Ann Coulter rant

Undertoad • Oct 4, 2002 12:07 pm
I wrote this to send to Jesse Walker, whose writing I enjoy and who has asked whether Ann Coulter is truly attractive. This is my own personal attempt to answer that question. If you don't care for pornographic screeds, please don't read on.

--

I've been waiting for an opportunity to write this...

It's shallow to give Ms. Coulter a free pass due to her looks, but that's what we are as men. Most Coulter-critics would ask men to step back a bit, stop being transfixed by high cheekbones, and evaluate her based on her words.

Of course, if you do that, she falls apart rather quickly.

Instead let's remain shallow. She's good-looking, fine. How long would that last? Would you be able to have a drink with her? Would you go home with her? Would you be interested in bedding her? Let's say you find her alone at a trendy watering hole: how would it go?

During the first five minutes, you would stare at the pleasant smile and the high cheekbones and wonder at how some people are just put together nicely.

During the second five minutes, she boldly insults the waiter for getting her drink order slightly wrong. You take it as a sign of strength. The woman knows what she wants and relentlessly demands it. But when the waiter brings her corrected drink and she puts him through a second round, you're a little embarrassed for the guy. After all, he didn't make that drink.

You share a lot of beliefs, but at minute 12 you find a difference. She starts to bark at you with her most put-on man-voice, and you notice that she attacks you with the same vigor she did the waiter. Well that's OK; you're not expected to agree on everything, and you don't mind strong independent women.

After a while you notice that when she's drinking her drink, her throat visibly moves through her neck skin. Normally you'd not give it a second thought, but since she's been harsh on you, you fixate on it a little. It's comforting to think she has an oddity, a flaw.

A "Seinfeld" re-run comes on the bar television, and she announces her displeasure with the choice very loudly, so that not only you are clear about it, but all the surrounding patrons are clear as well. During her rant she questions the family history of anyone who enjoys the show. You make a mental note not to show her your TiVo To-Do list if you wind up together at your place. Her rant goes a little too long and you squirm uncomfortably in your seat as others look at you.

You're still interested in her, but as time goes by, now that throat starts looking less like a throat and more like an adam's apple. Just then she questions the manliness of your job, and some of her attractiveness starts to wear a little. You notice that her perma-smile has not altered one bit, even through her more bitter statements. But you're still attracted to her... kinda.

She asks whether you'd like to leave to go back to her place, and when you take a moment, she says "Or aren't you man enough?" And you realize that she isn't joking; she's honestly questioning your manhood. And while you have no concerns at all about your manhood, you wonder why she has to question it.

She leaves a tiny tip and grabs your arm. Out to the cab, where she is a little too irritated at the taxi driver's accent. At this point, in your mind, her throat/adam's apple has grown to the size of a real apple. You realize that the beauty of her face is a little less when it's a piercing, power-play stare. She asks if you know anyone powerful at treasury or the DER, and you sense that she's not about having fun with you but about playing you for networking purposes.

She takes a phone call in the cab and starts yelling at the phone. Her determined growl sounds a little too familiar and you recognize it as the same as your boss when he plays petty office politics. She brazenly insults her caller. Her throat is now like a cantaloupe to you, her high cheekbones are symbols of power rather than beauty. You start to protest that maybe you have an early morning meeting tomorrow. She grabs your crotch and says "You'll be staying," and you manage to turn off your upper brain.

You reach her place and she demands that you hold her purse and coat while she rummages for her keys. You get in and she immediately wants to go to business. She notes "This is what you're here for, right?" as if there was a contractual agreement from the first five minutes in the bar. She throws you down on the bed, carefully removes her skirt and pantyhose and folds them over a chair. She demands that you go down on her for fifteen minutes. She proclaims that every other male who has been here in the last three months has been a horrible disappointment.

You start the task. Immediately she starts giving orders about how you are to proceed. After about a minute of this, you lose any hard-on you might have managed. Her throat is like a watermelon. Her voice is utterly masculine. Her hands are huge and cold and you realize you don't really want them touching you. She finds you hesitating and asks whether you're really up to the job.

After fourteen minutes, she finds a groove and basically humps your tongue and gets off. In the process she has practically knocked out your front teeth with her pubic bone, but she's satisfied. After 20 seconds of recovery, she says "And I suppose you want something for that effort?" Finally, at last, some consideration for you. She whacks you off, mechanically and without any emotion or even interest. Halfway through it, she asks what's taking so long. Her man-hands how completely frighten you, especially for where they are. You put it all out of your mind and try to think of Christie Brinkley. Then you realize that it took nine years for Billy Joel to find Brinkley unattractive, while you have found the unattractive side of Coulter in a single night. But remembering Brinkley gives you a moment, and you orgasm. Coulter coldly avoids your jizz as if it were toxic, cleans up immediately, even getting out a mini-bottle of Febreeze to spray where you got some on her high thread count sheets.

Forget the niceties of a goodbye drink; she expects you to go now. Five minutes later you have been ushered out the door. She didn't ask for your phone number and she didn't expect you to ask for hers. She's pleasant enough at the door, but leaves you with a statement that could be taken as an insult. As you walk out you realize that it has been a most unsatisfying experience, for which an orgasm was more the conclusion of a bad deal as it was intimacy.

Well that's how I think it would go, anyway.
blowmeetheclown • Oct 4, 2002 1:23 pm
FUCKING HILARIOUS!
dave • Oct 4, 2002 1:35 pm
I'd fuck the shit out of her. No kidding. I'd assert my manliness, and she'd love it. I'd nail her from behind and on top, and when I was about to finish, I'd pull out, hop up on her chest, pin her arms down with my knees and spooge all over her face. Then I'd pull on my clothes, toss a $20 down on the bed and find my way out.
hermit22 • Oct 4, 2002 1:51 pm
Hah! That's great! There's a similar article here. I guess it's in a response to a piece she did in George magazine where she whined about not being able to find a date.
Xugumad • Oct 4, 2002 4:31 pm
Maybe the problem is that if a man behaved like Ann Coulter, he'd be considered a major assole. Not even Limbaugh went as far as Coulter did. Coulter appears humourless and paints herself and her intended audience as the victims of a national conspiracy, whilst outright <a href="http://www.sptimes.com/2002/08/26/news_pf/Floridian/Bestseller_trampled_u.shtml">lying and misquoting</a> her sources.

Since it's socially unacceptable in the US to attack a woman's personality and behaviour in the same way that one would attack a man, those unjustly attacked have been mostly unable to deal with her the way they dealt with Gingrich and Limbaugh.

The Bud-swilling, mullet-sporting, wifebeater-wearing, blue-collar working class (excuse the heavy stereotyping ;) ) who normally wouldn't have a problem making fun of any 'strong' woman (see also Clinton, H.) using whatever dirty joke is appropriate, find themselves vindicated in their belief that some high-falutin' Commie conspiracy is screwing with everything that's good about America. Besides, she's a fake blonde who wears short skirts and high heels. What else could you want?

It's tragically funny that the US has one of the most virulent crypto-fascists since McCarthy in the public spotlight, on the bestseller lists, generally accepted as a legitimate public voice, and all that's done about her is to finally attack her metaphorical manliness. But maybe that's just the first step.

X.

PS: Not that there's anything wrong with mullets, mind you.
hermit22 • Oct 4, 2002 4:34 pm
I don't think she's really accepted as a legitimate thinker, even by the mullet heads. I think most people see her as more entertaining than anything else.
Undertoad • Oct 4, 2002 5:10 pm
X man, where are you posting from again?
Xugumad • Oct 4, 2002 5:27 pm
Hey Tony,

regarding where I'm posting from: if you check your logs, you should be able to see that my location changed (continentally) sometime during the summer. I am considering adapting the spelling of certain descriptive terms to fit my surroundings, thus 'asshole' instead of 'arsehole'.

If you want to save yourself the work of digging through logs, feel free to message (or email) me and I'll tell you where I was and where I am now.

X.
Undertoad • Oct 4, 2002 5:38 pm
But some of that time in the US?
warch • Oct 4, 2002 5:46 pm
Seems to me that Ann Coulter is widely regarded as an asshole, that she has alluring blonde hair, well...eewww...whatever. Seems our hero, the driven male learns something at the end of his saga,er bad deal- at least till the next happy hour. ;)
Xugumad • Oct 4, 2002 5:58 pm
Undertoad
But some of that time in the US?

I generally don't discuss things I don't have at least some personal experience with.

I've always found it dubious to get engaged in debates relating to matters one has either never experienced personally, or hasn't been in direct contact with through related parties.

X.
dave • Oct 4, 2002 6:17 pm
Originally posted by hermit22
I don't think she's really accepted as a legitimate thinker, even by the mullet heads. I think most people see her as more entertaining than anything else.


You would be surprised.

I have heard people go on and on about how much sense she makes and how valid her points are. Then I say "yes, but she's a fucking NUTJOB."

"Well, I don't think you've really read what she's had to say."

"Sure I have. I especially liked the part about going into Afghanistan, killing their leaders and converting them to Christianity."

Then, a few days later, he comes back to me with "Well, Christianity is a much more benevolent religion than Islam... I've read, from former Muslims, that Islam teaches its followers to kill the infidels, blah blah blah."

I say "Yes, religion is definitely the solution to this problem. Er, or maybe it's WHAT STARTED THIS WHOLE FUCKING MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE! And I guess it's Good Christians&trade; that advocate the peaceful and benevolent solution of killing their leaders."

"Well, her book makes sense, that's all I'm saying."

Ja, and so does the Atkins diet... <b>IF YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD.</b>

Anyway, don't get me wrong... Ann Coulter is definitely pretty attractive, and she's been right at least a few times that I can remember... but I would not want to spend any significant amount of time around her for fear that I'd end up spending the rest of my life in prison, if you know what I'm sayin'.
Undertoad • Oct 4, 2002 6:31 pm
Just makin' sure.
Xugumad • Oct 4, 2002 7:53 pm
dave
Ja, and so does the Atkins diet... <b>IF YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD.</b>

Funnily enough, the 'Atkins diet' actually works on a large number of very overweight people. The way it works is by putting the body in a state of ketosis, which is essentially the body's way of saying 'oh crap there's trouble'. There are many potential problems with it, but if followed stringently, it can aid weightloss.

It's a fairly complex subject, really, that's why dieticians tend to disagree violently over its benefits. At the end of the day, all that matters is the amount of calories you take in vs. the amount of calories burned by your body. Anything else is just syntactical sugar, so to speak.

(Links to the potential problems of the Atkins diet can be found everywhere on the web, not least of all two fairly decent NYT articles.)

X.
Griff • Oct 4, 2002 7:55 pm
Great rant but who the hell is Ann Coulter?
Xugumad • Oct 4, 2002 8:40 pm
Ann Coulter is a thinly-disguised crypto-fascist, popular with the US far-right.

Here is a brief <a href="http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2001/0111.coulterwisdom.html">article</a> on her, replete with choice quotations. The <a href="http://www.sptimes.com/2002/08/26/news_pf/Floridian/Bestseller_trampled_u.shtml">link</a> I posted above outlines how her bestselling book is a collection of lies and willful misinterpretations.

Ann Coulter:

To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."---MSNBC

"I think [women] should be armed but should not [be allowed to] vote."---Politically Incorrect, 2/26/01

"The presumption of innocence only means you don't go right to jail."---Hannity & Colmes 8/24/01

"I think [Whitewater]'s going to prevent the First Lady from running for Senate."---Rivera Live 3/12/99

"My track record is pretty good on predictions."---Rivera Live 12/8/98

"My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."---MSNBC 2/8/97

Obviously, a lot of it is meant to incite strong reactions, yet it appears that she is taken seriously as a political commentator. CNN let her host Crossfire, and she is a regular on Fox News shows.

X.
Undertoad • Oct 4, 2002 8:49 pm
But many people seem to be unaware of her idiocy because to many people she's pretty. Part of my rant is to say that many pretty people start to look uglier and uglier once you get to know them. Christie Brinkley, it'd take 9 years. But Ann Coulter wears her hate on the outside; it would happen in the space of half a night.
elSicomoro • Oct 4, 2002 11:00 pm
Back in my summer days of being an MSNBC addict, her and Donahue scrapped one night...a few nights later, IIRC, she was on Hardball. Later that week, she was on Nachman. And it was the same shit over and over: Liberals are bad...liberals are liars.

Apparently, she was pretty pissed over her battle with Donahue. From what I remember of that show, he kept calling her on what she was saying, and then she'd whine about how he wasn't giving her a fair opportunity to speak.
Nic Name • Oct 4, 2002 11:07 pm
I'd like to see her on Dr. Phil.
hermit22 • Oct 7, 2002 4:12 am
I saw the Donahue one. It was actually really, really funny. Too bad it was only a segment and not the whole show.

(btw, here's a link to the transcript.)
vsp • Oct 7, 2002 9:46 am
The thing with Coulter is that she knows _exactly_ what she's doing -- being a Morton Downey Jr. with hooters for the new generation. A trained vaudeville artist, if you will. She knows her audience perfectly (closed-minded Christian conservatives), and feeds them exactly what they want to hear (liberals are evil cartoon characters responsible for everything that's wrong in the world, and fine upstanding Christian folk like us need to squash them like cockroaches). Bipartisanism and give-and-take and compromise may work for some politicians, but if you're trying to make a fast buck selling books and selling your image on TV, best to go the deliberately-outrageous route and pander -- she makes Limbaugh and Liddy seem subtle.

How much of her offerings she truly believes and how much is knowingly exaggerated to make a buck is open to debate. Like a poorly-motivated student writing an 11th-hour research paper, she throws in lots of footnotes to "prove" that her arguments are factual, forgetting (or ignoring) that footnoting only works when the QUOTED SOURCES are accurate and/or relevant to the text in which they're included. She preens on television and in interviews at every opportunity, knowing that it doesn't matter if what she says is ridiculous or easily refuted -- the fact that she said it in the first place will make her flock take it as gospel. What startles me is that many who should know better give her the slightest bit of credibility.

She's also a creature of a most peculiar species -- prominent, successful, enterprising women who go out and preach that a woman's place is exclusively in the home (supporting her Christian husband), and that any legislation protecting or reinforcing women's rights in any way should be overthrown. (See also: Phyllis Schlafly, Beverly LaHaye.) It's an entertaining contradiction. If the basic premise was accurate (that women are inherently inferior, and should just shut up and marry Christian men who'll do all the breadwinning, governing, policy-setting and fighting)... then why should anyone give a rat's ass what the "inferior" Coulter has to say? Why do Schlafly and LaHaye head multi-million-dollar organizations whose purpose is to convince America that women shouldn't aspire to be the heads of multi-million-dollar organizations? Shouldn't they be writing and ranting their way out of a job, so to speak?

Nah. They're trained monkeys for the Christian Right, paid well to stand there and convince the rest of their gender to Shut Up and Pray, Shut Up and Shop, Shut Up and Breed, Shut Up and Vote Republican, and not think too hard about the consequences of those actions. And whenever someone calls them on being fifth-columnists to their gender, so to speak, they perk up like the peasant from Holy Grail - "See? That's what I'm ON about!" (Then again, maybe not. The peasant from Holy Grail wanted to CHANGE and IMPROVE things.)
juju • Oct 7, 2002 12:15 pm
Originally posted by Xugumad
regarding where I'm posting from: if you check your logs, you should be able to see that my location changed (continentally) sometime during the summer. I am considering adapting the spelling of certain descriptive terms to fit my surroundings, thus 'asshole' instead of 'arsehole'.

What's the big secret?
jaguar • Oct 7, 2002 5:56 pm
Al Queda ;)
socrates • Oct 9, 2002 3:30 pm
Ann Coulter? Forgive my ignorance. Here in Ireland it seems we have not had the priveledge of this political pidgeon.

Having read the bulk of this thread though, I suspect she holds a minority view?

Caution my friends. As the Proclaimers beautifuly sang....

..What do you do when the rest cant see it's true...

socrates
socrates • Oct 9, 2002 3:44 pm
I'd fuck the shit out of her. No kidding. I'd assert my manliness, and she'd love it. I'd nail her from behind and on top, and when I was about to finish, I'd pull out, hop up on her chest, pin her arms down with my knees and spooge all over her face. Then I'd pull on my clothes, toss a $20 down on the bed and find my way out.

Steady on. There's children interested in politics to you know.
dave • Oct 9, 2002 3:54 pm
Originally posted by Undertoad
If you don't care for pornographic screeds, please don't read on.


As well as people who don't read, it seems. :)
perth • Oct 9, 2002 4:02 pm
all personal/political statements aside, dave, im shocked that you would pay even 20 bucks for that. :)

~james
vsp • Oct 9, 2002 4:26 pm
Originally posted by socrates
[B]Ann Coulter? Forgive my ignorance. Here in Ireland it seems we have not had the priveledge of this political pidgeon.

Having read the bulk of this thread though, I suspect she holds a minority view?


A minority, but an extremely loud, aggressive and self-righteous minority, and one with disproportionate representation in the Republican Party.

I hope the rest of the world is keeping in mind that a LOT of what's coming from our current leadership is a minority view, as well...
Undertoad • Oct 9, 2002 5:23 pm
Any children reading this thread are going to get an incredible education out of it, far worth the discovery of pornographic sexual practices... even if shocking to some.
socrates • Oct 10, 2002 5:53 am
If you don't care for pornographic screeds, please don't read on. As well as people who don't read, it seems.

Point taken. I just thought it was a bit too graphic that's all:o)

It may have something to do with being European. We are alot more sensitive you know:eek:
perth • Oct 10, 2002 9:27 am
It may have something to do with being European. We are alot more sensitive you know

i always sort of felt that europeans had a more relaxed attitude towards sex.

~james
Xugumad • Oct 10, 2002 10:30 am
socrates
It may have something to do with being European. We are alot more sensitive you know

Ahahaha. Not in regards to the display of sexuality in all its forms. (You could be referring to the tone Undertoad was using, of course, which was rather crass.) Being sensitive is one thing, being prudish is another. Feel free to debate exactly where the line between the two is drawn.

Even the archconservative European Catholic countries display sexuality (in the media and popular culture) with a much more guilt-free conscience than the US does. That includes Italy, for instance.

European network TV regularly shows full frontal nudity whenever it's deemed appropriate; censorship is only practiced on excessively violent movies etc., not sexually explicit scenes. Real-life depictions of violence are rarely censored since they are not deemed to be glorifying violence, whereas movie violence is considered to be doing just that.

The extent to which this is true varies from country to country, of course. Britain, for instance, has a 'watershed' time (either 10 or 11pm), after which all TV channels are free to show pretty much whatever they want to. I believe Channel4 actually showed Lars von Trier's "The Idiots" a couple of years ago, but cut a few seconds of full on-screen penetration. (which they then made available on their website for download). The display of homosexuality etc. is also much more relaxed in many European states. (since gay marriage is being widely accepted and implemented; also, homosexuality isn't considered a 'sin' in most EU countries, although the Catholics are predictably slow to catch on to this)

Strange, really, how being exposed to sexuality in a guilt-free context doesn't turn most people into raving sexual offenders, destroying all remnants of decency and morality. Let me re-read my Chick tracts.

X.

PS: Damn Europe, with their female heads of state, jewish prime ministers, lack of death penalty, mostly free health care for everybody, lower crime rates, lack of forced moral codes imposed on everybody, and pacifist attitudes! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!
socrates • Oct 10, 2002 10:43 am
i always sort of felt that europeans had a more relaxed attitude towards sex.

Well maybe it has something to do with living on a wee island on the periphery! Funny the Irish having embraced the Eurozone (and its subsidies) for the past thirty years is at the brink of saying no(referendum imminent on the ratification of the Nice Treaty) to its very expansion which helped it in the first place. My embarrasment is only eclipsed by the embarrassment of our closest neighbour, doing everything to suck up to the Bush administation.
juju • Oct 10, 2002 11:51 am
You should use the quote tags, so it doesn't look like you said something you didn't.
perth • Oct 10, 2002 11:58 am
Originally posted by socrates
[B]i always sort of felt that europeans had a more relaxed attitude towards sex.

Well maybe it has something to do with living on a wee island on the periphery! Funny the Irish having embraced the Eurozone (and its subsidies) for the past thirty years is at the brink of saying no(referendum imminent on the ratification of the Nice Treaty) to its very expansion which helped it in the first place. My embarrasment is only eclipsed by the embarrassment of our closest neighbour, doing everything to suck up to the Bush administation. [/B]

im not really 'down' with european politics, so im not quite sure what youre driving at. i guess i dont know what the nice treaty has to do with porn. :)

~james
socrates • Oct 10, 2002 11:58 am
juju

You should use the quote tags, so it doesn't look like you said something you didn't.


Like this?
Nic Name • Oct 10, 2002 12:15 pm
Exactly.

You can see how perth mistakenly misquotes you above, because you didn't format your previous post.
frankPOOR • Oct 28, 2002 11:50 pm
There's an episode of the TV show M*A*S*H where Hawkeye is pursuing a great looking nurse, but he's also busy doing a good deed for a GI and his Korean girlfriend (setting it up so they can get married). When he finally gets back to her she wants to know where he was (and why he wasn't with her). When he tells her what he was up to she let's her displeasure show visibly. After Hawkeye questions her further she refers to Koreans as "gooks". Hawkeye, a guy who was usually portrayed as having virtually no scruples with women whatsoever, walks out on her.

I was about 13 when I saw that TV show for the first time, but I know it had an impact on me. I may never have been as successful with women as Hawkeye Pierce was but I do have my standards. Ann Coulter is way below my standards. I don't even think she's attractive. Margaret Carlson (on The Capital Gang) is more my type.

And Undertoad...THIS WAS AS FUNNY AS ANYTHING I EVER SAW ON M*A*S*H (which I think was one of the funniest shows ever on TV btw). Laugh-out-loud funny (I did several times). Thanks for leading me out of LGF hell...this forum seems a lot more hospitable.

And no. I've never met Ted Rall. Who is he?
Undertoad • Oct 29, 2002 1:18 am
frank, thanks.

The difference between LGF and here is that the community here doesn't speak with one voice and isn't encouraged to. People are here for whatever personal reasons bring them here and keep them here. If they like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like. It's not because of any agenda the site has.

Ted Rall is a funny cartoonist who used to be a NYC taxi driver. He has branched out from cartooning into editorializing against US foreign policy.
Undertoad • Oct 23, 2003 5:05 pm
OK, who reposted this on Harmony Central? Any Cellarites responsible, or was it just a random browser?

That was fun - I'm reading threads on this musician website, an OT thread where people are talking about Coulter, when someone posts this long rant; and as I start reading it I realize I'd read it before...and then I realize I wrote it, over a year ago...

Last time I had that experience was decades ago, when I ran the radio station in college. One day I was walking down the street when this car is driving past me blasting some song at max voume, and the song ends and goes to a station ID that I had recorded. Suddenly it's my voice blasting out of this car. Whoa!

Fine ego moments.
perth • Oct 23, 2003 5:13 pm
Wasn't me, but I gotta tell ya. Every time I see her or hear her name mentioned, i think of your rant. And the thought of a handjob from her gives me the heebie-jeebies. You're sick. :)
breakingnews • Oct 23, 2003 5:27 pm
Yes indeed, fucking hilarious. :) I haven't read good non-published writing like that in quite a while. Kudos.
wolf • Oct 24, 2003 1:20 am
Order Now, before they sell out ...

(I'm waiting for the Rush Limbaugh with EIB Golden Microphone playset ...)
sesshin • Oct 24, 2003 2:32 am
Originally posted by Undertoad
OK, who reposted this on Harmony Central? Any Cellarites responsible, or was it just a random browser?


That was me. :D

I was oddly intrigued by the thought that a woman such as Ann Coulter, a prominent public figure, could have such a large, protruding Adam's apple and still quite a few men would find her attractive.

Out of curiosity I type "Ann Coulter adam's apple" into Google and your post was the 8th one from top.

Needless to say, I found it immensely funny, laughing out loud several times. I just had to repost it in HC because there are such heated discussions about Ann and her attractiveness over there. http://acapella.harmony-central.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=457984

Your story is frighteningly accurate. I'm hoping it's not based on real events. :(

Anyways, just registered, first post. Seems like a cool place. Cheers! :)
Undertoad • Oct 24, 2003 4:35 am
Google - is there nothing it can't do?

Well, welcome! - HC is a much bigger set of people than here, but we're cozy enough.
breakingnews • Oct 24, 2003 10:28 am
Originally posted by Undertoad
Google - is there nothing it can't do?

Well, welcome! - HC is a much bigger set of people than here, but we're cozy enough.

Have you ever tried googlism.com? EFFIN' FANTASTIC.

Let's do a quick Ann Coulter search:
ann coulter is great at it
ann coulter is the opie and anthony of punditry
ann coulter is not having a good day
ann coulter is not having
ann coulter is a moron
ann coulter is more attractive
ann coulter is crazy sexy cool
ann coulter is one
ann coulter is a whore
ann coulter is a
ann coulter is evil
ann coulter is the author of slander
ann coulter is so bitter about bill clinton
ann coulter is a leggy
ann coulter is a bitch"
ann coulter is the
ann coulter is no voice of reason
ann coulter is mad at me
ann coulter is an attorney and legal affairs correspondent
ann coulter is not having a good day post a comment name
ann coulter is a moron post a comment
ann coulter is an annoying conservative windbag who should really only be allowed on the fox news channel and even then
ann coulter is a feminist success story
ann coulter is queen
warch • Oct 24, 2003 5:06 pm
Her throat. If I see her, all I see is throat. Straining, bobbing, insisiting. Thanks T, and congrats you.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 24, 2003 6:48 pm
Originally posted by Nic Name
I'd like to see her on Dr. Phil.

She should be on Dr Phil so I don't have to see either one.:vomit:

UT, a fortune awaits you in romance novels.:thumb:
Oaktree67 • Jan 7, 2005 6:46 pm
Ann Coulter scares the living hell out of me.
Ditto Ted Rall.
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 8, 2005 1:18 am
Yes...be afraid..be very afraid. :worried:
dar512 • Jan 8, 2005 1:49 pm
Remarkable how many of these are applicable:


Googlism for: the cellar

the cellar is different and has different needs
the cellar is a real cellar
the cellar is located at the villa del sol
the cellar is part of the fun for diners
the cellar is done in a just a few seconds
the cellar is only a 70 seat venue so on the weekends all of our shows are two seating shows
the cellar is proud to announce that legendary tenor saxophonist benny golson will be appearing for two nights at the club
the cellar is getting serious in 2002 and will be publishing at least once/month
the cellar is the most sacred place in the house
the cellar is in colour
the cellar is that hidden room inside all of us where we keep hidden all those secrets that we never show or tell
the cellar is copyrighted 1997 by michael bitterman
the cellar is your simple straightforward rock n’ roll venue
the cellar is arranged like a library with it's own dewey decimal system
the cellar is located in the south of the netherlands

the cellar is a mix of ad hoc
the cellar is an ideal location for receptions and parties
the cellar is your standard monster
the cellar is engaged in developing multimedia instructional materials for
the cellar is a cocktail bar located in what used to be the wine cellars of the oxford union
the cellar is a virtual community that has existed since 1990
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the cellar is
the cellar is an ongoing process and mello expects it may take as long as five years before the walls are completely covered with logger memories
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the cellar is situated at the entrance of the historical town
the cellar is 40 years old
the cellar is now safely stored in a 300mhz dell with 128mbs of ram
the cellar is where the finished stories go
the cellar is dark and smoky with the sort of wonderfully sordid atmosphere of an underground tangiers hashish den
the cellar is currently about 9
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the cellar is set up
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the cellar is built by andonovi brothers in the year 1945
the cellar is currently paying rent in the sub that requires a minimum monthly payment of the greater of $1
the cellar is in the 8th house from the florian gate
the cellar is a series of pages dedicated to educating visitors about winemaking here at laetitia
the cellar is a place in which work
the cellar is playing host to a truly exciting night of music tomorrow
OnyxCougar • Jan 9, 2005 11:14 am
So I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.

http://users.wi.net/~johnh/01_ann_coulter.JPG

This?? This is the woman that men find "hot"?
Happy Monkey • Jan 9, 2005 11:50 am
Not I. Is that name on the bottom her birth name?
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 9, 2005 12:10 pm
OnyxCougar wrote:
So I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.

http://users.wi.net/~johnh/01_ann_coulter.JPG

This?? This is the woman that men find "hot"?

Compared to O'Reilly, Cavuto, Reynolds, Scarborough and the rest....sure.
I'll bring a bag and ballgag. :blush:
Undertoad • Jan 9, 2005 12:14 pm
That's an interesting photoshop... only slightly more subtle than the rant.
richlevy • Jan 9, 2005 12:17 pm
Well, to be fair, how about this (NSFW)..

Now either of these images could have been altered, so you have to decide which is closer to the truth.

If I had to, ahem, date a conservative psycho-babe, I'd rather it be Michelle Malkin . This is the woman Zell Miller wanted to fight a duel over.

BTW, to be clear, not all conservative women are crazy. Ms. Malkin wins by defending the internment of Japanese-American in WWII, something which the US has already aplogized for. Of course, being a Filipino-American, it wasn't her relatives who were involved and since Japan invaded the Phillipines in WWII and committed associated atrocities, I did not expect a sober assessment from someone who I believe relies more on opinion than fact. Still, as a non-white far right (hows that for a slogan) conservative, she is the darling of the new GOP.

Of course, like Bill O'Reilly, who had some amusing things to say to Ms. Coulter on her appearance, I'd share a falafel in the shower with either one of them. :p
richlevy • Jan 9, 2005 12:35 pm
wolf wrote:
Order Now, before they sell out ...

(I'm waiting for the Rush Limbaugh with EIB Golden Microphone playset ...)

Of course the real geeks among us could reprogram the speech chip to say all sorts of wonderful things. ;)
Oaktree67 • Jan 9, 2005 2:20 pm
xoxoxoBruce wrote:
Yes...be afraid..be very afraid. :worried:


And never get within five hundred yards of either of them without a hazmat suit.
SteveDallas • Jan 9, 2005 6:48 pm
richlevy wrote:
I'd share a falafel in the shower with either one of them. :p

Wouldn't the falafel get kind of mushy? :confused:

And why "either"? As long as you're fantasizing there's no need to send one of them home . . .
richlevy • Jan 9, 2005 7:52 pm
SteveDallas wrote:
Wouldn't the falafel get kind of mushy? :confused:

And why "either"? As long as you're fantasizing there's no need to send one of them home . . .

Not if they're the really crunchy kind.

Did you hear the interview O'Reilly did with Ann Coulter after her book came out? The bookcover was slightly suggestive, so O'Reilly said some things that no liberal commentator could possibly have gotten away with. Ann, being a good soldier, looked incredibly embarrassed but sat there and didn't complain.
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 9, 2005 9:20 pm
She wouldn't let principles get in the way of profits. :haha:
Oaktree67 • Jan 23, 2005 9:54 am
Funny, I would have expected Coulter to bite O'Reilly's head off;she doesn't strike me as the type who would put up with mashers,even if they might share her ideology.
richlevy • Jan 23, 2005 12:26 pm
Oaktree67 wrote:
Funny, I would have expected Coulter to bite O'Reilly's head off;she doesn't strike me as the type who would put up with mashers,even if they might share her ideology.

I wish you could have seen it. She had that Dan Quayle 'deer in headlights' look. She was stunned and probably offended, but she doesn't have her own show and O'Reilly is part of her bread and butter.

O'Reilly was right about one thing. In my opinion, she does look like some sort of neo-conservative dominatrix ("say free markets, you liberal worm!" WHACK! :scream: ) on the cover of her book. :D
Troubleshooter • Jan 23, 2005 2:33 pm
I'd still do her though, adam's apple, man hands and all.

Someone has to stand up to the challenge.
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 23, 2005 8:04 pm
Pooh, you just want the braggin' rights. :king:
Troubleshooter • Jan 23, 2005 10:44 pm
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
SteveDallas • Jan 24, 2005 12:15 am
Yeah, but no man has to do THAT.
Oaktree67 • Jan 28, 2005 11:10 am
richlevy wrote:
I wish you could have seen it. She had that Dan Quayle 'deer in headlights' look. She was stunned and probably offended, but she doesn't have her own show and O'Reilly is part of her bread and butter.

O'Reilly was right about one thing. In my opinion, she does look like some sort of neo-conservative dominatrix ("say free markets, you liberal worm!" WHACK! :scream: ) on the cover of her book. :D


Funny,she looks more to me like the third-place finisher in a Trish Status look-alike contest.
SteveDallas • Apr 20, 2005 2:58 pm
Was just wondering if you liked the latest shot of Ann on the cover of Time?
vsp • Apr 20, 2005 3:14 pm
You can dress up a pig...
Troubleshooter • Apr 20, 2005 5:39 pm
Dude, I'm sorry, she's hot. That dressed for summer one is especially nice.
Undertoad • Apr 20, 2005 5:58 pm
Hot, but hurts America.
lookout123 • Apr 20, 2005 6:27 pm
Dude, I'm sorry, she's hot.


are we talking about the same anne coulter? after reading this thread i've looked at several different photos trying to pick up the "hot" vibe... it's not happening. she just looks like an average chick (which is fine) but when you combine that with her psychotic bitch personality - game off.

michelle malkin is is pretty fine though.
Happy Monkey • Apr 20, 2005 6:29 pm
Some people go for the "crazy eyes" look.
lookout123 • Apr 20, 2005 6:31 pm
in college i dated for short period of time a beautiful girl with the "crazy eyes". only to find out they were amirror to a crazy soul. i still miss that girl but she was absolutely effing nuts.
Happy Monkey • Apr 20, 2005 6:36 pm
Luckily for them, most people who think Colter's hot won't ever have to personally deal with her crazy soul. But seeing her on the news is close...:worried:
russotto • Apr 21, 2005 4:47 pm
[PEDANTIC]If her eyes were a mirror to a crazy soul, the crazy soul was yours. More likely you meant they were a WINDOW to one. [/PEDANTIC]
lookout123 • Apr 21, 2005 7:05 pm
yes. thank you for pointing out my errors. of course, i was crazy for ever dating her in the first place, so i guess it does work both ways.
jaguar • Apr 21, 2005 7:25 pm
as they say, you can't fuck a crazy girl sane.
More's the pity.
lookout123 • Apr 21, 2005 10:40 pm
i was just trying to prove them wrong. have i mentioned i still miss her? only sometimes though.
jaguar • Apr 21, 2005 10:48 pm
I'm sure you had fun trying.
wolf • Apr 22, 2005 3:10 am
I think she and I could be best girlfriends. We could hang out and have slumber parties and do each other's hair and talk about boys and go down to the dump to shoot rats.
Catwoman • Apr 22, 2005 10:09 am
I'd never heard of Ann Coulter before this site. Wonder why she gets everyone's backs up so much. I mean, yes, she seems incredibly annoying and wrong but why does that matter? Anyway, you can fuck a crazy girl sane. I am always more rational and receptive after a good rogering.
Clodfobble • Apr 22, 2005 10:33 am
I think it has to do with appearances. It's the same reason Clarence Thomas (a conservative black judge on the Supreme Court) used to get people way more riled up than other conservatives with comparable views. He's black, so people who disagreed with him saw his conservativism as not just wrong, but as a slap in the face, an affront to their stereotypes.

Same with Ann Coulter: usually women in politics aren't hot, both because they tend to be older and because I think politics wears people down. The fact that this rhetoric is coming from someone they find attractive (personally, I don't see it, I think she's creepy-looking) is gut-wrenching, and they feel betrayed by her beauty--so they end up hating her much more than they would if she looked like Phyllis Schlafly.
Catwoman • Apr 22, 2005 10:47 am
Mmm good point. I think men get a little confused by attractiveness - all they see to start with is that she's female, not fat and not bald. This means they would like to have sex with her. She is considered especially attractive if she wears few clothes and agrees to doctored poses for magazines. Doesn't really matter whether she actually is good looking, the fantasy remains.
Happy Monkey • Apr 22, 2005 11:06 am
Catwoman wrote:
I'd never heard of Ann Coulter before this site. Wonder why she gets everyone's backs up so much. I mean, yes, she seems incredibly annoying and wrong but why does that matter?
It wouldn't if she weren't a regular guest on Fox News, and covered as if her views were reasonable. In a country where people still think Hussein was involved in 9-11, and are now starting to think he may have been involved with the Oklahoma City bombing, we don't need more crazy people to be legitimized on the "news".
Happy Monkey • Apr 22, 2005 11:15 am
Here's a (perhaps a bit biased ;) ) site with a few things she's said that for some reason haven't caused her to be dropped from Fox.
xoxoxoBruce • Apr 26, 2005 1:59 pm
What makes you think a site named AntiCoulter.com would be biased? :lol2:
SteveDallas • Apr 26, 2005 2:07 pm
xoxoxoBruce wrote:
What makes you think a site named AntiCoulter.com would be biased? :lol2:

Perhaps it's an expression of affection from a niece or nephew.
jaguar • Apr 28, 2005 7:46 am
looks like UT wasn't the only one
wolf • Apr 28, 2005 12:22 pm
I don't think that author meant it as a compliment.
Happy Monkey • Apr 28, 2005 12:30 pm
UT's wasn't the most complimentary thing I've read either...
xoxoxoBruce • Apr 30, 2005 11:47 pm
No, but much classier and more humorous. ;)
Be Less Bored • May 13, 2005 8:08 am
Undertoad wrote:
evaluate her based on her words.

Of course, if you do that, she falls apart rather quickly.


oh does she? Where? :mg:
rkzenrage • Jun 7, 2006 3:40 pm
Anne Coulter's Latest Publicity Stunt

When their husbands were killed on 9/11, four New Jersey widows tried to find out why - and now no-holds-barred conservative pundit Ann Coulter is mercilessly denouncing them as "witches."

"I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much," Coulter writes in her new book.

Her brutal words were challenged yesterday on national television by "Today" host Matt Lauer - and she was slammed by the widows she derided as self-absorbed, limelight-seeking "harpies."

"I'd like her to meet my daughter and tell her how anyone could enjoy their father's death," said Kristen Breitweiser, one of four widows known as the "Jersey Girls."

"She sounds like a very disturbed, unraveled person," added Breitweiser.

In "Godless: The Church of Liberalism," the uncompromisingly right-wing Coulter writes the Jersey Girls have no right to criticize President Bush or any of the failures that led to the terror attacks.

"These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis," Coulter writes.

"And by the way, how do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they'd better hurry up and appear in Playboy. . .

"These self-obsessed women seemed genuinely unaware that 9/11 was an attack on our nation and acted as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them."

Breitweiser, Lorie Van Auken, Mindy Kleinberg and Patty Casazza bonded after their husbands died on 9/11, leaving them with seven children and a desire for answers.

They pushed to create the 9/11 commission, which put out a scathing report criticizing the Clinton and Bush administrations for not taking the terrorist threat more seriously - and found New York's emergency response system wasn't prepared for a serious attack.

"Our ports have not been secured. Our borders have not been secured. We still haven't caught [Osama] Bin Laden," Van Auken said yesterday. "She's not even talking about what we were talking about. She's just attacking."

The Jersey Girls - or, as Coulter calls them, "the Witches of East Brunswick" - have been criticized before, but never like this. Van Auken told the Daily News she was stunned by the vitriol.

"Having my husband burn alive in a building brought me no joy," she said. "Watching it unfold on national TV and .seeing it repeated endlessly was beyond what I could describe. Telling my children they would never see their father again was not fun. And we had no plans to divorce."

When Lauer grilled Coulter about the book, she yelled at him so harshly that gasps echoed through Rockefeller Center - and then she made a wisecrack about CBS-bound former host Katie Couric.

"If you lose a husband, you no longer have the right to have a political point of view?" Lauer asked.

As the exchange grew tense, Coulter said, "Look, you're getting testy with me."

She later added: "Hey, where's Katie? Did she leave or something?"

Last night, Coulter didn't back down from bashing the 9/11 widows. "These women got paid. They ought to take their money and shut up about it," Coulter said on MSNBC's "The Situation with Tucker Carlson."

Coulter made headlines in the past when she called for blowing up The New York Times Building, advocated forcing Muslims to become Christians and wrote an entire book that said every American liberal is guilty of treason.

Her controversial writings have made her a best-selling .author and syndicated columnist and put her on the cover of Time magazine. She's made big bucks in the process, buying a $1.5 million condo on the upper East Side.

Politicians of both parties denounced Coulter's comments.

"It's totally inhumane to be saying things like this about people who went through such agony," said Rep. Pete King (R-L.I.).

"It seems that she's just full of anger and hate," said Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-Manhattan), who held a news conference yesterday with relatives of 9/11 victims on the country's failure to improve security.

"Like an insecure child, it's always been clear that Ann Coulter is prepared to do anything to get attention," added Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-Brooklyn, Queens). "This is a new low."
rkzenrage • Jun 7, 2006 3:45 pm
From another site.

If you're not irritated enough yet, check out this sexy interview.

http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?id=15363

I like how the interviewer makes no attempt whatsoever at objectivity and basically asks Coulter questions like, "Do you ever find it difficult to be the most brilliant woman in all of existence?"
glatt • Jun 7, 2006 3:53 pm
Any publicity is good publicity.
rkzenrage • Jun 7, 2006 4:11 pm
Do you remember who said that?
I don't agree. She is nuts and I thinks she hates herself and humanity.
I hope she finds empathy and happiness, I really do.
glatt • Jun 7, 2006 4:22 pm
rkzenrage wrote:
Do you remember who said that?


No, I really don't. But what I'm saying is that she pobably believes the saying. And up to a point, the saying is valid. It's hard to know where that point is for some people. I think she has crossed it here, but who's to say the Freepers agree with me? They are her audience.
rkzenrage • Jun 7, 2006 4:35 pm
Pretty sure it was James Brown about the time he was in some trouble... in context it was him making the best of the situation.
I don't agree, coming from someone who used to be in that business... you have to decide at some point to be an artist or celebrity. I guess if you only wish to be the latter it may hold some truth.
In her case, do you want to be a pundit/talking head or celebrity?
What little credibility she once had is on fire.
rkzenrage • Jun 7, 2006 5:20 pm
http://youtube.com/watch?v=1YyjrhvmDM8&search=Coulter

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nF0pGowq5HM&search=Coulter

http://youtube.com/watch?v=b4f61KVKUKM&search=Coulter

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mD2P3Fk0O3M&search=Coulter
richlevy • Jun 7, 2006 8:44 pm
Actually, what I would like to do is this.

Invite Ann Coulter and Fred Phelps to do an interview.
Wait until both of them are in the Green Room.
Lock the door and walk away.
dar512 • Jun 8, 2006 11:00 am
In a news article this morning, Hillary Clinton called Coulter's remarks concerning these women "vicious". I have to agree - which, as far as I know, is a first.

It bothers me that anyone could make the kind of vicious and mean-spirited attacks that Coulter has made. But even more, I fear that there are many folks out there nodding their heads in agreement.
Flint • Jun 8, 2006 11:41 am
dar512 wrote:
But even more, I fear that there are many folks out there nodding their heads in agreement.


Didn't you hear? If you're not with them, you're against them.
xoxoxoBruce • Jun 10, 2006 1:29 am
dar512 wrote:
In a news article this morning, Hillary Clinton called Coulter's remarks concerning these women "vicious". I have to agree - which, as far as I know, is a first.

It bothers me that anyone could make the kind of vicious and mean-spirited attacks that Coulter has made. But even more, I fear that there are many folks out there nodding their heads in agreement.
Coulter is a cunt, no ifs ands or buts.

The people nodding in agreement might have a reason.

9-11, Mr A and Mr B head out to work in NYC.

Mr A gets to the WTC but doesn't make it home.
Mr B doesn't make it home either because he was run over by a bus.

Mrs A gets a million or two bucks and the sympathy of the world.
Mrs B get an insurance settlement that will pay off the car but not the mortgage, credit cards, orthodontist or kids tuition.

Mrs A keeps appearing on TV.
Mrs B & kids have now moved in with family and working at the Quicky Mart on the overnight shift.

Maybe Mrs B is nodding. Ya think? :2cents:
richlevy • Jun 10, 2006 11:44 am
And Ann, knowing which way the wind blows, has been reminding everyone of her Christian values.

I think the woman should join the Westboro Baptist Church. She seems to have the kind of Christian values that Rev. Phelps is looking for.

There are a lot of people who have taken control of their lives after misfortune and spoken up about issues. Christopher Reeve, Dana Reeve, Alexandra Scott. Maybe Miss Coulter just thinks that they're 'whiney'.

Normally, I don't wish misfortune on anyone. However, it would be interesting to see how Miss Coulter would handle the situation that the 9/11 widows or any of these three people went through.

God, however, has his own plan and I somehow have the impression that Miss Coulter will become a dried up old conservative in a wool suit smelling like lavender and running something like the Eagle Forum or the Family Research Council.
Happy Monkey • Jun 10, 2006 12:43 pm
richlevy wrote:
Normally, I don't wish misfortune on anyone. However, it would be interesting to see how Miss Coulter would handle the situation that the 9/11 widows or any of these three people went through.
Misfortune? According to her, it would be the time of her life!
skysidhe • Jun 10, 2006 1:33 pm
Catwoman wrote:
I'd never heard of Ann Coulter before this site. Wonder why she gets everyone's backs up so much. I mean, yes, she seems incredibly annoying and wrong but why does that matter? Anyway, you can fuck a crazy girl sane. I am always more rational and receptive after a good rogering.




Catwoman wrote:

Anyway, you can fuck a crazy girl sane. I am always more rational and receptive after a good rogering.



Ann? Ann envy? Are you transferring or .....who is that masked woman?
dar512 • Jun 19, 2006 10:41 am
xoxoxoBruce wrote:
Mrs A keeps appearing on TV.
Mrs B & kids have now moved in with family and working at the Quicky Mart on the overnight shift.

Maybe Mrs B is nodding. Ya think? :2cents:

I see the irony, Bruce. But I don't blame Mrs. A for it. Blame our sick society that makes a carnival out of other people's trauma.
KinkyVixen • Jun 19, 2006 12:25 pm
richlevy wrote:
And Ann, knowing which way the wind blows, has been reminding everyone of her Christian values.

I think the woman should join the Westboro Baptist Church. She seems to have the kind of Christian values that Rev. Phelps is looking for.

There are a lot of people who have taken control of their lives after misfortune and spoken up about issues. Christopher Reeve, Dana Reeve, Alexandra Scott. Maybe Miss Coulter just thinks that they're 'whiney'.

Normally, I don't wish misfortune on anyone. However, it would be interesting to see how Miss Coulter would handle the situation that the 9/11 widows or any of these three people went through.

God, however, has his own plan and I somehow have the impression that Miss Coulter will become a dried up old conservative in a wool suit smelling like lavender and running something like the Eagle Forum or the Family Research Council.



She's the type that gives us (Christians) all a bad name. She shouldn't be spewing out her nonsense babble for fame and then using Christianity as a rhyme for her reason. I'm pretty sure the bible says it is not our job to judge other people. Ann Coulter is annoying, and she loves the attention. The thing is...we keep giving it to her. If everyone ignored her she wouldn't have an auidence that would get her on the best-sellers list.
rkzenrage • Jun 28, 2006 11:42 pm
You really think that she would not find another way to get attention?
richlevy • Jun 28, 2006 11:56 pm
rkzenrage wrote:
You really think that she would not find another way to get attention?
Yes but by doing something more socially positive than what she is doing now, for example doing a donkey show on the Capitol steps.
rkzenrage • Jun 29, 2006 1:50 am
Gonna' have nightmares now... mad at you.
glatt • Apr 5, 2017 2:21 pm
Jimmie Walker and Ann Coulter?

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