Insults
I need new ones. One sentence, as offensive as possible. (Not too personal)
Something like:
Amy Winehouse looks like a wet, sticky, AIDS-infected, anorexic, syphilated wharf rat.
Or:
Oh yeah, well, your cooch stinks.
Be as creative or as base as you want. Have at it, but try not to piss anybody off (like "LumberJim is a big ol' dumbhead.":headshake).
"Your hair looks so beautiful! I guess keeping your head up your ass prevents split ends and sun damage."
Lumberjim is a big ol'...
softie.
;)
Actually heard someone say this about an employer:
"He's a goddamn filthy bag-lapper and he can lap my bag. And if that ain't filthy enough for him, he can lap his own."
Depending on the situation...
You're such a bootlicker that you got calluses on your tongue.
He comes from a long line of real estate people -- they're a vacant lot.
Sleep with you? I'd rather barf through my peehole.
Boy, the whole "one sentence" thing went right out the window.
A shitball like you should be wiped off of the planet, but there isn't any such thing as a roll of toilet paper the size of the Sun."
I came up with a new one along the lines of "car wash cu**". Of course, a rip-off.
New one:
K-mart Parking Lot Hooker!
My new one. I like it. You can change it if you want as you can be versatile with the word Hooker and change it out with even dirtier slang terms. You may even add to it if you wish, with adjectives...
I even made a back-story for the life of a k-mart parking lot hooker.... I have an active imagination. It includes jelly shoes, and 50 cents to ride the kids rides. :)
"So THAT'S what a prom-night dumpster baby looks like if it lives!"
" I bet your mom cries herself to sleep every night thinking, ' I should have got that abortion'"
"If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it."
Actually heard someone say this about an employer:
"He's a goddamn filthy bag-lapper and he can lap my bag. And if that ain't filthy enough for him, he can lap his own."
It takes a certain rural New England accent to carry that off.
Northern Vermont to be specific.
"So THAT'S what a prom-night dumpster baby looks like if it lives!"
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Do you have any more business cards -there's no toilet paper in here.
"Not even the Internet cares enough to discuss you."
Preceded by: "You're so useless that," or "You're so worthless that," or, well - Anything your imagination can conjure.
He's got his head so far up his ass he has to open his mouth to see where he's going.
Did your mother have any children that lived?
He's the kind of guy that makes you want to vote for retroactive abortion.
You're so unoriginal even your insults have AARP membership.
He's so ugly they have to photoshop his x-rays
DO you have to wipe before you type?
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!
"You should have been a blow job."
"The Biggest Loser" is suing you for breach of copyright and defamation of character.
You are so clueless that if you dressed in a clue skin, doused yourself in a clue musk, and did the clue dance in the middle of a field of horny clues at the height of clue mating season, you still would not have a clue.
You are so clueless that if you dressed in a clue skin, doused yourself in a clue musk, and did the clue dance in the middle of a field of horny clues at the height of clue mating season, you still would not have a clue.
:lol:
If I could remember all that, I'd steal it!
I wouldn't apophallate you with somebody else's mouth.
Is that like, 'I wouldn't piss down your throat if your heart was on fire?'
Her complexion was a chips n dip smorgasbord
I wouldn't fuck her with a borrowed dick.
Did your mother have any children that lived?
Reminded me of dozens from 'Full Metal Jacket'!
A couple leap to mind:
[Gunnery Sgt. Hartman] You're so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece. [/Gunnery Sgt. Hartman]
[Gunnery Sgt. Hartman] Your ass looks like a hundred and fifty pounds of chewed bubble gum. [/Gunnery Sgt. Hartman]
I wouldn't apophallate you with somebody else's mouth.
I had to look that up. Stop making me learn stuff.:meanface:
Shoulda a read the slug thread.
I don't care what your problem is, but I bet it's in DSM IV.
You don't BELONG in a Rolodex
.