Funny movie lines for no reason
Some movies are just funny. Funny in a way that even those who don't find it amusing know it's going for the funny bone (and no, not funny like a clown.)
I was watching
The Good Girl last night (LOVE it...my kind of "slice of life/human beings with faults and all" movie.)
In the part where Justine tells her husband "Gwen died today" he replies "What? What for?"
I don't know why, but the "what for" still has me chuckling.
Any examples that make you laugh?
I am compelled to say them all the time. But not on command.
Princess Bride: That'sthhhh.....incontheivable!
And I am always compelled to scream out, Wiiiilson!!! WILSON!!! (Tom Hanks to his friend the volleyball)
Sealab (adult swim)
Sparks: So?
Debbie: So shut up.
Master Shake:
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I slapped that right out of your hands.
Did you get me my Cheez Wiz, boy?
Master Shake:
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I slapped that right out of your hands.
LOL!!!! That is funny. :lol:
Master Shake is my hero.
Chet (Weird Science): D'you spit in this?
Doc Holiday (Tombstone): "Ah'm your huckleberry."
Dazed and Confused: "Well, why'd you say that, chief?"
Demented and sad, but social.
The boss was giving shift report. I don't even remember what he was talking about, but the story required a hand gesture ... He cupped his hands together, and moved them away from his body in kind of an exaggerated bouncing motion.
I immediately said, "Put Edwina back in bowl" in a very faux-Indian (ohm Indian, not woo-woo Indian) accent.
The boss' response? "That's exactly what I was trying to say."
Somehow, it was in context. Can't for the life of me remember how. I'm pretty sure that noone's soul was displaced. Or maybe that was what the patient thought was going on ... or. I dunno. But it was really darn funny.
@ flint:
I guess I was referring to lines that aren't particularly funny in and of themselves, or even that they have to be in context. For example, if I were at the local grocery, and someone said "Ruthie Puthie died" and someone else said "What for?" I would find that really funny.
If someone else said "Why did Ruthie Puthie cross the road" and someone else replied "To get to the chicken" I would not find that funny but I would know that the person saying it thought it was hilarious.
Hell, maybe I am drunk right now!
What wolf said.
:)
My husband and I often say "See what happens, Larry?" to each other when we do something stupid.
Or "Bring my my crown!" (from the Attila made for TV movie)
Not a movie line, but "What did you learn?" by Stewie Griffin kills me.
"Very flattering in the, uh, crotchal region"
"Wash this"
"Excuse me, bearfucker, do you need assistance?"
"Chickenfucker!! Bwaaak!!"
My husband and I often say "See what happens, Larry?" to each other when we do something stupid.
you're being very un-Dude
when we do something...
un-dudelike:)
Sparks: Hey Debbie, I have something for you.
Debbie: What is it?
Sparks: A book.
Debbie: What's the book?
Sparks: A Modest Proposal.
Debbie: By whom?
Sparks: Johnathon Swift.
Debbie: And what is the book about?
Sparks: Eating babies.
allow myself to introduce...myself.
I'm Richie Cunningham and this is my wife, Oprah.
I know what
you're asking yourself,
and the answer is yes,
I have a nickname for my penis.
Did you get me my Cheez Wiz, boy?
Blues Brothers. I think I could write the entire script from memory.
Not really a line, but
There Will Be Blood
Right after the last scene. It was kinda like, "see, we told ya so!"
- Would you call me selfish?
- Not to your face.
Still makes me snigger.
Don't you mean "snegro"?
Anyway ---
"You're a sensitive boy, aren't you, Tommy?"
"The goddam Germans ain't got nothin' to do wit it!"
"Anybody know why Ritchie killed Bobby Lupo?"
"You make my asshole itch."
"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."
My Wife uses one when somebody walks into her -
(yelled) - "MY TIT! YOU BROKE MY TIT!"
[after Paul fires one of his workers]
Paul Moore: Now, if there's anything I can do for you...
Employee: Well, I certainly hope you'll die soon.
from Broadcast News
Not a movie line, but I remember an old episode of M*A*S*H* where BJ walks into the tent and asks "What's so absorbing, junior?"
Subtle, didn't even use the laugh track.
another one: Hawkeye treats an Ethiopian who then thanks him in Ethiopian. Hawkeye responds: That's Haile Selassie of you. (sp?)
Another TV one. What a difference a few decades make.
Check out this video from Mork and Mindy (circa 1978). Watch the big surprise at the 2 minute mark.
Setup: Exidor is a religious nut who believes in aliens. Mork is an alien.
[youtube]aylTZqvwc_0[/youtube]
Here's some swiss cheese and some bullets.
"That's FRONKENSTEEN......
My grandfather's work was dodo!"
'Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.'
Actually, everything is funny for a reason. In this case, the best suited phrase is 'the banality of evil'.
"Jack Deth! The only man I've had sex with!"
"Jack Deth! The only man I've had sex with!"
I think you're looking for
this thread.
I immediately said, "Put Edwina back in bowl" in a very faux-Indian (ohm Indian, not woo-woo Indian) accent.
Finally, another human being who gets this. I've done this one a bunch of times and people just look at me like, "What bowl? And why does your voice sound like Microsoft's tech support?"
We must be the only Lily Tomlin/Steven Martin fans.
Don't you mean "snegro"?
That's hilarious! I was thinking the same thing. Very nice. Also, kudos on the fight club quote.
Here's some interesting trivia about that line...
The original "pillow talk"-scene had Marla saying "I want to have your abortion". When this was objected to by Fox 2000 Pictures President of Production Laura Ziskin, David Fincher said he would change it on the proviso that the new line couldn't be cut. Ziskin agreed and Fincher wrote the replacement line, "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school". When Ziskin saw the new line, she was even more outraged and asked for the original line to be put back, but, as per their deal, Fincher refused.
Meg Swan:
We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other
From
Best in Show (one of the funniest movies EVAH)
Ghostbusters, whaddya want?
Oooh...yeah, Ghostbusters. I love when Bill Murray says "no human could stack books like that" with that wry smile on his face.
Listen. Do you smell something?
One of my favorite movies - and very quotable.
Just posted elsewhere:
Have fun stormin' the castle.
Who would wanna steal bodyparts? Delivered in an appropriately theatrical way by the security guard, just prior to our hero returning to the screen.
from re-animator.
The chick can't hold her smoke.
--Breakfast Club
I think you're looking for this thread.
Nope, sorry HLJ. That's your thread. Obviously you've never seen Helen Hunt's performance in the critically acclaimed film "Trancers."
Buddy: [out of breath from chasing Michael] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?...
-Elf, the movie
"That's gonna leave a mark"
No matter where you go, there you are.
"The military is probably best for him.."
-Spellbound
"They said you was hung!"
"--They was right!"
&
" 'scuze me while I whip this out"
-Blazing Saddles
"They never did turn me into a toad."
--O Brother Where Art Thou
No matter where you go, there you are.
I have a mug that says that ... it has nothing to do with the movie, although I do have both a mug and teeshirt that are directly related to the movie. There are a ton of gems in that one ... "Why is there a watermelon there?" "I'll tell you later."
Another one that just tickles me ... "Turn to the right."
Any Raising Arizona will do. Pretty much any line in the film.
True enough.
"If we had no crawdad, we ate sand."
"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase."
And Huggies are just generally funny.
So many social engagements... so little time.
Those aren't pillows!
[eta] it is now customary in my circle to interject into any uncomfortable silence, or momentary halt to a conversation in response to a bold statement..."How bout them bears?"
Any Raising Arizona will do. Pretty much any line in the film.
Don't you come back here without no baby, Hi.
@ DanaC...Planes Trains and Automobiles? Love it!
son, you got a pantie on your head.
ya gotta phone down here ya think?
I aint payin ya to be a canary.
Krawlik,... she's dunking.
The place by the thing where we went that time.
" Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue" - Airplane
from Airplane also: "Certainly I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley."
Donger.....where is my automobile?
I wonder if the carpet matches the pubes?
When God gives you lemons, he opens a window.
I wouldn't shit you. You're my favorite turd!
Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!
Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
What have we got here, a fucking comedian?
Be sure you only fuck the ones that cough.
I've used "It's sluggish, like a wet sponge" any number of times, especially, but not limited to, driving. Unless you count Wii Mario Cart as driving.
"I've had a drinking problem since the war."
What gets the most play at the nuthouse? Strangely, nothing from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Rather, "It's a madhouse, a MADHOUSE!" gets yelled out at least once every three shifts.
"Shovels just make too damn much racket."
"He aint the kind of retard that rubs shit in is hair is he?"
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]“I always have my coffee when I watch radar, you know that!” [/SIZE][/FONT]
Another one from,
O Brother Where Art Thou:
Everett: Well, ain't it a small world- spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.
"Well I'll only be 82!"
Delmar really was a paradigm of hope.
Everett: I'm not sure that's Pete."
Delmar: "Sure it is! Look at him!"
Lotsa respectable people get hit by trains! - Penny
Vernon here's got a job. Vernon's got prospects. He's bona fide. What are you? -Penny, O Brother Where Art Thou
:muse: "He can afford to give the girls clarinet lessons."
"And all that that implies."
-- Kent Mansly in The Iron Giant
We can stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?
[COLOR=White]- Fargo[/COLOR]
I don't know some of these. Could we have attributes please?
Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.
[COLOR=White]- Glengarry Glen Ross[/COLOR]
If we're taking you with us, we can't be calling you " Milky."
- What's your real name ?
- Casper, but my friends call me "Whitey."
Get your cock out of my Chrysler, you son of a bitch !
...if, indeed, that is your name....
Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.
Heathers:
"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw!"
And
"Hey, so what's your damage?!?"
Love Heathers! That line about "more people" showing up for that one chick's funeral...no time to look must get back to meeting.
jinx, that B Manilow is from Breakfast Club, right?
Move it up until the private in front of you smiles.
Well... No shit.
You're not afraid of a little blood, are you?
I do not like you! You cannot bring your shit here without my permission! Disappear, scumbag! (paraphrased)
Hey - my tour of duty runs another 85 years! There's a piece of dirt up here with your name on it! I'm waitin' for you, you little maggot! (paraphrased)
I smell bullshit.
" I wasn't plannin' on hitting you with my face."
"What? No! We can't stop here! This is bat country!"
I was just reminded of one of my all time favorite segments on The Sopranos: Christopher (must be said like Adriana said it) and Paulie were chasing the russian dude in the woods. Russian dude hits Christopher upside the head with a shovel. Paulie is on the phone with Tony, and trying to be cryptic on the cell, Tony asks if they got "the package."
Paulie responds "The package hit Chrissie with an implement."
Oh, and who didn't love Adriana? She was great!
Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh.
Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.
Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me.
Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people
Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick.
Did you get me my Cheez Wiz, boy?
"Blues Brothers" right?
I hear Dr. Farnsworth's voice in my head a couple of times a day, on average. It's getting ridiculous. :haha:
I was just reminded of one of my all time favorite segments on The Sopranos: Christopher (must be said like Adriana said it) and Paulie were chasing the russian dude in the woods. Russian dude hits Christopher upside the head with a shovel. Paulie is on the phone with Tony, and trying to be cryptic on the cell, Tony asks if they got "the package."
Paulie responds "The package hit Chrissie with an implement."
Oh, and who didn't love Adriana? She was great!
I was really sad when they whacked her, but not as sad as when Tony killed Chris. There have been a lot of times during the show when I both loved and hated Tony. But when he killed Chris, I secretly hoped Phil would get to him first.
Man, that shit really works. :)
I was really sad when they whacked her, but not as sad as when Tony killed Chris. There have been a lot of times during the show when I both loved and hated Tony. But when he killed Chris, I secretly hoped Phil would get to him first.
Oh yeah...I loved Adriana and Christopher. I cried when they whacked her! What a great show, huh? :)
I had to give up HBO and cable before the last season. I still haven't seen it.
Oh, and a movie line:
Don't be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote, 'A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.' He was a funny guy.
I'm on a Caddyshack quote kick today, and I searched "movie quote" and found this old thread o' mine.
Ty Webb: What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?
____________________________________________________________________
Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch
Lloyd Dobler: She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.
Lloyd Dobler: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
--Say Anything
Bring me four fried chickens and a coke.
You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
No ma'am. Four fried chickens and a coke.
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
That's one of my favorites Brianna. I was totally in love with him after that movie.
Paul Cicero: You know anything about this fucking restaurant business?
[Talking to Henry]
Sonny Bunz: He knows everything about it. I mean he's in the joint 24 hours a day. I mean another fucking few minutes he could be a stool that's how often he's in there.
--Goodfellas
Oscar Madison: I know him. He'll kill himself just to spite me. Then his ghost will come back, folling me around the apartment, haunting and cleaning, haunting and cleaning, haunting and cleaning...
--The Odd Couple
I'm not a madam. I'm the concierge.
The Producers
(the one true version, with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder)
I'm not a madam. I'm the concierge.
The Producers
(the one true version, with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder)
You said it, sistah!
Chief Monk: Torquemada - do not beg him for mercy. Torquemada - do not ask him for forgiveness. Let's face it - you can't Torquemada anything!
--History of the World Part I
A great big bushy beard!
Sergeant Butterman, Hot Fuzz
Fetch Ralph; we need nails and some wood!
The Judge, Blood on Satan's Claw
"Dear Uncle Ned, Merry Christmas and May Your Soul Rot in Hell."
It's from one of those bunch of people spend overnight in the haunted mansion movies from the Late 50s, early 60s.
of course, now that I need to remember it, I can't remember the title. It was either The House on Haunted Hill or The Haunting.