Hobos: How do you kill yours?
I favour blunt force trauma to the head m'self, followed by the theft of his super new wheelie-tent.
How bout you?
HA HA HA
Personally I like to scare them to death by driving by and shooting them with a paintball gun.
[COLOR="Silver"](I am so burning in hell for that)[/COLOR]
I like to feed them, and clothe them, and give them a home. After decades of treating them nicely, I find that they usually die quite satisfactorily from cancer or heard disease or some such.
I make them read Internet message boards till their heads explode.
I use items I get from Acme, depending on my mood. You can find your own in the catalog.
Oh god no. I thought Hobo killing was just a Bri and Shaw sick joke. I didn't realise I had stumbled inadvertently onto some interwebz memery...
That's so sick. I feel sullied. I hopped onto a bandwagon and landed in a decomposing cat. Nice.
Reminds me of Creme Eggs. Sorta.
how do you eat yours?
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Thatr's what was in my mind when I posted that lol. The creme egg ad had just been on tv.
I feed them one of Radar's hot dogs.
i know it was. They still do those ads then? i couldn't find a good one on youtube, so I settled for a spoof.
Creme eggs have become widely available and reasonably priced here over the last few years. I take personal credit for it. Except that..... I can't eat them anymore... i just can't handle that much sugar. i used to buy and rat them by the dozen.... :yum:
I feed them one of Radar's hot dogs.
Oh no you di'int! :lol:
Yah. Last time I had one, it set my teeth on edge. And I can happily munch an entire pack of Greek halva, or a box of super sugary indian sweets. Ain't nothing quite so sweet as the yolk of a creme egg.
I like to throw burgers at them. If the impact doesn't kill them, and they aren't crushed by the stampede of hungry hungry hobos, I figure the salt, fat, botulism, e-coli and mutant prions are a good chance to finish them off.
Or, just lock 'em in the car boot and leave 'em there.
i guess i could make him bounce on a trampoline until he fell off and hit his head....he'd have to hit his head pretty hard, though.
Creme eggs have become widely available and reasonably priced here over the last few years. I take personal credit for it.
But they got much smaller. :(
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I don't actually kill hobos myself. I just collect the dead hobos others have killed, have them stuffed by a taxidermist, and send them to the
National Hobo Museum in Britt, Iowa. ;)
I know, I know, you thought the hobo museum was in
Hoboken, Georgia and run by TheMercenary. That one is unofficial and only for hobos with bounties on them. :cool:
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I don't kill hobos.
I sit down and talk to them about how hard my life is, not living on the street, having loving parents and a freezer full of food, and they kill themselves out of pity.
Mine died of boredom while I was practicing my stand-up routine. :(
I don't actually kill hobos myself. I just collect the dead hobos others have killed, have them stuffed by a taxidermist, and send them to the National Hobo Museum in Britt, Iowa. ;)
Holy Road Trip Batman!!!! That's only a few hours from me by car.
I don't kill hobos.
I sit down and talk to them about how hard my life is, not living on the street, having loving parents and a freezer full of food, and they kill themselves out of pity.
Oh, you are just
brutal! Even I wouldn't do
that!
You're on report!
I kill them one joke at a time.
But they got much smaller. :(
oh dear, I just assumed it was me getting bigger.....
I never kill them intentionally, :( ...but these are some of the ways .....
> I leave them in my pockets when I put my jeans in the wash
> I put them in the oven to defrost overnight and then forget about them until I next turn it on to preheat....
> They fall into the recycling bin when I rearrange my desk
> They fall in the toilet when I lean over to flush
> I put them on the roof of the car while i unlock it and then forget about them
> I plug them into the circit that already has the microwave, kettle and festive lights on it
> I take them where there is no signal and forget to put them in hibernate mode
> I put them too close to magnets
> I don't screw their caps on tight enough and they go flat
When Miss Dallas was in first grade, I brought her home from after-school care one lovely late spring day. She immediately went for her bike, and unscrewed the top of the water bottle that had come with it attached to the frame. She pulled out a couple deceased fireflies. When I asked her what was going on, she said, "These are my fireflies. I'm going to be a famous firefly collector when I grow up."
"Ummm... hon... those are dead."
"No they're not. They're sleeping. See, I put some grass in with them so they'd have something to eat."
So, monster, your post reminded me of that, and I wondered if there are any clues here for possible hobo treatments.
stick 'em in rice for a week.
I'm not much of a do-it-yourselfer when it comes to this.
Today I asked a chickcop to taser a particular one the next time she was teetering on the edge of the bridge and just let her drop into the Schulykill.
I try to be inventive with the ways in which I ask the cops to dispose of my problems.
I just heard about
Hobo Stew over the weekend. Suddenly this thread made scary sense. :reaper:
Creme egg ads are getting seriously weird.
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I make my hoboes read everything TW has ever written. If that doesn't get them, I RickRoll `em.
I likes to take care of my hobos. I give them (asbestos) blankets to stay warm. Shampoo (Nair) to help with the lice and make them smell better. (Granny's Rheuma-tis) medicine for various aches pains, and acceleration of liver failure. Plenty of bicycle tire repair patches for repairing leaks in the tent (that one is to be nice). An old iPod loaded up with Yoko Ono and Nirvana, plus an old pistol with one Barney Fife bullet to end the torture. Yep, I likes to take care of my hobos.