Deer are douchebag assholes

squirell nutkin • Jan 7, 2010 1:23 pm
They are big, fucking, useless, don't taste especially good, and they are vandals who fucked up my car last night.

They suck.
Nirvana • Jan 7, 2010 1:25 pm
:eek: Damn SN that really sucks! Glad you are alright.

Guess that will be the last time you call me a whore in a Cellar thread. ;) JK!
squirell nutkin • Jan 7, 2010 1:32 pm
So you got the check? Great! when can you start?
:p :D
Nirvana • Jan 7, 2010 1:35 pm
How do you think I paid the deer? :eyebrow:
Undertoad • Jan 7, 2010 2:13 pm
Owls are assholes
jinx • Jan 7, 2010 2:25 pm
Ah, young grasshopper, deer walk in the shadows like ninja warrior. You must search deep within yourself or they become pavement pelt.
Radar • Jan 7, 2010 3:45 pm
What are you talking about. Deer taste great! I love venison sautéed in a little olive oil with garlic and shallots. Great stuff.
Cloud • Jan 7, 2010 3:52 pm
I'm sure they think the same of the large metal creatures and softer two legs driving them.
squirell nutkin • Jan 7, 2010 4:05 pm
Radar;624755 wrote:
What are you talking about. Deer taste great! I love venison sautéed in a little olive oil with garlic and shallots. Great stuff.


Help yourself:
Lat. 43° 5'5.41"N
Long. 73°20'32.02"W
squirell nutkin • Jan 7, 2010 4:07 pm
jinx;624728 wrote:
Ah, young grasshopper, deer walk in the shadows like ninja warrior. You must search deep within yourself or they become pavement pelt.


Maybe some deer, this one RAN in the headlights like a knucklehead.
squirell nutkin • Jan 7, 2010 4:08 pm
Undertoad;624725 wrote:
Owls are assholes

Oh yeah, you can bet they're on report!
SamIam • Jan 7, 2010 4:16 pm
Deer are suicidal. They should all be on prozac. Where I live there are 80 billion deer. Where I lived before that there are 80 gazillion. People were scared to go on the highway after 3:00pm. A popular pass time was listening in to the police radio to see who had gotten whacked now. I kid you not, there were containers on every corner where people could throw their deer skins.

Deer like to wait around blind corners, then hop out at the last second. I think its part of a plot to get rid of humans. Radar should come out here and stuff himself on venison. Give me elk any day. :headshake
busterb • Jan 7, 2010 6:16 pm
I almost got a doe, when returning from store, here in town.
Asshats charged me $4.20 for maters I didn't buy.
That was reason for trip. Refund. Food Giant sucks.
Elspode • Jan 7, 2010 6:28 pm
Last Spring, a friend of mine was driving home from Pagan camp, when he hit a flying deer. It seems a car going the other way hit it as it leaped and deflected it into his Geo Metro. Fucked it right up, it did.
Shawnee123 • Jan 7, 2010 6:33 pm
One time, at Pagan camp...

Oh deer, I am sorry. ;)
jinx • Jan 7, 2010 6:50 pm
Ihit a deflected deer once. Didn't hurt the jeep.
Jim has hit a few. Isn't PA the deer death capital of the world?
Clodfobble • Jan 7, 2010 7:09 pm
"And I love deer!!"

[youtube]lp7qRJcZ484[/youtube]
jujuwwhite • Jan 7, 2010 8:49 pm
What I don't understand is why the 'suicide bombers' in the world don't just send in a deer! They are much more suicidal creatures than us humans!!

*yes, i am aware of the poor grammar LOL*
fargon • Jan 7, 2010 8:54 pm
I wanna see the rest of the story.
squirell nutkin • Jan 7, 2010 9:07 pm
jujuwwhite;624832 wrote:
What I don't understand is why the 'suicide bombers' in the world don't just send in a deer! They are much more suicidal creatures than us humans!!

*yes, i am aware of the poor grammar LOL*


We are disappointment in you're grammar, Juju.:(
jujuwwhite • Jan 7, 2010 9:23 pm
squirell nutkin;624847 wrote:
We are disappointment in you're grammar, Juju.:(


Sorrie!! :p
TheMercenary • Jan 7, 2010 11:16 pm
squirell nutkin;624709 wrote:
They are big, fucking, useless, don't taste especially good, and they are vandals who fucked up my car last night.

They suck.
They taste great, just not so great after being hit by a car or truck. Then they taste like crap. Or so I have heard, I have never tried road kill.
spudcon • Jan 8, 2010 12:16 am
Elspode;624797 wrote:
Last Spring, a friend of mine was driving home from Pagan camp, when he hit a flying deer. It seems a car going the other way hit it as it leaped and deflected it into his Geo Metro. Fucked it right up, it did.

Geo Metro? Hitting a chipmunk would wreck one of those.
Clodfobble • Jan 8, 2010 12:18 am
fargon wrote:
I wanna see the rest of the story.


You mean the video clip? It's a movie called "The Straight Story," directed by David Lynch. Decent movie, though too many long sweeping silent shots for my tastes.
Cicero • Jan 8, 2010 12:01 pm
You guys should quit injuring, maiming, and killing deers with your asshole cars....;)

How many pounds of uneaten deer meat do you have in your fridge again? :) How long has it been there?
SamIam • Jan 8, 2010 2:06 pm
In Colorado its illegal to take your road kill home. The carcass either goes to orphans or the state pen. Just one more reason to stay out of trouble. ;)
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 9, 2010 4:40 am
Do you have to report it, Sam?
SamIam • Jan 9, 2010 8:44 am
In theory, it should be reported. But if there's no one around...:noevil:

I have hit deer twice. The first time my car was totaled, so I had to wait around for the men in blue and make an accident report. The second time there wasn't a soul on the road within 20 miles. The deer collision made my car do a complete 360, but no major damage and I was off to home with my petal on the metal.
morethanpretty • Jan 9, 2010 9:09 am
Clod, that clip was hilarious, the part with the woman. The part where the old man is traveling to see his stroke-victim brother for weeks, not no so funny...
squirell nutkin • Jan 9, 2010 10:35 am
I've eaten plenty of deer, prepared by all manner of chefs, and I have come to the conclusion that if it were any good there'd be feedlots stretching across Iowa filled with deer waiting to be slaughtered.

Or, they'd have been hunted to extinction a century ago.
Clodfobble • Jan 9, 2010 10:43 am
morethanpretty wrote:
Clod, that clip was hilarious, the part with the woman. The part where the old man is traveling to see his stroke-victim brother for weeks, not no so funny...


Yeah, that's like the one funny part. It's not a comedy, for sure.
Griff • Jan 9, 2010 1:03 pm
squirell nutkin;625200 wrote:
I've eaten plenty of deer, prepared by all manner of chefs, and I have come to the conclusion that if it were any good there'd be feedlots stretching across Iowa filled with deer waiting to be slaughtered.

Or, they'd have been hunted to extinction a century ago.


Venison has to be aged properly and almost never is. I haven't hunted in a long time but I had an awesome deer about the second to last time because it was dangerously warm while it aged. I kept it cool with water but I guess the USDA wouldn't have approved.
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 10, 2010 2:13 am
squirell nutkin;625200 wrote:
I've eaten plenty of deer, prepared by all manner of chefs, and I have come to the conclusion that if it were any good there'd be feedlots stretching across Iowa filled with deer waiting to be slaughtered.

Or, they'd have been hunted to extinction a century ago.
Lancaster County, PA... corn fed and tasty, even marbled in some cases. The rest of the state, not so much.
Urbane Guerrilla • Jan 10, 2010 10:50 pm
Feed the deer, tuppence a bag, and whattaya get? Fat deer!
squirell nutkin • Jan 10, 2010 11:50 pm
yeah, the coffee rubbed Kobe deer of Lancaster County...
Gravdigr • Jan 11, 2010 6:44 am
squirell nutkin;625200 wrote:
I've eaten plenty of deer, prepared by all manner of chefs, and I have come to the conclusion that if it were any good there'd be feedlots stretching across Iowa filled with deer waiting to be slaughtered.

Or, they'd have been hunted to extinction a century ago.


They very nearly were. There are many, many times more deer today than there were a century ago. (BTW, the reason you don't see deer in huge feedlots like cattle is because they're 'cute'.)

xoxoxoBruce;625364 wrote:
Lancaster County, PA... corn fed and tasty, even marbled in some cases. The rest of the state, not so much.


I've never seen 'marbled' venison (even from "farm-raised" deer). I think deer do not make 'fat' like beef. It's called tallow (like they make candles from, sorta) and makes ANY venison taste like absolute shit. Even the tiniest bit will make a good-sized steak taste off. Venison cooked w/tallow still on the cut of meat has turned off more people from venison than anything else. (That, and over-cooking.):)
glatt • Jan 11, 2010 11:48 am
When my wife and I visited New Zealand a little over a decade ago, the sheep fields stretched as far as the eye could see, but every once in awhile, you would come across a field with a really tall fence and a herd of deer grazing. You could buy venison there in the stores, and it was on the menu in many restaurants.
SamIam • Jan 11, 2010 12:19 pm
I like elk much better than venison. They have a big old elk farm about 18 miles from where I live. Tourists are always stopping to take pictures of them and causing near accidents. You can buy all varieties of elk at the farm store. You can also get elk burgers in some restaurants around here and elk jerky is everywhere. :elkgrin:
Qice • Jan 11, 2010 12:56 pm
I second SamIam - Elk is much better than venison - buffalo and squirrel are better too!
squirell nutkin • Jan 11, 2010 1:09 pm
Qice;625651 wrote:
I second SamIam - Elk is much better than venison - buffalo and squirrel are better too!

Watch it...

:boxers:
Qice • Jan 11, 2010 2:47 pm
Sorry SN~:o
Gravdigr • Jan 12, 2010 9:16 am
Elk be mighty tasty.:yum:
SamIam • Jan 12, 2010 10:47 am
I don't like squirrel - to eat that is.
TheMercenary • Jan 12, 2010 10:51 am
Caribou is very good. Venison is good too. I would love to try elk. One that I shot myself.
Shawnee123 • Jan 12, 2010 10:52 am
No no no merc, don't shoot yourself. We like you anyway!
TheMercenary • Jan 12, 2010 10:59 am
You just want me to go hunting with Cheney.
Shawnee123 • Jan 12, 2010 11:04 am
No I don't. You and I may not get along, but I like you WAY better than I like Cheney. :)

I'm just sarcastic joker today, sorry you're bearing the brunt. I'll shut up now. ;)
Pie • Jan 12, 2010 11:25 am
Merc may be on the opposite end of the political spectrum from me, but he's never been on my ignore list. ;)
Gravdigr • Jan 15, 2010 3:40 pm
TheMercenary;625918 wrote:
Caribou is very good. Venison is good too. I would love to try elk. One that I shot myself.


Merc, c'mon up to Kentucky and shoot one of ours. We'll treat ya so many different ways, you're bound to like one of 'em.:D
Sundae • Jan 15, 2010 4:47 pm
Damnit.
I have a violent craving for game now.
Quick! Someone send me a ticket to the States and take me out to a restaurant that serves all that good stuff!

And when I say take me out, I don't mean kill me.
Just to clear up any potential misunderstanding.

Might see if I can talk Mum into some game for Sunday dinner. Then again, I'd want it bleeding and she prefers overcooked. I'll wait.
Shawnee123 • Jan 15, 2010 4:50 pm
We can go to Buffalo Jacks. They have buffalo, elk...all that weird stuff.

Me, I'm not adventurous in eating, I'll just get some Walleye or something.
skysidhe • Jan 15, 2010 9:43 pm
I'd rather go to Rules in London and have Pheasant Pie
with Creamed Morrels.

Or how about
Jugged Hare
with Neeps & Tatties

[I]
There are lots of puddings for desert. :drool:

I
have decided I have not lived. If I die before I get to visit the UK I hope they have a traditional UK menu in heaven.[/I]
TheMercenary • Jan 16, 2010 10:57 am
Shawnee123;626901 wrote:
We can go to Buffalo Jacks. They have buffalo, elk...all that weird stuff.

Me, I'm not adventurous in eating, I'll just get some Walleye or something.
We almost always make our burgers out of ground buffalo. It is leaner and {at least I want to believe} better for ya. Ok now I want a Buffalo burger.
Shawnee123 • Jan 16, 2010 10:59 am
I actually have had the buffalo burger, years ago, I think I was in HS or college. It was pretty good, as I recall. I just don't get (and as I said I'm not an adventurous eater) picking the unusual over the known. I'm SO boring in culinary pursuits.
TheMercenary • Jan 16, 2010 11:03 am
You ought to try it, it really doesn't taste that much different, you can get it most stores now.
Shawnee123 • Jan 16, 2010 11:04 am
I don't know that I've ever seen it in stores. I'll look, and maybe, just maybe, try it. :)
Glinda • Jan 16, 2010 1:43 pm
I had llama meat last night. Tasted like hamburger. *shrug*
monster • Jan 16, 2010 3:12 pm
My friend fed me a Trader Joe's Buffalo Burger a few months back. Ugh. Like a regular burger but with added cardboard.
toranokaze • Jan 16, 2010 3:47 pm
I love buffalo and would like to eat more of it. I am also quite fond of venison, in fact we got a lot of venison from my maternal aunt over the holidays.
TheMercenary • Jan 16, 2010 3:47 pm
Cardboard! Heh. I'll cook one up for ya if you ever head South. I'll treat the whole family to some big burgers.
Shawnee123 • Jan 16, 2010 3:50 pm
Glinda;627233 wrote:
I had llama meat last night. Tasted like hamburger. *shrug*


Reminds me of the old Goldthwait joke "tastes like chicken? So buy a fucking chicken, it's the cheapest fucking meat you can buy."
squirell nutkin • Jan 16, 2010 4:09 pm
monster;627257 wrote:
My friend fed me a Trader Joe's Buffalo Burger a few months back. Ugh. Like a regular burger but with added cardboard.


I'd say that had more to do with Trader Joe's than Buffalo. There was a Buffalo Ranch not far from us for several years. (The guy recent;y sold his herd to someone in VT) and we ended up eating a lot of buffalo, mostly as burger. It seemed everyone in town was using it, you could even get it at the local diner. It was nearly indistinguishable from good, lean Beef, a little lean but much sweeter.

I didn't think it justified the price difference especially since if I bought beef by the half I paid about $2.50# (for all cuts) the buffalo was like $6-7#

The 100% Buffalo sausages were awful, they didn't have nearly enough fat in them and the recipe they used was boring.
Gravdigr • Jan 17, 2010 1:26 am
Ruby Tuesday. Bison bacon cheese burger. That's all I'm sayin'.
TheMercenary • Jan 17, 2010 5:11 am
All food at Ruby Tuesday sucks.
Gravdigr • Jan 17, 2010 3:39 pm
Not the bison bacon cheeseburger...
squirell nutkin • May 11, 2010 10:18 pm
I got a replacement headlight from a junkyard for $100. It even had all the lamps; righteous.

Now, the dealer told me it would be $572. to replace just the headlight, they told me the entire bumper had to be removed to install the new light, so I put off the replacement until the weather warmed up, figuring it would take me a while.

Sunday I had to drive at night and I figured I had spent all my good luck chips by now so I decided install the headlight.

Three bolts, two and a half minutes. No bumper removal. Subtracting $327. for a new OEM headlight from $572 install charge, = $245 for 2 and a half minutes work. That's about $6000 an hour labor charge.

Not bad for a few minutes work.
Cicero • May 12, 2010 1:39 am
From the Weird News thread:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/...entry_id=62772

Are you guys happy now? :)
xoxoxoBruce • May 12, 2010 2:29 am
Bad link
Pete Zicato • May 19, 2010 12:54 pm
xoxoxoBruce;655632 wrote:
Bad link

Sit.


Stay.
squirell nutkin • May 19, 2010 2:01 pm
No Biscuit!
classicman • May 19, 2010 2:05 pm
Cicero;655631 wrote:
From the Weird News thread:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/...entry_id=62772

Are you guys happy now? :)


xoxoxoBruce;655632 wrote:
Bad link


Try this one
Shawnee123 • May 19, 2010 2:09 pm
I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...
"Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me
and keeps typing.
-- Steven Wright