How long have you been with your current "significant other"?
some of us are young have have been with their SOs for a year and it feels like a lifetime, and some are old and their three years still qualifies as a new relationship. Some have been maried forever, some are almost professionally single..... So regardless of how long it feels (although please feel free to post and explain) how long have you been together? ...and I'll leave the definition of "significant other" to you too. If they're significant to you, they count, even if it's your mother ;)
Mrs. dar and I have been together 23.5 years (22 years of marriage plus 1.5 years dating). Seems like just yesterday...
beest and I have been together for longer that we haven't been together -we met just before I turned 19 and this year I will turn 39. Wow, I still don't even feel 20, never mind feeling like we've been together that long!
Been with her for over 17 years, married for 15 and a half of them.
did Mrs Dar take your last name, Dar? and Glatt?
I took beest's last name because we wanted the same name, hated mine, didn't mind his and couldn;t find anything original we liked. In UK at the time, it was still prety much the norm for women to change their name, but frowned on in academic circles if you had already been published.
I certainly didn't expect her (and didn't ask her) to change her name to mine, but was pleased and flattered when she chose to. She did this thing where she kept her middle name, added her maiden name as a second middle name and then took my name as her last name. And then she insisted on using all four names for all her paperwork and on the job. It confused everybody. So she eventually sort of dropped her original middle name and now follows the traditional First name, Maiden Name, Last Name format.
four names is a sod for American paperwork. our kids all have 4 names for funsies (not one of them my maiden name) but there's no such standard format in the UK. and if there were, we'd probably give them the extra name for the hellof it. I'd gladly lose my given middle name, though -it's Jane.
We met Jan 9, 1990. I moved in with him March 23, 1990. We married on June 26, 1993. Damn, that was a long time ago. :D
I didn't like my maiden name. I don't care for my married name either (it's a German name and everyone gets it wrong) but I had to pick one. Oh well!
Been with her for over 17 years, married for 15 and a half of them.
Same here.
Just out of curiosity, what day were you married?
October 23, 1993.
I wanted October 31, but the pastor refused.
I've only been married five years, been together 10. Second marriage for him, third for me.
oh look! the poll is full of old married people and is taking on that body shape! :lol: maybe all the newly-matcheds are still dating or having sex on a friday night :D
We wanted to get married on friday 13th, but the celebrant was alreasy booked so we went with the 20th.
Friday 13th?
Cool.
Please tell me you were planning on wearing hockey masks.
Same here.
Just out of curiosity, what day were you married?
a month before you. Sept 25th
Friday 13th?
Cool.
Please tell me you were planning on wearing hockey masks.
no, but I wore a black and purple dress...
Dated for seven years, off and on. Married for three... our anniversary is April 15th! Talk about bad karma... >.<
Was in a long term relationship (living 'over the brush' as they used to say) from 18 yrs old to 30. For last seven and a half years I've been 'professionally single' :P Other than 1 year spent pining over D, and then 3 months dating him...that was an interesting experiment, but really, single suits me best :)
My ex and I were friends about a couple years, "dated" a year, lived together two years, were married almost 12. Been divorced 6.
That's enough longevity for my lifetime. Damn I'm old.
Kitsune and I met in the spring of 2005 and got married spring of last year, so we've been together four years and married for one.
I took his last name because I absolutely hated my maiden name. I enjoy confusing people with the name's strange spelling.
We have been together for 7 years of pure bliss. our secret is we never stay mad at one another. And we make each other laugh.:hugnkiss::hugnkiss:
Awesome, fargon. I think those are the secrets: don't stay mad (forgive minor transgressions) and laugh a lot.
Happy couples make me smile. :)
I have been with mac_tire for over 5 years, married for almost 4. I was married to my ex for 5 years and together for 1 year before that. I have been in the cellar for 8. ;)
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and uh...3 months, so that puts me JUST into the 1-3 yr category. We started dating (officially) on January 13th last year, so sometimes our monthly "anniversaries" fall on friday the 13th, and it's fun ;)
My longest relationship was just over 4 years.
(P.S. We don't celebrate monthly "anniversaries", but it amazes him that I like to be with him, so he'll remind me every month anyway.)
I met jinx when I was 19 and she was 17. We didn't actually get 'together' until the end of that great summer. It was really a great summer..... That was 1990. We got married in Feb of 98. Before that, we were married 11 times in previous incarnations for a grand total of 450 years together.
Me and Mrs. Joe have been married around 16.5 years. Been a good ride so far.
Mee-ee-ee and
Mrs Mrs Joe Mrs Joe Mrs Joe Mrs Joe-oe
We got a thing
That's a go...
7 years in June and they have been amazing. My husband was a godsend for me and he feels the same way about me. We met online in a AOL chatroom for 30 somethings (He was 37 and I was a month away from being 40...:D).
BTW, just out of curiosity, what is/was your astrological signs? Ours is Pisces/Capricorn, which is supposed to be a very complementary match-up.
Wife and I will have been married 25 years this Aug. 26+ years together.
1990 was a fabulous summer. I was 18 that year. Me and J were wild and in love...and high as kites.
I was 25 in 1990, living with my soon to be husband. I remember wild in love. It was nice, if not practical, for us. :)
Met my husband in August of 1992 - he was 18, I was 17. Married him on February 7th, 1998. Still very happy.
1990 was the year I got divorced from my first husband. I was 30. Vive le revolucion!
Coming up on our 6th anniversary, and 2+ years before that. We need to make sure to celebrate for real this year, we did absolutely nothing last year because we were broke.
did Mrs Dar take your last name, Dar? and Glatt?
Yes. I was comfortable with it either way. It was her choice.
I hadn't taken my husband's last name until just about a month ago. I finally grew tired of spelling that long German maiden name.
I'm really on the cusp here. Our 26th anniversary is this summer. Counting our engagement and dating, we're really close to 30. It depends on the definition of 'been with'.:D
I hadn't taken my husband's last name until just about a month ago. I finally grew tired of spelling that long German maiden name.
I once went to school with a girl who had a really long German last name. She was class secretary and once misspelled her own name on the meeting minutes.
I hadn't taken my husband's last name until just about a month ago. I finally grew tired of spelling that long German maiden name.
A while back I heard Kevin Smith's podcast (of Clerks, Mallrats, Dogmas, etc. fame). His wife Jennifer was on it with him, and she mentioned she could never figure out whether it was better to keep her maiden name, Schwalbach, which nobody could spell... or change it, and be one of thousands of "Jennifer Smith"s.
My thirst grade teacher was Mrs. Schwartzentruber. She was a mean old bitch and made everyone learn how to spell her stupid name on the first day of school.
Jim had her for 3rd grade too, and she used to dump his messy desk out all over the floor. She was big into public humiliation.
I kept my name. It was more a case of "why should I change my name -- I'm still the same person I was yesterday!"
My thirst grade teacher was Mrs. Schwartzentruber. She was a mean old bitch and made everyone learn how to spell her stupid name on the first day of school.
Jim had her for 3rd grade too, and she used to dump his messy desk out all over the floor. She was big into public humiliation.
I met jinx's mom when I was 9. how fucking scary is that. she was the
'nice' school nurse at Pickering Valley.
worst part: she remembered me faking a belly ache to get out of math class.
I once went to school with a girl who had a really long German last name. She was class secretary and once misspelled her own name on the meeting minutes.
I have done that...signing a company email!
A while back I heard Kevin Smith's podcast (of Clerks, Mallrats, Dogmas, etc. fame). His wife Jennifer was on it with him, and she mentioned she could never figure out whether it was better to keep her maiden name, Schwalbach, which nobody could spell... or change it, and be one of thousands of "Jennifer Smith"s.
This was exactly my predicament. I now appear to be of Irish descent (instead of German) and there are likely 2 million of me in the state of Colorado. Before, I had not been able to locate another person with the same name as mine. Still, not having to remember military style spelling for phone companies and like for giving my name over the phone is worth it.
Still, not having to remember military style spelling for phone companies and like for giving my name over the phone is worth it.
"OK, are you sitting down?"
I had a friend with a typical last name as a given name and a typical given name as a last name. It was always fun listening to him try to explain it to whomever was on the other end of the phone.
I worked with a guy whos last name was Stanislaskuzava.
"How do you spell that?"
"It's spelled just like it sounds."
I protest the poll. There was only one choice available. What about polyamorous families?!
Prejudice! Bigotry! ;p
OK. You all want a laugh about names? I know you're going to enjoy this one.
My last name is Kock.
It it pronounced "cook." Or, as an alternate option, "coke."
No, it is not Koch. That's a K at the end, baby. Also, well-meaning people try to morph it in to "knock" instead of a rooster or a male anatomy bit.
Now, to take this further still, my husband's name is Michael. When he was in high school and the teacher called attendance, they asked: "Is my cock here?"
I swear I am not making this up.
Aww Juni, you are something else.
In college I dated a guy with the last name Cockman. I swear, he was awesome, and if it had gone that direction I would have considered marrying him. I did wonder how I would deal with that last name? lol...luckily he went back with his HS sweetheart.
When I got divorced, I kept my married name. I was tired of spelling out my maiden name, or explaining how to pronounce it if it was written down. Now my name is completely symmetrical (4 letters each first middle and last) and I like it. My maiden name is from French-speaking Switzerland: it's cool really but keeping the married name was fine with me: easier all the way around. :)
This is not my story, but it's one of my favorites:
My younger brother came home from elementary school, telling my mom about the cute red-headed girl in his class. As they got older, they became a couple. They had much in common: for instance their love of hilarious Brady Bunch trivia (she still cracks him up with occasional lines from the BB):)
They've been married, oh my gosh, over 10 years. They have 3 beautiful girls to whom they are amazing parents. They have a beautiful home in the country. They LIKE each other, and everyone I know who knows them likes them.
My older brother is re-married, to a wonderful woman. They are great together too. If I could want anything for my loved ones it's that they are loved and happy. It makes me happy to be around them all.
My bro and his wife have an amazing marriage. 19 years now with two growing girls, and still in love. Still best friends.
Aww Juni, you are something else.
In college I dated a guy with the last name Cockman. I swear, he was awesome, and if it had gone that direction I would have considered marrying him. I did wonder how I would deal with that last name?
When I was working at a photolab a customer came in to drop off film and her name was Grewcock. It was late afternoon and I was punchy, I'm sure she saw my attempt at stifling an enormous bark of laughter. It made it up into my nostrils and came out as sounding like a choking beagle. PLus bloody cheeks from biting so hard.
She had a pretty steely look when she left.
Heh, my friend from my old job emailed me to tell me she had come across the funniest name EVAH: Dickensheets.
I was like "old news. Mrs Dickensheets was my grandma's neighbor and gossip buddy, my brothers and I have done all the jokes therein." :lol:
I apologize for my thread drifting. ;)
There isn't an option for divorcing/separated.:greenface
I kept my name. It was more a case of "why should I change my name -- I'm still the same person I was yesterday!"
I was all for keeping my maiden name (after I'd had it for over forty years before we got married) but then I thought "We're becoming a different type of unit" and I thought it made sense to share a name ... so I took his.
Got together on 08/08/88 still going strong.
Good on ya, to pick a date that works in both American and European formats.
Good on ya, to pick a date that works in both American and European formats.
The 88th doesn't work as a day.
09/09/09 however will. So it's a good time for the unattached to begin making plans.
Mrs. dar and I have been together 23.5 years (22 years of marriage plus 1.5 years dating). Seems like just yesterday...
Awww, I can't wait to be you guys. :)
So she eventually sort of dropped her original middle name and now follows the traditional First name, Maiden Name, Last Name format.
I'd gladly lose my given middle name, though -it's Jane.
I took my husband's last name and changed my middle name to my maiden name. One reason is that my father has no brothers and no sons, so we're the end of the line who'll carry his name. The other is that, like you, I hated my given middle name; Doreen. Don't get me wrong, I actually love that name as a first name, but when combined with Jill it just sounds so hickish. I've especially hated it since learning that my middle name was originally supposed to be Dana, which I think is quite beautiful. But when my mother was practicing the name on me while still in the hospital, her roommate mistook 'Jill Dana' for 'Jill, dammit', which prompted choosing a different 'D' name. Grumble.
We have been together for 7 years of pure bliss. our secret is we never stay mad at one another. And we make each other laugh.
We just passed the 8 year mark for being "together" and are fast approaching (next month) our 7 year wedding anniversary, and I, too, still feel pure bliss in our happiness together.
True story. . . Way back in the 1930s, my grandmother was a divorced woman (from a physically abusive husband - Go Baba for having brass balls back when women didn't leave their husbands!), caring for her diabetic mother and a 5 year old daughter. Her brother had recently passed away and a friend wanted to fix her up on a blind date with a man whose mother had also recently died, thinking that at least they'd have something in common. My Baba refused. Not interested. Death's not a thing to have in common that would forge a strong bond. Too many responsibilities to go about dating.
The friend decided to ignore my Baba's concerns and gave the man her number anyway. He phoned and invited her to dinner. She refused. He pleaded that she had to eat anyway, why not get a free meal. She relented.
On that first date he was so smitten that he offered to "put her up in an apartment" and keep a key for himself. She told him he'd have to buy the cow if he wanted the free milk, but she was not interested in being married, so go away and leave her alone.
He did leave, as he was a "ladies ready-to-wear" traveling salesman. On his first day away he sent chocolates. On the second day, flowers. On the third, stockings (difficult to get during the war). He cut his trip short to come home to convince her to marry him. He said he'd take care of her mother and adopt her daughter as his own. Her mother said she'd be a fool to refuse.
He made her a deal; marry him on a 30-day trial basis, and if he hadn't made her happy in 30 days, she could have an annulment and he would leave her alone forever. She accepted. On the eve of their first day of marriage, he pulled out a homemade calendar with 30 days on it, and asked, "Did I make you happy today, dear?" She said that yes, he had. So he put a big X on the first day. Every night for the next 29 days he would ask if he'd made her happy that day. He always had. At the end of 30 days she was completely in love with him, and he spent the next 25 years making sure she was happy every, single day until the day he died.
On the eve of my wedding day, May 26th, 2002, as we were climbing in to bed for the night, my new husband turned to me and said, "Did I make you happy today, dear?"
No, he did not know that story at the time.
For seven years now, hardly a day goes by that he doesn't reaffirm that he still makes me happy, which of course he does. I feel very blessed indeed.
Rest in peace, Baba and Poppy. You set a fine example.
I have been without a significant other for . . . 22 years.
Hallelujah!
Kept my married name though, because it's just so much easier.
There isn't an option for divorcing/separated.:greenface
That would be "single at the moment"?
Uh... around 7 months I think. Heh.
I kept my name when I was married, my reckoning was I was born a [insert name here], I was gonna die a [insert name here]...saved time and hassle when I got divorced too, didnt need to change things back.
I kept my name. It was more a case of "why should I change my name -- I'm still the same person I was yesterday!"
Not quite. Like all rituals, marriage changes you. You come out at the other end a different person, with part of your soul joined with another's for eternity. At least that's the idea.
I'm neutral on the name change issue but Cloud hit the mark. If we come out unchanged we're just living parallel lives.
First marriage: Together for seven years, married six months. Second marriage: together for four years, married for five. Been dating current SO almost three years....not sure what the significance of that is. (Kept the second married name for Princess' sake, and don't like maiden name so much.)
Single at the moment, and right now not too interested in any other state. A date or two might be nice, but no commitments. Just want some regular friskiness if I can find a decent partner. My last relationship has left me sorta apathetic about pursuing sex though.
The name change issue, completely your choice. I agree with Pie, why change your name? You are the same person, you've just agreed to share your life with someone else. They married you for the person you are. A name can be a very significant part of what makes you feel like yourself. For other people it isn't so important. For me, when I was in a relationship that was seemingly leading to marriage, I expressed that I didn't want to change my last name. This was during a family function with my family, and MY family gave me all sorts of shit for not wanting to change my name. Saying ridiculous tripe like "It means you don't really want to be attached to him...blahblahblah" Obviously I don't really remember all that was said, just the shock I felt that my family would expect me to get rid of their name when I marry because I'm the female. My SO wanted me to change my name, more bullshit about I need to take his name to show commitment or something. I told him he needed to take my name then, he came up with some excuse that his dad would get pissed off and that he needs to carry on the name. WTF? Bell? Bell, is that unique your family needs you to carry it on? Bullshit.
My wife and I were married on Thanksgiving (insert jokes here) 2007. In Las Vegas. I put the kibosh on Elvis marrying us.
She has yet to change her (common) Mexican surname to mine (also common). I don't really care but I chide her about it from time to time. She will need to change it, however, to collect on my two life insurance policies totaling some $360,000. HA! I get my way even after death!
snip--
True story. . . Way back in the 1930s, my grandmother was a divorced woman (from a physically abusive husband - Go Baba for having brass balls back when women didn't leave their husbands!), caring for her diabetic mother and a 5 year old daughter. Her brother had recently passed away and a friend wanted to fix her up on a blind date with a man whose mother had also recently died, thinking that at least they'd have something in common. My Baba refused. Not interested. Death's not a thing to have in common that would forge a strong bond. Too many responsibilities to go about dating.
The friend decided to ignore my Baba's concerns and gave the man her number anyway. He phoned and invited her to dinner. She refused. He pleaded that she had to eat anyway, why not get a free meal. She relented.
On that first date he was so smitten that he offered to "put her up in an apartment" and keep a key for himself. She told him he'd have to buy the cow if he wanted the free milk, but she was not interested in being married, so go away and leave her alone.
He did leave, as he was a "ladies ready-to-wear" traveling salesman. On his first day away he sent chocolates. On the second day, flowers. On the third, stockings (difficult to get during the war). He cut his trip short to come home to convince her to marry him. He said he'd take care of her mother and adopt her daughter as his own. Her mother said she'd be a fool to refuse.
He made her a deal; marry him on a 30-day trial basis, and if he hadn't made her happy in 30 days, she could have an annulment and he would leave her alone forever. She accepted. On the eve of their first day of marriage, he pulled out a homemade calendar with 30 days on it, and asked, "Did I make you happy today, dear?" She said that yes, he had. So he put a big X on the first day. Every night for the next 29 days he would ask if he'd made her happy that day. He always had. At the end of 30 days she was completely in love with him, and he spent the next 25 years making sure she was happy every, single day until the day he died.
On the eve of my wedding day, May 26th, 2002, as we were climbing in to bed for the night, my new husband turned to me and said, "Did I make you happy today, dear?"
No, he did not know that story at the time.
For seven years now, hardly a day goes by that he doesn't reaffirm that he still makes me happy, which of course he does. I feel very blessed indeed.
Rest in peace, Baba and Poppy. You set a fine example.
How beautiful, Jill. Thank you very much for sharing this wonderful story.
You deserve special recognition for this one.I've been w/my significant other for 11 yrs. He is a black Bombay named Slick. I have given up relationships w/people.
Not quite. Like all rituals, marriage changes you. You come out at the other end a different person, with part of your soul joined with another's for eternity. At least that's the idea.
In some circles, yes.
I am not becoming a possession. I am not 'joining my husband's clan'. I am not nullifying my connection to my mother and father. And I don't have a 'soul'. :p
Changing my name seemed like it would have been a repudiation of my entire life up to that point. :headshake
YMMV.
I'm with Gravdigr.
I hate people. I probably always have. I need to embrace my misanthropic heart and just say fuck it and have fantasy relationships for the rest of my life b/c I sucksucksuck at the real thing. I used to think I drank to make other people tolerable; and maybe I did.
and BTW, way to go on creating the Valentine's Day equivalent of a thread. yeah, I feel left out. so what?
lol.
I don't hate people. But I really don't suit the whole couple thing. Fantasy relationships are far more satisfying. Apart from anything else, you can put them away when they're inconvenient :P
I'm with Gravdigr.
and BTW, way to go on creating the Valentine's Day equivalent of a thread. yeah, I feel left out. so what?
but but but I put your option very first, right it the top, cream of the crop....... :cry:
I have been with my right hand literally all my life. We get along fine.
But does your left hand know?
If you do it with your left hand it feels like someone else.
If you use someone else's left hand, it's even better.
So does using your left hand make it cheating on your right hand? Or not because you have an open relationship?
I prefer using an old person's hand. Especially if they have some sort of palsy.
Oh, so, still attached to the old person is what you meant?
You are on a roll today, Clodfobble. :)
Planning a trip for the 25th wedding aniv. and can't decide between a week in Jamacia or St. Martin.
Spending our 15th apart -I will be at daughter's overnight camp :lol:
This one time, at band camp....
Planning a trip for the 25th wedding aniv. and can't decide between a week in Jamacia or St. Martin.
Decisions, decisions...:headshake
Just managed to scrape in 35 years...
Flint and I have been married 4 years ... as of yesterday.