Engaged! - the Razz edition
Hey all! Just wanted to spread the word that during his boot leave, my wonderful boyfriend proposed!
congrats. he's a lucky man!
congrats! You both look great!
Razzy! I am so happy for you! Congratulations, beautiful girl!
Congrats! I wish you guys the best!
Wonderful ... Good luck to both of you
Many congrats Razz.
Erm.... you did say yes didn't you?
Congratulations! You both look so very happy!
OutSTANDING! I would say lucky fellow, but smart guys make a lot of their own luck. He's a smart fellow. wtg!
Excellent News. Will you have to live on an army base, then?
Excellent News. Will you have to live on an army base, then?
Only if she changes men. ;) He's a Marine and a good shot so I wouldn't suggest it.
Only if she changes men. ;) He's a Marine.
well a marine base then.... or wherever they live...... sheesh a uniform's a uniform, innit?
:bolt:
:lol:
C'mon now, we did a whole damn thread on the Marines being part of the Navy. Damnit, I knew you weren't paying attention, young lady. :smack:
Congratulations, Razz! Here's to many safe duty posts and a life of joy to you both.
May you live as long as you wish, and love as long as you live.
Thanks everyone! Most likely we'll be living on base if we can swing it (free housing is good for poor people) and his job will keep him away from the front lines, mostly...so try not to worry too much for us! On the upside, constantly moving around will probably turn me back into an internet junkie, so I may come down with a severe case of cellaritis. *cough*
Cellaritis? Excellent. :thumb:
Congratulations, Razz! You guys make a super cute couple. I pass on favorite wish/blessing I got on my wedding day: "May you spend many happy years together, working things out because you love each other."
Congratulations, Razz!!
Picture of the ring! Picture of the ring! Picture of the ring!
Well its about Damn time he proposed !!!! ;)
Congrats !!!!!
I don't know who any of you people are but I love the photo. Congatulations!
Ring photos coming as soon as the sun decides to come out again...
Thanks everyone!
Rhianne -
Aren't those BCG's sexy? Wooo Military high fashion!
Aren't those BCG's sexy? Wooo Military high fashion!
we called them Birth control devices ,
One thing than CAN be said about them , they ARE Sturdy !!!
I had an ex-marine in my class, in 1963, who wore the same damn glasses.:D
Wonderful news m'dear! You look awesome together :)
This is great! Congratulations.
Aren't those BCG's sexy? Wooo Military high fashion!
we called them Birth control devices ,
One thing than CAN be said about them , they ARE Sturdy !!!
They've been going with "birth control goggles/glasses"
Dummy changed out of his uniform just before he popped the question, so the actual engagement photos (which I have yet to acquire from family members) are of me in dress clothes and him in a t-shirt and shorts...but at least he's got normal glasses on in those :D
You have been busy! Congrats! :thumb:
Congratulations Razz. That's wonderful news. He's a lucky fella. :)
Sorry for the delay... but here's a photo of the ring!
Very nice. Just like mine. Only bigger. :D
srsly, though, love the classic simplicity.
I'd like to second all the congrats messages and flag that I really like Chocolatl's message.
[QUOTE=Chocolatl;670449] "May you spend many happy years together, working things out because you love each other."[/QUOTE
Sorry for the delay... but here's a photo of the ring!
Beautiful! Nice ring too!
I'm very happy for you both. :)
The ring is actually a family heirloom from my dad's family, according to my grandmother and my mother, the story is thus:
The stone was first set in a man's 14k gold ring with crossed golf clubs (the stone was the ball). It was designed by my great grandmother for her husband. When he died, she kept the ring and eventually it was given to my grandfather as a gift. He then set it into an engagement ring for my grandmother in January of 1951. In 1986 it was given to my father to be re-set and presented to my mother. They divorced, and my mother held onto the ring for several years. In 1996 there was a large flood in the area which completely destroyed my mother's house and all of her belongings. Somehow, though most of the items were swept out of the house or destroyed and moved within it, the ring sat exactly where it was left in its ring box on the bathroom sink. At that time it was given back to my grandmother for safekeeping with the understanding that it would return to me when I was an adult. It was given to Ben when he asked my hand, and I am currently wearing my mother's setting.
I'm the last one with my last name, and no, I don't intend to keep it. It makes me pretty sad because we can trace our family line back to the 1600's so I'm really glad to have my own little link with our family that I can pass down to my children eventually.
Thanks for listening to my story! I know it's way more exciting for me than it is for everyone else!
Lovely, Razz. Wishing you years of smiles and laughter! :)
Razz... that's a lovely story of the ring.
Please write it down and put it in the ring box for safe keeping for the next generation.
And don't get worked up about your maiden name...
Just ask my daughter (Mrs Rachael Anne Mxxxx-Bxxxx)
(That just may have been a stipulation in her acceptance of the marriage proposal) ;)
I don't think I'm worked up per say, it's just a little sad. My grandparents had 2 girls and one boy, one girl never had kids, the other girl had sons, and the boy had a daughter, it happens. It also just so happens that my aunt likes to research lineage and so I know a little more about my family name than most people do (for example, I also know what it was before it got butchered at ellis island ;) )
She's currently researching my SO's family name, and she's got him all the way back into Ireland at this point, so I'm taking another good name, it's just a little sad that mine dies out for it. I like having the connection to my family, it's hard to get my dad's side to talk about their past. (Probably why my aunt did the research in the first place)
Why not ask him to take your name? It's not so unusual these days
Because if I take his and he takes mine, well things will get very confusing for the families around christmas.
Confusing the families at Christmas is part of the fun! :)
I had a hard time giving up my maiden name, too. It is a very distinct German name that won't live on through my brother...maybe my cousin will be able to pass it on through his son. But I gave it up, finally, for my husband's very common and easier to spell name.
I am so happy for you, Razz. May you two be blessed with many happy years together.
Why not ask him to take your name? It's not so unusual these days
hyphenated surname?
hyphenated surname?
Good in theory, but when Mr and Mrs Jones-Johnson begat Sheila, and Mr and Mrs Bartlebee-Newbonger begat Frank, then Frank and Sheila fall in love and marry, they then become Mr and Mrs Jones-Johnson-Bartlebee-Newbonger.
They begat Mark Jones-Johnson-Bartlebee-Newbonger who marries Carrie Smith-Edwards-Sanchez-Cunningham, and they have a darling baby boy named Max Jones-Johnson-Bartlebee-Newbonger-Smith-Edwards-Sanchez-Cunningham.
And so on. :)
That would be a fun problem for the computer geeks in State Depts of Vital Statistics.
But I think the royalty (Brits ?) have been doing it all along.
I will never have a hyphenated name, if that's your thing, go for it. But after working in customer service, it's too confusing/difficult to set up your account.
For example, even couples with different last names often end up with multiple accounts because our system searches by last name+zip code.
If you send me friends to refer "Mr and Mrs Bob Johnson" can be one account but "Mr Bob Johnson and Mrs Sue Tallywhacker" are two separate referrals, there's just no other way to input it.
Searching a hyphenated last name means that I have to save both parts of your name in my notes, search one and then the other, because my search function can't handle a hypen.
I realize that this is just one company with a terrible computer programmer running the game, but I'm sure a lot of other ones have the same problem.
Plus, if you hyphenate our names, it ends up sounding like a nascar race, and that's just not happening.
Keep your name then. Many women do and the trend is becoming more common. Some women with Phd's do it because of the hassle to change the paperwork. I forget specifically what it was though.
I took my husbands last name, although now that I think about it it really want necessary because we didn't have kids. However the funny thing is, when I spell our name over the phone, oftentimes the person on the other hand will hyphenate it!
Rass, if this is the way your computer system works, it's grounds to dismiss the programmer for incompetence.
What happens
with more than one J_Smith20213 ?
when Jane Smith gets married or divorced or moves ?
I can understand having an indexed look-up like that, but not the unique account identifier.
My condolences... :sniff:
Keep your name then. Many women do and the trend is becoming more common. Some women with Phd's do it because of the hassle to change the paperwork. I forget specifically what it was though.
It's not the PhD so much but Academia in general. You make your name through publishing work and being cited in the publications of others. You can't change the name on anything previously published. So you change your name, you're back to square zero.
Beest and I wanted the same name for family reasons. I wanted to keep mine in theory, just because Ilike to rebel, but inpractice I hated it. We tried to come up with a new one we both liked, but it just wasn't worth the effort and I didn't hate his name, so I took it. And then i wrapped it in bacon and it was much better ;) :p:
Rass, if this is the way your computer system works, it's grounds to dismiss the programmer for incompetence.
What happens
with more than one J_Smith20213 ?
when Jane Smith gets married or divorced or moves ?
I can understand having an indexed look-up like that, but not the unique account identifier.
My condolences... :sniff:
Since you asked... :D
You can have multiple accounts under the same name, and you are able to update the name on your account...but you can't have the same account under multiple names. For large cities, there's obviously more than one "smith 90210" but if you search that name, and the wife/husband has a different last name, it won't show in the results. (Same for if you're a dummy and created a second account with your work address on file instead of your home address)
And yes, I agree that our entire computing staff is either highly incompetent or completely unaware of how we work, this is just one tiny problem in a sea of billions.
In fact a few months ago, when our IT guy from the UK came over, he sat with me for about an hour, and thus far, all of the suggestions/issues that I discussed with him have been fixed. Go me.
For everyone who doesn't really care how my computer system at work works :)
I plan to take his last name, and I'm happy to do so. I just wanted to express that the ring makes me happy because it's tied to a part of my family that I don't know much about.
In my opinion, because taking the man's last name is the "norm" for the country I happen to live in it's just easier. I realize that some feel it's archaic and some feel like it's the dude trying to oppress you, and some people are just so gosh derned forward thinking that they want their men to take their names, and some people dig the hypen, and some people move it to their middle names so they can hang onto it, and some people create new and improved last names, and some people just have ugly last names they want to get rid of, and...and...and.....
If any of the above is your thing, then go for it. It's just not for me.
My SO has a decent last name, and I'm proud to wear it eventually, it's just a bummer that my last name is over. If the family was worried about it, my dad coulda had more kids. He didn't. Game over.
Ya can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself. :thumb:
You got it 100% correct - different strokes for different folks. You've chosen what is best for you two. That's the right thing to do.
My ex step-father paid my ex $1000 to return to her maiden name. (Which was fine to me btw, I could give a shit what she calls herself)
Before she got married, she wanted to lose the name because she didn't like her abusive family. But money talks, even stupid money.
Thus far my mom took her husband's name - got divorced - took her maiden name - married my dad - took his name - got divorced - kept his name - got married - took her husband's name
too...much....paperworkkkk
After my mom divorced her second husband (my dad,) she decided that rather than go back to her maiden name for the second time, she'd choose a new name entirely: her own mother's maiden name. On the one hand, I thought this was a little weird, but on the other, it meant she didn't have to deal with yet another name change when she eventually left my stepfather.
You just described my mom, Fob. 'cept she took an (alleged) old family name from generations back. Then hyphenated it with her next husband.... No idea what she's using now.....
In UK, it's not the norm to go back to the maiden name after divorce so much. Costs money for a start....
Yeah, a friend of mine's mom never went back after her divorce because, as she put it, by that point she'd spent more years of her life as the husband's name than the original name anyway.
I kept my married name. Easier to spell and pronounce, and my first, middle, and last names are symmetrical in number. :blush:
I reckon going with the Spanish way of things is the solution.
When a woman gets married, she keeps her name and adds her husbands name. e.g. Jane Smith of [husband's name], meaning that she continues to be there are kids, then the kids have both surnames e.g. first name + father's surname + mother's surname. All names are put on all documents. Confusing to get one's head around at first, but I reckon it works.
The Spaniards still have the same problem, they just don't use hyphens.
Jane Jones Smith (Jones being her mother's name, Smith being her father's) marries John Doe, and becomes Jane Jones Smith de Doe. They have a daughter, who is named Sally Jones Smith Doe (because remember, Jones isn't a middle name, her mother's last name is, in fact, considered to be Jones Smith, and Sally's last name is Jones Smith Doe in its entirety.)
Sally marries Pedro, and becomes Sally Jones Smith Doe de Santiago...
Ad infinitum or ad nauseam, whichever comes first. Most rational people start dropping names from the middle at some point, but I have seen documents (researching Spain for a thing in college) that prove not everyone is rational in this regard.
so I took it. And then i wrapped it in bacon and it was much better ;) :p:
It's a shame that meme was around at the time, we could have wrapped it, or chopped the bacon and stuffed it inside, would have worked pretty well.
Marcie Dahlgren-Frost: Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to remove the Frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen.
I know a woman who had to have surgery to have her hyphen removed!
I know a woman who had to have surgery to have her hyphen removed!
Was she still able to have a period? :D
A period of mourning. :)
Would that be the mourning after?
In UK, it's not the norm to go back to the maiden name after divorce so much. Costs money for a start....
I dunno, I was considered very odd by almost everyone for not reverting to my maiden name...
I also had a friend who chose to change her name by deed poll after her divorce. She was Indian, but had no contact with her birth family, instead she was brought up in England by an elderly and fairly distant relative. So she felt no connection to her maiden name. He husband cheated on her and left her within a year of marriage, so she certainly didn't want to keep her married name.
So she chose something quite unusual and distrinctive which still fit her heritage. I won't type it here in case she still has the same name! I quite admired her for that.
Then perhaps it's regional. Mybad for generalizing. Still, it's moot at Razz is getting married, not divorced, thank goodness!
Congratulations, and sorry it took me so long to respond. I couldn't figure out what you were ENRAGED about.
I dunno, I was considered very odd by almost everyone...
Not here :cool:
Congrats Razz! (very sorry for the delay)
Whens the wedding and are we invited?
:D
This comes from a book which I've only just started. I have no idea if it has a happy ending, but the sentiment is not one I've come across before ever, so thought I'd include it to steer away from the thread drift.
"The point of marriage is not to create a commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both of their fullest freedom and development. But once that realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side by side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which give them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky."