May 11, 2009: Limbless Masseur/Masseuse

xoxoxoBruce • May 10, 2009 11:24 pm
Limbless? Then they must use their bodies, right? That's right.

A masseuse in Israel who has discovered that some people will pay top dollar ($80) to have snakes slither across their backs and faces. Turns out that king snakes and corn snakes deliver a nice kneading sensation when they get their slither on.


Image

Ada Barak figured out several years ago that heavy king and corn snakes produce a relaxing kneading sensation. For years, she's been entertaining guests at her farm where she cultivates rodent-eating carnivorous plants. Strangely, she found a sideline that's even more bizarre.


I suppose this would cut down the undercover cops snooping around. ;)

link Via
zippyt • May 11, 2009 12:11 am
I would have to be Drugged to put up with that !!!!
SteveDallas • May 11, 2009 12:29 am
I remember on Bullshit, the show Penn & Teller did for a while, one of the early episodes was bogus medicine. In one segment they had a doctor-looking guy in a white lab coat out at a mall explaining to people about the newly-found benefits of snail slime. They showed a woman with a snail crawling over her face... "Oh, wow, Doctor, I can feel it exfoliating my pores!!" or some crap like that.
SPUCK • May 11, 2009 5:08 am
Discussion overheard at a snake parlor:

"OK, all the snakes are on.."
"All the snakes?"
"Well, yeah, you said all those snakes."
"YOU IDIOT! Not the Black Mamba!"
.
.
"Ah lady please lie very still"
"OW! I just got bit.."


________________________
Guess the lady pictured doesn't mind salmonellae smeared all over her face..
spudcon • May 11, 2009 5:09 am
What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?
The Teapot • May 11, 2009 6:51 am
Profesionalism mainly.
DanaC • May 11, 2009 7:32 am
The Teapot;564676 wrote:
Profesionalism mainly.




lol fuck you teapot, I just lost a mouthful of coffee.
Trilby • May 11, 2009 8:08 am
Um.





No.
ZenGum • May 11, 2009 8:22 am
spudcon;564670 wrote:
What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?


Well, that's why they smear the ratburger on the patient's body. It's either that or pheromones, take your pick.
capnhowdy • May 11, 2009 8:24 am
I, too, will pass.
morethanpretty • May 11, 2009 10:11 am
I will hold a snake, I will not let it crawl over me, especially if I'm naked. Snakes like to get into crannies, and nooks...
jinx • May 11, 2009 10:29 am
Jim and I used to have a corn snake. His name was Slim... he got out of his cage and was never seen again. I wonder if he went to the big city and got a job in a massage parlor?

eta: I want a rodent-eating carnivorous plant. Bad.
Shawnee123 • May 11, 2009 10:34 am
Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner.

It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it.

;)
spudcon • May 11, 2009 12:12 pm
I heard he went to work in the SlimJim factory.
glatt • May 11, 2009 12:16 pm
When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"
Sheldonrs • May 11, 2009 12:21 pm
"Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?"

Of course, the picture only shows the slow, relaxing massage.
If you're in a hurry, they also set a mongoose on your ass.
The Teapot • May 11, 2009 3:54 pm
DanaC;564679 wrote:
lol fuck you teapot, I just lost a mouthful of coffee.


:p
Gravdigr • May 11, 2009 6:03 pm
glatt;564794 wrote:
When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"

Don't matter he won't come to you anyhow.
TheMercenary • May 11, 2009 7:58 pm
glatt;564794 wrote:
When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"
First base?
hipshot • May 12, 2009 1:20 am
Shawnee123;564737 wrote:
Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner.

It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it.

;)



How'd he hitchhike? :thumb:
ZenGum • May 12, 2009 2:04 am
Well, he'd look the driver over carefully and check the door opened from the inside, and if he still felt comfortable, he'd get in. Duh :p
capnhowdy • May 12, 2009 7:36 am
Actually he posed as a trouser snake, thus boarding as a parasite.