Dear __________ letters
Examples:
Dear elderly people:
Thanks for retiring to Florida thus making the roads in the other states safer.
~~Other 49 states
Dear Other 49 states:
Please stop sending your old people down here. We're full up.
~~Florida
Dear Florida:
If we up and leave, you'll be nothing but a bunch of ghost towns and a Disney park.
Signed,
Old People
Dear elderly and their parents:
We've changed the locks on the doors. Don't come back.
~~Other 49 states
Dear other 49 states:
We've changed our wills and when we die you get NOTHING!!! MUAHAHAHAAH!!! Cough...cough!!!
Sincerely,
The elderly
Dear elderly:
Please, please, please don't leave Florida.
Signed,
Sunshine State Armpit-Pant Megastore Emporium
[SIZE="1"]
Note: your letter doesn't
have to riff off the previous letter, but bonus points if it does.[/SIZE]
Dear Sunshine State Armpit-Pant Megastore Emporium,
Can we please have the top 6 inches of our trousers back? Our butts are getting cold.
Gangsta Clothing Warehouse.
Dear Cellar,
I'm not sorry about your finger
Love
Dan
Dear Cellar,
Don't forget to . . .
[COLOR="White"]EAD[/COLOR]
Love,
LJ
Dear LJ,
Get that thing out of your mouth.
respectfully,
Teh Cellah
Dear Religious People,
Kindly keep your religion out of MY government unless you want me to start legislating who you get to worship and how you may do so.
Sincerely,
American Patriots
Dear American Patriots,
I'm pretty sure thats your plan already.
Religious People
(this is supposed to be a back and forth right?)
(this is supposed to be a back and forth right?)
Doesn't have to be. Whatever you like.
Dear Bill:
North Korea was fine, but you do NOT need to go to Argentina. OR hiking on the Appalachian Trail.
Signed,
Hillary
Dear teenagers,
please pull your fucking pants up.Or, if you must wear them like that, then at least make your underpants interesting and/or attractive.
the rest of us
Deer oldiez
iz like da fashun u no ur 2 old 2 undestand its not fare an i need a new iphone
Knysha, Rebel n D'art-Onion
Dear kids
get off my lawn and get a job. And a spell checker.
the rest of us
Dear Religious People,
I could care less if you worship a potato, just don't put your potato worship in my government and stop trying to hide your bigotry behind your religion. You have no more right to prevent gay people from marrying than gay people have to force you to have an abortion in an effort to stop your stupidity from spreading.
Sincerely,
American Patriots
Dear Deer,
something something something
love,
Your mamma
Dear Top Management,
Stop making 85% of all problems.
Thanks,
The American Economy
Dear American Economy
you simply don't understand big business and that is why we are paid gesquillions and you are not.
Your invoice for this response is enclosed. We are delighted to announce that we are currently running a Buy-one-get-one-free Sale on responses, and all production will grind to a halt until you submit your next letter to us and claim your free response.
pp Top Management
Dear Brits in Ann Arbor,
Sorry, I just bought all the Heinz Beans from Hiller's. No, I'm not sharing. The crumpets were yummy too -I left you some of those.
monster
Dear Radar,
(CC: Classicman)
I think this is supposed to be a humour thread.
Thanks,
Humour Fascist
Dear Humor Fascist,
(CC: Classicman)
I know the Constitution and I have a Constitutional right to be humorless.
Thanks,
Radar
Dear Public Defendant,
:lol:
Only in the privacy of your own home. This internet is like working at Disneyland. Smile or you're fired.
Il Duce
Dear Americans
We can see why there is no U in your humour
:p
Rest of the English-speaking world
Dear Eagles,
Thank you for going for it on 4th and inches with the game on the line.
Tony
Dear Monster,
:lol: nice work!
Zen