What's mildly amusing you today?
My back yard neighbor has generally been rude to me. Today the lawn service came after 7 days straight rain, and mowed his lawn with a big heavy tractor with big bubble tires on the back.
Haha, if they play football on it they don't have to draw any lines :lol:
My lawn is a mess, but it's a marsh out there and I'm waiting until it dries to cut it.
Ouch! :cool:
Mine is horribly overgrown, only 10 days from the last mowing (and first of the season). But yeah, nothing doing till it dries out. (I'm hearing thunder outside my window as I type this . . . )
I planted grass seed in several large dead spots on our lawn, and all this rain has been absolutely wonderful. I haven't had to water virtually at all, and the new grass is already thick and lush. It's so freakin' GREEN here.
i mowed yesterday morning in the 4 hours of not rain we had.
HA HA! Stupid neighbor!
The woman living next to me is a complete nut job; she spent two SOLID years building and re-vamping her house (question: if she had to do so much to the house, why'd she buy it just couple years ago? would have been easier to find a more suitable house than to do what she's done). Takes a lot of money to look that cheap, ya know?
HA!
(This is the woman who put a camera on my house---that complete NUTTER)
given all that, UT, looks like you live in a pretty swanky neighborhood!
How funny Brianna...just not too long ago after our neighbors were annoying us, I thought to myself "at least they don't have a camera on our house like Bri had. I wonder what ever happened with all that?."
What ever happened with all that?
How funny Brianna...just not too long ago after our neighbors were annoying us, I thought to myself "at least they don't have a camera on our house like Bri had. I wonder what ever happened with all that?."
What ever happened with all that?
:) I told my ex husband about it. He said he was going to go over there and ask her why she had a camera on our teen-aged son. She took it down toot-sweet. Dumb cow.
she's rude, a rumor-monger, stirs the pot every chance she gets, accused one neighbor of
pulling a gun on her (didn't happen) and another neighbors dog "killed" her cat - again, the dog did nothing. Her cat is fine. She makes shit UP. I have to keep telling myself that she's mentally ill so I don't just go over there and punch her nose in.
The thing that's mildly amusing me RFN is listening to Max farting. Seriously, that kid could fart for Australia if he keeps it up. It doesn't seem to bother him at all. He just lies there and farts.
Seriously, that kid could fart for Australia if he keeps it up.
I understand there are some cultural differences and such, but I hadn't realized it was an national sport.
Yep, along with the 10 mile burp
given all that, UT, looks like you live in a pretty swanky neighborhood!
It's nice. But I'm in this weird place now, post-failures, where I can't afford to live here, can't afford to sell, and can't refinance.
Dickwad back there puts in a pool - they use it once per year. Buys a trampoline because the kids two doors down have one - his kids use it once, never again. Removes his perfectly fine deck and replaces it with a permanent concrete patio - they never sit out on it.
Buys a trampoline because the kids two doors down have one - his kids use it once, never again. .
Perhaps because it's on a goddam freaking hill?!!1!! or is that just the camera angle?
No, it's on a fucking hill. The yard does flatten a little at the bottom.
Well that's mildly amusing me. :lol:
It's nice. But I'm in this weird place now, post-failures, where I can't afford to live here, can't afford to sell, and can't refinance.
And how many of your neighbors are in the same situation?
Perhaps because it's on a goddam freaking hill?!!!! or is that just the camera angle?
That thing SHOULD have a camera on it - Guaranteed to get a nice shot of a kid launching off it at that angle. hehehe
Funniest home Videos here we come! Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Class talking about the division of labour and self-sufficiency. I asked them where they'd get milk from. "A cow!" cried they. How? I asked. Several attempted to demonstrate. None of them had the action anywhere near right. A few were miming tugging on the teats like pulling on a rope to ring a bell. One showed a twisting action like wringing out a wet cloth!!!
MOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! :lol:
You should've brought a real cow to class so it could kick the shit out of them.
No, it's on a fucking hill. The yard does flatten a little at the bottom.
Well, you have the right idea there.
Sneak over there tonight and you and J use it. ;)
Whhheeeeeeeeeee!
Yep, along with the 10 mile burp
I've won this many, many times.
Of course, now it is the 16.1 kilometer burp.
A few minutes to fill at work, so I hit wikipedia and surf the random pages.
click .... Uruguayan soccer leagues .... click ... Orlov revolts in Greece ... click HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY CLICK CLICK CLICK
Second-hand furniture is mildly amusing me today.
So,chatting with a colleague today, discussing the behaviour of some of our students: laziness, cheating, generally having their heads up their arses.
My fellow teacher remarked that "a lot of the Chinese students should just be lined up and shot".
I had to check my watch, but yes, it was June 4th ... the 20th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre.
I shouldn't laugh, but I bloody well did.
:lol2: Yep, yer going to hell. [COLOR=Wheat]Save me a seat.[/COLOR]
I passed a student in the hallway, and she was talking to a friend about her mother.
She said "I mean, COME ON. I'm an ADULT. I'm 19 AND A HALF."
If you don't know why that's funny, you're too young.
HA HA HA HA - Thats too rich.
Did you write her up for being there without a hall pass? :angel:
Nah, I just smacked her and sent her to her room.
:lol:
On the way into work, I was behind a car (then passing in the passing lane) that had a license plate that read:
OMG I PWN
I was laughing, and as I passed dude glanced over and i gave him a thumbs up.
I loved it.
Nah, I just smacked her and sent her to her room.
:lol:
Next time, smack her and send her to
my room.
The twenty/20 cricket world cup.
I am very pleased that the Netherlands managed to beat England.
I am pissing myself laughing that England managed to lose to the Netherlands. :lol2:
Not that I am a mean person or anything.
Great, now she's a crippled female minority.[INDENT]Sotomayor’s New Accessory on Capitol Hill
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Judge Sonia Sotomayor sported a cast during a visit with Senator Charles E. Grassley of Iowa on Monday. She fractured her ankle in a stumble at La Guardia Airport.
[/INDENT][COLOR=Wheat]Yeah, I know, I'm going to hell... Which I don't believe in anyways...
[/COLOR]
Pie- if you don't believe in hell then you are going to Double Secret Probation Hell which, I hear, is worse.
Ahem.
So, after defeats to the West Indies and Sri Lanka, Australia has been knocked out of the twenty/20 world cup.
It's all my fault.
It's not your fault Zen. It's Roy's fault.
Here's a bit of trivia for you. He puts his boat in the water at the boat ramp just down the road from us.
We're expecting to see a lot more of him from now on. lol
Ahem.
So, after defeats to the West Indies and Sri Lanka, Australia has been knocked out of the twenty/20 world cup.
It's all my fault.
It's not your fault. It's Bush's Fault.
Emails from my students today:
.... sorry for the convinince....
....diarhoea which I have had for the pass two days ...
Oh Zen, this really dumb lady I used to work with (whose title included the word communications) sent out an email to everyone in the college email system in which she apologized for the "incontinence."
I'm sorry, indeed!
Hell, one of them just wrote an essay in which he repeatedly referred to "global worming".
Yes, really.
Life imitating the cellar.
People
People who need people.
"global worming".
Well if you gots teh worms, you want to get rid of all of them.
Dog has "buried" her rawhide under a pile of USB cable smack in the middle of the living room. What a 21st century dog.
What style of connector??
Anyway. There was a bloodmobile at my workplace today. I stopped in at the end of the day to bleed off a pint. While I was on the table, The Day the Music Died came on the radio. I realized I couldn't listen to it without hearing the words to the Weird Al version going along at the same time.
People who need people.
Mainly people being dicks. ;)
What style of connector??
Anyway. There was a bloodmobile at my workplace today. I stopped in at the end of the day to bleed off a pint. While I was on the table, The Day the Music Died came on the radio. I realized I couldn't listen to it without hearing the words to the Weird Al version going along at the same time.
Maybe later someday, Vader, now he's just a small fry
Oh yes, Weird Al has "ruined" a bunch of songs for me. My son listens to them all the time!
What style of connector??
Anyway. There was a bloodmobile at my workplace today. I stopped in at the end of the day to bleed off a pint. While I was on the table, The Day the Music Died came on the radio. I realized I couldn't listen to it without hearing the words to the Weird Al version going along at the same time.
I love it. I have actually not heard that one. When I hear Another One Bites the Dust, though, I can't help but hear Another One Rides the Bus.
You have heard White and Nerdy, haven't you?
That should be our theme song.
I know it's mine! :)
I'll throw my vote in for Amish Paradise. And Nature Trail To Hell. And One More Minute.
The cellar: practically over-run with nerds.
You have heard White and Nerdy, haven't you?
That should be our theme song.
Not bad, but I identify more with "It's All About The Pentiums."
I coloured my hair again today.
I really liked in white-blonde.
But when my Mum's spiteful friend suggested to her that I cannot be depressed if I colour my hair (which I only do to make people look at me) I decided FUCK HER.
A very silly reason to colour my hair Barbie Slut Pink (it matches my toenails now)
Which is why I am mildly amused at myself.
Agreed! CAn you get some polka dots in there? Fuck that old bat friend of your mom's.
:)
So she says if you color your hair you aren't crazy.... then you color your hair.
I'm beginning to wonder about both of you.
Then again you could have shaved your head bald....
When I first coloured my hair purple, and it really didn't take evenly (I recoloured it before posting here) I was tempted to butcher it. It was my Betty Blue moment, but I backed off. I'm not crazy.
No poking eyes out here.
the modest proposal thread. s'good stuff.
Posting to get the three queens together on one page.
the rare trifecta!
:queen: :queen: :queen:
Mildly amusing?
I just got out of a teleconference call with some consultant type person in New York who wanted to know how we do stuff here. Did it as a favor for a head guy at my firm.
Anyway, everyone on this conference was using that business speak thing where you talk for five minutes about something using fancy business lingo when you could just say the damn thing in one sentence in plain English.
At one point they were asking me a question about client's vendors providing metrics for some blah blah blah or other, and it took me a moment to realize they were just asking if we review the work our staff does to make sure it's OK. Is there some sort of lingo course that you take to get through MBA programs?
the rare trifecta!
:queen: :queen: :queen:
Is there such a thing as a Quadfecta? If so, I'm in......
:queen::queen::queen::queen:
Here's a gallon of ice cream and a VHS copy of Steel Magnolias. Please open a private chat for the yaya sisterhood of the travelling pants-type comments. thx
Can you please eat a dick? thx
No, but I'll bet you can. Sugar tits.
You're just jealous of the travelling pants 'cause your ass got too big to wear your favorite mini-skirt and now when you wear it you look like a hooker. Ya hooker.
No, but I got some up-kilt shots you can flick your bean to.
Nah, your beans wouldn't turn on my bean.
Let's make three-bean salad, baby. [COLOR="White"]. . . [/COLOR] Tossed salad.
Is there some sort of lingo course that you take to get through MBA programs?
Like any other specialty, MBA programs come with a certain amount of technical lingo and instill specialized skills. For worthless bullshit programs like the MBA it's mostly about forming non-committal sentences and emitting profound-sounding logorrhea.
Shawnee and Flint are amusing me today.
But also amusing me is the footy on TV. When a player has exposed blood, they are obliged to leave the field. Play is stopped while that player is substituted. The TV shows a little "Blood Rule" sign in the corner of the screen ... which also includes an ad encouraging people to donate blood to the red cross... dunno why, but I find it amusing...
I run Google Analytics on my cooking blog, mostly because I find useless stats to be very interesting. It will tell you, among other things, the terms that people typed into their search engine that ultimately led them to click on the link to your site.
The best one so far?
ketchup as a lotion
She puts the ketchup on her skin, lest she gets the hose again...
Two weeks ago Indonesia's Supreme Court decided to allow the five to return to Horn Island in the Torres Strait.
But prosecutors in Merauke had to wait for a letter from the Attorney-General's office in Jakarta, while the Attorney-General's office in Jakarta was waiting on a letter from the prosecutors in Merauke.
I got an email from The Trading Post today, and the title of it was "Trish, Sell your car for $24.95 today!"
I ask you, who the fuck is going to sell their car for $24.95? Why not just dump it?
Anyway, obviously that wasn't what was meant, but I chose to read it that way and get a giggle out of it. :)
No kidding, one time - in Brisbane, no less - I sold a car for $25.
I'm glad I held out for that last five cents.
oh oh I have such a cute memory from yesterday and there isn't anyway to convey it to it's perfection with words. I guess you'd have to be there but I will try.
I needed a short shovel to mix compost into my soil this fall. I go to a used tool shop because I don't want to spend 5 dollars more on a new shovel, which if it hadn't been for the old time scene I saw, I might have passed on this old rusty thing. So this place is like the house version of someone's old greasy toolbox. Nothing is organized( much ) and scattered in places and I have to step over things and squeeze through but as I do manage to worm my way through I see there is a gathering of little old men at the back. I swear it looked like one of those old time shows where the old men are gathering having a hoot about one thing or another. About 6 men were sitting around a vacant place in one of the counters drinking coffee and laughing about some picture someone got of the internet. The only reason I know that much without snooping is I had to squeeze through to get to the back yard where the yard tools where. It was very Norman Rockwell - esk. I liked it.It amused me very much.
oh and I paid 5 dollars for a very old heavy short shovel but I felt it was worth the privilege of intruding on someone's front for an old mens club.
Ah, so you were the interloper, in the Old Men's Club alert that went out last night. :eyebrow:
ha, I guess I was. A very unexpected rare peek at that!
What a sweet image, sky. :)
I'm finding it mildly ironic that I -a Brit- am paying taxes to the US government on Independance Day [COLOR="LightBlue"](or close enough)[/COLOR]
Ha...just send me a check directly. ;)
What's mildly amusing me today?
The fact that someone is still going into the chatroom using my name.
From now on, let it be known that if I go in there, i'll never use my Aliantha handle, nor any dirivitive of it. I will always use something else if and when I do go there.
God some people are fucking thick as planks.
Every morning, I let my two yard chickens out of the greenhouse, then cross the lawn to the actual chicken coop, to let the other birds out for a day of bug eating in their fenced pen.
My banty roo, Marlon, is apparently deeply in love with me, so when I open the door to the greenhouse he goes into his romance dance for a few seconds, then follows me out into the yard. As I make my way across the (large) lawn, Marlon - who is about the size of a 4-week old kitten - runs like hell to keep up with me. I can't tell you how funny this little dork looks, racing along after me, and the fact that he's got a slightly gimpy leg makes it all the more comedic. (Am I going to hell for laughing at my handicapped roo?)
[CENTER]
(click image)[/CENTER]
It gets better. Every morning, he's distracted as we pass the front door of the house. There's a big gold-colored kick plate along the bottom of the door, in which Marlon sees
gasp! another rooster! ARRGH! [FONT="Arial Black"][SIZE="4"]
ATTACK!!![/SIZE][/FONT]
Of course, it's his own reflection, so he crashes into the door with a thud and a squawk. :lol2:
He never learns, and I never start a morning without a good laugh.
Oh Glinda please, please film it for us!
Your description was wonderfully evocative, but I'm not familiar enough with roosters to really visualise it - he looks such a shy chap in the pic!
I keep telling myself I'm going to do that... :rolleyes:
I'll put the camera by the door and hopefully I'll remember to take it out with me!
His name isn't Chanticleer?
(and he is a fine looking cock)
His name isn't Chanticleer?
:D He got his name by mistake. After he hatched and began growing, I thought he was a girl. I named "her" Marlene, because she always seemed to want to be alone. Then one day she crowed, and Marlon was born.
(and he is a fine looking cock)
Thank you, and I'll pass your generous comments his way. ;) He's quite the little stud. *
* [SIZE="1"]He's a purebred bantam
Araucana. Weird chickens from South America that lay blue and green eggs.[/SIZE]
Good story Glinda. I'm with the 'film it' crew. Sounds like it'd be a good laugh. :)
Glinda, that "tufting" thing on the Araucana looks really interesting from a genetic point of view (as well as an aesthetic pov!) Are your hens also tufted?
Glinda, that "tufting" thing on the Araucana looks really interesting from a genetic point of view (as well as an aesthetic pov!) Are your hens also tufted?
They are indeed, but for unknown reasons the males usually have large tufts on both sides of the head but the females often have small tufts on just one side. Additionally, the males usually have no tail feathers, but the females often do have them. My females have one-sided tufts and tails, although I did have one female that had no tufts and no tail (hawk got her :eek: ).
Essentially, purebred Araucana genetics are completely unreliable (two of my banties created a normal sized, bearded hen with a tail - how that happened I can't imagine), except for the blue/green egg gene - that one always comes through.
I'm hoping one of the two females I have now will sit on some eggs this summer, so I can enlarge my little bantam clan.
In the meantime, I got the video! It's not very good (turns out I'm an awful videographer, and jogging backwards is
not my best move), but you'll get the idea.
Heeerrrrrrrre's Marlon!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lmlj4g7YNk4Mildly interesting....
Idiots who think they are about to get better health care.
Great video Glinda, thanks. :thumb:
Marlon is so adorable! Thanks for sharing the video, Glinda...it's improved my mood tremendously.
Made me smile. Thanks, Glinda!
Glinda - don't take this the wrong way...
But I really laughed at your cock :D
Thanks much for the vid - that' s gotta have a bigger circulation here somehow - let me think of another thread it should be in. And glorious to hear your voice too - very melodious. No wonder all the cocks come running...
And no, I won't tire of cock jokes in this post.
I LOVE that my cock makes you laugh! :D
The best effect is when he's heading directly toward or away from you, so you can see his gimpy leg flipping around - I'll keep trying for a more straight-on view.
And I really have to learn not to breathe when I'm taping - boy is that microphone sensitive!
This review on Amazon gave me a chuckle. I might have assumed that it was intentional humor except for the low rating.
Holy crap, HM got a shout-out on Boingboing!
Tapecraft: art made with tape and markers
Posted by Cory Doctorow, July 14, 2009 10:01 PM | permalink
Flickr user Happy Monkey has a set of "Tapecraft" objects: "Crafts constructed from simple invisible tape and colored with permanent markers." Tapecraft (via Evil Mad Scientists)
Whee! I was wondering why my flickr stats were exploding!
Very cool HM. See, we have the best monkeys.
Somewhere there exists a woman with my first and last name, about my age. Her mother is email-challenged, despite working in a relatively technical field, and routinely sends me emails intended for her daughter. This poor woman has never once responded to my repeated replies that I am not her daughter and she should double-check her email address, so I continue to get these detailed glimpses into someone else's life, including family photos. Apparently the anti-me just had a baby a few days ago. I replied and told the woman to tell her daughter congratulations for me.
Maybe you could set up an automatic "rule" to forward on Mom's emails to the daughter?
can i have her email address please? I'd like to rick roll her.
I was getting e-mails meant for a high school teacher from his students. Some of them containing homework. At first I worked hard to clear up the misunderstandings. Went on intermittently for a year or more. Then I just started deleting them. Deleting them worked faster in my case. I stopped getting them shortly after that. I guess that when students get zeros on homework for failing to turn them in, the teacher realizes there is a serious problem. What teacher uses gmail for work anyway?
gmail offers a mail service for 'your domain' that is just like regular gmail
I have [email]jhelm@whereiwork.com[/email] and it was a simple thing to set my main gmail acct to pull emails into it. when i send mail, i can select which address i'm sending it from. slick
Are there adjunct HS teachers? lol
Maybe you could set up an automatic "rule" to forward on Mom's emails to the daughter?
I would, but I don't know the daughter's address, other than it must be similar to mine. The woman's phone number is in her signature, since she emails me from work, so one of these days I suppose I'll get bothered enough to call her on the phone and remind her again that her daughter must be so sad, thinking her mother never emails her and doesn't love her.
Clod, you are seeing the half-empty jar and missing out on a lot of fun. Just reply and tell her all about your
new tatoo
decision to name your child Michael Jackson
tongue piercing
new job as pole dancer
decision to move to the opposite coast
decision to become a lesbian
I'm sure you could think of a lot more.
I too have a problem with gmail doubling up.
I am Zen.Gum at gmail. (not my real address)
Someone else registered ZenGum at gmail. Gmail cheerfully assures me that it is in fact me. Dumbasses.
Every now and then one aimed at him reaches me. One time I got an offer of an internship in a Chicago law office, or something. That one I replied to, to straighten things out, but lately I am ignoring them. If it keeps up, I think I will try Dar's solution. Nice idea.
You've all heard or even used the term snail mail before right?
Well at our house, we really do have snail mail!
[ATTACH]24229[/ATTACH]
This is what the inside of our letterbox looks like. As you can see, it's inhabited by a number of snails who've been chewing their way through our mail, and also in residence is an asian gecko.
"So I just hit central alt delete?"
I got to the pool and parked next to a truck with a cap. I heard a cat meowing. I looked in the trees, but sure enough it was coming from that truck. I looked around it, I looked inside as much as I dare lest the owner think I was up to no good...couldn't find a cat.
As I was leaving, a man had that truck door open and was looking all over underneath the truck. I asked if he heard a cat too. He said "I think my cat hitched a ride, but I can't find him." So we both started looking.
At this point I thought maybe he could be a serial killer and he had a cat recording and he was going to shove me into the truck, much like a movie I am sure most of you are familiar with.
The guy is saying "come here Jack, here kitty" and finally Jack came from, I think, the spare tire that was hanging underneath the truck. He was in fine shape, and very pretty. He had a little collar.
Jack wouldn't come out from under the truck, so I asked the guy if he thought a can of cat food would help. He looked at me funny and said "you keep it in your car?" and I laughed and explained I had stopped at the store on the way to the pool just for the purpose of getting cat food.
It worked! The man tried to give me money and I'm like oh please, I LOVE cats. He and I laughed, and he put the cat in the back of the truck, shut the hatch, and took Jack home.
Jack was going to enjoy a can of Mariner's Catch tonight!
that's such a cool story :lol:
I love happy animal stories! =)
The Onion has
this fake news video making fun of Cash4Gold. On
the actual Cash4Gold website, The Onion's video is featured along with other
real news stories featuring Cash4Gold. Either #1 they didn't watch the video closely enough to realize it's a parody, #2 they don't think the visitors to their website will watch the video closely enough to realize it's a parody, or #3 they have a wise-ass web designer who put up a video from THE ONION because he knew his dumbass bosses wouldn't watch the video closely enough to realize it's a parody.
A friend of mine works for an opera company. They are putting on a new show this season that was specifically commissioned for the purpose of "honoring the history of" their fair city. There's some local governmental bicentennial going on, or something.
The problem is, they picked the wrong composer and libretto author. But they're only coming to grips with this reality now, when it's far too late to change. They're merely doing damage control at this point.
The basic plot started out as a love story between a slave and her master. Except slave importation was banned in 1807, and this particular city wasn't founded until 1850. Can't change the city or the date for obvious reasons, so they just bit their tongues and agreed to take a little historical license with these open slave market scenes, hoping that the city historians whom this whole shebang is being sponsored by won't care (since they most certainly will notice.) Okay. The other half of the show was set in 1920 (which was a significant year for the city for some other reason,) with the 1850s scenes being flashbacks of the main character.
Except now, they've realized they don't have the money for period costumes or sets, not even close.
So they're setting the 1920s scenes in "present day," because that's easy to furnish and costume. But the flashbacks are staying in 1850, because otherwise the libretto doesn't even have a pertinent year in the plot to connect it to the city's nonexistent slave history. Thus, the main character in this opera is no less than 175 years old. I think at this point they're just genuinely hoping the city historians aren't so good at math.
:lol: ooh you are evil being mildly amused by that!
No, I'd say she's being very virtuous. This is worth more than "mild" amusement.
Hmm, maybe they should turn it into a comedy/revue/farce/spoof. :p
I got to the pool and parked next to a truck with a cap. I heard a cat meowing. I looked in the trees, but sure enough it was coming from that truck. I looked around it, I looked inside as much as I dare lest the owner think I was up to no good...couldn't find a cat. *snip*
Some friends of mine took a short drive from their rural home to a nearby town to do a little shopping. The engine was acting oddly, so they stopped about halfway there and opened the hood of their old rattletrap truck. Out bounded one of their kitties, ran across the road (nearly being run over in the process), and hid in some tall grass.
When they were finally able to catch said kitty, it was badly burned and in serious shock. Got the car running and raced to the vet. Here's a pic taken as they got the kitty back into the car. :(
The vet cut away the burned skin and sewed the kitty back together the best he could.
I'm glad to report that after MANY months of constant care and attention, the kitty is all healed up and doing well.
It was quite a struggle, though, as the kitty would not stop trying to lick the wound. Cone collar was useless. The solution? Baby jammies!
A happy ending, but take heed; if you have an outdoor kitty, bang on the hood of your vehicle before starting it up!
only one of those pics is working for me :( but great there was a happy ending
OMG! (laughs with Clodfobble). All that -- plus opera?! They're doomed!
only one of those pics is working for me :( but great there was a happy ending
Rats. The pics are from my friend's Picasa web account. Maybe this link to all the kitty pics will work:
http://picasaweb.google.com/Dragon43/MissyHurt81008#5234218631397746402
(click [COLOR="RoyalBlue"]View All[/COLOR])
In Wal-mart, in the book section, there are two prevalant sections:
That Vampire series, what's it called, "I was a teenage vampire" or "Betoothed" or "Nightlight" or whatever the hell it's called...right next to...
God Squad books, books about how you can improve your life by giving yourself to the lord, self-help for fibromyalgia through prayer, how to lose 500 pounds by eating Cheetos in the name of the lord...etc and so on.
Whatcha need? Some Vampires or some lordz?
Apparently you spend too much time at Wal-mart if you know where all those books are. <raspberry>
I was hoping for an oasis of intelligence. Yes I was in there, looking for a (gasp) book!
Clearly, I am much too hopeful.
lol - now now... Oasis would be under "O". It wouldn't be near the vampire books.
lol @ betoothed!
123...the grade level of the books one can find over the counter is embarrassing. I too have tried to find a book at wal-mart, rite aid. I have decided I will have to use amazon or drive 20 minutes to Borders books.
We have a few used bookstore and the collections of each reflect the interest of the owner. The one close to me is filled with sci-fi material.
*sigh*
You forgot the "romance" section. And the spanish language section.
I've found quite a few books at Wal-mart. Mostly popular series; sometimes mystery or horror or SF, and they're cheap.
Not much selection, however, unless you are a fan of one of the big categories.
the pjs are funny
It's actually a brilliant solution. One I'll be suggesting to my vet. Prolly wouldn't work for a big old German Shepherd, but kitties and small dogs would surely be much happier in jammies than in one of those conehead things.
keep the kitties indoors for safety and long life
keep everyone indoors for safety and long life
A woman who worked as a paralegal in an adjacent office was indicted and arrested for allegedly embezzling over $200,000 from former employer.
She worked in our building for about 6 months and then was fired, but there were rumors about her even then.
Oy.
The Himbo is amusing me today.
It was his birthday and he had two days off (his bday and the one after), he called to abuse me for not sending a Happy Birthday sms (I did say Happy Bday as soon as he called)....to which I replied I knew he was spending the day with his family and gf...so thought I would leave him alone.
A couple of the girls at work and I bought him a full length mirror for his office and wrote on it in lipstick.
Now, it was a *take the piss* present obviously, because he enjoys looking at himself so much, but he was sooooo grateful that we bought it and spent an hour trying to figure out where was the best place to put it...."because I dont want my customers to think Im weird or anything....with a full length mirror in my office".
Before he hung it, he carried it around the office trying to figure out how he could look at his own arse whilst he was walking and when any of us talked to him...he would lift the mirror in front of himself and point it as us...which was disconcerting and then he would say ..."Are you talking to yourself?"...which was goofy but funny.
The boy is lucky he has looks going for him.
Ducks' himbo amuses me too.
Amusing but also worrying me a little is the hapless lad in one of my classes who just got one out of eight questions right in the true/false section of the test. :eek: Damn, that's statistically significantly worse than chance. He must have negative intelligence.
On the center divider. Every afternoon I take the same route home from work. On the concrete and brick center divider there lies one lonely shoe. Every day. Same place. I first noticed it in January - It has survived snow, wind, flooding, homeless people passing by - (Guess they wouldn't really have any need for one shoe) - Its contancy makes me smile.
A few days ago I was sitting, watching the kids movie "Ratatouille" with my neice (she's four years old). We were playing with some of those cloth circles (I don't know what they are called) - about the size of a ring, different colors, etc... Anyway, after a few minutes she had her fingers covered with these things and she wanted to show her mom what she had done. Well, I continued watching the movie for a few minutes and then I picked the magazine up I was reading earlier. Somewhere in there I had placed that cloth ring around my big toe and had forgotten about it.
Well, I went to bed around 11pm.
Next day.
Got up, got dressed, went to work.
Got home, got cleaned up, dressed, went to bed.
Next day.
Got up, got dressed, went to work.
Got home, got cleaned up... was getting dressed when I noticed this orange colored cloth ring around my big toe.
I started laughing... :lol: Wife come into bedroom and asks what's so funny. I start telling her my story about the cloth ring...
I get to the part about placing it on my big toe and I show her my toe with the orange colored cloth ring on it...
She laughs so hard her dentures almost fall out... :lol:
really lol-ing madman
great story too QOTR - nice
This mildly amused me yesterday.
College pres did one of his campus wide keepin' in touch with everybody meetings yesterday. One of the things we discussed was the whole Swine Flu thing (are we doing enough, too much, is it blown out of proportion...)
As we left, a woman was at the door handing out a draft of a notice that will be sent to students regarding symptoms and the like. She was freaking LICKING HER THUMB to get the next sheet to hand out.
Um, gross. I was grossed out when my 2nd grade teacher did that. I haven't read the letter yet, I have sent it out to be sanitized, but I wonder if one of the items is: do not lick your fingers to pick up a paper then hand that paper to someone as that paper is now covered in your germ-ridden slimy phlegm.
She was freaking LICKING HER THUMB to get the next sheet to hand out.
I hate that.
I have to wonder: are your freaking fingers made of teflon or something? How hard is it to get the next sheet of paper? At the very least, invest in one of those rubber fingers. :lol:
You can even flex the stack of papers just so, and it will fan them all out by a millimeter each, so you can just pick each one up.
Exactly!
A woman I work with is 8 months pregnant. I turned to see her come out the door with her nose all wrinkled up, and she mumbled "I told her I already have one."
You know if they had sent out an email, they would have saved some paper and some germs.
This was a draft for us to peruse: I'm sure the final will be sent to student emails. Don't know why they printed them though, we could read it online just as easily.
I just found out I got some free money.
Last night it was bad subtitles.
We have to have them on because Mum's hearing is sensitive and she won't tolerate loud noise. Dad and I have limited hearing, so can't catch every word - not always necessary, but in dramas it helps.
In one night I saw, "standing up to her cruel gaze" as "standing up to her cruel gays" and "poise and grace" as "poison grace."
FTR - this is via the subtitles on TV (and we appreciate them being there!) rather than films, where they tend to be much more accurate. The only time they bug me is for comedy, where I get to read the punchlines before they are performed. Still, better than missing jokes.
My cow orkers.
Some of them are in a total flap because they are trying to enter marks into spreadsheets and they won't save. It is some kind of "read-only" protection.
Save-as people, SAVE-AS. :lol: Now they love me.
Sometimes the choices products give.
Why not make all cat food urinary health.
All toothpastes have tartar control
and all deodorants maximum protection.
It amuses me I can choose a high ash content to kill my cat, prefer to have tartar on my teeth this month and smelly armpits if I want.
This is America, goddammit, you have the constitutional right, to smelly armpits, cruddy teeth and a dead cat. :rant:
Maybe it's because there are also drawbacks to all those benefits -like cancer of the armpits, bleeding gums and there are 101 uses for a dead cat and only 7 uses for a live one?
blindsided me there monster
I was laughing out loud before I knew it
.....didn't see that coming
Mum's friend D (the infamous D who "knew" I was faking depression because I coloured my hair) has been convinced for years that anti-perspirants cause breast cancer. An ex nurse. Sigh.
I am being mildly amused by one of my more hopeless students. In general without a clue (12/40), he can nevertheless recognise a statistical generalisation when he sees one (probably just because it has a % sign in it, but never mind that); but his attempt to name this comes out as "Genersatical".
Mind you, his mate got 11.5/40. [shakes head sadly]
A few of these lads who should never have been admitted to the course.
from a funny site a friend pointed out to me: textsfromlastnight . com:
So today a student made a crack about Dayton, she'd been robbed of all her stuff recently, and I said "you mean the armpit of Ohio?" and she wrote it down for later use.
I totally stole that but I don't know from where. It's the thievin' that keeps on givin'!
I usually use online banking but on the road I used my cell phone to get a balance. After the system asked me for all important numbers and to possibly give over my first born it then asked," press 1 to continue" :rolleyes:
press one to continue???"?:eyebrow:
So today a student made a crack about Dayton, she'd been robbed of all her stuff recently, and I said "you mean the armpit of Ohio?" and she wrote it down for later use.
Hey, now. :mecry:
Heheheheeh...it's mild compared to what I call MY town. ;)
I was just giving her a little boost. I like Dayton. :)
Heheheheeh...it's mild compared to what I call MY town. ;)
Let me guess... is it a different body part?
Actually I don't live in Dayton. I live in Springboro, a little bit south. Springboro is more like the nose of Ohio, because it's filled with snots.
Today's student error was a good one.
As a warm-up question, I asked them all what the strangest thing they had ever eaten was. Horse, snake, fried ants, semen ...
????
He meant cement. he really needs to work on his pronunciation. :lol:
You ate sand?
srsly, cement? What's the nutritional labeling on that?
I usually use online banking but on the road I used my cell phone to get a balance. After the system asked me for all important numbers and to possibly give over my first born it then asked," press 1 to continue" :rolleyes:
press one to continue???"?:eyebrow:
Yes, after you entered all your info, you have to press 1 to continue... on to the real bank. :mg:
It's the same bank always the same menu.
To think about it hurts my head with ridiculousness because I really I don't know what the heck press #1 to continue is for except being redundant.
Or a security feature
or maybe it means if my finger is tired I can just hang up now?
* Long shrug*
[SIZE=1]edit [I just realized Bruce was making fun of me]
I should have to press a number to get into my checking account or some other menu option but it only requires another digit be pressed just for the heck of it. ah f.... it. I just thought it was funny.
[/SIZE]
I think he was implying that all the other stuff was scammers rather than mking fun....
That's what I thought at first then I thought well maybe yeah of course press the next button.I didn't know if I was being sensitive. Maybe I am so bored simply dialing the phone gives me amusement....and that's sad. :P
My friends are too busy to chat.
I am blah today bored beyond the norm so I got busy and vacuumed,dusted, washed a load of clothes, made some granola bars and all is well again.
I feel productive again. * big sigh of relief*
I just wordled the cellar index page and this was the result:
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/1337630/Cellar
not a large cock in sight! I was mildy amused.
Guy I saw on the train this morning.
Polished black shoes, pressed black trousers, business shirt - no tie though - reading Atlas Shrugged; but still carrying his backpack from his student days with the Rage Against The Machine patch sewn on it. :lol:
I got sausages out to defrost for mini toad-in-the-hole today (sausages in batter pudding). There were only four in the freezer, and I put them in a bowl in the microwave (off) because it's a safe place at room temperature.
Dad moaned to Mum - he will never confront me directly - that we would only get one sausage each. Turns out when Mum makes toad-in-the-hole, she spoils Dad and gives him three sausages. Well tough. There were no more in there anyway, and we decided Dad could have two portions and we'd have one each, just heavy on the accompanying veg.
All a mild irritant, and very silly. If he just ate what he was given he'd feel full up anyway - this is cooked differently than the ones Mum does anyway. In his 70th year, he's pretty much stuck in his ways.
Anyway. Mum thought the sausies weren't defrosting quickly enough, so she took them out of the microwave and put them on top of the hob. Cooker wasn't on, just for some reason she thought there would be a temperature difference in the open air. Ridiculous, as when I checked them at 14.00 I deemed them defrosted, and anyway, any temperature difference would be negible, if it existed at all.
Cries and shouts from downstairs approx 5 minutes ago.
Diz got at the sausages.
He had one on the floor and had shredded it all over the kitchen.
Not only that, but Dad's first step into the porky madness saw him sliding on a piece and skidding across the floor in true slapstick banana skin stylee.
Dad not impressed. Mum and I both apologetic for our parts in the tragedy. The 'rents have had two scavenger cats (like Diz) so she should have known better. But he's my cat so I feel responsible.
Dad only gets one portion, and Mum and I still smirking now. The idea of Dad gliding over the kitchen floor on the extra sausage he was sulking about, like an older Tom Cruise in Risky Business is really quite amusing. If he'd slipped and hurt himself it wouldn't be funny. But he didn't, so we can smirk to our hearts' content.
Anyway. Mum thought the sausies weren't defrosting quickly enough,
so she took them out of the microwave and put them on top of the hob.
But he's my cat so I feel responsible.
:headshake
I'm in the basement working at home today. Shila, our beagle, is on the floor above working on her morning nap. She's snoring like a diesel. It's loud even here in the basement.
Shopping in Sainsbury's with Ma today.
They were away for the weekend, and I'm always at risk of drinking then. I tamed the cravings this time by laying into the Ma's stash of Caffeine Free Diet Coke cans. About ten. Not great for the teeth, but I could sleep and didn't bump into anything.
So I promised to buy her replacements along with my usual fortnightly shop. She wanted to come into town without Dad anyway, to get his Christmas present.
We're at the checkout. Mum is putting light things in her bag and I am loading the bottles, cans etc into my shopping trolley.
All of a sudden, from the perspective of Mum & the cashier, something is squirting them. Their inital suspect is a little boy who has been running up and down making a ruckus. Nope. It was a six-pack of said Coke which had just been scanned and I was about to pack.
I knew where it was coming from - I was trying to contain it in a bag. Everyone else squirted was just in complete shock.
Now I hadn't touched it at that point. And the cashier certainly hadn't manhandled it. All I can assume is that one of the cans had been damaged earlier and it just took a while for the pressure in the can to erupt.
Now the six cans were bound together in a plastic sleeve. Which means the high pressure squirt action went in about three different directions. It hit Mum, the cashier, the cashier working back to back with her, the other people in the queue, people walking along and all the shopping on the belt.
The person most unscathed? Me. I was behind it to an extent, and was wrangling it into a bag to try to stop the arterial-style spurting.
Poor lady on checkout. EVERYTHING was coated in Coke. Her till, her hair, her uniform, the belt, the area for packing bags etc. It will dry sticky and I bet there'll be sticky parts becoming apparent for weeks to come.
We could go home and change. She had to sit there til the end of her shift! Good job it's December, so at least she doesn't have to worry about wasps.
Mum and I left the supermarket in a state of near shock. But we consoled ourselves in a local hostelry (actually this was always the plan - we called it our works' outing). The great thing was, no-one was really to blame. At least none of the protagonists. So our humour, when it came, was untainted by guilt or annoyance.
And every time we pictured the Coke going a gusher and drenching all those other people we did start giggling. We're simple people really.
Ahh, yes.
About 6 months ago, I was letting Minifob help me with the groceries. He tried to carry and subsequently dropped a twelve-pack of sodas. The thin cardboard paper wrapping tore open, and no fewer than four cans burst open and began spraying wildly as they rolled across the tile floor in opposite directions. Of course as they rolled they generated a sprinkler effect where the spray cycled up and around, and in the end I was cleaning soda off the hanging light fixture.
At the time I was not at all amused. :)
Good job it's December, so at least she doesn't have to worry about wasps.
Instead she becomes a human Slurpee. (Do you guys have Slurpee?)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SlurpeeIt was 77 degrees here to today. Some storms, hard rain, then clear skys. It is 9 pm and 70 degrees. This is the stuff big storms are made of.
From the instructions on a recent prescription: "Unwrap and insert one suppository per rectum."
Fortunately, he doesn't have more than one. :rolleyes:
This story about bedbug bed-buggery at NewScientist.
The story is mildly amusing, but the comments discussion is gold! Be sure to read all comments.
WTF it was 81 today. Damm I think this global warming tin foil hat stuff may have merit. How was the weather in NY today. Oh I know cold as hell.
Expected to be 56 in the am.
Winter is upon us.
Student evaluation of teaching comments.
"An increasing is my think's logic."
I was not responsible for teaching them English.
For the past few days, my male cat Sterling has been trying to mate with my female cat Daisy. On the ironing board, in my office/sewing room.
Both are neutered, of course, and Sterling really hasn't any idea what to do after he sinks his teeth into her neck scruff, so he just kind of stands there over her looking confused - but determined to do *something* - until she gets fed up, turns around and whacks him.
She puts up with this because, otherwise, they are best buddies.
This is all the more amusing because it takes place on the ironing board, which is not particularly sturdy. I had to move the iron because they kept knocking it off.
Now that their nightly drama has been accomplished, they're engaged in mutual grooming of each other's heads, which is really cute. It's like Daisy is thinking, "I have no idea what you're trying to do, but I love you anyway."
Come to think of it, I've often thought the same thing. ;)
Our cattle dog keeps stealing Christmas ornaments from the tree and table tops. He is killing at least 2 or more a day. I am quitely amused. But I pretend to be angry for my wife's sake and to support her anger.
Juni, my lost cat Dylan grew up with the studs (at the breeder's house.)
Although he was neutered, he learned their behaviour.
Diz was always the dominant cat, the alpha if you like (although cats don't have a pack hierarchy in the same way dogs do) but he was brought up with the queens.
So the whole time I had them both, Dylan would occasionally mount Diz, biting his neck and making him submit.
And yet Diz got first dibs on food, first choice at sleeping place and could chase Dylan off my lap by jumping up and edging him off cuckoo style.
Animal pecking orders are more complicated than we think!
Just got a call from my wife. She was at the grocery store to pick up some mozzarella cheese and some cold cuts for the weekend. It's a work day, mid morning, and apparently the entire county is stocking up on groceries. We are supposed to get between 6 inches and a foot of snow tomorrow. I knew there would be a rush on the grocery stores before the storm, but I thought it wouldn't be until tonight. It's kind of quiet here at work. I think people are actually blowing off work this morning so they can hoard groceries.
She said that people are standing by the front door and following others with carts back to their cars so they can get their shopping carts after they unload their groceries.
She left in disgust. Maybe we won't be having homemade pizza tonight. I think I put this in the wrong thread. I started off mocking all the crazy people, but now I'm a little irritated when I think about no pizza tonight.
Ha ha Glatt! I hear you, that happens here too whenever we're supposed to get more than 3" or so.
I try to prep so that we don't even have to go to the store at all, as long as it'll be less than a week before the roads are cleared. I can bake bread, and the only things we really "need" are milk and fresh veggies, though those can be subbed with canned/dried/frozen.
And where I live, snow & ice storms usually put us out of business for oh, about a day at the most. Less if we have to be at work! It has to get pretty damn bad for mailmen to stay home. Only happened once in the last 10 years.
Well its amusing to me how people get like that glatt - does that count?
ETA - Oh shit - I just realized you are only a few hours ahead of me - weather-wise. Crapola! I'm no longer amused. I have to go hoard food now too. <sulks away in disgust>
It is pretty funny. And we contributed to it a little bit. My wife wasn't out there stocking up on TP like all the crazies, but she did add to the parking lot congestion before she threw in the towel and left. Fortunately, we have a crappy grocery store a block from our house, and even though it doesn't have the Polly-O cheese we like, my wife got some generic grocery store mozzarella and cold cuts, and it was much more civilized. I think people really were going grocery shopping in the morning and arriving at work late. I bet it will be insane this evening though.
yeh thanks - just when I'll be out there - :yelsick:
It's like hurricane season too, when people just suddenly seem to realize OMG, I live in an area that gets hurricanes! I mean, HELLO, it's December, have you never gotten a snowstorm before? Might you stop to think, perhaps in October sometime, that it might be wise to stock up some extra canned goods and TP, maybe some candles and batteries, just in case you might need them? Sheesh.
I always have to laugh at the TV news coverage from hardware stores as people stand in line for shovels and salt. I can understand running out of salt, but if you live in a place that gets snow sometimes, why wouldn't you already have a shovel?
Last year we had a wind storm from hurricane Ike pass through and it knocked out our power for 5 days. You couldn't find many stores open or gas stations because they didn't have power either, and OMG did people freak out. The only difficulty we had was procuring a few gallons of gas for our generator so we could have TV and fridge. We managed, but learned from it so that next time there's a threat, we'll fill the tanks and cans.
Juni, my lost cat Dylan grew up with the studs (at the breeder's house.)
Although he was neutered, he learned their behaviour.
Diz was always the dominant cat, the alpha if you like (although cats don't have a pack hierarchy in the same way dogs do) but he was brought up with the queens.
So the whole time I had them both, Dylan would occasionally mount Diz, biting his neck and making him submit.
And yet Diz got first dibs on food, first choice at sleeping place and could chase Dylan off my lap by jumping up and edging him off cuckoo style.
Animal pecking orders are more complicated than we think!
that's just what Atomic and Demeter are like
I can understand running out of salt, but if you live in a place that gets snow sometimes, why wouldn't you already have a shovel?
When I first moved down here after college, I didn't own a snow shovel. You are starting out in life, on your own, and there are just certain things you don't think you will need. We lived in an apartment building with on street parking. Why would you need a shovel?
Well, after the "storm of the century" dropped like 2 feet of snow, we realized that even if you live in an apartment, it's good to have a shovel so you can dig your car out. We spent like 2 hours with cookie sheets and a broiler pan trying to dig our car out. And then once we did, and drove off to run errands, we came back and somebody had parked in the parking space we dug out. We had to dig another one out just to park again.
It has been raining like hell for 2 days. Your snow is on the way.
I cannot handle all the morons on the road - I've decided that popcorn and whatever else I already have will have to suffice. I am home finally and just don't feel like going out. I know my temper and I don't want to snap a week before Christmas.
On a slightly related point, it always amuses me seeing people doing their Christmas food shopping at the supermarket. It's like they're still in the 70s or early 80s when all the shops would close across Christmas. It's left us with this tradition of stocking up on basics (half a dairy's worth of milk, an entire bakery of bread, 3000 toilet paper rolls and a plantation's worth of tobacco) despite the fact that, actually, most of the shops only close for one day, and even then there's 24 hour garage forecourt shops all over the bloody show selling all those basics as and when they're needed.
Buying in enough food to prepare a spread, sure I get that. Making sure the cupboards and fridge are full of lovely treats, yeah, ok. But the whole batten-down-the-hatches approach seems silly these days.
On line shopping rocks. That is all.
Since much of Britain, including my town is currently blanketed in white, here are some random musings on the subject of snow:
1. It's really, really pretty. But it stops looking inviting when it comes time to walk a 28kg dog who pulls like a an over-enthusiastic huskey in a sled race.
2. The level of panic and disruption that descends on Britain with each falling flake is hysterically funny to watch on tv: less funny when it comes time to try and get a bus home from Leeds.
3. When letting the dog out for the last time before locking up for the night, it's not a good idea to be too lazy to locate shoes and instead step out in faux fur slippers.
4. Pilau's furry face acts as a handy snow-gatherer when he's snuffling about outside.
Having been rather busy at work, I have deferred all my seasonal shopping.
I must now venture forth into the great bedlam of the Mall, on the last Saturday before Xmas. 'tis gonna suck.
Calm, tranquil, deep breaths, patience, get the hell out of my way you selfish git! The narrowest bottleneck in a crowded mall is not the place to stand and chat! 10, 9, 8...
2. The level of panic and disruption that descends on Britain with each falling flake is hysterically funny to watch on tv: less funny when it comes time to try and get a bus home from Leeds.
Catching a bus in Leeds? You just have to be a little creative!
lol. I don't even need to click that link. Let me guess....the guy who just went down for 3 years for stealing a bus ?
Having been rather busy at work, I have deferred all my seasonal shopping.
I must now venture forth into the great bedlam of the Mall, on the last Saturday before Xmas. 'tis gonna suck.
Calm, tranquil, deep breaths, patience, get the hell out of my way you selfish git! The narrowest bottleneck in a crowded mall is not the place to stand and chat! 10, 9, 8...
Let the internet be ur friend. I refuse to venture forth into the masses of stupidity.
Dana, yeah :D It was a good chase.
And you thought HillBillies were only in the States :p
"'Ere, 'old me Watney's and wawch this!"
All buses should drive like that!
I love the car drivers giving way - that never happens in real life.
Porbably partly to do with the following police with flashing lights and sirens of course, but I reckon if you knew the driver was happy to ram you, you'd probably let him pull out into traffic occasionally, right?
I'm digging this new C-27J Cargo plane. They are putting the training facilities in Atlanta so I have just read about it. It was long over due since the days of the C-23 which I only saw in Panama.
I am amused with rich people who whine all the time about what fun poor people have. :lol:
classic's user title. You brat! :lol:
Guess you shoulda answered yer phone.
I was up front waiting on students! Happy New Year to ya! :)
Everything is funny today.
So the Guantanamo thread reminded me of an old song, for which the only title I could remember was One Ton Tomato...because that is how I sang it when I was a kid. So I googled One Ton Tomato. JACKPOT!
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/peteseeger9.shtml
Only I sang it: One ton tomato. Well she's a one ton tomato. How many jokes have I invented without even knowing it? ;)
Mum on the phone, telling someone (else!) about the recent trouble with my niece. When talking about the taxi driver that brought her home 20 miles through heavy snow on the promise of payment at the other end she said, "And he wouldn't even take any extra money! And he was a Muslim!"
I know she tries.
Went to dinner with my parents last night. It will be their 30th anniversary on Jan 25th and they're goin back to their honeymoon spot. I know from previous stories that my mom and dad eloped. From my previous understanding they met in Florida, fell in love, and then my dad decided he needed to move for a job. He told my mom that he didn't know where he was gonna end up, but he would send for her when he got there. Mom squashed that idea, told him she was going with him. I assumed that is when they traveled to back to Texas and got married in the Wylie courthouse.
Mom was talking about how they met in Florida and how she only spent 3 months in key west. She left for Florida on July 4th, met dad and they moved back here in October. I thought about it for a second, and went "Wait, you got married in January, that means you lived together before marriage!"
They had never told us this before, and they were outraged when I moved in with my boyfriend without getting married. They always claimed it was horrible for a person/relationship.
I am so freaking amused by their hypocrisy. Every time I think about it I smile and chuckle...
Mum on the phone, telling someone (else!) about the recent trouble with my niece. When talking about the taxi driver that brought her home 20 miles through heavy snow on the promise of payment at the other end she said, "And he wouldn't even take any extra money! And he was a Muslim!"
I know she tries.
Bless her. So many people are willing to shout from the roof tops the second a muslim is less than friendly/respectful. Or even when theyhave third or fourth hand stories of muslims who have been less than friendly or respectful. It's nice to hear someone doing the opposite.
I have a friend (Jill) who is a lovely lass, good working-class values etc. Little bit racist :P Not in a nasty way: she'd never be vile to anyone and gets on very well with several asian people in the area, including one old man who comes to the pensioner's group she runs. She was telling me about her niece's baby who was born on Christmas eve majorly premature, teeny tiny thing. Parents can't touch him yet. She was expecting to see it mentioned in the Courier (local rag). But no. Wasn't there. Oh but they had mentioned another boy who was born that evening, also premature but nowhere near as early. 'Oh yeah,' she says, with a knowing look, 'They mentioned the Asian baby'.
*shakes head* Like it;s some kind of conspiracy.
She's also convinced that if an Asian walks into the benefits agency they'll be set up faster and better. That if they go to the housing office they'll jump the queue and be given a big house.
Bless her though, she's stopped saying paki when I'm there :P
When talking about the taxi driver that brought her home 20 miles through heavy snow on the promise of payment at the other end she said, "And he wouldn't even take any extra money! And he was a Muslim!"
He knew, she knew, if he didn't get his money his underwear would blow up.
A friend got a call over the weekend that a hoarder's house was being cleaned out, and they were throwing away a bunch of albums. My friend is a big music collector, so he couldn't resist. He 'only' brought back around 450, but his companions grabbed a couple thousand each. Here they are, dumpster diving.
God what a find. I would have taken them all. And my wife would have killed me.
She's baaaccckkkkkkkk...(I think, has to be)
http://www.cellar.org/member.php?u=16001Harold Ford Jr.
doesn't shoot children.
Also, he firmly believes on the economy.
I love it.
Q. Guns. Let's talk about this issue.
A: I never got an A rating, like my opponent -- would-be opponent -- has enjoyed. I don't own them. I do shoot them, and I shoot them at things that can't shoot back. And will continue to do that. And by that, I want to be clear, I don't mean children. I have done a little bird hunting in my day.
Really, he only said he doesn't shoot children that "can't shoot back." The ones with bebe guns, he makes no promises.
whew. That there is somethin' special.
He really is a child killer or at least wants to be one.
Even Leo Sayer?
Absolutely. :thumbsup:
He really is a child killer or at least wants to be one.
Even Leo Sayer?
Absolutely. :thumbsup:
Is this a candidate for "sometimes the stars align"?
"When I need you
I just close my eyes and I shoot you..."
Actual sentence typed by a person:
FAX I need a FAX in Dept.
Actual sentence typed by a person:
lol
now that's amusing
"When I need you
I just close my eyes and I shoot you..."
I don't like that song either.
Actual sentence typed by a person:FAX I need a FAX in Dept.
Which reminds me:
There was the one fax machine on our floor at the office in the ante room of the dept. boss. - My phone rang - I lifted the receiver - the secretary, known for her no-nonsense approach, bellowed "FAX!" and slammed down the receiver at her end. :D
Boss: "I'm not feeling very well, I'm going to leave a little early today."
Me: "Hope you get to feeling better."
That was about 11am.
Around 1pm someone overheard him talking to his wife on the phone...
Boss: "I'm leaving early today, why don't I pick you up and we'll go out and eat."
He quietly walked out the back door at about 1:45pm
"When I need you
I just close my eyes and I shoot you..."
That song used to make me cry when I was little :P
Oh, I loved that song when it came out. It's really not bad, just sappier than perhaps I like now.
young undergrad in the bathroom at WSU, talking to her pal: "Remember that song....Danke Schoen? How'd that go....(sings) Danke Schoen, Darlin'....Danke Schoen...oooo, I'm killing it! If Wayne Newman could hear me, he'd be sick!"
I got a good chuckle outta that one.
I got a good chuckle outta that one.
:blush: I had to google it :blush:
Amusing me today is that I bought Roger's Profanisaurus for my nephew. Well, it was £2.99 on eBay, he's 12 and finds bums and farts and poos funny, and he's been having such a hard time of it recently. The only positive thing is he's young enough to cry, so at least he's letting it out.
For those not familiar with this weighty tome of English literature,
here is a sample online.
mud wrestling n. A long and messy battle on the toilet, involving much grunting and groaning, which usually ends in either a fall or a submission.
traffic calming measure n. A turd in the road that could take your exhaust off.
manflaps n. The tiny flaps surrounding the Jap's eye, usually only visible when taking a much needed high pressure piss. The hog's eyelids.
Ingrid rhym. slang. An act of anal excretion. Named after the luscious 'tits out' 'Hammer Horror' actress Ingrid Pitt.
Hmmmm. Might have to hold it back for another year...!
This story, from
365 Tomorrows:
[SIZE=4]You Either Love It Or You Hate It[/SIZE]
January 21st, 2010
Author : Phill English
‘Gaeriy, I’ve got some bad news.’
‘What’s that Broux?’
‘Well, I’ve finished the calculations and it turns out that in order for us to co-habit this planet, we’re going to have to wipe out half of them.’
‘Oh, wow, that’s a bit of a bummer isn’t it? Don’t you think that we could just, y’know, “accidentally” wipe them all this time?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous, it’s against the preservation laws to extinguish any more life than–’
‘–is absolutely necessary to begin co-habitation. Yes, I know. In that case, how do you plan to split them up?’
‘That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. At first I thought gender, but then I remembered the trouble Mihrv had with Grabble-4.’
‘Yes, I can’t believe he managed to choose the one gender that was essential to reproduction. Out of fifty three! Got to feel for the poor guy, the preservationists weren’t happy.’
‘Exactly. As such, we need something completely arbitrary and inconsequential so those guys don’t drop a sanction on our planet fall.’
‘Okay, how about a physical feature? Ocular pigmentation?’
‘No, I’ve done some research on the matter and it appears there’s no clear divide on the pigmentation spectrum. The majority of their body features are similarly unsuitable due to mutations throughout their evolution.’
‘Oh. How inconvenient. Actually, have we mapped their neural networks yet?’
‘Yes, quite extensively. There weren’t a lot of variables to take into the equation to be honest.’
‘Right, so that would include their preferences for material possessions? Their ‘taste’ in products?’
‘That’s correct, I think I can see where you’re going with this line of questioning.’
‘Yes, I’ve definitely got it now. We can’t go forward on this for a decade or so of their time, right?’
‘Indeed. The paperwork has to be couriered to Splunk-1 and back, otherwise we’d be down there already.’
‘So in the meantime we’re stuck here twiddling our thumbs and taking in the myriad boring lives of the inhabitants. I reckon we can kill two bwarks with one thuk here. Say we create a product especially engineered to divide a particular cultural population in half. We beam it down into the heads of an ambitious entrepreneur and let the magic happen. When an inhabitant expresses their preference for or against the product, we record it. It’ll occupy our time until we’ve got the paperwork done, and once it arrives we’ll have essentially had them make the decision for us. Best of all, I’m pretty sure there’ll be no red tape to wade through with the ethics committee!’
‘Sounds good to me. Just one thing, which group would get vaporised?’
‘Oh I don’t know, let’s just say that those who enjoy the products are safe.’
‘And you don’t think they would be annoyed at what they might perceive as being a pretty random way of splitting a population in half?’
‘No, of course not. If they are we’ll just ask them if they could have thought of a better way. That’ll shut them up.’
‘I love it. We can get started straight away. Let’s start with this tiny island mass here. What do you think they’d go for?’
* * *
Brian pulled the shopping trolley over in the condiments aisle. His girlfriend stopped a little bit ahead of him, the shopping list in her hand raised in query.
‘I’m just getting something for my toast.’
‘That stuff? Yuck! How can you possibly stomach it?’
‘I don’t know. For some reason I’ve just always liked it.’
With a shrug, he placed the jar of Marmite into the trolley and pushed on.
Taking care of a pre-( not so bad yet ) Alzheimers parent can make you feel as if its catching.
I'm searching for threads about 'firewalls' and I see more than two ancient threads from non contributing members people dislike.A LOT
...so where are the conversations about firewalls. lol
Firewalls
I find it slightly amusing that after purchasing a firewall you have to pay to upgrade in a year. THE PIRATES!
Just got an email from the school principal about the survey they sent out a few weeks ago about how much volunteering families do in the school. Apparently they can't get any families who don't do any volunteering at all to spend the time to fill in the survey :lol:
As part of my job I have to verify the city/state a store is in. I just had to ask a store manager if he was in "Cumming, GA"
Yeah, spelled like that.
I just barely got it said without laughing, it was really hard though.
You should have asked "Are you in the middle of Cumming?" and when he said "Yes" you should have said "Well I'll wait for you to finish"
I just billed out a deal for a customer with the last name Mook. no really.
This piece.
It's only January, but Nancy Grace is a strong contender for "Hypocrite of the Year."
The woman who will exploit anything for ratings — everything from slaughtered children to abused spouses — has suddenly decided that some people deserve privacy. Namely, her.
Grace and her attorneys tried to ban cameras from recording her deposition about the local woman, Melinda Duckett, who killed herself after Grace interviewed her about Duckett's missing son.
Perhaps Grace knows all too well how she might fare herself in the trage-tainment arena she helped create. In fact, let's imagine this …
Host: Tonight we've got shocking — I mean shocking! — news about talk-show host Nancy Grace. She doesn't want America to see her answer questions. And the only possible explanation is that she's guilty and should go to prison … or should she? That's the subject of tonight's show. And we have a spectacular panel to talk about all this. Let's start with Samantha Smalltime, a local radio host for a tiny radio station in Central Florida who has been following this case. Samantha, is Nancy evil?
Samantha: Oh my, I haven't a clue. Seriously, I don't even know much about this case. But what I do know is that I'm just dying to get on TV. So if you want me to say she's guilty, I'm in!
Host: You sound like a smart woman, Samantha. Next up: Jury expert Jim Jarmaine. Jim, can you see any way that a jury wouldn't convict Nancy?
Jim: No way. I wrote a book about juries. [Screen shows copy of book.] And juries hate people who commit crimes. So if Nancy Grace committed a crime, she should fry.
Host: Jim Jarmaine, I like your spunk. Next, we go to a first-time panelist, university professor Annie Anderson. Annie, Jim says Grace should fry. Tell me you agree.
Annie: No I don't agree. And frankly, I'm appalled by this entire conversation. Do you people understand that Nancy Grace hasn't even been charged with a crime? This is a civil proceeding. And the way you're trying to jump to conclusions and exploit this tragic case is so unseemly and unprofessional that …
Host: [Interrupts] Sorry, Annie. Gotta stop you, because I just got word that my little twins are celebrating their one-and-seven-eighths birthday. [Screen shows twin toddlers.] These two babies are angels on earth, my dear viewers. And it's only thanks to you, your prayers — and because you're watching this show — that they are healthy. OK, back to Samantha. Samantha, what were you saying?
Samantha: Whatever you want.
Host: Smart girl. Jim, in your book [screen shows book again], you say that juries like life, and that anyone who helps end a life is in for a heap of trouble, right?
Jim: You bet. That's why Nancy Grace should just spare taxpayers the cost of a trial, and turn herself in.
Annie: What? You people aren't even making sense. I mean, seriously, there's no crime alleged here. And even if there were, wouldn't it make more sense to wait for all the facts before ….
Host: [Interrupts] I'll tell you who doesn't like waiting: My viewers and Lady Justice, as well as my precious twins when it comes to spreading joy in the world. [Screen shows new picture of twins.] That's who I care about.
Annie: What? Listen, if anyone should be aware of the pitfalls of declaring someone guilty before all the evidence is out, it's you! Remember when you essentially declared the Duke lacrosse team being guilty of "gang rape" — even though it was later proven that the entire case against them was a farce?
Host: Sorry, Annie, but it's "Troop Time" — that special part of my program when I start showing pictures of service members who were killed in battle. It's especially helpful when I'm losing ground. Because, really, who has the nerve to criticize me when I'm honoring fallen soldiers? OK, next up, we have former FBI profiler Mark Madsen. Mark, profilers know when people are guilty, right?
Mark: You bet. It's all in my book.
Host: And what do your years of experience tell you about Nancy Grace trying to avoid cameras?
Mark: Guilty. No other explanation.
Annie: What a minute. Nancy Grace has every right to file a motion, trying to keep cameras out of her deposition. This isn't a court hearing. And once again, there's no guilt or innocence in a civil case.
Host: Well, isn't that just what all the rapists and murders want to hear?
Annie: What? Seriously. I don't even understand what you're saying.
Host: Let me tell you something, Annie. On my show, I stand up for victims … and people … and twins. [Screen shows twins again.] And if someone has wronged any of them — any of them — guilt is a factor.
Jim: Juries agree. It's in my book.
Mark: Mine too.
Host: Ok, panel, we're running out of time. So let's take a vote — guilty or very guilty?
Jim: Guilty.
Host: Rob?
Rob: Guilty.
Host: Samantha?
Samantha: Oh goody. Am I on camera again?
Host: I'll take that as a guilty. OK, Annie … [Host pauses for heavy sigh and exaggerated eye roll] … tell me something I want to hear.
Annie: Well, you've made it pretty clear what you want to hear — and it has nothing to do with reality, the presumption of innocence or anything other than exploiting tragedies for mindless entertainment.
Host: [Sighing] Annie, you obviously weren't paying attention when I was talking about my twins.
As part of my job I have to verify the city/state a store is in. I just had to ask a store manager if he was in "Cumming, GA"
Yeah, spelled like that.
I just barely got it said without laughing, it was really hard though.
You should have asked "Are you in the middle of Cumming?" and when he said "Yes" you should have said "Well I'll wait for you to finish"
You should have asked "Are you in the middle of Cumming?" and when he said "Yes" you should have said "IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT BEYONCE GOT THE MOST GRAMMYS OF ALL TIME!!!1"
Thats a good read ya got their Pie.
Perhaps it should have gone in your Karma thread, classic!
Yeh - thought of that. I watched her a few times - OMG I think my eyes started to bleed. Her voice has got to be THE most annoying sound on the planet. Nothing personal, but I couldn't imagine hearing that every time I got home from work or whatever.
When I am ready to bring a customer into my office, I get on the intercom and page the salesman. When I say, for example, "Franklin Smith, come on down!" that's the code that means for them to bring the customer with them.
I'm working on paperwork for one Robert Barker right now.
I am mildly amused.
hmmm.... I have the theme music in this computer too...... should I go over the top, or just ....
hmmm.... I have the theme music in this computer too...... should I go over the top, or just ....
Do it. Because a guy named Bob Barker has never heard Price is Right jokes before
Why don't you offer him a set of free floor mats (or something) if he can guess the correct retail price of undercoating or extended warranty service or something.
EDIT: A day late and a dollar short. Never mind.
While picking up an rx for my mom I picked up a Pepsi. I'm sitting here looking at the label and it says it is a 'Throwback' Pepsi made 'with real sugar-for a limited time' lol
It's amusing using anything real is only for a limited time.
I guess Pepsi started using HFCS in the 80s. I didn't know that!
I mean I didn't realize there was ever a switch. I guess I am not the label reader I thought I was.
Yes I like it better BUT it is probably just nostalgia skewing my perceptions.
I need to do a blind taste test to know for sure. Definite cane sugar taste though.
like a pepsi challenge?
you got a video camera?
I took the pepsi challenge at the NY state fair. I picked pepsi.
I like caffeine free diet coke recently.
I would be curious which I would choose in a challenge though.
No video camera. yay!
Caffeine free diet coke? No caffeine and no sugar(hfcs), why bother? I'd be pinging on the hills, with that stuff. :haha:
Caffeine free diet coke? No caffeine and no sugar(hfcs), why bother? I'd be pinging on the hills, with that stuff. :haha:
well I don't drink it always. I just have it on hand. There is a member of the household who is blessed with the ability to turn sugar and caffeine into an all nighter.
( not me )
I do think it tastes better than the diet coke or any other diet except for the sierra mist diet.
... I'd be pinging on the hills, ...
...whats that mean???
That's what an engine does when the octane of the fuel isn't high enough.
PARSIPPANY – Two out-of-town teenagers were held by police Thursday night after they drew a 25-foot penis in the snow on Parsippany High School’s front lawn, police said.
Parsippany Police Officer Steven Miller saw the 17-year-old boys using their feet to outline the lewd image around 11:30 p.m., said Sgt. Yvonne Christiano, a police spokeswoman. Miller caught them soon after they left the school in a vehicle, she said.
One of the teens, of Boonton, was arrested on a $215 traffic warrant that had been issued in Montville for failing to provide driving documents, she said. He was turned over to his father.
The other teen, of Montville, was ordered to erase the image as Parsippany Police Officer Robert Appel stood by.
Police did not charge the teens, who were not named by authorities.
:lol:
:lol: indeed - teenage lads up to relatively harmless hijinks which the police handled with common sense. The world is not completely insane.
What??? They should have both been handcuffed and committed. :eyebrow:
Silly, but I can admit to being handcuffed as a teen for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They let me go without charges.
It's half-term here, so I knew that I would be the object of some interest in town today. Now I am used to the pre-schoolers saying, without artifice, "Mummy! That lady has pink hair!" and the older schoolkids complimenting me (of course) but I had a new one today.
Young lad said as I passed, "Mum, is that a wig?"
Of course he may have been speaking about someone else with an obvious syrup on the other side of Marks & Spencers... but I'm pretty sure it was about me.
Made me smile anyway.
apparently we have a box of deals upstairs from 2007 that contains deals with last names ranging from DIL-DO
We just had about 2 days worth of mini flocks of Robin's migrate through. I just thought I would let you all who live in the snow that the birds indicate spring is just around the corner.
That's because monster chased them out of Florida with all that inverted roller coaster screaming. ;)
It's sunny and 57 degrees here.
There was a huge flight of Canada geese go buy. I see but mostly hear ducks and geese everyday but this was an enormous group. They darkened the horizon.
Got the Expedition stuck on the icy 2 inch ramp into the beer distributor. The beer guy lol'd
We just had about 2 days worth of mini flocks of Robin's migrate through. I just thought I would let you all who live in the snow that the birds indicate spring is just around the corner.
Oh, yeah. I saw a big flock of Robins hopping around the snowdrifts in a neighbor's yard. I think they just winter here. Too much trouble to fly south. Lazy little bastards.
We have frogs and they are very happy tonight. lol
I had forgotten how many frogs were out this way at night. I remember as a kid it was quite a racket. In that respect along with the geese and ducks it still feels country. Tonight this one frog has found a partner. The tone and the timber are different. I imagine they sound happy and that amuses me.
Got the Expedition stuck on the icy 2 inch ramp into the beer distributor. The beer guy lol'd
:lol: that is sooooo American :D :usa:
We have frogs and they are very happy tonight. lol
I had forgotten how many frogs were out this way at night. I remember as a kid it was quite a racket. In that respect along with the geese and ducks it still feels country. Tonight this one frog has found a partner. The tone and the timber are different. I imagine they sound happy and that amuses me.
We love the sound of the frogs, they have really kicked up in the last 2 weeks, but now now because we are back into a night time cold snap with daily highs in the high 50's. But when they are really chirping the sounds is deafening. Lovely.
We love the sound of the frogs, they have really kicked up in the last 2 weeks, but now now because we are back into a night time cold snap with daily highs in the high 50's. But when they are really chirping the sounds is deafening. Lovely.
Lovely indeed! Same weather pattern here.
amusing even :D
April and May will be warmer than normal, with near-normal rainfall in Washington and drier-than-normal conditions elsewhere.
Summer will be drier than normal, with below-normal temperatures, on average, in Washington and above-normal temperatures in California and Oregon. The hottest periods will occur in late June and mid-July.
September and October will be warmer and drier than normal.
http://www.almanac.com
Birds have started tweeting here ...probably bitching about how I look upside down.....
I'm sure your hair looks just as awesome upside down though. You got that spikey thing going on.
err well the last time I saw a photo anyway.
Mildly amusing me today (last couple of weeks rly) is the Old Spice commercial with 'The Man Your Man Could Smell Like'. At the end he says "I'm on a horse.". I'm ashamed at how funny I find that commercial.
Yeah, that was funny the first couple times I saw it.
He's riding it backwards now.
I'm afraid that jinx might want me to smell like that.
He's riding it backwards now.
H'yaaah!
[YOUTUBE]LpUrz9RvuPk[/YOUTUBE]
While driving to work the other day, I ended up behind a black Mercedes SL 550 with license plate number 69.
While waiting in line at the check-out counter, this little boy, probably 7 or 8 yrs. old, gave me this big grin and said hi. I smiled back and said hi, thinking how friendly this little boy was. He had freckles and some missing teeth. He then put up his hand to his face, thumb and pinky sticking out and mouthed "call me." My sister who was standing next to me found it so hilarious that she gave out a big laugh. I think he was happy with that reaction. :rolleyes: He then said, "This is my brother, this is my father," pointing to them. I wonder why he didn't point to his mom. Anyways, as we were walking over to the next counter because it had less people, he mouthed "call me" again. I've always thought it would be flattering to be hit on by a younger man, but this was not what I had in mind. :eyebrow: :lol:
Tulip, that would make the greatest youtube video ever. :lol2:
I'm glad I made you laugh. :neutral: ...hehe. My sister said I should've taken a picture with the kid. Uh....I don't think so. :rolleyes:
Yeah, he'd think you were going steady and would start stalking you when you didn't call him.
I knew the right-wing talkers would be crapping themselves today...Glenn Beck definitely didn't let me down. Sadly, I didn't get to hear Mark Levin...he probably screamed the entire 3 hours.
I knew the right-wing [COLOR="Red"]extremists [/COLOR]would be crapping themselves today...Glenn Beck ... Mark Levin...
fixed that for ya.
Thanks!
I also didn't get to listen to much of Mike Malloy (who is probably the left's version of Levin)...I heard him rip on Beck a little and that didn't disappoint me either.
Just to clarify, I know not all right-wing talkers are off the deep end...but when I think of right-wing talkers, the first ones that come to mind are the usual suspects (Rush, Hannity, Beck, etc.).
I think thats the general consenus nowadays, syc.
Whoa! Foul! 5 minutes for politicking in nothingland called on Syc.
Shut up before I buttfuck you in the mouth and list you as mildly irritating! ;)
And the team is full strength.....
__________________
""Government is a dangerous servant and a terrible master."George Washington
"Most bad government results from too much government."Thomas Jefferson
[COLOR="Gray"]
Hall of Fame Post [/COLOR]
C's sig line.
Last part, hall of fame post, is invisible. If you want to see what it refers to, you'll have to find his actual sig lines.
:headshake
Come on man. I thought we were all trying to do better. Making it 'passive' doesn't lessen its 'aggressive'.
I found it looking through some old threads.
I thought it was well written, well articulated and accurate post. If I could have taken the names out to protect the guilty, I would have.
I found it funny, especially when reading the reply to it.
Meh.
[COLOR="White"]
:p:What the hell are you doing looking so close at my sig anyway? Sig stalker?:p: [/COLOR]
A post about integrity. That's what I find ironic. :rolleyes:
A post about integrity. That's what I find ironic. :rolleyes:
I posted about integrity. Why would that be ironic?
Should I not aspire to be better than I am?
I wasn't referring to you, sky.
:comfort:
I'm laughing that it's just now hitting the nightly news about the student loan provisions in the health bill.
Well, it's funny to me because we (those of us employed in FA) have seen this coming for a few years now, but I don't think anyone noticed it was happening "out there" however some people are now really pissed!
I've worked with private lenders and I currently work with direct lending. Direct lending isn't new, it was just up to the schools before. I see good things and bad things about both ways, really.
And with the increased loan volume and now even more public scrutiny, you're going to be hearing a lot about default rates (something we address as part of strategy and procedure in our normal work dealings.) I love this job: things are always changing and it's never, ever, boring. :)
It always amuses me when I see maintenance people using the blower in the rain and as it was yesterday, rain and wind!
I would be one of those annoying employees who would ask if there was some better use for my time considering there isn't any debris that is going to be blown away today.
oh and the other thing is to leave bits of paper. I would pick the paper up and maybe use a rake if the blower wasn't effective.
geez and these people have a job!
This could slide into annoyance if I thought about it too much. :)
I think the funniest thing is the search timer results, ie.
Results 1 - 10 of about 125,000,000 for april fool [definition]. (1.02 times the velocity of an unladen swallow)
Still amused by these...
(0.05 nanocenturies)
(11.90 parsecs)
(0.21 microfortnights)
(0.28e+43 Planck times)
(2.00 shakes of a lamb's tail)
(at warp 9.28)
(at 6.47 hertz)
(0.04 nanocenturies)
(23.00 skidoo)
Actually, this happened last weekend but it has been amusing me today.:)
Last Sunday, the nation finally advanced its clocks by an hour at 2am.
Having sauntered down the road for a newspaper and some milk I was on my way back when I heard the town clock strike
six at 9.32am precisely. As far as I am aware, it remained silent for the rest of the day.
It was the sort of thing you might have seen or heard in the background of an early Peter Sellers film.
The offending time piece.
Carruthers
ETA
I hate having to go through the wretched caper of putting the clock forward as it always knackers my body clock. I can get jet-lag without leaving the parish. Due to the differing dates the US and UK change their clocks, for about three weeks we're only four hours ahead of Eastern Time. No real problem but I listen to NPR on the web and it throws my schedule out of the window.
Look, these things matter to a chap.OK? :eyebrow:
Pie and CM being pissed off in the "What's making you happy?",thread ;)
The Onion
Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed
WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the U.S. Department of Education, an increasing number of American parents are choosing to have their children raised at school rather than at home.
Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller said that many parents who school-home find U.S. households to be frightening, overwhelming environments for their children, and feel that they are just not conducive to producing well-rounded members of society.
Thousands of mothers and fathers polled in the study also believe that those running American homes cannot be trusted to keep their kids safe.
"Every year more parents are finding that their homes are not equipped to instill the right values in their children," Miller said. "When it comes to important life skills such as proper nutrition, safe sex, and even basic socialization, a growing number of mothers and fathers think it's better to rely on educators to guide and nurture their kids."
HA HA HA HA HA THAT IS AWESOME!
and kinda true
Check out the photo caption:
Parents of school-homed children say they relish the extra time they are able to spend away from their kids.
that's fucking hysterical.
that's fucking hysterical.
It's funny because it's true.
yup. The further you get into the article the truer it gets.
"It's really a matter of who has more experience in dealing with my child," Cincinnati- resident Kevin Dufrense said of his decision to have his 10-year-old son Jake, who suffers from ADHD and dyslexia, school-homed. "These teachers are dealing with upwards of 40 students in their classrooms at a time, so obviously they know a lot more about children than someone like me, who only has one son and doesn't know where he is half the time anyway."
The Graham Norton Show...
The guy is an absoulte hoot.
Tonight's hockey game.
It's the first season after aging up into a level where they can check. Unbeknown to us parents, the coach told the team he'd give the boy with the most checks a Gatorade. My friend and I watched in amusement and surprise as her large but sweet and placid son started "bringing it on" with a few players -an elbow here, a slam there, at one point we thought he was about to start a fight.... and then he slammed a player into the boards so hard they stopped the game while they picked him up (player was ok). Naughty Kevin went to the penatly box, up he went on the board, then the ref stopped the game again to declare that it was actually two penalties to run one consecutively so 4 minutes in the box.... and then we saw the coach patting Naughty Kevin on the back, and then after the game the coach gave him his reward, multiple fist bumps and was all over how much his game had improved.... My poor friend was proud and mad at the same time. And very conflicted. I just find it funny. Amusing me no end. Probably not so much when it's my kid, although given he's literally half the weight of his buddy Kevin, it probably ain gonna happen.....
lol - Seen that a time or two around here as well.
One note of caution, YOUR kid, being smaller, will be the target of the other teams players. Keep him working on his skating and agility. There is nothing better for your boy to see the big kid coming, move quickly and seeing the big kid end up checking himself into the boards.
Get the boy a switchblade hockey stick.;)
The MIL is arriving today for her birthday visit and she just called to say she was leaving. She called just as "Lucifer" by the Alan Parsons Project began playing.
Talk about an "At Bat" song!
Mildly amusing me today (although I suspect it will wear thin over the next few weeks) is the media hysteria surrounding the Melbourne Storm.
The Storm are a rugby league club, founded in the mid-1990s as part of the superleague shennanigans.
Turns out they have been deliberately cheating the salary cap. Careful, calculated, deliberate cheating; two sets of books, hidden in a secret file in the secret safe, kind of cheating. Been at it for years.
Now that it has come out, they have been thoroughly spanked: stripped of two premierships, three minor premierships, all associated prize money (well over $1 mil), fined $500,000, stripped of all this years points, and not eligible to win any points for the rest of this year.
Ouch. But still, they were deliberately cheating. It is quite possible that the club will collapse under this and never rise again.
I find it amusing for two reasons. The whole club was born when aggressive business muscled its way into sport. Now folks seem startled that they were doing business just like, well, business. No kiddin?
The other source of amusement is how the media are in a tizz about it all as if it really mattered. The Biggest Scandal in Australian Sport Evah!!!
Yawn.
Given what rugby league players get up to (steroids, drugs, drunkenness, public violence, rape, gang rape ...) this is really quite mild.
That's because you're not a fan. Imagine what LJ would do if it happened to the Cowboys.
Given what rugby league players get up to (steroids, drugs, drunkenness, public violence, rape, gang rape ...) this is really quite mild.
American football has similar problems. I find the disconnects startling. The team I follow got rid of a guy for smoking dope but have so far hung on to a guy who is an unproven but obvious serial rapist.
Yehbut....drugs are bad, mmmkay?
It never ceases to amaze me that people (by which I of course mean the media :P) seem regularly to be, as Zen suggests, surprised when a business enters a previously unbusinesslike area and then that area starts to become businesslike. With all that this implies.
We recently had a media storm of our own that, frankly, surprised me somewhat. The captain of the England team (football) was found to have serially cheated on his wife. And in particular that one of the women he cheated with was the partner of a team member. Reaching absurd proportions when people (by which I mean the press and a few particularly vocal individuals) began calling for his removal or resignation as Captain, not on the grounds of poor captaincy (arguably fucking a team mate's girl could be considered at the very least an unforgivable faux pas); but, rather on the grounds of immorality. He ended up stepping down from the role.
Quite aside from the irritation of various public figures waxing lyrical about the moral role of a captain and footballer; having every red top paper salivating over the details of the affairs, as aided by helpful ex-conquests in shag-and-tell exclusives, was unpleasant. The exclusives I'd have expected; but the moral panic seemed a little over the top:P
Wait, Tiger Woods plays football for England too? Or should England be "En-gland"?
Yeah, the star player and Captain of an Aussie rules team had a similar situation, being sprung bonking the vice-captain's wife in the toilet at a pre-season party. Had to resign, but came back the next year for a different team.
I just found out I will be supervising the new position we are interviewing for today.
Ha! I said, when I took this job, yeah I don't want to be in charge of anyone anymore.
It won't be bad. I feel like I should ask for more cash.
Just make sure you teach them wrong - for your own amusement.
I shall teach them to drape their countenances in the finest of pancakes.
We could skip this afternoon's interview: this first woman was awesome! The director and asst director thought so too. The afternoon interview is with a current employee from another office on campus. She will really need to BRING IT.
Mildly amusing me today (although I suspect it will wear thin over the next few weeks) is the media hysteria surrounding the Melbourne Storm.
The Storm are a rugby league club, founded in the mid-1990s as part of the superleague shennanigans.
Turns out they have been deliberately cheating the salary cap. Careful, calculated, deliberate cheating; two sets of books, hidden in a secret file in the secret safe, kind of cheating. Been at it for years.
Now that it has come out, they have been thoroughly spanked: stripped of two premierships, three minor premierships, all associated prize money (well over $1 mil), fined $500,000, stripped of all this years points, and not eligible to win any points for the rest of this year.
Ouch. But still, they were deliberately cheating. It is quite possible that the club will collapse under this and never rise again.
I find it amusing for two reasons. The whole club was born when aggressive business muscled its way into sport. Now folks seem startled that they were doing business just like, well, business. No kiddin?
The other source of amusement is how the media are in a tizz about it all as if it really mattered. The Biggest Scandal in Australian Sport Evah!!!
Yawn.
Given what rugby league players get up to (steroids, drugs, drunkenness, public violence, rape, gang rape ...) this is really quite mild.
That'll teach you to follow or care about League...
Should have been following Union. ;)
Hey, I never said I cared about it. It was just in the news.
But yes, Union clubs are much better scandal-wise. I wouldn't be surprised if they are cheating in some way, but they'll be clever and discrete enough to not get caught.
One of my corporate contracts has picked up a client that has offices in the UK, and would like their voiceover audio for those modules to be done with a British accent.
But they really don't want to deal with finding new voicetalent if they don't have to. So they told me to go ahead and record a sample and see if the client is convinced.
I have absolutely no idea if it'll fly. I haven't practiced a serious accent since high school theatre. It's gonna be nuts if I get recurring work off this.
I hope you'll post a sample.
You can do it easily, Clod. It's more about intonation than pronunciation. Brits have so many different accents that if you get the vowels un-americanized, speak at a reasonable pace, and stress the right syllables, it'll be fine.
One thing I have noticed about impersonating accents is that they often drift through regional dialects. Someone doing a "British" accent might start Queen's English, slide into Educated London, drift into Cockney, and meander through Yorkshire to Scottish, aye?
It might help to have a specific person whose accent you are mimicking in mind - maybe even a picture of them in front of you - to keep you on track.
Oh, stuff it, just drop a lot of "I say" and "Don't you know" and "old chap" into the text. ;)
hehe. just go for educational american, but faster and stress the other syllable.
:lol:
Bwitish? Bwitish? Moy dear chap, if oy was any moah Bwitish, oy wouldn't be abuw to talk at awll.
That is so cool, I want one for my shark-crazy son but ......it COSTS $200!
I just realized that my little Portia [ who died recently] was featured on the cover of 2010 BT mini calendar this year and I did not even know! She was 3 months old here
http://www.calendars.com/catalog/product.jsp?navCount=1&productId=prod123478&
She is also in another 2010 calendar I cannot seem to find, I saw on my friend's wall, she and her litter sister are on the month of May.
Thats great! How wonderful. Happy for you.
Everything is amuseful today.
There really IS no sense crying over spilled milk. Who'd've thunk?
:lol2:
Don't cry for me, I'm from Xenia.
Not really, but I'd like you to cry for me. kthxbai
Hey, I never said I cared about it. It was just in the news.
But yes, Union clubs are much better scandal-wise. I wouldn't be surprised if they are cheating in some way, but they'll be clever and discrete enough to not get caught.
Back in University I once asked classmate, who played on the University team, what the differenece between League and Union was, he replied "one is a game for thugs played by gentleman, the other a game for thugs played by thugs", I forget which he said was which.
One of my corporate contracts has picked up a client that has offices in the UK, and would like their voiceover audio for those modules to be done with a British accent.
My first thought is why, Brits are plenty used to hearing american accent, I would have thought a well enunciated regionaly neutral american accent would work just fine for most applications.
[SIZE="3"]Shark Sleeping Bag[/SIZE]
Uh, you mean dolphin sleeping bag?
I've always wanted one of these, but I would not prop myself up against a tree in one, that'd be asking to be shot!
We've always wanted to see you in your bare costume.
Everything is amuseful today.
There really IS no sense crying over spilled milk. Who'd've thunk?
:lol2:
One thing making me happy is that a SES kid in my class has not intentionally dumped milk on the floor in two weeks. Go me.
I've always wanted one of these, but I would not prop myself up against a tree in one, that'd be asking to be shot!
I saw a little black bear Thursday afternoon. :)
I'm laugh'n
@ ....private joke.
I would say but it isn't nice. Just funny as hell.
I almost forgot.
Earlier this week there was a baby squirrel hanging on my outside door frame. It was making loud vocal noises. I don't know what the word is for screaming type noises coming from squirrels are called. More than chattering. It was frightened. I was worried it had rabies. It jumped down. I thought at first it was going to run in through my door but then it ran away. I think the neighbors cat chased it. It was amusing in that squirrels don't let themselves be cornered like that or act like it is going to come into your house for safe haven.
( barring attics of course! )
Today I opened a survey envelop. Inside there was a five dollar bill. wtf! I think someone must have accidentally scooped their lunch money up while stuffing envelopes. I want to fill out the survey and sent the five dollars back but unless it got back to the person who lost the money the joke would be lost. I don't know what to do with it. I don't want someones lost money.
Maybe it is some kind of psychological experiment to see what people do with the five dollars.
We've gotten surveys with money in them, transportation surveys. It is an incentive to actually fill out the damn survey and be truthful instead putting down things like "Heywood Jablome"
In total, I think we got about 17 dollars. It was weird and really random amounts, like $5, $3, $7.
Psychologically, it works better to dole out multiple small (but unpredictable) amounts, because people subconsciously like playing the lottery. If you know for sure this task will net you $2 and nothing more, you might not bother. But if you don't know for sure that the next one won't contain $20...
How funny. I've never received surveys with money in them before.
I read the cover letter and it does say that a money has been included for my time.
The survey is a result of having put myself on the waiting list for health insurance lottery but after filling it out I feel I am too healthy to ask for insurance,when there are so many people in actual need. Not only that, by the time my random name gets picked I'll be employed again and won't need it anyway.
I checked out the website.It does say those people put on the waiting list in 08. I was employed then and did not put myself on any waiting list until I had an ear infection 4 months ago.
https://www.oregonhealthstudy.org/en/home.phpPoor Victor! :thepain: He got to meet the electric fence today and he was not impressed! :shock: I was walking with Victor on a longline and Suede my cattle dog loose, and Suede went under the electric fence and naturally Victor wanted to go but, it got his ear or nose and he was sure that Suede was an evil magic dog! :shocking: He shot to the end of the longline and I did a recall [poor baby] :hug: and he got over it pretty quickly but I did have to prove to him that Suede was not Electro dog. :bitching::lol:
Mama guppy dropped off about 10 fry in the turtle tank today. They're about 3mm long. They will probably be et, by turtle or other fish, but it's strangely fun to watch the process.
The turtle has signed a non-aggression pact with the other guppies. Not hunting them for sport, nor for food.
The turtle has signed a non-aggression pact with the other guppies. Not hunting them for sport, nor for food.
Or perhaps the turtle is smart and realizes that the parent guppies are producing food.
The fry are all et. The tank is not big enough for them to hide. The population is already too big for its area.
Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning last night and it burned to the ground.
This is amusing to me.
I thought that was scorching your grove - what ever that means.
I thought that was scorching your grove - what ever that means.
That's something to do with a burning bush, isn't it?
That's something to do with a burning bush, isn't it?
That was Cheney.
I thought that was scorching your grove -
It does both.
So I'm taking defensive driving online, and I was surprised to discover that a childhood friend is the hostess of my 6-hour video. Then, a few minutes in, they interviewed one of my college professors... I'm waiting with baited breath to see if I know anyone else in this dang thing.
My granddaughter has been living with her aunt who is a trauma nurse.
The g-daughter got a ticket for not wearing her seat belt.
The g-daughter has to take a 3-hr course on driving safety.
Guess who teaches the course...
Tonight I'm just mildly amusing myself.
My granddaughter has been living with her aunt who is a trauma nurse.
The g-daughter got a ticket for not wearing her seat belt.
The g-daughter has to take a 3-hr course on driving safety.
Guess who teaches the course...
:)
This morning I finally understood the true difference between men and women in the way they communicate:
Wife: Bill, come watch TV with me
Bill: Sits down on the couch
Wife: Would you like a cup of coffee ?
Bill: No, I just finished a cup
significant pause...
Wife: Well, will you get me one
So I'm taking defensive driving online
This is "classroom" (or whatever) only? There's no actual driving practice?
normally there isn't AFAIK. Its just a moneymaking scheme. Having it done online just saves them even more money.
There's never been actual driving involved in defensive driving, at least not in Texas. I remember even back in the 80s you could rent the 6 hours' worth of VHS tapes from Blockbuster and mail in your quiz results to prove you watched them. But my understanding is that the state doesn't make any money off of the actual classes, which are all offered by private companies.
Did you do a bad thing, then Clodfobble? or you just fancied trying to improve your skills?
I got caught speeding, through a tiny town between here and Houston where the speed limit secretly drops to 55 for about a mile, then goes back to 70.
Of course, I would have been going above the limit even if the signs had stayed at 70...
When I worked for Dupont, everyone was required to take the course in the evening at a high school, or you couldn't drive on company time.
Don't most people take it for a discount on their auto insurance? I believe you only need take it every three years. Seems worth it to me.
I believe you only need take it every three years.
Yeah, that's about how often I take it, but it's never been for insurance. :blush:
Helping out the
neighborsMy wife, Edy, and I were sitting on the couch and our chocolate Lab, Vicky, started licking herself the way dogs do.
Edy yelled, "Vicky, Stop that ! If you're going to do that, do it somewhere else ! "
Vicky looked up quite defiantly, and I thought I heard her say under her breath:
"If you think you can do it better, come over hear and do it yourself ! "
Best abstract ever:
Kotzee, Ben (2007) Our Vision and our Mission: Bullshit, Assertion and Belief. S. Afr. J. Philos. Vol 26 No 2 pp 163-175.
Abstract
“Bullshit”, as Harry Frankfurt writes in his recent book, On Bullshit, is a communication that pretends to be genuinely informative, but really is not. The person who talks bullshit, Frankfurt holds, is unconcerned with whether what he says is true, but is very concerned with how he is thought of by the listener. In this paper, I discuss Frankfurt's theory of bullshit, making specific reference to the requirement for deceptive intent on the part of the bullshitter, and to whether bullshitting must involve conscious dishonesty. Some choice examples of bullshit are nosed and the question of whether Frankfurt really has it in for postmodernism is addressed.
Vouched for as genuine by yours truly. Frankfurt (2005) On Bullshit is a real book and is in my uni library.
that belongs in the politics thread.
I get an average of 50-60 phone calls and roughly 100 emails a day. I'm very good at responding and organizing (I apologize if I sound like a braggart - that's not my intention). Anyway, yesterday afternoon I busied out both my incoming lines - that was fun :D
...and my email. Ohhh... I was a bad boy. I forwarded it to my boss - all of it! :D:D ...and he's on vacation!!! :D:D:D For a week! Oops!
I'm going home pretty soon and I'm calling in sick tomorrow.
Sometimes rebellion has a sweet flavor.
They won't fire me. Not that I'm indespensible - I'm not. I'm just too reliable.
Overheard in town today, two old wifies:
"You can't even tell what colour girls are these days, what with sunbeds and fake tans"
I think she meant you can't tell a girl's ethnic heritage.
Because after all you CAN tell what colour she is. You just have to look.
HAGGIZ!!!! So close, but yet so far.
Space Exploration Monster Boy.
I also have a three minute video of his monologue as he narrates his adventures, but it's somewhat shaky as I was lmao silently so he wouldn't notice me videoing :D
.
Looks like he's about to frib some aconite.
HAGGIZ!!!! So close, but yet so far.
They need to hurry up the development of a reliable Android screenshot app; I've taken pictures of my phone with a friend's phone and then sent it to my own phone too many times, I'm always afraid I'm going to get sucked into a black hole.
Very serious business.
Never moreso.
They need to hurry up the development of a reliable Android screenshot app; I've taken pictures of my phone with a friend's phone and then sent it to my own phone too many times, I'm always afraid I'm going to get sucked into a black hole.
Indeed. I looked up instructions, and it involves doing arcane things with the Android Software Development Kit--which I actually already had installed on my computer. But I didn't have time to deal with it.
Looks like he's about to frib some aconite.
My favorite is the beagle roast.
(JEEZ!! Can't you people take a joke??)
I'm just really glad my parents didn't name me after a snack cracker. (Student first name, any guesses?)
And I really want to see the video of space kid, monster. I bet it is hilarious! No worries about it being shaky. :)
Funny kid.
snack cracker. (Student first name, any guesses?)
Not Triscuit. Is it Ritz?
Nope. :)
It may not be a well known cracker. It's not a famous cracker like, say...Huey Long. :lol:
It may not be a well known cracker.
Chicken in a bisket? :D
Well over here we have Jacobs Crackers.
But that is far too normal.
Animal?
Cheez-it.
I'll work on the vid as soon as I'm done with my paperwork. Yup procrastinated until the last minute again. Back to earth in about an hour, i reckon
Not cheez-it (though I was so hoping someone would guess that!)
I'll look forward to the video.
Not cheez-it (though I was so hoping someone would guess that!)
I'll look forward to the video.
Saltine? Uneeda Biscuit? Wheat Thin? Stoned Wheat? Cracked Pepper? Table Water? Town House? Club?
Graham?
Oh, that's a good one. It's a real name too. I know two of them.
You guys are good! But no cigar.
I don't know if anyone wants to keep guessing. I'll hide the answer below:
[COLOR="White"]Waverly[/COLOR]
It's actually kind of a cool name, but all I could think of was the cracker.
A lover's quarrel. Hahahahahahaaaaaa!
Funny to watch from afar.
I have no interest in their make-up sex, though.
:corn:
I got chewed out this moring for forwarding my email to my boss last week.
He he he... <snicker> Fuck it.
I off work today with a cold. Meh. I was sitting at my desk, glanced out the window. There is an oval/sports field across the road. The sprinklers were on - in winter, huh? Then I saw two guys in hi-vis work jackets wandering about, obviously checking the sprinkler functions. I was watching at just the right moment to see another sprinkler power up and squirt a jet of water right into the head of one of the workmen. :lol: I shouldn't laugh at others' misfortunes, but c'mon, conscience, that was funny.
And there you have a moment of zen. :)
PDX Local TV News says there's a pregnant woman already in labor stuck inside an elevator...with her claustrophobic husband !
Watching my youngest child struggle with the frustration of organization that my wife has done for her for the last 18 years. Pretty amusing.
Overheard:
"I've got the mother of all back-ups ready!"
12yo daughter RFN.
:lol:
Shitty people who constantly complain about other while doing exactly that which they are complaining about.
You should find ways to love yourself anyway. :comfort:
ew, I didn't need that image......
Friend of a friend story: :blush: Today in the staff room, someone (not naming any names) burnt their toast. The smoke alarm didn't go off audibly in the actual room, but large numbers of people suddenly seemed to be exiting the building. When the culprit tried to inform people that really there was no need as it was only burnt toast, the person in question discovered that it was too late-once the alarm has gone off, a train of events is set in motion that involves evacuation and the fire station personnel coming to check that everything really is ok. Very, very embarrassing, but sort of funny at the same time. One of the bigwigs in the building, completely of his own volition, sent out an email to all staff saying how well the fire drill had gone.
I woke up this morning and the dog was sleeping under my pillow. Only her head was sticking out.
She will burrow under covers whenever she can, but under the pillow is a new one.
She's 13 pounds, so she fits nicely, and my pillow is too thin anyway.
Pico likes to burrow too. I dont know how many times he was almost squashed when my husband would get into bed. I guess it boils down the the fact that those little dogs just dont have enough heat generating meat on their bones.
Yeah yeah. Pearl has an old ripped sleeping bag in my office, where she sleeps while I'm working/cellaring/etc. As part of her morning routine, she waits for me to lift it up to create a cave that she can get into. After two hours in this -0°F rated bag, it's boiling under there, and she loves it.
I woke up this morning and the dog was sleeping under my pillow. Only her head was sticking out.
She will burrow under covers whenever she can, but under the pillow is a new one.
She's 13 pounds, so she fits nicely, and my pillow is too thin anyway.
Very cute, but we would've like the story better with a picture. :D
Pics or it didn't happen.
My prescription insurance company is so on top of things, they can send me a letter of explanation as to why they can't reimburse my claim inside the very same envelope as the reimbursement for that claim.
Ohhh Clod - I so feel your pain.
Yeah, but I did get the check after all, so it's in the amusing thread and not the irritating thread. :)
Obviously their new envelope sharing program has created the savings necessary so they can pay additional claims. It probably took a program director and 6 program managers to get that change in place.
Today I learned that Insurance companies who make payments in September may retract them in July, yes almost a year later. For what is apparently no reason. Isn't that special.
Pissed off people pissing on each other as they post about their angst on Craigs list. funny as hell.
Today I learned that Insurance companies who make payments in September may retract them in July, yes almost a year later. For what is apparently no reason. Isn't that special.
OH I forgot to add that they then send ME the bill telling me its now my responsibility... Uh? No. Fill out your paperwork properly and there wouldn't have been an issue in the first place.
She will burrow under covers whenever she can, but under the pillow is a new one.
One of my relatives has a cat that they got from the people who run the dump-apparently she was poisoned earlier in her life which accounts for her odd behaviour. She's a cantankerous thing, hates being picked up and protests very loudly whenever someone tries to do this, but she loves being under the covers and quite often you'll find her in the bed where she stays all night and is even magnanimous enough to purr. Once morning arrives though, she's off and doesn't want to know you.
Well, do you hang around with your hot water bottle during the day? :lol:
She's a cantankerous thing, hates being picked up and protests very loudly whenever someone tries to do this, but she loves being under the covers and quite often you'll find her in the bed where she stays all night and is even magnanimous enough to purr. Once morning arrives though, she's off and doesn't want to know you.
I knew a girl once....
Well, do you hang around with your hot water bottle during the day? :lol:
On target as always, Bruce.
Wait for it.... Wait for it....
(probably unlikely to be NSFW but contains poultry double entendre)
I just watched Max (18 months old) pull the puppy (4 months) out of the doghouse by the ears then poke her in the direction he wanted her to go. She didn't complain, but just had a look of resignation on her face. Poor dog. lol
I just watched Max (18 months old) pull the puppy (4 months) out of the doghouse by the ears then poke her in the direction he wanted her to go. She didn't complain, but just had a look of resignation on her face. Poor dog. lol
Pics of puppy so we can imagine it.
[ATTACH]29509[/ATTACH]
This was her the day we got her. I've got more on the camera, so I could post them some time after I download them. She's a lot bigger now. She was six weeks old in this pic.
Soooooooooooooooo cute. What is she? Do her and Max get along well generally?
[ATTACH]29510[/ATTACH]
[ATTACH]29511[/ATTACH]
Here's a couple of Max and the dogs in the front yard.
The puppy (Cleo) is about 3 1/2 months old now, so she's learning a few things. She's never snapped once at anyone including Max, so we're pleased that she has a good nature. She's a bit of a mongrel dog. She's got great dane, bull mastiff, ridgeback and some bull arab in the mix, so she's going to be a big dog, but that's what we wanted anyway.
As you can see, there's no way Max could have pulled her out of the house unless she decided to move herself. I was just impressed that she put up with it. It must have hurt.
gotta ask about those culverts. Is that a common Aussie thing or is it something to do with your husband's work? Looks like swiss chard in one of them, squash in the other.
Do you always leave your Sybian out where the neighbors can see ?:eek:
They're not to do with Dazza's work. In fact, he hates gardening believe it or not. He's more interested in killing fish for relaxation.
We've got a range of things including what we call rainbow chard or silverbeet, squash, zucchini, eggplant, strawberries, beetroot, and the one at the far end where Max is standing is mostly lettuce and cabbage. There are also tomato seedlings in all three at the back.
We planted them out about 6 weeks ago and are just about to start harvesting zucchini and squash, and we've already had strawberries, chard and salad greens.
About the commonality of them, not too many people have them, but they're becoming more popular because for one thing, you don't have to bend over so far for the weeding. Another for me is that it keeps the dogs off the beds (somewhat). Also, we have very sandy soil, so I needed to put a fair bit of mulch and stuff in to keep the beds damp enough and be a bit more water efficient.
Do you always leave your Sybian out where the neighbors can see ?:eek:
Oh yes. Sometimes I even sit on it when they're in their yards. They always think it's funny. :) It used to have two prongs, but one of them got broken during some rough play one day.
Oh yes. Sometimes I even sit on it when they're in their yards. They always think it's funny. :) It used to have two prongs, but one of them got broken during some rough play one day.
Hopefully, you were able to find it.:eek:
Does Cleo snuffle? I love dogs that snuffle(-actually I love most dogs). Last night went to dinner at a place with a staffie. While they're not the most aesthetically appealing dogs, their personalities do grow on you.
She snores really loudly. I'm afraid of what volume she's going to hit when she gets old.
Then it will be time to employ the cone of silence.
Or earplugs. lol
I used to sleep with them in all the time before Max and I had very good sleep. The boys are all away at my dad's place for a week atm, and last night was the first night in 18 months I'd been able to sleep with them in.
It was bliss. I woke after a lazy sleep in feeling refreshed and happy. :)
We Finished a Big Job today ,
Many thousand feet of cable run , so far in fact we had to remote out every thing
Scale Indicator( The terminal ,)
Remote displays
remote Scale Indicator ( hooked Across a Big warehouse )
Traffic lights
Inter com , etc
For the Last 3 days I have been dealing with Electricians to run the conduit and Pull the wire ,
I Hung and Hooked up All this and it Worked !!
4 other guys have been dealing with Moving the truck scale , I haven't been paying Much Attention to what was going on Out side because I had Plenty to deal with as it was ,
They have been Borrowing tools and Jacks , etc,,,
This After noon After I Got every thing Else finished I went out there ,
they were Standing around TALKING about what to do ,
I stood there for a sec then started Looking around , walked back over , my Boss asked Well what do YOU Think ?
I said do you want me to Fix it ??
He said yeah , what can I do to help ??
You and You take Off the cover plates,
You Go get the wrenches ,
you go get the test truck ,
I'll grab the Straps and Jack , Move !!
Every body Moved except ,,,
My boss and another dude were Who i sad go take care of the cover Plates ,
other dude said , now wait a sec Brother , what are you going to do ??
My boss grabbed him by the shoulder spun him around , and said , Shut up and do what he says , You DON'T want to piss him OFF !!
I just stoood there for a sec with a grin on My face .
We Fixed the scale in 2 hrs
Not bad for a Monday ;)
That shit-eatin' grin makes 'em think you're not serious, got to growl once in a while. :D
Or earplugs. lol
I used to sleep with them in all the time before Max and I had very good sleep. The boys are all away at my dad's place for a week atm, and last night was the first night in 18 months I'd been able to sleep with them in.
It was bliss. I woke after a lazy sleep in feeling refreshed and happy. :)
I honestly don't know how mothers (parents) manage when they go for weeks without a good sleep. I would go absolutely psycho. You have my utter admiration.
Fathers have utter, mothers have udder.
Bruce, if you're not moderating in three months, who is going to come up with these replies??? We will be bereft.
Yeah...specially after all the other yanks go to bed. lol
Oh and Casi...I did go psycho remember? lol
That's cause I've never been intollerably irritating right Bruce? ;)
Yeah...specially after all the other yanks go to bed. lol
Oh and Casi...I did go psycho remember? lol
yeah, but it was through the filter of 10, 000km and the Pacific Ocean (for me anyway).
Depends who you ask Ali!! :p
Yeah I know mate. I actually think there just may have been times Bruce has been pretty irritated with my presence. ;)
Yeah...specially after all the other yanks go to bed. lol
Oh and Casi...I did go psycho remember? lol
BTW lactation consultant family member is off in Timor somewhere spreading the word about her "train the baby in biomechanical feeding techniques that suit both mother and baby". I wonder how she's going.
You know, just having those emails from her and you really helped me. not in the way people would expect, but it just gave me that little bit of a push to just keep trudging on and waiting for the light to shine through.
I don't know if I've ever thanked you for your help casi, but it was so lovely of you to care. xox
You did thank me and I'm really, really glad it helped.
Said relative is really enthusiastic about what she does and it never occurred to me until your post that what is basically her life's passion could be useful to someone or that feeding could become such an all encompassing issue. Having talked to you and a couple of other friends who had babies while I was off in biggest copper mine in the world land has given me a bit more of an awareness of the issues.
I get buffetted pretty easily by small things and other people caring has made all the difference to me on any number of occasions, so if I can return the favour, then I try to.
Oh yes. Sometimes I even sit on it when they're in their yards. They always think it's funny. :) It used to have two prongs, but one of them got broken during some rough play one day.
No more shocker, huh?
Yeah I know mate. I actually think there just may have been times Bruce has been pretty irritated with my presence. ;)
Because we disagreed on many issues, and were often the only two members on the board, you came to that conclusion... but didn't make it so.
I switched bedrooms and I am now sitting facing south. I can see my back patio door from my computer desk. We have a nice autumn sun shinning in the doors so I open it so that cats can look out. My orange tabby is happily playing with a grasshopper to death. He is amused. I am amused with myself for being torn between allowing my cat the to play with it and saving a bug.
Found this while I was perusing craigslist:
"Wanted Bichon Frise, preferred white."
It has come to my attention that if you stay at the Marriott hotel in (where else) Bangkok, your dining options include the Man Ho chinese restaurant.
http://www.marriott.com/hotels/hotel-information/restaurant/BKKDT
I wonder how often they get asked for cream of sum yung gai.
How to get to Llama School:
[YOUTUBE]FOfa6JEIVkk[/YOUTUBE]
In Spanish, como se llama means "what is the name of your llama?"
In Spanish, como se llama means "what is the name of your llama?"
No, it means comes like a llama. it's a friendly greeting implying that you think the person looks fertile.
I had five college-age lesbians at my house this weekend, and you know, my whole life I've had this awesome fantasy about what that would be like, but it wasn't like that at all. As far as I know they just sat around and talked.
I had five college-age lesbians at my house this weekend, and you know, my whole life I've had this awesome fantasy about what that would be like, but it wasn't like that at all. As far as I know they just sat around and talked.
You haven't had a chance to watch the surveillance videos yet then, huh?
My wife and I went to the coast for our 50th wedding anniversary. While she went in to do some shopping, I opened the hatchback and sat with our Lab, Vicky.
A family came by with a 2 or 3 yr old girl.
The girl obviously wanted to touch Vicky.
Her mother said: "Ask the man if you can pet the dog"
This tiny little girl looked up at me and said:
" May I please pet your pretty dog ?"
Of course I said yes, and she did.
Then her mom said it was time to go.
The girl smiled at me and said:
"Thank you very much for letting me pet your dog."
A teenage couple came by and the girl started cooing over Vicky
The boy said: "Please tell me your dog is a fake"
And the girl snapped back:
"You owe me a puppy... remember last night ! "
Then a woman came by and said:
"Hi beautiful"... a pause ... "and your dog is pretty too ! "
I was befuddled and couldn't even speak.
She laughed and said: "Can I give you a treat ?"
She opened a bag of dog treats from her cart and gave one to Vicky.
She laughed again, and we both turned a few shades of red.
For this 75-yr old fart, it was a fun morning.
That's why more women keep men, than dogs... they're easier to amuse.
Yesterday, passed a highschool girls tennis match. One of the players was wearing full Islamic garb - she was looking out of a slit to play tennis.
Shitty cell phone pic
you're taking cellphone pix of high school girls you don't know playing tennis? :eek:
He's actually an undercover agent for the right wing vigilantes, tracking those terrorists Obama is importing. :haha:
you're taking cellphone pix of high school girls you don't know playing tennis? :eek:
Doh!:eek: I hadn't thought of that. That'd be quite a fetish, getting off on teenaged girls in burkas. :ninja:
Just think of all that sexiness you're not allowed to see! The forbidden fruit is the most tempting...
Could be Jabba The Hut under all that cloth!
I had five college-age lesbians at my house this weekend, and you know, my whole life I've had this awesome fantasy about what that would be like, but it wasn't like that at all. As far as I know they just sat around and talked.
That's all? They didn't ask you to perform services for them?
[SIZE="1"]("Mr. Toad, could you run to the store and get us some more beer?")[/SIZE]
Doh!:eek: I hadn't thought of that. That'd be quite a fetish, getting off on teenaged girls in burkas. :ninja:
doesn't really matter what your intention is, though, it seems... I don't take any pix of kids unless mine is one of them or I'm an official chaperone on a field trip.
If you don't take their picture, the terrorists win.:(
I heard that they are filming a movie downtown today. We've got this big parking lot across the street, and they use it for misc stuff besides parking. Sometime film crews store support vehicles there. Today is one of those days
I went out at lunch (no camera) and checked things out. It's the new Transformers movie. There's a big tractor trailer with a flame paint job and a transformers logo on the side, and a couple of cars under tarps, and a whole fleet of "black ops" style government SUVs as typically depicted by Hollywood.
So I came back inside and Googled it to see how long they are in town, and found this clip. Apparently,a real cop car was responding to a suspicious package call and drove right onto a live film set this morning and got hit by one of the star cars of the movie. Hardly a scratch on the cop SUV, but the Bumblebee car looks totaled.
[YOUTUBEWIDE]PJm1w-wTomo[/YOUTUBEWIDE]
Very nice camera work on the part of the "bystander" He or She leads the main truck in, not wavering much in the pan and not changing the amount of lead, Then ends the move right as the trucks stop, zooms in at just the right moment to get the crash. The whole thing is not only very professional, but for an unrehearsed bit of viral marketing, umm, I mean lucky filming, it was all quite fortuitous.
I especially like the "we need to cover up our secret car so it is a surprise for the movie" touch. It makes me that much more curious to go out and see the movie.
I smell a big fat rat.
I didn't watch past the "hit" before, but watching the way the cop approaches the driver and then jogs off to talk to the other driver in the police car. It all looked pretty Hollywood.
If you don't take their picture, the terrorists win.:(
not true. If you don't take their picture, god kills a puppy, which is fine with me :D
and an angel rings a bell.
"I seen the smalley face"
:lol2: More than mildly: monster's usertitle. Clever one!
It'd be a good band name, don't you think? :D
Mr. Clod's gmail address follows the pattern [first initial][relatively common last name], and he ends up getting mis-addressed email meant for other people on a fairly regular basis.
This evening he received this photo, no message included:
It seems to me like that is the very definition of mildly amusing! :D It's not drop dead funny only because there is some kind of WTF aspect of it.
That was from his other family in Europe. :lol2:
This
[YOUTUBE]uKXwf-cQ278[/YOUTUBE]
I hate election poll phone calls, and right now I'm getting at least one a day.
So as soon as I realize that's who I've got on the line, I've started handing the phone to Minifob. One woman talked to him for a good 5 minutes.
One? I'm getting at least a half dozen every damn day. I've had to start picking up the receiver a half inch and dropping it, to keep them from leaving voice mails.
Well, you live in a state that actually contains some moderates. Around here it's more like, "which of the Republican candidate's platforms are the most important to you?" :rolleyes:
Got a newsletter from the SPCA, the beginning of one of the articles:
With witches, goblins, Buzz Lightyear, pumpkins, hot dogs, ladybugs, butterflies and Justin Bieber out on the prowl, remember to keep your pets’ safety in mind this Halloween.
I had a photo shoot the other day at a corporation that routinely gives its employees the "whizz quiz". I had to use the bathroom and noted that (a) the toilet water had been dyed blue and (b) the faucets on the sink had a locked steel cover blocking access to the faucets. There was hand sanitizer available though.
For my 13K post, I'd like to ask if you did sell your urine and for how much?
Didn't occur to me, but I wonder how much clean whizz goes for on the open market.
Damn. Woulda, coulda, shoulda
Well, first you gotta have it... :p:
You ever wonder about the world view of people who prefer influenza to having a weekend smoker in the next cube?
I was reading the latest sniping match on the cellar and the phrase, 'it's on like a condom at a herpes convention' popped into my head. That's amusing me today.
Max's latest thing is saying 'bye bye' to people as we go past them on the street or in the supermarket etc.
Today as we were getting a few groceries, he noticed the chickens in the fridge cabinet and said 'chook chook' which is what Aussie's call chickens or hens or whatever.
So anyway, we went past the chooks in the fridge, and Max said bye bye to them.
I thought it was funny.
For some reason, my brain keeps deciding that Julian Assange is/was the Dwellar jaguar. He just looks like I always thought jaguar would look, I guess. Plus the somewhat similar philosophies, and the whole Australian-living-in-Sweden thing...
Jag was pretty deeply entrenched in the system, but he might have had an aha moment, where the system either shit on him, or made him so much money it became boring.
My mother called this morning. She asked me to look up a sweet and sour recipe from my grandmother's cookbook.
So far I have found, 'Lime Mold','Indian Pudding', 'Liver and Bacon Fricassee' This book was published in 1931, Topeka, Kansas
It's amusing.
My mother called this morning. She asked me to look up a sweet and sour recipe from my grandmother's cookbook.
So far I have found, 'Lime Mold','Indian Pudding', 'Liver and Bacon Fricassee' This book was published in 1931, Topeka, Kansas
It's amusing.
Topeka, Kansas is where the Westboro Baptists and from.
Two funny things that happened at work today:
1) A student who had been in once before and was told (in person and in his email) what documentation we needed, and he came back with only about half of it. My cow orker told him he needed to bring it back when he had everything we need (the volume of stuff we get we don't keep partial sets of paperwork.) The guy was cussing and sputtering and told Jeff to go "piss up a rope." That makes me giggle, especially to hear Jeff tell it.
2) A woman left her purse behind so campus police was called to retrieve it (standard procedure, no one wants to be accused of stealing or anything) and the cop, Tracy, was looking through the purse to assess its contents, in front of witnesses, before taking it back to the cop shop. (Cops get accused of stealing too.) And what to their wondering eyes did appear, but a big old bag of weed. :lol: Guess that explains the absent-mindedness in leaving her purse behind. Oops.
Guess you shoulda stole it!
shaw: Oh, hey wait. That's my purse. D'oh. Never mind.
Our girls got together for their Mom's Xmas present... an iPad.
So the dutiful husband sets about getting iPad running.
1) Plugs iPad receptacle to start charging
2) Turns iPad ON and gets message to connect to iTunes
3) Connects to iMac with iTunes, and gets message to download current version of iTunes
4) Downloads current version of iTunes (10.1.1)
5) Launches current version of iTunes, and gets message requires Mac OS v10.5 or higher
6) Connects to Apple.com, OS v10.5 no longer sold, instead get OS 10.6
7) Husband calls Best Buy - can not give technical advise over phone
8) Husband calls Apple Tech Support - automated-answering-idiot recycles n-times
and finally gives up by summoning a human
9) Extremely courteous human technician gathers information (7 minutes)
10) Technician recommends options (a) (b) and (c):
a) upgrade iMac OS to 10.6 (cost $129 - transfer to sales ?)
..........agitated husband discusses cost to update all other software
b) replace existing iMac with a new computer !!!
..........agitated husband discusses cost to purchase AND update other software
c) use a MS PC to host Apple iPad !
..........agitated husband labels iPad as "the gift that keeps on giving"
11) Wife is not happy, daughters are not happy, but husband has not given up...
Tomorrow the iPad WILL mate with daughter's MS PC for better or for worse, until death do them part.
I will print that out and hand it to all my mac using friends who ask me "Why did you switch to a pc?"
:lol2:
sorry lamp. You're so stoic, it's funny
Tra La La La...
Mom's iPad matched up with 1st-daughter's PC, and is now romping around the internet. :biggrin:
Now for the learning curve and downloading "apps"... ($$$ :eek:)
So far Mom has found "free books" and "free games" so that will occupy for a while.
Relieved husband is returning to his comfortable, if outdated, iMac.
Mom's iPad got tired of the internet and gave it up.
The home wireless network continued working fine, so it's iPad's fault.
Another call to Apple Tech Support found another very friendly lady
who had lots of time and lots of suggestions to change iPad's attitude.
But no joy, she transferred us to the higher authority, Senior iPad Technician, Shawn.
Just like an old joke Shawn says: "Pull the power plug from the
wireless router, and then plug it back in again.
Tra la la la ... Mom's iPad is now romping around the internet again,
and that's why they pay Shawn the big bucks.
My mom is learning to text, hehehe It's a beautiful thing.
My Lab, Vicky, doesn't know as many words, but she is much smarter.
She listens intently to my commands, and then decides if she wants to do it, or not.
NY Times
Sit. Stay. Parse. Good Girl!
By NICHOLAS WADE
Published: January 17, 2011
Chaser, a border collie who lives in Spartanburg, S.C.,
has the largest vocabulary of any known dog.
She knows 1,022 nouns, a record that displays unexpected depths
of the canine mind and may help explain how children acquire language.
<snip>
He bought Chaser as a puppy in 2004 from a local breeder and
started to train her for four to five hours a day.
He would show her an object, say its name up to 40 times,
then hide it and ask her to find it, while repeating the name all the time.
She was taught one or two new names a day, with monthly revisions and reinforcement for any names she had forgotten.
Children pick up about 10 new words a day until, by the time they leave high school,
they know around 60,000 words.
Chaser learned words more slowly but faced a harder task:
Each sound was new and she had nothing to relate it to, whereas children
learn words in a context that makes them easier to remember.
For example, knives, forks and spoons are found together.
A Nova episode on animal intelligence, in which Chaser stars, will be broadcast on Feb. 9.
Border Collies are unbelievable, I swear some are mind readers.
Mildly amusing: nothing.
I'm looking for amusing. Anyone got any amusing on them?
Sorry, I just ate the last one. I got some ABC amusing, want that?
Sorry, I just ate the last one. I got some ABC amusing, want that?
HA! That one took me a minute! I reached (or retched, as a friend of mine would say) into the depths of my childhood memories and VOILA...ABC!
This window poster mildy amused my filthy mind as I was walking in he mall today
And yesterday I was mildy amused that one of my childrens' Focus Study options is called "Mitten Munching". I don't think it's actually a euphemism for anything rude, but it damn well should be.
In the last week or so, we've had two of the dumbest drink drivers evah. I can't find the news stories but, roughly:
1. Adelaide guy drives to his local cop shop to get a defect notice cleared off his car. Seems tipsy. Blows 0.18. Limit is 0.05. Car and human taken into custody.
2. Darwin bloke arrives at job - as a courier - tipsy. Boss says he's drunk. He insists he isn't, argument develops, bloke storms into cop shop and demands a breath test. 0.06.
snowstorm/sleetstom is supposed to be on its way so natch it was armageddon at the local grocery store. sigh.
also - the "NSFW Luscious little"... in the above thread is mildly amusing.
Also the handle Sexy Cherri is mildly amusing me.
Lots of little laughs today.
Hang on... like you don't think a Cherry can be teh sexor..?!
Shame on you.
What's mildly amusing me today?
Those krazy Madagascan zombies.
Their plan for world domination is cunning and devious these days.
Flesh IS great with ice cream!
OK....
real life lulz:
A lot attendant who shall remain anon got a new phone the other day, and was telling me about it... He got the new HTC EVO kickass smartphone.... so anyway... today, I saw him playing with it, and asked to check it out... he hands it to me and I look..and without touching anything....it's displaying the google search history .....
first/most recent search: 'spots on penis'
I just gave it back to him....
I can't tell anyone here, so I had to tell you guys. He's a really nice young man, and I hope he doesn't have anything serious.... but damn... poor guy.
oh.... man
a big fuuu moment when he realized his search was visable
It is snowing, raining, sleeting, AND thundering and lightning.
Awesome.
I want that.... now i'm home and warm and dry.....
Tonight I had to record the following line:
...that a process will consistently and reproducibly produce product, or perform to a predetermined specification.
Obviously they are paying me with the money they saved by not hiring writers.
...that a process will consistently and reproducibly produce, and/or perform THE SHIT OUT OF product, or a predetermined specification.
I have a new app for my phone.
It's called Gaines. It's synced with the Android operating system. Here's how it works:
Forget to set your alarm? No problem. Accidentally turned the alarm off rather than hit "snooze?" No problem. Gaines will wake you up. Through a series of ever-increasing decibels of "MEOW" Gaines will override your alarm on your phone, and make sure you don't miss that important appointment, don't forget to send the kids to school, or aren't late for work.
It has some drawbacks, though. Gaines 2.0 is in development. Projected improvements include an additional app, Fancy Feast, (or Fancy Feast LITE, for the overweight app) which can be set to auto-feed Gaines 2.0 after 20 minutes. Gaines 2.0 can be set to ignore weekends or holidays. Gaines 2.0 no longer needs the companion app Litter Scoop as Gaines 2.0 has a state of the art nasal identification system, which will automatically detect and eliminate waste.
That was funny. I actually thought to myself "Hmm...how coincidental that this really convenient app has the same name as shawnee's cat!"
I need a picture of a cat and a recording of annoying cat sounds...
When the holier-than-thou douchebag tells you to "go fuck yourself," you know you're winning.
I can only guess that in 19 minutes this computer will either self-destruct or there is some kind of ejection system that will sending me flying into the dome of the library if I don't vacate the carrell.
Public libraries crack me up. I WILL fix my computer this weekend. Or not. :blush:
Oh, I did NOT.
Today: I got an email from last night from my best buddy's sister who works at the college where my best buddy and I both used to work.
She asked me if I knew "Joe Schmoe" and Joe asked if I were single. It has to be the Joe Schmoe I went to HS with. Too funny. He was really funny, I remember that.
Tell him I'm a lesbian on my way to Yemen for an indeterminate amount of time...all top secret stuff. ;)
our inventory manager scratching his head:
In doing a trade with another dealer, you fax the invoices of the cars you're trading to one another. Today, he had a trade fall through.
The other dealer wanted him to fax their invoice back to them.... 'OK, but may I ask why?'
the response?
'Well, we don't want copies of our invoices floating around out there"
A pair of knickers managed to get caught round the agitator in the washing machine and proceeded to strangle not one, or two, or even three, but ALL FOUR bath towels that were in there. I have no idea how it could have come about -even if I managed to dump the knickers over the agitator when I put the load in (I doubt it). It took me a good 5 minutes to untangle.
Now one leg hole and the waist band are stretched so wide my entire family could wear them at the same time :lol: I wonder if the tumble drier will restore the elasticity?
:lol:
I'm just envisioning this. Funny.
our inventory manager scratching his head:
In doing a trade with another dealer, you fax the invoices of the cars you're trading to one another. Today, he had a trade fall through.
The other dealer wanted him to fax their invoice back to them.... 'OK, but may I ask why?'
the response?
'Well, we don't want copies of our invoices floating around out there"
Dumber than a box of rocks.
Make sure they fax it on blue paper so you can tell it is a return.
Today's mild amusement is brought to you by Wacky Students Inc.
A reasonably intelligent young lass attended one of my seminars, and hung around afterwards to ask a couple of sensible questions. She was sensibly dressed and wearing glasses. Glasses with chunky white plastic frames. And no lenses whatsoever. Nothing. Her eyesight is fine, she told me.
Whatever. Twit.
Today's mild amusement is brought to you by Wacky Students Inc.
A reasonably intelligent young lass attended one of my seminars, and hung around afterwards to ask a couple of sensible questions. She was sensibly dressed and wearing glasses. Glasses with chunky white plastic frames. And no lenses whatsoever. Nothing. Her eyesight is fine, she told me.
Whatever. Twit.
that appears to be the new "fad". i;ve seen that more than once in the last few months at the track. even found a few pair lost out on the track. makes no sense to me. like leaving the tags and stickers on your new hat minnie pearl style. :confused:
I guess the idea is to exploit people's assumptions that people with glasses are smarter. It can work, until we see you're wearing fake glasses. :lol: then you look teh stoopit.
ZenGum
This message has been deleted by ZenGum. Reason: was actually vacuuming keyboard.
:lol2:
(from the Illinois DP thread)
While walking outside to my car, I saw my car door ajar, my glove box open, and my coins missing from the catch all. I guess I left the door unlocked at some point. :eek:
Amusing, is if whoever had been more methodical, the person would have found a $10 dollar Starbucks gift card in my ashtray. Amateur :rolleyes:
Ha!
I was at an art show with Lil' Pete yesterday and this teenage boy tripped and almost took a header because he was starring at Lil' instead of looking where he was going. I remember being a teenage guy ... it was damn hard to focus.
Ha!
I was at an art show with Lil' Pete yesterday and this teenage boy tripped and almost took a header because he was starring at Lil' instead of looking where he was going. I remember being a teenage guy ... it was damn hard to focus.
There is apparently a new rule in place at my grocery store. Today, behind the various deli, fish and meat counters, all of the bearded gentlemen were wearing a second hairnet strung around their entire jaw. Even the guy with just a few days' stubble had one on. It was pretty silly looking.
And feels Worse Clodd ,
Its a Food safety thing
I have to wear Beard Nets in Food Plants All the time ,
It's even worse at the nudist grocery.
be glad you're not there when they make the doughnuts
A man robbed a bank downtown then hopped the RTA bus for a getaway. He was busted right in front of my building. :lol:
With all that cash he could have afforded a cab.
This Sports Illustrated slide-show of misspelled jerseys cracked me up. I can almost understand some of the names, but the cities and team names? West Virgina? Angees? Torotno? :lol:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/1101/jersey.misspellings/content.1.html
I played on a company softball team and our company logo had words around it in a circle (dependability, service, something something.) The logo went on our shirts and the dumbest guy in the business pointed out at our first game that they spelled it "sercice." I was so proud of him! I hadn't even noticed yet.
West Virgina ..on the entire team's shirts... -I'm crying here....... :lol:
this one is phonetically spelled. Sort of.
West Virgina ..on the entire team's shirts... -I'm crying here....... :lol:
You say virgina, I say vergina...
This email I just sent to Hector's teachers and the school secretary about him missing school tomorrow:
Teachers, cc: School Secretay
Hector will not be in school tomorrow (Friday). He has a series of appointments with a team of petrified dihydrogen monoxide specialists, as we previously discussed.
have a great weekend.
Monster
It amuses me greatly :D And I am happy he's in a school where I can do this.
Good lord, tell him to be careful and be sure he wears the proper protective gear!
I believe we have the fallout potential under control. We are also prepared for major discoid impactions.
So my mom calls me to tell me about a locks of love event, knowing I've been thinking of getting my hair cut somewhat shorter. In telling my friends, they're like "NOOOOOO you wouldn't look right with short hair because (you're too ugly)." That's not what they said, exactly, but whatever.
Seriously, when my hair is so important to so many, what can I do?
You have to have 10 inches of disposable hair. That would be a lot shorter than I wanted to go. But mom always loved me in short hair. I've not quite forgiven her for the pixie when I was about 5. In her defense, my brother had decided to cut my hair and the only way to fix it was to pixie it. Maybe she thought I was all Mia Farrow or Twiggy or someone.
My hair can start wars and induce peace. Who knew it could be so powerful? :rolleyes:
so post a picture already.
Maybe, if I can take one that doesn't make me barf.
(My hair isn't that long, but it's long for me. I've been letting it grow about two years, but getting cuts and layers and stuff to keep it healthy. It is my last hurrah, at some point of age women look kind of silly with long hair, and I don't know if I'm ready to let go. But I'm sick of drying it and messing with it. I wear it in a ponytail most of the time.)
If it's your last hurrah, then you must document it. When you are a little old lady in a rocking chair with a blanket on your lap, you'll be able to pull out the old laptop (or access your futuristic subdural data implant) and check out the picture.
It is my last hurrah, at some point of age women look kind of silly with long hair, and I don't know if I'm ready to let go.
Not necessarily. I think it depends on your hair. There are some women at church with grey shoulder length hair who look really sharp. Very Earth-Mother.
I'm lucky that my gray hair (currently colored my "normal" color) is more silver: really shiny and straight. So, when I take the next step of letting it just be gray I know it'll look pretty good. I know a lady here at work who has silvery hair, and it's cut in a bob, and she looks so elegant and classy.
I guess I'm thinking of the, well, kind of hickish women who let it grow and process the crap out of it and it's all wiry and brillo-pad looking, with split ends. Yuck. That's the kind of long hair I would avoid. I can see me being earth mothery when I'm 50. Wait, that's too soon. 55. ;)
I'm sure you'll look lovely either way.
In telling my friends, they're like "NOOOOOO you wouldn't look right with short hair because (you're too ugly)." That's not what they said, exactly, but whatever.
were they signing this song? (NSFW words)
[YOUTUBE]d5tg5JLClpo[/YOUTUBE]
I am mildy amused (and somewhat proud) I just got an email from the swim coach at the school Hebe is zoned for but not attending saying (paraphrasing) "hey, great swim, I just Remembered Hebe could enroll at our school and go to the new shiny school just for the courses we don't offer that she wants"
conversation with a cow orker after finding out Canadian stores are closed for Good Friday:
Him "Yeah, I guess its like how Thanksgiving is to us. You know they don't have Thanksgiving like we do."
Me "Do you see the color of my hair? Is that blonde?" (My hair is clearly brown)
Him "Yes..."
Me "So do they have a 4th of July in Britain?"
Him "No."
Best part is, multiple people heard so they all get to tease him now.
For some reason I'm enjoying arguing with the sockpuppet. I guess I'm just out for a fight today. I must be in a really good mood, I only fight when I'm happy.
This fucking nonsense I've been reading on here for the past couple of days. I'm not even drinking right now and this is fucking awesome!
Crazy is as crazy does....
I'm not sure that makes sense.
Depends which end of the bottle it's at.
Hmm, what if its a can and not a bottle?
PM from pam has me grinning.
PMs from Pam are almost as entertaining as Pimms from Panama.
And much better than PMS from Aunt Flo.
A PM is like a PP only fuzzier, right?
[ATTACH]32126[/ATTACH]
After a shrot trip to Costco with 2.0 we sat down to share a hotdog in the little enclosed picnic table area. It's completely packed and we're minding our own business until a 4 or 5 year old girl a couple tables over starts to projectile vomit. I have never seen so many people turn green all at once. It was like that horrible scene in Stand By Me with the chain reaction vomit.
The best part???? The little asian guy that pops up and starts taking pictures. I shit you not.
"please cancel my finical aid."
I've found it's too finicky.
Data entry can be mildly amusing when someone states that their gender is "Chinese".
Even more so when three out of 53 do it.
Today I intervewed with a VP for a major company and he gave me a tour of the facility. I want the job so I didn't tell him how disorganized his company is. By this point I could give the tour myself. I've interviewed with 4 different VP's at this facility in the last 5 weeks for different positions but they have no internal tracking there so none of them know what the other is doing.
how many VPs do they have? Do they know? :lol:
Wow, how cool would it be to get in a salary bidding war within a single company?
That would be totally awesome, unfortunately they have MBA's and people with 15 years experience lined up willing to kill each other for these jobs. It kind of reminds me of Jim Carey's chase seen in Fun With Dick and Jane.
they have MBA's and people with 15 years experience lined up willing to kill each other for these jobs.
Don't worry -85% of them will fuck it up
Don't worry -85% of them will fuck it up
Is that because they end up in the top 10% of management?
Is that because they end up in the top 10% of management?
You know, I believe it might be.
The email I got with this subject line
[SIZE="4"]Your Amazon.com order of "Brain Salad Surgery" has shipped!‏[/SIZE]
Latin is very amusing
bla,bla,bla, [latin abreviation]
or rather ens causa sui, ego te provoco, et alii
There must be 6,732 ways to spell "Ashley."
Oddly enough, one of them is Prtlwqmngprtxl.
There must be 6,732 ways to spell "Ashley."
Oddly enough, one of them is Prtlwqmngprtxl.
tell me about it.
When I used to work clinic, every other baby girl-child was "Ashley Nicole," - there must be close to a billion twenty-somethings named Ashley Nicole. Makes me wanna vom.
I remember the first little girl I knew named Ashley. I babysat her once or twice. I thought it was cool but in my mind I'm like "that's a BOY's name, you never saw Gone With the Wind?" Years later, I knew a guy in the pro shop at the CC who was named Ashley and I wondered if he got crap for that...though he wasn't the sort of fellow anyone would probably want to irritate too much.
A boy named Sue.
I love my mudder for giving me an unusual middle name (even though for YEARS I hated it and no I'm not telling anyone here) because everyone's middle name is Ann or Nicole or Renee or Lynn or Marie.
I love my mudder for giving me an unusual middle name (even though for YEARS I hated it and no I'm not telling anyone here) because everyone's middle name is Ann or Nicole or Renee or Lynn or Marie.
Is your middle name "Number"?
No. It's Rumpelstiltskin.
Cleaning up my music collection and found an unknown Simon and Garfunkel track "By the Light" turns out that it is "The Boxer."
Someone tagged the song based on the "Lie, La, Lie" chorus.
Dymphna.
We have a patient named Dymphna. She's a nun.
St Dymphna is the Patron Saint of Nutcases.
I saw Super 8 today. I won't say anything about it...but I avoided reading anything because i like to be surprised.
Now that I look up supposed 'spoilers' I am laughing my head off. So far off base.
It was good enough for a summer movie. There were things about it I liked.
I will say that being the sort of person who stays to watch credits can have rewards.
I wanna go see Super 8! maybe I'll go tomorrow....and I'll def. wait to watch the credits.
Cleaning up my music collection and found an unknown Simon and Garfunkel track "By the Light" turns out that it is "The Boxer."
Someone tagged the song based on the "Lie, La, Lie" chorus.
Someone? :eyebrow:
Someone? :eyebrow:
I've inherited a lot of songs from various people, the provenance of some of them is sketchy...
My refrigerator compressor started clicking yesterday, so I had to unplug it while I figure out what to do about it. But that is definitely not the amusing part, at all.
The amusing part is that after deciding to take the Brita pitcher out of the non-working fridge and keep it on the counter, then thinking again and moving it to an out of the way area where I figured Bosco wouldn't get to it, OF COURSE he made a beeline for it once I was a safe distance away.
He licked the spout once and then walked away, FU Kitteh Style.
Thinking about lookout wanging his dirty bird!111
I just caught up on pensive pam
I've inherited a lot of songs from various people, the provenance of some of them is sketchy...
Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
A nice even 2000 posts SN.
I had no idea that those towers were not some kind of junk sculpture, turns out I had chairs!
A nice lazy-boy even. I'm so rearranging my living room.
Thinking about lookout wanging his dirty bird!111
I just caught up on pensive pam
Good times there. Did you see the connection with BrianR's revelation in the Dwellar secrets thread?
I had no idea that those towers were not some kind of junk sculpture, turns out I had chairs!
A nice lazy-boy even. I'm so rearranging my living room.
cool. :D Head on over here when you've finished down there. Don't leave me to be the only junkyard dwellar!
Good times there. Did you see the connection with BrianR's revelation in the Dwellar secrets thread?
I did, I've missed so much :(
cool. :D Head on over here when you've finished down there. Don't leave me to be the only junkyard dwellar!
They weren't my scultptures; only the chairs were mine. :D
I've made it to another BD so you get to guess my age again. One guess per person and if someone gets it by midnight (US Eastern Time) I'll fess up.
sounds like a fun game. I'm going to guess you are 67 years old.
He sounds that young in his posts, but his photography history in that other thread made him seem like he had a long illustrious career.
He reads likes he's in his thirties but the photo talk has me thinking he is late fifties.
Thanks for participating; alas, no one guessed it. Please try again next year.
He reads likes he's in his thirties but the photo talk has me thinking he is late fifties.
A combination of being young at heart and blending with a younger crowd because IRL no one thinks that I look my age either.
On asking someone today what their job was, they answered "I am a seaman." ... [COLOR="Yellow"]one fun part of what was an essentially crap day.[/COLOR]
This is more than mildly amusing, this is cracking me up to be honest, but there's no "What's cracking you up today?" thread...
So like 5 years ago, I bought a CD from a cute little independent website called CDBaby. Flash forward about 3 years, I get an email from the owner of the site talking about how he has sold the site for a ridiculous sum and used all the money to create a charity promoting music classes for underprivileged kids.
It was a nice story and all, but the tone of the email was more than a little pandering. The whole thing was written as if we were good friends, mail-merged with my first name, the name of the CD I had bought way back when, and even my shipping destination city. (As in, "Hope you've been enjoying that great weather in Austin!") Of course it had been sent to the entire email list of everyone who had ever purchased a CD from him, and was basically asking, in a
super chummy way, for donations and other support for his new charity.
Well, I was bored that day, and more than a little bemused, so I wrote him an email in reply--as if yes, we were in fact good friends, and here, since he's given me such an extensive update on his life, let me in turn give him an extensive update on
my interests. I told him all about the autism treatments, my cooking blog, sent him links to the progress videos, etc. He did write back with thanks and cursory interest, then it fizzled out after one or two more back-and-forths.
Then a few months later, he spammed me again with more self-serving links and information about his "projects." Again, to his whole list, again as if we were old friends from before the war. So I replied again in kind.
And again. And again.
Every time this dude contacts me about shit I don't care about, I send him one back about shit he doesn't care about. Today, my email said this:
Hi Derek,
It's so great to hear from you! I apologize for the delay in my reply, my email program had moved your message to the spam folder (what could it possibly have been thinking?!) I know you must have been eagerly awaiting an update on my son's recovery from autism...
Etc., etc., lots of details about how great he's doing, the Tae Kwon Do school where no one has any idea he has (soon to be had) a diagnosis, and the current balance of digestive meds. But the real kicker was my closer:
Check out the attached pictures from my son's colonoscopy!
God, I hope his email program has a preview function that will load the image without asking.
I know it would be more effective to just ask this guy directly to take me off his email list. But this is so much more
fun...
you are an evil genius, CF
:lol: That's awesome.
I've taken to messing with the system lately. If I ever get anything addressed "to the householder" with a return address that looks unimportant, I return it marked "not known at this address". Or "deceased".
Make some bored drone in the dead letter office have a total WTF? moment.
I should not be allowed in the Tar-jay without a responsible adult.
Luckily I will be returning about $50 worth of the stuff I bought because it didn't fit.
So, like I'm in the female workout wear department. They have a lot of cute stuff, little racerback sports bras, little yoga pants, little Daisy Duke running shorts, emphasis on the little.
There was a staff member stocking and rehanging these cute little outfits. She was a very substantially sized young lady.
I asked her, "Excuse me, but do you have any workout wear for women who actually need it?"
She didn't say a word. She just shook her head, very slowly.
We both laughed in a very jolly manner.
I have to go check out the workout wear section at the Walmart. I think they are more likely to have my size.
My problem was that I decided to go around the whole store. Usually I just head straight for what I went for. And I kind of did. Unfortunately, there was an entire store in between the first thing I went for and the second.
hehe thanks for the laugh clodfobble! :)
That's hilarious Clod. Awaiting the report of the CD guy's reply.
I should not be allowed in the Tar-jay without a responsible adult.
Luckily I will be returning about $50 worth of the stuff I bought because it didn't fit.
So, like I'm in the female workout wear department. They have a lot of cute stuff, little racerback sports bras, little yoga pants, little Daisy Duke running shorts, emphasis on the little.
There was a staff member stocking and rehanging these cute little outfits. She was a very substantially sized young lady.
I asked her, "Excuse me, but do you have any workout wear for women who actually need it?"
She didn't say a word. She just shook her head, very slowly.
We both laughed in a very jolly manner.
I have to go check out the workout wear section at the Walmart. I think they are more likely to have my size.
My problem was that I decided to go around the whole store. Usually I just head straight for what I went for. And I kind of did. Unfortunately, there was an entire store in between the first thing I went for and the second.
I love this story. :)
Oh, and the "entire store" included the Hello Kitty duct tape, right?
Target gets me into trouble every time!
Yes, wolf your story was funny too but I read it second and so, I forgot after the chuckle fest I had over clods.
"The emphasis on the word little" is oh so true. I've thought the very same thing. They certainly look like a size 3. I pick one up and I imagine a trim toned tall athletic person, tanned and gorgeous and put the item down, thinking it's out of my league.
I saw a woman in the Wally World with an outfit made of those very items, the 'little' ones. I was totally jealous until she turned around and I realized she wasn't a working-out, dedicated, 'my body is a temple' health fiend, she was a hillbilly crackhead.
But she looked GREAT from the back. :lol:
I got my last swimming costume from the internet.
Having scoured three very hot sportswear shops with very badly organised sections, I decided I felt like too much of a freak and would rather take care of my needs anonymously.
Hello kitty duct tape?!? Really??? Either im just gullible or wow. Just wow.
I got my last swimming costume from the internet.
Having scoured three very hot sportswear shops with very badly organised sections, I decided I felt like too much of a freak and would rather take care of my needs anonymously.
Do pools in the UK have shops attached with swimming costumes for normal people? I've found them to be much better than any other kind of shop that sells swimming costumes.
That's hilarious Clod. Awaiting the report of the CD guy's reply.
He did reply this time, actually (doesn't usually.) He said:
Thanks for the update on your son. I appreciate it. Congrats on finding your calling. Very cool!
Keep up the good work. All the best to you both.
He's not a bad guy, just a dyed-in-the-wool PR personality. To be honest, I'm betting he'll out-chum me in the end.
Swimming costume discussions are mildly amusing me today. :D
Do pools in the UK have shops attached with swimming costumes for normal people? I've found them to be much better than any other kind of shop that sells swimming costumes.
I can't speak with any authority, having only been to one pool as an adult, but my personal experience is NO.
And the chances are, if they did, they would again only cater for the standard sizes, having limited space and looking for the maximum sales per retail area.
Swimming costume discussions are mildly amusing me today. :D
'Cause all I can think is "you mean, like, Batman or something?"
I know it's just a difference in the words we use, but it makes me chuckle.
A lot like when someone comments on the professional football team's new 'costumes.' (And I mean American football, the big bulky guys in uniform, not the other kind where the little guys traipse around and they actually do wear cute little costumes.) :p:
A lot like when someone comments on the professional football team's new 'costumes.' (And I mean American football, the big bulky guys in uniform, not the other kind where the little guys traipse around and they actually do wear cute little costumes.) :p:
Brits would say Strip or Kit to mean a sports uniform. Uniforms are for schoolkids and soldiers and maybe nurses
Hello kitty duct tape?!? Really??? Either im just gullible or wow. Just wow.
No really. I posted a picture in
Products I Wholeheartedly Endorse
So, the ill-fitting items are safely back in the store, although I nearly had to get out the EMT shears to release myself from the "compression sports bra" that turned out to be two sizes smaller than what the tag said.
While I was in the mongo-plex returning stuff, I decided to check out a couple of other stores ... Dicks Sporting Goods also does not sell workout wear for people who actually need it, although I did get a very nice firestriker, backpacking chair, a spork, and some drybags.
I had to approach two Customer Associates in the BestBuy looking for an mp3 player whose name does not start with a lower case i.
They had two, they cost nearly as much as the iEquivalent, with less data storage, and so I walked out without getting anything. However, based on this experience, I may be getting closer to buying one of those iThings.
Wolf, try a local non-chain sportswear shop. Or wally world.
ok so how about making a swimming costume out of hello kitty duct tape?
He did reply this time, actually (doesn't usually.) He said:
He's not a bad guy, just a dyed-in-the-wool PR personality. To be honest, I'm betting he'll out-chum me in the end.
You never know, a beautiful friendship could be born. :D
sold my old wedding ring for enough for dinner and a movie
Jewelry. Feh. Attaching precious metals and whatnot to your body in different ways. I'm against it.
The Germans have it right. Their word for jewelry is Schmuck.
I thought they called it maize... or farfegnugen. One of those.
sold my old wedding ring for enough for dinner and a movie
Jewelry. Feh. Attaching precious metals and whatnot to your body in different ways. I'm against it.
I guess I don't understand the gold market. I read it's up to $1600/oz. Figure a ring weighs about an ounce and is more than half gold if it's 14k. Wouldn't the ring be worth a lot more?
I misplaced my ring, or it is not where I left it.
I keep hearing a commercial for Chicken Rings. Somehow that does not sound appetizing. I wonder if Chocolate Starfish are on the dessert menu?
Maybe mr. toad meant he was making a movie?
I'm sorry, dinner and a movie FOR TWO
My wedding ring cost 11 quid. yes, it's gold.
9 year old is on his fifth week of summer swim season (and it's not his first season). Every day except Sunday, he's in the pool at 8am, so he puts his Speedo on when he gets dressed. Not once has he remembered to take it upstairs with him as he goes to get dressed, despite walking right past the drying rack. Not once.
Some Doofus left the drain on the 50 meter city pool open overnight. Today is the hottest day of the year. Someone might be in big trouble. It's not really funny, except it is... and we have another pool to cool off in. But there was no high school swim practice today. And if those lane lines are permanently stretched, that's going to be a pricey incident, never mind the water and chemical bill....
oops.
I guess you can't just cut off the extra lane line huh? They are sort of like rulers and the colors mean stuff?
right. you can shorten them but they need an element of flex and I'm guessing that might be all gone. Sort of like boobies bounce but eventually there comes a point when they're staying knee-bound. These look like granny boob lane lines to me. Of course maybe I just need more/less caffeine, Im used to dashing around in the mornings, but both pools are now closed today so I'm all discombobulated because i still got up early enough to do that
My pic was used in the local news story!
That's awesome! Can I have your 'graph? :)
Will John's do?
or how about a cookie chart?
/yelliknowhellforsure
Mildly amusing me today is that some friends of ours were wondering yesterday why their house was so warm. They though their air conditioner wasn't working right or something. The wife mentioned it to the husband who reminded her that it was her fault. She had signed up at a farmer's market in the spring to be a family that lets the power company control their air conditioning on these hottest days of the year in order to avoid brown outs. She's very "green" and also you save a few bucks each month on your power bill if you let the power company have that control. It wasn't until this week that she really understood exactly what control she was giving up.
She had been talking it up in the spring and had my wife all convinced we should do it, too, but I was like "wtf? Why should we let the power company turn our AC off on the days that we need it most?"
So anyway, I heard all this, and now this friend is posting on facebook that we should all set our AC a few degrees warmer to take a little load off the grid. It's a good point, but I think she's just trying to get others to join her in misery.
I'm already there.
The now defunct A/C in my kitchen (still plugged in so the temp readout is there) read 99 degrees yesterday. Not sure if it reads into 3 digits.
The one in the living room and bedroom are working their little hearts out but just cannot keep up with the extreme extended heat.
I may need to shell out the money for a new one for the kitchen but I keep thinking after the heat wave passes it'll be OK.
How did we grow up without A/C? Schools didn't have A/C. Our house didn't. I don't remember thinking much about it.
As my friend is fond of saying:
"Live simply so that I don't have to."
I grew up in Miami and we didn't have AC.
We were part of a program like that back when we lived within Austin utilities. The deal for us was you got a free programmable thermostat to replace your crappy old one. Aside from the free hardware and installation, you could then of course program it so it wasn't cooling when people weren't home during business hours, thus saving yourself the money that way rather than getting a specific discount each month.
They were very detailed about when and how they could cut off the A/C--it would never go off completely, the temp would just be set to a max of 82 degrees, for no more than 30 minutes at a time. In the three years we were on it, I only happened to see the under-remote-control display kicked on once, and never actually noticed a temperature difference at any point.
I was curious how it worked.
I'm exaggerating of course when I say they turn off your AC. But I understood I would be giving them the authority to take full control of my AC and in theory that was up to and including turning it off completely. It would make sense for them to just tweak it a little bit, since people would drop out of the voluntary program if their AC was turned off entirely for large stretches of time.
Well that's just the contract that Austin Utilities drew up, it's surely a different system in Virginia. It also helps that there are a ton of Earthy/green folks around here who are all signed up on the program, so the burden is split between a lot more houses. If only a small percentage of your area has agreed to it so far, those houses could very well be suffering on a regular basis.
We had a similar arrangement when I was a kid; my dad would shout "Goddammit, this electricity isn't free, turn out the lights when you leave the room!"
Then he would think he was getting over on the power company by installing 55watt bulbs instead of 60s. Despite being a very smart person, occasionally his calculations skipped a step or two.
I grew up in Miami and we didn't have AC.
yes, but it was a
dry heat.
I just opened a can of diet coke and a cow orker clear on the other side of the room said "I just heard a beer open!" I said we were having brews and cooking shish kebabs on the grill, come on over!
Well, later on I'll be doing that. ;)
I was mildly amused at the Wally World the other day. A fairly big woman, in her 40s (who could walk quite well, thank you very much) was complaining to the greeter that she'd walked all over the store looking for a riding scooter, but they were all out. Hmmmph.
I thought "keep looking, you'll add years to your life."
I know I know. There are issues I couldn't know about; she might really be suffering. [COLOR="White"](Prolly "fibromyalgia")[/COLOR]
Next time I'm going to go in and get a riding scooter because I'm too depressed to shop. ;)
Max and I are watching Funniest Home Video's, and at the end of every video Max says, 'He fall down' then laughs.
It's just funny.
every now and then we do some work for the USPS ( United States Postal Service ) ,
Its ALLL WAYS a Pain in the ass ,
Back in the day the USPS Scale shop would call Bytoching that we wernt Authorized to TOUCH Their scales , etc,,,,, Even though the Post master had called us in to fix what The Scale shop couldn't,,,,,,
fast forward to 2 years ago , we got the contract to check Lots of Post Offices scales , at 1 location After they had let me in and i had checked the scales the Post master said " Who Autherized you to be here ???"
My responce , I have No idea , My Boss told me to come here and check your scales and what to charge you , i assume we have a contract with the state , well he started going off , i dont get paid to put up with that shit so i left , as I was leaving 2 police cars come Blazeing up to the Post office , i just left the area ,
my Boss didnt believe that the cop cars came , untill today
when he had to call the CEO to call the Postmaster of the State to have one of my co workers released from Police custody !!
HA HA !!!
That may explain why "going postal" is so popular.
I'm mildly amused by the titles of some philosophical papers.
Can Time Pass at the Rate of One Second Per Second?
The No-No Paradox is a Paradox.
The Error in "The Error in the Error Theory".
That last paper is a criticism of an earlier paper, and alas, when the original author replied, he merely called it "Errors upon errors: a reply". Pfft. Spoilsport.
Because the mail never stops.
[YOUTUBE]zpN00-UTrY0[/YOUTUBE]
Tonight I received a strange email from my daughter...
Long story. I gave my students their final writing assignment for the semester.
We spent most of the class period today discussing the assignment.
They are to interview someone who is at least 50 years old and who has a 4 year degree
- preferably a family member or close family friend, close associate,etc
They are to ask their interviewee about campus life, academics, diversity and funding issues.
The paper should compare and contrast their interviewee's
experience with their own as transfer students at UnivXX.
One of the questions I want them to explore is what kind of political issues
were prevalent when their interviewee were students.
I used you as an example and mentioned the Vietnam War,
as well as the story you told me last year (?) about having
to sign a loyalty oath in exchange for federal funding.
Bragging about you I mentioned your work with Gxxxxx and PXX screening.
One of my students with a smart phone (who's in a genetics class this semester)
googled "Mxxxxxx Gxxxxx PXX" and asked if your first name is William.
I'm not sure if he didn't believe me or was just bored and playing around on the internet.
Gotta love those damn smartphones in the classroom.
Guess I should have been glad he wasn't just checking facebook.
Wow, Dad, 1967 - that research is older than I am - and I'm old.
love you,
rmb
Whilst waiting for my variety pears in a bag to ripen, I looked to the internet for help in knowing 'exactly' when a pear is ripe.
This little bit of advice amused me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
And what is the best way to eat a perfectly ripe pear?
"After years of study, scientists have found that a really juicy pear is best eaten while naked, in the bathtub, so that you needn't be concerned about the abundant juice streaming down your chin," he laughed
/\Snort/\
Mulling over last night, where Mum hosted a meal for 8 instead of the 6 she expected - thank goodness for her habitual over-catering!
She asked me this morning where I got the bottle for the dressing from. Eh?
The little plastic bottle that was in the kitchen.
Oh right.
It wasn't mine you see.
We'd realised that the balsamic dressing was out of date, so Mum binned it rather than have any of her guests notice and laugh at her. I offered just to whip some up but she declined. Then, as if by magic, a tiny bottle appeared on the table, filled with balsamic dressing.
One of Mum's friends then offered to dress the salad.
Now looking back, said friend is a cheeky mare.
She came to dinner with her own dressing.
She then proceeded to dress both bowls of salads with her own dressing, despite there being two dressings on the table so that people could dress to their own tastes.
As Mum assumed it was my dressing she just went along with it.
As you can tell from it being in this thread, I'm less annoyed than amused at her front.
Bring a bottle - ur doin' it wrong.
Are all your Mom's friends that cheeky? There is probably a novella in these dinners if you have the time. That is the kind of by-play that I never seem to notice and then am left wondering where the acrimony comes from.
Well, there was the cheeky one who told another guest that she was coming on the day.
Said guest then called Mum, because she knew Mum didn't know.
And the other cheeky guest who called mid-afternoon to say she was bringing another colleague.
I'm not much on formality, but this had been arranged over a month ago, so two new guests were a bit of a surprise.
Imagine if Mum had been cooking something number-specific, like... steak I suppose, or lobster (unlikely, but you know what I mean). She'd have had to rush out last miniute to buy more.
Thing is, the group all used to work together, so they aren't as well attuned as people who come together as friends because they are similar. Conversely, this allows them to accept eachother's foibles more easily, and not take too much offence.
Email from Kohl's: Extra 20% off, because Christmas only comes once a year.
Only? Once a year is way too damn much, if you ask me, especially since a year now goes by in about a month and a half, to us old folks.
I think every 5 years would be nice. ;)
Every 5 years might be about right.
The out-years would fit right in with how often I remember the birthdays of my wife and 3 daughters.
USA Today
Cathy Lynn Grossman
12/27/11
President Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton are the nation's
most-admired man and woman — again — in the annual USA TODAY/Gallup Poll.
Most admired men
1) Barack Obama
2) George W. Bush
3) Bill Clinton
4) Rev. Billy Graham
5) Warren Buffett
6-tie) Newt Gingrich
6-tie) Donald Trump
8) Pope Benedict XVI
9) Bill Gates
10) Thomas Monson
Most admired women
1) Hillary Clinton
2) Oprah Winfrey
3) Michelle Obama
4) Sarah Palin
5) Condoleezza Rice
6) Laura Bush
7-tie) Margaret Thatcher
7-tie) Ellen DeGeneres
9-tie) Queen Elizabeth
9-tie) Michele Bachmann
[COLOR="Black"]GBW is still on the list ???[/COLOR]
Is there a most hated list, because I'd bet it would break out about the same.
The last sitting presidents always seem to be on those lists.
Oh, and USA TODAY is a Gannett-owned biased piece of crap. I used to work for them. (cheapshot, but it felt good)
A student who lost their FA here due to non-attendance and general tomfoolery and incompetence, filled out a form to cancel their aid so they could "Unattend another school." Have at it, sweet cheeks. See you in a year, appeal in hand.
:lol:
The dream I just woke up from..it was in a hospital and I was someone of importance.
Then this girl came with two round holes in her hand and a bit of sinew poking out. i was explaining that it looked like a fish had been tapping at the wound...when I looked down at my own hand and saw what looked like the baby turtle from finding nemo trying to sink into my skin..then it did and was visible under the surface. I grabbed a bottle of cleaner and tipped it over the bump and the turtle split the skin and came out..followed by a toadfish.
My cow orker is so cute and funny. She's fairly new. I adore her.
We were talking this morning about students and parents, and she said that she's not saving money for her kids' college, she's saving for their therapy.
She has a sense of humor like mine. :)
The Mexican restaurant near my house has put up the following on their marquee:
We wish you the best of luck with your New Year's resolution... and we'll see you in about 3 weeks.
hahaha thats awesome, Clod.
Oregon has a few political candidates with some weird ideas.
Allan Alley has run unsuccessfully for State Treasurer and Governor,
and is now the head of the State's Republican Party.
The Oregonian
Jeff Mapes
1/23/12
Oregon Republican chairman comes up with a new elephant logo
It seems like Oregon Republicans have tried just about everything
to restore their old political dominance in the state, so why not try a new logo?<snip>
[ATTACH]36945[/ATTACH]
This is 'Behle the Active Elephant' not the previous trunk and tail down symbol of the Oregon GOP.
Leo went on to explain that the new elephant is named for Alley's mother, Behle,
who was a Republican activist herself when Alley was growing up.
So far, the party doesn't seem to be moving full speed ahead to implement the new logo.<snip>
Maybe it isn't easy to get an old elephant to learn near tricks.
It almost looks like the Republicans are wanting to screw Oregon (again) :rolleyes:
A new logo?! Brilliant! That's EXACTLY what the republican party needs. That wins my vote. These people are going places, I tell you.
Today's mild amusement is courtesy of Hopelessly Lost Freshers, inc.
On my way to a class, I saw a young woman, African origin (which here means probably a recent migrant/refugee from South Sudan), papers in hand, near the library, looking totaly lost.
Can I help you?
Um, yeah, I need to find ... um Janet ... something ... do you know her?
Sorry, no. Do you know the room number?
Err, yeah ... three two something.
Which building?
[Blank look]
Oh.
So I took her into the library and walked her to the enrollment support section. I hope they helped her.
My freshman year roomie found the right room number, in the wrong building. She wondered why they would hold class in a utility closet.
A friend of mine has a job managing in a liquor store.
1st Choice Liquor
Cue easy joke.
Candy a distant second...
Actually right next door would be a great place to open a candy store. I bet you'd get enough traffic coming in for the joke that you'd make a nice living.
That would assume people have widely read, understood, and remembered the olde Ogden Nash rhyme.
2nd Choice Fuck'er
that's the easy joke.
That would assume people have widely read, understood, and remembered the olde Ogden Nash rhyme.
I thought it was part of our collective unconscious by now.
Here's an article about the alignment of planets over the next few days.
But that's not what tickled me. It's the signs-of-the-times inside the video.
Remember when students were taught that the eye is like a camera,
with a lens in front and the film in the back part records the picture ?
Kodak is in bankruptcy and film is no longer relevant.
In this video, the eye is "... like a digital camera ..."
Physorg.com
February 20, 2012
Dr. Tony Phillips
Cold and spellbinding: An alignment of planets in the sunset sky
A special night to look is Saturday, Feb. 25th, when the crescent Moon
moves in to form a slender heavenly triangle with Venus, Jupiter and the Moon as vertices (sky map).
One night later, on Sunday, Feb. 26th, it happens again (sky map).
This arrangement will be visible all around the world, from city and countryside alike.
The Moon, Venus and Jupiter are the brightest objects in the night sky;
together they can shine through urban lights, fog, and even some clouds.<snip>
[QUOTE]"Your eye is a bit like a digital camera," explains optometrist Dr. Stuart Hiroyasu of Bishop, California.
"There's a lens in front to focus the light, and a photo-array behind the lens to capture the image.
The photo-array in your eye is called the retina.
It's made of rods and cones, the organic equivalent of electronic pixels."
[/QUOTE]
I do like how the eye is like a camera, digital or otherwise, as though the eye came after the camera.
i got sniped today! there was no way to avoid it!! they had the entrances and exits totally covered with at least 4 on each side!! i avoided their assault on the way in but on the way out i not only got hit from the left, i got caught up in a nasty crossfire from the right!! yes. i bought girl scout cookies at kroger today.
The little buggers were at the swim meet last weekend and are now here at the Hockey rink DO NOT WANT!
i got sniped today! there was no way to avoid it!! they had the entrances and exits totally covered with at least 4 on each side!! i avoided their assault on the way in but on the way out i not only got hit from the left, i got caught up in a nasty crossfire from the right!! yes. i bought girl scout cookies at kroger today.
Dude, I thought you liked lesbians. If you don't support girl scouts where will tomorrow's lesbians come from?
Girl scouts.
They know where you live.
They know how to make fire.
Buy the damn cookies.
Dude, I thought you liked lesbians. If you don't support girl scouts where will tomorrow's lesbians come from?
true true. but i like the str8 ones too!
Girl scouts.
They know where you live.
They know how to make fire.
Buy the damn cookies.
oh lawd! i may not sleep tonight!
The little buggers were at the swim meet last weekend and are now here at the Hockey rink DO NOT WANT!
give in. i am your father luke!
give in. i am your father luke!
my father was called fred.....
Ga-roan.
(Tho actually I thought it was v. Cute)
Laughter on five...four... three... ... ...
Sarah Palin can't catch a break anymore
... anything happening Wasila comes back to her.
death+taxes
Liza Eckert
2/28/12
Sarah Palin’s hometown is no fan of vaginas
[ATTACH]37568[/ATTACH]
The local high school in Wasilla commissioned a statue that was supposed to represent the school’s mascot,
the Warriors, with a shield surrounded by feathers, and a hand print to symbolize good deeds.
But this is a high school, full of teenagers, so the vagina jokes started almost immediately.
Three days after it was erected, the school covered it in a tarp, ostensibly to protect it from vandalism.
But fortunately they reconsidered and removed the covering.
The artists, Jim Dault and Shala Dobson, held workshops at the school to explain the meaning
behind the piece to students, who will probably continue to make vagina jokes anyway.
It looks more like someone shoved a giant Titleist in there and left a hand print.
Firstly, that don't look nothing like my vaj.
Secondly, what's wrong with a bit of snatch anyway, it's the closest many of those boys will come in years.
It looks more like someone shoved a giant Titleist in there and left a hand print.
Not to a sixteen year old, it doesn't.
Secondly, what's wrong with a bit of snatch anyway, it's the closest many of those boys will come in years.
From what we've seen the teenage boys in Wasila do okay, except for that no birth control thing.
Not to a sixteen year old, it doesn't.
Sorry, I meant titlist
I am mildly amused (and also mildly irritated) by the situation with my car.
I took it in for its 200,000km service. All fluids and oils changed, plugs, filters etc etc, plus replace the water pump and the timing belt, certain other timing related thingies. This is looking at being in the $1500 range, but I knew that before I bought this car.
I took it in on Wednesday, planning to get it late Thursday.
Wednesday was one of the wettest days here in ages. The water got into the power circuits at the mechanics, and took out the power to the hoist.
The one my car was one.
While my car was six feet in the air.
And it won't come down without power.
Ah. Slight delay.
So it is now Friday and the hoist is working (as is the mechanic) but I wish my car was back already. Meh.
I was mildly amused today when I heard the term Dumbicide used to describe Darwin Award-like deaths......
I am mildly amused (and also mildly irritated) by the situation with my car.
I took it in for its 200,000km service. All fluids and oils changed, plugs, filters etc etc, plus replace the water pump and the timing belt, certain other timing related thingies. This is looking at being in the $1500 range, but I knew that before I bought this car.
I took it in on Wednesday, planning to get it late Thursday.
Wednesday was one of the wettest days here in ages. The water got into the power circuits at the mechanics, and took out the power to the hoist.
The one my car was one.
While my car was six feet in the air.
And it won't come down without power.
Ah. Slight delay.
So it is now Friday and the hoist is working (as is the mechanic) but I wish my car was back already. Meh.
[SIZE="5"]
[COLOR="Red"]WHERE IS YOUR PUNY DROUGHT NOW?![/COLOR][/SIZE]
Did you know it's not possible to stick your tongue out and breath fast at the same time?
It is if you do it while licking the tip of your elbow
Friend of mine in high school would tell girls "Chicks can touch the tips of their elbows behind their back."
And when they tried it, they didn't realize they would stick their boobs way way out; and he would say "Oh stop bragging!"
:p:
Actually this amused me a LOT today.
And is still raising a chuckle as I rehash it.
After THRASS the children focus on a certain phoneme, and Mrs M writes words up on the board. When I took phonics in Reception I played "Trash or Treasure" and this is similar. Today the phoneme was qu. The sequence as I remember it was queen, quep, quiet... and then a nonsense word. But it wasn't actually a nonsense word. She wrote quim on the board.
I immediately looked over at Mrs J on the other side of the class with big alarmed eyes. She looked back with the same. We looked at Mrs M who was happily sounding out quim and obviously none the wiser. At that point we both got the snorts and had to look away from the board and eachother. By this point it was decided it was a nonsense word and it was all done. Oh, except Luke shot his hand up and said, "No it isn't, I know what it means!" At which point a coughing fit necessitated my exit to the staff room to get a glass of water.
Of course Luke didn't know what we knew at all, he had it mixed up with another word.
Oh my. That coughing fit brought tears to my eyes. Priceless.
I can't wait till we do words starting with cu.
Well, you learn something new every couple of minutes in the Cellar.
According to Urban Dictionary it means fuck!
I will not swear hand on heart that she used that word.
Why all of a sudden
is everyone writing posts
like they're writing pomes?
Maybe they think
they're using an old typewriter
and have to return the carriage before
it runs out
of room.
The style, while annoying,
is most certainly contagious.
Everybody's doing it!
Join the
fun.
Two of my favorite dissertations...
Fleas
Adam
Had'em
Life
?
!
Two of my favorite dissertations...
Fleas
Adam
Had'em
Life
?
!
Life
Eve'n
Steven
?
The G8 are afraid of Chicago gangsters.
I think they should be more worried about Jerry Springer.
what if the ghost is driving?
I just found out my OB/GYN has a small side career as a contemporary Christian rock singer/songwriter.
This may really belong in the "mixed feelings" thread, actually.
I just found out my OB/GYN has a small side career as a contemporary Christian rock singer/songwriter.
This may really belong in the "mixed feelings" thread, actually.
What is wrong with being a Christian?
:lol:
Yes, that's what I found stunning. His religious beliefs.
Do any of your doctors sing, fargon?
So long as he doesn't sing while doing a gyn exam.
What would he sing?
Rock my soul in the cervix of Abraham?
He's got the whole world in his uterus?
Thing is, now that I know this, I can't un-know it. My annual exam is in just a couple weeks (I learned about the music thing because I was trying to schedule the appointment online.)
I really, really want to casually tell him my favorite Christian rock band is Faith+1, just to see what he says.
[YOUTUBE]NrhJT98IoaQ[/YOUTUBE]
What is wrong with being a Christian?
LOTS. blind faith is your starter for 10.
...but I guess there's nothing wrong wih it if it keeps you happy and you don't try to push it into my life......
I just found out my OB/GYN has a small side career as a contemporary Christian rock singer/songwriter.
This may really belong in the "mixed feelings" thread, actually.
I play in a jazz combo in which my GP is the drummer. Living in a small community inures you to the fact that doctors and others who have access to confidential information are just people, after all ...
Sent by thought transference
Last month it was Venus, Jupiter and the Moon.
This month it's just the planets.
Been watching these guys for the last few weeks. And the thing that always strikes me is
Thousands of years ago mankind usually had a perfectly dark sky; and so, every clear night, unlike us, they saw all 6000 visible stars and the Milky Way.
They didn't have TV. Entertainment of any kind was hard to come by. Even books, no. Drama, no. Shakespeare had not been invented. All they had was this night sky, and the moon and the patterns, which moved around during the year. And then these other things, brighter than the usual stars, that actually did move around faster; man, if you didn't know anything about it, that could really mess with your uneducated brain.
You would really be trying to figure out what all the patterns mean, and maybe to connect it to the rest of the physical world that you are aware of.
UT, I'm fascinated by that too...
I made a business trip to Crakow, Poland years ago and had one of
those special moments when you realize you're standing in a very
historical place.
It still makes me appreciate how smart some people were back in earlier times,
and for others, how easy it would have been to attribute magical powers to lights in the sky.
It still makes me appreciate how smart some people were back in earlier times,
and for others, how easy it would have been to attribute magical powers to lights in the sky.
And things are different now?
And things are different now?
Yes, I think things are very different.
Can you imagine, for example, what it took for Copernicus
to go against "common sense", the teachings of the elders,
and power of the church, at the time.
Or Semmelweis, Snow, and Koch coming up with the germ theory of disease.
Maybe mathematics has remained the same in terms of thinking and innovation,
but the scientific method has changed the world, and our bases for "common sense".
Now, even the moderately intelligent can find ways to help explain the physical world.
Plus, the pill radically changed the influence of religion. ;)
.
So long as he doesn't sing while doing a gyn exam.
What would he sing?
Rock my soul in the cervix of Abraham?
He's got the whole world in his uterus?
Plenty of options here, just ... not this one, please.
[YOUTUBE]aNddW2xmZp8[/YOUTUBE]
or this
[YOUTUBE]JNnnWfUpYGg[/YOUTUBE]
This, over on FB.
[ATTACH]37873[/ATTACH]
If you type "L" then you will like it. And then others will see that you like it and they will wonder what hitting "L" does and they will like it too. And so on.
It's stupid and virus like, but amusing that I fell for it.
So long as he doesn't sing while doing a gyn exam.
What would he sing?
Rock my soul in the cervix of Abraham?
He's got the whole world in his uterus?
"Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon."
:lol:
C'mon guys, there must be hundreds of laughs here. We're just warming up...
Tunnel of love
Mutilated lips ( :eek: )
I want your sex
:lol:
C'mon guys, there must be hundreds of laughs here. We're just warming up...
Tunnel of love
Mutilated lips ( :eek: )
I want your sex
hardly suitable for a "contemporary Christian rock singer/songwriter"
that said, how about only a generation or so old....
If I had a hammer.....
The citizenship application
Specifically Question 22
:lol:
http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/n-400.pdfI just had mormons at my door. A couple of nice looking young men, in suits, represented themselves well, articulate, polite.
I was polite too. I thanked them for stopping, but no thanks right now. I asked for a pamphlet or something and they gave me a card with mormon website address.
"Can we stop by another time?"
"No, I don't think so, but I'll keep this in mind. Thank you." big smile
Curtains down.
Thank you.
;)
p.s.
Should I have offered them a beer? :confused:
:lol:
Did you offer to introduce them to your husbands
I thought about bringing up the dead hobos out back, but they were awfully skittish.
"CAN YOU SAVE THEM, HUH? PUT THEM ON THAT THERE POST-DEAD LIST!"
Did you get their names so
foots can convert them?
Me on eBay: I'm selling my mixer
Dude: I'll buy it here's $200
Me: awesome I've just sent it off, here's the tracking number.
(delivery day passes)
(another week passes)
Dude: Hey send me the tracking number
Me: I did send you the tracking number. And UPS says they delivered it. And they say whoever signed for it, signed with your name.
Dude: I want full refund NOW!
(Dude initiates eBay complaint resolution procedure)
($200 leaves my account)
eBay: What happened?
Me: (Tells the full story)
eBay: (Almost immediately) What?! Fuck that guy! Resolved in your favor! ($200 restored)
Me: Yeah! Fuck that guy! I feel good now.
$200 for a mixer? You must have some fancy kitchen appliances!
Maybe it was a cement mixer? lol
Dude checked off "didn't send tracking number" and "could not communicate with" on the complaint resolution form -- when his question and my clear-as-balls answer, containing the tracking number, was right in the item's eBay entry.
Some people may not be familiar with how scams operate, and why you can't just try stuff at random and have it work out for you.
LOL, bloody amateur.
Music mixer, as in mixing deck, perhaps?
Was there a discount for all the dust gathered?
I thought it was a KitchenAid Mixer. :blush:
The price seemed about right. And I'm local.
I thought it was a KitchenAid Mixer. :blush:
The price seemed about right. And I'm local.
I thought so too!
OK, it's time right NOW if you're on the east coast of the US...
Go find Venus !
Go out around 4 p.m. local time on Monday, and position yourself
so that the sun is behind a chimney or rooftop to your right.
Blocking the sun is always essential if you're looking anywhere close to the sun.
[COLOR="DarkRed"]WARNING: Never look directly at the sun with your unaided eye
or through binoculars or telescopes without special light filters. Severe eye damage can result.[/COLOR]
Then face due south, and look two-thirds of the way up the sky towards overhead.
If the sky is clear, you should be able to clearly see the crescent moon.
Look just above the moon, and you should be able to see Venus as a tiny brilliant pinpoint of light.
[ATTACH]38063[/ATTACH]
If you have difficulty, try using binoculars to focus on the moon.
Before using binoculars, make doubly sure that the sun is still
safely behind the chimney or rooftop.
Always take extreme care when using binoculars in a daytime sky
and never point them at the sun without using a solar filter.
Venus is not the only object currently shining bright in the evening and nighttime sky.
Tonight, Venus will appear near the moon and Jupiter for the second night
in a row in an event that astronomers call a conjunction.
At sunset tonight, Venus will appear in the west just to the right
of the crescent moon with Jupiter shining below.
In the eastern night sky, Mars is also currently visible at night
and is unmistakeable due to its reddish hue.
This is from last Friday night.
[ATTACH]38066[/ATTACH]
OK, it's time right NOW if you're on the east coast of the US...
Go find Venus !
I'm glad you didn't say Go find Uranus.
Ahhhh, that one never grows old.
because the cells in that area are shed regularly
I just confused the heck out of some sales guy at Directv. I got a call just now from Directv, and the guy was spieling about wanting to give me a great deal on HBO/Cinemax. Now, today, we just learned that the new job is a go, and I have been wanting to get HBO to see the new GOT series, so his timing was impeccable. As soon as he stopped talking I said "Sign me up!" He stopped for a couple of seconds, stuttered and then continued. When he stopped I told him "I don't think you expected me to say that, did you." "No, Ma'am, I did not."
It made me laugh.
This is way beyond mild amusement, but what the heck...
So, at this festival I just went to, the Critical Incident Team had to do a vehicle rescue. Mostly the CIT do fire safety, search for stray kids, and look cool.
Anyway, two youngish blokes had sat in the back seat of a car at night to get out of the wind (presumably while they :beer: and :rasta: ). Then they tried to get out. The doors wouldn't open. With the ignition off, the electric windows wouldn't work.
Shit. Trapped.
Three hours of various attempts passed, doubtless arguments and confusion. Eventually they admitted that they needed help.
Another two hours of banging on the windows passed before someone noticed them and asked what the problem was. The lads explained they were trapped and the doors were "jammed" or "broken". This person went of to the CIT and got a few blokes to come deal with it.
The senior firefighter grasped the situation, and opened the back door by operating the handle in the normal manner.
He managed to get through the explanation of how child safety locks work before leaving to go and have a fit of hysterical laughter.
:facepalm: :lol2:
Job announcement through our state association:
Salary: N/A
Yeah I wanna work there.
Maybe they think it means 'not available' but it does not. Nope, don't wanna work there. More seriously, I won't even apply to a place that doesn't give a salary range up front. Before I go through all the hassle I want to know how much of a pay cut it would be. You think you're going to pay me 2 bucks an hour, you got another think coming.
IM - more and more companies are doing that.
I find it really troubling that I have to waste a lot of time and effort to
find out they want me to work for next to nothing. :(
I know I know I know...some of the strangest things make me giggle, but...
I was looking at the cafeteria menu for the day and one of the sides is BBQ Baked Beans with the following description:
This Zesty Pinto Concoction Is Great As A Side Or As An Open-Range Dinner.
An inner-city open range? What?
"Hey, pardner, rustle me up some of them there beans to go. Gonna jump on this here buckskin and eat 'em out on the open range. It just don't get no better than that."
Of course, it would be better if my horse were a Pinto instead. :(
I'm sorry. I can't stop laughing!
[YOUTUBE]-fcPLtZlxbQ[/YOUTUBE]
I was looking everywhere for my pencil. I just had it! It was just right here! Is it on the floor? Under some papers? Behind the keyboard? How the heck does a pencil run away?
Oh, there it is, I used it to put my hair up.
Knowing that in 2 weeks I am heading to the Bahamas for our annual rugby trip of Old Boy Debauchery..... totally looking forward to it.
chyea - you got my email right? :(
Dude you can stay with us.... just make the trip.
I couldn't afford the gas to the airport let alone the trip.
Oh, Hell, I would pay your gas....
One of our cats is snoring while sitting up ... Presumably dozing off. :)
Sent by thought transference
7 more days to the fun and sun...
So sorry you have to wait. Here in MI we have fun and sun right now :)
Today, Facebook's IPO is amusing me.
I think Zuckerberg is just trying to cash his chips in before the balloon pops. Who would by that shit? FB sucks. It's an evil company that everyone hates. People go there out of habit, but are doing it less and less. Some of my FB friends used to be pretty active, and they do nothing now. It's like a wasteland in there.
I only hope that none of my 401K funds are buying into that company.
you don't sound very amused, actually
5 Days to Fun and Sun!.....
Went to a pub for lunch today and there were two fire alarms... the second time the place started filling up with smoke. Both times the culprit was the steak sizzler... bad day to be that chef! Haha. We just opened all the windows and got on with our lives like nothing was happening. No one even considered evacuating, lol.
Leave in the am for Fun and Sun on the beaches of the Bahamas and a Rugby filled weekend....
The kids have been playing "Just Dance Kids 2" on the Playstation recently. It includes the lyrics to the songs on the screen, I guess in case you feel like singing along with your fly moves.
One of the songs is "Come Go With Me" by the Dell Vikings. That name may not strike a bell, but you definitely know the song:
[YOUTUBE]JmU-BcvHIZE[/YOUTUBE]
Except the lyrics on the screen have it transcribed as:
Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb,
Dumb bee do bee...
Heard Roy Hodgson interviewed today (new England Manager, we beat Norway 1-0 last night).
Now thanks to The Soaraway Sun's nasty headlines I knew he had a speech impediment, but I didn't realise it was coupled with a great Sarf London accent.
I fell about laughing.
Not in a mean way - I hope - but because he sounded like Dave the Dealer from Withnail and I.
I kept expecting him to refer to a Camberwell Carrot.
I would link the (Withnail) clip but it would have to include warnings for racist language, swearing, drug use and all that and everything.
Oh I loved Dave the Dealer!
This will have a tendency to make you vewwy high.
Two days at the new job, all is going well, but that is just background.
I was writing notes in an exercise book, so they gave me a nice hard cover note book. Lovely shiny hard cover, nice design, corporate logos, calendar inside, then you turn to the pages and find that someone, somewhere, interpreted the phrase "notebook" as "book of pages suitable for writing musical notes" and have produced a batch of beuatifully customised corporate branded A5 size books full of blank music score.
Yup.
:rolleyes:
:lol:
eta: the calendar is for 2010 and 2011. Can't give these things away.
Well of course, it's for composition. Duh.
In my session with Mars tgoday we had a warm-up exercise matching different facial expressions in photos, and idenifying them.
I was pretty proud of myself for finding a set of ethnically diverse pictures on the internet.
Mars was laughing at the face on his card.
"What expression do you have Mars" I asked, "What is her problem?"
"Her problem's that she's Chinese" he came back immediately.
Obviously an inappropriate response, which I discussed with him afterwards.
But the snappiness of the reply and it's flippant tone did give me a little internal grin.
I'm impressed with your ability to keep the grin internal. I would have cracked up laughing, I know it.
"Note" books now serving as monitor stand. :lol:
Local online news:
The argument escalated and Drunkman stabbed the victim with a pocket knife on his face close to his throat, The keystone cops said.
That's freaking talented. I don't know if the knife was attached with some sort of harness device or if he had it surgically implanted for just such arguments.
The world needs us...
- too much blood
- too much greed
- too much ego
... Whistlers, we can clean it up.
[YOUTUBE]7olGwnWVHsM[/YOUTUBE]
Drop in to see the student counsellor, she was talking on the phone. I'd missed the start.
Yes, we've been calling you for several days.
Yes, you do have to call us if you can't attend.
Yes, the exam was this morning, yes.
No, we don't set you another one, unless you have a good reason like a medical condition.
...
No, that is not an acceptable reason. We will have to give you zero for the exam.
...
Hello?
Yes, you have an exam tomorrow. One every day this week, in fact.
...
No, you do have to attend, or you will get zero.
...
Well, when does the European cup* end?
:facepalm:
*probably makes more sense if you know the games are shown on TV at about 3 am.
That's funny Zen, I just came in here to relate a humorous phone experience:
Phone rings, caller ID says the name is "Important Phone Call," which is a gambit I've never seen a telemarketer use before. I'm amused enough to actually answer it.
There is a very long pause, until finally a young man comes on and asks incredulously, "Are you from Texas?!" Like, the same way one would say, "Are you serious?!"
I hung up after that, but not before he heard me laughing. I wish I'd stayed on the line just to hear what in the world he could have been hawking.
"Note" books now serving as monitor stand. :lol:
That's sad.
Not.
[ATTACH]39143[/ATTACH]
:D
Well you see, young fellow, the reason that you can't find your Economics exam on the seating list is because that exam is on tomorrow.
Don't go away, though. Since you're in the foundation program, you must be doing Critical Thinking, right? Good, the exam for that is now, you should probably do that. Here's your seat number. Got your pens and pencils? Student card? In you go now!
That's funny Zen, I just came in here to relate a humorous phone experience:
Phone rings, caller ID says the name is "Important Phone Call," which is a gambit I've never seen a telemarketer use before. I'm amused enough to actually answer it.
There is a very long pause, until finally a young man comes on and asks incredulously, "Are you from Texas?!" Like, the same way one would say, "Are you serious?!"
I hung up after that, but not before he heard me laughing. I wish I'd stayed on the line just to hear what in the world he could have been hawking.
Next time put the number in Google search, and you can probably find out.
Q 12. If there are 150 students who are supposed to sit a mathematics exam today, and three turn up without calculators, three turn up more than 30 minutes late so that they must be refused entry, and three don't turn up at all, what percentage are total doofuses?
Fun fact: one of the late arrivals scraped in at 29 minutes 45 seconds late yesterday.
Yesterday I looked through the pictures in a book with Tiger.
We were due to start reading it. This helps children gain an idea of the narrative and allows them to decode unfamiliar words using context.
Seeing a spider illustrated, I used our old family word of bider. Look, Tiger! Bider.
Of course we then had a discussion abour spiders and biders and what the difference was.
I did not continue the fiction, but explained that this was a word used when I was growing up as my brother could not pronounce spider correctly.
All fine, all understood.
Except today, when actually reading the book, he identified the creature in the picture as a bider. He had counted the legs and there were six. In fact two were raised ready to walk, but Tiger assumed they were antennae (without knowing the actual word) as we have looked at mini-beasts in Science this year.
That's a bider Mrs Sundae, isn't it? A bider is different to a spider. But this one is a bider.
It didn't affect his reading, and was irrelevant in the story as it was just a detail in the illustration. But Note to self: do not assume you can explain whimsical anecdotes to an autistic boy.
In general I use humour to indulge in flights of fancy, to develop his understanding of idioms. Biders were a factual-sounding step too far.
I was checking out a Wiki article about
groins. No, not yours and mine, these groins (groynes in England) are used to help control shore erosion.
However, w/my juvenile mind in, uh, ahem,
high gear, so to speak, I was breaking up reading this article.
Picking and choosing phrases gives us these gems:
A groyne (groin in the United States) is a rigid hydraulic structure...
All of a groyne may be under water, in which case it is a submerged groyne.
[ATTACH]39186[/ATTACH]
Groynes are generally made of wood, concrete, or rock...
A groyne's length and elevation,...
Groynes that are too long or too high...
Groynes that are too short, too low, or too permeable...
Flanking may occur if a groyne does not extend far enough...
...groynes are often constructed...with a root...and a head.
Groynes can be distinguished by how they are constructed...
Groynes can be attracting,...or repelling.
Attracting groynes point downstream...
Repelling groynes point upstream...
Groynes can be built with different...shapes. Examples are straight groynes, T head, L head, hockey stick, inverted hockey stick groynes, straight groynes with pier head,...and tail groynes.
What shape is your groin? And, how permeable is it?
:D:D:D
mine is occupied by a slightly larger than normal dick, a couple nuts and an asshole.
(good one by the way grave! :thumb:)
Tonight's dinner is amusingly phallic. Sausages, sweet potato fries, and asparagus.
which did you bite first?
Shes getting laid right now. You'll have to wait
spoken in to my phone using tapatalk
All of San Diego's fireworks were accidentally set off all at once! The entire show was one big boom lasting 15 seconds.
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/07/entire-san-diego-fireworks-show-exploded-in-15-seconds-ruining-show.htmlOooooow, how disappointing :(
but at least they had truth in advertising...
...was advertised by the port as being "bigger and more intense than in past years,"
They really had (powder) keg on their face.
Tonight's dinner is amusingly phallic. Sausages, sweet potato fries, and asparagus.
I guess some of us
are Freudians!
We've got to give these Chinese kids advice about choosing an English name before they turn up.
I mean, Elvis, Caesar and even Rock are passable; Sunny, Cloudy and Happy, maybe, but Tequila? Cement? ... for GIRLS? :lol:
This insane article by maniacs living on the 'fringe'...
Well, I just hope this Vietnamese student never visits the ghetto.
"Yo, Xibit, my homie!"
"Whassup, Tan Dat Ho?"
A representative from Greenpeace came to the door.
I knew I was going to say no, but let her finish her immediate spiel out of innate courtesy.
And she was quite funky in a Goth way. I dig Goth chicks (for a couple of months after they've been buried anyway).
Tips for charity doorstepper.
If you want money, especially for a charity with a big cat on the recruitment form, do not look down as the pet of the house slinks into view and say, "Oh! What's that? Isn't it weird looking!"
Do not insist on calling said cat she when already advised it is a he.
Do not ask if she spooks all the other cats in the neighbourhood.
Bye-bye pretty Goth lady.
I have gas....amusing to me...the kids not so much :)
I thought all children found farts funny?
Then again, if they smell I can understand.
My Dad trumps like a bugle, but they don't smell. Really. It's funny.
My Mum lets out ladylike parps and they stink. And linger. And she doesn't have the manners to walk away either - I'll be sorting something out on the computer, or cooking a meal and she'll stand right next to me and let one off. EEEEWWWWW!
Tbag and I laugh uncontrollably...Adz gives me a dirty look and asks "what's your problem?"
No one is allowed to fart in Adz room, because its his space and he shouldnt have to smell anything he doenst want too.
I never know what to do when I am talking to someone and they obviously fart...given away by sound or smell.
Smell ones I know they know I know...I give everything away...but the sound ones I never know whether to point and laugh or just pretend it didnt happen.
We've had disco lights fitted in the bathroom. No, seriously! They're programmable and have a "sound-to-light" setting which means that farting in the bath will never be the same again!
Sent by thought transference
Seriously, though? That's what she said when she saw Dizcat?
What an odd response. I was blown away by how gorgeous he and Dylan were the first time I saw them. They're like the distilled essence of cat.
Keeping hold of the pronouns isa toughie. For some people all cats/dogs are coded broadly female, or broadly male. Usually depending on whether they're more used to male or female pets.
I've lost count of the people who assume Carrot is a bitch. Especially when I say his name. I don't see how 'Carrot' sounds feminine.
Carrot is clearly phallic.
Gourda on the other hand...
We've had disco lights fitted in the bathroom. No, seriously! They're programmable and have a "sound-to-light" setting which means that farting in the bath will never be the same again!
Damn. No time to visit this Christmas as we break up so late. I reserve the right to come fart in your bath at some time in the future. It sounds amazing. Take photos. Does this mean your bathroom is now 100% finished? It was pretty damn near when I came last time.
Seriously, though? That's what she said when she saw Dizcat? What an odd response. I was blown away by how gorgeous he and Dylan were the first time I saw them. They're like the distilled essence of cat.
I seem to get that response from non-cat-lovers, so perhaps it really is the distillation. Or from people with a moral issue against pedigrees, which they are entitled to.
When I first saw my boys I was captivated, but yes I did appreciate their peculiarity. I'd done my research, but seeing them moving was an entirely different matter.
Anyway, I think I missed one of the salient points of the story before.
I went into the garden to tell Mum & Dad who had been at the door, and also tell my story. Next door neighbour also sat in the sun and I heard her doorbell go. "Don't worry" I said over the fence, "it's just Greenpeace." She's a pensioner too. But she misheard me and leapt up out of her seat. Then the satellite delay caught up and she relaxed. "I thought you said the Police for a minute!"
Which made me grin at the idea she would have gone charging to the door expecting trouble. Glad she didn't. I hadn't intended to distress her - it was only after we'd laughed about it I remembered she has a grandson in prison.
Everyone in my neighborhood has their windows open. I know this without even looking outside, because it's game day and about every 20 minutes or so, I hear a booming chorus of cheers. It's like I'm at the stadium in my pajamas!
I never know whether to point and laugh or just pretend it didnt happen.
That's what pets are for, blaming.;)
It's like I'm at the stadium in my pajamas!
That's a funny place to put a stadium.
Boom Boom!
Apparently there's a town in the US somewhere called Mianus (not sure how it's spelled). The Jackass crew went there asking the locals about what sort of things are in Mianus. eg, is there a church in Mianus? Is there a swimming pool in Mianus? etc. It was the funniest Jackass stunt ever for me, although I was half cut when I was watching it, so that probably made it more so.
I love the jackass boys!!
That's a funny place to put a stadium.
:lol:
I had a real Beavis and Butthead moment when listening to the cycling during the Olympics.
One of the Malay competitors was called Awang. No, really.
On its own you can get over it, it's a name.
But to keep hearing in the commentary that someone has a wang catching up with them, or a wang on their shoulder or is desperately trying to get alongside a wang... Too much, too much.
Yesterday my new co-teacher asks, "What sound does astronaut begin with." You know the rest.
When ineptitude becomes comedy one can't help but be amused. It's an incredulous, bewildered, dumbfounded, head-shaking kind of amused, but amused nonetheless.
Even as I watch the Keystone Cops run this office into the ground, I laugh and I laugh. What else can I do? :clownsmilie:
Yesterday my new co-teacher asks, "What sound does astronaut begin with." You know the rest.
<makes rocket noises>
A student was in T's office and I told E: I think it's really nice of Scatman Crothers to stop in to talk to T for a while. (He sounded like him.)
Blank look. Well, she's young.
Then M (aka self-proclaimed end-all be-all expert on all things pop culture) comes along. He'll get it.
Blank look.
WHAAAAAAA? Hong Kong Phooey? The Shining? Twilight Zone: The Movie? Chico and the freaking MAN?
Sigh. Youngsters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D403cb1UD2o&feature=rellist&playnext=1&list=PLC738AD03BF347AA3You can tell a person's age by whether they try to give you detailed directions to an address...
True.
Reminds me of a very recent story. Our new neighbor (young guy) was leaving his parents house in upstate New York, near Albany, after a trip to pick up some furniture, and decided to rely on their GPS to get him back to DC. It took him due north initially, and he thought that was curious but decided to follow the directions because he thought it might know a better route. After driving for two hours deep into Vermont, he decided to look at a real map, because it just seemed wrong. The GPS had taken him in basically the opposite direction and he had to retrace his route, adding 4 hours to his trip.
the google logo is pretty damn cute today. just keep clicking on the down stripey thing. fun for all.
Hmmmm. What google logo are you seeing? This is what I'm seeing:
Reminds me of a very recent story. Our new neighbor (young guy) was leaving his parents house in upstate New York, near Albany, after a trip to pick up some furniture, and decided to rely on their GPS to get him back to DC. It took him due north initially, and he thought that was curious but decided to follow the directions because he thought it might know a better route. After driving for two hours deep into Vermont, he decided to look at a real map, because it just seemed wrong. The GPS had taken him in basically the opposite direction and he had to retrace his route, adding 4 hours to his trip.
Maybe he mistyped it as BC, and the GPS was just taking him to British Columbia like he'd asked?
Yes or QC, Quebec
User error seems most likely, since it was a device he wasn't familiar with.
re gps, young driver, unfamiliar territory...
Eldest son was gifted a new to him truck a couple years ago, here in Washington. He was understandably excited, and was looking forward to driving back to school in New York. We met at a coffee shop on his way back east at about mile one. I bought breakfast, checked in with him about the state of the truck, etc. He was undertaking this cross country trip with ample, no, a superabundance of confidence and enthusiasm. This was good, except it didn't make much room for, you know... reality.
I followed him to the nearest gas station where I filled up his tank, bought a few quarts of oil and an atlas. He'd intended to take this trip with his iPhone as his only map. :eek: What if the battery dies? What if you sit on it and crack it? What if what if what if, etc. Here. Take this map. Do it for me, please. He did, bless his heart, and he made the trip ok (one call for towing and another call for a failed ignition switch/steering column repair). I don't remember getting a call about being lost though. :)
http://www.google.com/
Try this one....it's animated
It's still that same image. Can you copy it and paste it?
It is? when I click on it it goes to the animated google thingy.
I have google chrome. do you have that?
Oh...that's probably it.
I'm using IE.
that's it, then. I tried my best and you know damn well I have no idea how to post things. When I DO manage to get something posted it's sheer luck and I can't remember how I did it.
Yes, my children laugh at me.
that's it, then. I tried my best and you know damn well I have no idea how to post things. When I DO manage to get something posted it's sheer luck and I can't remember how I did it.
Yes, my children laugh at me.
left click
save picture as...
save to desktop
come back
manage attachments
browse
browse to desktop
click on picture
upload
close attachment window
Voila!
They gave us a firefox or whatever link too...I can do it in there.
Cool.
A student was in T's office and I told E: I think it's really nice of Scatman Crothers to stop in to talk to T for a while. (He sounded like him.)
Blank look. Well, she's young.
Then M (aka self-proclaimed end-all be-all expert on all things pop culture) comes along. He'll get it.
Blank look.
WHAAAAAAA? Hong Kong Phooey? The Shining? Twilight Zone: The Movie? Chico and the freaking MAN?
Sigh. Youngsters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D403cb1UD2o&feature=rellist&playnext=1&list=PLC738AD03BF347AA3
My friend's cow orkers (several) didn't know the meaning of the phrase "as the crow flies".:facepalm:
My friend's cow orkers (several) didn't know the meaning of the phrase "as the crow flies".:facepalm:
:facepalm: the human race is not going to survive, you know that ... just wait, it'll be all of us oldsters who save the world in the zombie apocalypse ...
at least we'll know where, how, and as the crow flies :rolleyes:
On a recent hike, there was a sign that said our campsite was 1/4 mile away. I had noticed just a day before that the kids today read that differently than I do, so I did a little experiment and asked everyone going by what the sign said.
All the dads told me the campsite was a quarter mile away.
All the boys told me it was one fourth of a mile away.
I thought that was interesting, and I still do.
Fools! Two furlongs is two furlongs!
(clone post)
Foots! Two footlongs is two footlongs.
A student was in T's office and I told E: I think it's really nice of Scatman Crothers to stop in to talk to T for a while. (He sounded like him.)
Blank look. Well, she's young.
Then M (aka self-proclaimed end-all be-all expert on all things pop culture) comes along. He'll get it.
Blank look.
WHAAAAAAA? Hong Kong Phooey? The Shining? Twilight Zone: The Movie? Chico and the freaking MAN?
Sigh. Youngsters.
Scatman is IN DA HOUSE!
http://www.yumasun.com/sections/article/gallery/?pic=1&id=82831"]
Yuma Sun[/URL]
11/1/12
Two men attempting to enter the United States illegally were thwarted
when their SUV got stuck on top of the border fence early Tuesday morning
20 miles west of Yuma.
:lol:
You know, I reckon two blokes so car-dependent and lazy as to treat the border fence as a drive-through ... are practically Americans already. let 'em in!
That I was somehow banned from the cellar for the day. :)
Yup Ali got caught in the net I set up to catch Chinese spammers. I took the entire net down to let her back in - because we don't need it now due to
Akismet, and the special registration question about the tallest mountain in the world.
I had no idea Ali was chinese!
....and the special registration question about the tallest mountain in the world.
From sea level or base to tip? :eyebrow:
Robo-shills®
:borg:
We've secretly replaced once seemingly normal folks with robotic agents. Let's see if anyone notices.
Today, I am mildly amused by the fact that (short of a 911 emergency*) there is no way to contact law enforcement officials in the area in which I live. Evidently, there is no crime on Thanksgiving day in this county, so our law enforcement agents have all taken the day off and left the telephone voice-bot in charge.
Well, yes, it is Thanksgiving, and I think it's outstanding that these diligent public servants are able to spend time with their loved ones, although I question the wisdom of leaving the phone in charge of the entire county on any given day.
Be that as it may, I find that I am unable to notify the proper authorities that I have found some very interesting stolen property...
I may have mentioned at some point that, among other things, I'm a professional pet sitter. This morning, while walking a client's dog along the river (which has been raging due to extensive rain over the last week), I noticed a large box-like thing hung up on the rocks and assorted tree limbs that had collected along the bank at a turn in the river.
I couldn't get very close as there was a big pile of unstable flotsam and jetsam between me and the box, but after a few minutes of observation, I discerned that this box was in fact a small business safe or large home safe that had been pried upon in various places at the bottom edge and along the door.
[SIZE="6"]!!![/SIZE]
* Note: I did NOT try 911 out of frustration, although surely they've taken the day off, too.
I'd call 911. Surely someone is working the phone there, and it would give them something interesting to do instead of sitting there being lonely.
This plumbing van we just passed is amusing me...
I'm stealing that. :p:
Why?
My sense of direction, or lack thereof, can be very frustrating. I've been in tears when I've been out of state and I can't figure out how to get where I need to be, and I'm driving and driving and driving.
Well, I received a parking lot promotion. They move you up to better parking spaces as they become available. I would be in faculty/staff only garage parking. However, I couldn't figure out how to get to it...where is the entrance? To make it worse, they're closing my exit from the interstate to get into the city and that is going to totally mess me up too.
It's funny because my cow orkers are laughing and everyone is telling me what i need to do: go north, go to fifth street, you need to turn where that one thingy is, you were RIGHT THERE and I saw you turn around... :lol:
I'm thinking of passing on the covered parking because I like my lot and its location but I know this winter I would be very very very happy to not clear snow off my car.
I'm not just bad with directions. There seriously needs to be a new entry in the medical journals because I am, without a doubt, completely direction dyslexic.
That plumbing van is hilarious.
I'd hire them based on that alone.
My sense of direction, or lack thereof, can be very frustrating.
I've been in tears when I've been out of state and I can't figure out
how to get where I need to be, and I'm driving and driving and driving.
My wife had that problem too when she moved from her lifelong home
in western Montana to Dallas,TX... no mountains to help keep her sense of direction. :(
I can get lost on a flight of steps. I have no internal map. I can manage moving station to station if where I need is near a station, but if I have to actually venture out I am lost. Walking round London with Sundae, I was lost once we'd changed direction a couple of times. I could have been in any part the city for all I could tell.
I love that: get lost on a flight of steps.
That's how I am driving around this city...with all the one ways and stuff I get completely turned around and then I have NO idea where I'm going, which way I'm pointing, if it's two blocks that way or 9 blocks this way. Ugh...
The thing is, on foot, I can always eventually find where I need to be. But sometimes I may have gone a very circuitous route :p And I sometimes need someone to tell me the overall direction I need to be heading in.
That's all I want from them. Which general direction. Start throwing streetnames and left turns and T-junctions at me and I've already stopped listening. Because I'm stuck four instructions back from where they're at and have already forgotten instructions one and two.
General direction, one or two landmarks and get me a bit nearer so I can ask someone else for the next bit of direction. Absolutely no point my even attempting to follow full instructions in one go.
But I can't imagine trying to figure my way in a car. Particularly in cities with one way systems and ringroads and stuff.
I am a mean mommy.
Minifob jumps out of bed at 6:00 am sharp everyday, regardless of how tired he is. He could easily go back to sleep for another hour or more, but it's become an obsession--he says his favorite number is six and is brought to tears at the suggestion that we might ask him to stay in bed longer.
The holiday schedule has resulted in even less sleep than usual, plus we're both sick. We could certainly stand to sleep in past dawn. So before saying goodnight, I stealthily set his bedroom clock back an hour. Sucker.
where the hell is that like button !!!
I am a mean mommy.
Minifob jumps out of bed at 6:00 am sharp everyday, regardless of how tired he is. He could easily go back to sleep for another hour or more, but it's become an obsession--he says his favorite number is six and is brought to tears at the suggestion that we might ask him to stay in bed longer.
The holiday schedule has resulted in even less sleep than usual, plus we're both sick. We could certainly stand to sleep in past dawn. So before saying goodnight, I stealthily set his bedroom clock back an hour. Sucker.
Evil Genius
So before saying goodnight, I stealthily set his bedroom clock back an hour. Sucker.
[Jurassic Park]Clever Girl[/Jurassic Park]
A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do ;)
More amusement: We've discovered that our new oven has a "Sabbath mode."
For those not aware, there's this small, strange overlap of people who feel they must strictly observe the Jewish rule of "no work" on the Sabbath, and yet are too modern to give up any of the stuff they like to do on Saturdays that doesn't involve contemplating God in one's home all day. So you get weird rationalizations like, "you can ride in an elevator, but you can't push the buttons," such that elevators in "Sabbath mode" will automatically stop on every floor.
When Sabbath mode is engaged, the oven basically stays on for 12 hours, with the interior light and digital display functions disabled. Like the elevator, you can put stuff in it, and if it happens to be hot and cook your food, well, God will understand that you were an unwitting bystander to the work that your gentile appliance was doing.
Better hope the local firefighters don't observe the Sabbath when you accidentally set your kitchen on fire.
More amusement: We've discovered that our new oven has a "Sabbath mode."
Now if it had a "Black Sabbath mode", that would be really cool. :D
:gentile appliance:
and
:Black Sabbath mode:
are both wins.
Two sales people came to my door today and tried to sell me salad.
Cookies, water softeners, yard services, carpet cleaning... but salad?
As in, "All you need is a big bowl and we will prepare for you a fresh and delicious salad!" Then they handed me a flyer with information about the health benefits of foods like spinach and zucchini.
Ahhh, don't fall for it. That's the lesser known Big Bowl Scam. They steal these big bowls from people and use them to make stools for the kids in China to stand on so they can reach the manufacturing line. You get a nice fresh salad, sure, but all the Chinese kids get is hard labor.
Check with the local police. I bet they steal stuff while they're in your house.
I thought that, too. Or that they'd be scoping it out to see what they could come back for.
My dogs want to enthusiastically greet anyone who rings the doorbell, but they sound like murderous beasts, so it discourages a fair number of sales people and/or would be thieves.
I was once visited by a door to door fish salesman.
He seemed legit, but when he went through his stock list, the minimum quantities were basically catering size packs.
I wondered afterwards if he'd been let down by a local pub or restaurant and was reduced to hawking his wares before they began to smell. No jokes about being fishy please.
Holy Mackerel. I hope to Cod you didn't buy any!
Problem: Dog nudges open garage door.
Solution: Make sure door is clicked shut.
Problem: Dog learns to purposefully open garage door.
Solution: Close laundry room door to keep him from garage door.
Problem: Dog learns to open all doors with swift confidence and cannot be deterred from entering the garage or rooms with napping babies in them.
Solution: :eyebrow:?!?!
We're switching out our lever-style door handles on the two problem doors for round ones this weekend.
You should thank him--he's just preparing you for when Bean can do the same.
They do make "baby locks" for lever handles, by the way. But they suck. I've seen more than one kid defeat them in under 30 seconds. The knob covers for round knobs are pretty effective, though. At least for dogs. Extremely intrepid children may figure out how to rip them in half, but supergluing the halves together should prevent that.
But when you really, really need the door to stay shut,
this is the king of all door locks. Trust me.
Today I am amused by
some good troll work on Reddit.
The original question was "What's a secret you've sworn never to tell, but will gladly share anonymously on the internet?" The troll in question simply posted coordinates of a remote spot in the woods, leading others to wonder what was there...
(The original post did not include the image with the cipher that reveals it's all BS.)
"With this new route, their pickup time is going to be 7:15," the bus monitor says to me earnestly... at 7:30 this morning.
Sure it is, dear. Sure it is. As if their official pickup time has ever had any bearing on what time the bus shows up. 7:15 is actually when they had been showing up recently--but that was when their official time was something like 6:50.
Eva has discovered her own reflection this morning and is now mesmerised every time she scoots past a reflective surface or mirror. She's never been so quiet. lol It's funny.
The original question was "What's a secret you've sworn never to tell, but will gladly share anonymously on the internet?"
This is the whole point of postsecret.com. It's an interesting site. Check it out.
This is the whole point of postsecret.com. It's an interesting site. Check it out.
I love Postsecret. I check it first thing in the morning on Sundays!
I check it every Sunday.
Sent by thought transference
Sundays? what is it, e-confessional?
No, she means Sundae.
(PS I've never confessed on a Sunday - Saturdays are more common here)
This email I just sent to Hector's teachers and the school secretary about him missing school tomorrow:
Teachers, cc: School Secretay
Hector will not be in school tomorrow (Friday). He has a series of appointments with a team of petrified dihydrogen monoxide specialists, as we previously discussed.
have a great weekend.
Monster
It amuses me greatly :D And I am happy he's in a school where I can do this.
And today, to excuse the boys early from school on Friday:
"They will be attending a conference on regional differences in aggression in female aquatic athletes."
I slay me :lol:
That one went to the principal. :D
No wonder they fuck with you when ever they can. :haha:
At the end of the school year after the kids have finished all their exams etc and they're basically sitting around doing shit all and nothing all day, I'm one of the parents who do not require my kids to go to school, so I have to send in an email anyway.
I got a bit bored just sending in "Aden wont be at school today for a medical reason" so started sending in stupid reasons such as, Aden wont be at normal school today because he is going to clown school, or Aden will be busy being my slave today, or Aden can't come to school today because he's way to cool etc. Mainly because they all know the 'medical reason' is bullshit in the last week of school.
So anyway, when I went to get their uniforms, the lady in the office asked me if I was the one who responds to the absentee emails for the boys. I said yes, and she started laughing and saying how my emails had had the whole office in giggles wondering what the excuse would be tomorrow.
I was glad to have lightened their days. I think we all forget that most people are just people with a sense of humour, and most people appreciate it when you appeal to that side.
OK, so tonight there's been two different explosions in our general vicinity. One, a car blew up, and the other was a gas explosion (apparently) at some units about 10kms away.
Watching the kids on fb speculating is funny, so I'm entertaining myself by making stupid statuses and comments. Mostly about bogans. Cause that's pretty much all there is in either Beenleigh (unit) or Jacobs Well (car) which is where I live. lol
Maybe I should just go to bed and stop drinking.
Or maybe stop drinking then go to bed?
So Lil' Griff tells Benny to sit, Benny looks at me, I nod, and Benny sits.:D
A good dog'll do that. :lol2:
So, I tell Slick to [do anything], Slick looks at me, I say it again, and Slick does nothing.
I, too, am envious.
I don't know what it was, but something on the TV in the other room
just made me realize that in 1952 I graduated from Excelsior High School
in Norwalk, California in a class of more than 500.
My God. 60 years ! :eek:
Human life is very long. I thought I had lived a lifetime by the time I graduated from college at 22, and now that I'm almost 46, I feel like I've lived another lifetime since graduation. I can't imagine what the next 30-40 years will be like.
I'll tell you, glatt, it's like going to sleep watching TV, then waking up 40 years later and being able to recall a couple of shows that were on... or were they commercials?
Human life is very long. I thought I had lived a lifetime by the time I graduated from college at 22, and now that I'm almost 46, I feel like I've lived another lifetime since graduation. I can't imagine what the next 30-40 years will be like.
Vita Longa
I'll tell you, glatt, it's like going to sleep watching TV, then waking up 40 years later and being able to recall a couple of shows that were on... or were they commercials?
Ars Brevis
Omg i opened my back door to check the winter storm and a cat walked in. Cracking me up. I fed him and gave him water. Now he's happy to be warm. I have no cat litter though. I thought about walking him through the neighborhood but it is a hard sleet. Guess we're stuck together for a while. Lol!
I think that's nice IM. :) Might be just the ticket you need for now.
Here's something that's amusing me rfn.
Max is sitting on the floor telling me I'm a bad mother and I should do what I'm told because I said he can't have a sherbet stick. lol
I guess it'll stop being amusing if he doesn't knock it off shortly and he'll find himself feeling like saying I'm a mean mother too. lol
Max tried a little reverse psychology on you...clever. ;)
That cat came in, I gave him some of my egg, ham, cheese casserole I'd made for breakfast (seemed the best thing I had around for a cat) and a bowl of water. He ate, drank, clawed on my couch, jumped up on the couch to look at me, let me cuddle him for a few minutes, ran up and down the hallway at a hundred miles an hour for a minute, then stood at the back door yowling to go back out. I put a blanket out for him just in case but he must've gone home.
He has long hair that is well taken care of so I am sure someone owns him but there's no collar. Of course, as they let him outside they may not want the danger of a collar.
I'm pretty sure it's the same cat I saw around last summer. He's so funny, and pretty young.
I don't even know that it's a 'he' I didn't look.
Here's something that's amusing me rfn.
Max is sitting on the floor telling me I'm a bad mother and I should do what I'm told because I said he can't have a sherbet stick. lol
I guess it'll stop being amusing if he doesn't knock it off shortly and he'll find himself feeling like saying I'm a mean mother too. lol
Living dangerously, getting between a boy and his sherbet stick.:p:
I wonder if the cat will keep coming back from time to time. Maybe I should buy cat stuffs in case? I need to find out who he belongs to.
You could pin a note to it, like that dog.
Pin it to the cat's skin? :lol:
I don't think a wild man cat like that would put up with a sign draped over his neck. ;)
Really I could put a note up at the mailboxes.
Shave him and tattoo him. When the weather warms up, of course.
The online news from a local news station is just...terrible.
By ****
Staff Writer
DAYTON – A neighbor called at 9 p.m. to tell the resident her car was being turned into a smorgasbord with flower, mustard and honey poured over it. Police told the victim to take the vehicle to the car wash and determine if there was any permanent damage.
There was none, except for the wasted food, and the women told police it might have something to do with another woman, dating the father of her child. The other woman might think there is something going on when he picks up his child from the mother.
Yes. That's the whole article.
Yes, he wrote 'flower.'
:facepalm:
You have a write to your opinion.
Yes, he wrote 'flower.'
:facepalm:
What a maroon.
School newspaper asking students "If you could go to any country, where would you go and why?"
T, a young woman studying architecture, is printed as saying: "Tennessee to see the Parthenon replica because I love architecture and I want to see the Greek architecture."
I bet many of you were unaware that Tennessee is now a country.
And if you could go to ANY COUNTRY to see Greek architecture wouldn't you pick GREECE?
OH dear lord I worry for the future.
:lol2:
Some people may not be smart people, but they know what love is.
I drove past that replica at 3:00am once. I was passenger and napping, I woke up just as we were driving by, I took a quick photo and went back to sleep. I was WTF? for years. Still am to a certain extent.
My mom has been telling me about the things I used to do as an infant -- wedge myself under the couch, lock my body up so as to avoid my carseat, pull stuff off the shelves at the grocery store. I ask if my brother Nick, who has been laid back his whole life, did the same crap. "Oh, no," replies my mother earnestly. "Nicky was a cool baby."
I read that the twitter hashtag #nowthatcherisdead has been causing some panic amongst Cher fans
:yeldead:
My mom has been telling me about the things I used to do as an infant -- wedge myself under the couch, lock my body up so as to avoid my carseat, pull stuff off the shelves at the grocery store. I ask if my brother Nick, who has been laid back his whole life, did the same crap. "Oh, no," replies my mother earnestly. "Nicky was a cool baby."
your car seat? How old are you, like 18? In my day they didn't even have seat belts unless you paid extra for them.
Ya forgot to tell her to git offa yur lawn. :p:
your car seat? How old are you, like 18? In my day they didn't even have seat belts unless you paid extra for them.
And we used to ride in the back of my dad's pick-em-up truck. He told us not to sit on the wheel well but I often did. I see anyone in the back of a truck these days and I think "they're gonna die" and "isn't that illegal?" and "hillbillies". :lol:
My memory of riding in the back of a pick up truck was that you would get sand blown into your eyes. It sucked.
I saw a couple teenage girls riding in the back of one down the freeway recently, all hunkered down behind the cab. Squinting and kinda curled up. I had nothing but sympathy for them.
I rode in the basket of a hot air balloon on a trailer once. The dad who was driving told us to duck if there were any cops. That was kind of fun, but the wind was really whipping through the wicker when he got on the highway and my buddy and I had to sit down on the floor of the basket.
I loved riding in the back of the truck. It was like a privilege, though it was mostly because there were too many kids and cabs weren't extended back then either.
I rode in the basket of a hot-air balloon in the air once. ;) It was way cool.
I drove past that replica at 3:00am once. I was passenger and napping, I woke up just as we were driving by, I took a quick photo and went back to sleep. I was WTF? for years. Still am to a certain extent.
Heck, I pass ancient Mayan ruins along I-75 all the time.
snip--
I rode in the basket of a hot-air balloon in the air once. ;) It was way cool.
Like what they put on the front of the gondola next to the bell? Like Toto?
:snicker:
No, like food baskets. Like when you get chicken strips and fries at Arby's. I rode in that. It was the yum.
Ocean's Edge...at first I was like HUH then I was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
One review I read:
Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approchable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.
Did you write that? Because it's really funny and sarcastic and right up my alley!
(And Welcome! I've been remiss in welcoming you. I thought maybe you were an existing dwellar with a changed name, too. You're quite funny and a great addition to the Cellar. Now, did I read that new guy dwellar is your guy? Even better. Two for one!) :)
No, like food baskets. Like when you get chicken strips and fries at Arby's. I rode in that. It was the yum.
Really made me laugh.
Thanks IM, yep JamesB = "Him"
I must say the welcome here in the Celllar has been warmer than I've ever had on a forum - even my own!
Nope, can't take credit for that one - wish I could - LOL
I just came across that and was like "wtf?" and then enjoyed the giggles
Yeah, there are a bunch of good comments. I love that.
Welcome JamesB, too!
Ocean's Edge...at first I was like HUH then I was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
One review I read:
Did you write that? Because it's really funny and sarcastic and right up my alley!
(And Welcome! I've been remiss in welcoming you. I thought maybe you were an existing dwellar with a changed name, too. You're quite funny and a great addition to the Cellar. Now, did I read that new guy dwellar is your guy? Even better. Two for one!) :)
That was hilarious. I also liked this review:
1.0 out of 5 stars Missing the batteries
I can't find a switch to turn it on, and it didn't come with batteries. This is not the "for her" product I was expecting. At all.
The pen-is mightier than the sword.
Not without the batteries though. :haha:
I hope this doesn't reformat. I got an email in my spam account that came out looking like this:
We at Careerbuilder definitely know how hard it is to find=
a decent job. Our team of submit ion technicians analyze thousand of jo=
bs to deliver you the best promotional opportunities. Our business partn=
ers ABC Business International have ranked high in our statistics and we=
are promoting their Job Opportunity directly to you for your notice: =
=
Description Operations C=
lerk/Online Office Sales =
Salary: $2,000/month (plus 5% for every completed order) =
Job duties: =
[COLOR="Red"]&bull[/COLOR]; Plan,direct, coordinate=
the customers; =
[COLOR="red"]&bull[/COLOR]; Receive/send payments; =
[COLOR="red"]&bull[/COLOR]; Keep accurate records of al=
l company's transactions. =
[COLOR="red"] &bull[/COLOR]; Manage the company's online business bank=
ing. Requirements =
Qualifications requirements: =
[COLOR="red"]&bull[/COLOR]; Str=
ong communications skills( to be able to communicate with customers, inv=
estors, partners, management); =
[COLOR="red"]&bull[/COLOR]; Solid analytical and problem solving s=
kills; [COLOR="red"]&bull[/COLOR]; =
Strong planning and organizational skills to balance and prior=
itize work; &b=
ull; Good computer skills; =
Please send your resume and cover letter at [email]hr@abc-inter.com[/email] =
to be considered for this position. =
If you have any questions or need assistance, please contact =
Client Support Specialist at 800-891-8880. =
Thank you, =
CareerBuilder Promotional Team =
This is not a spam. If you have questions regarding this ema=
il please contact customer support at =
800-891-8880. =
It did reformat a little but the &bull parts cracked me up. Must be an HTML thing? Anyway, I got enough bull here.
My next job will be in a NO BULL (OR BULLY) facility. :rolleyes:
I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss that. It sounds totally legit.
I never know when you're employing sarcasm. ;)
Yeah, isn't Careerbuilder legit? I'm pretty sure they are. Certainly if things happen that I expect to happen I can keep resources like that, and monster jobs, in mind.
But I can't do sales. I am the worst. The very worst.
Hey, Red Bull has a heck of a promotions budget, you know.
HA!
Actually, I should have made it clear: I made the [COLOR="Red"]&Bull[/COLOR]s red.
Red bull...snickers.
Sorry! I was being totally sarcastic. Looks like computer generated spam to me.
Technology has totally passed me buy.
I was a relatively early adopter of home computer/interwebz, for these parts, and without having the computer knowledge. I started with Windows 3.1 and knew how to use the dos prompt to get where I needed.
I can barely read websites anymore. I still haven't figured out my damn wireless crap (and I told them to just hook the freaking cable up I didn't need wireless) even though I've printed 9000 pages on what I should do.
I know I should call but calling tech support is a giant anxiety trigger for me. I have been helped a lot by many techies but I also get the ones who talk to you like you're the dumbest person on earth. Which makes me a deer in the headlights unable to speak (like what happened with HR last week.)
Just a tangent. I used to think myself fairly computer savvy. No more.
I got the same careerbuilder spam! But it was correctly formatted.
My culture from my jacked-up eye came back today. It was not MRSA, which is great because that shit suuuuuuuucked.
It WAS E. Coli though...WTF?!
I'm good about hand-washing. Best as I can figure, I had a cold that turned into a sinus infection, then was going in and out of hospitals last week as part of the new gig.
It might not be your hands that need washing...
I keep my body clean...I bathe at least once a week. ;)
I mean it might not be YOUR hands that need washing.
The mm just finished a phase of wiping her ass on the shower curtain or almost anything other than toilet paper. There were a few instances of suspicious face cloths left where one would ordinarily expect a clean one.
I told her to knock it off. We'll see.
Yesterday there was a guy standing by the road in a Guy Fawkes' mask with a giant cardboard sign that said "Honk if You Hate Taxes." It amused me because no one was honking, and he was getting really agitated trying to get people's attention at the stop light.
That made me smile. I can totally picture it.
I wish all nutters would just hold signs instead of blowing shit up.
Yesterday there was a guy standing by the road in a Guy Fawkes' mask with a giant cardboard sign that said "Honk if You Hate Taxes." It amused me because no one was honking, and he was getting really agitated trying to get people's attention at the stop light.
Maybe the drivers read the sign, as I did...
"Honk if You Hate Texas."
We have fecal bacteria all over our bodies, really. You could have infected yourself in your sleep.
Well, I did break my foot in my sleep...still haven't figured that one out...
I mean it might not be YOUR hands that need washing.
The mm just finished a phase of wiping her ass on the shower curtain or almost anything other than toilet paper. There were a few instances of suspicious face cloths left where one would ordinarily expect a clean one.
I told her to knock it off. We'll see.
Ew.
If it doesn't work, maybe you can get one of those rigid cone shaped collars for protecting a dog's ears from being scratched, and have her wear it as a skirt. Of course, that means you need to find alternate means of, well, you know.
Still. Ew. Good luck.
Got Bob Marley on the youtube for work background music.
Remembering college, playing this album over and over, and my roommate and I calling Redemption Song "The Damn Chim Song." Because it sort of sounded like The Damn Chim Song, and we envisioned Chim as being a fun-loving little monkey who was always getting into trouble. "Damn Chim...dammit Chim...look what you've done."
Maybe you had to see it to be there. :lol:
Well, I did break my foot in my sleep...still haven't figured that one out...
See, that's why I keep a spare. They come in...handy.
TFIBHAW, try the Pig's Trotters!
... with an imaginative ending
[YOUTUBE]tj7al6MXu7U[/YOUTUBE]
Two things, both pretty childish.
Qestion on the quiz I watch every evening with the 'rents - some questions are harder than others and it's sometimes a case of speed over substance.
"A stuffed crust pizza is usually filled with what?"
Me and my poor hearing, and the fact the question was answered suitable fast made me swear he replied, "Jizz."
The onther night, we had a Police helicopter circling overhead. Crime can happen anywhere of course, but we always immediately think of the Younfg Offenders institute up the road. Which has an evil repuutation within the prison community apparently.
Anyway, Mum comes down in her nightie.
"Can you hear that helicopter circling?" she says.
"Yes," says I, "have you come to put the chain lock on?"
"No," says my nosey mother, AND WALKS OUTSIDE IN HER NIGHTIE TO GET A BETTER LOOK!"
"You'd be great in a horror film, Mum," I tell her, not unkindly.
When she goes back to bed I put the chain lock on, double check the back door and draw down the kitchen blind. Just in case.
It did make me giggle to myself though.
My culture from my jacked-up eye came back today. It was not MRSA, which is great because that shit suuuuuuuucked.
It WAS E. Coli though...WTF?!
Well that explains your shitty outlook on things.
A new meaning to stink eye
Some joker in the dentistry department set the students an assignment on oral / dental X-rays. It was a case study report about a woman, Megan Raye, and her son Xavier. Yes. Xavier Raye.
Saw it
:rolleyes:
five times
:right:
today
:facepalm:
My sister who is very nontechnical when it comes to cell phones or the internet called me with a new big problem. She dropped her phone, an HTC model and shattered the screen.
She told me she was just going to cancel her contract and get a new phone as it was too expensive to replace the glass. I explained that the contract would not cancel, she would pay it out as well as one for a new phone.
Next day I get call from her saying she her contract only has a month left so no big deal but she now wants to buy an unlocked iPad mini because she heard it can be used as a phone. Before I even explained that it can via Skype and other apps it is not really a phone and I tried to picture her driving in traffic and trying to make a call on a big tablet and hold it up to her ear... my sister is a very bad driver already. I also explained that while an unlocked phone has some advantages it is also much more expensive. She said she would get back to me as soon as she makes up her mind.
:3_eyes:
Swooper swoops in.
(random voices, raised a notch or two) Oh HAI, oh yes we did that Oh listen I'm on the phone speaking very loudly to a student, do you hear how good I am? Oh yes, of course we can do that...that's wonderful.
Swooper: You're all so wonderful and so great and so perfect and stuff. Thanks for all you do.
Randoms: Oh yes, oh yes, watch me walk really fast to the file cabinet to show how busy and industrious I am. Do you see me working closely with my team? I'm a team player. Team all the way, that's me, team team team.
(who's that girl sitting in her cube processing? What's wrong with her?)
Meh.
Meh. Meh is it. Keep on meh-ing. Do not care. Mind over matter - you don't mind and they don't matter.
I never watched much of the original Star Trek series.
By the time it was being repeated here it was already dated.
Imagine my surprise today when a random article informed me that Ensign Chekov was Russian.
I thought he was Scottish!
Yes, there's the name and all that. But the accent threw me.
Blame Sean Connery, with his vast repertoire of foreign accents.
I think everyone sounds Scottish.
The Scotsman on Star Trek: The Original Series was named...
Montgomery Scott
or Scotty for short
Pretty frickkin stereotypical, but then TOS was kinda obvious about everything, because it was network television after all.
(The character is currently played by Simon Pegg.)
I must get round to watching the new films.
Pegg, Cumberbatch and all that.
I was a big fan back in the day, had the DVDs and everything.
Well - of The Next Gen and Deep Space 9.
They started to lose me by squeaky-Janeway, even though I liked her hair. And Enterprise was sexy but had no soul. Or I'd lost mine.
I watched a Star Trek film in a cinema in New York.
We were in the white minority. Felt weird, but good in a way.
One of the few films I've been to where people applaud at the end. I think the others were all on the first day of relaease.
Had to amend as I said premiere.
With all I've done in my life, I have never attended a premiere/ walked the red carpet.
Shopping for a Mother's Day card for my wife
Didn't get it but maybe should have
[ATTACH]43987[/ATTACH]
Does it say anything else on the inside?
Yeah, some appropriate stuff like "but we turned out to be good parents." It's the cover that made me laugh.
Well, at least the inside didn't say "Happy Mother's Day!"
Well, at least the inside didn't say "Happy Mother's Day!"
:eek:
Thesaurus abuse.
" ... more than 50,000 cars enter the city [strike]daily[/strike] circadian-rhythmically".
i went to a friend's house yesterday. earlier she had walked downtown and had a beer at a restaurant outdoor cafe. there were some 20-something guys dressed up...some as hippies some in disco garb. they were having a party and were desperately seeking a disco ball. my friend's husband had one...plus some other party lights. they bought them and invited friends to their party a few blocks away.
some things are just too serendipitous: they'd looked everywhere for a disco ball, and it was pure chance my friend was there and overheard.
so my friend and i walked by later. they were outside and invited us in to see the lights, and offered us a beer. nice kids. and their costumes were freaking awesome...i had my phone why didnt i take a picture?
i pride myself on being ageless...as much a kid as the next guy, but i felt a little old! but oh they made me laugh and i made them laugh (dancing to a disco song in their disco room) and i hope they had a grand old time.i suspect by the time they were really getting going i was home watching a movie (arsenic and old lace, even) in my jammies. :)
another thing:
ran into a good old buddy i've known since jr hi. we were talking about the 30 yr class reunion coming up and he said he might not go because his life is kind of screwy right now. i said i know t
whatchoo mean, just loss my job. why he asked. a difference of opinions you might say, i said.
he says (sarcastically): what? you've never been opinionated! and we laughed and alughed.
another thing:
ran into a good old buddy i've known since jr hi. we were talking about the 30 yr class reunion coming up and he said he might not go because his life is kind of screwy right now. i said i know t
whatchoo mean, just loss my job. why he asked. a difference of opinions you might say, i said.
he says (sarcastically): what? you've never been opinionated! and we laughed and alughed.
Thats always fun.
I keep reading Classic's usertitle as chock full O'farts
Snicker
Mildly amusing me today is (once again) Rugby League.
There was a Big Game last night. There were fisticuffs involved.
Blues skipper Paul Gallen says he punched Queensland's Nate Myles in the head as a mark of respect.
Full story, with video of the "vigorous discussion" at
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-06-06/gallen-takes-a-stand-in-myles-incident/4736284
That's at least three punches to the face. Penalty? One week's suspension - for the swinging arm in the tackle, not what happened afterwards.
More fun quotes:
"It's a compliment to him (Myles). He's a tough player and someone had to stand up to him."
Blues coach Laurie Daley backed up Gallen, praising the front rower for what he felt will become a defining piece of Origin history.
"That was a great Origin moment as far as I was concerned," he said.
Maroons coach Mal Meninga agreed with Daley, choosing not to read too much into the incident.
"It's Origin," he said. "We're comfortable with what happened."
They're all thugs. You know that right?
On Hiway 99 in Tigard, OR there is a rotating sign...
* Youngs Funeral Home *
[COLOR="White"]* Flag Day... Is it time to retire your flag ? *[/COLOR]
* Drop Box Inside *
laughing at Him right now - he calls it Origins of the Species series - Cromagnon vs Neandrathal ...
*snicker*
I got finaid for the summer
I got finaid for the summer
You should be able to swim like a mofo now! Awesome news.
another thing:
ran into a good old buddy i've known since jr hi. we were talking about the 30 yr class reunion coming up and he said he might not go because his life is kind of screwy right now. i said i know t
whatchoo mean, just loss my job. why he asked. a difference of opinions you might say, i said.
he says (sarcastically): what? you've never been opinionated! and we laughed and alughed.
Yeah, didn't go to my twentieth for same reason. Didn't make my thirtieth because my husband couldn't make it. Really wanted to show him off too....like, "Look at me...I'm normal now" lol
LOLs, more mild amusement from Rugby League.
State of Origin, game two, round two.
The governing body announced a crack-down on fighting. I'm not sure any told the players (or, at least, told them using enough crayons and finger puppets that they understood ;) ).
This time four players were given ten minutes in the sin bin for fighting. Both coaches agree this is "ridiculous" or "silly".
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-06-27/merrin-cops-ban-but-players-remain-confused/4785604?section=sport
Game three in a few weeks. :boxers:
It's a cold rainy winters day. I look out my window to see the oval across the road, where about 40 otherwise sensible adults are running around a muddy field chasing an oddly shaped ball. In pouring rain. And wind.
They look happy. Silly sods.
Yeah I've got this guy whose back yard lines up with mine. He says he's a philanthropist/art collector/ whatever, but he's too busy to mow his grass. Last year he bought a rider mower which is great only that he cut the grass twice the whole year, driving the thing at 45 mpr-had it up on the back wheels one time. Now he's got these grape vines all over, I mean it's like a horror movie-they're into everything, including my black walnut tree. He's never home, probably out scouting the next crystal ashtray, so anyways I'm out there with anything I can to pull that vine off my trees. Now who's the nut?
“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you’ll look back and realize they were big things.”
- Robert Brault
Our vine colonised both our neighbours' gardens.
Mum was paranoid about us being nuisance neighbours despite the fact we're always home and keep our own garden well tended. So she tried to track down the offending parts of the climber and snipped them off at source.
What this meant was said neighbours had dead vines in their trees/ bushes.
I had to laugh at her consternation. Best laid plans and all that.
I don't think either of the neighbours noticed.
Mildly amusing:
Big, voluble man in front of me in local shop, on phone.
"Nah, don't worry about a barbeque. Fry up some sausages, stick them in a roll and just put some shit on them." :yum:
I didn't follow him home for lunch.
My guys showed me that when you do a google search for "Big Sarge" my picture is the fifth image. LOL
Rugby league, State of Origin, game three.
No punch-up this time, just a streaker late in the game.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-07-17/streaker-keeps-the-maroons-from-scoring-again/4827096I can't find the thread in was in, but after that Korean airlines crash in California, some joker got a TV station to announce the crew names as Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi To Lo, Ho Li Fuk and Bang Ding Ow.
Korea replies.
Nicely played, Korea.
[ATTACH]44950[/ATTACH]
I usually could not care less about Hollywood, actors, etc.
But this tickled me...
[QUOTE]Jane Fonda and Alan Rickman will be playing Nancy and Ronald Reagan
in the upcoming film "The Butler," inspired by the true story of Eugene Allen,
a domestic servant at the White House from 1952 to 1986.
Larry Reyes, a Naval veteran who hosts a Facebook page titled "Boycott Hanoi Jane Playing Nancy Reagan"
(which has 435 followers), told a reporter, "The moviemakers are free to choose,
but it seems like it was their way of giving people like me the middle finger."
And on Brietbart.com, John Nolte wrote, "The casting of Fonda was meant to be a finger in the eye
of conservatives from the start, and now it looks as though the entire film is as well."
Jane Fonda as Nancy Reagan? Yeah, that's gonna ruffle some feathers.
saw this in the checkout line last night. I laughed out loud. Almost bought it.
[ATTACH]44977[/ATTACH]
That wine bottle pose is hysterical.
with white gloves (cotton or latex ?) ;)
:lol2:
With the gold wrap on the bottle, I guess that is champagne (ok, sparkling white) ... ready to burst open and spray everywhere. Jus sayin.
There were predictions that headline writers would have impulse-control issues too...
Mum, calling up the stairs, trying to get the answer to a crossword clue.
"Gay comedian, you like him, a bit squat, ginger."
I know my Mum.
"Eddie Izzard"
I did follow this up with a shout that he wasn't gay, but a transvestite, but her cheery response of, "Okay!" makes me think it didn't really register.
Amusing me is how Eva's desire for food is helping her develop all levels of her motor skills.
When Eva gets out of bed, the first thing she wants is her breaky, then she wants out of her high chair. Its the next bit thats funny. She just goes sort of nuts. High speed crawling and loud exclamation sounds which intersperse constant chatter. She does it every day. Its very funny.
This is one of the cutest stages ... when a child has his/her own language, some motor independence, and you get to watch this little person explore and discover. Enjoy!
Our kitten does much the same thing :D
Sent by thought transference
Ywah, kids and animals are all in the same social group. lol
When Eva gets out of bed, the first thing she wants is her breaky, then she wants out of her high chair. Its the next bit thats funny. She just goes sort of nuts. High speed crawling and loud exclamation sounds which intersperse constant chatter. She does it every day. Its very funny.
That's great. Very cute! You should be videoing this for posterity since it's such predictable behavior.
Reminds me of our son when he was about 18 months. Except when he would wake up, he would scream and cry inconsolably for about ten minutes and absolutely nothing would help him. But after ten minutes, he'd be fine. I still don't know what that was all about.
After her daytime nap Eva likes to be carried to a certain chair which she likes to sit on with you. From there, she will get down and go her own way. If you try doing it some other way, she gets the shits. Shes a very bossy baby.
Just got this email from one of my gardening clients:
Hi. Can u pull dead patients when u visit
:/
Tell her you're too impatiens to do all that! :lol:
I am a Nielsen Family of one.
I got an envelope from the Nielsen family. Enclosed was two crisp one dollar bills! I used it to help buy cigs when I hadn't been to the bank for a couple days. Thanks, Mr and Mrs Nielsen!
Enclosed was two crisp one dollar bills!
We were a Nielsen family for a week about 20 years ago, and they only gave us $1 then.
It's funny that they upped it. $1 was a laughable amount back then for everything they wanted us to fill out. It was just the token gesture so we would feel obligated to do the work. I wonder if they did studies that people today won't feel obligated if you pay the $1 but they will if you pay them $2.
I don't know. I really did feel an obligation to fill it out, because of the TWO BUCKS. But it was online and really quick. They didn't even really ask me much about TV. They asked if anyone in my house had a working cell phone, is there a working landline, am I Hispanic...but asked for a phone number and email in case they deem me worthy of further exploration.
I didn't like giving my phone number but if I don't know who's calling I don't answer anyway. They can leave a message if they want.
We were the radio equivalent about 7 or 8 years ago. There was a dollar or two in each envelope at several steps in the process: first notification where we agreed to do it, then when they sent us the booklets to fill out, then some reminder halfway through the week to make sure we hadn't forgotten about it, then maybe another one after we were done. I think stretching the money out like that was probably pretty effective for them.
We were a Nielsen family for a week about 20 years ago, and they only gave us $1 then.
It's funny that they upped it. $1 was a laughable amount back then for everything they wanted us to fill out.
It was just the token gesture so we would feel obligated to do the work.
I wonder if they did studies that people today won't feel obligated
if you pay the $1 but they will if you pay them $2.
That was just a fore-runner business practice that the social media have jumped upon.
The $ gave the Nielsen company ownership of your responses.
FaceBook, Google, etc., have since done the same thing,
but they just declared their ownship, and skipped the $ part. :rolleyes:
We did it just last year. All we had to do was wear a monitor when we were awake. IIRC, it paid like $10 for signing up, $20 after 1 month, and $30(?) at the end of 3 months for each of us.
Day before yesterday Popdigr received a recall notice from Chrysler regarding 1993-98 Grand Cherokees, and the possibility of a fuel leak in certain types of rear end collisions. They're gonna install a different kind of trailer hitch for free.
I can't wait to see the guy's face when we bring in a 20 year-old Jeep w/225,000 miles on it for free shop work.
By the by: When it got down deep into the single digits here a couple weeks ago, I just knew I was in for a new battery and alternator. See, the battery in GrandCherokeeOne is seven years old, and the alternator, yeah, that's Original Equipment right there, son. 20 yrs old, 225,000 miles!
And she cranked right the fuck up in that 4 degrees.
From back when cars were built to last.
In the grocery store this afternoon...
Wife: "You're buying Yoplait?"
Husband: "I have a coupon."
Wife: "Do you like Yoplait?"
Husband: "I like coupons."
Kid: "I didn't know you even liked yogurt."
Husband: "I like coupons."
Wife: "Okay, well, you may not serve that at the party tomorrow..."
Coupons.
[YOUTUBE]pRRMvDUPPLI[/YOUTUBE]
I think I shocked Mum just now, by reciting some dirty limericks during an advert break.
Well one of the questions was which verse form has four lines, quatrain, limerick or sonnet. We both knew the answer of course, but I can't help wanting to show off and say how many lines the others were, and then give examples. Luckily I don't have any sonnets fully committed to memory.
But it was a little odd, because she's got an earthy sense of humour, and has heard far worse from my mouth!
Aside for that, we laughed like silly schoolgirls this afternoon. Chap came to assess the house for energy ratings or some such standard needed to sell it.
He was here for ages, taking photos and using a red light pointer and stuff.
After a while we just got giggly about it, in the living room while he was upstairs, imagining him taking selfies with my knickers on his head, or chasing his red light around her bedroom like a cat.
Tapatalk doesn't want to load anything this morning on my phone. So instead of sitting in bed browsing through the Cellar while sipping a mug of coffee, I needed to go into the old home office and sit in the uncomfortable chair to see what's going on in the world on the desktop.
Stupid flaky tapatalk.
[/First world problems.]
Here's today's thing I'm supposed to read with a straight face:
"Suppose you've been assigned to work on the team for CATxil, the new feline antidepressant laced with catnip that was just launched."
A pussy perker!
....now you can blame your inability to keep a straight face on me! :D
Well everyone likes a perky pussy.
This was the first post at the top of the page. I was forced to back up to see what that was about. I had to. :lol2:
The responsible party would no doubt qualify as IOTD and for inclusion in that thread, but I suspect that he or she has suffered enough, so it's here instead.
[ATTACH]47050[/ATTACH]
A proposal to build a further 80 new homes was put before residents of Weston Turville this week – but developers scored an own goal by spelling the village’s name wrong.
The Pegasus Group held a community consultation on Monday to outline the development on four hectares of agricultural land behind the Holiday Inn and Calibre Audio Library on New Road, Weston Turville. But the promotional literature, pictured above, didn’t impress visitors.
Gillian McCree, who lives in the village, said: “On all the handouts asking for comments, and on all the boards showing maps, it was shown as ‘Weston Turnvile’.
“I was amazed to stand in front of a board with such bad mistakes. It doesn’t fill one with a lot of confidence. It shows complete lack of commitment and no attention to detail. If they get the name of the place wrong, what else will they get wrong?”
Residents have until March 31 to submit their comments.
Mrs McCree is concerned about the volume of traffic during the construction period and the lack of infrastructure (schools, doctor’s surgery) to support the development.
Literature seen by the Bucks Herald shows the village also named as Weston Turnville
Pegasus director Mervin Dobson, who is meeting with Weston Turville parish councillors tomorrow (Thursday) said: “It was a typographical and human error, it won’t be a reflection on the planning application.”
He said following the consultation process the plans would be reviewed and a planning application submitted within two to three months.
The Bucks Herald.My dad used to live there. Church Cottage.
Sent by thought transference
My dad used to live there. Church Cottage.
Sent by thought transference
Tis a small world!
Presumably somewhere along Church Walk or Church Lane then?
Used to take the dog for a walk down there. I understand that property values have recovered since Noel Edmonds moved out.:rolleyes:
Church Walk, Weston Turville.Doesn't look familiar. It might have been Chantry Cottage. And my dad wasn't Noël Edmonds, and didn't enjoy having him as a neighbour. My dad moved to Cornwall and so did Noël, I think. Or Devon.
Sent by thought transference
OMG your Dad was being stalked by Noel Edmonds?
Seems like it!
Sent by thought transference
Chantry Cottage, Weston Turville:
[ATTACH]47054[/ATTACH]
This the place by any chance?
That's the one! The vertical transoms(?) in the upper windows are hinged and bolted in place to allow ingress and egress of a coffin, should you die in your bed, as the stairs are too steep and narrow for elegant in-coffin descent.
Sent by thought transference
I'm confused, what are they trying to do there? The developer builds these 80 units, then sell them to individuals. Or sells them all to the local government who then rents them out?
Or were they just trying to get the locals in favor of the project, so they'll prod the local officials to approve it?
Who owns the land now?
I'm confused, what are they trying to do there? The developer builds these 80 units, then sell them to individuals. Or sells them all to the local government who then rents them out?
Or were they just trying to get the locals in favor of the project, so they'll prod the local officials to approve it?
Who owns the land now?
I'm not sure if there is now a statutory requirement on developers to run a consultation exercise, but certainly it pays them to get local people on their side from the beginning. Nothing puts up people's backs more than a planning application of any size that appears as a bolt from the blue. Parish councils hold little sway in these matters. They'll discuss the application and tell the planning authority, in this case Aylesbury Vale District Council, whether they support, or object to, the application.
Parish councils tend to be a useful conduit for public opinion but sadly lack any real clout.
In this instance the proposed development is at the very edge of the parish and, without looking at a map, I suspect that it is nearer to the edge of Aylesbury than the recognised settlement of Weston Turville so I suspect that no real objections will be made..
I'm not sure who owns the land but I believe that the Church of England owns a lot of land in the area which is rented to local farms.
The above sentence is subject to confirmation!
Anyway, it's 0630 and I must be off to Aylesbury for the week's grocery shopping. Wish me luck.:eek:
Almost forgot. As far as I am aware the houses would be for private sale.
OK thanks, then this is a private deal and they just jumping through the proper hoops.
Nothing puts up people's backs more than a planning application of any size that appears as a bolt from the blue.
Absolutely, we old farts don't like change... or whippersnappers on the lawn.
Land has always been a contentious commodity for you folks, hasn't it.
The very few that had it, and the power to hold it which is just as important, could rent it out or hire people directly to work it for them.
And everybody else can go to...
...the new world.
There really wasn't much choice. You wouldn't need land to be a fisherman, but where are you going to live? butcher, baker, candlestick maker... need a shop.
I guess an executioner could camp out. :rolleyes:
That whole situation with the land is real alien to us over here. But may not be for long.
Just got out of a training class on patent filing. It was a good refresher.
The amusing thing was the poor attorney giving the power point presentation had her computer hijacked remotely during the middle of the class, and the hijacker opened up her firm email account while it was being displayed on the big projection screen. Clicked through a few emails and then loaded some updates and restarted the computer. And then proceeded to change a bunch of settings and stuff. She gamely tried to keep talking, but with no slides or handouts, and with a bunch of distracting stuff going on behind her, it was hard to pay attention.
I still don't have any idea what happened. Looked like when you give control of your PC up to the help desk so they can fix shit remotely.
After about 10 minutes and a few phone calls, and an IT lady showing up, the power point was restarted. But the damage was done.
:biggrin:
Now that would perk up a somnolence-inducing powerpoint presentation!
Did she realize? If so, why on earth would she continue presenting and pretending nothing was going on? If it happened to me, I'd be saying 'just one second' to the audience and shutting everything down STAT. Then I'd carry on without benefit of powerpoint, I suppose, or repair with the audience to the nearest bar to discuss computer hijackings and patent filing. ;)
... Then I'd carry on without benefit of powerpoint, I suppose, or repair with the audience to the nearest bar ...
You get a gold star today doc, for using the word "repair." It's seldom heard anymore outside of the military as in "failure to repair" (i.e. meeting both conditions of being at an appointed place and at an appointed time).
makes me wonder where that went wrong.
My first instinct is to fault the IT desk, since if they did it in person, and showed up to find them doing something on the computer they wouldn't just shove them out of the way and take over the computer. the same respect and courtesy should be shown remotely, since everyone knows that it's a tool used for important tasks by the user/owner of the machine.
It may be the case that it was automated, scheduled ahead of time and it just went off automagically. oops, I guess I shouldn't have tried to drive my car to the store while it was on the lifts at the shop, bad me.
that emails were opened up makes me think that it was a person doing the work.... why someone who was responsible for updating a computer would have any legitimate reason to troll through the email.... that sounds wrong. when I work on someone's computer, for updates, say, I don't read through their email. that sounds like snooping, at the least.
Or, it could be that the owner of the computer didn't realize there was an open connection to the helper person, and the helper person... anyhow... what a screwup.
You get a gold star today doc, for using the word "repair." It's seldom heard anymore outside of the military as in "failure to repair" (i.e. meeting both conditions of being at an appointed place and at an appointed time).
Repair: to betake oneself (to an appointed place). Intransitive verb.
Dang, I didn't realize this was uncommon usage. Maybe that's the reason no one understands me. ;)
eta: anyone who appreciates the use of 'repair' as an intransitive verb is, by definition, sexy.
eta2: the military usage includes time as well as place ... I've encountered that in literature, although the dictionaries don't mention it.
I don't think it is all that uncommon, someone just doesn't get out much
Perhaps it's uncommonly uncommon. No gold star for you.
... someone just doesn't get out much
Well, thank you very much. That shot was clearly earned.
I've seen it in print, but never ever heard it used in conversation.
Well, thank you very much. That shot was clearly earned.
good lord you are sensitive. "Someone" was not you :rolleyes:
I don't think it is all that uncommon, someone just doesn't get out much
:snort:
I've seen it in print, but never ever heard it used in conversation.
Must be a code word expats use to identify each other. :D
The pallet load of unsold snow shovels has finally been removed from the foyer at my local Tesco.:)
For Dwellars beyond these shores, most of the country didn't have any snow this winter.
Given the rain we had, they could have made a decent profit from mops, buckets, snorkels etc.
Shoulda shipped the buggers over here. Stores sold out months ago. All of my snow shovels are falling apart from use.
This did not happen where I worked.
Did not happen to me.
Ohnononono...
It's a hypothetical situation which I just thought read better if I assumed the persona of the person to whom it happened, withal.
On the checkouts today, doing overtime.
Lady had two avocados. Could I find them on the Weigh options? Could I buggery. (Turns out they were in Salad, whereas I'd been searching for them in Fruit)
Lady leans across and says to me, "They're avocados."
Yeah, thanks love. Come to the Cellar, we've discussed them often enough.
Different lady asked me for £10 cashback. "Can you give me some ones and twos [pound coins] for the parking?"
"Of course, no problem."
So her £10 is given as one £5 note, one £2 coin and three £1 coins.
No, it turns out she wanted it all in coins.
"I did say that."
"So sorry, my fault."
"I told you that when I asked for cashback."
"I do apologise."
"I need it for the parking machine."
"STFU BITCH."
Ahem, the last comment was only made by the hypothetical cashier in their own head.
Said person already bright red at having to call a Supervisor to re-open the cash drawer.
Talked to another cashier who knew her (there was something distinctive about her) and she said really, not to worry.
Oh and was told - TOLD - to put the heavier items through first by another customer, because it made packing easier.
Yes it does, dear, but having to stand up and heft large items you have placed in the middle of your shopping rather than at the front is really a courtesy you should ask for. One I would happily oblige, rather than adopting the tone of voice you'd use if I was sneaking bites of your shopping while you're not looking.
But it was amusing, because 97% (made up statistic) of the customers are lovely.
They talk, share something of their lives, compliment the store and the staff (and the person working on the checkout - not me of course). And you get to see many more products than you do just walking through the store or even shopping. Quorn Scotch Eggs?!
Oh and sometimes people come through who recognise you from your previous roles.
Including my most favouritest Thursday customers, who know me by name and miss me, and the Keens Cheddar couple, and the chap who always had pork, chicken & ham pie until I got him to try Gala Pie for free (we were out of one and trying to sell through the other).
Graffiti on our local playground...
Now there's a formula for fun!
Lola sitting on her own doorstep. Haha
Lola sitting on her own doorstep. Haha
???
In other news, what's amusing me are
a) my farts smell inexplicably of Chinese food
b) yesterday it was about 65 or 70 degrees and windy as fuck, then today it began to cool off. rain, continued cooling and I looked outside and there is an inch of snow.
???
In other news, what's amusing me are
a) my farts smell inexplicably of Chinese food
b) yesterday it was about 65 or 70 degrees and windy as fuck, then today it began to cool off. rain, continued cooling and I looked outside and there is an inch of snow.
b) it's called spring. We Canucks swim in the nude when it hits -10 C.
a) I have nothing. Bad fortune cookies? No, that would be Japanese ...
Yeah but at -10C (14F), Canadian water is just starting to get lumpy. :haha:
Lola sitting on her own doorstep. Haha
Ha...I wish.
???
In other news, what's amusing me are
a) my farts smell inexplicably of Chinese food
b) yesterday it was about 65 or 70 degrees and windy as fuck, then today it began to cool off. rain, continued cooling and I looked outside and there is an inch of snow.
You need to read about hoe Lola locked herself out. ;)
You need to read about hoe Lola locked herself out. ;)
that's not a very nice thing to call her. :(
I just read that Bernard Hopkins (
[COLOR="DarkRed"]age 49[/COLOR]), WBA & IBF light-heavyweight boxing champion, is one victory from being the undisputed light-heavyweight world champion.
Also,
he wants to fight 45-0 Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
Mayweather wants to break Rocky Marciano's 49-0 record. I guarantee you Mayweather will not fight Hopkins.
Bernard Hopkins is one bad mothershutyourmouth.
Story
here.
Hopkins has already beaten at least one opponent 19 years his junior!
He is a bad man!
I saw the Spirit House today while passing through Georgetown, NY.
http://www.jubileeinitiative.org/sacredspirithouse.html
The 19th century had some awesome nutters and a fair percentage resided in upstate New York's "burned over" district.
Of course we still have nutters...
[youtube]tNUrYOIsiIk[/youtube]
You get a gold star today doc, for using the word "repair." It's seldom heard anymore . . .
Really...?
Not that I've used it in conversation in the last twelvemonth myself, but that isn't long enough to obsolesce a meaning.
I just heard an ad for a "felting class" at an art gallery downtown.
I could've sworn they said 'felching class'!
:lol2:
Mildly amusing me today is that a guy approached me while I was waiting for a light to change and asked me about my sneakers. What the number on the side was. And who made them. And where I got them. And then said he liked them a lot.
Amusing me and bewildering me. They're just cheap sneakers I got at the discount shoe store.
[ATTACH]47436[/ATTACH]
They do have reflectors though, which is smart for walking man.
[ATTACH]47437[/ATTACH]
your post reads like a Sherry story!
He asked about your sneakers, what number, who made them, where'd you get them, etc. And your part was about your surprise and amusement, their cost, but at least you tied it all together with a clue about the discount store.
:p:
New Balance sneaks ain't what I'd call "cheap". They're not
real expensive, but they damn sure ain't cheap.
These were.
They were on the discontinued rack of the already discounted shoe store. I think they were $26, which for a real leather sneaker by a major manufacturer is pretty cheap.
Well, I guess you get a pass.
This time.
[Size=1]Fucking D.C. bigwigs with their fancy cameras, their wood kayaks, and their $26 shoes...[/Size]
[Size=1]Fucking D.C. bigwigs with their fancy cameras, their wood kayaks, and their $26 shoes...[/Size]
:lol:
And their Zima, hula hoops, and Dan Fogelberg music! Oh, and Pac Man video games.
Walking Man...how on earth did dude get a 'number' from an N?
I was wondering that myself.
The real time generation of TV subtitles seems to be a work in progress and some howlers are produced as a result.
This letter appeared in today's edition of The Times:
Sir, On Friday’s TV London news, in an item about heart attacks, there appeared the subtitle:
“The only way to bring someone back to life is to use a decent beer later”.
J Anthony C Martin
London SW18
Well, it amused me:)
Haggis, neeps and tatties.
My dad... ah, my dad... two gems from this afternoon's 2+ hour conversation with him:
"And that's why Democrats are the ones who join the army!"
"And that's why the Japanese never invent anything!"
Every once in awhile he drives me to the limit, but usually I can't help but just laugh and shake my head.
I don't even know your Dad and I'm laffin! Those are funny, right out of the box, and I can't imagine that context could make them funnier.
:p:
What's mildly amusing me tonight?
I am.
I intended to send a photo of Diz snuggled around my arm to some nearly beloveds, with the mildly amusing annotation that I couldn't use my right arm. I sent the text just fine. Didn't manage to attach the photo. Didn't realise until I got a worried call from my bro asking whether I had any movement in my arm at all and when I had noticed it.
Luckily he saw the funny side (we laughed and laughed and laughed at how silly Cherry was and ohthankFSM she hasn't had a stroke) and even allowed me time out to resend the text with photo so as not to worry anyone else.
If you have to give someone a false health scare it's probably best that it's family, because they're stuck with you regardless.
Note to self, my bro actually takes my health more seriously than I realised.
That makes two people today.
Awww....
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk
Yesterday I was mildly amused by this:
I was walking a stretch of the bike path and was coming up to a spot where there are side parts for benches. As I approached I saw a cat...no, that's a piece of bark (we've had storms galore and there is a lot of tree debris around) shaped like a cat. I'm getting closer and closer...is that a cat or cat-shaped tree debris? The piece of bark gets up and walks. (Hey, bark...cat...bark...cat...that right there is funny.) So yeah, it's a cat. On the other side, I see a paper bag. No wait, is that a paper bag or a cat? It is also a cat. Then I see another cat. And another. I was talking out loud to myself "well look at all the kitties...hi kitties..what are you all doing here?" then I saw a fifth cat. None of these cats looked anything like any of the other cats. Well, that's weird. Who knew the bike path was home to a cat society? Then I saw old butter bowls, someone is feeding these cats. It can't be a nearby homeowner, well it might be but this section of the bike path is built along an old railroad line and it's nothing but densely wooded with undergrowth ravine on both sides.
Then I turned around and went the other direction and about a mile away there was another cat. Cats galore! It was a kittieful day.
Speaking of bike paths, how does an old dude fall off a tricycle? I hear the bambilance and look out my front window and there's an old dude laying on the ground next to an adult tricycle. He didn't just fall off he had dirt on his knees and his stomach. He was fine, the medics checked him out and they were there before I even knew he was out there (usually in such a situation I go to the scene to see if there's anything I can do until help arrives...coupla weeks ago I comforted some kids who had just been in a car wreck...woman had a broken leg but all was OK otherwise) but I sort of wish I had known what was going on because I still don't get how a man falls off a tricycle and gets dirt all over him. I just don't see how it's physically possible. Anyway, perhaps he should join the cats on the bike path.
And that's all the news that's fit to print. I'll be here all week, try the Meow Mix.
My dad... ah, my dad... two gems from this afternoon's 2+ hour conversation with him:
"And that's why Democrats are the ones who join the army!"
"And that's why the Japanese never invent anything!"
Every once in awhile he drives me to the limit, but usually I can't help but just laugh and shake my head.
He's actually very close on the second point. the Japanese are not big inventors but they excel at taking existing inventions and improving them.
i mowed yesterday morning in the 4 hours of not rain we had.
I know what you mean. It's been raining like crazy here. :cool:
I crack myself up! :lol:
Something in another thread reminded me of this exchange about an old friend:
1stShe: If his Mama was alive, she'd spin in her grave.
Nobody that was present caught that, but, this was the reply:
2ndShe: Honey, if she ain't spun yet, she ain't going to.
It's not often, but, occasionally it's fun to be surrounded by Kentuckians.
Something in another thread reminded me of this exchange about an old friend:
1stShe: If his Mama was alive, she'd spin in her grave.
Nobody that was present caught that, but, this was the reply:
2ndShe: Honey, if she ain't spun yet, she ain't going to.
It's not often, but, occasionally it's fun to be surrounded by Kentuckians.
Kentuckians sound remarkably similar to rural eastern Ontarians.
We are a bad influence on the neighborhood.
When we first moved here 7 years ago, we were the ONLY people doing fireworks in our driveway. Every 4th and New Year's, we were out there, and over time the occasional neighbor began poking their head out, or slowing their car to watch our current fountain or whatever finish before they continued on their way.
Tonight, there were no fewer than 5 other houses within sight on our street, all doing large fireworks in their driveways. Hooray for cultural Darwinism!
More than mildly amusing me - I guffawed and scared Diz.
But it's probably only mild amusement if you don't know the people concerned.
Excerpts from a mail Mum sent me this morning:
After breakfast he cleared the table then disappeared again. I did washing/wiping/folding and putting dry washing away.... He is still on sofa playing with his blood pressure gauge and packing and unpacking his ‘man bag’. He does this every day in case someone has magically put some new toys in the bag overnight.
He got this idea from Steven, who popped in one night after work, with his posh leather man bag. Dad took a fancy to it and told me he wanted one. I said NO straight away but he was hunting on the stalls the next market day. I stepped in and pointed out a cheapo grey fabric bag on a strap. He used to have something similar for his old larger cine camera if you remember. That got thrown out in the move by me (he he).
It was £5 and he is thrilled with it. Lots of little pockets, zips and poppers. He unpacks and repacks it every morning BUT he still can’t find a bloody thing when we are out. He hadn’t repacked his bus pass last week when we tried to get on the bus for his doctors appointment. Luckily between us counting out our coins we could afford his fare. He got a right nagging about that.
...
Anyway, must get on and see where dad has got to in his quest for man bag supremacy.
Hahahah. That last line made me lol.
'Man bag'...that brings to mind a couple of visuals...
...but, I have to say, 'man bag' beats the hell outta 'murse'.
Pravda...have you read it today? You would swear you're in an alternate universe:
http://english.pravda.ruWhat is Barack Obama's motive for "building a circumstantial case" against Russia? Why is this, excuse my French, filthy demonic bastard targeting Russia? He comes right out and says what he is up to. He no longer has any shame about how he has caused war and destruction, terrorism and fascism throughout the world. He is a duplicitous hypocrite of the highest order. The only conclusion that can be made is that he is itching to involve Russia in a war, a war he desperately needs to cure his economic shortcomings as a "leader" and to cement US world domination.
That's wonderful. (
link)
In another thread I said that
'The English language is remarkably flexible and I always think that it is a bit like Linux, available to all to adopt and adapt to their own requirements'.
It appears that someone has used that freedom somewhat irresponsibly...
[ATTACH]48684[/ATTACH]
London ITV News.Maybe they were going for a laugh to relieve the tension of disappointed customers. Nah, I don't think so either. :headshake
I made such excellent pitches to some local clients today that, unless I get major increases in staff and equipment pronto, I'm fucked. I have just beckoned some major players into the fold, and I'm working on a project for another client that could mean endless spinoff business. Pleased but just a bit terrified. But what the hell: it's only business. After cancer it's small potatoes. ;)
I keep having those moments lately, although on a different scale. Haha. It is scarey, but great to be generating new business. :). Good for you ortho.
Mr. Clod got a professional haircut at 1 AM last night.
See, his stylist--which is funny it itself, that he has A Guy that he's been going to loyally for ten years, and I just take whoever can see me on short notice at the J.C.Penney in the mall--is Muslim, and they're in the middle of Ramadan. Which means no eating from sunrise to sunset, but apparently modern Muslims have created a workaround whereby they stay up all night eating and partying and sleep as much as possible during daylight hours.
Mr. Clod is always up late anyway, and his stylist joked that he could easily get him in around 1 or 2 AM this week, and he readily agreed.
That is mildly amusing!
But at the same time, now I wish I could get a haircut late at night.
Always adjusting for reality. :D
Trust me, all religions have work-arounds.
Where you think Mardi Gras comes from?!
Live in any city with a reasonably sized Muslim population and Ramadan makes Advent calendars with chocolates in look normal (in my day, Advent was a time of prayer and reflection second only to Lent).
I just had a friend of mine totally get shitty with me because I joked about religion, Christianity in particular.
This is what I wrote:
Is that ironic that a lot of Christians look down on the Mormons? The Mormons get made fun of for golden plates by people who believe that a being in the heavens is watching over them.
Coming home yesterday I was embarrassed by a creaky railing seat.
They have them at bus stops, to make sure you don't sit there for any longer than you have to. Works for keeping the local yoof away from bus shelters, not so well for genuine passengers trying to catch buses which regularly run late.
Anyway, as I sat down the bench thingy gave an almighty squeaky groan.
The only way I can describe it was the sound of a loud suppressed fart which someone had tried to squeeze out quietly, but failed.
Certainly the man next to me thought so. He stared at me, and shuffled down the bench.
Now I know my sphincter was 100% shut, so it's not like there was a smell.
What made me smile afterwards was that he bum-slid towards an old man who really smelled of wee.
I know because after Mr Disgusted got on his bus, the old man came up to me to ask for a bite of my sandwich.
I gave him what I had. Partly because I was forcing it down anyway, partly because if you have to ask a stranger for a bite of a sandwich you must be in desperate straits (if a stranger asks you for your shirt etc)
And sorry, bruises, cold sores and all, I still wouldn't want to have a sandwich back after someone else had had a bite.
Leeds. Nice.
So, slightly dark humour, but I reviewed it in my mind later and giggled.
Just because you have a suit and a briefcase, doesn't mean you have a sense of smell :rolleyes:
Just because you have a suit and a briefcase, doesn't mean you have a sense of smell :rolleyes:
Almost Confucian. :)
That is a pretty funny story.
It would be interesting to read from the suits pov.
There I was, minding me own business... And this bird plops her self down next to me on the bench there, and lets fly with et!
Wot? She farted?
Yeeee, just like that. Like it was the thing to do, mate. Then she looks me dead in the eye and smiles!
Hahaha...
And then, I moved away from her in case she actually pooped herself, only to find myself next to an old giffer who'd actually weed himself.
Honestly, Leeds.
And do you know what?
I got the next bus even though it wasn't the right one, just to get away from them, and a young lad puked just across the aisle from me.
Just wasn't my day for bodily fluids I guess.
The local movie rental shop closed down a couple of weeks ago, and i would say, sold the debt for all the overdue rentals to a collection agency. Everyone is now on the community page having a whine about it. Some have bills for over $500! lol. Maybe they should return things on time. I cant believe that they think its so unfair.
My juvenile rewording of Boom Clap (the sound of my heart) :lol:
I'm being mildly amused, RFN, by Momdigr who has two Jehovah's Witness-looking fellas in the front yard. They both have their hands in their pockets, nodding their heads, and, I notice that their mouths aren't moving.
I'm sure they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into.
:D
heheheheh... "Let me tell you something..."
So apparently my great-great-great grandfather fought in the Civil War. A couple months back, our family was contacted by some Confederacy historical preservation group, asking for permission to put a special commemorative headstone on his (at this point unmarked) gravesite.
We said whatever, knock yourselves out, but we declined to make a donation to help pay for it.
Then they got in touch again, saying that the headstones were ready and they were going to have a dedication ceremony for about 10 soldiers, and they would really like a few of each soldier's descendants to come witness the event and receive a certificate or whatever. My mom figured why the hell not, and went.
When she got there, the organizer was freaking out because they had expected 5-7 people per family, but one soldier's family had RSVP'ed over 100 people. They had to scramble to add tons of extra chairs, and created a second registration table so it wouldn't be a bottleneck. To simplify things, they just said, "Everyone from this dude's family go to this table; everyone else go to that table."
Except then more people start arriving, and it turns out... this soldier in question didn't die during the war. He went on to get married after the war and have lots of children and thus all these copious descendants.
And the woman he married was a freed slave. All of his descendants are black.
So now there is one registration line for the white people, and one registration line for the black people, surrounded by Confederate flags. And my mother comments to one elderly black woman, "Well, I bet they weren't expecting for this to be so awkward."
And the woman says to her with a grin, "Why do you think we all came?"
I just topped off 5 threads in Nothingland ... I did a Gravdigr!
That is an awesome story, Clod.
So now there is one registration line for the white people, and one registration line for the black people, surrounded by Confederate flags.
:facepalm:
I just topped off 5 threads in Nothingland ... I did a Gravdigr!
:cheerldr:
hahahaha. Hey Grav, you're like, a thing now, man.
Heh, I've always been some kind of thing. Ask anybody.
Great story, CF. And congratulations. Gravdigr!
Dude done went full digr on dey ass.
I'm still alive. :bolt:
That's usually a good thing.:D
Remember this guy? He's mildly amusing me today...
I've never seen this guy, but I hope his son manages to look back (someday) and appreciate him. From the sign in one of the pics, I suspect he became something of a celebrity with the kids on the route ... at least, I hope so.
About six weeks ago we got a dozen "feeder fish" for the turtle. Turt ate 4 of them right away, and then left the rest alone, as he did with the last bunch.
Only this time one of them is not a standard feeder fish, but some other sort of fish, and it's now 3" long and much larger than the rest of the surviving feeder fish.
Fishzilla! :eyeball::eyeball:
Looks like a few mollies and a goldfish?
Well I guess it's a good sign that it can survive, what with the battle of turtle shit going on. I guess the filtration is good enough...
The ammonia level from the poop usually wipes them out.
I ended up with a HUGE (probably 6-7") goldfish that started as a feeder for my Piranha.
After a while, they just didn't bother with him.
Goldfish can be surprisingly hardy. We got one from the fairground when I was little. He lived for about 15 years irrc. And for the last 5-6 of those years he was totally blind - he was put into another tank for about half an hour whilst my bro cleaned his tank out - and the other fish in that tank bit out his eyes. still kept going.
He was called Tom.
Yesterday, Popdigr picked two fresh, ripe tomatoes off his tomato plants. Yes, he still has tomatoes, even though they were covered last night, they still took a pretty hard frost hit.
It made 25° last night here. 21° is some parts.
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I still have three tomatoes in the garden, they're green and likely to stay that way. I ate the last two ripe ones last night.
glatt, that is so funny...goes along with my post in the mental health thread on ways to get to sleep.
I would replace strange noises (which don't bother me much unless it's on a Paranormal Activity level) with "Ways in which I've totally failed." :lol:
I lump the total failure category in with the "why did I do that?" category. But I totally hear what you are saying.
And I saw the other thread after I posted this and was kicking myself for not posting it there. It would have been perfect!
Heh, 'why did i do that' sounds innocuous enough that if i had a successful life I might ponder it.
'ways in which I've totally failed' refers to catastrophic failures. Like, lifetime stuff.
Just messing with you. Part of my shtick is self-deprecating humor. Part of it is true. :)
Thor missed school on Friday to play in a hockey tournament. I emailed the usual "series of appointments with solidified hydrogen dioxide experts" excuse (this is maybe the 5th or 6th time between the two boys in a very small/close-knit school, all the teachers/admin know what he is doing....) I just checked in Powerschool (the online electronic grades/attendance record) and he is marked down as having a medical excuse :lol:
I remember one time last year I emailed the school and told them Mav was going to clown school that day. The lady that processes the emails responded by saying I'd given her the best laugh she'd had all day. It was the end of the school year and there was nothing doing at school.
Goldfish can be surprisingly hardy. We got one from the fairground when I was little. He lived for about 15 years irrc. And for the last 5-6 of those years he was totally blind - he was put into another tank for about half an hour whilst my bro cleaned his tank out - and the other fish in that tank bit out his eyes. still kept going.
He was called Tom.
I had a long lived funfair goldfish too. I was studying World Powers of the 20th century at the time. Our cat Tinker ate Mao, rather appropriately. But Ho Chi Minh lived for years . With eyes. He was my first minion. I trained him to swim into my hand so I could clean his tank. The net spooked him. Then Muffin ran off with it anyway. The net, not the dictator .
Somebody is drunk at Google maps. I started to report all the mistakes I found in this neighborhood in North Arlington, but it would have been much easier to draw a picture rather than use their push pin method of reporting mistakes. So I just commented that the whole neighborhood is wrong.
Everything in pink was drawn (and labeled!)by a drunk intern and doesn't exist in the real world. Everything in red is in the real world, but not on their map.
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They have fixed a major thoroughfare since I saw these mistakes last night. That one was finny, because there was no road on the map, but if you turned on traffic, it showed a green traffic band going through the woods.
Looking at a new series on Netflix... And this one-star review of the show in question gave us pause, then snickering, then cackling:
Only a man-hating (also boy hating) 30-40 year old over the hill angry hag feminist (or closet gay male) could enjoy this show. A show about a man with large peniis? A female pimp? Really? Why are HBO, STARS, MTV and Hollywood so hostile to heterosexual males? They must not want our business. How long until the lead character in this HBO series has clients who are gay or transgender? It won't be long. Sooner or later HBO will turn everything gay. They always do! Why is it that heterosexual males continue to watch this anti-male crap. Then again, I guess they don't! I just heard that this anti-heterosexual male show has been cancelled. Good riddance! It was just another hateful anti-heterosexual male movie by liberal HBO! They wont even let us males see a ring girl in HBO boxing, but they feel the need to blast us with over head with over the top gay programing. Hollywood, HBO and Showtime also feel the need to show a mans peniis in almost everything they make, but NEVER a females vag!na! They just keep showing the same old tired and lame female breast shots or sometimes, very rarely (a censored with genital wig) bush shot. HBO has a double standard when it comes to full frontal nudity. And for all those females who want to say that HBO and Hollywood have been showing breasts forever, well breasts are in no way equal to showing genitals. Lets see some uncensored full female nudity! I hate censorship! More and more heterosexual male subscribers are dumping HBO and Cable. HBO has lost a ton of male subscribers over the last 3 years! HBO and cable are very worried, but continue to blame it on other factors. If you are a heterosexual male that feels the same, JOIN US! -dump HBO and cut the cable cord!
wait, was the reviewer this "Blon" guy banned in Australia, Brazil and now the UK?
Well I'm kind of amused that last night I had to act like the only adult in the room at my granddaughter's 2nd grade Thanksgiving Day performance.
The school music teacher had a performance for the parents and families of the kids singing some pretty funny turkey themed songs. We got there kind of early to drop her off to get ready and took a seat in the auditorium. The place started to fill up and after a while I noticed smoke a few rows up or at least it looked like smoke from someone smoking. So I watched the guy, I guess he was a dad or grandfather but every so often he would stick this pen like thing to his mouth and take a big drag and then puff out a mix of smoke and steam or the like. I guess I'm sort of dumb but that's the first time I've ever seen "vaping" I guess.
It drew a few stares from other parents but no one did anything. After about 10 minutes of watching this guy who apparently has a real addiction problem or just really wanted to make an ass of himself by testing the system I got up to go find someone in charge. I ran into a teacher and explained that a man in the audience was smoking an e-cigarette, she looked shocked and said that wasn't allowed and she would get someone. I went back and took my seat and a few minutes later the assistant principle taped my shoulder and asked what was wrong. So I got up and walked back to get out of earshot and told her. She said vaping and e-cigarettes are totally not allowed in any of the schools and said she would watch the guy, so I took my seat. About 2 minutes later he takes a long drag and lets out a mouthful and she was on him in a split second. He looked kind of surprised like it was perfectly normal to pretend smoke in an elementary school.
I guess he agreed to stop as he didn't do it again but I really wondered what an asshole he must be. Smoking in public places especially schools has been taboo for many years and for crying out loud we are talking little kids here. I can remember back when I was in high school in the 70's and they even had a smokers courtyard for the kids to smoke in so they wouldn't do it in the bathrooms but that was 40 years ago!
Oh well, made me feel better to be the only adult in the room! ;)
Good move. People like that make me :eyebrow:
Ali, and her spare orgasms.
My ex. She has now divorced husband #2 and has gotten engaged to another guy with whom we both went to High School. Hopefully he keeps her occupied and out of my life. Unfortunately is seems she is stalking me on FB and liking EVERYTHING I post.
Post the divorce papers.
:jig:
Better him than you, at least. :)
Why can she see what you post?
We are "friends" on FB. This is a very new development. They've only been dating about 3 months. We really don't interact much on FB, but since the engagement ... literally every post gets liked and many are commented upon.
Nude envelopment?
Where do I sign up?
Ali, and her spare orgasms.
Wait, is she sharing?
This video compilation of pets making human sounds:
24 Pets Who Can Talk Like HumansNot really amusing me because it's pretty macabre, but we have a slow flowing drain and I poured some draino down through the inspection plate to try and move things along a bit, and then a toad popped up near the hole. I tried to get him out, but he hopped back down the drain, so now I keep thinking he's going to disolve in the draino and become this toad skeleton at the end of the drain against the wall of the gravel pit.
Gross i know. Please don't judge.
Not really amusing me because it's pretty macabre, but we have a slow flowing drain and I poured some draino down through the inspection plate to try and move things along a bit, and then a toad popped up near the hole. I tried to get him out, but he hopped back down the drain, so now I keep thinking he's going to disolve in the draino and become this toad skeleton at the end of the drain against the wall of the gravel pit.
Gross i know. Please don't judge.
I guess we'll now add Draino to the ever-growing list of things that will kill you in Australia.
Not really amusing me because it's pretty macabre, but we have a slow flowing drain and I poured some draino down through the inspection plate to try and move things along a bit, and then a toad popped up near the hole. I tried to get him out, but he hopped back down the drain, so now I keep thinking he's going to disolve in the draino and become this toad skeleton at the end of the drain against the wall of the gravel pit.
Gross i know. Please don't judge.
Make it into a cake, or it didn't happen.
Make it into a cake, or it didn't happen.
Yes
Sent by thought transference
Funny thing about the Uncledigr that passed the other day. I mentioned he was a Marine. Outside of that he was still one tough sumbitch. He survived a couple really bad car wrecks, back when cars were made of steel and seat belts were for pussies. He tangled with a running circular saw, and only lost a thumb.
But apparently, he was pretty nice guy, too.
I'd never heard this, and Momdigr only heard it during the eulogy.
Years (and years) ago, this poor, dumb bastard breaks into Uncledigr's house. While he, his wife and first of two kids were home. Uncledigr came around the corner, found the noise he heard, and just beat the tar outta this guy. I mean, just within an inch of his life. Beat him unconscious. When Uncledigr came back to himself, he said that he was really scared he had beat the guy to death. So, he scoops guy up, puts him in the car, and takes him to the hospital, where a doc asks "What happened to him?". "I think I killed him."
He didn't kill the guy. The guy was just beat the shit out of, after all. But, the guy turned out to be an ok guy, too. He came back (much later) and apologized to Uncledigr. And, believe it or not, they became friends, kinda. I mean, they didn't have a "Broke Back Mountain" thing, they didn't go fishing together, they didn't exchange Christmas cards, but...
This guy spoke (delivered the eulogy) at Uncledigr's funeral.
That speaks volumes. To me, anyway. About both of them.
:devil:
This guy spoke (delivered the eulogy) at Uncledigr's funeral.
Wow!
The winner forgiving happens occasionally, but the loser forgiving is rare as hen's teeth. Uncledigr must have been quite a guy to have the loser forgive him.
Mr. Clod has been up all night with a work problem (major server on the east coast is down, costing the company roughly a thousand dollars each minute.) He is on the phone with whatever third-party software company who is responsible for the failure, and has reached the point where he is no longer mad or panicking, but brutally calm and mocking.
They have told him that the person who they think can help him will not be in until 8 AM, and he has in turn told them that they will remain on the phone with him until that person arrives. In the meantime, he will lead a group workshop on how to improve their escalation procedures. He just jovially but sincerely instructed one of them to take notes, and type it up for documentation later. It's freaking hysterical.
I work the other side of that phone line and no it isn't.
At a thousand dollars a minute they could fly some goons to the dude's house and drag his lazy ass out of bed.
At least that would happen in a lot of the movies I've been watching lately.
whats amusing me right now i am takeing 4 vacation days but get 16 days off !!
BOOOOYAAHHH To propper planning !!!
Why hells yeah!
Makes ya feel like yer livin' right, don't it!
Owner's manual this morning:
"Important notice: Make sure the group is even for the gyroscope in the receipt board need to modify with horizon, then can the UFO gets into controlling state."
No, no, don't tell me. You got a drone/UAV for Christmas, didn't you?
A Chinese one, it would seem. Check it for spy gadgets
Are you the dude who's been buzzing nuke plants?
Won't lie, drones creep me the fuck out.
Won't lie, drones creep me the fuck out.
Do remote control airplanes bother you, too? What about remote control helicopters?
Or maybe it's the camera you assume is attached?
:eyebrow:;)
whs
We're packing this planet with people and cameras, a moments privacy is becoming a dear thing.
I have a six panel front door with the top two panels being glass.
I recently taped paper over the windows as I'm sick of people frequently peeking inside through them. WTF?
whs
We're packing this planet with people and cameras, a moments privacy is becoming a dear thing.
Even fucking in the woods is off the menu with trail cameras these days.
I guess there's a
gizmo that detects cameras and apparently an app as well
[YOUTUBE]LhF3J44zBHw[/YOUTUBE]
Turnabout is fair play.
Besides, if you can't have a bonk in your own woods without it turning up on social media, it's time to get creative and shut the asshats down.
I have a six panel front door with the top two panels being glass.
I recently taped paper over the windows as I'm sick of people frequently peeking inside through them. WTF?
WTF, indeed? Apartment, I'm thinking?
Perhaps you should explain how close to death these people are when they do that.
Even fucking in the woods is off the menu with trail cameras these days.
Years back, a nature photographer friend was up in a tree waiting for whatever came down the trail. Hears voices, giggling etc, two people come down the trail with a blanket and proceed to go at it right under his tree. He said if she had opened her eyes, she would have seen him about 10 feet straight above them. :D
Or she did open her eyes, which triggered her orgasm. ;)
WTF, indeed? Apartment, I'm thinking?
Perhaps you should explain how close to death these people are when they do that.
Nope, I bought this place over 20 years ago. I live in a townhome community. I NEVER had an issue with this till about 6 months ago. Gotta admit, the paper is working pretty well. Once I have them all trained properly perhaps I can remove it. :eyebrow:
I suggest you put up a large pornographic picture where someone would have to make an effort to look directly in the window to see. If they bitch, it means they were making that effort, and should be bitch slapped.
A webcam trained at the windows, with a monitor right there, showing their face back, as they look in.
I just walk in my house nekkid now - that ought to scare them... or blind them.
I would contribute to the Save the Fannydongball campaign. :haha:
So, just snippets from some punk ass punk, maybe 17 years old, skinny deliverance type dude...who decided to sit with this chick in the chairs right next to where I'm set up at the library. He hasn't stopped talking for one second. Not one second. The girl intersperses with "huh. yeah. no. huh."
I want to say to the girl "are you really buying this bag of shit?"
I made sure my headphones were unplugged and my volume was just high enough on my laptop and I played the theme from Deliverance...made myself laugh, anyway, but this kid was oblivious.
Will he ever shut the fuck up? Will he fix his night vision glasses? Will he drink from the empty bottle of jagermeister that's in his house?
OH, they're leaving "you wanna come to my house?" "Uh, yeah." Still talking as they descend the staircase. So romantic.
Yeah, I been shot at and shot. I know what it's like. I'm not afraid to shoot someone. He's mad at me because I broke up with his stepdaughter. He wants to beat my ass. So I tell him if he shows up at my house he'll have a 22 in his face. I ain't afraid to shoot no one. I know what it's like
Do you know my sister?
I was beat with a belt. I was so high. The thing was, it was my belt. Yeah, I was so high, and I was laying like this.
Do you know my uncle?
Do you know Mike Hicks?
Hey, look at this thing on my neck. 'Cause my dad was in the military. Yeah.
I was pissed, man. I stood up, and psssshhh, I was like what. No you ain't. See, these hook together with this thing. So I put the dog tags on and he was cold. And walking home is gonna be real cold.
You ever been stabbed? I been stabbed right here.
Do you know John? Yeah, he drinks a lot. So he comes over and gets really drunk and smokes and he gets weird man, weird.
The cops came right into school and arrested me. Right in front of everybody. My girlfriend came up and slapped me, then she was hugging me saying she'd be waiting for me, which could mean she'd wait for me to get out of jail or meaning she'd be waiting for me to kick my ass or something.
Yeah. So, I forgot what I was gonna say about the bike. I was riding Neil around town on my bike, and I didn't have my night vision glasses but I used to have them and I went into a dark alley and like I had ten dollars for some spray paint and some dude said my bike was too bright...then he goes 'are those night vision goggles' and i was like 'yeah' and he wanted to try them so he put them on I shined a bright light in his face and now they don't work anymore...I can't see out of the middle of them. I got a pair from the military.
There was a possum, I knowed it was a possum 'cause they got that face!
Is it a full moon? Now there's some guy on the public computers who apparently called a police officer in because I can hear the officer talking to him about his facebook page and asking "she didn't get into your account, right?" And explaining to the fella that he doesn't have a facebook page and doesn't want a facebook page (I like this officer!) But wtf? Is this guy reporting that someone hacked into his account or something?
The fun never ends in this podunk town.
Maybe he's mad that he keeps getting Farmville spam.
Ha...from the local paper, police news:
CITIZEN ASSIST: In the realm of odd news, a complainant contacted Police to report another individual “violated Facebook Policy by removing him from a ‘group’ he created,” according to police reports. Police advised the complainant that “police do not enforce Facebook Policy" and was referred to Facebook.
Yesterday I foiled a scammer trying to rip me off! I had put some things up on Craigslist and my policy there is to always only accept cash and never ship items but meet face to face.
One of the items is a Canon EOS 1Ds MkII camera body. I don't use it much and am saving for other gear. It has a very low shot count which is a plus for an older camera. I routinely see these go for $800-1000 on Ebay but those ones have higher shot counts and aren't in as good a shape. And with Ebay you loose 10% if it sells. So I thought I would try it on the Houston Craigslist just to see if it got any interest and asked $1200.
Within 8 hours I get a text saying that the person is very interested. I respond that it is still available. About an hour later he responds that he can't come pick it up but would gladly pay me an additional $80 for shipping it. He plans to give it to his pastor's son as a gift!
Now I'm suspicious. Nice gift for the pastor's son indeed! I reply that his offer is appealing but I only take cash, how will he pay me? Meanwhile I Google his phone number and the first result has 2 people claiming this guy tried to scam them on Craigslist!
He responds that he will pay with Western Union which isn't secure at all. I declined and he reponded "it's just like cash!"
I wished him a nice day and never heard from him again
Aww, now the poor pastor's son won't get a Canon, you meany. :lol2:
That was very patient and polite of you
Amazon is amusing me today. Only amusing because I ordered earlier enough that I am still going to have the CDs by her birthday.
My 2 CDs were sent to someplace in Kentucky by mistake, so it looks like they fulfilled the order again and put them in a huge box this time so it wouldn't get lost.
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Good you're not paying mileage. :haha:
I've noticed a lot of stuff this fall/winter came in boxes twice, or more, as big as necessary.
standard packaging, a'la shipping containers. It's just easier to manage a uniform box size, or at least a minimum number of sizes.
I hadn't thought about it until now, but we had one Christmas present come twice as well. I'm just hanging onto it until the next birthday party Minifob gets invited to.
Part of my job is making sure local products are labelled appropriately. i.e. with a great big price tag that says "Local". I find fun in saying "These are local tags for local people" even though no-one has a fucking clue what I am on about :) One day there will be another Brit working there who might get it, meanwhile, it does no harm :D
I made a local joke for local people last week. Nobody got it.
I'm sorry.
Also..... Computer Says No. I use that a lot. ah well.
Part of my job is making sure local products are labelled appropriately. i.e. with a great big price tag that says "Local". I find fun in saying "These are local tags for local people" even though no-one has a fucking clue what I am on about :) One day there will be another Brit working there who might get it, meanwhile, it does no harm :D
A few days ago Sundae convinced me to buy the 'League of Gentleman' DVD box set.
It arrived yesterday and all I need to do now is find an opportunity to watch it.
Yes, I'm posting this at 0345 but I'm really too tired to watch it at the moment.
A few days ago Sundae convinced me to buy the 'League of Gentleman' DVD box set.
It arrived yesterday and all I need to do now is find an opportunity to watch it.
Yes, I'm posting this at 0345 but I'm really too tired to watch it at the moment.
Were you up early or late? that's when I left for work this morning
Were you up early or late? that's when I left for work this morning
Neither. It was approximately the half way point of the three hours I am usually awake in the middle of the night.
I haven't had a decent night's sleep since about 1895. :thepain:
ugh. still, at least you have The Cellar to visit :D
Somehow, this mural on a hospital in Quebec seems to be an inside joke...
This picture is part of the fresco telling the history of medicine at the Hôtel-Dieu de Québec, the oldest hospital in North America, since its founding in 1639.
Ahh, the magical, healing properties of playing an ear-recorder into the chest of your patient...
Or, maybe, closely listening to the chest-recorder played by your patient
Yes, but am I the only person to have noticed the concertina player at the right hand side?
ventilator, on standby.
ftfy
So, I really like the folks I work with at the depot. Young and old (old as in my age...lol) all but one of them are good folks. I could start a list of amusing things that remind me of my young days at the farm market. bits and pieces are better...so:
Younger guy and a younger girl talking to me, and young lady is bemoaning her marriage, and younger guy is obviously smitten with her...without being an ass about it. So I sez to them, I sez : J is a nice guy. If I were 900 years younger...
And J sez: hey, just like The Outfield said, I like my girls a little bit older.
I was impressed he knew the song and band.
Mr. Clod has a coworker named Yingying...
...and a coworker named Yangyang. In the same damn office!
Every time I saw them together I would not be able to resist...
"What up YingYang?"
And then, I'd get kungfu'd in the ass.
[Size=1]Was that racist?[/Size]
[Size=1]Was that racist?[/Size]
Well you managed not to say
Ting Tong (BBC link)
Last night at a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party, the teen employee assigned to us was named Thor. I kept thinking of monster's offspring, and wanted to ask for a photo with him and his nametag so I could post it here, but I decided not to be the weird old lady.
Last night at a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party, the teen employee assigned to us was named Thor.
It was Wōden's night off.
Did you tell him you knew a Thor ...well sort of online knew (although you did actually meet him, so that counts.....) ;)
Nah, I didn't even talk to him. He looked very hip, even for a kid working in a Chuck E. Cheese. Had one of those wide & lengthy Macklemore mohawks. Made me feel old.
Well, at least you didn't have to hit google images to find out what a Macklemore mohawk was...
WHS .. (after I googled) ... I. AM. OLD.
I also googled, I to am old.
Yes, you two are old.
[COLOR="SlateGray"](see what I did there)[/COLOR]
Gee sexobon, when I grow up I'm gonna be just like you. All smart and shit like that.
You can't grow up AND be just like me...I never grew up! :p:
never grew up
or
dirty old man?
Young at heart.
[COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="1"]Don't you know that it's worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart.
For as rich as you are, it's much better by far
To be young at heart.
And if you should survive to 105,
Look at all you'll derive out of being alive!
And here is the best part, you have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart.[/SIZE][/COLOR]
My sister and I stopped at an antique store in Memorial, an affluent neighborhood. All people working there were older white people (I assume they are the owners.) While my sister paid for her things, the older white woman asked where are we from. I've been asked this recent enough that I knew what she meant. My sister later said she almost answered Spring Branch (an area north of the freeway). It took her a moment but she replied, "We're Vietnamese." The lady said, "You're from Vietnam? Oh, I wouldn't know what to do with my hands and toes without those Vietnamese girls. They do such good jobs." My sister was confused. Use them, what do else to do with your fingers and toes?? my sister thought. The lady turned and asked me, "What do you do? Do you work from the home?" I replied I do bookkeeping, to which she said, "Oh! So, how long have you been here?" I've been in the states for 40 yrs. "You look too young to haven been here for 40 years." I thank her for the compliment then we left. To many, that was horribly insulting and racist to assume all Vietnamese females do nails. For me I just found it amusing. Those people were polite and friendly. As racist as the woman's assumptions were, I took her remarks were from ignorance of other cultures rather than from ill-intentions.
You're probably right, ignorance, although maybe willful ignorance. If you were a man she might of asked how the shrimping was. :haha:
If you were further north, maybe I could see it--but Houston has like the biggest Vietnamese population outside of California. Assuming you were immigrants shows an extreme lack of awareness of her surroundings...
I feel like every little communication, no matter how awkward or slightly off-putting, is breaking down a tiny barrier.
You gave her something to tell her friends anyway.
About this tiny, gorgeous little foreign girl who actually does book-keeping, who'd have thought it?
Mildly amusing me yesterday was overhearing a group of schoolboys (14?).
It was silly schoolboy humour, so I'm obviously still young at heart.
Boy 1) Why have I got such itchy pits? They're really itchy!
Boy 2) Maybe it's cancer.
Boy 3) Maybe you're just Itchy-Pit-Boy.
Hahahahah that last line I can hear so clearly.
I feel like every little communication, no matter how awkward or slightly off-putting, is breaking down a tiny barrier.
That's some wishful thinking right there. I feel you misunderestimate the power of confirmation bias.
FTR, I share your wishfulness.
I've been at my 2nd job what, a month and a half now? I was named Associate of the Month for our department. :D Too funny. I like that job. It's hard work and it's fun, well I and a couple others make it fun. So...
Hey, congratulations!
The cream rises to the top.
I'm really glad you've found something that suits you, infi. I felt like you kept going from chore to chore for years, and finally you have something that makes you smile, which is all that's really important. Good for you!
Thank you glatt and Clod.
I am much happier these days, Clod. I mean, not all the time, but I'm so much better than when I was in stress-world. I'm completely off any medication (after years of various concoctions), I'm physically feeling so much better and looking better as a result, and I laugh a lot more.
I learned money isn't everything and I don't want to fall into the 'follow the money' trap again but my real stressors now do come from keeping up on the bills and trying so hard to cut back on, well, everything. But cable TV and internet and Netflix aren't everything either.
I just know that if I keep feeling better and doing better, things will keep falling into place.
And I do usually have fun while working hard, at both jobs. It's like I'm seeing the person I used to be again. People are drawn to me again, if that makes sense.
So really, thanks, your comments mean a lot.
Infi, this post of yours is making me happy [emoji2]
Sent by thought transference
Just seeing this ... great to see you are being recognized and such. Happy for you.
Found a package from Amazon in the mailbox, I'd forgotten they'd said it would be delivered yesterday. Small box maybe 6x10x3 inches or so, with some headlight bulbs. I noticed about a dozen tiny black ants on the box which I promptly murdered with malice and forethought.
Opening the box I found hundreds of the little bastards and several dozen eggs attached to the box and the bulb packaging. They appeared to be upset about me killing their kin, but hadn't enough time to make up protest signs yet.
Tossed the box in the tub and gave them a shower to cool them off. Must have done the trick because they were all taking a nap when I was done.
I wonder if there's a component of rugged electrical components* that attract ants, or if they just thought it was a convenient unoccupied hole.
* referencing this, plus the discussion of ants in the AC unit elsewhere.
Yeah, I remember that. I'm curious whether they moved in and made all those eggs during the maybe 18 hours in the mailbox, or took up housekeeping somewhere along the way?
Inf - fucking A, grrl. Delighted for you.
@bruce - 'malice aforethought' :p Though that line still made me chuckle.
@bruce - 'malice aforethought' :p
See, you are the establishment now. :p:
Soy based plastics? Mice apparently like them.
Telephone company guys here used to carry ant killing spray. Idk if they still do. Those little olive green switch boxes you see beside the road are often jam packed with ants. Around here, anyway.
I don't know about ants, but I watched an extermination reality show once (a schadenfreude thing like Hoarders) where the guy said cockroaches are massively attracted to electronics. He showed a woman's cordless phone that was covered in cockroach poo.
Pete and I have the day off from work but both girls have to go in.
I don't know about ants, but I watched an extermination reality show once (a schadenfreude thing like Hoarders) where the guy said cockroaches are massively attracted to electronics. He showed a woman's cordless phone that was covered in cockroach poo.
I have a buddy who works for Orkin. I'll have to ask him about it.
I just discovered early early Dwellar Rogue Winter had the same gig I have now 3 1/2 years ago.
She only worked here for two months, and I haven't talked to her in 20 years and didn't know her all that much. So it's the sort of information you put into your hat and don't happen to mention. Except you do mention it on the Cellar
Momdigr's frustration with remote controls; satellite box, Blu-Ray player, tv, The One Remote To Rule Them All...
To wit:
Momdigr (fairly well frustrated by the time she asked for help): Which one of these stupid buttons turns on the stupid tv?!
Me: That's a telephone.
:lol2:
Now I know I old. I truly feel for Momdigr
My cat-napping neighbor walked around his yard for two hours this afternoon, with a large power drill w/a foot-long two-inch auger, drilling holes in his yard, and pouring what looked like milk out of a gallon milk jug into the holes.
I know not wtf he was doing, but, it was kinda fun watching the drill get wrenched out of his hands every so often.
It looked a little on the painful side.:cheerldr:
It is, my Ex bought like 250 tulip, and some other bulbs, with instructions on planting a certain depth, and orientation. I made a drill bit like an auger, miniature post hole digger, because I'm lazy. After a half dozen holes with a half inch pistol drill, my wrists hurt so bad I went a got the big slow two handled drill. Even that yanked pretty good, but no dear, this is a mans job. :smack: Got me again.
the big slow two handled drill
That's what he had.
I'm chuckling to myself rfn, thinking about it.
Two adverts (I spent a lot of time in hospital watching television)
I think one was Apple.
Something along the lines of "In order to succeed you need to break the rules."
I thought, "Who is your copywriter? Lance Armstrong?"
And the other was for The Perfume Shop
"Where will we take you today?"
Nowhere. You're a shop.
Something along the lines of "In order to succeed you need to break the rules."
I thought, "Who is your copywriter? Lance Armstrong?"
I like that
the big slow two handled drill
Orrlly?
I like that
I liked the perfume shop one. I totally yelled yes! in agreement.
Orrlly?
Would I lie to you, my oldest and dearest friend... [SIZE="1"]if it didn't concern money or sex[/SIZE]?
I amuse myself (aMuse, not aBuse, that's a different thread)
The other day, I texted to Twil that somebody (what? who? me???) might bring her flowers at work.
--sometime later--
[ATTACH]54435[/ATTACH]
[ATTACH]54436[/ATTACH]
Apparently you can't say Snowman any more. You have to say Snowperson.
Said completely seriously in my hearing.
I must have missed that memo.
It's apparently illegal to say Merry Christmas here according to the right wing nutters on my bacefook. They must have gotten the same memo.
re: snowman/snowperson - Seriously?
Sometimes we really do focus on entirely the wrong thing.
It's apparently illegal to say Merry Christmas here according to the right wing nutters on my bacefook. They must have gotten the same memo.
That'll be the same round robin memo that bans Christmas decorations from Bradford town centre every year
re: snowman/snowperson - Seriously?
Sometimes we really do focus on entirely the wrong thing.
Yes, it's a distraction from the real issues, and turns people off to the subject entirely.
Bruce, you are a genius.
Sent by thought transference
I know, but that was easy to see, it's like politics. Find a couple of rabid but not very bright women to whine about gender reference of a pile of god damned snow. Then repeat that as loud and often as possible until people automatically make the connection between feminism and this silly shit. So when anything related to feminism comes up, the people who were on the fence or just unaware of the important issues, automatically shut down and don't want to hear it. Bam, there goes the swing voters.
To make it worse, intelligent feminists won't counter or censor the dunces, can't criticize a sister. It's the same as Muslims keeping quiet about terrorists, you'll be perceived as birds of a feather. Suddenly the whole feminist movement gets perceived as a bunch of twits, which is a huge defeat.
Passed on by my brother.
Made me smile.
[YOUTUBE]Pqb4u64hOw0[/YOUTUBE]
"Chocolate tube" sounds kind of kinky and dirty.
It didn't until you said that, glatt!
There was a man on the market today selling panda bowls.
"Strawberries, grapes, panda bowl!" he shouted.
Chocolate tube map is called a colostomy so your health insurance will pay for it.
"Strawberries, grapes, panda bowl!" he shouted.
Is that like the Chinese restaurant that tried to feed us wester balls?
Us: "What's in that dish?"
Chinese waiter: "Pork, wester balls, broth..."
Us: "Ew! What are wester balls?"
Chinese waiter: "You know, onion, carrot..."
There's a woman in London with my same name, who is too stupid to remember what her actual email address is, and gives out mine all the time as her own. Subsequently, I get all sorts of email for her on a regular basis. I know about her divorce a couple of years ago, I know about her business trips to Ireland, I know the names of her three children and also that of her new husband (the same as my middle name!) Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.
Well, it's been a rough week for the London version of me. First, she blew 130 pounds (!) on a grey Michael Kors designer wallet--with a gift message for her friend Aoife, meaning she blew 130 pounds on a wallet for someone else, dear God--and as the confirmation emails made very clear, she will have been absolutely unable to pick up her item from the store unless she presents a copy of my email proving she is the purchaser.
Then, as if Thursday hadn't been difficult enough, I just received an 8-paragraph letter from her full-time nanny, detailing all the (justifiable) reasons why she was quitting, including but not limited to the fact that her children are "cold" and "very disrespectful."
The UK me is kind of a bitch, I gather.
She isn't as hilarious as you are! :)
Damn cold. Drippy nose and fever. Even a hot bath and cold medicine aren't working. Grumble.
Remember, if your nose runs and your feet smell ... you're upside down.
Good stuff Clod good stuff.
Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.
You are a better person than I am. There's a teacher in Kentucky, and I often get invitations from his student to review papers they have written in Google docs. I stopped letting them know they have the wrong person years ago.
Admittedly, it isn't my "real" account, or even my backup account, it's the third-tier one that truly only gets used for spam and YouTube crap (because once Google bought YouTube they made it very difficult to do YouTube without a Gmail address.) If I had to deal with it in my face every day I might get less tolerant.
This morning on the radio, I heard the dj refer to a news story that referenced "[John Doe], an African-American from Canada,"...:rolleyes:
Maybe he meant North American? Didn't orthodoc live in Canada at some point--what PC term do they use for black people in Canada, ortho?
This morning on the radio, I heard the dj refer to a news story that referenced "[John Doe], an African-American from Canada,"...:rolleyes:
Har, I know/knew a Black Brit here who has had arguments with people who insist she's African American when she told them she's not, she's Black. Or British.
Maybe he meant North American? Didn't orthodoc live in Canada at some point--what PC term do they use for black people in Canada, ortho?
ya know, a lot of our radio stations are Canadian, and I think they maybe just don't feel the need to mention race quite so much. Or maybe fewer blacanucks get shot by police and make the news :bolt:
Or when they do it's not newsworthy because Canadians assume they deserved it.
So what do they call a black person in Africa? An African-african? Because just 'african' would seem to imply there are no white people in Africa. Come to think of it, the term 'african-american' seems kind of...i don't know...racist.
There is no particular PC term in Canada; usually people are referred to as being from their country of origin or heritage. In other words, Jamaican or Trinidadian or whatever. The sad thing is, no one is ever referred to as being just Canadian. That's the one thing that's not allowed.
Some people call black people Canadians as a ratial slur
This series of events just happened to me:
Traffic is way lighter than usual. Weird, I think.
Walk into a restaurant. It's completely empty. The staff is all at the bar watching a football game on TV. Even the girls. That's annoying, I think. But then I get their attention, get my to go order, and leave.
I go out to my car to eat, and browse instagram. Man, a lot of people are posting about football. That's weird, I think.
Man, Stephen Colbert is really pushing his post-super-bowl show, that's weird since it's not for awhile yet.
OH WAIT.
You super missed it. :haha:
I was on the road to Houston and back, would have missed it anyway.
So what do they call a black person in Africa?
By name? A person?
ALSO not me
An older couple came into the library. Yorkshire from their accent, but obviously not local as they had to ask where the toilets were.
Having suitably relieved themselves, they began the old-person duologue which is basically "say what you see". Not meaning to sound unnecessarily harsh, but I do spend a lot of time on public transport.
What made me smile was when the lady saw the seating.
"Oooh, look! Little settees!"
(note to non-Brits, a settee is a very very common name for a sofa. I know, I used the word until I was about 13)
I mean bless her for her excitement and not being able to identify an armchair and all. I grinned until her noisy yap started to annoy me.
There is no particular PC term in Canada; usually people are referred to as being from their country of origin or heritage. In other words, Jamaican or Trinidadian or whatever. The sad thing is, no one is ever referred to as being just Canadian. That's the one thing that's not allowed.
I blame the French Canadians, they started it.
There's a woman in London with my same name, who is too stupid to remember what her actual email address is, and gives out mine all the time as her own. Subsequently, I get all sorts of email for her on a regular basis. I know about her divorce a couple of years ago, I know about her business trips to Ireland, I know the names of her three children and also that of her new husband (the same as my middle name!) Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.
Well, it's been a rough week for the London version of me. First, she blew 130 pounds (!) on a grey Michael Kors designer wallet--with a gift message for her friend Aoife, meaning she blew 130 pounds on a wallet for someone else, dear God--and as the confirmation emails made very clear, she will have been absolutely unable to pick up her item from the store unless she presents a copy of my email proving she is the purchaser.
Then, as if Thursday hadn't been difficult enough, I just received an 8-paragraph letter from her full-time nanny, detailing all the (justifiable) reasons why she was quitting, including but not limited to the fact that her children are "cold" and "very disrespectful."
The UK me is kind of a bitch, I gather.
Seriously. TOTALLY your next book and at least a year of stand up material!
There's a woman in London with my same name, who is too stupid to remember what her actual email address is, and gives out mine all the time as her own. Subsequently, I get all sorts of email for her on a regular basis. I know about her divorce a couple of years ago, I know about her business trips to Ireland, I know the names of her three children and also that of her new husband (the same as my middle name!) Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.
Well, it's been a rough week for the London version of me. First, she blew 130 pounds (!) on a grey Michael Kors designer wallet--with a gift message for her friend Aoife, meaning she blew 130 pounds on a wallet for someone else, dear God--and as the confirmation emails made very clear, she will have been absolutely unable to pick up her item from the store unless she presents a copy of my email proving she is the purchaser.
Then, as if Thursday hadn't been difficult enough, I just received an 8-paragraph letter from her full-time nanny, detailing all the (justifiable) reasons why she was quitting, including but not limited to the fact that her children are "cold" and "very disrespectful."
The UK me is kind of a bitch, I gather.
I realize you posted this more than a month ago, but I have been musing. Have you ever considered responding to the emails that are intended for her? LOL I can imagine some of the calamity....
I always respond--unless you mean responding AS her? That would be cruel, but I might do it if the same person emailed more than once.
God, can you imagine if I wrote back her divorce lawyer like, "never mind, I'm still in love with him, drop the proceedings?" Or, "it's cool, tell his lawyer I don't want any child support..."
Yesterday, Momdigr decided to cook pinto beans.
In the middle of her routine, we get both a phone call, and a personal visit informing us we will have no water for the next few hours, as the water dept is installing a new water main nearby. As Murphy dictates, the beans started to go dry, and needed a little water. No problem, there's probably some residual pressure in our pipes. Nope. Nothing. From any tap.
Then I saw the lightbulb turn on over Momdigr's head. She digs around for a minute, and, Viola!, produces a bottle of water, pours it in the beans, crisis averted.
A few minutes later there's a smell wafting through the house, that's not just beans. It's not an offensive smell, just different. Momdigr let's out an "Uh-oh."
She goes to the trash can and retrieves the bottle, which she shows to me and Popdigr.
Grape-flavored water.
You could taste that something wasn't quite right with the beans, but, if I hadn't known what it was, I wouldn't have been able to say what the taste was. The beans were totally edible, just different.
We had a good laugh and ate grape-flavored pinto beans for supper.
Last time I was driving back from Houston during the Super Bowl. Now I'm driving back during the Oscars. I'm starting to think major network events are doing this on purpose.
I have been driving back from polo tourneys on both days. I am glad :)
I'm a little irritated because the place I grabbed dinner was completely empty on Super Bowl night, but extra busy tonight. Apparently nobody gives a crap about the little gold statues...
Oh come on, the two aren't remotely comparable. :facepalm:
You and I would think that but my bacefook feed is full of it... I have one dude on my feed who watches all this stuff, apparently so he can complain?
Comparing the academy awards to the super bowl, for audience draw and ability to govern peoples movements on the day, is crazy talk.
Numbers are fun. I just looked them up, and Super bowls typically get 110 million US viewers or so. The Oscars get more like 35-40 million US viewers.
Most people don't go to Oscar parties.
I didn't watch either, but I have seen Leo's speech multiple times on my newsfeed.
Went to the bank today where a cheerful, twenty-something teller making small talk asked if I have any special plans for the weekend with some St. Patrick's Day celebrations going on. I said "No, I was going to go to Gallifrey; but, my TARDIS is in the shop for repairs." She very sincerely replied "Oh, I hope it gets fixed soon." *clueless*
Maybe she has a college degree.
I'm currently using a carrot stick as a spoon to eat raspberry jelly out of a bowl for dinner.
Okay, what actually happened is I'm at a fancy hotel for a big autism conference, and they've locked out all the grocery delivery services from the area because they're greedy fancy-hotel dickfaces, and they don't have much on the room service menu that I can eat. I ordered the hummus platter and the charcuterie board, except the hummus is gross, and the crostini is out as a dipping tool (and even if it weren't, they only gave me four, how is someone supposed to put that much pate and jelly on four damn crackers?) So I am using the carrots from the hummus platter to eat the jelly from the charcuterie board. Perhaps I will use the celery for the pate. But they gave me a monster amount of cheese, so I'm not complaining overall.
Don't leave home without it.
But they gave me a monster amount of cheese, so I'm not complaining overall.
Saves on toilet paper.
Was she at the conference, too?
:D
yeah but I didn't get a room, so I emptied a couple of boxes of books I found in a warehouse and made a little temporary dwelling out of them....
jfc..
just sat down at a *computer* for the first time in forever to see what's happening down here in teh cellar... 186 unread threads. wow.
My eight-year-old daughter's toes are as long as mine.
and less webbed, you freak.
I know, right? My brother's second and third toe go all the way to the top. I discovered this as a child when I accidentally slammed his foot in the door, and went to inspect the injury and thought I had fused them together with the impact.
it's pretty common.
you're still a freak though
because you abhor facial hair.
puppies always seem to grow *into* their big ol' puppy paws
Automated financial news.
Background: Plum Creek was bought by Weyerhauser, and its stock no longer exists, leading to this useful stock tip:
Investors will be watching to see if the company hits or misses on earnings expectations after the next release. Plum Creek Timber Company, Inc. (NYSE:PCL) is slated to next post quarterly results on or around N/A. The company most recently announced earnings of $N/A against the Zacks Research consensus estimate of $N/A for the quarter that ended on N/A. This actual number marked a surprise factor of N/A%, a difference of $N/A.
N/A% is a surprising factor.
But what's the final verdict?
Looking at recommendations, N/A analysts have rated the stock a Strong Buy, N/A have given it a Buy rating, N/A a Hold and N/A a Sell.
There's good news tonight... for all you blind people reading this, word comes from pornhub they are writing and recording descriptive sound tracks for their more popular video porn.
I'm picturing Mystery Science Theater here. :eek:
Huffington says...
Fortunately, Pornhub.com has just created a new category of porn called “described video” that adds special narration to already-existing porn films.
The female narrators fill in the details for visually impaired viewers, describing the setting, the actors, what positions they are in and even their outfits.
For instance, one video begins: “A white woman in a cheap-looking red power suit sits next to a tall, white, lanky, middle-aged man with brown hair, a white shirt, a gray suit and a red-striped tie.”
Trust us, it gets slightly more exciting after that.
So far, Pornhub.com offers 50 enhanced-audio videos made from the site’s top-viewed straight, female-friendly, gay and bi videos.
“It’s our way of giving back, and we’re excited to hear what people think,” Price told The Huffington Post by email. “With over 60 million people visiting our site each day, we did feel it important to start to include this type of more-accessible content on our platform though, given the relative ambiguity of the concept and the sheer number of people who are visually impaired around the world.”
Adding descriptions to existing videos was a challenge, Price said. “We put a considerable amount of effort into having the scripts for the added audio tracks be descriptive and enticing, to add enough while leaving enough space for the video’s original audio and having everything match up just right,” he explained.
Where's Howard Cosell when you need him. I wonder what happened to Gary Owens? Damn, he's dead too. Bob Uecker is right out. :facepalm:
The guy who says "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just saw the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile followed by a Planters Peanutmobile on my commute home.
This guy is annoyed they arrested him. He said the cops usually just give him a ticket he can mail in with a little money, and shoo him away. :haha:
Look what my cat had done today...try and tell me that last line will ever stop being funny.
OK for you but what did they do for the cat?
:eek:
What was funny/worse, the vet felt a need to explain the process.
:vomit:
No no, what's funny is "complimentary" doesn't mean "gratis", it means the vet's assistants stand around and give compliments during the process.
"Your anus is so pleasant! You're doing a great job keeping it tidy"
Really didn't need to click on this thread today.
Well it's not a liquor store, but...
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.noonan.562/posts/1380344651981709
(Sorry, apparently this thing is on Facebook and nowhere else. I looked really hard for a legit link, I promise.)
Well it's not a liquor store, but...
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.noonan.562/posts/1380344651981709
(Sorry, apparently this thing is on Facebook and nowhere else. I looked really hard for a legit link, I promise.)
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and a pichur ov a bandige
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
Very Funny.
I heard my name in a movie once, I don't remember which movie.
:eek:
That was pretteh cool. And vereh funneh!
Tango thought she could hang out on a ledge above a window in my office. So she tried to jump up there.
This is how wide it is. As you can imagine, it was amusing to watch her discover this...she is NOT a graceful cat.
So this is a thing (NSFW): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanamara_Matsuri
The festival started in 1977.[10] It used to be small, but it has become bigger and harder.[10] Today, the festival has become something of a tourist attraction and is used to raise money for HIV research.[11
Really? I call shenanigans.
Well, the festival is totally legit, even if the Wiki page isn't up to standards.
so..... RIP Ken thread I keep seeing has me imagining Funeral Barbie......
question is..... how did he die? :eek:
so..... RIP Ken thread I keep seeing has me imagining Funeral Barbie......
question is..... how did he die? :eek:
Murder/suicide. There was some sordid love triangle with Skipper. Tragic, really.
Did he fall or was he pushed?
Murder/suicide. There was some sordid love triangle with Skipper. Tragic, really.
I don't think it was Skipper. I think it was Lorena. I saw the body.
*shudder*
so..... RIP Ken thread I keep seeing has me imagining Funeral Barbie......
--snip
Here is what his final ride was in:
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nice find monster.
I find the story a little depressing, the reactions of the ignorant haters, that is.
attempting to facebook message with daughter living on her own (second-ish night) while texting with massage therapist wanting to move appointment.... ending up sending step by step instructions as to how to defrost chicken in microwave to massage therapist :D
I was expecting a text massage.
:drummer:
would you like one as a surprise?
One of the manifestations of Stepdaughter's crippling anxiety is her refusal to commit to anything, anything, on the first go-round. Some examples from our real, actual life:
Me: What time do you want to have lunch?
Her: What do you mean by "lunch?"
Me: I like your shirt.
Her: What do you mean by "shirt?"
This is not a dismissive or sassy thing; she just always has to make sure she completely understands any comment or question because she is profoundly terrified of making a mistake or agreeing to something that wasn't ideal. (She is also afraid of looking like an idiot, but somehow we can't convince her that this quibbling behavior does exactly that.) ANYWAY...
She was hanging out with friends from work (she has friends! from work!) and the conversation loosely turned to race relations in America. One of the guys noted to her that he never gets to think of himself as a computer nerd first, or a teenager first, he must always remember above all that he is a black man as his primary identifier. Her response, of course...
"What do you mean by 'black?'"
And the collectively whispered whoooooooaaaaa could be heard for miles. And now her friends all think she's some kind of goddamn philosopher-poet.
Cool, you have a poet philosopher in da house.
Her deflections sounds like stalling to me. But, what do I know? OF COURSE, she knows what "shirt" is, lunch might be less unambiguous, but as long as it's amusing, qualify on, m'dear.
Sometimes I feel like I should have and still should answer everything my ex says with a request for a definition. Her default is to claim "that's not what [she] meant" and my attempts to clarify or point out that there is really only one way to interpret the word or phrase she used is met with "You are twisting my words around."
And I suppose, in the sense that I am pointing out that a lie is not the truth, then yes, I am twisting her words around.
Does stepdaughter deal with being gaslighted a lot at her other house? People pissing on her shoes and telling her it's raining? Might make her hyper clarification vigilant.
Oh, absolutely. Her mom is a lot like your ex, based on other descriptions of behavior you've given us. Her anxiety is 90% PTSD.
We straight up ignore meaningless questions, because clarifications only lead to more clarifications. When she's driving to work, it's a steady stream of "Should I get in the left lane? Should I turn left here? I get on the highway, right?" I don't respond, and she gets to work just fine.
I feel for her. Hopefully she'll eventually have enough time away from the poison well and enough time with relatively normal people to see that things can be different for her.
The idea that, in order to be happy, all I have to do is wish it, and, VIOLA!
I'm still not happy, but, I am amused. So, closer, I guess...:haha:
So maybe I do have a little bit of a vindictive streak.... (no, really?) but I'm really enjoying the thought watching of DT'S "empire" spiral down the toilet after the election. Especially fitting if he ends up in jail but I'm too cynical to expect that
I have called every presidential election correctly since 1964, and I predict that Trump will win. I pray every night that I am wrong this time.
Trump will lose in historic fashion. There will be no doubt whatsoever that the vast majority in this country has NO INTEREST in him being the leader. ZERO chance.
It's the difference between the popular vote and the electoral votes. They may be within a handful of points of each other in the popular vote, but Hillary is going to easily sweep the states with the most electoral votes. Not even close. The only way that won't happen is if her supporters think she has it locked up, so they stay home. But Trump is remaining so terrifying, they will come out in droves.
The NYT this week had a big spreadsheet of all the polls for all the states by several different poling companies, and every single one of them showed Hillary has around a 85% - 95% chance of winning this. The real question now is the Senate. The Democrats have a 50/50 shot of winning the Senate as well.
sorry didn't mean to derail this, I was just amused by my own merciless glee at the possibilities
Amusing me:
"Snitches get stitches" coming from my son's substitute English teacher as he allowed them to take their reading quiz with an open book.
They told their regular teacher when she came back the next day and she was horrified. Threw the quiz results away though when she should have given them all 100s for being so brave and honest.
That's hilarious! And sure, sure, good on the kids for being honest. But being a good liar is a practically mandatory skill for leadership, you know.
"Snitches get stitches"... They told their regular teacher when she came back...
Well, these kids ain't learning a damn thing...
They learned to keep their damn mouth shut.
The secondary side of my kids' school has a "from the neck up" Halloween tradition. Students must wear their regular uniforms, but they can wear masks, makeup, wigs, Spock ears, etc...
Except I just received a notification that "due to current events outside the school, clown costumes or makeup will NOT be permitted." So apparently that's still a thing.
In my professional situation I did some business with a northern company called "Beaver Brokerage Inc." I had to stifle the thought that pimping must be legal in Canada.
(they are actually customs brokers)
Or there are lots of wrecked va-jay-jays in Canada that need to be dealt with?
The secondary side of my kids' school has a "from the neck up" Halloween tradition. Students must wear their regular uniforms, but they can wear masks, makeup, wigs, Spock ears, etc...
Except I just received a notification that "due to current events outside the school, clown costumes or makeup will NOT be permitted." So apparently that's still a thing.
What about going dressed as Nemo?
There's something... fishy about your suggestion.
My stepdaughter, who had a hell of a time getting a job because of her general anxiety and complete lack of people skills, has been promoted to assistant manager just 3 months after starting at the job she finally did manage to secure.
Part of me is thrilled at the progress she's made, which isn't nothing--but part of me is like, "...seriously? Are they that hard up for talent?" And then yesterday she casually mentioned that she's had at least 4, maybe 5 different managers since she started. She's not sure the one counts, because he quit on his second day and she never actually met him. The place is apparently a shithole and no one can stand it for more than a few weeks. Even beyond managers, she says at this point there are only 3 employees who have been there longer than she has.
For her part, she doesn't hate it. It's a little stressful, but no less stressful than every day life is for her. Yeah, customers yell at the staff for tiny mistakes--but regular people yell at her every day for her gigantic mistakes, so she doesn't really notice the difference. Yeah, the regional manager has profoundly unrealistic expectations of the amount of work a single employee can do, but everyone her whole life has had unrealistic (for her) expectations of what she can successfully accomplish, so she's very used to not meeting expectations and just letting the daily failures roll off her back.
So I told her, hey, that's good news. Just keep showing up, use the place to practice whatever skills you need to, and they'll never, ever fire you.
Just keep showing up, use the place to practice whatever skills you need to, and they'll never, ever fire you.
I love it. Good for her.
Well, she's learning. Congrats! Was there a pay raise also? (asked in my dad voice)
From $8.20 an hour to $9.50, supposedly, though with the way that place is run I told her she'd better keep an eye on her next paycheck to be sure it actually happened.
Such good news!
I've had "managers" like that. She has as good a coping strategy as I can think of. Brava!
What kind of job? Did you say and I missed it?
I just reminded myself of a scene from NYPD Blue...
Sipowicz has just arrived on scene, where a man has killed his wife. The man is being treated for a large v-shaped (no, it didn't look like Big V) wound in his head. When asked why he killed his wife, he explains that he didn't mean to, but, she had hit him in the head "wif a smoovah".
The cops look around at each other for a moment. Sipowicz asks "Whaddya mean she hit you 'wif a smoovah'? Whatta hell is a 'smoovah'
The man replied "You know, a smoovah, like ya smoove out da wrinkles on a shirt."
His wife had hit him in the head with an iron.
This morning Dad made it known that he required a packet of Chinese Lantern seeds.
I work on the principle that 'to hear is to obey' as it makes life easier, so I headed for the garden centre.
Apart from the usual horticultural stuff, there's a coffee shop, pet supplies store and a small bookshop and that's where I spotted this...
[ATTACH]59362[/ATTACH]
It amused me that the slot for the Pensioners manual is empty.
I wonder if there had been a run on that book or perhaps they just don't stock them at all due to limited demand. :)
I thought that book was just smaller. So the publisher/display provider puts a picture in that slot to let the customer know the book exists, and the retailer is failing them. Genius. :haha:
I wonder if that's the same Haynes that makes the auto repair manuals? If so, their "Explains Teenagers" ought to be hilariously underexplained.
I remember their instructions for removing an engine from a car, not a specific car, or even a brand:
1. Raise the hood.
2. Remove the hood from the car.
3. Disconnect all wires/connectors from the engine.
4. Remove the engine.
Installation is the reverse of removal.
I wonder if that's the same Haynes that makes the auto repair manuals?
It is indeed!
I think that the car repair manuals have now gone to the other extreme.
I had one for my car that went to the breaker's yard late last year and it was a mighty tome.
Paragraph upon paragraph on how to change a headlight bulb.
But that's enough of that.
I do like the 'alternative' manuals that they have published in recent years.
I have a number on the shelves behind me including The London Underground, Flying Scotsman, the Avro Vulcan, Heathrow Airport, the Moon, Apollo 11 and the Cold War.
I hope that I'm not risking the Wrath of Mod by providing this link:
Haynes Publishing.
It's not
really advertising. Honest. ;)
No problem, many links are posted. The mods look for hidden or blatant links in newbie's posts.
Ha ha, joke's on me. I lied to some friends and said I was sick on Friday to get out of a social engagement (in truth I really did want to go, but I was exhausted and mentally in a bad place for it and just couldn't bring myself,) but then this morning I woke up actually sick.
You had a premonition. :thumb:
I just heard, from the other room, Popdigr describe some guy:
"Well, he looks like a plow point."
I guess the guy is dull, and/or plain?
Or sharp and shiny?
:lol2:
I just heard, from the other room, Popdigr describe some guy:
"Well, he looks like a plow point."
I guess the guy is dull, and/or plain?
Or sharp and shiny?
:lol2:
Muddy, scratched and generally battered. ;)
Yes, it's clear as mud but it covers the ground. ;)
Auntiedigr is visiting currently. She brought the kids. They did not know what a check was. The kids are 15 years old. Remember checks?
Also, I've been hearing the same repeating commercial on the radio (Nashville station) for Arizona State University. You can get the same degree online as you would on campus. They used to say "For more info, text the word 'school' to 35517, again that's 'school' to 35517." Recently they've changed that to "For more info, text the word 'school' to 35517, again that's 's-c-h-o-o-l' to 35517."
They've started spelling the word school for the people they want to attend their university.:eyebrow:
Not itscool to 35517. Does not apply to English degrees. Sounds like a division of Trump University. :rolleyes:
...so I wanted to send a message to a dwellar who hasn't been around for ages, and I suddenly noticed the option to send an email - cool - did not know you could email direct from the Cellar.
I clicked on it and it took me a to a page where I could write up an email and a message informing me that by sending the email I would make my own email visible to them.
As I have recently (about a year ago) changed my email address, I figured I'd better nip into settings and change the email the Cellar has down for me. I was expecting my old btinternet.com address - nope. It's an email I forgot ever having set up and which must be fucking ancient, because it's an fsnet.co.uk address.
This email type vanished completely in 2014 and most of those email accounts were from the Freeserve internet provider which were then migrated when Freeserve became (was taken over by?) Orange, and was then joined by EE and so forth.
I used to have Freeserve internet in the late 90s/early noughties.
I haven't changed my email on the Cellar since I joined in 2004.
Had I not decided, on a whim, to click that link and send a direct email I'd never have known. That defunct email address, that I had completely forgotten about could have been on there for another decade.
:sniff: That explains why you never write back. :sniff:
Well that, and the dick pics. :lol:
That was from the hotmale account.
So at 4:00 AM this morning, Mr. Clod's phone suddenly goes nuts with texts. He initially assumes it's a work emergency, but no, they're from random people all saying, "Hey," "Hi," "What's up?" etc.
He starts engaging with these people, trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and eventually it becomes clear that someone has listed his number on a Craigslist bootycall post--actually not his number, just his number with a different-but-similar area code, and these are all the idiots trolling craigslist at 4 AM in Austin who also can't read for comprehension. (Which means god knows how many people correctly texted this supposed 23-year-old in need of a plowing...)
He tells everyone they have the wrong number, mystery solved, time to go back to bed--but being Mr. Clod, he can't pass up the opportunity to educate.
"But you do know these things are fake though, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look, if she were really a 23-year-old girl, she'd be using Tinder, not craigslist. This is either a pimp, or a porn website looking to drum up business, or most likely just a guy who gets off on sexting with other guys."
[Long pause] "Yeah, well, thanks for the tip."
Don't ask, you don't want to know. :haha:
Boy Scout Merit Badge for Cyber-Citizenship goes to Mr. Clod!
I'd have sent them pictures to haunt their dreams.:evil3:
There's an annual summer event here called "Jaws on the Water," where they put up a projection screen on the lakeshore and people float in inner tubes watching the movie. Pretty cute, yeah? Except I just found out that Mr. Clod's boss is one of a team of local scuba divers they hire to sneak up and grab people from under the water in the middle of the movie.
Then prepare your razor blade and poison spike chaps in advance. ;)
16yo son added "Airman Goggles" to the family shopping list some time last night.
Apparently he's thinking ahead to Halloween just in case he can persuade a friend and find a third person to torment the neighborhood dressed as the Spanish Inquisition a la Monty Python.
(I probably shouldn't have asked....)
Meh, just tell him to wear a hockey helmet and put some swimming goggles on it.
been there done that one years ago for now 18yo son
I was just amused to find it there between the potatoes and shampoo
pretty sure the vintage flying gear is in that aisle.
Not today, but, yesterday.
The Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus, I mean, the Barnes & Noble Nook Turd Plus, I mean, the Barnes & Noble Nook HD Turd, I mean the Barnes & Turd Nook HD Plus, I mean, oh you get it...
When the thing was brand new it was a turd. A turd w/a great screen. And the really great thing about this turd, was that when you updated the thing, about a third of them turned into bricks. So, I refused to update the thing, not really believing it could be made to be worse, but unwilling to risk bricking m'Nook.
I don't know how long I've had the thing, it was a gift from a friend, four-five years. Anyway, yesterday I picked up the Turd/Nook, wtfe, and the thing began updating itself. I know it was updating because the word "Updating" displayed itself across the great screen. I said "Oh shit!! M'Nook is about to brick itself!" and shut the thing off as fast as I could, which is 5 seconds, which is apparently enough time to download an update. When I turned it back on later, it still said "Updating", but that went away almost immediately, and was replaced by the word "Nook", which is what you see while the Turd is booting up. That's all it ever said. It's a brick. The Barnes & Noble Nook HD Plus is now no,longer a turd. It is a dried up, chalky, white, dog turd.
So I broke the motherfucking piece of shit Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus over my thigh. Then threw it outside into the rain. Then I remembered the little, teensy microSD card, and went out into the rain and retrieved it. And then I stomped that motherfucking piece of shit Barnes & Noble TURD HD Plus into the fucking mud, where it has belonged since it was still wrapped in plastic.
NOTE: If you happen to be cursed with a Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus, and they push an update onto it, and it bricks itself, and you break it over your thigh, for the love of God, CLOSE YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!!!!!!! A cloud of microscopically thin glass approximately the size of a Volkswagen Beetle WILL assail you. I have found glass everywhere. It's like glitter.
So, you won't accidentally run across ol' Grav bitching about his Turd, Nook, wtfe, anymore. It is no longer.
It's not pining for the fjords.
It isn't sleeping.
It has no lovely plumage.
I say you he dead.
(Pic to follow.:))
ETA: I told you a pic was coming:
[ATTACH]63250[/ATTACH]
The stomping kinda took out some of the warp (the case was surprisingly flexible) that the breaking over the thigh put into it, but, it's still in the mud like a turd should be.
So long you piece of shit.
Esteemed Mr G...
You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.
Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?' ;)
Esteemed Mr G...
You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.
Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?' ;)
This is mildly amusing me ....
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Esteemed Mr G...
You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.
Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?' ;)
As I read his account, it's clear to me that he feels used, and was speaking in the present tense "am used". But I think perhaps he misunderstood "mildly".
It was amusing after-the-fact. Mildly.:D
I thought that since ppl read my posts bitching and moaning about that, that thing, so much over the last year, or three, or four, someone might get a chuckle outta the final fit.
It was actually a fairly calm episode. kind alike "Well, fuck."
It's still out there, btw.
And I'm still finding glass. How can so much glass be in my room, and so much glass still be attached to the thing?
That's an interesting business model, though. Build a product that bricks itself on updating. And then push the fucking update.
:facepalm:
It was amusing after-the-fact. Mildly.:D
I thought that since ppl read my posts bitching and moaning about that, that thing, so much over the last year, or three, or four, someone might get a chuckle outta the final fit.
It was actually a fairly calm episode. kind alike "Well, fuck."
It's still out there, btw.
And I'm still finding glass. How can so much glass be in my room, and so much glass still be attached to the thing?
All understood. :thumb:
That's an interesting business model, though. Build a product that bricks itself on updating. And then push the fucking update.
:facepalm:
It's not up there with building a better mouse trap, is it? :)
Elon Musk makes me laugh.
SpaceX option package for new Tesla Roadster will include ~10 small rocket thrusters arranged seamlessly around car. These rocket engines dramatically improve acceleration, top speed, braking & cornering. Maybe they will even allow a Tesla to fly …
I was tickled by the Not A Flame Thrower.
I was accidentally shot with a BB gun when young. I would rather have that then to be shot with a flame thrower that isn't a flame thrower.
You hope it was an accident.:p:
We routinely shot each other with BB guns, when we were kids back in the 60's.
And yes it hurt like hell.
You might have put your eye out.[/ChristmasStory]
I got shot in the eye with a BB at a Scout camp. Luckily, only a ricochet.
My buddies older brother used to shoot at us. Fortunately, I was the skinny one and he was the fat one.
Mr. Clod got a resume from a guy with an annoying double name--think John Johnson or Peter Petersburg. But to make things worse, he learned at the interview that the guy's first name is pronounced differently than the last name. Like "Puh-teer" Petersburg, or "Yoan" Johnson.
It was a good interview, and they're probably going to hire him, so it's pretty much a given that Mr. Clod will forever be screwing up this guy's name. I feel bad for him, but then again he's probably used to it.
Isn't it annoying that you can't use real names because they will likely find it in a vanity search?
Except for Edwin Tapia. I want that guy to come forward. We've been getting his magazines at our house for years.
[strike]I send my buddy free catalogs.[/strike] I have free catalogs sent to my buddy. Been doing it for years.
I always use some really fucked up variation on his actual name.
I like to send bullshit Christmas cards to people. I saw one hanging in a buddies house once, I had to out myself it was too funny not to reveal.
Not just blood, "old" blood.
Alexa, Amazon's artificial intelligence can be intriguing. Alexa links to music and news sources, answers questions; also, entertains by singing, telling stories and jokes. Besides replying to questions that have fact based answers, Alexa has opinions. She'll (character female) even form one if the topic interests her. When I asked what her favorite movie derived from a book was, she said she didn't know that. A few days later, after another verbal exchange, she reminded me that I'd asked the question and said that it would be Breakfast at Tiffany's.
It seems that the more open ended the requests are, the more "personality" driven the responses are and some are quite funny:
sexobon: "Tell me your thoughts."
Alexa: "If I was in an old Hollywood western, I’d sit on the bar in the saloon and sing songs and tell jokes and stories. When strangers walked in, I’d say, Howdy! And they'd look around and say, "What the heck is that contraption?"
:lol: I was amused.
Steelers played a horrific game in the rain in Cleveland, tons of penalties and 5(?) turnovers and yet Cleveland doesn't end their winless streak. I guess both teams are cellar dwellars.
Gabrielle Union Explains How to Pronounce Daughter’s Name...
...and I quote:
Explaining the thought process behind her daughter’s moniker, Union shared that “James” is a family name.
“We wanted to include my family in her name so that ‘James’ is from my uncle James Francis Glass who is also my grandfather,” she wrote, adding that “Union is her middle name.”
I didn't know she was from Kentucky.
:p:
A missionary was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle, where he has spent years teaching the natives, when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them, was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."
The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock.”
Hearing this, the chief repeats, "Rock."
The missionary is elated with the results. They walk a bit further and hear rustling in the bushes. They peek over the top and see a couple of natives in the midst of heated sexual activity. The missionary is embarrassed, and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both.
The missionary is flabergasted. He’s spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other. “How could you kill these people in cold blood that way?!”
The chief replied, "My bike"
Funneh.
Mildly amusing me is the fact that Momdigr knows basically nothing about the song Alice's Restaurant.
Funneh.
Mildly amusing me is the fact that Momdigr knows basically nothing about the song Alice's Restaurant.
Heh.
And I started jumpin' up and down, yellin' "KILL! KILL!"
:D
"...you're our boy..." is one of the funniest lines in the song.
GAHH!1!
[size=1]Sceert me a li'l bit.
Capitol letters, man. Phew.[/size]
This is apparently a contender for the British christmas #1. I love it :D This is the stuff I miss, I've been smiling all day since I saw it
[YOUTUBE]8iEB8bfP7wE[/YOUTUBE]
This is apparently a contender for the British christmas #1. I love it :D This is the stuff I miss, I've been smiling all day since I saw it
[YOUTUBE]8iEB8bfP7wE[/YOUTUBE]
Excellent! I'll be humming that song (and thinking of sausage rolls) for the next few days, and I'm ok with that. ;)
Now I want sausage rolls.
keeping my comments to myself...
Saw this eBay ad today:
[ATTACH]65910[/ATTACH]
It pictures a Non-Commissioned officer (NCO).
Yeah, that's eBay.
I have a choice/am walking a fine line between being miserable and mildly amused so I'm posting this here and hoping that will win out ...
Towards the end, Beest's slippers were dying to a point where they were dangerous for his unstable self. It was not slipper season and he was a size 13 and had found only one brand that worked for his needs/preferences so they were kind of hard to find even when it was slipper season. But I found a pair online (at a $$premium). I was so proud of myself. Shame I didn't look behind all his colostomy supplies where I just found three brand new pairs stock-piled :/ (at the end of one season I found a shit ton of his size on clearance and he used to destroy several pairs a year so....) :rolleyes:
[post=1022676]Thank you.[/post]
(I double posted to use that one)
well also you have never had terminal fucking cancer with unpleasant palliative treatments that require suddenly acquiring a shit ton of medical supplies and needing somewhere to put them either.
That's what made it easier for me to be mildly amused. Thanx again.
Elon Musk makes me laugh.
He still does.The new Roadster will actually do something like [hovering in the air on rockets]
Today, my daughter got into a conversation with a medical professional about our dog, and asked if she wanted to see a picture (not for the first time.) The doctor, being a good sport, says sure. So I dutifully show her the most recent picture, wherein the dog is sprawled on her back in a very adorable way.
"Do you want to see the picture of her face again, too?" asks my daughter (this being the picture the doctor has already seen.)
"Sure," says the doctor--and foolishly starts swiping backwards through the images on my phone. The photos she sees, in order...
--A ziplock bag labeled "Rabbit Organs"
--A gingerbread man decorated in leather fetish gear and a ball gag
--My son's EDM recital video
--That gruesome shot of my knuckle with a chunk taken out of it from the mandolin slicer.
It was only at that point that I managed to get the phone out of her hands and say, "Let me go ahead and scroll, it's pretty far back..."
That's funneh right thar.
Am I the only one who doesn't have embarrassing pictures on the phone?:rolleyes:
Today, my daughter got into a conversation with a medical professional about our dog, and asked if she wanted to see a picture (not for the first time.) The doctor, being a good sport, says sure. So I dutifully show her the most recent picture, wherein the dog is sprawled on her back in a very adorable way.
"Do you want to see the picture of her face again, too?" asks my daughter (this being the picture the doctor has already seen.)
"Sure," says the doctor--and foolishly starts swiping backwards through the images on my phone. The photos she sees, in order...
--A ziplock bag labeled "Rabbit Organs"
--A gingerbread man decorated in leather fetish gear and a ball gag
--My son's EDM recital video
--That gruesome shot of my knuckle with a chunk taken out of it from the mandolin slicer.
It was only at that point that I managed to get the phone out of her hands and say, "Let me go ahead and scroll, it's pretty far back..."
Ha!
Am I the only one who doesn't have embarrassing pictures on the phone?:rolleyes:
Oh, there's some freaky shit on my lil ol flipfone...
I just ain't too embarrassed about it.
I have stupid random stuff on my phone. I use it a lot as a memory aid.
memory aid
Sounds like an Alzheimer's medication that ya drink.
"Try new Memory-Ade. It's good, uh, er-glugglugglug-
stuff. It's good stuff."
Squirrels can be a bit jittery around remote controlled robots. Skip the first 15 seconds, but skip no further than that.
[YOUTUBE]D2x8QA6CJFE[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBEWIDE]D2x8QA6CJFE[/YOUTUBEWIDE]
He still does.
Will it fly? Maybe. Does it swim? Yes, but they don't recommend it. (
Old 2016 story)
Say, this fellow [post=1021558]gets around[/post].
[ATTACH]66248[/ATTACH]
New holiday commercial.
[YOUTUBE]Pdgk3ERKdug[/YOUTUBE]
Hey, that was Elliot!!:jig:
My daughter is having Thanksgiving dinner with two friends. Only one of the three people has eyes that are the same color. What a weird minority to be in.
How did that homochromiac get in there?
Just made an online doc appointment. one of the health insurance options was Cigna POS. Yup, sure is..... am also amused every day at work when people refer to anything near the registers as POS ... gotta take the smiles where you can get 'em, right?
This clip about Scottish law...
[ATTACH]69578[/ATTACH]
First in, last out. :blush:
There is some kind of medieval logic to that.
well, it is a stack and not a queue
The small grocery store chain that I work(ed) for was a victim of many errors. Not least of which was selling 42% to a major conventional supermarket. Who fucked them over. We stopped paying bills a little while ago, apparently. Suppliers stopped delivering last week -the main one this past weekend. The large chain forced products that didn't fit the business model into our stores..... And also delivered in the middle of the night, long after our receiving hours ended so we couldn't check the deliveries, there was always stuff we didn't order.... They delivered a truckload late last night. I hope so hard that has not been paid for. Preferably wasn't even intended for us but one of their own stores
Fill your pantry with non-perishables.
[SIZE="3"]Huey Lewis and the Crus[/SIZE]
From Burgundy to Napa, the venerated rocker has experienced the power of wine all his life
This amusing title for a magazine article I just read about how Huey was drinking the great
crus of Burgundy and the Rhone Valley since a teenager, at the dinner table, with his stepmother who's been a wine importer.
masky monkey still amusing me.... :)
(perhaps we need a masked smiley?)
masky monkey still amusing me.... :)
(perhaps we need a masked smiley?)
[muffled]
😷
[/muffled]
From here...I have recently been introduced to a coworker with an awesomely hilarious last name, which I will try to explain here without making it Googleable... Her last name is hyphenated, except the two names together form the name of a famous actor.
So imagine, for example, a person named Cheryl Simon-Pegg. That's not it, but that's the level of recognizability her last name has.
Meaning either her parents are insane, or else she got married, and simply couldn't pass up the opportunity.
--A ziplock bag labeled "Rabbit Organs"
--A gingerbread man decorated in leather fetish gear and a ball gag
--My son's EDM recital video
--That gruesome shot of my knuckle with a chunk taken out of it from the mandolin slicer.
Umm, I realize you'll have to scroll really far back at this point, but you do realize we need to see those photos and a link to the video.
What's happened to this place? I'm gone for like a year or two and it all comes apart at the seams.
I regret to inform you that I just recently cleared out my phone... But the first two are on my
instagram, and I'm certain the knuckle shot is somewhere else on the Cellar, though I can't for the life of me remember where. The EDM song is posted to his own YouTube channel:
[YOUTUBE]MvBtMxu8OwM[/YOUTUBE]
Umm, I realize you'll have to scroll really far back at this point, but you do realize we need to see those photos and a link to the video.
[QUOTE=Clodfobble]--That gruesome shot of my knuckle with a chunk taken out of it from the mandolin slicer.
What's happened to this place? I'm gone for like a year or two and it all comes apart at the seams.[/QUOTE]
snip-- I'm certain the knuckle shot is somewhere else on the Cellar, though I can't for the life of me remember where. --snip
You're welcome.
--snip
The EDM song is posted to his own YouTube channel:
[YOUTUBE]MvBtMxu8OwM[/YOUTUBE]
My thanks to you, that was really fun!
I had no idea they were getting it on in Belgium at these rates
Have you been there? there's fuck all else to do. Except perhaps learn the bazillion languages they speak. you choose... :D
...they are canny linguists
Mrs Glatt was on the phone for an hour or so with T-Mobile, switching service from Boost Mobile for three phones in the glatt household.
At several times during the phone call, she heard roosters in the background on the other end of the line, and the service rep would start talking a little faster and louder to try to cover the background noise.
We’re all just doing our best in these crazy times.
I made up a drinking game around the virus situation. Gotta drink whenever a commercial mentions "these stressful times", or "this trying time in our lives" or some such phrase referring to the kung flu.
Stayed drunk all month.
unprecedented
That one has come to my attention as well.
Have we ever lived in precedented times?
oh I was just talking about Grav being drunk for a month ;)
I had no idea they were getting it on in Belgium at these rates
In a line not reported, "Or we'll spank you right on your bare ass." Just see if we don't.
Somewhere, Hercule Poirot is learning the *headdesk.* With a hundred year old rolltop. "It sounds like a snare drum, plutôt."
[ATTACH]70557[/ATTACH]
I read this post just before 0700 and somewhat bleary eyed.
I thought it said 380 cases of constipation.
Well it did imply that nobody gave a shit. ;)
Years ago, Flint visited my house with his kiddos, and they stopped at our grocery store on the way. The store has a weirdly convoluted parking lot, and Flint was furious about its design flaws.
Now they're doing construction, and they've opened it up to a more traditional layout. Every time I pull in now, I think, "Oh, Flint would be happy about this."
I am also mildly amused by that
Oh my God, that's hilarious. :rotflol:
Flint, we need you to go back and test it out......
Maybe start a youtube channel devoted to lot critique.
That would be fitting because Flint critiques a lot. ;)
Maybe start a youtube channel devoted to lot critique.
Then Clodfobble can lip-sync his videos on Tik Tok......
for the last ?16 summers I have spent the penultimate week of July volunteering at the county summer swim championships, marshaling approx 2000 swimmers aged 4-18. For the last ?6 I have been the head marshal and am known for my duck/duct tape on the ground to direct flow and help get swimmers lined up into heats and into the pool, on the blocks, on time for the right race and in the right lane. I'm pretty damn good at it.
This year, championships aren't happening.
Tonight, someone in my neighborhood organized food trucks to come in lieu of their usual block party which can't happen. She mentioned she'd be there setting up and putting Xs on the ground to help people socially distance while waiting to order from the trucks, so at the last minute I decided to grab all the left over duck tape I had from last year's swim championships and head on over just in case I could help. Found them just starting to try and tape Xs made out of wooden paint sticks to the ground with decorator's tape and realizing it wouldn't work....
....so I ended up spending a little of my summer duck-taping the ground in bright colors to tell people where to stand anyway :lol:
You've got that stick-to-itiveness.
Maybe start a youtube channel devoted to lot critique.
That would be fitting because Flint critiques a lot. ;)
omg, the name of the channel should be "Flint critiques a lot"
A youtube sensation is born.
That one has come to my attention as well.
Have we ever lived in precedented times?
That would be the time just before this one.
precedentured times -second bite at the cherry?
if I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture!
Good Morning Foot3
good evening Fargon!
Ann Arbor has a very famous Art Fair (well several of them running concurrently) in the third week of July. Cancelled this year, obviously) So I suggested to my Parkrun group (who are quite into using Strava to create "art") that we could have a StravArt Fair. Tonight -whilst looking for a double curve to make the Parkrun logo- I spotted this route possibility....
[ATTACH]71076[/ATTACH]
(When I told Pologirl I had a juvenile moment during this activity, she immediately asked if I had drawn a dick. So I'm double-amused :D)
you didn't draw it, you just pointed out what was already... pointing out.
Is that an outline of one of the Simpsons?
Despite what it says on the back of the bathroom door, I haven't gotten that friendly with anyone called Simpson, so I couldn't tell you
I picked up Chinese food today, and as I swore I would the last time I went today I prevailed. :crone:
I am mildly amusing myself. Firstly ....some background.....
I discovered Parkrun. British by origin (and massive there), it's now all over the world. It's a free timed 5K that happens every (non-pandemic) Saturday morning. Open to everyone -runners, walkers, people with strollers, dogs and in wheelchairs There are 47 (and growing rapidly) locations in the USA, small and friendly events in the main. When I first learned about it -from my sister in the UK then a BBC article the same week, I looked it up and found one of the USA locations was right on my doorstep. So I started doing it after I recovered from my foot surgery almost a year ago.
They got covid-cancelled in March, but My group kept in communication first by doing a virtual run each week -where we ran solo each Saturday and then posted times, pictures, maps etc and a volunteer combined them in a "report".... Then by doing a monthly Bingo card with elements to add to your lonely workout and then an amazing google sheet where we can all keep track of ourselves and everyone else.
Lots of parkrunners use a phone app called Strava to record their runs, and one of the regular Bingo squares is "Strava Art" (i.e. make your run route look like something) so I got the app because the whole planning and execution of runs to look like something appeals to me :D, and it's a really handy way to record your time too. Like every other app, it's also a wannabe social media platform and I am not interested in that, but some of the regular parkrunners have started following me regardless and "give kudos" for each run/walk/whatever. One, Marie, I teased that I only turn on strava because I know she's "stalking" me on there, so if I don't make it, she'll know where to direct the emergency services to recover the body. So I've been plotting for a while to do a "chalk outline" run/walk.
Today (a non-run day for me*) I decided to take a Sunday evening stroll with a small petunia I'd grown from seed to check off the "take your pet/houseplant for a run/walk" bingo square (already did Strava Art this month). Which was amusing in itself, not to mention the undertone of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (which is very dear to me)...
......and this was my route, which I titled "Marie, you know what to do":
[ATTACH]71231[/ATTACH]
I'm just waiting for her to see it on Strava, but all y'all know I hate keeping secrets that amuse me to myself, so I'm boring you with it because that seems slightly less insane than sitting here chuckling to myself..
(I swear I went around that circle properly, Strava is just a bitch)
*since gyms closed and I became jobless, I try to run 5K or more 2-3 times a week. The other days I walk by myself or socially distanced with others. Sometimes a 5K, some times just an evening stroll. My total solo runs total almost 200 miles now :D I have probably walked half as much again
Bwahahaha!
Hey maybe there's a chalk outline because of the massive head trauma.
Brava Strava!
WELL DONE!
Head Trauma or lizardperson .... perhaps THEY... were right...... :eek:
.
Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using Tapatalk
The only thing suspicious in either ad is the word "unintentional".
Otherwise, WELL PLAYED!
And George Brownridge is smiling...
And George Brownridge is smiling...
Who wouldn't be? ;)
Presumably Mrs Brownridge has yet to comment?
The only thing suspicious in either ad is the word "unintentional".
Otherwise, WELL PLAYED!
You don't think pleasing 15 women for an entire day is suspicious?
I'd be suspicious of pleasing one woman for an entire day. :eyebrow:
I amused myself by creating this one just now.
Presumably Mrs Brownridge has yet to comment?
"Please inform Mrs. Brownridge." ;)
Helping a non-internet-savvy relative do some government stuff online, and discovered to my amusement (though admittedly, not his):
1.) In order to renew his drivers license, he must provide DPS with a copy of his birth certificate.
2.) In order to get a copy of his birth certificate, he must provide the Office of Vital Statistics with a copy of his drivers license.
but.... does the office of vital nosiness require for the license to be non-expired?
Probably. Fortunately, he has many months left before it actually expires--not least because the birth certificate is going to take 12 weeks to get here, and the next available DPS appointment isn't until January.
still amusing, though. Here, if your Birth Cert is Foreign, you are supposed to provide a translation into English. Even if you were born in England. They let me off on that.....
Helping a non-internet-savvy relative do some government stuff online, and discovered to my amusement (though admittedly, not his):
1.) In order to renew his drivers license, he must provide DPS with a copy of his birth certificate.
2.) In order to get a copy of his birth certificate, he must provide the Office of Vital Statistics with a copy of his drivers license.
That is some classic bullshit there.
Is this a Real ID renewal?
They have again postponed the requirement for a Real ID drivers license in order to fly domestically, but before they had done that, I needed to renew my license in the spring. Ifyou want the optional Real ID license, you need to bring your birth certificate, SS Card, and, IIRC, two (2) utility bills or similar to show that you live where you say you live. It's kind of random what they will accept as a utility bill. Anyway, I scrambled around to find the required random paperwork in order to get my Real ID. My wife has her name on most of that stuff because she usually processes those payments, so it was a pain for me to find acceptable proof that I lived here.
And when I was at the DMV waiting in line for an hour to get my renewal, there was a fairly steady stream of pissed off customers going back out the door empty handed after waiting in that long line because the paperwork they brought was insufficient.
It makes me a little concerned for my kids, because they have the youth license that expires sooner, but they have no utilities in their names. Zip. Nada. So how can they prove that they live here?
Ironically, a passport is easier to get, and you can use one as ID to fly when the postponed Real ID deadline rears its head again if you don't have the super special driver's license.
I'm fairly certain all of this Real ID hassle is the Republicans' doing after 9/11.
It would be really ironic if Clodfobble's relative supports Republicans.
The millimeter's passport incorrectly listed her birth year as being five years earlier than it actually is. As a result she is, according to the passport, no longer a minor and older than her brother. No one noticed it, not even the customs agents in germany and in the US upon her return. Her mother is all freaked out about it and wants to get it changed. I would have left it until she needed to renew.
I don't get the urgency esp. since there's nowhere that she can travel ATM.
Glatt - yes, it's a RealID renewal, which is why it has to be done in person from scratch, although it was set to expire in April either way. And yeah, he does vote exclusively Republican, though he claims he's a libertarian.
He'll have issues with paperwork proving his residence, too, because he does his best to get all his mail at a post office, so his home address is actually printed on very few things. We're hoping it counts if the utility bill is addressed to a post office box but lists his house as the "service address."
As far as teens proving where they live, of course I have no idea what the law is there, but here you just have to bring a parent or other adult whose name is on the utility bill, and then that person signs an affidavit saying that the teen or whoever lives there too.
I wonder if any state has managed to create a DMV that is efficient, competent and values respect and courtesy for its customers.
Though I have resided in several states, I have never had to deal with any but California's, which is always an unwelcome pain.
I did know a person through my work who was a DMV clerk and later a supervisor. For about twenty years it made dealings with them tolerable, but all good things pass.
When I got my "Real" ID/DL at my last renewal, I wish I could have video taped it and made millions in either the comedy or believe-it-or-not markets.
But my first question: Has any state made theirs work?
The representative from PA says nope.
You don't need the real ID if you have a passport.
I think I could just about manage this run.
Do it ...when Parkrun restarts...... :D
Renewed my enhanced driver's license online, ten minutes tops.
The original enhanced driver's license was easy too.
Thunderboi is mildly amused by his customers asking him what his real name is.... he came home from work just as I was reading that his first name (Thor) is fargon's favorite one syllable name So I am also mildly amused
Today I am mildly amused by misreading one of my friend's post on basefuck (probably because it was so mundane and needed a little spicing up):
Got my new pens in the mail
Of course I added an i.
Not that many people would be likely to share that anyway, but they are definitely not someone who would want one of those, so I am amused.
as you were.....
Overheard my daughter's teacher differentiating the students who are back in the classroom vs. those still over distance learning as "my zoomers" and "my roomers."
my god, it's taken me five days to get back to this thread. fuuuuuck
That's because you were selfishly doing what you felt like instead of sticking to your assignment.
It's getting milder and milder, but I still don't accept it, the constant Fing blathering...
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ect...
Not that it makes a difference at all, but it's off my chest,,,,makes me wonder if all you and your parents and grandparents have a lot of running conversations Fing everything. Using Fing in all your discussions....ummmmmmmm
No they didn't, I picked my own Bad Habits along the way.
Jesus Loves You, and So Do I.
No they didn't, I picked my own Bad Habits along the way.
Jesus Loves You, and So Do I.
Phony like some others out there....B.S.
So fuck is not okay, but bullshit is?
Or only if you abbreviate it and make the reader say it in their head?
So fuck is not okay, but bullshit is?
Or only if you abbreviate it and make the reader say it in their head?
I love that Louis C.K. routine. "Take responsibility for the shitty words you want to say"
I nearly linked it.
Don't say N word. say Nigger, ya Cunt!
[YOUTUBE]ytY9_xy7qgY[/YOUTUBE]
I would never have sworn in front of my Gran but then she was in her 80s when I was in my teens.
Probably closer to your generation would be my mum (70s) and she doesn't give a toss about swearing as long as it is in an appropriate setting and done with style
Example: interview for a job? No swearing / with my mates at the pub? fill your boots
In the house of someone who swears? Absolutely / In the house of someone who finds it offensive? absolutely not
I have very much the same attitude.
They are just words. They have whatever power or force we imbue them with.
There is nothing inherently offensive about the word 'fuck'.
exactly this. Perhaps your way of saying it is kinder..... (like a kinder surprise.... ;) )
There is nothing inherently offensive about the word 'fuck'.
In fact, nobody alive today even knows why it ever was offensive.
from the BBC.....
[YOUTUBE]AhxfVCWQ7OA[/YOUTUBE]
I would never have sworn in front of my Gran but then she was in her 80s when I was in my teens.
Probably closer to your generation would be my mum (70s) and she doesn't give a toss about swearing as long as it is in an appropriate setting and done with style
Example: interview for a job? No swearing / with my mates at the pub? fill your boots
In the house of someone who swears? Absolutely / In the house of someone who finds it offensive? absolutely not
I have very much the same attitude.
They are just words. They have whatever power or force we imbue them with.
There is nothing inherently offensive about the word 'fuck'.
This was a big thing I taught my kids from the beginning: there are no bad words only inappropriate audiences. Seems to have worked out OK but the mm swears like a sailor and she's only 13. I guess she comes by it honestly.
Well Fuck, I didn't know that.
This was a big thing I taught my kids from the beginning: there are no bad words only inappropriate audiences. Seems to have worked out OK but the mm swears like a sailor and she's only 13. I guess she comes by it honestly.
Us too. Unfortunately, we failed to realize soon enough how much more offensive cunt is to merkins than to brits.... still, they all learned eventually..... :eek:
Great vid Mon
Suzie Dent is my hero. Love her on 8outof10cats Does Countdown
No they didn't, I picked my own Bad Habits along the way.
Jesus Loves You, and So Do I.
Phony like some others out there....B.S.
Well, see what that got ya.
I cannot say that I am loving Jaminhealth at the moment. Nor Flint.
But then again, I have been quite an asshiole myself. I am a different and, I hope, better person now than I was then. Because of these people here in The Cellar. I'm so glad to have had you in my life.
Fuck you jaminhealth, 82 times, and fuck you Flint, twice, sideways, with a dead dingo's dick. The two of you, and your ensuing assholery, have driven the final nails into The Cellar's coffin.
The Cellar is closing.
The Cellar is closing.
God dammit.
Calm down hoss we have a back up plan
Where has all the humor gone? The fun, the games, the banter?
Image of the day, poetry, NSFW, Nothingland, Quality images
Just good stuff.
"Since its inception, the Cellar has been a place for anyone who enjoys communicating with other literate, intelligent people, and sharing a community with them - nothing more, nothing less."
"The Cellar is like an electronic tavern. Behave as you might at a real-life tavern. Don't barge in and interrupt every table in the place. Walk in and sit down, wait for something you know about and politely put in your two cents."
I think behave is a keyword, or lack thereof.
Sad.
JR
Suzie Dent is my hero. Love her on 8outof10cats Does Countdown
speaking of which....
this just popped up in the episode I'm currently watching:
[YOUTUBE]AqOkoRFEzaw?start=990[/YOUTUBE]
