monster • Oct 26, 2009 9:27 pm
This is a continuation of the other thread but I really needed a fresh start because -no offence intended- that had become a little maudlin and about losing the fight and this is my place for letting off steam about my friend's fight and I very much don't want to think about the death possibility even though of course it's always there in the back of my mind.....
Anyhoo. It's been praying on my mind today because she had her first post-surgery visit with her oncologist. We were all apprehensive because the pathogy on the removed lymph nodes showed cancer in 7 of them. Post-chemo. This would sound scary anyway, but when the surgeon's right-hand-bitch-with-absolutely-no-fucking-people-skillz called the day after the surgery she said "we found cancer in 7 nodes, but don't jump ship yet" WTF is that supposed to mean if not "you're fucked, panic now"?
I emailed my friend this evening and she said
"Today was not the horror show I feared it was going to be. The radiologist actually never showed up--after 2 1/2 hours!--but we got to spend an hour with the chemo dr and ask a million questions about the pathology report. it's a big blah blah fest all the info I have running around in my head that I could relate...so I'll just tell you when we walk tomorrow"
So I'm still not a whole lot wiser but it sounds like they feel there is still light at the end of the tunnel -and not the type you have to "go towards" ;), even if it might be a long and bumpy passage.
I hate it though.
On the plus side, she's 3 weeks post surgery, 6 weeks post-chemo, has about 1cm of hair, is able to do yoga and our walking pace and distance is increasing every day. Also she can drive a little.
This is her first week without her doula -now I feel I need to explain that one! Apparently some doulas don't just work with pregnant/postpartum women. This one came every day the first week, every other day the two weeks after that, and help her with the dressings and the drains, but also with showering, getting dressed, gentle massage, light household chores and general reassurance about all stuff medical that she felt not important enough to ask the doctors about. If you are reading this because you are or know someone getting a mastectomy and you can afford it, get a doula. If that is not financially possible, this is the type of help to ask your best friend and your network of supporters for (particularly if any of them have medical backgrounds). Meals are nice. loading the dishwasher is also nice and loading the washing machine is essential. Sure, BC sufferers can ask their family to do this, but I think it's helping my friend's kids that they don't have a shitload of extra chores on top of dealing with the "mommy may die" stuff, and it's certainly helping her that she doesn't have to fight with them/nag them about it..
Anyhoo. It's been praying on my mind today because she had her first post-surgery visit with her oncologist. We were all apprehensive because the pathogy on the removed lymph nodes showed cancer in 7 of them. Post-chemo. This would sound scary anyway, but when the surgeon's right-hand-bitch-with-absolutely-no-fucking-people-skillz called the day after the surgery she said "we found cancer in 7 nodes, but don't jump ship yet" WTF is that supposed to mean if not "you're fucked, panic now"?
I emailed my friend this evening and she said
"Today was not the horror show I feared it was going to be. The radiologist actually never showed up--after 2 1/2 hours!--but we got to spend an hour with the chemo dr and ask a million questions about the pathology report. it's a big blah blah fest all the info I have running around in my head that I could relate...so I'll just tell you when we walk tomorrow"
So I'm still not a whole lot wiser but it sounds like they feel there is still light at the end of the tunnel -and not the type you have to "go towards" ;), even if it might be a long and bumpy passage.
I hate it though.
On the plus side, she's 3 weeks post surgery, 6 weeks post-chemo, has about 1cm of hair, is able to do yoga and our walking pace and distance is increasing every day. Also she can drive a little.
This is her first week without her doula -now I feel I need to explain that one! Apparently some doulas don't just work with pregnant/postpartum women. This one came every day the first week, every other day the two weeks after that, and help her with the dressings and the drains, but also with showering, getting dressed, gentle massage, light household chores and general reassurance about all stuff medical that she felt not important enough to ask the doctors about. If you are reading this because you are or know someone getting a mastectomy and you can afford it, get a doula. If that is not financially possible, this is the type of help to ask your best friend and your network of supporters for (particularly if any of them have medical backgrounds). Meals are nice. loading the dishwasher is also nice and loading the washing machine is essential. Sure, BC sufferers can ask their family to do this, but I think it's helping my friend's kids that they don't have a shitload of extra chores on top of dealing with the "mommy may die" stuff, and it's certainly helping her that she doesn't have to fight with them/nag them about it..