Suicidal friend
How to save a friend you suspect might be
considering suicide.Any particular reason you're choosing to post this now, and anonymously?
For anyone who's feeling down, it's nice to remember that there's people who care. Lots of people have been down, this past winter. To better days!
Anon is correct, wolfey. The randomness of this thread might be questionable, but it may be helpful to some.
I suspect that wolf may know who posted it, and is concerned. Assuming it is a regular dwellar, and assuming that the typical 'friend' misdirection, concern would be a logical response.
that said...If anyone is contemplating suicide, i would like to recommend the alternative: Go Hobo.
Also, wolf is a mental health professional.
I suspect that wolf may know who posted it, and is concerned. Assuming it is a regular dwellar, and assuming that the typical 'friend' misdirection, concern would be a logical response.
On the other hand, it may be legit, and anonymous might be just be a clever username.
that said...If anyone is contemplating suicide, i would like to recommend the alternative: Go Hobo.
And my reccommendation: Just Don't. I like Ozzy's music too, but suicide is
never the solution.
Yes. There are people who care. Please, if you are feeling suicidal, reach out for help. From your friends, your family, a suicide helpline. Please.
@Datalyss: 'Anonymous' is a community use username. Any of us can log onto the anon account and post with it.
@Datalyss: 'Anonymous' is a community use username. Any of us can log onto the anon account and post with it.
That doesn't seem like a good idea to me.
We're grown ups here, we don't abuse such things.
Why not?
Any spammer could sign on as anonymous, and go wild.
Focus on the real issue, Datalyss. Start your on thread if you wat to discuss why certain things are done the way they are here.
It has been a terribly difficult year for me, thoughts come and go. Some good some bad. Personally I try to think outside myself and about what my loved ones would go through if I did something like that. I talk to them. I keep in touch. I realize how much I am wanted and needed. . . on I go. Sometimes for me sometimes for them. The pendulum swings.
Personally I try to think outside myself and about what my loved ones would go through if I did something like that..
That's what has kept me from 'doing things' (to myself or someone else), more than once.
[drift] If you love someone, tell them
everytime you (or they) go away for whatever reason. It might be the last time you ever see or speak to one another. The last words my grandmother and I spoke to each other were "I love you." It kept me from losing my mind when she died. [/drift]
Although I could, with very little work, figure out who is posting from the anonymous account, I don't.
I don't need to know.
What I would hope is that person understands that we will listen, and help where we can.
I second that Wolf.
Suicide's a funny business. I remember mum and her colleagues being really freaked out when a lad (a nurse I think) at the hospital killed himself. They were all so shocked because he was a really sunny and popular member of the team. Didn't seem depressed at all. Everything in his life appeared, to those looking in, to be going very well. I don't think they ever did figure out why.
When mum was training for Samaritans a couple of years ago, one of the things they told them was never to try and talk someone out of it. What they suggested instead was to ask the person what they expected to happen after they'd done it (or somethng along those lines). Get them to think past that moment and into what follows. For a lot of people, what they're actually wanting to do is press the stop button. It's less about dying and more about ending their present situation/emotional state. It can be a bit of a reality check to try and think past that point.
Focus on the real issue, Datalyss.
Hey, it was just a small observation. If UT doesn't mind having a security-unfriendly username on board, this his business.
Start your on thread if you wat to discuss why certain things are done the way they are here.
Why? It's not like we don't frequently go off topic around here.. Anywho, I'm done discusssing it.
I won't mention it again (in
this thread)...unless somebody else does.
Now, as for the real issue. Suicide. Here's
my bottom line on the subject. It's the ultimate cowardly act. Life kicking yer ass? Suck it up! Find a way to deal with it that doesn't involve killing yourself. Remember, suicide is an automatic ticket to hell (according to the bible), where things are said to be much worse.
I've never understood the idea of suicide being a 'cowardly' act. There've been times I've really wanted to, but I just couldn't quite bring myself to push the blade into my wrist, or step off a bridge. Fear of pain. Fear of changing my mind once beyond the point of no return. These things stopped me far more efficiently than thoughts of loved ones. Therefore in my case, cowardice was what stopped me from committing suicide.
Suicide can be the psychological equivalent of lying down in the snow because you're too exhausted to make the next step. That's not cowardice, that's defeat. Or it can be borne of the conviction that the very people who will be most hurt by your death would be better off without you. That's not cowardice, it's delusion. Or it is not even really about death at all, but an overwhelming desire to hit the stop button; when really all that's needed is a pause. Or they're caught in a moment and can't see a way through it. That's not cowardice, it's simple human frailty. Sometimes our minds take us to dark places. How we navigate through those places is affected by a whole host of factors, including basic brain chemistry.
Looks like the OP just found a good article they wanted to post. So: anonymous. Are you just being informative, or is there something you have on your mind?
Thinking about hurting my loved ones has only helped sometimes when I'm feeling really dark and down. Other times, my brain tells me that they'd be better off without me anyhow and that once they get over the initial pain, their lives will be improved. Of course, I know that's not true, when I'm feeling more rational.
I'll tell you what saved me. I figured that if I was going to do myself in anyway, I might as well take a chance and change something big in my life that I wouldn't ordinarily have the courage to change. What did I have to lose? That proactive feeling empowered me - if I felt trapped, it suddenly sprung open the door.
Proof, I suppose, that it's always darkest before the dawn. Metaphorically.
I've never understood the idea of suicide being a 'cowardly' act. There've been times I've really wanted to, but I just couldn't quite bring myself to push the blade into my wrist, or step off a bridge. Fear of pain. Fear of changing my mind once beyond the point of no return. These things stopped me far more efficiently than thoughts of loved ones. Therefore in my case, cowardice was what stopped me from committing suicide.
Call it want you want.
IMO, if you'd rather kill yourself than deal with your life, you might as well be remembered as a coward. Deciding
not to kill yourself, for whatever reason, is
not cowardice, it's bravery. It says that your brave enough to go on dealing with your life.
Looks like the OP just found a good article they wanted to post. So: anonymous. Are you just being informative, or is there something you have on your mind?
Yeah, anony, help us out here. Don't just post something without any explanation.
It's always darkest before the dawn.
So true.
Call it want you want. IMO, if you'd rather kill yourself than deal with your life, you might as well be remembered as a coward. Deciding not to kill yourself, for whatever reason, is not cowardice, it's bravery. It says that your brave enough to go on dealing with your life.
You obviously have never been suicidal and completely have no idea what it is like to be suicidal. First, for the most part, suicidal thoughts are completely irrational. And I don't mean that in condescending way since those thoughts are almost impossible to control. If you have ever had bad cases of anxiety you would know this.
Second, depression is, at least from my experience, the ultimate feeling of emptiness. And that emptiness is what leads people to suicide. You lose all your drive and motivation. When you have that feeling of emptiness, you feel there simply is no point in going on.
Neither of those have anything to do with not being able to "handle life". Expecting a truly depressed person to control those emotions can honestly be similar to expecting a diabetic to naturally balance their blood sugar levels. Much of it is purely physical.
Yeah, anony, help us out here. Don't just post something without any explanation.
anony?
wolfie?
When I'm depressed I think of all the people on this board I can fuck with, and that helps to brighten my outlook. :p:
you fucker.
I never feel suicidal. I rock. But apparently I attract suicidal people. Or maybe people meet me and instantly feel the need to kill themselves?
And here's my serious tip....
if approached by someone sharing their suicidal thoughts or who has swallowed pills but won't go to ER...... wash thier hair. scalp massage style. Lotsof foam, lots of homely aromas. Lots of touch. Then get them to the ER. The loving human touch and the feeling clean and cared for thing hasn't failed for me yet. I hope never to have to employ it again.....
You obviously have never been suicidal and completely have no idea what it is like to be suicidal.
Wrong!
Ya' know what, fergit this. If you wanna mislead yourself to think suicide is justified in certain situations, that's
your damn problem. As for me, even a stray suicidal thought here 'n' there can't make me take my own life. I can always bring myself out of it.
Don't bother replying. I'm done in this thread.
DING DING DING DING! there we go. OK, who got post #30 in the sweepstake?
I can always bring myself out of it.
That is why my statement still stands.
(My two cents, now that datalyss is hopefully gone!)
I'm one of those who think that suicide does have a place in the varieties of human life (since death is always a part of life). Specifically, in medically catastrophic situations.
I do not believe that someone in intolerable pain should be forced to remain that way with no hope of relief; that would be torture. Whether that pain must be physical or not is harder to say.
That's not suicide, that's self induce euthanasia.;)
Now, as for the real issue. Suicide. Here's my bottom line on the subject. It's the ultimate cowardly act. Life kicking yer ass? Suck it up! Find a way to deal with it that doesn't involve killing yourself. Remember, suicide is an automatic ticket to hell (according to the bible), where things are said to be much worse.
None of which are useful ways of bringing someone back from the edge.
Been there, done that.
Hey, if it works for you, I'm all for it, but it's not generally successful.
First, for the most part, suicidal thoughts are completely irrational.
Not to the person who is having them. From the individual's perspective they are making a reasoned, logical, and completely rational choice.
Not to the person who is having them. From the individual's perspective they are making a reasoned, logical, and completely rational choice.
Well of course. My point is that suicidal people are not in the same logical mindset that non-suicidal people are, which argues against Datalyss' argument that these people are weak minded or cowards. You don't fully realize how irrational your thoughts have been until you completely come out of the depression or other mental state.
First, for the most part, suicidal thoughts are completely irrational.
Not to the person who is having them. From the individual's perspective they are making a reasoned, logical, and completely rational choice.
Not always true. Even when a person knows suicide isn't the way to go, he/she simply doesn't want to be around anymore, doesn't want to feel the pain anymore.
When can we start the "I've been more suicidal than you have" competition?
It's OK, today is one of my Jewish days, no Hell for me.
When can we start the "I've been more suicidal than you have" competition?
It's OK, today is one of my Jewish days, no Hell for me.
funny monster!
Just my 2 cents but in a lot of ways, suicide keeps me alive. At least the idea of it. It lets me know that if things get really bad (and they frequently do) I CAN kill myself. Lord knows I tried it enough times when i was younger and came close once.
It's neither cowardly nor brave. It's just an option that is upto the individual to choose.
And I have issues with people who say you can't kill yourself because life is a "precious gift". A "gift" means it's yours to do with what you want. There are no riders on that deal.
I agree with every word you just said Sheldon. I've said before that the idea of suicide is actually quite a comforting one. Knowing there's an exit makes me less eager to leave :P
Just my 2 cents but in a lot of ways, suicide keeps me alive. At least the idea of it. It lets me know that if things get really bad (and they frequently do) I CAN kill myself. Lord knows I tried it enough times when i was younger and came close once.
It's neither cowardly nor brave. It's just an option that is upto the individual to choose.
And I have issues with people who say you can't kill yourself because life is a "precious gift". A "gift" means it's yours to do with what you want. There are no riders on that deal.
Shel, I admire your bravery in that statement.
I would add to the 'precious gift' that life is only a gift if you wanted it in the first place. Otherwise, it's merely a burden.
Not always true. Even when a person knows suicide isn't the way to go, he/she simply doesn't want to be around anymore, doesn't want to feel the pain anymore.
That is why I said "for the most part". Every suicidal person is suicidal for different reasons and I want to make the point to not to generalize all suicidal people in that manner you are speaking of.
Some people can snap out of depressions with a positive mindset. Some people's depression is a physical chemical imbalance that needs medicine to fix. It is not valid to generalize all depressed people in either category but it is more dangerous to generalize all depressed people in the first category.
The same concept applies to suicidal people. Some people are making a rational decision and some people aren't. It is not valid to generalize all suicidal people in either category but it is more dangerous to generalize all in the first.
These suicide notes were gathered at the coroners' offices by a suicidologist/psychiatrist who asked to be anonymous. He edited identifying details out of the compiled manuscript, and we changed the names. But the text of each letter plus the age and sex given are real. All these people did kill themselves. Were they ambivalent about it? About half the hundred or so letters we saw seemed to have some element of doubt.
The notes.Suicide is never the answer. I had a brother-in-law who committed suicide and it about destroyed my sister...and his best friend who found him.
He and my sister had been separated but hoped to eventually get back together. He had let a friend move in with him. This friend was cooking speed (meth, I guess) and my BIL let him because it helped him with his restless legs syndrome. Anyway, the DEA was onto the friend and busted them one day. After my BIL's parents bailed him out of jail, he went into his auto body shop on the property, clamped a shotgun in a vise, sat in front of it in his office chair and pulled the trigger using a string.
My BIL had called his best friend to come over. He put a note on the main door telling his friend not to come in...rather to call the police. Unfortunately, his friend used a different door and found him. Very messy from what I heard.
He had given into the threats of the people arresting him...tons of jail time and a million dollar fine, etc. He just couldn't stand the thought of it. For him, it seemed like the logical thing at the time, I suppose. To the rest of us, it was senseless and a waste.
I am of the opinion that there is always an alternate solution. But, I suppose it's different when you are the one it's happening to.
But, I suppose it's different when you are the one it's happening to.
This.