I'm exactly 5ft 9in. This has no bearing on acts of personal violence

Discuss.

I am 5' 7" and I find that I have moments of intense dislike, followed by the urge to punch or poke eyes, but the feeling dissipates if I have a lolly pop.

I do tend to do violence with my eyes, though.

That sounds kind of wrong.

Oh, wait, you mean nasty looks. Nevermind, I was thinking of something else entirely.

Zhuge Liang;542095 wrote:

Oh, wait, you mean nasty looks.

No, I mean lasers.

Still better than the image I had in my mind.

I'm 6'2 and seldom have to resort to violence. but then....maybe it's my breath?

Maybe???

:::breathes on you:::::

well?

Actually they're violas.

I played the viola for seven years. But no one ever attacked me over it.

Clodfobble;542216 wrote:

I played the viola for seven years. But no one ever attacked me over it.

I hear you can get fiddler crabs from that.

Clodfobble;542216 wrote:

I played the viola for seven years. But no one ever attacked me over it.

Of course not, that would be violins.

footfootfoot;542237 wrote:

Of course not, that would be violins.

Which can lead to pre-marital sax.

and then everyone gets the French Horn

I'm 5'3", and while I sometimes have violent fantasies, acting out on them would be a really bad idea (except for the time I took an axe to the gas heater, that was cathartic) so mostly I bake, cry, or scream at the kitchen ceiling instead.

you should see jinx vacuum when she's angry. terrifying

Actually that does sound terrifying.

lumberjim;542272 wrote:

you should see jinx vacuum when she's angry. terrifying

That is so funny.

When my mom was mad, the pots came out of the cupboard in a much louder manner. That was as far as it went but banging pots still give me pause. :)

All 5'2 of me will throttle you. It should feel a little like a red ant bight.

Tiki;542271 wrote:

...except for the time I took an axe to the gas heater

That kind of catharsis can produce a crater where your house used to be. :eek:

Beestie;542309 wrote:

That kind of catharsis can produce a crater where your house used to be. :eek:

Nah, I turned off the gas first. :)

I am 5'2 1/2 and although I am not violent in action, I do have an acid tongue on occasion. I'd like to kick some people in the arse but refrain from actually putting this into play. Besides they could probably turn around and kick mine into oblivion! I'm tough but not that tough. Also I don't fight a fight I know I can't win :D

Shawnee123;542277 wrote:

That is so funny.

When my mom was mad, the pots came out of the cupboard in a much louder manner. That was as far as it went but banging pots still give me pause. :)

I don't vacuum when I am angry. However, I do handles pots and doors a bit harder. I once cracked a door frame in a rage instance. :rolleyes: My mom wondered why the locked suddenly didn't work anymore. :D

Cicero;542299 wrote:

All 5'2 of me will throttle you. It should feel a little like a red ant bight.

Remind me not to get on your bad side, I'm have a really nasty reaction to red ant bites and they tend to hurt for over a month!

All 5'2" of me use to get in regular fights, I wouldn't say I won, but I didn't lose. I'm too old and decrepit now, its too hard to lift my arms up high enough to hit anyone in the face, 'cept for a midget. But everyone knows you can't beat a midget in a fight.

Zhuge Liang;542086 wrote:

I'm exactly 5ft 9in. This has no bearing on acts of personal violence

Is that before or after a haircut?

I'm 5ft 7. But I have a lot of weight behind me.
I mostly get my violent impulses out in my dreams.

Quite often I have violent dreams about my sister. I mean bashing her brains out on the pavement level of violence.
IRL I just don't get why she doesn't like me. I have this fear that my Mum doesn't really like me either, and that it is my fault, because I'm essentially unloveable.
One of the main reasons for my brief and badly thought out marriage was that my ex loved me even though he knew me.

Can you tell my therapy session brought a lot out last week?

Anyway. I have never had a really good fight.
I worry that if I was ever roused to that extent I would end up killing someone or being killed.
And right now I have no friends I can turn to to help me bury the body. Now that's a real friend. Oh, Dani, maybe. I worry she is too moral.
Limey also maybe. But I'd have to get the body all the way up to Arran!
Can't be a bloody death then... too much seepage.

I'll leave for a while, while I plan this properly...

Oh, and can you all be my character witnesses if I am accused of something premeditated?

Sundae Girl;543612 wrote:

Quite often I have violent dreams about my sister. I mean bashing her brains out on the pavement level of violence.

You've only dreamed about it? I can't count the number of times my sis and I have attempted that IRL.

IRL I just don't get why she doesn't like me.

Because she's a douche and beneath you. Well maybe not, but thats the only reason I could think of anyone not liking you. Have you tried family counseling? You're already going, maybe your therapist would be willing to do a session between you and her, you could trick your sis into going by telling her the therapist really just wants a better view of your interactions with other people. (In other words make it about you not her.) Same might be a good idea for your mom and you.

You don't want to hide a body, you want to destroy it. Got any pig farms nearby? Pigs will eat bone. All that the authorities will find is suspicious pig crapp.
That being said, no I do not have any pig farms near me, so don't even try to pin the disappearance of that stupid bitch Kel-..., er I mean nice lady I only know about because I saw her on the news, on me. What was her name again?

Ah but you don't know me :)
Thanks for the kind words.

I'd never get my sis into therapy. I'd be lucky if she even asked how I was following a serious accident/ hospitalisation. No doubt she'd think it would upset the children and be another black mark against me. She's certainly never enquired about the state of my health even knowing I have been seriously depressed and suicidal.

In fact I was in a terrible state when I was living in Leicester (and visiting Mum and Dad here) and the most she said was, "I hope she isn't expecting to come to the BBQ - we don't have enough food." Coming from the woman who caters for five people for every one (she is a great host I will admit). And the fact Mum told me that suggests she said worse, which was kept from me.

No, to Laura I am a failure as an Aunt. Because of me, her son doesn't have a Godfather. It's all kinda gone on from there really. Black sheep? Try black, stinking, bloated and full of corruption sheep. And we never talk about it because in some ways she's more brittle than me. At least what I project to the world is warts and all. She projects an image of perfection (she is pretty, and still thin) but is quite fragile underneath.

Do I envy her? Of course. So this might all be projection. But I just wish she could love me for who I am. As I do her. Never mind, I've got my bro.

You could always just snap her like a twig?

Also, would it be inappropriate of me to suggest a cunt punt? :P





[eta] I think I just pretty much cemented the fact that it'd be a bad idea for Mum of Sundae to start frequenting the Cellar....

My little sis and I have similar troubles, SG, but where your sister is the image of perfection, mine is a Rastafarian and smokes the equivalent of four Jamacian fields daily. I don't see where she gets her 'tude. At any rate, I know my sis is struggling so I don't taunt her (though, like MTP, she and I did go for blood when we were younger and living together in the parental home. I recall we circled one another with knives weilded in a careless manner towards each others brisket area) - maybe sisters are just hard on each other.

It's also possible she wishes like hell she could divorce her husband and resents you for having the sheer guts to not only have done but to have survived brilliantly.

Or, as Dana suggests, cunt punt her.

Cicero;542299 wrote:

All 5'2 of me will throttle you.

Once you've fetched a stool to stand on, presumably?

Cicero;542299 wrote:

All 5'2 of me will throttle you. It should feel a little like a red ant bight.

Zhuge Liang;543690 wrote:

Once you've fetched a stool to stand on, presumably?

Yeah, 'cause you're a freaking giant. ;) In fact, you're ZHUGE!:eek:

Zing!

Besides, what are short people good for, aside from mockery and occasionally serving as temporary replacement furniture?

Don't you mean Zhing? :p

DanaC;543621 wrote:

You could always just snap her like a twig?

Also, would it be inappropriate of me to suggest a cunt punt? :P





[eta] I think I just pretty much cemented the fact that it'd be a bad idea for Mum of Sundae to start frequenting the Cellar....

How insensitive of you.

I'm an insensitive person.

RAV (Random Acts of Violence) tend to be frequently imagined by me. I'm an angry, angry person. Fortunately, I am also a self-controlled person, so no RAV have actually been committed.


Hush, or I'll shove the ax in deeper.