a while: the Principle Of Least Human Interaction.

Essentially: there's very little up-side to me saying something like that to you. And there's a lot of potential down-side (as you've demonstrated).

Best illustrated by asking a woman "when are you due?" when she's not. :bonk:

Right. And if she IS pregnant, unless she's a relative or close family friend, wtf business of mine is it when she's due?

Wow. I screwed that up. I started the thread then went to a birthday party/8 hour happy hour - guess I should have doublechecked the thread.

My plan was to give an answer and have dwellars submit the question tailored to the answer. Kind of a FAQ but written in reverse.

Threads = paper boats... set 'em adrift, and they go where they want. :lol:

lol @ bruce - Kinda like herding cats . . .

SteveDallas wrote:

So why should I say it? More to the point why do so many people feel compelled to say it?

I think it usually comes down to the fact that they were embarrassed to realize they were staring, and felt compelled to cover up their embarrassment with a comment. So far nobody's had the balls to come right out and say what they're really thinking, which is either, "Wow, I'm sorry," or "You should spank him more," depending on the person.

Oh yeah, here's another frequently-asked question:

So what's for dinner?

Answer: Hell if I know.

Yeah, but I bet you can rattle off a whole list of what's not for dinner. :haha:

I think it all comes down to what level of assholery your at that day. And it ranges from engaging in the dribble of conversation to insulting them in a horrible manner.

xoxoxoBruce;672159 wrote:

Yeah, but I bet you can rattle off a whole list of what's not for dinner. :haha:

: applause :

My favourites-in class:

No. 1: What's that? (as you're about to give the students a handout).

The answer I'd like to give: If you wait a second until I give it to you and look at it then, you'll find out.

No. 2: What are we doing today?
If you wait a second (like when class actually starts), I'll tell you.

Grrrrrrrrrr (a very mild one though). At least they're interested enough to ask as oppossed to being surly or aggressive and hurling expletives or chairs at me.

I feel as though I'm terrible at being human, I hate hate hate haaate small talk.

I'm so glad my BFF hasn't gotten knocked up again recently, when you're shopping for baby clothes and you're plus sized, and the person with you is actually pregnant but size 0...

Let's just say there's a lot of cashiers in the area who should've gone home with black eyes.

[SIZE="4"]Razzmatazz13[/SIZE]
straight on till morning

Join Date: Jun 2007
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[COLOR="Red"]Posts: 1,000[/COLOR]

I feel as though I'm terrible at being human, I hate hate hate haaate small talk.

I'm so glad my BFF hasn't gotten knocked up again recently, when you're shopping for baby clothes and you're plus sized, and the person with you is actually pregnant but size 0...

Let's just say there's a lot of cashiers in the area who should've gone home with black eyes.

What a great post and for it to be your 100th just made it even better. Thought I'd quote it for ya.

Clodfobble;672118 wrote:

I think it usually comes down to the fact that they were embarrassed to realize they were staring, and felt compelled to cover up their embarrassment with a comment. So far nobody's had the balls to come right out and say what they're really thinking, which is either, "Wow, I'm sorry," or "You should spank him more," depending on the person.

I thought of this when I was in the library today.
Woman in front of me, baby in pushchair, toddler on foot.
I waited an extra couple of minutes (literal minutes, which feels like about 15) because the little boy did not want to hand over his wallchart to the librarian to scan. And then he didn't want it rolled up. Or put in a bag.

So a couple of extra minutes of, "Come on Matthew. Matthew. Matthew. Come on, give the lady the paper. Matthew, Matthew. Come on." While she stood at the counter, the baby in the pushchair cried and we all stood on attandance for a toddler. Now I know what my Mum would have done in this situation. But I also know I grew up terrified of her temper and disapproval.

So I took a breath and started reading one of the books. Not ostentatiously. I no longer have pink hair. Just in the way I always do in a queue. After all, the child may have been autistic. Or maybe the mother is just focusing on being reasonable and loving. And I wasn't in a hurry.

I did roll my eyes when she stopped to have a conversation with him RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE AUTOMATIC DOORS!!!! Ahem.
Ah well, you can't win them all.
I guess there is a fine line between letting your own child know how important they are... and teaching children that other people just don't matter. And like I said, threads like My Child Is A Nutter (as well as my work in school) do make me stop and think more and condemn less.

To be fair, SG, your frustration was valid IMHO. I don't ask or plead with Minifob; it's pointless. Were I in the situation you describe, I would have lifted him up to the counter so the chart could be scanned without his removing his hands from it, or worst case scenario, simply pried it from his fingers and let him scream until it was handed back. The problem is, people are intolerant of the screaming, too.