Shitting at Work
How (where) do you approach this controversial activity?
I must be weird, because I don't have this seemingly endless fascination with bathroom threads. But, to answer your question . . .
The men's restroom.
It was pretty much a daily routine, usually just before I started work at 8. No uncomfortable-ness.
I use the handi stalls whenever they're open. Tend to be cleaner. Also would sneak into the faculty restrooms in high school so I didn't have to sit on the cigarette-burned student toilet seats.
I dont have a problem crapping in the female toilets anywhere, anytime.
It seems thats not quite normal, my friends wait until they are at their own home toilet.
I'm also quite fond of blaming whoever used the toilet before me for my stench :)
Toilet, portapotty, tree, plastic bag, anywhere, any time, baby!
A helicopter flew over me about 70 ft off the deck as I was poppin a squat behind a bush while working a wildfire this summer.
Although I do actually make sure there is a toilet involved I do go anywhere, anytime.
No special preparations needed. We have three different kinds of freshener spray and a fan in the office bathroom (single user). Everybody knows that if the fan's still running, you enter at your own risk.
Three of my coworkers sneak upstairs to poop.
I'll only do that if it's time to retire and the CEO's desk is involved.
i work 14 hour days. you do the math
When I was sailing up the inland passage to Alaska about 30 years ago I was taking a dump off the side of our boat when we hit a squall. It was November and my pants filled with sleet/hail in seconds. As I was trying to scoop, bail and wipe with soggy TP, we rounded an island as a cruise ship passed us in the other direction, everyone got a nice look. My buddies were howling with laughter.
That was YOU??? My aunt and uncle were on that cruise and she hasn't been right since!! ;)
You insensitive sods, my aunt and uncle were pooping out of the window of the WTC on 9/11 when a plane full of tourists.....
If I do the 2 at work its usually early. Unless something wasn't right last night in which case, abandon hope all ye who enter the room of men.
I always use the handicap stall. I don't care. As with handicap parking spaces, there are 10x more stalls/spaces than actual handicappers so I don't consider myself a squatter.
I like the wide open vistas one gets in the handicap stalls. The big door, the private sink, etc. I like being able to spread out and not be cramped while attending to the task at hand.
Having said that, however, there is one thing that I have no tolerance for in modern, commercial bathrooms. This belongs in the "Whatever happened to..." thread but I'll post it here also. What the hell happened to toilets that you actually flush yourself? What is up with this newfangled, electronic, infrared, heat-seeking, big-brother, automatic "I'll Flush For You" bullshit?
Excuse me but if I can do everything leading up to that point, I think I can pretty much finish the freakin' job without some doofus electro-toilet sending 12 ounces of water to do 72 ounces of water's job.
So, I am left with the job of pushing some unresponsive rubber button countless times to compensate for the fact that the water is gone long before the job is done. Then, in a final act of passive-aggressive defiance, the toilet flushes itslef one last time as I exit the stall as if to say in its finest Pee Wee Herman voice: "I can do that."
Uhh, I have news for you, toilet. No, you can't.
I don't like magic toilet either. Magic sink is pretty lame, because the water never gets to the right temperature, no matter how long you try to prime it before actually washing. Magic soap dispenser only gives out 1/4 the amount of soap you need.
Magic paper towel machine rules, just so long as it has enough towels and battery power. But sometimes it tries to give paper to the ghost that walks through the bathroom. Very disconcerting, especially when you are well out of the sensor's range.
...
Magic paper towel machine rules, just so long as it has enough towels and battery power.
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Magic paper towel machine is the best invention ever.
Have you ever had to touch one of those rust-encrusted little crank handles
to get a paper towel out? Ewww. You have to do it before you wash your hands.
...
btw: who the hell shits in a box?
I think the littering issue was in another thread, but it still shocks me.
Throwing paper towels on the floor is the ultimate in rudeness.
BUY A GEL BASED ANTI-BACTERIAL HAND CLEANSER!
I have one. I'm not a germ freak by any means. And I'm rarely ill - this Christmas being an exception but I'm in a centrally heated house with two pensioners with colds.
I used to go back to my desk and apply my hand cleaner. No-one had to clean up after me. No minimum wage serf had to pick my apparently germy paper towels off the floor. Oh and for the record - I can count the amount of times I've touched my arsehole through the toilet paper on the fingers of one (germy) hand. I use toilet paper so I don't touch it.
When the IRA were in the habit of targetting litter bins, they were removed from British Rail and Underground stations. Guess what? The decent people put their rubbish in their pockets. Okay it might not have been germy (but how do you know the newsagent didn't finger your Snickers after fingering his areshole?) but it was a minor inconvenience.
btw: who the hell shits in a box?
roofers. i thought you said you worked construction?
Makin' brown @ work? Gotta love being paid for poopin'!
I never really learned to be terribly fastidious about this sort of thing. Wherever. I've always figured that people who are freakish about where they drop a deuce probably have some other sort of trauma in their background somewhere.
Sometimes I poo on the boss's desk but I try to be stealthy about it. :)
So it was YOU.
....... but I try to be stealthy about it. :)
roofers. i thought you said you worked construction?
O xrist. Canadian tapers. DON"T OPEN THAT BUCKET OF JOINT COMPOUND!
Even when there was a porta potty on the job. WTF?
I think the littering issue was in another thread, but it still shocks me.
Throwing paper towels on the floor is the ultimate in rudeness.
BUY A GEL BASED ANTI-BACTERIAL HAND CLEANSER!
I have one. I'm not a germ freak by any means. And I'm rarely ill - this Christmas being an exception but I'm in a centrally heated house with two pensioners with colds.
I used to go back to my desk and apply my hand cleaner. No-one had to clean up after me. No minimum wage serf had to pick my apparently germy paper towels off the floor. Oh and for the record - I can count the amount of times I've touched my arsehole through the toilet paper on the fingers of one (germy) hand. I use toilet paper so I don't touch it.
When the IRA were in the habit of targetting litter bins, they were removed from British Rail and Underground stations. Guess what? The decent people put their rubbish in their pockets. Okay it might not have been germy (but how do you know the newsagent didn't finger your Snickers after fingering his areshole?) but it was a minor inconvenience.
This is the thread in question: Handwashing Regimen.
[SIZE="3"]
The number one way to prevent the spread of illness is proper hand-washing.[/SIZE]
Disease-causing germs do not care what you think is rude. This has nothing to do with manners or etiquette.
Let us suppose that out of 1,000 people how use a restroom, 999 people wash their hands and just ONE single person does not. That person has to touch the door handle on the way out. The other 999 people touch the same door handle. Net result: NOBODY washed their hands.
There is no fucking way in hell that I am touching a restroom door handle, or spring-loaded trashcan lid. Most resonsible business owners provide adequate facilities. Some do not.
Why should I shamefully tuck that paper towel in my pocket and slink away with my tail between my legs? How are they ever going to get the message? NO, I am not going to ask for the manager or write a letter. My paper towel on the floor is my message, loud and clear. INSTALL A PROPER TRASHCAN. It's not MY problem if you don't have one.
I do use gel-based hand cleanser, but it doesn't negate the germs that I would leave on every suface between the bathroom door and wherever I keep my cleanser (in the car). NO, I am not walking around all day with gel cleanser in my pocket. Proper hand-washing will do just fine. That includes not negating the whole practice by touching a germ-encrusted door handle or trashcan lid.
By the way, BOO-FUCKING-HOO to the "minimum wage serf" who has to pick up trash for a living. If you don't like it, get a better job. At a bare minimum, take some initiative to improve customer service and suggest to your manager that you install a proper trashcan for the customers (who pay YOUR bills by giving you their business). If you can't be bothered to do that, then just shoot yourself and get it over with.
What about the main entrance door handles? And the shopping cart handles? That one non-hand-washer touched those too.
You do what you can. Can't walk around all day in a hazmat suit.
And for the record, there is a near 100% probability that someone who just took a fresh, germ-filled shit touched the door to the bathroom in some way (unless they climbed out the window). Whether they used the same shopping cart as you is something you can't know with such certainty.
That's why they say "Employees must wash their hands before returing to work" and not "Employees must wash their hands in between every single activity they do, all day long." Incidentally, in healthcare (my industry), employees DO have to wash their hands in between EVERY single activity they do, all day long. They even have secret hand-washing spies, other employees who report incidences of improper hygiene. (No, I'm not one.)
Meh, just wash your hands before you eat lunch. Do it in the kitchen/pantry. That door is usually propped open anyway.
Well Flint. You turn on the water to the sink. You wash your hands. You turn the water off. You have now touched the handle that you touched before with poo-hands, and everyone else's poo hands.
Didja ever think of that? Well didja, huh huh? :p
I believe flint advocates turning the water off with your towel on the way out...
I don't like to touch the bathroom door handle either. I use my mouth instead.
I believe flint advocates turning the water off with your towel on the way out...
Oh, you're right. I do that too.
Nevermind.
I don't like to touch the bathroom door handle either. I use my [COLOR="Red"]anus[/COLOR] instead.
fixed
fixed
That explains why Flint needs the paper towel.
The bathroom where I work has extremely nice bathrooms so I don't mind going there.
The bathroom where I work has extremely nice bathrooms so I don't mind going there.
I always wondered where the bathroom attendant does his business. Now I know.