The Weekly Wagon Roll Call
Many dwellars are on the wagon for one thing or another - tobacco, alcohol, maybe other things.
Instead of posting admissions of slips to a drunken/smoking thread, I invite you to post declarations of success in this thread.
Start by declaring yourself on the wagon with a post. Then, every Sunday (or the next convenient day after) check back and announce how you did.
My sincere respect goes to anyone struggling with their own weakness in this way. Best wishes to you all.
Present. I'm off the booze going on 2 years. It isn't usually hard for me, but this week was a challenge and [voice of]the holidays are coming.[/doom]
Wow, time flies. I didn't realize it had been that long, Griff. Congratulations again.
I'm on the water wagon. No booze. I have not been as successful as Grif but I aspire to be. Onward!
18 years tomorrow for no alcohol, about 4 weeks of no smokes. I've been an on again off again smoker, had to quit again...it's really hurting my run time for PT in the Army. As far as not drinking goes, congratulating me for not drinking is like congratulating a cowboy with hemorrhoids for not riding his horse. I am happy with the result though.
Good on the rest of you, doing what ever is you think you need to do to make your life better, or more live-able. I support that.
Count me on the wagon train. Decided to sober up last May and have been almost completely abstinent since - few minor slips, but nothing major, thank God.
Around a year without drinking. That is also being at one of the biggest party/drinking schools in the country.
Been on the wagon for some things about 20 years and others only a few.
Well, I got through yesterday. My head wasn't always in the best place but I was able to patiently explain (again and then again) that I have too much alcoholism in my family to drink. I only have to look at my daughters to know that I'm on the right track. Dad is expressing concern about the amount of boozing my sister and bro-in-law do... not a conversation I really want to have with anyone.
It amazes me in this day and age that some would still comment on--or even pressure!--what others choose to drink. The extent of our family's beverage conversation is, "There's beer, soda, and a few other things in the cooler, or we have wine in the kitchen. Just grab whatever you want. So how are you guys?"
It probably stems from their view of me as a booze hound who was a happy drunk. I fear I'm a bit more reserved now and it makes them uncomfortable.
I know that feeling Griff. Some of my older friends and to an extent family are not used to me being happy just sitting quietly with a soda or water...
As an aside - A neighbor brought up in conversation that some friends were allowing minors to drink wine with the holiday dinner. Some thought it was just fine and mentioned that the "Italians" do it all the time. Uh, no. I've not heard of this, nor have any of my relatives that I asked about it.
Had a nice Thanksgiving with sober friends, so I wasn't the least bit tempted. I tell people who want to give me a drink that I am allergic to the stuff which is true.
...not used to me being happy just sitting quietly with a soda or water...
Thank you for that brother. Eventually they'll conclude that I no longer
need to be the life of the party.
lol - yeh I think I used to be invited just to be the "Free Entertainment" value.
Now that they realize I'm not gonna act like an drunken idiot I have a lot less invitations, and a lot less temptation/problems. At first I took it wrong, but then I realized its actually a good thing. Sorts out those who aren't really interested in my well being. Those who aren't - I don't need them in my life anyway.
As an aside - A neighbor brought up in conversation that some friends were allowing minors to drink wine with the holiday dinner. Some thought it was just fine and mentioned that the "Italians" do it all the time. Uh, no. I've not heard of this, nor have any of my relatives that I asked about it.
I don't know about Italians specifically, but two German exchange students I knew in high school both mentioned that their parents would let them drink wine with dinner, and their (admittedly biased) assessment of this was that it was a good thing, that European teenagers did not find drinking to be rebellious or a big deal, so they didn't have any motivation to get stupidly drunk like American kids did.
My parents let me have small amounts of alcohol in the house on rare occasions, but it was usually an after-dinner thing, not wine with dinner. My dad firmly believed that if he tried to keep me away from it entirely, that would just guarantee I would go on raging benders in college trying to make up for lost time.
I don't drink as much as I used to. Haven't for quite a while now. It's helped me discover who my real friends are.
I've mentioned in years past about our family christmas celebrations. One year, someone decided it'd be funny to crown the two blokes and chicks who drink the most as king and queen pissheads. I think it was at that point I should have realized I drank too much, but it was a number of years after that. Still, it's better late than never I guess.
Rollcall.
I know it is only Saturday, and maybe Friday for some of us, but temptation is strong about now. State with deserved pride if you have done well.
Slipping off and getting back on certainly counts as having done well.
I see you here, Zen. I hear you, too! Wishing you the strength you need to get through the festive season.
I haven't had a drop since Nov. 15 - so I get my one month token...for the hundreth time. ah, well, they call it "alcoholic math."
Good here. I managed to slip out of a black mood without stumbling.
I'm on the other side. The side that has lost a spouse do to their alcoholism and drug abuse. After that break up I didn't have a drink until my kid reached the age of 18. It was just an unspoken proof, as a single parent,that family and relationships are more important than a drink. I couldn't claim the reasons for the breakup were this or that without walking the walk myself.
Made a meeting last night so I managed another sober 24 hours - it was a close call, though. Mornings are best part of day for me. I now can't believe that I would indulge in that morning drink. Ick! Brianna, I've got a bunch of 30 day chips, too. Still progress as far as I'm concerned because I was a daily drinker by the end.
Bloody well done, Sam. Little victories. Each one is worth having.
I stopped drinking after college. I never had a problem with it, but it never really did anything for me. Every year or two I'll have a glass of wine or beer, but I just don't have the taste for it. My drink snobbery now is basically tea.
There was never much alcohol in my family when I was growing up and I hoped to pass that on. Unfortunately, Lee drinks and smokes, two things Mrs. Levy and I have never done the entire time we have been married beyond the occasional glass of wine at Passover. Fortunately, he has shown a great level of responsibility and never had a DUI incident or related accident, something that happened a lot with his friends.
As long as he sticks to mostly beer and wine, and in moderation, I haven't got an issue. The smoking really pisses me off though, especially with the baby. He does go outside with friends to do it, so again he's at least being responsible.
I see you here, Zen. I hear you, too! Wishing you the strength you need to get through the festive season.
Thanks, Limey, but I'm not actually on the wagon for anything. This thread is just to help those of us who are.
I am, however, a little wary about regular drinking, because a few branches of my family tree got bent down, and probably broken off, by alcohol.
Made 2 years sober and smoke-free last Halloween. I'm looking forward to another year without hangovers and smoker's cough. :)
Good luck to everyone over Christmas/New Year's.
Congrats to you - all of you/us.
6 years sober. And today is 7 months smoke free.
It's damn hard to be a rebel without any vices, I tell ya. :rolleyes:
6 years sober. And today is 7 months smoke free.
It's damn hard to be a rebel without any vices, I tell ya. :rolleyes:
I go to a summer music camp where we all, naturally, wear jeans, t shirts, shorts etc etc, except one guy who wears a collar and tie. We gently joshed him for being such a conformist, until he pointed out that
he was the one being most rebellious by wearing such formal attire when all around were dressed casually ... :3eye:
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is shunned as a raving lunatic.
I go to a summer music camp
Nice story, but you should have started it "This one time at band camp.....".:lol2:
:band:
Yay Bri!
:thumb::cheerldr:
Politely refused another drink offer from someone who has already been told I'm off the stuff a number of times. I'm getting better at no thank you.
Family is the hardest to to impress this on, since family is where my alcohol problem resides.
If you are ever in the spot of thinking "it would be rude of me to refuse", always remember, it was already rude of them to offer if they know you're on the wagon.
What Nancy said. An no, not the bit about "Oh God, Ronnie, deeper! Deeper!"
ouch not the mental picture I needed. :thepain:
Politely refused another drink offer from someone who has already been told I'm off the stuff a number of times. I'm getting better at no thank you.
Family is the hardest to to impress this on, since family is where my alcohol problem resides.
Go Griff!
Congratulations to everyone who made it through Christmas. I recently saw someone whose spouse drank themselves to death not too long ago. I keep on thinking of alcohol deaths as usually accident/homicide/suicide, but even in this day and age it is still possible to kill yourself with just the alcohol.
The incidents of fatal alcohol poisoning that happens in a single day is bad enough, but watching someone drink themselves into an early grave must be brutal.
I was interpreter for the widow at the funeral of a guy who drank himself to death ... not a fun job. Full marks to the officiating priest - he provided me with the texts of the relevant readings from the Bible in the required language (Russian) ...
Congratulations to everyone who made it through Christmas. I recently saw someone whose spouse drank themselves to death not too long ago. I keep on thinking of alcohol deaths as usually accident/homicide/suicide, but even in this day and age it is still possible to kill yourself with just the alcohol.
The incidents of fatal alcohol poisoning that happens in a single day is bad enough, but watching someone drink themselves into an early grave must be brutal.
New Year's will be tough for some of our buddies here. There is such a culture of boozing around Jan1 it can really put the pressure on. Good luck friends, I'm staying in on amateur night.
That is an awful thing to witness.
I will be firmly planted at the homestead with my loved ones. I may have a beer or two and a glass of champagne to finally put to rest the year that was the worst of our collective lives. I am looking forward to 2010 to be one full of hope and progress.
Strangely enough, the holidays aren't the problem. It's this day to day living that wears me out (apologies to Chekov) and makes me want to escape.
Agree with Brianna. Its the little things that keep accumulating until I am so fed up that a drink starts looking like a viable option.
:blush:
I'm just happy about it, that's all. My friend celebrated a year today!!
congrats Bri - thats great to hear. Now get that damn three month coin and we can all toast you with a little carbonated pear juice.
YES! I made it through the holidays on cranberry juice alone. What a difference from last year! (:greenface). Today I am :D. Hope to get my one year chip in May. That's still a ways off, but one day at a time I hope to make it.
congrats, Sam!!! I like to mix half cranberry juice with half grapefruit. Very tasty over some ice. Cranberry juice with sparkling water and a lime twist is nice, too.
I seem to have worked out that if I don't actually buy alcohol, I won't actually drink it.
Other people do not seem to want to buy it for me very often.
Good job guys!
As for my own situation- still smoking. boo! I'll get back to this thread when I am committed to totally quitting.
Good job Sam. I congratulate you!
Bloody well done Sam! And you too Bri.
I don't even like them, but I keep reading "The Weekly Wagon Wheel Call" and thinking "mmmm chocolate" :lol:
Ooooo. I love Wagon Wheels!
They've got an awful lot smaller though. The lunchbox culture strikes again!
You've got to grin to get it in? Oh my! :eek:
Those who are staying on the wagon, keep up the good work! Some of those addictions are tough to beat, but you are doing it, and it renews my faith in our culture. I've been off cigarettes for 7 years, and will never go back. Alcohol, I just stopped enjoying one day. I was very lucky, because I was drunk every day, but it's been almost 40 years now since I stopped. Cigarettes was a tougher thing for me.
Keep up the good work spud. I was fortunate to never start smoking cigarettes. Glad you're back on board Bri. Still ok here.
two months, baby.
You go, girl! The main laundromat in town is located right next to a liquor store. Last week I managed to keep my mind on the laundry and not sit there drooling out the window at the Corona sign. That's progress for me!
I will have 8 months next Wednesday - the Lord willing and the creeks don't rise. Whoo Hoo!
I'm ready to jump off at any moment - Good thing I don't have the time.
Sooooo effin pissed about so much, Frustrated beyond belief.
Gotta love life - eh?
Am on it officially again.
Doing well. It was sneaking up to becoming a habit again after Christmas and then Cardiff...
Currently 1 week and 1 day since anything other than mouthwash entered my mouth. Alcoholic-wise I mean. I wanted to leave it at least a week before joining the thread because I was getting along for 4-5 days fine before but drinking at the weekends. So this is a new start.
You go, SG! One thing I have found helpful is to use non-alcoholic mouthwash. The alcohol taste tends to linger in my mouth and sometimes makes it feel natural to enter the liguor store for the real thing. I am ashamed to admit this, but once I drank half a bottle of mouthwash. NOT reccomended! :greenface
I haven't found the mouthwash to be a problem. I only know about it because my SIL warned me when I was Antabuse. I wouldn't have been aware of it otherwise.
Two weeks and one day.
Yay me.
Feels longer, but not in a bad way. Have I really turned a corner when it all seemed so pointless only a little while ago?
...staying away from the...
:) i am very happy. I am feeling well. :)
thanks for your continued support ;)
ROLL CALL!
I haven't killed a hobo all year.
Well, there was one hit-and-run, but he was a squeegie-mop guy doing windscreens, so that was self defense.
Still ON. Nearly four months.
good here, nice work Bri!
Way to go, Bri and Griff!
Yay, Bri and Griff! I'm going on 9 months. Had a close call the other day, but I resisted.
Keep at it - great going folks!
11 Months! In one more month I'm going to celebrate with a super latte with 3 shots of expresso in a super latte and have caffeine jitters all day! Sure beats the other kind! :D
Woo-Hoo! I'd take you out to lunch to celebrate (if I lived anywhere near you)...
Yay, Bri and Griff! I'm going on 9 months. Had a close call the other day, but I resisted.
11 Months! In one more month I'm going to celebrate with a super latte with 3 shots of expresso in a super latte and have caffeine jitters all day! Sure beats the other kind! :D
Does not compute? written on 3/6 and 4/6? Congrats anyway, either is a great achievement
Rollcall!
Brianna, how many days have you been back on the wagon? Every one has been an achievement. Well done. :Hugs:
Rollcall!
Brianna, how many days have you been back on the wagon? Every one has been an achievement. Well done. :Hugs:
I've been without demon rum for one week. My head is clearing.
thanks :) it means a lot that I can share this with you all. In a lot of ways, the Cellar is my rock.
Your rock, because you rock. Who loves ya, Baby? :grouphug:
A stick of Blackpool Rock.
A stick of Blackpool Rock.
[YOUTUBE]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QvNh40ZIRa0&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QvNh40ZIRa0&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
[/YOUTUBE]
Enjoy! Or then again, perhaps not.
A lick of Blackpool rock...
[YOUTUBE]I5XXJJUzrcg[/YOUTUBE]
I was on the wagon for about one year - the Cellar wagon. I fell off about a week ago and here I am.
Does not compute? written on 3/6 and 4/6? Congrats anyway, either is a great achievement
Yea, I tend to round up or down, but my sobriety date is May 10th. That's solid. And I'm still moving toward getting my one year chip next month. Yay! Day atta time. ;)
what is that, dana??
A stick of Blackpool Rock.
I suppose you'd call it some sort of candy cane, but it is straight, usually mint flavoured and, as you can see, has the name of the resort that it was bought at all through the middle.
My brain was like shattered glass on the pavement all week. Thor's hammer, I needed a damn drink. Still dry.
:comfort:
Me - thirty days last tuesday. Again. Alcoholic math.
I'm with y'all on the wagon these days. Not for sobriety reasons, for diet reasons.
Still sucks.
Still, ONWARD!
I'mma climb on the band wagon with all y'all. My bloodwork came back and everything was all good except my liver functions were all high. Despite not having had more than about two bottles of wine since November, when I unofficially hit the wagon.
So the doc told me not to drink for 6 weeks, which wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't told me I couldn't. Nothing makes me want to do something more, than being told I can't. Even if I didn't want to in the first place.
So now I'm officially not drinking. Even after six weeks is up, I get the feeling that that won't be the end of it either.
:comfort:
Me - thirty days last tuesday. Again. Alcoholic math.
Thanks Bri, I need all the help I can get... It was supposed to get fucking easier at least in my head I thought that. Good work girl.
I'mma climb on the band wagon with all y'all. My bloodwork came back and everything was all good except my liver functions were all high. Despite not having had more than about two bottles of wine since November, when I unofficially hit the wagon.
So the doc told me not to drink for 6 weeks, which wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't told me I couldn't. Nothing makes me want to do something more, than being told I can't. Even if I didn't want to in the first place.
So now I'm officially not drinking. Even after six weeks is up, I get the feeling that that won't be the end of it either.
That is some scary shit bro and I know that guy who wants to do mostly what people tell him not to.
Sober weirdness. I'm getting better at it but its still clumsy. We put a roof on my brother's house yesterday. Traditionally we'd all get tanked after so I just eased out after dinner, leaving the boozing to those qualified to handle it.
good for you, Griff.
it's always better to wake up sober. Always.
Yeah, if I can focus on how I'll feel the next day, I'm golden.
Nice non-alcoholic beer I found called Kaliber by Guiness. Delish!
On the non-drinking wagon 7 years, 1 year of non-smoking now too.
I was pleased with my efforts but after reading through this thread now feel quite pathetic in comparison to some folk here. In a couple of weeks time, on June 13th, it will be exactly a year since my last drink.
Yay, Rhianne! Keep up the good work Squirrel and Griff and everyone else. I got my 1 year chip on May 10th. I hope I never ever again touch another drop.
Thank you Sam. On a separate but related (and more girly) note, I only press the bathroom scales down three-quarters as far as I did then too.
Great job all! Keep up the good work.
Thank you Sam. On a separate but related (and more girly) note, I only press the bathroom scales down three-quarters as far as I did then too.
That's due to Global Decrease in the Gravitational Constant (which will need to be addressed after Global Climate Change is sorted out).
That's due to Global Decrease in the Gravitational Constant (which will need to be addressed after Global Climate Change is sorted out).
Can I get some of that over here, please?
And well done all you wagonners - keep it up, I'm cheering for you all!
Yes, thanks to all wagoners - you're helping to keep prices down.
I worry that I'm causing unemployment in Scotland.
Well done Rhianne. Everyone has their own row to hoe, comparing success across different lives doesn't seem useful.
I used to smoke when I was a teenager between 12 and 16. Up to 2 packets/day of "Gauloises" (French brand, brown tobacco, no filter) by the end.
Then I began to think that my time doing laps in the pool sucked. So I stopped drastically. No cigs at all. And I got better.
On the evening of my 20th birthday, I was wishing for a smoke. And I thought : To hell with that, I'll be twenty only once, go for a cigar.
I cannot say that I'm addicted to cigar, but I indulge once in a while (8 or 10 times a year) and they're big (Churchill size).
As for the booze, I had a few episodes as a youth where I went on a binge session. Now, I'm out of that. I still indulge, but I drink a lot less and a lot more better. From Jhonn y Walker Red (2 bottles/night every week end) to Balvenie Cuban Wood, my current favorite (half a glass every 2 or 3 weeks).
On the drug front, never did it. And I never had that desire. Unless you consider girls as a drug :)
alcohol takes another one: ted koppel's son, Andrew.
What a shame.
Wow Bri. I just read that and thought about posting it here but decided not to. I'm guessing that he vomited while passed out and choked to death.
Another tragic story. 40 with a young baby. :(
I'm guessing that he vomited while passed out and choked to death.
Or just shut his respritory system down.
Either way - it's ugly.
Another painful reminder.
So, today I am working on my 4th step (made a searching and fearless moral inventory) and my 5th (admitted the exact nature of my wrongs).
They must be kidding! I can just see the founders of AA saying, "Look at that! The idiots are actually doing it! (snigger). I wonder what else we could fool them into doing?"
I am exhausted. I never realized so many emotions would surface in the process of doing this - so much anger and guilt. And this is with what I admit to being a shallow and terrified immoral inventory.
Looking back on my life, I am so filled with regret. Why on earth did I do all those stupid things? Why did I ever pick up my very first drink when I knew first hand what alcohol did to my father?
I have been putting off these two steps for a year, and now I know why. If Wolf's outfit wasn't so far away, I think I'd go check in at her place.
The one good thing about this is that I have a terrific sponsor who is very simpatico. The other good thing is that I am going to be finished with it soon.
For any of you 12-steppers out there who have done a 4th and a 5th, my hat is off to you.
Day at time - yep, yep. I now have a year and two months!
congratulations, Sammie.
I know how hard it is.
Proud of all of you making your way through your struggles.
Tomorrow marks my 52nd day of being smoke-free.
I'm proud of myself!
i come from a family of addictions. i struggle myself with nicotine in various forms, myself, and food as well. i feel a little blessed that alcohol is one that hasn't caught me as it has so many in my family but i've been intimately acquainted with the alcoholic process through said family and friends, as well as other forms of substance abuse. for those of you trying to fight your addictions, whatever they may be, please let me offer my heart-felt wishes of support and encouragement. you can do it - remember that. Even if you slip, don't give up. keep fighting your good fight to make your life better - it's worth it. Be strong, be proud, and be yourself. I'm pleased and proud for you all, even if I don't know you personally.
Thread Bump.
How are you doing? No false modesty.
Drinking metric assloads of coffee. Suck ass week but kept it together.:yeldead:
Two weeks tomorrow.
Longest time in a long time, if you see what I mean.
Keep it up SG!
BrianR hows the no smoking going?
poorly poorly.
but today is another day and I'm ok today.
As posted elsewhere. It was almost torture on my daughter's 18th birthday but next day was back to normal.
Thread Bump.
How are you doing? No false modesty.
3 years sober and nicotine-free as of Halloween 2010. :)
Hubby has finally gotten on the wagon this past winter (he's had a few slips) and he's hanging in.
I also started a nutrition plan in September 2010 and I've lost 25 pounds and 4 inches in my waist.
Onward and upward.
..........still rollin' along on the wagon :D.
2722 days...or,
7 years, 5 months, and 12 days....
exactly.
YAY, Stormie! I have one year and nine months. Coming up toward my two year mark on May 10!
I found a site called CalendarHome.com and put in the dates.
691 days
No great anniversary there but it lists it in hours or minutes (or even seconds) too.
995040 minutes - almost a million!!
Nearly time to celebrate, pass me that..., well, maybe not...
Still sober and smoke free!
Coming up on two years on May 10th. Woo Hoo!
And congrats to Rhianne and Stormierweather!
needed a drink today.
it was great for about five minutes.
I've stopped now.
needed a miracle - every day. :D
Need a fucking drink... I won't, but just fuck you know?
I was just about to bump this thread. Really.
Be strong, Griff.
Don't say 'need', say 'want'.
I bet there are a lot of things you want.
How are we all going? How do we get through the "festive" season?
I'm getting more comfortable with not drinking at social gatherings. My real issue is avoiding booze when I'm stressed out. In an odd flip, my avoidance of religion has made it much easier to remain sober. I don't have some organization's concept of God judging my actions and beliefs. Life is a lot easier when you are not trying to force your mind to believe things which are obvious bullshit left-over from medieval control freaks derived from desert dwelling insanity. ymmv but mine is pretty good.
"Medieval control freaks" is a pretty good description.
I go to AA about once a week. It's all I can handle. If I go too much I just get pissed off and I'm pretty sure that's not the intent of the meetings.
I try to remember that "some are sicker than others" and to shut my ears to some of the nonsense. Just b/c it works for one person doesn't mean it will work for another.
I am taking steps to reduce my time with my mother. For some reason her anxiety triggers my anxiety and she is a Very Anxious Person.
I am taking steps to reduce my time with my mother. For some reason her anxiety triggers my anxiety and she is a Very Anxious Person.
Wow! ding ding ding. We're in the same boat on this one. I'll row over here, you take that side.
Anytime I want a drink, I just remind myself of what the hangovers felt like. So far, so good.
9 years, 2 months, and 19 days.
Still, after a round like I just had with my D16, I think of de-stressing with alcohol. Grrr.
Good for you BB... has it helped with the vision at all?
I didn't realise there were so many wagoners here. Hmmmm...
It is remarkable unless its different in the general population than we're assuming.
Yeah maybe. I don't know if it's much of a thing over here though, or maybe not as much as it is in the US and maybe UK.
People sometimes 'go easy' for a while, meaning they're planning on not drinking too much for a while, or they might give up completely, but I don't think there's as many AA meetings here. Particularly not in Qld.
I dunno. Maybe it's different down south. We're a bit less organised about stuff like that up here maybe. I actually don't think I know a single person IRL who's been to an AA meeting. I know plenty who probably should, or might benefit from it though.
I used to "go easy" on the booze to "prove" it wasn't a problem, but I finally decided to stop. I'm not in AA, I don't think it would be helpful for me as a recovering Catholic. I'm better with taking control rather than giving up control. Being out of control was the issue as I see it.
Yeah, I see what you mean.
Sometimes I wonder if I should give up booze, but I don't drink all the time and I don't use it as a crutch, although there have been times in my life that I have. I guess I just wonder when you know you need to give up, and what's the difference between that and thinking it'd be better for your health (useless calories etc) to do so, and if you do give up then, is there some kind of mind set you need to stop yourself from boozing again, or is it even necessary?
How do you know when it's a problem and when you're mostly just a social drinker?
This thread keeps coming up....today will make two days shy of 20 years. Myself, I'm an AAer. I love the place, saved my life. Good on everyone in the thread, however you are going about it. It can be a hard thing, I know.
How do you know when it's a problem and when you're mostly just a social drinker?
Irish heritage?;) I still don't have an answer for that. My social drinking often ended up in binging and vomiting. I just couldn't be happy with a light buzz. My relax at the end of the day scotch just got taller and taller... My little inside voice still says I could learn to drink sensibly and my usual attitude is to find middle way but with booze there is too much to lose. As a Dad, I don't want my girls to see me as a stupid drunk or ending up with a stupid drunk. In part, this is a gift to my descendents. But mostly, I have a good life and don't want to screw it up. Calorie reduction is something I haven't thought about much, maybe I should call it that and not cop to a serious flaw between my ears. :)
This thread keeps coming up....today will make two days shy of 20 years. Myself, I'm an AAer. I love the place, saved my life. Good on everyone in the thread, however you are going about it. It can be a hard thing, I know.
Good for you Joe!
Way to go, busterb! And it really does get easier if you can just make it through the first 90 days or so.
I've got about 2 1/2 years now. I go to AA a couple of times a week, but I'm with Bri. I tend to disagree with some of the stuff that gets said there. Plus, my Mom would drive me to drink, too. She has now passed on to a (hopefully) better place. She sure hated THIS life, though, and she made sure everyone around her knew it. Pass the Jim Beam, Mom. :drunk:
congrats regular joe! And busterb!!
Ali - an alcoholic lays awake at night wondering if they're an alcoholic.
Good for you Grif, for making it and for doing it the way that works for YOU.
I go to AA once/twice a week. Otherwise I get too pissed off at them and it gives me an excuse to drink. Not that I need one. I drink because I'm an alcoholic: I need no "excuse" no "reason" no "but I was molested at age 5..." bullshit story. those are all excuses. I need reality checks a lot.
alcohol is pure poison to me. It's no longer any fun at all to drink - it is only a blackout and then - 7-14 days of HELL
Sam = 'about 2 1/2 years'
Me = 2 years, 5 months, 9 days
Am I SamIam?
drinking.
buzzed.
Please take my keys.
Good for you Joe!
Congratulating a drunk like myself for not drinking is like congratulating a cowboy with hemorrhoids for not riding his horse. I understand the sentiment though and commend anyone in my shoes for their efforts.
I disagree with you there, Joe.
Sure, you know that in the big picture you're better off not drinking, but for twenty years you have successfully resisted that sneaky little voice whispering .. go on .. just one ... a little one won't hurt ... etc.
You know that voice is bullshit, but it will sneak in at any moment of weakness. If you have seriously gone twenty years without a slip, you are bloody awesome.
No arguing.
Yay, Buster!!! Well done :)
My Mum is an alcoholic and so is my brother.
I know if I want Mum to pick the boys up, I have to call her at lunchtime so she doesnt get stuck into it.
My brother helped me drive up here (16 hours with 2 kids, 2 dogs, a cat and a bird - leaving at 9pm), but he could only drive for a few hours because he *had* to drink.
We fight about it a lot, he works in a job which means he has to be 0.00 alcohol and drugs and is tested regularly. This is for 28 days in a row, he has no issues during this time, but as soon as he is home he is drop down drunk. I dont know why my sister in law puts up with it.
Alcoholism is a strange and frustrating disease.
Especially to those of us that have it.
I do know how maddening we can be - not only am I one myself, I deal with lots of them, too, in various stages of illness/recovery. Sometimes I just want to shake them and tell them to WAKE UP! and I am one of the tribe. I know - soooooooooo frustrating.
sorry to all of you who have to deal with us. My hope is that we do, indeed, WAKE up and resist that seductive voice that Zengum does such a good impression of!
that seductive voice that Zengum does such a good impression of!
Hmmmm.... this is giving me ideas ....
First day today.
My word I feel grim.
I'm hoping that I'm just working through the worst of the hangover from last night and will soon start feeling better.
And that I will feel better every single day from now on.
No more morning retching which I have to disguise as a cough.
No more worrying about being too close to people in case they can smell drink on me from the night before.
No more worrying in the morning because I can't find the right amount of empty cans in my room so maybe I left one downstairs or in the computer room.
Oh and hoping to feel my gunt shrink, as opposed to feeling it grow a little every week.
Hello to my fellow travellers.
I might come here quite a bit to start with.
If it helps to be heard, have at. For me putting my intention out there helps me stay focused. Feel free to bounce things off us, its all the same price... or we can just shut up and listen.
Feel better physically today, so it was just a hangover.
Once all the alcohol leaves my system I'll see if there are any lingering nasties.one of the things I worry about is sorting out my sleep pattern. Last night was awful! I know once I do things will be much batter as I'll be getting restful sleep.
Weighed myself today.
Good news - I don't weigh as much as I thought.
Like the inverse of taking drugs ... You feel better when you are on them and then think "Oh heck I'm fine I don't need them anymore. You stop taking them and start feeling poorly physically, but more so mentally.
Same thing with drinking or taking "illegal" drugs (any addiction really). One stops for awhile and starts to feel better and thinks just one or just on special occasions or or or ... YMMV
rinse recycle repeat... till one decides No mas.
Personally, its been about 10 years since I've done coke or weed. I STILL think at times that I'd like to do it again - just a little or whatever... Just catch a buzz and chill for a lil while. :headshake
Then I breath deep and keep moving on. Distract myself and think about my kids, family, friends ...
I feel the same way about a ciggie, classic. I haven't smoked since last July, but I still feel the urge. It's almost a casual feeling. I just had a tasty meal, now a good smoke would really cap it off.
Oh yeah, right. That was Brian. Pam doesn't smoke because she wants to LIVE! And mixing nicotine and estrogen is a recipe for a stroke or PE. And I surely don't want THAT!
Then the urge passes.
I'm with ya, Sundae. Go for sobriety.
thanxxx sir I didn't realize it had been that long, Griff. Congratulations again.
I've heard that the usual craving for illicit substances or even litcit ones (cigs, booze) lasts about seven minutes.
It can feel very urgent, very RIGHT NOW! - but it will pass. I have been known to give in, though, in those awful seven minutes. It only takes that long for me to get to the liquor store. :(
But I'm on the water wagon. I feel much better when I am.
I"m really not afraid of drinking and dying - I'm afraid of drinking and NOT dying.
Something for Sundae from James McMurtry:
My thoughts were gnawing at me
So I tried hard not to think
I took a pint of whiskey
And poured it down the sink
I'd get my act together
I swore it to myself
I looked up at your picture
And I knocked it off the shelf
(chorus)
Every little bit counts
Every little bit counts
Too little too late, sorry
Too little too late for me
I tried and I tried and I tried
to be so good
Wanted to be good so bad
I tried and I tried and I tried
every trick I could
'til I'd emptied out the
whole damn bag
I'm no longer choking on
the hair of the dog
It's been a couple of weeks now
since I came out of the fog
The highs are slightly higher
And the lows are just as low
A mild improvement on the
average even so
Every little bit counts
Every little bit counts
Though it may not count for much
They could be long forgotten
By the time you add'em up
I really identified with that tune when I was first breaking up with alcohol. Oddly, I couldn't find it on youtube. McMurtry really delivers it.
Bump time!
How are folks going?
I'm doing ok. New sponsor. Trying. Trying. Always trying.
From and including: Saturday, 13 June 2009
To and including: Thursday, 29 March 2012
It is 1021 days from the start date to the end date, end date included
Or 2 years, 9 months, 17 days including the end date
Alternative time units
1021 days can be converted to one of these units:
■88,214,400 seconds
■1,470,240 minutes
■24,504 hours
■145 weeks (rounded down)
Thanks for the 'bump' Zen. It's a while since I last looked at timeanddate.com, if you'd posted three weeks ago I could have celebrated a 1000 day anniversary!
I hope everyone is doing well.
Rhianne, go binary!
2 to the 10th is 1024, so in another three days, you get a big milestone!
I like that method of counting, Rhianne. Here's mine:
From and including: Wednesday, September 3, 2003
To and including: Monday, April 2, 2012
It is 3135 days from the start date to the end date, end date included
Or 8 years, 7 months including the end date
Alternative time units
3135 days can be converted to one of these units:■270,864,000 seconds
■4,514,400 minutes
■75,240 hours
■447 weeks (rounded down)
i don't see how you guys do it. but i'm fixing to find out.
ETA: or try.
Good luck with that philthy!
thx. i need it. this is not easy. then again, i knew it wouldn't be. i've already fallen. i'll get up and dust myself off and try again.
Good luck dude.
Terry Gross interviewed Anna Quinlin this week on her radio show. Anna's description of her relationship with alcohol was so close to mine it was a good check on the old we don't really have a problem voice.
day 8. still new at this so i'm anon for now.
Good luck with the try. Recognize the little victorys.
For all the animosity I harbor for 'having this disease' and 'having to treat it' via what is, essentially, witch-doctor/voo-doo medicine (how many other progressive, terminal diseases are treated with talk therapy and spiritual transformation?) I am always dying to get back to the way I felt before I relapsed. Feeling good in the morning, being in control of myself, NOT having the police come over, etc., is how I want to live/be. So why would I jeopardize that and all the good feelings I get for a drink that will only lead me down a dark and dangerous, potentially fatal, road??
That is the Big Question for alcoholics. Why? It makes no sense! It's insane! It's also part of the disease. And the best the medical community can say is, "Did you go to meetings?" that's their remedy.
Some day - I swear - there will be a real, lasting, medical cure based on science. They will find out what makes an alcoholic an alcoholic and de-activate whatever it is that does it. People will look upon the days when addicts were treated with 'meetings' and 'sponsors' the way we look upon the days when schizophrenics were chained up and beaten and deemed possessed by the devil.
That is the Big Question for alcoholics. Why? It makes no sense! It's insane! It's also part of the disease.
It is insane. makes no sense at all. When I'm at work, I don't think about it. I'm too busy. However, when I'm at home doing whatever, there's that "trigger" that goes off in the back of my head that says "a beer sure would be good right about now." At least it doesn't last too long. When it does happen i quickly occupy myself with some task around the house. Whatever works, right??
Day 9. And I'm not drinking today.
hang in there, anon. like I said, when I'm in withdrawal, I'm dying to get back to sober!
My friends daughter has been in rehab now for several months. She has about 4 or 5 to go in the program run by the Salvation Army. Last Friday she came home for the weekend and I was sort of in charge of her because her Mum was away.
Anyway, her brother and I are pretty certain she snuck away from the footy game we were all at (junior match at an unlicensed venue) and took herself to the local pub for a couple of quick drinks.
Her counsellor says it's up to her to be in charge of herself at times like that and that it's not my fault, even if I do feel that I was supposed to be watching her. Anyway, when she went back to the facility and they did the usual urine and blood tests, she came up clean, so if she did slip, it can't have been much. Hopefully she wont do it again. If she does, she'll lose her privileges.
Her counsellor says it's up to her to be in charge of herself at times like that and that it's not my fault, even if I do feel that I was supposed to be watching her. ....
And that's exactly right. You can lead a horse to water so to speak. There is only ONE person that can help and that is themselves. Sure, the state can make you go to AA or family can put you in rehab but all that does is cause rebelliousness and animosity. It absolutely will not work unless that person has made the conscious, determined decision to quit. Quitting is easy. I've done it a thousand times. It's staying on track that's the hard part.
Another thing that gets me, and I'm guilty of it too, is listening to an alcoholic or user say "the next time I drink/use I'm going to do it different." Really? And just what was it you did before that was different from now? You wound up right back in the same place, the same misery, the same loneliness (insert fucked up situation here).
The way out of the above scenario is to NOT go back and
try to do it differently. Don't go back at all. I/we can't. God I hope I don't.
A very dear friend of mine has over 3 years sobriety. He'd "lecture" me when i was hung over, or so I thought he was but he really wasn't. He'd tell me things that I already knew. Didn't want to hear them, but I did listen. And I watched. I watched how he was living now as opposed to before. There is a light about him. A proud, I am ME attitude about him. Healthy, vibrant, full of life etc..... I want that. I miss that. I still haven't told him about my decision. Hell I've only told I think 2 people. I don't trust myself. I am stubborn. Very stubborn as a matter of fact.
Two more weeks and I'll come clean.
day 9, in like flint. :)
It is TOTALLY not your responsibility to keep her sober, Ali.
that is all up to her. Don't waste a minute wondering about it. She makes her choices.
This girl is 25, so you're right Bri, she is responsible for herself. She agreed to go to rehab because she has a daughter who was taken from her by the girls father and the courts because of her drinking.
Anyway, onwards and upwards. No one's perfect. I just hope she can stick to her guns and win the battle. She's so much nicer even after only a few months sober. She was just a total bitch before she started rehab.
btw anon, keep up the good work. If others can do it, so can you. :)
Bri, have you ever had a doctor suggest Naltrexone? I don't have any idea how appropriate or effective it would be in your situation, but I was reading about it recently. Disrupts the opiate receptors in the brain so you fundamentally don't get the high from just about anything that's supposed to make you high. Doesn't work for all people though, just like everything.
Bri, have you ever had a doctor suggest Naltrexone? I don't have any idea how appropriate or effective it would be in your situation, but I was reading about it recently. Disrupts the opiate receptors in the brain so you fundamentally don't get the high from just about anything that's supposed to make you high. Doesn't work for all people though, just like everything.
Yeah, I've even been on it. I've even tried the oldie goldie Anabuse! the only problem with those things is that --- you can always just stop taking them. Which is what I would do. It was suggested to me that trying to control my alcoholism from the outside (from somewhere outside myself) was always going to fail. If I wanted to drink badly enough, nothing could stop me. I joke that you could airlift me to another country where I don't speak the language, have no money and am hungover to the gills and I could be drunk in half an hour. If an alkie wants to drink, they're going to drink. We could find Jim Beam in the Sahara. There comes that critical time where the only thing that stands between an alcoholic and a drink is their desire to stay sober---some say it's their relationship with their higher power, some say it's their spiritual condition....whatever. At some point you just have to decide what you want.
Long answer! sorry! I'm on my high horse and it's only 7:30 in the morning! better climb down! :)
If your desire to stay sober can stand between you and a drink, you're not an alki. You are a person who can not drink. If you can decide what you want and decide not to drink, you are not an alki. You are a person who has found a sufficient reason to not drink, and decided to not drink.
I'm an alkie, regular.joe. A real one - not those kind on TV. If I do NOT take the first drink, I'm ok; if I take a drink --- all bets are off and I could wind up anywhere - even dead.
What is it that stands between you and a drink if not your desire to live a better, sober life?
Oh, wait. I'll bet it's GOD. One persons Higher Power is another person's Oak Tree.
Bri, dont worry about being on your high horse. Your sharing is much appreciated.
saying I'm not an alcoholic is really rather...funny to me.
That's the first time someone has ever suggested that I'm NOT one.
:lol:
I tried that road of living life on my desire to live a better life sober. Got me nowhere. If that works and continues to work for you, my hat is truly off. I really do think that is great.
Well. then how do you stay sober? I cannot simply say, "God, keep me sober today!" read a meditation and then go about my day only to come home at night, say "thanks, god!" and close my eyes.
I go to meetings. I have a sponsor. I read literature (AA and other inspirational) I talk to people and I go to a therapist every two weeks. All those things are wonderful and helpful but there have been times when I could get no one on the phone, there was no meeting to run to and I drove to the liquor store. I sat in the parking lot going over my last detox in my mind, with all the detail I could muster.
Then I drove away. I decided not to drink. How is that NOT alcoholic?
If going over your last detox will keep you sober forever, then I'll maintain you are a heavy drinker who has found a sufficient reason to stop. If on the other hand there will come a time when you will not be able to muster the where withall to not buy the next bottle, if that is inevitable...coupled with what you have already told me, that you will be off to the races (we call this the phenomenon of craving), you are an alcoholic.
Going to meetings, having a sponsor, reading aa literature and talking to people will not spell the necessary relief. The only reason I read AA literature is to know what is says so that I can do what it says. The AA program is designed to be, and must be practiced independent of meetings. So, how do I stay sober??? I don't have to, the problem has been removed with no thought or effort on my part. First I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him. Then I painstakingly, and precisely followed and continue to follow the directions outlined in our book. I get it, I didn't buy what I thought was snake oil to begin with either. It came down to one of two choices for me, blot out my life to the bitter end, or seek spiritual aid. Now, I ask for inspiration to meet the things that I don't know how to handle, for intuitive thoughts and decisions, for freedom from my self will. All day every day. I have had, and continue to seek after experience with the God of my understanding who handles this problem for me. I am a recovered alcoholic, I go to meetings to try to pass this information on to the next real alki who is sitting confused amongst a whole lot of people who apparently can decide to not drink anymore and just go to meetings and read inspirational books.
wow. If I wasn't spiritually fit today I'd say you're a real dick, regular.joe.
Kidding!
SO - what you're saying is that while I simply ape the program you LIVE the program. You've had the elusive Spiritual Experience! Good for you. But do me favor, will you?
Keep coming back because your humility quotient could use some tweeking. If you were trying to diss me by intimating that I "sit confused....JUST go to meetings and read inspirational books" that's pretty high handed of you.
What's that saying?
Oh, yeah: Live and let live.
And to even suggest that my way isn't the real way and that I am not a "real" alcoholic tells me you know virtually nothing about me. I'll bet if I saw you in a meeting I'd steer very clear of you and your chest thumping.
Peace be with you - but I don't have to be.
I think we all need to accept that people are impacted by alcohol in different ways. Maybe we need to get over labels if they're getting in the way. The Alki® experience can be different. I wouldn't want Bri's experience as the spurs are in pretty deep. My experience has been less traumatic but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I have no need for a label, you can have it, but I still can't have a drink. I simply can't. Reading back through this thread, I see my post about Anna Quinlin having a very similar relationship to alcohol as I do. For both of us it is wound up in Roman Catholic bullshit so naturally I'm not going to embrace any God® driven way of dealing with it. If God works for you keep with it, but understand that for some of us putting the responsibility on something other than ourselves is what got us into difficulty in the first place. If you want to limit your personal definition of alcoholism to people with the exact experience as you, fine enjoy your club, but minimizing others pain is pretty goddamned selfish.
Yeah, I've even been on it. I've even tried the oldie goldie Anabuse! the only problem with those things is that --- you can always just stop taking them. Which is what I would do. It was suggested to me that trying to control my alcoholism from the outside (from somewhere outside myself) was always going to fail. If I wanted to drink badly enough, nothing could stop me. I joke that you could airlift me to another country where I don't speak the language, have no money and am hungover to the gills and I could be drunk in half an hour. If an alkie wants to drink, they're going to drink. We could find Jim Beam in the Sahara. There comes that critical time where the only thing that stands between an alcoholic and a drink is their desire to stay sober---some say it's their relationship with their higher power, some say it's their spiritual condition....whatever. At some point you just have to decide what you want.
Long answer! sorry! I'm on my high horse and it's only 7:30 in the morning! better climb down! :)
Ah, that's a problem I always forget to consider--I always think of meds in terms of just holding them down and making them take it. :) No worries about high horses, I don't see you that way at all. I am glad you are willing to share so much of your story.
True on all counts, not humble, arrogant, and people do avoid me at meetings.
I don't think I've been clear though. I've really only put out the definition of alcoholic as outlined in our book. If when you drink you develop the phenomenon of craving, and if at certain times you can't bring to consciousness with sufficient force the reasons not to drink and you drink again setting in motion the phenomenon of craving, well you are alcoholic. We either fit this description or not. This is not a self description, it's clearly outlined in our literature. If this is arrogant of me, and lacking in humility then so be it. I am tired of watching alkies die around our fellowship. Four this year alone, one suicide, one drunk driving fatality, two alcohol poisoning. The were meeting makers, sponsor callers and book readers. They all said, and hung with the crowd that said they could do this with out some kind of God, that they could just play the tape through and gut it out a day at a time. They spent a lot of time "working on themselves".
I've already told you and I really did mean it that if going to meetings and participating in group therapy, talking with your sponsor, reading our literature, and finally thinking about the details of your last detox will keep you sober...I"M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU. There are a small number of us, at least by my reckoning, that the only relief is provided by Providence, Higher Power, Spirit of the Universe, Creative Intelligence of the Universe...what ever you want to call it. It ain't an oak tree or a door knob. You have made it clear that you can do with out this Thing. My hat is off to you, truly. I would ask that you be careful, because my message that a certain population of us can only recover through the growth and maintenance of a spiritual experience will not kill you. I get it, it pisses you off....the arrogance! The fellowships message that I can recover by doing anything but, will kill a guy like me.
You've been very clear. You seem to think the mantle of alcoholism is limited by your own narrow definition. Perhaps you did not read my previous posts closely - or even at all. I DO subscribe to a spiritual transformation - but I do not believe 'god' will/can keep me sober. I've got to do what I've got to do to remain vertically connected to my Oak Tree - which, if you knew anything at all about HP, you'd know that I CAN TOO HAVE AN OAK TREE FOR MY HP! So there, you pedantic thumper! Nyah!
I, in fact, canNOT do without this "thing" - I NEED my meetings to combat the isolation and craziness of my own head. I NEED my sponsor and literature to supplement my days with positive, life-affirming messages. YOU have made it plain that YOU've been "touched by an angel" and no longer suffer the problem of alcoholism. YOU ARE CURED! Good for you. Now kindly allow those of us who are striving for the kind of perfectionism you have achieved in peace.
And your use of "OUR" literature is offensive. The literature is for anyone WHO HAS A DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING. In fact, that's the only requirement for membership - or do you control that, too?
It's people like you who run off all the baby newcomers. You freak them out with your nuttiness.
btw - if your problem has been removed, why bother with meetings at all? To enlighten dumbfucks like me? You've got it all figured out. You should try to package and sell that stuff.
I find it rather insulting that anyone would minimize and dismiss the struggles that I (and Bri, I'm sure) go through to remain sober. It has taken an enormous amount of strength and willpower to remain sober.
To look down your nose at another person who has accepted their alcoholism and who is doing what they need to do in order to get/stay off the booze is incredibly offensive. Who are you to decide who is a "real alkie" and who is merely a heavy drinker who is confused and not currently drinking? Really? :eyebrow:
I am not religious. I do not believe in 'GOD" as some entity that oversees the universe. However, I am spiritual and I firmly believe that I can accomplish whatever I choose with my willpower and inner strength.
You have NO idea the things I've survived in my life. But I know that, since I managed to survive those things, that I can say no to the bottle and not pick it back up. If I want to badly enough. And so far, my will to live is winning over my desire to destroy myself.
Because every day, I find an excuse to drink. And every day, I remind myself of the reasons not to.
Right now, today, I've been sober for 3258 days.
Just wanted to give my support to you guys who are trying! I have family and friends who have problems but don't want the change (yet? I can always hope) so it felt really good in an odd way to hear your stories about trying to change or stop. I can't offer any advice since growing up with so many alcoholics has kept me from drugs/alcohol but I'm MORE than happy to offer support and thank yous' on behalf of your friends and families. I can't imagine how hard it must be, thank you for having the strength and courage to try in the first place.
Four this year alone, one suicide, one drunk driving fatality, two alcohol poisoning. The were meeting makers, sponsor callers and book readers. They all said, and hung with the crowd that said they could do this with out some kind of God, that they could just play the tape through and gut it out a day at a time. They spent a lot of time "working on themselves".
Four people died. And you didn't say "I could have helped find something more meaningful for them." You said "They fucked up by not finding the meaning that I did. I did my part... I told them they were not going to succeed without MY meaning."
And they failed, and now they are dead... and you take their deaths as proud proof you were right.
For your sake, I hope your God judges this situation differently than I have done.
I am very saddened, even a bit angry that four men and women that I've known this year have died of alcoholism. They died, in part, because they partook in a therapy for alcoholism that at best has a 10% recovery rate. They participated in this therapy in a fellowship that allows membership to just about anyone; which I think is amazing and would never want to change. While rejecting the core tenants and most of the practices of the same recovery program that the fellowship they are a member of espouses to and in fact was created by. A program that at best has a 60% recovery rate. If this makes me the bad guy in this whole thing, then I will take that.
I don't have the mantle of alcoholism, I'm just another drunk. I do know the differences between the messages that can be talked around our amazing fellowship. I have over 20 years of experience watching the effectiveness or lack there of, of the various and sundry practices found around the AA fellowship. We are given absolute freedom within the confines of the Third Tradition, and the Program is suggested. So, please..please, go to meetings, talk about your problems, read the literature, bring into your consciousness, when you need to, how bad that last drunk was. I sincerely hope this works for you, and if it does I am very happy for you indeed.
What if, Joe, what if you simply do not believe a God of any kind exists?
Dana, fortunately there are many other philosophies of life, therapies, and manners of living that don't require beliefe in and reliance upon some kind of God. Please remember that I do not advocate denying membership in the AA fellowship to anyone. Ever. I advocate telling the truth of what the AA Program is and how the AA program describes alcoholism which leads to the AA Programs solution to alcoholism, especially as it differs from the message found at large in the AA Fellowship.
Oh come on. Being a member of AA does not guarantee sobriety any more than NOT being a member of AA is guarantee of failure.
Who said that being a member of AA guarantees sobriety?
joe is just saying that HIS brand of sobriety works 100% and those foolish enough not to follow his good example, well...sometimes they die.
Keep coming back, joe.
I hope and pray that I do get to keep coming back Bri. I'd like to summarize a few things as I see them, at least this morning.
Bri did ask me "how do you stay sober?" I answered very honestly, by the response, I am thinking that you did not really want my honest answer. I cannot change the facts of my own life, my answer stands as it is today.
To repeat myself I'll quote from my past posts:
"If that works and continues to work for you, my hat is truly off. I really do think that is great."
"if going to meetings and participating in group therapy, talking with your sponsor, reading our literature, and finally thinking about the details of your last detox will keep you sober...I"M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU."
"please..please, go to meetings, talk about your problems, read the literature, bring into your consciousness, when you need to, how bad that last drunk was. I sincerely hope this works for you, and if it does I am very happy for you indeed."
I am at a loss on how to express in a different mannor my happiness that you are staying sober. That the method of your doing so differes from mine is of no consequence to me, other then as a source of honest discussion.
so, I've said my peace, I wish you and stormi both well. My sincerest appologies if I've offended you both. May God as you understand God bless and keep you both as you trudge the road of happy destiny. If I am as sick, narcissistic, and intolerant at you are suggiting I am then I can certainly use your prayers as well. I'll be taking a break from the thread for a while I hope to see you around the cellar at least.
Just in case you havent left yet, that wasn't the part people objected to, or found offensive. It was the bit where you claimed that someone who was able to say no to a drink without giving themselves over to God isn't really an alki. That was the bit. Where you diminished someone else's experience of alcoholism because they'd found something that works from within themselves.
I daresay it wasn't meant in anoffensive way. it was probably meant to be supportive. But that isn't what came across.
And you are bringing it up again because...? Just let it go.
Because I wanted joe to understand what had caused offence. Since he clearly didn't. As he said he was 'at a loss' how to better express his happiness that bri was staying sober. Just thought it worth letting him know that wasn't where the problem lay.
And what are you anyway? The thread police? :p
I think the message was received. I thought he was gracefully trying to convey that he was "happy" for them and he apologized. What more do you want from him?
Yes I'm the Dana thread police. I'll follow you everywhere just to make sure you're being naughty & not nice.
Honestly, I think the wrong message was received. And, yes, he was gracefully trying to convey exactly that and that's good. But he clearly didn't have a clue about what had sparked stuff off. In which case this whole thing must seem arbitrary and out the blue. And that's a shit way to leave it.
I picked up my third year chip last May. I don't go to as many meetings as I did three years ago, but I still go to meetings. I don't read the Big Book much because I find it out-dated and stilted. Good grief, they still hang on to that chapter called "To Wives." Give me a break. AA started out as very much of an old boys' club. Bill Wilson was a stock broker and Dr. Bob was - well, a doctor. Some meetings in the early days wouldn't even allow a female alcoholic through the door. One woman writes about standing in the hall outside of the meeting trying to hear what was going on.
Some people treat that damn Big Book as if it were directly dictated to Bill W. by god. It's simply a book written back in the 30's about the experiences of a hundred or so people trying to stay sober. The Big Book does have some good stuff in it if you disregard some of its more egregious passages. The fellowship of AA keeps me sober more than anything else. That and the knowledge that alcohol no longer works for me and will never work for me again. The memory of the hell of my last 2 years of drinking will never leave my mind. Not ever. Those awful memories keep me sober as well.
I don't have a personal "Higher Power" who keeps me sober. If someone else does, good on them. Alcoholism (and other addictions) is an extremely pernicious condition. Alcoholics are far more likely to die rather than recover, and many times relapse seems to be an almost random event. I've seen people who did everything by the book go out for no apparent reason and end up killing themselves. Other people seem like completely hopeless cases, never go to AA or treatment, never "get religion," but still sober up and stay that way for the rest of their lives. But people in this last catagory are still as sick as any other alcoholic.
No one absolutely no one deserves to become an alcoholic and they especially don't deserve to die of alcoholism. I have seen my share of good people give it their best effort and still fail. I never critisize them because there but for the grace of whatever go I.
Sam I agree with all of the above. A LOT of people treat the BB as though it were directly from God's mouth to Bill's ear. Well, Bill W. had a LOT of problems. Nobody's perfect. AA was started by two rich white guys whose wives stood by them thru it all - all the ugliness and all the nuttiness at the beginning of AA. Bill opened his (and her) home to alkies trying to get sober and one of them commited suicide in their bathroom...I wonder how Lois felt about THAT and who cleaned it up? (Lois, perhaps?)
I didn't need my ego broken down when I got to AA. It already WAS broken down. I needed building UP. Old Timers don't get that. and the chapter "To Wives" - ? ugh. don't get me started.
AA does a lot of good. It's not for everybody and it certainly could drag itself into the 21st century.
Bri. I just happened upon
this article & thought of you.
That was interesting. We all draw our own lines. I'm growing a new Kombucha mother on the counter right now...
I fukced up again. I binged. Only three days this time and quit on wednes. but brain/typing co ordination is off off off to the point of annoying to type.
yeah. I fucked up. isn't that grand? maybe If I was all big Bookie I would be fucking cured.
Oh hugs Bri! Big hugs. You quit on Wednesday, that's the most important thing.
Sorry Bri. Hang in there.
So what made you stop the binge? I don't have any personal experience there, so I'm wondering how that works. Do you just feel so crappy you stop? Seems like it would be so easy to keep going for a while.
I'm glad you found a way to stop. We still love you here.
thanks, all.
Glatt - I stopped b/c I ran out of money AND I felt like shite and I knew it would only get worse and worse and I am sick of going to the very compassionate doc that I have (and he really is a good one) and letting him down AGAIN. So, lots of things there. BIggest reason, though, to be honest? no money. I"d probably still be drinking. My sister said the binges are getting shorter. I have changed some stuff about my drinking = and I still go to meetings and die for a cup of hope. thanks for caring you all. It helps to know I can come here and admit my faults and move on. and you don't hate me or shun me for it. thank you.
Do you think the extended family time played a role in triggering it? I'm glad you pulled yourself out again, nevermind whether it was for lack of money or bootstraps or whatever the reason. We do love you and will be here.
Do you think the extended family time played a role in triggering it? I'm glad you pulled yourself out again, nevermind whether it was for lack of money or bootstraps or whatever the reason. We do love you and will be here.
thank you. Now I'm tearing up!
I think being in constant contact with my mom and dad for the past month or so has def. played it's part but ultimately I am the one who is responsible. I did it. I drank it. No one held a gun to my head (except myself maybe). My mom must call me 20-40 times a day and my dad hates me so much he's betting he outlives me. Not a great atmosphere. I"ve asked the sisters to help - one of them is now among the unemployed so she's available, but they just won't help out for whatever reason.
I hate feeling this way.
You guys make it better. After the meeting I hope I'll feel more like "me" than I do now.
Oh, now, don't cry! But Clod's suggestion can perhaps be helpful if it makes you more aware that that is a risk factor ... Hoping you feel better soon x
((((((((((Bri))))))))))
The important thing is, you stopped. Hang in there!
Do you think the extended family time played a role in triggering it? I'm glad you pulled yourself out again, nevermind whether it was for lack of money or bootstraps or whatever the reason. We do love you and will be here.
That would do it for me!
Why is family such a horrendously hurtful force for some of us? Im glad it was a shorter episode for you Bri. You prolly went thru a mega amount of emotional stress.
I"ve asked the sisters to help - one of them is now among the unemployed so she's available, but they just won't help out for whatever reason.
When my ex quit she didn't see/talk/communicate with her parents for almost a year.
No B-days, holidays ... ZERO.
She credits that with her continued sobriety. Her parents were fucked up too. Manipulative beyond belief.
Maybe your sisters have issues with them as well and thats why they don't help you. They are too busy helping themselves stay out of the trap you are in. Hang in there.
(talking out my ass here)
No - not talking out your ass. It's really closer to the truth. THEY have escaped the vortex that is J&J (my 'rents). One is their "good girl" favorite who always, always did everything right (and I love her very much; she's my huge support person and i love her) and the other smokes so much weed she qualifies for Jamaican citizenship and just doesn't give a care.**
**'splain "so much weed" - when I was with her up in Maine she lit up about every twenty minutes. That's a lot of weed smokin' right there.
No - not talking out your ass. It's really closer to the truth. THEY have escaped the vortex that is J&J (my 'rents). One is their "good girl" favorite who always, always did everything right (and I love her very much; she's my huge support person and i love her) and the other smokes so much weed she qualifies for Jamaican citizenship and just doesn't give a care.**
**'splain "so much weed" - when I was with her up in Maine she lit up about every twenty minutes. That's a lot of weed smokin' right there.
Sounds like your sisters haven't really 'escaped' the family situation - more like they're using their own coping mechanisms that aren't necessarily healthy. Sometimes the only way to recover from longstanding toxic patterns is to take some time and space for yourself and only reconnect when it's possible to do so in a way that doesn't set you up for hurt.
{{{{{{{Bri}}}}}}} .... hope you're doing better today. Lots of support and good thoughts coming your way. Take care of yourself today - and tomorrow - one day at a time. :hug:
I hadn't realized we left this thread for so long. I checked Phagebook this morning to find a lot of drunk pics of my family. I'm watching my attitude cuz everybody has to live his own life. As far as living mine, I haven't had the itch in a while. I feel maybe normal.
Normal is good. Congrats on normal. :)
I did have stress this week, a terrible kindergarten team showing up for a CPSE/CSE meeting, but I compartmentalized it.
I remembered how I found this thread so helpful at one time and felt it important to record this day here and to thank the others who have contributed in the past.
As of this moment I gave been 2000 days without alcohol.
http://www.timeanddate.com/date/durationresult.html?m1=06&d1=13&y1=2009&m2=12&d2=03&y2=2014&ti=on
172,800,000 seconds
2,880,000 minutes
48,000 hours
2000 days
285 weeks and 5 days
5 years, 5 months, 21 days
Congratulations, Rhianne!
Well done! Keep up the good work!
Wow.
[ATTACH]49731[/ATTACH]
Well done!
Sent by thought transference
I've been alcohol free for almost ten hours. Straight.
Come to think of it, I'm prolly not alcohol-free quite yet.
july 28th, 2015. 33 days today and counting, funny thing is that I have not drank for this long since I was on my hiatus from society. The difference this time (from when I got out)? Knowing and admitting step 1 and wanting to quit, and not being ordered by the state to go to AA or similar program. I have way too much on the line now, they were always there before, but they were hiding behind the heineken curtain.
The rewards are numerous! improved marriage, improved relationship with my son, better sleep, no hangovers, better health (except for smoking, started smoking more), endless supply of ice cream :p:, in the process of getting my medical back so I can fly when I want to, jet training, job flying several models of jets that are covered by the type rating I will eventually obtain (about 6 months to a year or so), and so on and so on....list is pretty long :D !
Excellent, a big change, but huge bennies. :thumb:
It's only a day at a time, not *that* big. amirite? totally doable.
very doable. the first week was the toughest. i am, however, consuming large amounts of ice cream!! (and not gaining any weight!! :p:)
seriously though, sweets have been a lifesaver doing this. the first two weeks i think i ate a box of skorz bars and 2 gallons of ice cream lol! and yeah, it's a big change but the bennies are worth it!
Thailand government campaign.
[YOUTUBEWIDE]_Kmh4BbJPz8[/YOUTUBEWIDE]
hell that ad was so bad it almost made me drink lol!!! (j/k!)
CC Sabathia is going to try to climb on the wagon. Good luck to
him.He must have done something REALLY REALLY bad to walk away the day before the playoffs.
90 days today boys n girls!
what a ride it's been. in the past 90 days i've:
1. started sleeping better
2. smoking more (layoff! one thing at a time ;))
3. began my pilgrimage to get my medical back from the FAA due to 2 DWI's
4. after 13 months of being "demoted" from inside contractor to outside contractor from the office to being called BACK into the office not only as an inside contractor once again but this time lead designer AND project manager on two separate client jobs, one of which has roughly 12-16 sites
5. eating TONS of ice cream and NOT gaining a pound (my wife hates me for this :p:
6. due to #5 will be able to easily save for my Cessna Citation CE-500 rating once #4 is completed (barring any rating suspensions the gubmint might enforce (ie. no new ratings for you for the next 6 months or lyear). by obtaining the CE-500 type rating is good for the Citation 500, 501, 550, 551 & 560. Cessna uses the names: Citation, Citation SP, V, Ultra, Encore & Bravo.
7. learned to see things a whole lot different, in a better way.
8. last but certainly not least, my mother in law passed away just this last wednesday all while trying to get accustomed to being back in the office. where my wife and i work, if you don't work you don't get paid. I would get off work on monday & tuesday evening and go over to nana's and help out where help was needed then wednesday she called right when nana passed and i was there almost as fast. she passed gracefully and peacefully with friends and family around. you sure couldn't ask for more, not in this situation, anyway. point is though with #8 here is rather than do what me and my wife would have done (she has quit drinking right along side me) which would have been to go get drunk, we faced (and are facing) the issues that come along with this ultimate fact of life with clarity and pretty much knowing what to do next and if we don't, ask. make sense? we just arrived home about an hour ago from austin where Nana was laid to rest next to her loving husband of 28 years who passed back in the 80's.
it feels great to not have to deal with the crap that constant over indulgence of alcohol on a regular basis creates.
Good for you, Fred! It helps to have a supportive partner.
Good job, philthy and wife. So sorry for your loss. :hug:
it feels great to not have to deal with the crap that constant over indulgence of alcohol on a regular basis creates.
Makes dealing with the rest of the crap life throws at you less complicated too. Having a supportive partner is a big help and I agree with Mrs Fred on the ice cream :p:
Congrats bro. Very happy for BOTH of you. Lets catch up later this week.
thanks all, i'm doing my best and shall continue to do so! had a HUGE bomb dropped on me today as well. my sister and i haven't been all that close due to my drinking and the hiatus from society didn't help either but when i told her that today i picked up my 90 day chip, she informed me that i am an uncle and that she hadn't told me about this due to my drinking. i'm still floored! i don't know too much at this point other than that he is 4 years old but i will be finding out more details soon.
btw, this isn't something i have mentioned on the bacefook site and i will at some point but for now, i'm keeping it under wraps.
Wow. That must've blown your mind.
Wow. That's big news. Congratulations on the 90 days.
So much going on for you - congrats and condolences Fred, very glad to hear of the 90 days and the new family connections.
Good stuff Uncle hijinx...
coming up on month 7 with no problems, this has been much easier for me than I ever thought possible.
Most of you, if not all, know that I'm a pilot and hold a commercial certificate and that due to my drinking the FAA revoked my medical a few years ago because of it. Well, I've been jumping through the various proverbial "hoops" as directed by the FAA to re-acquire my second class medical.
One of the hoops was to undergo a substance abuse neuropsychological evaluation performed by a Human Intervention Motivation Study (HIMS) neuropsychologist. I took, and passed, the test on Feb. 4th which took all day and was very mentally intense as well as costing me a small fortune in cash, no credit cards or insurance accepted. Here is an excerpt from the conclusion of the doctors evaluation: "Given the fact that I fortunately saw no signs of aeromedically significant cognitive impairment on testing, I can recommend that Mr. Scheid be granted a Special Issuance in order to return to active flight status at this time."
next step is to open my mailbox and see a letter from the FAA with my medical inside. I'm sure it will only be valid for 6 months at a time for the next 2 years, but at least I can fly unrestricted once again and also for hire :D
That's great news. :celebrat:
Great job taking care of business.
Waaay better than a beer!
WTG PLT!
Thanks Y'all, this is a HUGE weight off of my shoulders as I've been stressing over it for quite some time now.
Love ya philthy! I'm very happy for you. Keep doing the good work. :)
Month 8 is now in the books.
Brilliant philthy! X
Sent by thought transference
Good work, keep grinding.
thanks y'all! it's been a rough road but not as rough as it could have been. for the flying aspects of what i'm going through, i'm documenting that over in another forum for just in case someone else out there is in (or potentially could be in) my situation. only person i knew prior to what i've experienced so far in the FAA HIMS program was Bobby, and well, can't really talk to him about it now. then again, he didn't have to go through all i have to go through since his HIMS program wasn't for commercial pilots (more involved/scrutinized) but private.
Glad to hear things are going well for you, Philthy!
Sounds like you are doing great. Keep us posted
Here's an irony for all y'all; I'm not even supposed to be here. Not this thread specifically, nor the cellar, but the internet.
My use of the web has moved well past the unhealthy distraction phase to deeply in addiction territory. I don't mean cutesy 'addiction' like "OMG I'm addicted to mocha frappucinos" but capital A Addiction like, missing appointments because I was online, or being late for meetings, or spacing out my kid's award ceremony, not writing cover letters, letting everything lapse because I want to see what the next link will bring.
Ironically, again, the only 12 step meetings for internet or screen addiction are online...
I'm considering getting rid of my computer and only accessing the internet when necessary, at the library.
I'm going to look for another 12 step meeting around here that may be semi-relevant.
I've known I've had a TV addiction since I was about 18 and have not owned a TV in all that time. The few times I lived with housemates who've had TVs I would be up until 4, eyes bloodshot and crusty, exhausted before I finally caved in an went to bed, where I would have an experience that was almost like having the bedspins and I would wake up hungover.
Where I can set limits with booze and I think gambling is the stupidest fucking thing ever, I have never been able to moderate my consumption of this.
Just thought I'd share. Thanks
If you have an addictive personality, you may wind up replacing it with something else. What would that be, most likely?
If you don't have an addictive personality, I recommend tapering off.
There are programs that help with this. Not programs. I'm talking about programs. Apps.
I would like you to drop the Cellar last, because I love you here man.
I knew a girl I swear was addicted to 12 step programs, seriously.
If you have an addictive personality, you may wind up replacing it with something else. What would that be, most likely?
If you don't have an addictive personality, I recommend tapering off.
There are programs that help with this. Not programs. I'm talking about programs. Apps.
I would like you to drop the Cellar last, because I love you here man.
Thanks, UT. I feel the same way. I've been thinking about installing something like K9 on my computer.
As for addictions, I've really only had a problem with screens. For whatever reason none of the other activities, substances, etc have stuck with me.
I have two woodworking gigs lined up that should keep me busy and employed for a few months. I'm hoping the break in my lifestyle (read not isolating, ruminating, but earning money and socializing and getting outside) may serve to change things up. My brain-tightener points out that it is mainly functioning as an escape from my own thoughts (me paraphrasing) That is true.
When the shorties are here it is a lot easier for me to keep things relatively speaking, under control. 90% of the time I'm going to bed when they do and getting up early.
I'd be grateful if you'd let me know what sort of apps you are thinking of, and leaving the cellar is the last thing I want to do. ;) <-- Bruce gets the joke.
And yes, Bruce I have seen people addicted to 12 step meetings. I've been to a few and I dislike the kumbaya aspect that a lot of them have acquired with their cutesy "it works if you work it so keep on working it" chant. Among other things.
I don't know but I've heard of programs that shut off your Internet at a certain time, or only allow you so many hours of it, or block certain sites, etc.
Maybe this, although it's aimed at parents:
http://www.surfblocker.com/Hey footfootfoot,
First step recognizing the problem, check.
Docking soon, must hurry.
A sponsor of sorts. Someone to check in with, to be accountable with.
Also, there are definitely ways to programmatically control the access to the Internet using a given connection. I do that for a living.
Disembarking. TTYL.
10 months today, celebrated by smoking my first whole ribeye and wow, melt in your mouth wonderful!
I wasn't exactly sure where to plop this vid but since I was only able to do this because I sobered up, I figured that right here would be appropriate.
I was finally issued a medical certificate, albeit with limitations, on 6/9/16. Long story short of it is I applied for a 1st class medical (commercial pilots need a 1st or a 2nd) and they issued me a 3rd class medical (for private pilots) from Oklahoma City where the application was sent initially so I can fly while my 1st class is being reviewed in Washington D.C. which should take another 45 days or so at the time of issuance of the 3rd class.
with the 3rd class medical in hand I was able to finally take my training flight to become a Second In Command (SIC) or first officer on the Cessna Citation CE-500 series aircraft. Below is a video excerpt of the flight. We did 2 landings in Galveston with the 3rd in north houston, kdwh, where we left the plane for avionics maintenance.
kind of long but this is my first flight taking off and landing a jet (i've flown this plane and another like it before just never this involved)
[YOUTUBE]aHP3HFJk4d8[/YOUTUBE]
Good shots, Cap'n. :thumb:
Look. Up in the sky.
It's bird.
It's a plane.
It's Philthy!!!!
Thanks y'all, quite the milestone!
in about 45 minutes i will be 11 months sober. I honestly did not think I could do this.
Also this weekend is my first trip flying the jet and the destination is.......Aspen :cool: :D
Proud of you buddy. Glad to see your hard work paying off.
thanks guys!
now check this out - when I got sober I did not go to rehab, I just quit with the help of meetings and LOTS of ice cream. 11 months later I find out that I have to go to rehab if I want to get my 2nd or 1st class medical.
I don't mind going, i'm sure I will benefit from it in some way, but 11 months later? there's a damn good chance that insurance won't cover this because I've already been sober for so long and the cost is going to be roughly 5 grand over the course of a 6 week IOP program where basically I go to work then go to IOP for 3 hours a night, go home and sleep. next day - wash, rinse & repeat 4 days a week. The treatment center I have in mind does have a payment plan and I will do my best to get in next week - it's just the cost. I've shelled out, in cash mind you, 8500 bucks since February/early march. At some point you have to start wondering when is enough actually enough?
Not sure I completely understand this but it is what it is. The government has their checklist and if you have not done one of those items to check off, you have to or else all is for naught.
Bummer. How does insurance know how long you've been sober? Isn't rehab the kind of thing that a doctor refers you to, and the rest of the details are between you and the doc?
Bummer. How does insurance know how long you've been sober? Isn't rehab the kind of thing that a doctor refers you to, and the rest of the details are between you and the doc?
To be honest, I have no idea. My sobriety is well documented with both my doctor and the FAA - so as far as the "anonymous" in alcoholics anonymous goes, not so much. The woman that I'm supposed to talk to Tuesday morning will be able to shed more light on this as I have no clue as to what is going on. All I know is that I'm to plan on paying about 5.5k for treatment.
But this makes it all worth it, my first night flight in about 10 years and it's my first time landing a jet at night - landing could have been much better but considering the circumstances, not too bad :)
[YOUTUBE]17VoK1HFYfk[/YOUTUBE]
Yeh, so you haven't flown in a decade and decided that a nighttime landing was a good idea for your first ... gotta love it, ya sick bastard. Congrats.
Yeh, so you haven't flown in a decade and decided that a nighttime landing was a good idea for your first ... gotta love it, ya sick bastard. Congrats.
lol! i've flown, just not flown at night in a decade. It's like riding a bike though, a little rusty, just knocking off the dust.
still lurking :)
18 months sober today :D It wasn't easy at first, but getting my life back, and the improvements that I've made to it, have been well worth the effort!
Bravo plt!
You have accomplished so much, your efforts are really paying off. Congratualtions. 18 months is great, but really, it's still just one day at a time, eh?
Good work.
Bravo plt!
You have accomplished so much, your efforts are really paying off. Congratualtions. 18 months is great, but really, it's still just one day at a time, eh?
Good work.
Thank you! yes, as much as I don't care for the saying, it is one day at a time.
However, in those "one days at a time" I've:
saved my marriage
been called back into working at the office where before I'd been exiled to working at home
reacquired my medical so now I get paid to fly again
obtained a jet type rating (second in command but have to start at the bottom of that ladder just like my recovery program)
my wife and I are closing on a new house either late next week or the start of the next. I haven't owned a home since my other one was foreclosed on when I went on my hiatus from society last decade
found out what serenity really means
am a much better person now than I ever was before and look forward to maintaining/improving on this every day that I possibly can
Forgive me for my failing memory, but is this the wife that put you on your societal hiatus? Or a more recent one?
Forgive me for my failing memory, but is this the wife that put you on your societal hiatus? Or a more recent one?
A more recent one, I believe.
Sent by magic.
Forgive me for my failing memory, but is this the wife that put you on your societal hiatus? Or a more recent one?
A more recent one, I believe.
Sent by magic.
oh yes, much more recent. I met Mrs. Plt at the engineering firm I presently work for, we'd started dating about a year and a half after I started working there back in Nov. '11.
I would never ever go back to someone that crazy. It took me a very very long time to come to terms with what that woman did to me (and coming to terms with me for allowing that debacle to happen) but to be honest it was my sobering up that helped with this.
Quite hard for me to explain, but what I'd gone through was my personal version of hell on earth and I'm happy to be free from it.
I can vouch for that, having met the Crazy Bitch.
I can vouch for that, having met the Crazy Bitch.
Yep, you and NBN were the only ones that had the pleasure of meeting her irl. Zip had the pleasure of talking to her on the phone.
I honestly hope she has changed her ways and has sought/received the help she needed - batshit fucking crazy doesn't come close to a description of her back then :facepalm:
I ... I ... ugghh I saw/heard enough. PLEASE don't bring it up. It was painful for me, I can't even imagine what its like on your end.
A year without smoking) I am happy)
A year without smoking) I am happy)
that's awesome!! congrats! one feat I have not attempted yet but plan to, one of these days
By careful calculation and thoughtful choice, I am no longer on a particular wagon and I'm OK with it.
I think its been helping.
I have some big news coming in ten days time!
Well, not so big really, but I thought it strange that the first thing I thought of when I realised what date was approaching was this old thread!
The 13th of June 2009 was the last time I had an alcoholic drink.
The 13th of June 2009 was the last time I had an alcoholic drink.
Ten years! Well done!
!0 years without is quite an achievement for an alcoholic.
You're still an alcoholic and always will be, according to the AA members I've talked to. Right?
I'm sure that for some folk AA is the greatest organisation ever but it's really not for me. Ten seconds at their website had me cringing.
I definitely don't think of myself as an alcoholic. I don't think about the stuff, never feel like I need it and certainly never crave it. I'm happy sitting with people who are drinking without ever feeling like I'm missing out. I don't feel like I'm having to 'control' myself - I'm just not a drinker anymore.
That said, who knows what I would be like if I actually tried a drink. I'm as certain as I can be that I could have a glass of wine or a beer without it being a problem but for the moment at least that doesn't seem like a risk worth taking.
I'm sure that for some folk AA is the greatest organisation ever but it's really not for me. Ten seconds at their website had me cringing.
I've never been to their site, only know their dogma from hearing it repeatedly from people I've worked with over the years. I accepted their word for it as it didn't affect me either way.
I suppose like everything else, it won't work for everyone, but I'm glad you found what worked for you.
Puking all over the Bar is what did it for me, I get violently ill when i get drunk. I've been sober for 41 years, and I never did AA.